Talkin' Whozamawhatsits (Grubby & Tiny Tin)

Ya know what? Fer a change a scenery I decided to just hang out with the fuggen garbage. Y'know, just to change things up a bit. Think I might also scratch my ass while I'm at it. Real excitin' shit. Fuck it sucks bein' poor. Figured out how to get up top but they don't much like me up there, I'm "uncultured" or "odorous" or "get your hands off that you fuggen imp". I wasn't gonna take nothin'! That shit ain't me anymore. Well... it is... but fer good fuggen reasons! Sometimes rich assholes are evil assholes and the best way to take care'a them slimy ballbags is to take their wallets away and kick'em in the teeth. Puts things into perspective for the fuggen jagoffs. No matter how big and powerful ya think you are some poor ass punk can just walk up and shank ya in the jimminies. Ain't nobody invincible no matter how much money ya hide behind, the 'lil guy gets his due. Even if he's gotta eat dog food all the days outta the year, he ain't got nothin' to lose so he'll go for it. Life taught me that. Life's also a fickle bitch that likes to blue ball ya. Life can suck my green eggs and ham, I get to decide when this 'lil guy gets his due.

So what's on the agenda today? Scoutin'. Scoutin' and findin' somethin' to eat, but my stomach ain't hurt yet so I got time. Pretty damn sure I can find some goodies in this trash bag I'm layin' back on anyhow. Shits comfy but it smells like fermented ball sack. I think it used to be punkins. Do punkins ferment? Shit, I can get some fuggen punkin' liquor, this might not be such a shit day after all. But right now I only got two jobs. Fer one I gotta get El'sino'or a map'a the Slums that she's been wantin'. Guess she wants to hunt or some shit. Don't have the heart to tell her only things she'll find are what I think mighta been dogs at some point and fuggen rats. Y'know, Plane'a fuggen Shadow, ya think there wouldn't be rodents y'know cuz'a all the blood suckin' bastards that eat souls or some shit but you'd be wrong. All over the place. I can throw a rock and hit a rat. I mean I'm good at it but that ain't the point. Rat Peggin' Champion of '86 for anyone that's keepin' track. ...fuck yeah I'm fuggen braggin', when else am I gonna get to whip that shit out?

So anyway I'm layin' back, kickin' up my feet, suckin' down on one'a them sig arrs or whatever the shit they're called. I like'em and I find the halves of'em in the gutter. They taste like cat butthole but so does everything else when you sneak food from the trash bin. 'Sides, this one kinda tastes like chocolate and the buzz I get is real calmin', ya feel me? Good fuggen way to pass an afternoon. I gotta say I like chocolate, I never really had it growin' up. Well I never really had food growin' up but 'specially not no fancy fuggen chocolate and 'specially not chocolate I could smoke. Yeah, I'm poor but this shit ain't so bad. Could be worse. I still got all my fingers, I got friends, I ain't blind from the plague... shit's nice. So I'm just gonna sit on this damn trash bag smellin' like spoiled punkins and suckin' a stogie. Nuthin' better to do and not a whole lot worse.

Tiny Tin had been wandering as he usually did, fixing things that needed fixing and collecting the scrap and reusable refuse that was left about, for processing into building and maintenance material, he had stopped a few times to help repair some homes, a few toys for the younger ones, and patch up the more used areas, even getting electricity to work in a large courtyard like area that people used as a market, now he was walking along once again tending to any damaged systems, buildings, and streets taking the time to stop and repair them as he always did, this of course slowed his movement considerably but since it was the primary reason for him to be out it didn't matter to much to him. First was his duty, once the place was more safe and less need of repair he could find his sibling units and rebuild his sister unit who was currently installed as the AI of his homes Reactor.

As he made his way down a side street he noticed a large pile of scraps, metal and wood and several other things that were tossed away, and he walked over to them not noticing the Goblin that was just in the alley across the street as he sorted through the refuse pile and added the metal and damaged tools to his stockpile for reprocessing, and once he was done he looked to the trash bin that was sitting there heavily damaged but able to do it's assigned tasked, and he started to fix it, taking the dents out and fixing breaks in the side so that it would be more useful before he started off again, a sparking wire at the entrance to the alley way that the goblin was resting in attracting Tiny Tin to it.

