A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku]

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Figures. Sharaku wasn't the romantic type. At least, not the wordly romantic type. He does well enough with single actions that prove his intentions, but the whole lovey-dovey protocols are just not his cup of tea, Shunnosuke got that.
— Hm, I think two or three are fine. — Shunnosuke replied carelessly. Even if Sharaku made more than he should, the teen would just eat as many as he could, leaving the rest behind, simple as that. The student would prefer to worry about something else... — Well...there's another reason of why I invited you... — A reason that has nothing really to do with Valentine's. Their moment was meant to be a fun, tender moment of them both, it'd be useless if Shun was the only one enjoying the day out. Since Sharaku disliked the holiday, which is his right (the teen couldn't understand how it's possible for someone to hate such a harmless date, but to each, their own), then Shunnosuke would just have to change the approach. — It's also my birthday... — The very first birthday the teenager would rather not throw a party and have his family invite their intolerable peers, or even him inviting his former friends from his private school or equally unbearable sons and daughters of their family's connections. This time, it would be his day for himself and the person he chose to stay with him.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Fri Mar 06, 2015 4:24 pm

''Alright then.'' There was no reason to complain about that. He had asked just to be sure, and the number did not matter..unless Shun would have wanted like 10. He probably would have stopped to think over it in that case. 3 was fine with him. That said and done, he would busy himself getting the plate and all, until Shun turned the conversation back, stating that the holiday was not the sole reason for the chosen activity. ''Hm?'', he would hum absentmindedly, turning his head to look at the teen questioningly. What else was there on that particular date aside from that...?

He would raise an eyebrow at the following explanation. Really..? ''February the 14th, hm? That's kind of an ironic date to have as a birthday...'' Sort of funny. Then again, it was usually not fun for those that had their birthday on a date like this one. Like having it on Christmas, and getting only one gift for both together, because they were on the same day. He would close his eyes contemplatively. ''You'll be 17, yes? Time flies.'' He would smile faintly. ''Anyway, I'll keep that in mind.'' Guess that meant he would have to do more than just go out. Hopefully he would remember that. Usually, he didn't focus on dates when so much was going on. He was capable of forgetting his own birthday unless someone reminded him. He knew the date, yes, but he didn't think about it, even when it was close...like now for example.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Eh? — Ironic? How so, care to explain? — Shunnosuke didn't get it. He knew it was an odd coincidence to celebrate his birthday on the same day of a notorious holiday, but...where's the “irony”, exactly? Trying to not speculate here.

— ...yes. Seventeen. And after, I'll be eighteen. As you can see, I'm transpiring joy and happiness. — He commented dryly and sarcastically. Turning into an adult was a bad joke, because he knew his problems wouldn't be solved with coming of age. If anything, they'd just get worse. Or he'd grow more issues than there are already. — Now I wonder...how was it for you, Sharaku? Having to grow up, I mean, and turning into an adult on your own. — He glanced at the older, curious. Of course, he knew it wasn't the easiest stage of his life, after his traumas and having to get a job early, not being able to rely on his family to support him, but at least he owned his life and could enjoy his liberty at his will. If it weren't for what the man went through, turning into an adult who works, earns his money by himself could easily be a great moment; still, the teenager wanted to listen to Sharaku's story from his very own mouth. That is, if the man agreed to tell him in first place. There was no reason to deny, though, Shunnosuke wasn't asking for anything too private or traumatic to let go, unless sharing an everyday experience is considered private in Sharaku's books.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:27 pm

''Well...'' How to explain that one. ''I just find having a birthday on one of these holiday dates as not to much fun. Many people see it as an opportunity to not waste more money and just combine any gifts and all when it comes to it, only giving you one for both together, just because the two events occur on the same day. A funny coincidence, which usually doesn't bring a positive asset, in my opinion.'' He tried. He couldn't explain that one better than that. ''Though...not that I personally care. I tend to just forget my own birthday a lot unless something reminds me of it, so it matters not most of the time. Even if I happened to be that unfortunate.'', he would just shrug vaguely. He couldn't remember the last time he got a gift..so, it was just a way to count the rising number for him..which, honestly didn't feel like something important enough to note specifically. He could state his age correctly when needed, that was as good as it could be.

