Sometimes, You Just Need To Take A Step Back (NPC Thread For Grubby)

There was seemingly no sound, no movement, no anything happening within the Splicer Shop at the time Grubby happened upon it. The door would be found unlocked and the sign read open, yet seemingly nothing of note was going on inside as of yet. Was anyone here at all? Was the shop left open by accident? Or had the owner simply stepped out quickly for one reason or another. Any number of possibilities could be the reality, though it was clear to see it was awfully quiet within the main section of the shop. There was a waiting area on the left with some random newspapers left for those that were waiting, a vending machine of some sorts on the right and at the far end of the shop a counter with no one behind. Yet if one took a close enough look, they would notice the door beside the counter slightly ajar, with a steady stream of blue light emanating through the cracks.

This the place aright. Pretty damn sure. Not like I'm gonna fuggen know're nothin', can't read the damn sign. Had to hear through the grapevine where this place was an' they look like they's open. Hopin' I got the right place here I fuggen am, walked into two're three other places an' they tol' me to stick it where the sun don't shine. But the door's open. That's somethin'. I open're up an' step inside.

S'quiet in here. I don't like that a damn bit. The quiet's only good when yer the one enforcin' it, there's always somethin' makin' some kinda noise. The wind through the thistles, runnin' water, creakin' boards. Quiet ain't never good. Gonna be honest with ya I'm on my damn toes from last time, can't always be countin' on the Warlock to bail my green ass out. Figure I got a luck debt there, s'gonna catch up to me one way're another an' I'm wantin' it to be stubbin' my damn toe on a coffee table an' not gettin' my throat opened wide.

I wait around fer a bit, don't hear nothin' still. Now it's against me to make some damn noise but I figure we's out here in the civilized world, it's the good thing to do. People ain't like it when a goblin sneaks up on'em. 'Sides, I got the advantage where I'm at if it gets down to swingin' iron. Got my back to the wall an' my eyes where everyone can show up from. See a light comin' through one'a the doors to the left over there... light usually means people. Them wizardin' types is also pretty goddamn busy smoochin' them books with they're heads so close're makin' potions'n whatnot, figure if'n anyone's here they're behind that door there.

Ah fuggit. Might as well give'em a holler.
"Oi! Lookin' fer a feller name'a Dime. This where I can find'im?" I call out. But I ain't stupid, just fuggen dumb. I got my hand hoverin' over my dagger at my side there just in case shit rolls downhill. Gatdamn spooky mages.

Weakness:

Impact:

Despite his calls, Grubby would hear no response come from behind the ajar door. Or at least, not at first. And not a verbal response either for that matter. The blue glow that was escaping the seams of the door seemed to become brighter, flashing for a moment before dying back down again to almost no light at all. Though the flickers of light never went out completely, they didn't seem to raise back up again for some time. And when they did, a sound of shattering glass echoed throughout the whole shop, followed by a low startled gasp as the light beckoned once more.

Looks like this ain't the place. Even if it is ya'd think there'd be no one fuggen here at all but I know better. Ya got that blue glow comin' through the door there. Light means someone's home it does. Ya ain't leave yer candles burnin' if'n yer gone now do ya? So's I wait around fer a bit when I hear glass breakin'. Pull my dagger faster'n you wouldn't believe, got my eyes on the winders ready to put it in some jagoff what don't know who he's fuggen with. But it ain't the winders. Came from the room. Now I seen this before, it ain't nothin' special. Alchemist doin' alchemy, the break shit, they glow, an' theys more clueless than the fuggen wizards are. I slip my dagger back in its sheath. No situational awareness I tells ya, coulda robbed the place blind by now if I wanted to.

I start walkin' to the door there. Gonna have to knock'im outta whatever he's doin' I betcha. Ain't worth bein' sneaky about it. I push the door open there. Gotta get my damn shit looked at.