Once there he started to fix the damaged wiring but noticed the smoking goblin and spoke as he worked "Greetings citizen, please be advised that smoking is detrimental to ones health, also please be careful near any refuse piles as stray ashes could start a fire, thank you" he said as he continued to work on the wire that was sparking up quite a bit.

Nope. Nuthin'. Not a gatdamn thing. Now some folk'd be pullin' their hair out by the root not havin' nuthin' to do but not me, no sir. I got plenty to do, I just did it all or I'm about to do it. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little kickback every now and again, besides it ain't like I'm on any kinda timetable. We'll get outta this place when we do and not before, just gotta find all them magical doodads and crap first. Should know what I'm fuggin' lookin' for first but I ain't worried about that neither. Mithral, that's all I gotta know. So in the meantime I should be doin' scoutin' but my fuggen feet ache and I'd rather just lay back and puff on a chocolate turd for a 'lil while. I'm hangin' out with the trash fer a while, the smell ain't bother me none, when I notice I ain't alone. But it ain't nothin' to worry about. One'a them 'lil golems is walkin' around doin' its thing. I seen a few before we came here and one since, they just kinda walk 'round doin' whatever they been told to do. Had to fight one of'em. That shit was a bust. Y'know what don't take a knife to the belly well? A fuggen golem that's what. How's I 'sposed to pierce organs if there ain't shit to pierce? But we managed. Alabastor turned it into flatware and Orgnar broke that in half. Fuggen Azmodeus I miss that bastard.

...did that thing just fuggen talk to me? Now that's a fuggen switch. I know up top they like to run their damn mouths but down here I'd think they ain't got any a that fancy instruction. Comes with the territory when yer creation's made'a old beer cans and prayers but I ain't gonna judge, whoever did it knew what they was doin'. Well, I ain't gonna be a fuggen prick about it. Might as well answer the little clinkity bastard.
"Only thing I got as a health hazard's finishin' this damn thing 'fore I wanna get up," I says. I'm a real careful guy, I ain't like some'a them other jagoffs what throw their butts all over the place like an elf outta the closet. I put my shit in the sewer like a responsible smoke stack.
"I'm fuggen old, Lord's gonna take me 'fore this shit does." Now ain't that the fuggen truth. Y'know, 'less I act fuggen stupid and somethin' does it for'im but that's a problem for future Grubby. Not my fuggen problem yet. Right Now Grubby's gonna choke to death on his fuggen burnin' wad'a shit.
"*UUUUuuurrrgh hurf hurf!*" I cough up a lung, proven the 'lil bastard as smart as it thinks it is 'til I get back to suckin' on smoke. 'Lil guy's just a tiny 'lil golem, ain't even bigger'n me. And I'm fuggen short let me tell ya. I'm so short halflin's call me sweety pie but as long as they do it in the brothel I don't give a damn. Kaaaaaaaa ha ha! But I got an eye on it and I notice it's on about it's damn duties not a care in the fuggen world, puttin' the damn Slums back together. Fer fuck's sake that ain't gonna happen, not with a dozen'a them damn golems.

"*HOOOOooockk! ...ptoo* So's I know the longshanks probably told ya what ya gotta do and you ain't even here me cuz yer a fuggen golem but what kinda instruction involves fixin' up the shittiest part'a town like yer doin'? Sounds like one'a them... Sissy pussin' efforts or whatever that damn asshole's called." You know that guy, the one that rolls the rock up the damn hill. I KNOW that's a fuggen thing so don't tell me different, I just don't know what that damn jagoff's called right now. Serenipslip? Sispoontang? Whatever, it'll fuggen come to me, that shit ain't important. I got my damn point across. Not like it fuggen matters anyway, I'm talkin' to a walkin' brick cuz I ain't got nuthin' better to do. Wish I had some hooch. That shit'd make this seem sensible.

as the humanoid replied Tiny Tin continued to do his work, he only gave an advisory he was not a medical bot so he had no obligation to stop the man, now if he was in danger from another source or was committing suicide then he would act, but other wise the mans choices were his own, if the man has been doing this habit for so long that he was old then clearly it wasn't as detrimental as he thought, though when the man started to hack and cough Tiny Tin looked up at him to see if he needed aid, though after a bit it was clear the man was okay and so he proceeded to fix the wire finding out that it was actually like this due to a damaged fuse box connected to a transformer, the transformer had been bypassed due to it being damage and the safeties of the fuse box were as well to prevent it from shutting down the power apparently the person that did this needed power but didn't know how to fix a transformer, wire bypass though seemed something they could do, which was odd.

