Two Years Later... [Sharaku]

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Thu Feb 11, 2016 6:13 pm

"Well, I guess... Different strokes for Different folks." The first person that came to mind for Mae was of course none other than Jack. Not saying that he loved danger by any means, but he seemed more... adamant about the prospect of fighting than anyone else she'd met on her journey two years ago. She noticed, however, that Sharaku seemed... to not like this subject, and neither did she really. It just so happened that Mae had tripped on the subject. "Hehe, Sure. I got you."

"It's mostly because of... well, my new job. I'm working at an orphanage. I guess I was just a little curious in how you handle kids, should you ever swing by. The door's always open, you know~" The woman said with a light wink of her left eye. Sure, going there might turn into a patience test like no other... but some of the kids there he would probably get along with, for the most part. Kayle, although a bit energetic at times, was really understanding and quite frankly, had her (although most likely not aknowledged by Kayle herself) moments of brilliance. Some of the words that came out of that little lass' mouth was... really inspiring at times. Perhaps the girl knew more about life than she let on.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Thu Feb 11, 2016 6:28 pm

''Different opinions. It's almost amusing how often that becomes an issue....'' Wasn't that right? It was even one of the biggest plays two years ago, with the Angels creating sides and whatnot. And some people actually chose to go that way and create warcamps. Frankly, he never understood why would people choose that kind of conflict over trying to solve it in a more peaceful manner. Violence was pointless in many cases. Not that it sometimes wasn't the only viable option, but it wasn't good to go for it right away when not necessary. ''Perfect.'' He wouldn't have been happy, was there a need to actually persuade her to drop it. Probably, he would just give in and talk about it for a while, but he wouldn't be a happy camper, really.

Hm? Well, that indeed came out of nowhere. The question made more sense now that he knew the reasoning behind it, but it was still odd that she brought up her job out of the blue. Then again, he hasn't been paying much attention to begin with, until she spoke up. He would make a slight sound. ''What is there for me in a place like that? I would probably scare some of them with my appearance. Kids are much easier to spook out.'' Not that he would go out of his way to try, but he knew that sometimes...it just happened. And the idea of kids running away from him was oddly unsettling. He hadn't even been in actual contact with any for...years. Aside from meeting Alphonse's little girl, but that was that. And he barely spoke with her anyway.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Fri Feb 12, 2016 8:12 am

"Yeah... But if we were all the same, the world would be pretty boring, don't you think?" Mae said with a light chuckle. "Dissagreements are just a necessary evil we have to cope with." Objectively speaking, of course. Sometimes it wasn't that easy. But in the end, there wasn't anything wrong with having differing opinions.

"Heh, I guess... But with time, they would get used to it, methinks." Indeed. While Sharaku perhaps wasn't the cuddliest person on the outside, he had a rather soft and nice inside, which he barely ever showed, for some reason. You never judge a book by it's cover. "I dunno what you would actually gain from it... besides maybe people liking you over the course of time." Yeah... In her opinion, Sharaku could use some affection from others. On her end, it hadn't worked out all that well, that she could admit, regretably so. Perhaps some day... Sharaku could find someone, regardless of who or what it was, that would give him that affection he needed...

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Fri Feb 12, 2016 8:27 am

''Generally speaking.'' Past a certain point, it would be boring, yes. But that wasn't necessarily what he was saying. Different opinions are okay. Certain ways of settling them are not. The results were often the problem, not the fact that people don't agree on everything there is. ''I don't really mean that, though. Having different opinions is natural. I just don't like when people choose extreme ways of settling them. Violence and the like. And yet, it happens far too often.'' He didn't mind having a talk about such matters. But when people tried to pull some crap, then he did have a problem.