The door would creak unnervingly as Grubby pushed it open. The room he'd find behind it was a lot larger than he probably expected, being almost twice as wide as the actual main part of the shop. There were many different tables, each littered with books, papers, diagrams, viles of liquid that could barely be discerned from one another. The walls were laced with even more bookshelves yet as far as the goblin would be able to see, there was basically no order to the madness of how everything was laid out in the room. It almost looked like the place had been recently ransacked by some thief looking for something in particular with very little luck. Even the floors were littered with random tat here and there, including the smashed glass Grubby had heard before lying in the far end of the room dead ahead of the door.

The inside of the room was eerily dark aside from the blue glow that could be seen comming from behind a separate door entirely off to the left that was firmly shut. The light simply passing through a glass segment of the door. Whatever was behind that door was creating the now pulsating blue aura that filled the room. From an initial perspective, there was no further sounds that could be heard anywhere in the cluttered lab.

That was... Until the sudden sound of another glass shattering on the floor rang through Grubby's ears. From the direction the ear ringing smash came from would be sitting a tiny orange creature, who's very being seemed to bubble and fizz lightly where it sat. The being was no taller than one of the glasses themselves and it looked extremely proud of itself as it began to push another glass off the counter.

S'big room there. Figured an alchemist'd be lockin' hisself in a cupboard huffin' his own fumes like most of'em I seen but he sure filled it good. Got a whoooooooole lotta gobblety gook an' mumbo jumbo here. I ain't really surprised. He's a fuggen alchemist, this shit here's pretty gatdamn standard. Messy motherfuckers. Now I'm a fuggen goblin an' I stink to the high planes but at least my fuggen shop's got everythin' in its place now. What's concernin' me 's someone's even fuggen sloppier than Hilderbrandt there, didn't even think that shit was possible. Mages I tells ya. I take a good look around, I know there ain't no traps here, can't be blowin' up a quarter'a the damn town just cuz ya don't want looky loos. I see meself where the light was comin' from, got another door to the left a me. 'Least I know I got me the right guy, no one but an alchemist'd fuggen work here. Certainly not a damn rogue.

I start walkin' up toward the door til I hear glass breakin' again. Now I spin 'round faster'n you wouldn't believe, got an arrow in my crossbow an' I'm ready to give somethin' the headache of a fuggen short ass lifetime as I peel my eyes fer whatever it was did that. I get a closer look...


...s'a fuggen pixie. Well ain't that damn swell. Troublemakers the lot of'em. Or ain't it a brownie? Eeeh, I never was good at tellin' apart the fey, all's I know is they're skeeters that like to make a 'lil havoc and they taste like fuggen chicken. Speakin' from experience here. I take my arrow outta my crossbow an' put it back in my gauntlet. I ain't gonna shoot a damn pixie. Too fuggen hard to hit, ya gotta swat'em with yer belt ya do. But I ain't doin' that neither til it messes with me, this ain't my house an' I ain't gonna be disrespectful. Wouldn't want some jagoff comin' into my shop an' shootin' my rats fer me. ...come to think it yeah, they can fuggen do that but I ain't gonna be killin' no familiars til they gimme a reason.

I march up to the door with the glowin' blue there and I pound my fist on it real loud.
"Oi!" I shout through it, "Yer fuggen pixie's breakin' all yer shit! Maybe ya wanna do somethin' about it!" Now I ain't a fuggen asshole, not just gonna let this keep goin' on without him knowin'. But it ain't my fuggen problem if'n he can't control his magical bullshit, s'fuggen askin' fer it by keepin' pixies. Them's some evil sumsabitches I tells ya.

As if reacting to his pounds on the door, the blue light behind the door would instantly dim. There was a moment of silence as the room Grubby stood in was now almost in complete darkness without the blue glow spreading through it. However, the goblin would eventually hear the sounds of rushing feet, followed by a slam of metal, a draping of cloth and a nervous cough before the door opened. "Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. Have I been keeping you long? Haha, sometimes my work really does get the better of me. Completely lost in a trance back there." Dime would give a weak smile towards to goblin as he stepped out from the side room and closed the door behind him, flicking a switch on the wall allowing the room they were in to flood with light. "Terribly sorry, but what were you saying before? My old ears aren't like what they used to be."