As he cut the power for the time being and started to work on the nearby fuse box he heard the man talking once more asking why he was even doing this "This unit is tasked with protecting and helping the citizens, as well as repairing the lower ward area and maintaining it, so far this unit has aided and restored power to 17% of the lower ward, and repaired several walkways and homes, estimated time for this ward to be back to full operational parameters is twenty years unless some event happens to help speed or slow the progress" he answered as he finished fixing the fuse box, he then started up his flight jets and took to the sky landing by the transformer and working on it next to repair the damage that time had done to it.

I can think of a few things that'll slow down that process aright. They's called assholes that ruin nice shit. Seriously, ya got fuggen jagoffs that wanna go ham on windows just cuz they're bored and crazy motherfuckers lightin' fires fer shits and chuckles and a buncha other shit. I'm gonna be honest here: I ain't got much faith in people. Now that ain't true, a lotta good folks out there but the handfulla bad folks'll just run'em right over and do whatever the fuck they want. S'why I gots a job, and that job is kickin' pricks in the pricks. Fer everyone ten clerics ya got at the church there there's one evil motherfucker tryin' to raise the dead in his fuggen basement. Cocksuckers. It never fuggen ends but surprise motherfucker, I never fuggen stop. So maybe it'll even out one'a these days, I dunno. I mighta done a lotta nasty shit in my day and I'm still guilty on a bad fuggen day but I know right from wrong and I'll do somethin' wrong to make things right, ya understand?

"An' just how the fuck long you been on that 'lil git'r'done?" I asks but it's already gone. Shit took off like a fuggen firework. How 'bout that? Flyin' fuggen golems, what'll they think of next? Personally I want a golem that'll rub my feet and gimme a reach around but I ain't trust no wizard enough to make one that won't bruise 'lil Grubby. I can trust a guy with my fuggen life no problem but ain't no one got enough strength'a morale character fer me to surrender my dick to magical fuckery. What was I doin'? Aw yeah, I was talkin' to the watchamacallit that ain't here no more. ...whatever, I ain't got shit to do. I take a long puff'n blow off the flamin' cock in my mouth 'fore I get to standin' up. Push my hips out reeeeeeaaaaal far to stretch mah damn back. Fuggen sucks gettin' old. Do Old Grub a favor and die in a fuggen swordfight, don't go all peaceful in yer bed cuz yer gonna be shittin' yerself at least twice a day and yer fuggen hair's gonna feel achin' pains. I ain't even got fuggen hair and my fuggen hair's achin'. But I get all stretched out, rotate my shoulders in they're sockets a little, sounds like fuggen popcorn I know, then I take a few steps back. Gonna need a runnin' start.

So's I get up some speed and I got enough momentum to take a step up the wall and grab onto a window 'bout a story up. Did I mention I fuggen love the Slums yet? Lots a fuggen handholds here, makes climbin' a breeze. I get up to that damn rooftop in no time. I'm a fuggen old man goddamnit. I like to ramble and fuggit I'm gonna ramble to this fuggen golem whether it likes it or not.

Strength:

I pull myself up there without any effort. This shit ain't even wind me anymore, s'like walkin' down the damn stairs. ...okay THAT shit winds me but stairs're fuggen hard. I'm fuggen short, shut yer damn mouth.
"Fuggen metal prick, makin' an' old man talk to hisself," I taunt the damn thing. But I mosey on up to it to see what it's doin' there. Looks like... yeah, looks like a spot forge on that whosawhatsit, the metal box thing. Now I can do a spot forge but I ain't done it like it's doin', looks like some magic golem bullshit. Got a damn blastin' wand on it or some crap.
"Hey, the fugger you doin' there?" I asks it. Now I ain't call myself a crafstman. I make lockpicks and other shit outta junk people throw away, I ain't no dwarven smithy. But of this clinkity clank sumbitch is makin' a spot forge with some magic malarkey I might wanna figure out how the fuck I can do it. Doin' it over a lantern's a pain in the fuggen ass.

Tiny Tin wasn't trying to be rude, he had simply gone up to fix the transformer and had intended to return to talk with the man, however as he worked on the device, his welder deployed as he used his internal forge to make the parts needed that where missing the Small humanoid was suddenly there beside him looking over to the man a moment and listening to his first comment Tiny Tin's head tilted to the side "Apologies sir I did not mean to go away, I had meant to come back down and continue the conversation once the repairs to the transformer were completed, if you require aid getting down I have no problem helping in that regard" he made sure there would be no misunderstanding, or at least none he could see before getting back to the task of repairing the transformer.