....what? He was kind of missing the reason for sarcasm there. ''What's wrong with getting older? It's not like you're about to be 60 all of a sudden. I thought most teens liked the idea of being an adult.'' Well, maybe not. Perhaps it was different for everyone, though usually they seemed happy to be reaching that kind of milestone, rather then being sarcastic over it. Though, his faint smile would turn a bit bitter when Shun asked his question. ''We are taking that by age..yes? Well, whichever way...I'd say one thing about it all. If there was a way to forget all that ever happened, I'd perhaps take it.'', he would shake his head solemnly. ''I mean, what is there to say. Anything from when I was 13, until approximately 20 was not fun. I think what you ask about fits somewhere in that gap. In case we're taking 18 as the age of being an adult, I can honestly say that was the last thing I cared about at the time.'' For now, he would leave it at that, even if a bit vague. In case Shun asked more, maybe he'd say, but he didn't feel the need to with the way the question stood right now.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Sharaku's logic makes sense. Sort of. Shun never went through that kind of problem, he always received very gift he desired. Prizes for being a good son. Or puppet, as you will. He understood, though, that could be a problem for less privileged families, who would likely have to economize what they could for more important issues, as bills. Issues out of the Kurosawa's range of relevance. Therefore, he had nothing to sat in that respect, but if the teen could be completely honest, the part where Sharaku admittedly confessed to forget his own birthday could be a bit worrying. He questioned himself why's that. Did he not care enough for himself to the point celebrating his own birthday seemed like moot and unnecessary? Made him frown in confusion. And also made him want to inquire about the correct date of his birthday and reward him a gift.

...that is, until the conversation changed the current atmosphere again. This time, Shunnosuke knew he hasn't said anything wrong. It just...felt like the air got heavy. Heavy enough for him to not make any further questions on that matter. He doubted Sharaku would answer, anyway, considering his previous "some things are better left in the past" motto and whatnot. Whatever Sharaku, a man of european stature and distinguished mannerisms, had to face in his transition to adulthood, it was probably not something the impressionable teen would be happy to know. "Curiosity kills the cat", is what they say. — ...I see. "Getting older"...in the end, it's not easy for anyone. — He tapped repeated times the border of the sink he's been leaning on, slowly. Thoughtfully staring at the ground. — Hm...did you use to have dreams of your adulthood when you were younger? I mean...did it turn out as you expected? Saving the whole supernatural, obscure background, of course. — Shun asked, not exactly looking at Sharaku. At least, not yet.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sat Mar 07, 2015 12:12 am

Hm. Sharaku would question that. He was sure that there were some that had it fairly easy, compared to the rest, even though there may be only a few here and there. It was just that most weren't extremely lucky with an easy growing up time, and some were hands down unlucky. That's life for you. Not necessarily fair for everyone the same way. It was something you just had to accept and move on. Being jealous of those that have had it much easier than you didn't help much, only made you feel more down in the end. Envy is never a nice feeling, is it?

He would just shrug indifferently, not really giving a big reaction to the talk. It felt dull to him. ''Some have it easier, some do not. That's just how it is.'' It was useless to be mad about some coincidences and such. There's nothing you can do about the past. That's one thing that cannot be changed. You can alter the present, possibly the future, but not the past. When Shun gave his follow up question, he would close his eyes, leaning against the nearby surface himself. ''I think I had. When I was really young. I don't remember much of it. But, I think ultimately, the answer is no. I'm not really who I want to be, but as it is, this is something that can't be changed. You have to live with what you've got, isn't that how it's always been...? If there's one thing that cannot be done, it's changing what has already happened.'', he would answer after a short moment of thought, just staying as he was, not really bothering to open his eyes yet.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

”Yeah...just how it is”, Shun thought to himself. He came to the conclusion there's nothing that can be done in that respect. It always comes down to the environment you're born in. Sadly, Shun's wasn't really the most loveable and affectionate home. He chose to keep silent, until Sharaku voiced his concerns, making the teen lift his gaze towards Sharaku.

