Mission: A Concerned MOM (One Gob Army)

Azul flipped off Clare behind her back as she was leaving. 'Fuck you too, lady.' He thought to himself. He walked away from the rest of the group. Information was power, and if the paper had something especially nice on it...well. He took a look at it's contents once he was sure it was safe from prying eyes. Regardless, sharing with Grubby and Milton was a must. Teamwork made the...something...work or something like that.

Never been ported out like that b'fore. S'usually a POP an' then yer there, nothin' in between. But it worked I tell ya, we all made it out with the same number'a holes an' the same amount'a skin. Didn't get that big bastard but it can't be helped, we ain't gonna be able to take that undead centaur motherfucker as we is. Gonna need a lot more chutzpa fer that one. Hope that park's fuggen empty now, ain't nothin' there to stop it from rampagin' but I ain't regret the call I made. It was either everyone was fuggen ass up'er everyone with the exception'a us. Ya save who ya can there. Can't do no more'n that. Guardsman lost'is shit, can't fuggen blame'im there but I'm a gatdamn rogue an' we operate diff'rnt. I'll go home when I damn well wanna, I get shit to wrap up! This here job's more important than whatever the hells a buncha patrol mongrels got goin' on.


I pull my pipe out an' wave'em off, I walk a ways away with my crew'n the pink one an' tieflin'. Strike me a tinder twig an' start puffin' to ease my fuggen nerves. Gonna be damn sore in the mornin' I tell ya, gonna have some new scars too like I wasn't a walkin' shitpile in a sack made'a branded leather already. The cluckin' hens would hit the bricks an' I got somethin' to say cuz I'm old an' like to fuggen talk but I ain't gonna be hard on'em.
"Did what we was hired fer, no more, no less. Now ya understand how fuggen dangerous this shit right here is, ya wanna thank us proper ya ain't gonna try it again. Ya got fuggen children fer Azmodeus's sake, the hells were ya thinkin'? Go on, git outta here. An' stick together if'n yer goin' home, now ya know what's out here." I rub the small'a my back and push my hips out fer a stretch as I get together with the crew, next part's gonna be figurin' this here shit out. I chomp on my pipe'n face the group.

"Aright there, figurin' we should get the fuggon this 'fore the opportunity's gone. I bet y'all're tired'n so the fuggam I but let's get at that gravy while it's still on the table here. Gonna take thinkin', funds, an' more'n stronger people'n we got. I got an idea here, jus' here me out." I take a long drag off my pipe'n blow the smoke out through my bloody fuggen nose. Ain't my blood. Gonna skip my once a week rule an' hit the fuggen bath when I get back.
"So's I'll let you smart ones, boys, figure this shit out an' I'll take care'a the practicals. So's what'd'we got? We got somethin' with buttons on it with some of'em rubbed out from pressin', got that parchment there, an' I found me a knife'n a bag made'a skin. Now if'n I had'a guess I'd blame it on Lamashtu's fuggen cultists but I'm pretty damn stupid so I'll let y'all do the figurin'. Now here's what I got."

I roll my pipe from one part'a my mouth to the other, drawin' my satchel out to show it to the crew.
"Now see I'm almost empty. What I'm suggestin' everybody do here is go out'n earn some bread, get yer kit. Healin' potions worth their weight in fuggen gold they is an' we's gonna need'em. Gonna get me another one'a them teleportin' gems too, I'm daggum fresh out. Now we ain't nowhere near close to takin' this fucked up taxidermist down so it got me thinkin'. Ya mentioned someplace called the Under, Kuzi? Place filled with fuggen monsters? I says we go down there an' get you boys some combat 'xperience 'fore we tackle this big bad motherfucker. I need to scrape the rust off meself, missed more'n one'a my marks back there, caused me a fair bit'a trouble. What'd'ya say?"

Dungeon run'll be good fer these old bones, ain't had to fight so damn hard in a good while. Need to build up my stamina there, get fightin' fit. An' all the goodies I'm gonna snag ain't hurt none neither. Now if we ain't prepared, s'gonna hurt. S'gonna hurt so bad you'll be tellin' yer ancestors aaaaaall about it when one'a them things cleaves ya in fuggen half. But we can always fight smart, always be prepared. Gonna put another notch in my belt, can feel it in my lumbar.
"Oh yeah, Milton there. S'posin' ya might wanna talk to yer lady friend, see if she wants to lend a hand. Seems like the fightin' sort. Now I ain't gonna let nothin' happen to'er, ya have my word. Wouldn't be askin' otherwise."

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It hadn't lasted long, but in the split second his vision was obstructed by a piercing white light, a strong feeling of dread loomed over him. He wasn't sure what the visions meant, where the music was coming from, but it was eerie and disturbing all the same. Kuzi would practically face plant as they were suddenly somewhere else, he'd been trying to keep moving and stay out of harms way so the sudden change of footing underneath himself wasn't kind to him. Though he was confused and disorientated, the fluff would make sure to take a look around to see if everyone had been transported alongside him. Which fortunately they had. He'd breath a sigh of relief as he went to check up if everyone was okay one by one. Even if they hadn't won the battle, at least they accomplished their job and kept the MOMs safe... Honestly, that monster was clearly powerful. It was likely the right call to get the hell out whilst they could. The fluff just hoped it wouldn't cause any more trouble with anyone before they could deal with it properly.

Collecting Tabitha's contact info and wishing them all luck and to stay safe as they left. The Dreedle would follow the green man as he begun to explain his ideas of what should happen next. "It was probably a smart move getting us out of there, even if we could of defeated it now it would of been a rough battle and it was best to get the MOMs out of the way. Plus I don't know about the rest of you, but I was running low on supplies. So I agree! We should definitely try to stock up before attempting going face to face with that thing again, and a bit of training never hurt either." Kuzi would agree, nodding towards Grubby. "Ya huh, the Under is down below even the Slums. We'll have to get past Gate to enter... Though he should let us through if we're seekers and just say we want to help out clearing out some of the monsters that lurk down there. I'm sure he'd let me pass as I helped him out before. Cause there sure was a lot of them down there, way more than we ever came across on our travels. So I think it would make a good place to train up if we were still planning on working together for now. I'm in no real team of my own, so I'd be happy to help out you guys if you need me! I want to make sure that beast and any who want to terrorize Junction after it are taken down, so I'll probably end up doing some sort of training on my own regardless."