Though as he worked the man asked a question once again Tiny Tin looked over to the man politely "I am repairing this device to ensure that lights can resume normal operation in this area, the dark is a hazard to those not able to see in it, and the homes around here require power to allow those living in them to be more comfortable, for this task this unit is making use of it's welder as well as it's internal forge to manufacture the parts required" he answered as none of those parts were confidential, he then returned to his work a moment before stopping once more and looking to the elderly goblin.

"Also to answer your previous question this unit had been in operation for 25985 Standard years, while the lower ward itself is only a recent work, the infrastructure required took many of those years to return to mostly working order, sewers, gas leaks, and other things hazardous to the people of the ward had to be dealt with first before repairs could be done to the Ward itself, however this units current up to date map of the ward does help it calculate the time it would take to return this ward to functional order before improvements can be made, basic living conditions for all residents will be achieved in 20 years, renovation and improvements will then begin and take a further 50 years to complete, by that time this ward will be comparable to the next ward in quality"

"Suuuuure ya fuggen did. Leavin' a poor old man to talk to hisself like that. Ya never visit, never bring the gran' kids..." I take a huge suck off my chocolate-flavored shit stick as I fuck with the thing, it's just too damn easy to pass up. ...hell yeah I brought my fuggen see garr up here, the fuck you think I was gonna leave it in the trash heap? Yer fuggen dumb, this is the best thing I got goin' on in my life right now. I breath a good haze outta my nose 'fore talkin' again, that shit tastes like burnin' sex I'll tell ya that.
"*Ack hack! HRRRRRRnnnnnnk!* ...nah, I got my green ass up here I can get my green ass down.*ptoo*" No offense, but I ain't need no assisted livin' bullshit magical fuggen nanny what to get me where I need to go, even if it's straight up'er down. I might be a crusty old fuck but I'm a damn goblin, we get places.

Mmhmm... Mm. Mmmmmhhhhmmmm. Aright, okay, I don't understand a good half'a whatever the golem's sayin', sounds like babblin' bullshit to me but it ain't sound like it's wrong so I guess I just ain't fuggen smart enough or that's just how shit works down here. The fuck is a transformer even? Sounds like a changelin' someone cleaned up the name of, like callin' halflin's "vertically disadvantaged". Sounds stupid to me, I dunno. But I got two things tinglin' my dick a 'lil that this magical whatsafuck's been talkin' 'bout: a fuggen walkin' forge that's smaller'n me and a goddamn honest to fuggen Pelor map. I get to grinnin' ear to ear with my nasty ass teeth. This 'lil rinky dink motherfucker's just about to make my day! Here I was runnin' round in circles with parchment and ink tryna draw out the most pain in the ass maze I ever did try on the Junior Jumble and this clankity clank already got what I'm lookin' for. And some people say breaks ain't productive.

"Hot dayum, motherfucker! Where can I get my hands on one'a yer useful asses?" I chuckle, throwin' my arm 'round the little golem.

Tiny Tin continued his repairs as he listened to the older humanoid though when he mentioned grandkids he took the moment to think on that, what if he made his own helpers? Units to aid in the reconstruction efforts? That would help immensely in restoring this area to a more livable state wouldn't it? however he could build and program them, but he would need parts, that would require him to go out and retrieve them himself, or have them designed as his forge alone could do the job but would make the process take a while.

Tiny tin was brought back to the task at hand as the man started to cough and he looked up at him unsure how to help, but then the man seemed to clear his airway and the robot nodded a bit "Very well sir, however as for subordinate units this unit has not taken the time to build any, nor had the Idea occurred to this unit till you mentioned such, if this Unit does in fact create subordinate units it will bring them for you to see as you requested" With that he resumed fixing the transformer, the damage was extensive, but it was all internal meaning the transformer at some point ether exploded or simply wear had taken it's toll without proper maintenance.

Though as the man asked where he could get a unit like him Tiny Tin looked at him a moment "Unfortunately This Unit is the only one of it's kind, several sibling units where created however they have ether been recommissioned to other sectors, lost in action, or salvaged for other projects," now none of this was wrong, it just wasn't the whole truth, mostly because the man didn't have the proper clearance to know the whole status of the team, but Tiny Tin was able to at least say this much.

