A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku]

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:06 pm

Out of all things possible, Shun had to ask just that. Not that Sharaku didn't expect any rebound, and questioning after what he had said, but this one...was a bit problematic to put out in words. How do you explain something you don't know that well? ''Who am I...?'', he'd mutter under his breath, not looking at the teen for a while. What to say? ''That's the question of the year. At times, I feel like not even I know the answer to that.'' But it was a good one nevetheless. Because, presumably, it is kind of bad when you don't know how to answer it.

''As for why....'', he would sigh faintly. ''There are plenty reasons. It varies between people. Generally, they tend to claim I seem dangerous. I think I intimidate them somehow, I don't really know.'', he would shrug, almost indifferently. ''Then there are those that know about the supernatural. I suspect a bigger part wouldn't be happy if they knew certain things. I'm sure everyone would at least give me looks if I told them that I practically spend 24/7 with something that is normally considered an enemy. Then again, I don't really go around claiming that.'', he would rub the brifge of his nose. This was headache inducing to think about. ''That aside...the question itself...what defines who a person is? I really don't know what to answer you. Is there anything specific I should be looking at..?'' This was probably being harder than it should. But he was mildly confused right now.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Dangerous? Intimidating? Maybe, who knows. To Shunnosuke, Sharaku was just completely harmless. He can be the sweetest when they don't argue, and though they indeed may argue a lot, it never went past the boundaries of a verbal-only clash. Where's the danger exactly? He wasn't getting it.

— I don't know! You tell me, you were the one who confessed using a façade...makes me feel like I don't know you at all. — Shunnosuke really didn't know what to say here, staring back at Sharaku and finding himself at a loss of words. All the points he raised, Shunnosuke didn't really give a damn about. If Sharaku says his reasons for acting differently than his true self varied according to which person he's dealing with in the moment...then what was his reason in Shun's case? — I...I can't understand what people see on you to think you're intimidating and dangerous, you're far from that. So...why? If I'm not like most people...if I'm comfortable around you, then what reason do you have to not be yourself around me? — His tone had a pleading hint to it, for he really wanted to understand the man's logic here. If he's different than most, which was clear up to this point by the way he'd been making endless advances right from the start and showing this unceasing insistence to stay close to him, so why was he treated like everybody else?

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Sun Mar 29, 2015 5:12 pm

Sharaku would flinch a little. Way to go about stating the obvious. That had originally been the point. He did not have an interest in letting people know him well. That was a general fact, and it applied to everyone, not just Shun anyway. It simply all got complicated with time. He had not been planning for this at all... nor did he really know how to deal with it. He wouldn't say anything at first. So he did do that...he had nothing to retort to that. If he stated that 'yes, you probably don't', it would just make this exchange worse than it already was.

He would frown at the next words, tapping his fingers against the nearest surface. ''You can't understand that. Some people would not understand your view. Besides, how do you know I am not? You just said you feel like you don't know me.'', he would sigh, looking at Shun flatly. ''You don't always give the impression that you're confortable, but I digress that. I'll ask you something, if I may.'', he'd follow up, his golden gaze set sharply on the younger. ''A while ago, you said you expected me to be a prince of sorts, and that such qualities were techincally what you originally sought after. Tell me then, if I, let's say hung around dressed like a homeless guy back then when we first met...would you have even spared me a glance? From the way you have put it, it appears to me that the initial reason you chased after me was because I seemed like a charming, rich guy, and that appealed to you.'', he would give Shun a cool smile. ''I am under the impression that if I always acted more like what I want to, and didn't bother, then we wouldn't even be sitting here. You wouldn't have cared to approach me if I hadn't fulfilled your standards at the beginning. Am I wrong?'' He severely doubted the teen would have made any move had he not appeared the way he had when they met that one time. After all, it seemed that Shun was most comfortable mingling with high class like he himself was.