If Grubby was to look back over towards where he'd seen the 'pixie' before, he'd simply spot the last glass it was pushing still sitting there. However now filled with a strange orange substance.

Now ain't that make a whole lotta sense? Jagoff back there was too busy mixin' potions he forgot the world fuggen exists. Fuggen alchemists I tell ya, accidents waitin' to happen. Wouldn't notice if a fuggen Tarrasque stomped half their labs to bits if'n it was the half they weren't workin' on. Now I'm gonna admit here the dark ain't comfortable fer me like it is fer other rogues. Keeps me on my toes there, like a fuggen jungle cat. Can't ever be assumin' yer safe in the dark, ain't no tellin' who's got darkvision. Got my fingers twitchin' but he comes out just fine.
"Naw you ain't gotta hurry fer an old man, I'm a patient ol' bastard," I says, "Yer just about th'same from every other alchemist I met, lost in a fuggen bottle. An' not in the escapin' yer wife kinda way, kehehehehuurk...!" Damn, gotta quit the pipe one'a these days, thought somethin'd kill me first. This ain't no way to go I tell ya. This fella Dime ain't like none'a the other alchemists I seen, though. I ain't never seen no gnoll alchemist, didn't think they had the brains fer it. Most of'em'd rather rip yer throat out than sell ya cough syrup, s'about as hard to think of as a fuggen elf barbarian or a competent gnome. Well I always been told I'm fuggen stupid as a gnoll so I'm guessin' I been told wrong, I'm even fuggen dumber'n that! Keheheheh-*aCK!* ...Fuggen shit...

"Good thing ya came out when ya did, else yer fuggen pixie was gonna wreck yer whole damn-" I go to point at the 'lil motherfucker an' it ain't there no more. Just had to be fuggen pixies, didn't it?


Yep, saw what I was lookin' fer there. Gatdamn thing turned to goo on me. It ain't take a genius to figure out where in the Nine Hells it went an' I sure as shit ain't one'a them. Fuggen feywild gnats is what they is, ain't good fer nothin' but an itchy pain in the ass. If'n I get lucky one'a these days and get my hands on a Ring'a Wish that's the first thing that's fuggen goin'. A put my fist to my mouth an' clear my throat a bit.
"*HrrRRRM* ...was sayin' uh, ya should really put a lid on that glass there. Be a damn shame if anyone knocked it over'n spilled it, don't know what's fuggen in it." Ya think ya won here, pixie? I fuggen eat 'lil shits like you like bar peanuts. Not sure if he'd believe me if I told'im, damn flutterin' 'lil bastards are tricky.
"But I got business fer ya if'n ya ain't too busy. Got some reeeaaaal interestin' shit right here."

"An alchemist, you say?" The man would let out a short chuckle and turn his head to look over his shoulder towards the room he'd just exited. He hadn't heard that term be used to describe him in a while, though honestly it wasn't entirely false. Even if it didn't cover the full scope of everything he did. "I suppose that is one way of explaining parts of my work. Must admit, it's a fun part of the job." Dime would continue, rubbing his eyes lightly after doing so. There was something about the way he was talking and even the way he was holding himself to stand up that just screamed he hadn't had a good nights rest in a long, long time.

However, the canine scientist would look over towards the direction the Goblin had pointed out, at first a little confused at the mention of pixies. Granted, it wasn't completely impossible that there was a pixie lose in here, stranger things had happened. Though it was still something he wouldn't of expected. Yet when he noticed the smashed glass on the ground alongside the orange liquid in the remaining cup, he'd sigh and begin making his way over towards the counter. Trying his hardest not to step on any broken glass.

"Ah, no. I know what's caused all this. It wasn't quite something like a pixie, though that is a close enough assumption I suppose. The creature you saw was one of my very first experiments when first dabbling into the art of Splicing. Back when I was so dedicated to realise the true potential of the procedure, to push it to its furthest limits to see what was and wasn't possible." Dime would explain, leaning over and lightly tapping the side of the cup. The oddly constructed creature slowly reemerging itself to stare up at the blue man. "This is the Celled One. She was originally an amoeba. A single celled bacterium capable of altering its own shape, I wondered back then if there was a way to even splice something so simple as this into something with a true form and consciousness. It worked to an extent." There was a clear sense of pride to his tone as he spoke about his work, up until his final line that became more one of regret.