— No. It isn't. Resigning yourself won't make you any good either, you may not be able to change the past, but you can always decide what you'll make of your future. — There was an odd confidence in his voice he wanted Sharaku to understand. If there was one thing Shunnosuke would never accept, is having others dictating how should he roll because “one has to live with what they got”, and the whole “Destiny being the owner of everyone's fate” blabbering people seem to love so much. It came as a surprise to see Sharaku, who despite his rather aloof demeanor had his shades of resolution, accepted it passively. Or so it seemed to Shunnosuke, who saw himself different than the older and was so used to get what he wants by every mean necessary that listening to a “this is something that can't be changed” speech could be unbearable. — ...who do you want to be?

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sat Mar 07, 2015 3:16 pm

Same old, same old. Sharaku knew that without Shun telling him. He had been refering moreso to past itself in the first place. Then again, while yes, the general consensus may be that you can decide your future, it doesn't always work. Some things cannot be changed with just a snap of your fingers. If he could just dictate what happens to him, the whole past wouldn't have happened, because he wouldn't let it do so. Try you can, but it never means you'll also accomplish what you seek. He would open his eyes, looking at the teen tiredly. ''Yes and no. I don't think you're necessarily right. I'm not resigning, but I don't look at the situation through pink glasses either. Yes, it is true that you can attempt to influence your future, and you may just succeed, but you may not either. 'Always', in my opinion, is too strong of a word for this. If it was really true that you can fully control your future, then I could have just avoided the past before it happened, and be done with it. Life isn't fair enough to allow you to do completely everything.'' Having the confidence was alright, but overdoing it could make you fall hard. Exactly why he never understood Hyde wishy-washy attitude. Everything has a chance of failure, no matter how much you try. Didn't mean he wouldn't, but he did take the possibility in mind, rather than claim there was no way he'd lose, just because his mind was set on it.

''I am not completely sure...but definitely not what has become of me. I used to be different. Now? I can barely balance a few closer relationships without things breaking apart like shattered glass. I don't think I'm enjoying myself...really.'', he would answer the question passively, staying still where he was, simply just looking towards the teen. He wasn't feeling upset, not really...but he couldn't place the feeling either. He always felt weird when talking about these matters anyway.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

— If you don't think it's entirely possible alone, why don't you seek help? — Despite the low and soft tone he used to ask it, Shunnosuke was barely holding himself anymore. His sight changed to Sharaku with deep indignation. He wouldn't be harsh on the one he liked the most, but he wouldn't swallow that talk either. Perhaps that's a sign he was more ambitious than he even knew, while Sharaku didn't show too many traces of being a go-getter like the teenager. It wasn't necessarily a bad trait, just a regular common trait of personality. A dislikable trait. — You say you're not resigning, you say you're not satisfied with what has become of you, but what are you effectively doing to change it? Are you even trying to change, in first place? I don't know what you've gone through, and I can't even measure how horrible it was for you, but...stop already. Life isn't fair enough, but we only have one to let it go to waste. — His indignation gave rise to another feeling displayed in the way he looked. Sadness, maybe, for Sharaku was going through all this misery alone. Sadness, because apparently he, Shun, really wasn't reliable enough. It seemed unjust from every angle he looked at it. — I will never know the Sharaku from before, the different one...but I enjoy this one just fine. Why don't you seek my help...? — He briefly switch his gaze to something else that wasn't the man's face, realizing the weight of his words. It's not like he was demanding trust, but...it would be fine if he could try. In the teen's mind, they might not have an official commitment, but they are involved enough to rely on each other.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sat Mar 07, 2015 6:59 pm