''I'll have you know, I never made an effort to let people really know me at the beginning, and you aren't any special exception here. And I don't see me being myself very beneficial here, at this period of time, so excuse me for not really feeling enthusiastic about the idea. Why? From the moment things have gotten a little out of hand, which is not even the full picture, we barely do more than argue. I've lost count already. I totally feel comfortable like this, sure. I just don't see what good does it do me. I try, but I simply have the feeling that despite what you say, this isn't really what you want.'' He didn't really get why was the teen trying so hard, when it was obvious that it was just being painful for him. Was it really worth it...? What did Shun even really want out of this? He just didn't know. ''If it makes you feel better, I am not happy about this myself.'' His tone was somewhat bitter.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

...yes, Sharaku was right. Shunnosuke knew that; being almost completely elitist in tastes, they wouldn't have gotten close, Shun wouldn't have developed an evergrowing interest in getting close to Sharaku if the man's first impression wasn't suitable to his standards, fine. But that happened months ago. If all Shunnosuke truly cared was first impressions, status and appearance, then wouldn't he have given up on it way earlier, the moment he was told he was an experiment with shadows? The moment he said he doesn't have a job?

— But that was before...now it's different... — Or so he thought. There isn't much Shunnosuke could say here to defend himself; he never faced his high preferences as something that could be used against him, it wasn't a flaw. — You're right. That's not what I want... — He said after staying silent for a while, thoughtfully, with a somewhat sad look on his face. So...he wasn't a special exception...alright. It pains to listen to such things from someone you care deeply. It pains when that someone makes it clear it's an unilateral involvement. — ...You'll just stick to your beliefs and misconceptions no matter what, won't you? — Shunnosuke put the plate on his lap aside, on the couch's arms, and stood up, avoiding a visual contact with Sharaku. Though his sentence had a "last attempt" tone to it, he wouldn't really wait for an answer. — ...I guess it's about time I should go home to not make this even more awkward than it's already. Thank you for receiving me and...sorry for breaking your glass. — The teen stood up, finally, giving a last look to the surroundings. The furniture, the decoration...he liked it, but somehow he thought he'd never ever step in there anymore.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:08 pm

...The point wasn't really whether it was different now or not, but so be it. When it came to that particular fact, he hadn't been speaking about the present in the first place. ''I didn't claim that it can't be different now...'' Sharaku would just sigh with a shake of his head. Honestly, he didn't know. Sure, Shun kept saying that it did not really matter, but it was obvious that things have changed a lot since the teen's 'dream' kind of fell apart. It was rather far away from what it was in the beginning....though, he was mostly just confused, more than anything else. This wasn't going anywhere. Unless...

Well, there wasn't much of a choice. He didn't think it could really work as it was now. That much was certain. ''I already said I don't care about the glass.'', he would state as he stood up himself. ''And I'm not sure what you meant there. You asked me, I answered. Is it my fault that our opinions clash? I can believe what I choose to. Besides, the word misconception is a rather vague one. I didn't say my opinion cannot change, but simply stating that I'm sticking to something that you believe is wrong doesn't give me much to go on with.'', he would frown a little as he brushed away a few annoying strands of hair from his face. ''Nevertheless, that wasn't what I wanted to discuss right now. If you feel like going, fine, but I'd like to say something before you do.'' And hopefully, make some sense here. This wasn't going to be easy...but, frankly, it wasn't right now anyway...so, might as well.

He would wait a moment to let that sink in, though, he would take it even if Shun decided to not look back at him. ''I think that it's obvious that this is going in every direction except the one it should. Therefore, I've decided to propose something here.'' God, it felt weird to talk this way. Ahem, either way. ''The more we go back and forth about this, the more tangled it gets. I say we draw a line, and start over. You said you wanted to go out for Valentine's Day, yes? How about this. No more arguing about what is a right opinion and what isn't, at least for now. We'll go, and just try again from scratch. I'm willing to compromise here. I'll do my best to not play pretend, even though I can't guarantee 100%. It's not so easy to get rid of a habit.'', he'd do his best to explain, keeping a calm tone. ''We'll see what happens there, and decide then. Flailing at each other the way we do now isn't going to change anything.'' With that, he would walk over to the teen, holding out a hand. ''Is that acceptable?'' ...to be honest, he kind of sounded silly to himself, but this constant crossfire was only bringing headaches. And this was the best he could think of in a short amount of time. He'd have to do some thinking over this...but, it couldn't end worse than it was now, could it?

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Shun decided to keep silence on this. Sharaku clearly wouldn't understand how he felt and what he's trying to convey here. To him, it was never a matter of "opinion", classifying their disagreements as that alone reduces the importance of the issue...but well, he was emotionally drained after so many altercations. And though he wanted to leave, he at least waited for Sharaku to say his last piece. A hopeful curiosity gave him this chance, and made the teenager look back at him. — ...what now?