However, enough about himself. Dime would place the Celled One back into a clear container whereby it had its own little house designed specifically for its needs before turning back to the Goblin in the room. "Enough about me though, you say you need something looked at? If I cannot shed some light onto it for now I could always do further research later if it is truly a mystery. What is it you have to show me, Mr. ...?" With a simple motion of his hand, he'd gesture for the other to continue.

Looks like I got the right guy here fer fuggen once. Pain in the ass to track'im down. Maybe I can get somethin' done now without getting' hassled. Seems like a reasonable enough gnoll there, s'fuggen weird as that is to say. Still can't believe gnolls can be alchemists, what a fuggen world we live in here.


Speakin' a which looks like the pixie belong to'im. Figures. Alchemists always got the weird shit, even more'n wizards do, but all'a them magic motherfuckers are weird t'me. I'm a simple gob, I like the simple things, ain't nothin' gotta be more interestin' than a keep raid to get my mouth waterin'. Don't need none'a this interdimensional bullshit. I'm still fuggen happy as a clam they got ale here else I'd be losin' my damn mind. But I'm guessin' it ain't no pixie, s'a fuggen... familiar? It ain't a golem, golems is diff'rnt. Ain't no abomination, ya meld together people fer those. ...aw I ain't no good at this sorcery bullshit, ain't none'a my business anyhow.
"That anythin' like a slime? Looks like an ochre jelly to me, 'cept it's a pixie 'stead a marmalade that wants ta eat ya. Ain't never seen one take a shape b'fore, 'least not the normal way. Saw a guy try to drink a slime once cuz he thought he was tough enough to do it. He weren't. Scariest fuggen thing I ever did see, ya got somebody kickin' around on the ground there while it turned his ass to porridge from the inside. Stood up an' it weren't him any more, he got slime oozin' outta all his holes kinda... rollin' at us while the slime tried to move 'round wearin' man skin. Don't rightly know why anyone'd try to make a smart one."

I ain't even kiddin', nearly shit myself back when that happened. Might'a been just 20 there. Case yer wonderin' it was a fuggen barbarian what drank it. Stupid jagoff. Reminds me'a what I came her for though.
"Speakin' a ooze drippin' outta holes, got this thing right here fer ya..." I says, raisin' a finger an' diggin' in my pouch. I take out a 'lil box. Put it in there since I didn't want it muckin' around but it's still got the goo on it. I open the box an' show it to the guy.
"Found this here saphire after killin' a monster, found it in its guts. Now the saphire's a fuggen saphire but I'm worried 'bout what's coverin' it. Y'see that black sludge? The monster was bleedin' it, I seen other monsters bleed it, an' every where I go where shit's gone to hell there's this black goopy shit. I'm thinkin' it's concetrated evil but I ain't sure where it comes from're how ya get it. Wouldn't get it on yer hands if I was you." I think a bit. This motherfucker's tired, he ain't wanna deal with my old ass. Thinkin' I should sweeten the deal a bit.
"Y'ain't gotta get to it right away, just in the next couple or so. Be willin' to make a trade with ya fer doin' the smart work if'n ya can tell me everythin' about that slime there." Thinkin' I might be able to work this off're trade'im fer it. Hells, he can keep the saphire if'n he wants, long as I know what I'm lookin' fer.

Action:

Dime would give Grubby a cautious look as the goblin explained his encounter with a slime. "I suppose you could say it was kind of similar, though I very much doubt this one would have the same affect if you ever tried to eat it. Though I'd still highly recommend not to try, amoeba can have bad affects on your brain. As for why, it was all in the name of science. I kept her around cause she wouldn't be able to live a normal life outside of here still." The scientist would give Celled One a sharp look to which made it duck its head slightly back into the cup. "You behave yourself now, anything else breaks because of you you'll go to time out. You know what that means, yes?" The small creature would stare blankly for a few second before nodding.