What..? What the hell was this conversation supposed to be? Stop what exactly? If anything, Sharaku really disliked being talked back to like that. What did Shun know of what he was trying to do? When he gave some sort of advice, the teen wasn't happy or disregarded it, and he was supposed to listen to the younger telling him what should be doing now? He did not like calling bullshit, but he really had problems standing Shun's attitude towards things. Dislikes something, but apparently it is completely okay to do the same to someone in return, because..why not? Help, right. He saw how enthusiastic Shun was when he offered help. And now he goes asking why did he not seek it from him? As much as he was doing his best to keep calm, he was officially growing annoyed by now. He wasn't letting someone butt and try solving his problems, when he was met with resistance in case he tried doing that. Even if he were to let the fact that it wasn't exactly fair exchange go, there were other factors. One, he did not ask for help, because he simply did not trust people enough anymore. Two, who even gave Shun the permission to tell him to stop and point out things he didn't know about? Certain kinds of initiative simply irked him.

Most likely, he was going to regret this, but when something flipped him out, it did, and he did not really give a damn at said moment. The biggest problem in his relations with others. He wouldn't move from his spot as of yet, but his eyes would narrow, as he gave Shun a deep scowl. ''I should stop what exactly..?'', he'd ask in a low tone. ''I'm currently not getting what are you trying to do. I never said I'm not trying, or wasting life, so I'd appreciate you do not jump on me with assumptions like those, thank you. You don't like me butting into your problems when I try, so I'd rather you do not butt into mine in this kind of manner.'' If Shun thought he was just taking the backseat, then he was horribly wrong. Just because he spoke in a...perhaps not so invested manner, it did not mean he wasn't doing anything, or at least trying. He didn't have to shout things out to the world if he didn't want to. That's just how he operated most of the time.

''Anyway, should I? You weren't enthusiastic about me offering help to you either only a while ago.'', he would state sharply, giving a sigh afterwards. ''Though, if you really want the truth, it's simple. I've never got help from anyone when I needed it. Even the opposite, actually. Fact is, I simply don't trust people by base. It has nothing to do with you. I can't bring myself to do that. I won't literally tell anyone to get lost, but I have bad experience with letting others dabble in my life. And so far, nothing changed my opinion.'' That's just how it was. He wasn't going to lie, and see how well Shun took it. The current situation wasn't helping him any. Hyde recklessly getting himself arrested, then causing a mayhem. Yeah, he was going to trust when seeing these things happen. How about no. He was aware that not everyone was a bad choice to rely on in the end, but this was something he was rather wary of risking in.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Well, that definitely should teach the teenager one or two lessons about being generous and compassionate towards people. Lately, he's been having explicit troubles whenever he decided it was a good idea to see others as people with their own problems, taking them in consideration. Of course, whenever Shunnosuke thought about it, it was anticipating a degree of benefit for himself. Not this time. It was a genuine care for Sharaku's well-being. And it backfired horribly.

Even though, he couldn't believe how...childish and immature Sharaku had become in this matter. So, is part of that about retaliation? Really? Yes, Shunnnosuke wasn't enthusiastic, mainly because it isn't a cheery subject. Is that a valid reason to be butthurt and resentful? Doesn't mean he refused the offer of help. In fact, it's the opposite, he accepted it. He might not have expressed it clearly, but doesn't equal to outwardly refusing Sharaku's display of concern. Just skeptical, maybe, and it's not because he didn't think of the older as someone unable to help, but...his problem wasn't really something that he could actually take measures against. Unless Sharaku was willing to take the teenager under his wings, which is highly unlikely. Still, staying close to him, even with little gestures such as their hugging were enough to at least alleviate that consuming feeling of being neglected. It apparently didn't work the other way around, for Sharaku had said "nothing changed his opinion". Alright then. — ..."nothing". — Shunnosuke repeated to himself, in a lower tone. So, he was among the things that didn't change Sharaku's opinion. There's nothing he could do to change that apparently, and the student couldn't help but feel defeated. Depressed. By now, he was already accepting the idea that this was never going to work, no matter how hard he tried. — You may not trust anyone, but I trust you... can't you make an effort and try to trust me back? Doesn't the fact that I care about you count? What do you want from me then? — Perhaps he sounded desperately trying to make himself valid here, perhaps it would backfire again. He didn't even know.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:42 pm