Hm. And then what? ''Perhaps, but do the kids need that kind of thing? Considering what your job is, I'm sure they have plenty caretakers or people that help them out as is.'' Or so he would assume. She probably wasn't the only person working there, or helping out. He would huff lightly. Perhaps he had a slight problem equating people and kids. It was just different to hang out with an adult than a kid. Sure, kids liking him was one thing, but would it matter anywhere else? ''More people as in? Kids are a different category than the people I deal with on normal days. I can play with kids and be a clown, but that changes nothing in general.'' Unless a great deal of luck was involved, and someone took interest based on that. But eh, even if he thought of such things, he wouldn't say he believed there was a high chance of them really happening.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:52 pm

"Oh, that's what you meant? Ah. Well, yeah. I'm not a paticularly large fan of violence either..." She only had to raise her and against another person once... It was with much regret that she had stopped Rin from attacking Angela. In the end, Angela told Mae that she had done the right thing. She knew that, and yet... it hurt that Mae herself knowingly attacked one of her friends like that. Even now, a bit of doubt rested within the woman's heart whether she had really done the right thing...

"I dunno about the kids... but maybe you need it?" Mae proposed with a light chuckle. "You could use some happiness and affection in your life." This was very true. Not that she was telling him how to live his life... she just gave him her two cents on the subject. "More people as in... more people you are comfortable being around. That you can confide in... or that you just like all around." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It just saddens me... that people won't see you for who you are if you don't actively try to reach out yourself..."

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Fri Feb 12, 2016 6:19 pm

''I'm willing to fight if I must. I find that people tend to be a little too hasty in their decisions sometimes, though.'' A lot of useless fights and conflicts could be avoided if people just stepped back and reflected on things a little before jumping into the fray. Time goes on, but a lot of things can affor to wait a short while. Unless you start thinking about it way too late. In which case it's partially your own fault for putting it off in the first place.

He would look to the side awkwardly. This was in part why he generally avoided doing things like these. When it came down to it, he would probably care more about the kids than himself. Which didn't seem to be the goal Mae was after here. But that's just how he was. It didn't always show the best when in regards to other people, due to a lot of things, the whole mess two years ago being one of the issues. But kids were a slightly different story. ''I...don't know. It's not that easy...'' Was it ever? As for the other thing...it was just complicated. Being there would mean being around her. Thus, a high chance he would bump into other people he knew two years ago. It's hard to change people's opinions about you after they've already formed some. It would probably be more of a struggle than anything else, and he didn't take to people prodding him very well. He would sigh. ''I feel like it's too late to really matter with most people. I've already met a lot of people around here in the past, and I'm sure you know people don't change their impressions and opinions easily. And I don't enjoy being under scrutiny too much, like some interesting object because I start acting differently or anything along those lines. There are so many people I've been acquainted with already, and a high chance I'll run into them fairly often. I can hardly be myself around them at this point, and it would make meeting new people worse, as knowing my luck, I will be forced to also share space with someone I know. I feel like I'm at least saving myself the stress by not trying much.'', he would shrug, his tone a bit blank. He didn't really enjoy putting it this way, but he had to explain.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Sat Feb 13, 2016 7:45 am

"Of course, if it's necessary, I'll fight. I'd like to avoid confrontations whenever possible though. I'm not exactly a big fan of fighting." Not to say that she wasn't confident in her capabilities on the Battlefield. She had survived this long, no? That had to count for something...

"Well, if you're not gonna give it a try, nothing will change, now will it?" Mae raised an Eyebrow. "It's not easy, I know that much. But if you really want it enough... why shouldn't you give it a try anyway?" She would give Sharaku an encouraging look. She would then listen to what he had to say. "Well... I know that people won't change their opinions about you quickly." She looked at him with a troubled frown. "Why can't you be yourself around them anymore...?" She asked him carefully. Regardless of what answer he'd give, She would look down on the ground afterwards, kicking a bit of the sand with her left foot. "Um..." She knew what she wanted to say, but formulating the sentence proved a bit more difficult than she first anticipated. "...You could try to be yourself around me... That's a start, at least." Well... She learned something new about him today, that's for sure... He was afraid to be himself around others.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Sat Feb 13, 2016 10:50 am

''I suppose we can agree on that.'' As much as fighting meant some action, it was not really all that enjoyable once you considered the possible consequences of engaging in such. And injuries hurt, on top of all that. Not even verbal fights were really painless.