With a heavy sigh, Dime would turn to readdress the goblin in the room. "You say you have something to show me?" The canine man would pick up the box to get a better look at what was inside, hmmm, if everything he just heard was true... Maybe Lady Annabelle was right. "You're right not to touch it, I've seen... Cases of this substance before, it can be extremely dangerous if not handled properly and not neutralized before being used in anyway. However there can be different variants of it..." The man would frown as he stared at the gem the ooze was covering. "Yes, I'll take it off your hands for now. Be sure my assumptions are correct and try to figure out as much as I can before relaying any information back to you. Can't give you any definitive answers until I know for sure."

Sounds about right. Damn alchemist fuggen with shit he ain't s'posed to. Ain't like all of'em don't do that, pretty damn sure they teach ya that in alchemy school or some shit. Breakin' the laws'a damn nature gotta be what ya gotta do to get yer practicin' license. Now I ain't in no damn position to argue're be difficult but I'm gonna say a piece'a my mind every mage motherfucker should hear at least once in his damn life there.
"Y'ever stop to think'a if ya should rather than if'n ya can?" I says. Now I don't say it like a fuggen prick, bringin' up a legitimate point here.
"Now it ain't none'a my damn business what ya do with yer time but that there coulda been a regular ol' ama-whatsits an' it wouldn't have to live in no cup. Ain't tryin' to start no fuss, I'm just sayin' what I thought about it."

Don't make a lick a diff'rnce to me if Ol' Dime wants to turn slimes into pixies, I seen weirder shit. Figure I might wanna put the bug in'is ear to think about what he's doin' though. Easy fer a mage to go down a dark road, then I'm gonna have to come back an' say what I think with the pointy end of a killin' iron. Be a damn shame there. Like to believe ain't a lot of them wizards'n sorcerers'n necromancers started out fugged in the moral compass but it happens, then I gotta go solve them problems. Path down the dark road ain't as easy to tell from as ya be thinkin' there, it gets to sneakin' up on ya an' pretty soon yer so deep down ya can only keep goin' down an' ya can't even see yer hand in front'a yer face. But I'm just ramblin' now cuz I'm old.

"Hey now, I ain't as green as I look here! Keeeehehehehe, ahehack HACK! Fuggen hells... ...yeah I know I ain't should be touchin' what I don't know what is. Shoulda seen what it did to the cheese in my pouch! Turned it from muenster to fuggen manchego! All black an' fuggen crumbly, cryin' shame there." That was some good cheese too, I still ain't happy about it. Can't get yer mitts on some good muenster here, s'all'a that weirdo shit. Heard they got cheese that's all wey an' people eat that! Can ya believe that shit? Sin against the gods I tell ya.
"Didn't think ya could there, no 'fense. Ya get a feel fer what the big weird shit is when ya been in the business long as I have, didn't think there'd be no easy answer. Still thinkin' it's concentrated evil. Now, ya sure ya don't want nothin' fer doin' me a favor? Don't be expectin' ya to take yer time on this fer free now." Figure I may as well pay the gnoll fer'is trouble. 'Least I could do.

"Not my job to decide whether its right or wrong." Dime would reply with a heavy sigh as he rubbed his forehead. Honestly sometime he himself had to wonder if everything he was told to do was right or not. Though he was one of the only people Annabelle could rely on to work the things he's assigned out. Truly he was worked almost to death, not that he didn't enjoy his work. It was his own fault how dedicated he was... Junction felt like it would forever hold mysteries though. "It's my job to work out as much as I can and to experiment what is and isn't safe to do. The limitations of certain practices and the likes. If I don't do it in a safe and controlled environment, who knows who might do something disastrous by accident that was never tested before."