...and that's unexpected. He was anticipating a scolding, another speech, anything, but definitely not this. By now the teenager had completely forgotten the Valentine's Day. It was probably going to be another day where he'll throw a party in his own homage and hang out with his former friends whom he had little contact actually, except for social gatherings. And really, he accepted the idea of not spending the day with Sharaku anyway, as well as he was prideful enough to be skeptical about this. Past his initial surprise, his face was definitely not in the best mood here. He should be happy about it, about Sharaku thinking over it again...but Shunnosuke was too bitter by the older's previous statements and the feeling of being constantly underappreciated that he just...urgh. He took a deep breath and...: — ...alright. It's fair. — He glanced briefly to Sharaku's hand, uncertain whether he should take it or not, if he should be happy about it or... He got the voluntary good-will meaning behind it, nevertheless it isn't a mere gesture that'll make the teenager drop his just raised guard and made he feel less distressed up to this point. — Send me a message informing me at what time and place, and I'll be there. — Regardless, Shun accepted Sharaku's suggestion, what else could he lose from this? In the worst scenery, they'll just stop hanging out together and won't be close anymore. He accepted that possibility already.

Subject: Re: A Visit to Set Things Straight [Sharaku] Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:18 pm

''..........''

...Why did this have to feel like he was sheduling a business meeting, or a dentist visit with someone who probably couldn't care less? Sharaku was not liking this, but he would opt to not oppose this time around, and just bite his tongue. Despite the way this felt, he wasn't the one to go against his own words, and he did just say 'no more arguing'. Shun really knew how to shine when it wasn't needed. This really felt like simply going in circles. The teen claimed to not want to give up, threw a few positive sounding remarks here and there...okay, he noted that. But whenever he answered a question Shun had asked him, or simply said what was on his mind, the teen got upset about it...pretty much all the time he honestly said what he thought. As if he was meaning bad by it...and it was obvious Shun thought that way. But he didn't know what to do. So? He wasn't the type to cut back or sugarcoat his words...and he was willing to admit that he did wrong at times, but he wasn't making any sense out of this. What exactly was he doing wrong..? Should he blame himself for the fact that Shun felt bad about 90% of what he was saying? He did not mean to be rude, but he had little to no experience with being all nicey-dicey, which may be the thing making it worse.

Point here was, that when he actually went out of his way, and was being open to something, despite it being uncomfortable for him, the teen was still acting like the world was against him. End result was the same as the opposite situation, which Shun so blatantly pointed out lately. It did hurt, but the younger seemed to be too absorbed in his own wallowing most of the time to notice that he wasn't the only one getting hurt by these stupid exchanges. The difference was, that he responded by fighting back, and not really showing pain. He was done with whining about it. Unlike Shun who got visibly upset, and just ended up trying to find a way out after a short while. As much as the other kept repeating he liked him still...Shun simply struck him as a downer most of the time. Even moreso than himself, and he knew he has his bad moments occassionally. It was in moments like these that he wondered why he kept entertaining this over and over again. Shun perhaps thought he was doing him justice, but Sharaku wouldn't say he felt anything close to happy either. He wasn't doing this to entertain himself, contrary to what it may seem like.

''.............Fine.'' He honestly didn't trust himself to say more in this situation. Thanks for making him feel bad even about being nice. ''...So, you wanted to go, yes..?'', he would ask simply, as he brushed past the teen to walk over to the door. If that was the case, he would see Shun out, but not say anything else unless the younger addressed him first. He wasn't going to press forward when Shun gave him that flat attitude for trying. Not now. He had enough for today.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

"Wanted" is not truly the word here. It's more like he needed to leave to keep his mental sanity and what's left of his pride and self-respect. That and the way Sharaku rushed to the door kind of indicated to the teenager he wasn't welcome anymore. Of course the man wouldn't kick him out or state clearly for him to leave, but as they say, "a word to the wise is enough". Nothing he could really avert.

— Right... — Without saying anything further, he'd walk over to the door....stopping once he'd reach there, giving a last look to Sharaku. A silent, kind of regretful look. That visit was probably a big mistake, even if it seemed like they are set for a restart from now on.— Take care. — The student said in an aloof, cold manner before putting on his coat and making his way out, finally. The weather outside hasn't changed a bit and least he'd want now is to catch a cold after his stressful afternoon...

Exit. ~

Posts : 6498 Join date : 2013-07-06 Age : 29

Sharaku and Shunnosuke's relationship appears to be stuck in a rut...

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