....That went..bad. And Sharaku was perfectly aware of it. When did it not? This was exactly why. Why he just couldn't keep a stupid conversation in line. He reacted too harshly when something rubbed him off the wrong way, whether by means of pushing back, or simply ignoring the other party. The former usually ended worse. He wasn't trying to mean bad, but he kind of reacted on reflex..and even though he realized he was messing up pretty quickly, it was rarely quick enough to matter. How was he to get close to someone, when this was the result once things got past the casual pleasantries exchanged with a person that was much closer to a stranger? In fact, he did usually regret it when he said something like this..but did it even matter? It only served to drive people away, sooner or later. He was tired of this.

Even if by some coincidence, he could come to trust someone completely, which was surely possible..in time, maybe...he wasn't sure he actually even wanted to...why, for this? He had the tendency to react defensively...and it was no fun for either side. Much worse when the other took it hard. It was a bit easier with Hyde, because the redhead brushed it off with his optimism quite fast...but what could he do here? It just made him feel bad. In complete honesty, if it was a valid option, he would even consider fleeing. He was kind of harsh towards others at times, but he didn't want to really hurt them unless there was a serious reason for it. After all, he wasn't a fan of violence without it being justified. Yet, he sometimes lashed out without thinking. Like a wounded animal that would bite you when you get too close, even when your intentions aren't actually meant to be further harm. He was failing to get rid of that habit still.

He would open his mouth to speak, but say nothing for a while...and then just turn around leaning against the counter, staring down at its surface. ''...I'm not sure. It's not that...I mean, I appreciate that you care...but look where is my effort getting me. This happens too often for comfort...'' His tone was kind of sad. ''..I didn't really mean what I said...I'm sorry.'' He would close his eyes with a faint sigh. ''...at times I do try, and I always end up backtracking. I can't even keep things together for very long. I guess I've just kind of stopped giving a damn at some point. Whenever I give it a go, it ends up with me pushing someone away or hurting them in some way...and that's not what I want either...so I just...I guess I've decided it's better to stay on my own. At least I can't trouble others that way.'' He almost wanted to laugh. He was so damned.

''I never even intended to get close to anyone when I came here. It just kind of happened with all that suddenly brewed up. And I guess I'm paying for it. Because this is something I do not know how to deal with....''

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

He listened to everything carefully. Just leaning against the sink just like he had been doing all this talk. Eventually, the boy hummed absentmindedly, with nothing further to add immediately, thinking of something apropriate to say in return. Up to this point, Shunnosuke didn't even know what to say anymore. If he shows compassion and support, Sharaku may react defensively and impulsive. If not, it would only confirm what the man has been saying about "nothing being able to trust anybody". Despite his apology, the teen knew Sharaku had meant it. Maybe the man was indeed sorry for the later effects of his harshness, but sorry for specifically what he said? Shun didn't think so. And ultimately, that “I don't know how” talk. Heard it before too much to not remember Sharaku's inability.