He then got back to work before the man put an arm around him and asked him about the map "Unfortunately the map is stored inside this unit, however a copy of the map can be given, for ease of transport this Unit will transcribe the map onto paper please wait one moment" as he continued fixing the transformer a small buzzing sound could be heard as his printer started to work, and after a few moments a full map of the Lower ward was compiled and printed out, the most current version of it that Tiny Tin was aware of anyway.

"this unit does not have an official map, this map was created with Data collected over the years this unit has been here, some parts may be out dated, but sadly the upper wards do not have an official map of this ward, Apologies if this map has some incorrect information on it due to the age of some of the information. However it's completeness is up to code of all current areas of the lower ward, I hope this map helps prevent you from getting lost" as he was talking more sheets were printing as the map was.....extensive...to say the least.

tool jams on a 4 after use

Random number (1,10) :

8

I breathe a 'lil air out my nose there. Shoulda realized. It's a fuggen golem, it ain' know nothin' like sarcasm or nothin'. 'Lil shit's amusin' though. Ain't like the other golems I seen that just wanna kill people cuz a dumbass wizard told'em to. 'Spose I can get used to walkin' tin cans like these.
"Nah I'm just ticklin' yer dick," I says, taking a 'nother long hit off my burnin' fudge stick, "Ya ain't gotta bring me nothin'. I ain't gonna fuggen stop ya though, could use one'a you 'lil motherfuckers 'round the shop." No lie there, 'lil teeny motherfucker that could spot forge whenever the fuck it felt like'd make my life just that much easier. Could maybe focus more on grabbin' shit fer Hildebrandt instead'a just makin' stuff. ...nah I ain't fuggen worried. We'll get outta here when we get outta here, no sweat. Pretty sure that ritual down in Crimson Keep's gonna take a while. Figure I got a couple weeks.

Then it tells me that it's the only one on the face'a the Plane. Tee-fuggen-riffic. Whatever, ain't no use in cryin' over spilt milk ya never had. Ain't affect my life none. 'Sides, I'm used to bad news, been gettin' it ever since I fuggen got to this shit show. Fuggen Plane'a Goddamn Shadow. When we get home I'm gonna kick that damn hibbity jibbity motherfucker upside his grey ass beard.
"So? Fuggen whip it out then, shit ain't fuggen hard," I tells it. Fuggen map's inside'a me, the hell kinda shit is that? Just fuggen open yerself up then, yer a golem, yer gonna be fuggen okay. Ain't like ya gotta reach up yer fuggen butthole. Unless it do, I dunno, I ain't no fuggen artificer. Coulda been made by gnomes, it's normal for those jagoffs to reach up their buttholes, how they hell they gonna get their heads outta their asses? So's it starts spittin' out paper, couple sheets'a the shit. Good fuggen deal.
"*kurr kack*...no fuggen way. That's good shit right there!" I'm grinnin' from ear to ear like a goddamn maniac, this is some damn fine news I just got! I stick my tongue out and put out my cigar on it, this shit's gonna need my un-dee-vided attention.

It's kinda weird lookin' and I can't make heads're tails a the legend cuz I can't fuggen read, but by fuggen Azmodeus there's the places I been all up there in black and white. I flip through map a couple times, lookin' round the roof where I think I is an' sure as shit, close enough.
"Sonuva fuggen cock suckin' tramp it's a goddamn shame there ain't more'a you!" I'm all fuggen shits an' grins, clinkity clank just made my fuggen week. "Yer fuggen alright there buddy, I ain't care what no one says about ya." I slap the 'lil tin man on the back... does this fuggen thing have a back? The other side then it's... face...? Fuggit, it's got a back now. So's I slap that thing on the back. Figure I owe this 'lil shit, might as well return the favor.
"Call me Ol' Grub! If ya need somethin' doin' and I mean fuggen anythin' I'm yer damn guy. 'Specially if it's quiet and involves takin' shit." I keep on flippin' through that fancy ass map with the biggest gapped smile on my ugly fuggen face. It's a fuggen great day after all!