....hm? Maybe she was taking him at face value a bit too much there. Yes, it wasn't easy, and he meant it when he said so. Still, that didn't have to equate to him not wanting or being willing to do it. He wasn't particularly scared of difficulty. He was simply saying what is. ''I never said I wouldn't do it. I'm simply theorizing, if you want to call it something. It's not easy, no, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically saying I won't do it.'' At most, it meant that he wasn't very likely to jump into it for no reason at all. He wouldn't literally seek it, but he wouldn't back down if he found himself face to face with such a scenario.

He would give her a contemplative look, almost as if he was trying to stare through her. Which was kind of physically impossible. ''Because it's awkward. And maybe because I know. Most people aren't all that hard to read. I can usually tell enough to know how they would react to certain matters. All it takes is a bit of observing. When it's obvious enough that it wouldn't work well, why would I? Then there are those people I just don't even want to tell. You don't tell secrets to people you aren't completely faithful in, right? It's a similar principle.'' There were many reasons, perhaps slightly different with each person he knew. Perhaps it was a curse in its own way, but he was usually capable of reading others better than he could read himself. How amusing, really. Of course, when he actually honestly tried, that is.

''Hm...'' It still wasn't easy to tell what exactly he thought of her proposition and all, but he wouldn't stay still this time around. Walking closer to stand next to her, he would put a hand on her shoulder. ''I understand what you're trying to do. Relax up though. There's no need to push things forward, is there? If it's meant to happen, it will, but probably not because you try too hard to seem welcoming. I can tell without you saying it, most of the time.'' He wasn't blind. Besides, he didn't want it to end similar to how it had before. With her trying to be the nicest ever to everyone like that. Not that he liked being rude to people and whatnot, but sometimes you just have to take that step so that people understand they can't stomp all over your kindness.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Sat Feb 13, 2016 11:20 am

Mae only nodded in response to Sharaku. Yeah... Why would one even find fighting fun anyway? Sure, sparring could be a bit enjoyable, since your life wasn't at stake, but... actual fighting... No, that wasn't fun in the slightest. It was stressful...

"Ah, I see." She replied with a light nod. That made... a bit more sense than what she had assumed at first. At least she was learning. "Well, I wish you good luck with that then. I hope it works out for you." A warm smile made it's way across Mae's face.

What he was saying made sense, to a degree. Awkwardness was usually a problem when it came to social situations, to say the least. Feeling uncomfortable with how people would react to the "real deal", as it were was a good enough explanation in her book. "Alright... As long as you're happy in the end, that's good enough for me... I just wish you to be happy, that's all." She said with a shy smile. And it was true too. Seeing Sharaku smiling genuinely was a rare sight... A sight which she would like to see more often. Perhaps one day...

Two Years Later... [Sharaku] - Page 3 E984ec28fa0ce9e958679d51974d5fef2a673d61_large

"I guess not, huh..."

She stood there silently for a moment, not moving one inch. She didn't even bother with pushing away his hand after a while. She wanted to understand him better. It would take a while perhaps, but she would be more subtle about it from now on. "I Just... want to understand you better..." She whispered softly after a couple of minutes of silence, as she looked down on her pink boots.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Sat Feb 13, 2016 12:19 pm

He would furrow his brows slightly. He was getting lost. What exactly was she wishing him good luck on? He though the original talk was about the kids and whatnot. Not that he was specifically trying to get something done. Unless he was having some memory loss already. Still, he was kind of confused as to what she was refering to...at all. ''Um, okay? Good luck on what though?'' He had to ask, because he didn't know what exactly would he be answering to had he chosen to say something on point.