"I'm glad. You'd be surprised how many people lack a basic common sense these days." The blue scientist would wheeze slightly in amusement, this guy seemed to know a fair amount for someone who... Well... Spoke like that. Though it was always impossible to judge on simple things like that, only he knows what exactly he's experienced throughout his life to have all that knowledge. Just like Dime only knew what was to be kept to himself... "It certainly can do some bad in certain situations. However I wouldn't call it concentrated evil, in fact there are variants of this stuff that can be quite beneficial in certain fields. Though its... Very complicated." As for the offer of payment. "Honestly, I'm already working on research for this goop. If anything you brought me more supplies to work with. Though if you insist, I'll keep a hold of the gem this black sludge is covering. There's no telling if I could completely clean it, so it may not be safe to leave a confined enviroment regardless."

"Sure it is," I says to Ol' Dime, "Every man's job to decide what the right thing fer him to do is, whether he been told to'er not. Gotta be decidin' fer yerself there, can't be forgettin' the fact it's you the one that's doin' it." That's just the way it is there, ain't no avoidin' it. Everyone got the hard choices, the bad choices, an' everyone's gotta choose an' not choosin's just makin' another choice. I been in his shoes a lot I tell ya, not bein' smart'n experimentin' with crazy goop an' turnin' slimes to people but makin' the hard choices. Sometimes I listened to what other folks'd say 'bout what's the right thing to do, mostly chose fer meself. I done some downright horrible things I'd do twice if given the opportunity. S'a slippery slope, but ya own up cuz the blood's on yer own hands, ain't no one else's. 'Least he's tryin'a do some good with it. Yeah, yeah I been in his shoes there.
"But that ain't none'a my business what ya do with what ya got. You'll get what's comin' to ya, good're bad, sometimes ya won't deserve it but all'a it comes full circle in the end, ya understand? Way the world turns there."

Listen to me wax philosophy over here, I gotta tell ya I wish more folks were fuggen old like I was, gimme more to talk about.
"Ya fuggen kiddin' me? I ain't s'prised fer dick that people ain't got no common sense no more, whole world gone soft on'em! Back in the day you was livin' on yer wits'n yer grit, ya make a bad decision it'd kill ya, ya pissed off the wrong jagoff he'd kill ya. Nowadays ya can be the dumbest fuggen asshole to walk the Material and you'll just get coddled're things'll work out since there ain't no drawback to bein' a fuggen idjit no more! Then they start havin' kids an' the world turns to shit." I remember the good ol' days where if I wanted a good leg'a boar I'd have to go out my damn self an' hunt one're steal one, now ya got someone that counts fuggen beans all day, nice house, good lookin' wife what can just buy him a boar an' he ain't even gotta kill it hisself! Cryin' damn shame there. I nod my head slow-like at Dime there.

"...nah, nah still gonna call it concentrated evil. Evil's bad, ain't no two ways about it, but it ain't bad all the time. Sometimes the most horrible thing ya gotta do is the right thing, or the best thing, but I'll be takin' yer word fer it. Still gonna be callin' it concentrated evil 'til I know what in the Nine Hells it is. Good to see ya need it, yer damn welcome there. Aww I don't need that thing back, sapphire's good an' all but what I wants to find out what this thing is what's turnin' folks into damn monsters. S'pose I could go huntin' s'more of it down if'n ya needed it," I says. Hey, lookee there! Got me some help, maybe a job! Can't damn believe Avandra been smilin' at me fer this long, but I 'spose my run a bad luck gotta end one'a these days.

"Not everyone gets a god damn fucking choice!" Dime would suddenly outburst, slamming his hand into one of the many desks in his workshop, a furious look in his eyes for a moment that would as quick as it came melt back away as he slouched over and groaned. "... Sorry. That wasn't professional of me. Just..." There was still a hint of hostility to the mans voice despite his best efforts to calm himself back down. Seemingly avoiding eye contact, Dime would take the ichor covered gem and turn to pick up the glass that held the Celled One inside. "I need to get back to my work." Without another word, the blue scientist would exit through the great metal door that the blue light had been emanating from before. The thundering clashing sound of a bolt locking the door shut would be the last thing Grubby would hear before being left alone.