— You do know. You proved it to me before. — He commented eventually. Slowly, lazily detaching from the surface he's been leaning on, Shunnosuke moved to where Sharaku is. Standing just by his side. Not looking at him, however. — I'm not asking you to say anything fancy. Sometimes, I may like it, but ultimately I'd rather if you show that you care, as I do. And you've shown before. When I acted "not enthusiastic", as you said, it wasn't meant to belittle your initiative or any of the like. I...appreciate it. It's just...my problems aren't something that you can easily ammend. Would you take me away from home? I don't think so. — He chuckled weakily. Thinking about the possibility sounded absurd enough, cogitating the idea verbally was even more ridiculous. Even though he wasn't too fond of speaking of the matter, this was something that should be clarified before it turned into a bigger snowball. More than it's already, that is. — It may be the same for you. I'm aware I can't heal your wounds, but do you expect me to not "butt in", as you said, when I can clearly see you're unhappy with your current life? With yourself? You never received help, fine. But...I'm here. If you don't want to push anyone away...then don't. Just allow me to stay. Even if you never even intended before. — It sounded like their involvement was "an accident", not something meant to be. Not something desired. He heard it before, already, in a different context. From a different person, who used to be equally important. His eyes were a bit teary by now. Those were harsh words. And yes, Shunnosuke was deeply hurt by all of them, even when they "weren't" meant to attack him. However, now he could have a better understanding of Sharaku's actions. Quietly, he moved closer. Closer to the point his arm was side to side to Sharaku's...touching it, skin to skin. A way to show Shunnosuke was serious when he said he was "here". — The more I know you, the more I think you don't really like to be alone at all...and the more feel I shouldn't let go.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:36 pm

''Do I..?'' Sharaku would mutter faintly. ''Then why do we always argue in the end...?'' And it wasn't as if Shun was the only one. It was just the easiest to bring about, due to the kinds of subjects that were up in the air in their case. He would stay still, listening with a sigh. ''I suppose I'm not used to people giving this much damn over someone else, instead of dealing with their own problems first and foremost. Being reminded of it all the time does not make one feel any better. I'm just stressed out already. And certain people like Hyde do not help at all. I'm getting tired of him speaking as if everything could get magically solved by optimism alone. I definitely do not get better by eating imaginative rainbows.'' The only thing such approach did was irritating him more, and he was already in a fluctuating mood with all that was going on around. No help.

He would almost flinch when Shun touched him, not having paid attention beforehand. Shifting in place a little, he would look at the teen, a bit exasperated. ''Well, I have no idea about that one. I've gotten used to being alone....I'm not sure what should I be liking about extended company, seeing as it ends in an argument good eighty percent of the time. Am I supposed to enjoy that..? It seems that I don't get along with most people, and I'm not truly interested in fighting with every other person.'' No, he didn't necessarily like to be alone, because it wasn't fun after a while, but was the other option better? He was going to die of stress that way, if nothing else. Maybe he would consider taking it...but he did not want a warzone..and most people reacted badly to many things he did.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

That wasn't the reaction he aimed for. Those weren't the words he wanted to listen. He stayed quiet this time. Unlike before, when he remained silent briefly and came up with what he thought to be an efficient way of showing he cared, now it’s like he had lost any will to speak up.

— …I understand. Well, I think I’ll be waiting in the living room. Tell me when you’re done. With the…pancakes. — He had barely forgotten about them. All that emotional talk about Valentine’s, future, adulthood and obviously the regular topic, “their future”, deviated the attention from the reason of why they were in the kitchen in first place. Well. Talking just won’t work, Shun accepted it. At least for now. If Sharaku was distressed about that subject, there’s no use enforcing intimacy to make him reconsider what he’s been saying. Fiery speeches just won’t do any good, instead they might turn the man even more wary and careful. So…it’s better if he had his own time to think over stuff. Just like Shun wanted to have his. Oddly, the older mentioned Hyde quite a number of times in this conversation. Made the teen wonder for a second if the redhead would be that complicate to deal with instead. In any event, unless Sharaku prevented him from actually turning his back and making his way to the other room, that’s what the teenager would do, without even looking back. Perhaps he’d try again later, when he had disposition to do so. For now, Shun’d rather sit on the couch; he and his defeat.

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» Scared Straight (Patty Courage Tutor Night 1)
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» Another visit: (Paige)
» Friendly Visit [Jack]