''Why?'', he would ask simply, after a bit of thought. She kept putting that out quite often, just in different words each time. So why? She had wanted to know why he did not tell people, so might as well ask back. Why was she so intent on trying to make sure he was happy? Sometimes, that insistence alone could make it uncomfortable on its own. He just felt odd with those kinds of intentions directed at him almost non-stop. Almost like something invisible always poking at you, and you can't even explain what it is. He could probably understand better were they really close, but it's not like they even met extra often. They each had their own lives, basically. It wasn't that he was against a certain level of caring, but beyond it, it could feel overdone in some situations. Or maybe he just had a relatively low tolerance for it at times.

He would sigh faintly at her reaction. Not really what he was after. Sometimes she could be so....eh, he didn't even have a word for it at the moment. Nevertheless, it's not like she was making it any easier. He'd move his hand to flick her cheek lightly, making sure to not scratch her with his claws. ''Why do you get discouraged so easily? I don't mean to sound offending, but you give the impression that you're just trying to cling onto some hope, rather than anything else. Don't you have the courage to stand up for things?'' No, he did not like pushy people, but he did prefer that people showed some confidence at least. Not being extra mellow, just because he said he was more keen on something else than they originally proposed. He was willing to adapt, but the person had to be clear with their wants, not just dance around the moment he didn't take the bait right away. In a way, it was a sort of balance, if one wanted to name what he was looking for. Know when to back off, but also be aware that you do need to keep a firmer stand at times as well. Because in all honesty, he could just fool around with her easily if that was how she would act. He was perfectly capable of being manipulative, albeit it wasn't really in his nature to do so.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:58 pm

"I guess just with people in general?" Mae said with a light chuckle. "Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I even said it, haha." Oh, geez. What was he going to think of this...?

"Why?" Mae raised an eyebrow. "I think you've seen a bit too much... depressing things in your life, I guess. Everyone could use some happiness in one form or another." Well, not the true reason behind it, but... no use in beating a dead horse, so she made up a new one.

"Oh no! You didn't offend me! Not at all!" She waved her hands with an apologetic look on her face. "And I don't think it's... discouragement, really. I guess I'm just a bit... dissapointed in my own inability to satisfy my curiousity, if that makes any sense..." She replied, scratching the back of her neck. "Don't get me wrong here. I'm not depressed or anything. It's just that... I've known you for a long time now, yet I almost know nothing about you... I guess that's a bit discouraging in a way? It feels like I've failed, in a sense, you know?"

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:08 pm

''Perhaps your mind is trying to tell you something.'' He was honestly just pulling that one out of nowhere though. There was most likely no use in trying to interpret why she said it for real. And this allowed him to pass over the issue itself. He didn't think it was really a matter of luck when it came to getting along with people. He was actually very much capable of staying on people's good terms when he chose to do so. The issue was doing that, and actually having a sense of mutual understanding, rather than just some sort of 'sailing along'. Bumps could easily form the moment a disagreement arose afterall. Or anything, really.

Hmm. He would look at her, almost as if analyzing her intently. She wasn't necessarily wrong, but...''That so....'' He had seen many things that were not nice, yes. He'd admit to that. As for happiness being a concern...''Do you have any idea what it is that makes me happy?'' A little unusual of him to ask such a question. But he was interested. For despite her implications of happiness 'in one form or another', she did seem to be keen on suggesting specific methods a lot, just like the whole kids idea and whatnot. He wanted to know what she believed he was after.

Ehm? Sharaku would almost jump, actually backing away a step, even though it wouldn't be much. Err, was she trying to give him a heart attack with that sudden hand gesturing and exclamations? To be honest, right now he probably had the 'What did I do to deserve this?' kind of expression. He did not appreciate jumpscares and very gregarious outbursts like this very much. She needn't get so overly animated, had she? Perhaps he should have worded what he had said a bit differently? Because he did not mean to make her apologize to begin with. It was just a figure of speech to be sure he accidentaly didn't offend her. Apparently, he accidentaly brought a different not exactly desirable reaction upon himself instead. Er, oops? The irony. ''Ahm, okay....'', he would just affirm, almost as if defeated, albeit he did his best to not show that. Yeah, he could have pointed out how she almost floored him with her sudden need to expressively clarify, but he absolutely did not wish for a loop of apologies to happen. Thus, time to retreat here.

He would hum slightly. ''Are the two not connected? You end up unable to satisfy your curiosity because you do not express enough courage to keep going forward when you could do so in some way, thus you miss out on things, and just feel dissapointed in turn.'', he would give her a faint smile, shifting in his spot a bit. He better not get carried away with that. ''This is who I am. Don't beat yourself up for something that is not your fault. I am not an open book, and probably will never be. Keep your head held high. Do I look like I'm doing really bad or something simply because you don't know me all that well yet? Perhaps just try to look at the bright side. The things that you do know, rather than focusing on all that you do not for now.'' And the thing that he probably wouldn't tell her. That throwing it into his eyes how you want to know and whatnot very frequently is also likely to make him back off simply due to the intensity. He was often uncomfortable in the position of spotlight and the like, and the constant try-hard from around him was very adept at feeling that way. He prefered a slow and steady pace...just let things happen, at best make small attempts. But don't get close to being nagging about it. He knew the things he was being told already. Didn't mean he liked feeling pressured to let up simply because people thought it was what he should do, and what was best.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Tue Feb 16, 2016 8:06 am

"Hehe, Perhaps so." Mae said with a light chuckle. It wasn't very likely, but... maybe he was right? There was always the potential there. Being the man of very few words, Sharaku never really spoke needlessly.

"Yeah... From all the experiments, being on the run, and all that... I'm not trying to give you pity over all that... but still. One should never have to go through what you have." To Mae, all that sounded pretty horrible. And she doubted Sharaku would ever wish such a fate on anyone. Not even the biggest asshole on the planet earth would be bad enough to go through such atrocities. "I dunno... Suprisingly. I mean, back when you got me that gift, you seemed pretty happy, all things considered. But I dunno how true that is. It's been two years since then, after all." As fresh as her memories still were from then, the girl didn't really have a clue what made him happy. She could guess all she wanted, but any of her guesses would probably not even be close to what made him happy. "...I guess... Acceptance? Maybe?" She threw out haphazardly. She had to give him some form of answer, after all. It would just be rude to leave the guy hanging.

"Oh, sorry... Did I startle you?" Mae asked with an apologetic look on her face. That hadn't been her intention. Far from it, actually. Being quite the expressive person, that was just how Mae was, always a bit animated when it came to things like this, in contrast to the calm and composed Sharaku. Indeed, they had their differences, yet... they actually got along, sort of. An odd duo, that's for sure.

"Hm..." What he said did make a lot of sense. It usually turned out like this for her when she felt rejected somewhat, ending up in a vicious cycle that wouldn't necessarily end without some external help or willpower from Mae herself. She looked up when Sharaku spoke up a bit... Telling her it wasn't her fault to begin with... that it was just how he was as a person. Again, he taught her something new... "Mhm... Yeah." She nodded in response once he was finished. Changing like that would take it's time, but for now... she would remain patient. No need to rush things... "That's one thing I've always admired about you, Sharaku... You know yourself and what you want with your life fairly well compared to me... The insights you provide have always been helpful to me, in one way, shape or form." She looked up to him, that was certain. One of these days, she would be standing on his level... a time where she could clearly point at herself and say "This is who I am..."

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Tue Feb 16, 2016 9:48 am

He would hum slightly. ''Perhaps. But I'd like to think that the opposite is not that great anyway. Living your life being pampered by your parents and whatnot only means you don't get to see how the real world works until it hits you in the face one day. It's not really about playing around in most cases. Life isn't very easy for anyone, unless they are the luckiest person on Earth.'' Maybe he did have it worse than most, but at least he could say he wouldn't be easily surprised by the horrible things humanity can do anymore? Or something along those lines. Completely easy life would probably be a touch boring as well.

He would scratch at his cheek in thought. Back then...he wasn't sure how exactly he felt. It probably wasn't happiness exactly. He had been in a fairly positive mood, yes, but it wasn't that. Nevertheless, he couldn't say for sure. Recalling old feelings like that wasn't easy, nor accurate anymore. ''Well...you were happy I got you something, yes? I think it was that I was just being moreso influenced by your own mood for that day. I'm not sure anymore though. It's been long ago.'' It was certainly possible. He did sometimes do that, and it even made it easier to blend in at times. Albeit, in other cases, he was completely out there. Maybe it depended on the amount of stress he was dealing with at the time. ''...kind of? You're neither right nor wrong. It is a part of the whole picture, but acceptance alone may not make a cut. It comes down to the delivery though.'' It was a little complicated. It was about the whole picture, not the little puzzle pieces in the end, even though all of them were equally important, of course.

He would shake his head. ''You just almost gave me a heart attack. Nevermind it though. I don't want you to keep apologizing over and over for something.'' Perhaps it would work if he stated it clearly, since she would keep apologizing whether he stayed silent or not, as long as he did not put a stop to it. It's not like he was going to die right now. He just hadn't expected such a sudden outburst. Handling animated explaining was acceptable, it's just that this came out of the blue, and he had even been standing close to her at that moment, which made it more pronounced. At her words towards his small speech, he would actually laugh a little. ''I'm not sure I would say so. I'm just good with words most of the time. I can make insights about other people and use them well, yes, but I usually don't know myself as well as it may appear from my actions. You're certainly doing more with your life than I am.'' Afterall, she had a job and whatnot. He was mostly a wanderer at this point. He didn't put a lot of focus towards anything specific. Sure, when he was needed, he would put forth the necessary effort, but often it had to be a prompt of sorts, rather than him moving in a direction on his own without something motivating him to do so. He would give her a half-hearted smile. ''I'm better at figuring things out for others, rather than myself. When I was younger, at one point I wanted to be a psychologist. I think that says a lot about how I approach matters at times.'' Of course, that had been long ago. Before everything went to hell with his life. Still, there was a reason why he wanted that. He always spent more time trying to figure out other people than anything else. When he reached a conclusion, he knew what to say, but it didn't necessarily mean it was a truthful representation of himself, for he was saying it for the benefit of who he was speaking with first and foremost.

Subject: Re: Two Years Later... [Sharaku] Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:42 am

"Well, extremes of any variety aren't exactly good, now are they?" Mae replied with a light chuckle. Indeed, extremes were never really good for anyone. Having a healthy dose of both good and bad things in ones life made the good just better, in a way, as the bad puts the good things into perspective, and makes one appreciate them more.

"Indeed it was..." Mae said with a shy smile on her face. Just the thought of what had transpired back then made her happy... although things didn't exactly end up the way either of them had hoped but... that plush had certainly been a good gift to give her. It had a lot of sentimental value to her now, and being one of her most prized possessions, along with the Ranger Mask and the Star Pin she had gotten from Charles. Those items meant a lot to her, and one that didn't know their significance to the girl would probably shrug them off as odd toys, or something. Certainly odd for a woman of her age to have. But she treasured them nontheless.

"I didn't expect to be right in the slightest, hehe." Well, at least she was sort of on the right track? If that even meant anything in the long run. To be fair, looking for acceptance is a process everyone goes through at one point in their life.

"Haha, I'll keep that in mind for next time then. I'll be more careful in the future." Of course, he over exaggerated a little bit... He was a bit too young for a heart attack, but of course, she'd keep that in mind around him next time. "Oh? Ehehe... I dunno about that. Sure, I have a job and whatnot but... I dunno if I'm doing more with my life than you are." She replied with a modest smile. Mae was never one to gloat about her achievements at all. In fact, she often sold herself short of what she had really accomplished in life, which Sharaku may have noticed at this point. Not necessarily a lack of confidence or anything... She just doesn't like to think that she's better than anyone else.

"Yeah... You do have a very special way with people. You even read me like an open book. It's quite impressive, really." Mae replied, returning the smile with one of her own, warm and pleasant to the eye. A Psychologist, eh? Well, that didn't seem too farfetched for a man like Sharaku. It gave her a little bit more insight when it came to Sharaku's childhood.

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