Tiny Tin finished his repair work on the transformer and looked to the old man as he seemed quite happy with the map, before then he even mentioned needing help in his shop perhaps things where in need of repair there? If so Tiny Tin seen no problem helping the man, as he had already helped another man at his home, and several others as domiciles where a priority for the safety of the populous and as the man gave him a slap on the back Tiny Tin nodded to the man "This unit is glad to have been of aid, however if you require repair work at your shop this Unit can offer his assistance" he looked down to the ground and thought of hopping on down to get the power up and running but then looked to the man once more "This unit is heading back down to the ground do you require aid in descending? if not due to age then for convenience?" he asked as he waited for the answer.

Though even as he waited the man mentioned if he needed help with anything and for a moment Tiny Tin couldn't think of anything, but then something did come to mind, he couldn't spend much time searching for his sibling units that had gone missing, however this man would have time on his hands perhaps? any information could be of use, and he wouldn't need to disclose the information about what the units are exactly, "Actually....this unit requires aid in locating it's sibling units, they look similar to this unit with some differences, if you are able to locate them and give this unit the information that would be most appreciated".

He was about to use his holoprojector to show the man but realized that the man may need a more permanent image and so instead printed out pictures for him "These are what the missing units look like, they may have been altered however as they were designed to optimize their roles they shouldn't have been changed much if at all" he said as he handed the man the print offs.

Sibling units pictures:

tool jams on a 7 after use

Random number (1,10) :

6

'Lil nickel-plated shit actually wants to help me out in the shop. I figured it'd just tell me to eat a dick in nicer words. How 'bout that? Nah, but I ain't want it to go out of its way fer this old bastard, I ain't got nothin' broken in my shop. 'Cept the roof leaks. And there's a nasty fuggen draft. And there's hole in the plyboard I gotta fuggen nail together later an- whatever, fuggit. Shit adds om-bee-yonse, y'know, makes a thug feel like he's in a seedy ass place. That shit's important I tells ya. Gotta cater to the customer else you won't sell nothin'. I ain't sellin' nothin' anyway but that's only cuz people are fuggen stingy with their damn cash. Fuggen cheapskates.
"Nah I ain't need nuthin' like that, ain't nuthin' needs fixin'. Wouldn't mind somethin' to spot forge with, though. Fuggen pain in the ass tryin'a do it over a lantern, I ain't got no proper forge yet and if ya ain't noticed I'm not a fuggen dwarf so most'a what I forge turns out lookin' like slow-baked shit."

Good 'lil golem but kinda too damn helpful. I might be old but these dusty bones got fight in'em. I ain't need no goddamn help 'less I ask fer it.
"Ya fuggen listenin' to me? Said I ain't need no help down and I ain't fuggen changin' my answer. I got my warty ass up here an' I can get down just peachy, you'll fuggen see," I says. I ain't bein' mean or nothin' but I'm a better climber than the fuggen Orgnar was and that motherfucker could bench press hisself. I seen him do it once, it was the fuggen weirdest shit. Kinda like doin' a pullup but backwards so it looks like a pushup and in the fuggen air. I ain't know what else to tell ya, ya hadda been there.

I cough a bit quietly regrettin' that I tossed my shit stick off the ledge an' I go to look at the watchamacallit on the paper there. I take the picture an' suck my teeth a bit. Ain't recognize none a them, that's fer sure.
"I can see the resemblance. Nah, hate to tell ya but I ain't seen none a you clanky 'lil spitfucks nowhere, yer the only one. But I tell ya fuggen what, I'm runnin' around like a gob on fire right now so's I'll keep a peeper open, how 'bout that? Might get the druid on it too, she ain't doin' nuthin' but bein' a bitch about this whole Plane'a Shadow shit." Fuggen El'sin'noor's been havin' her period ever since we got warped, pissier than a fuggen toilet bowl I tells ya. I shoves the map and picture down in my pouch, rollin'em up so they ain't get fuggen wrinkled an' shit. They just need to survive the trip back to the hideout anyways.

"Aright motherfucker, ya can count on Grub!" I says with one'a them reassurin' grins that prolly makes me look like a damn freak cuz I'm ugly. I give the 'lil metal shitpot a hard slap on the side of its box there all friendly like.
"If I see somethin' I'll give ya a holler, I'll just look fer the shit down in the Bottoms that ain't look so shitty. Ya gotta find me you look fer squares with X's in'em, the triangles point where I be at." Figure it ain't hurt to tell'im how the thieves' runes read, it's just a fuggen golem and he ain't a bad guy. I walk over to the edge and look down, tryna find out where I threw that damn cigar. I'm fuggen jonesin' right now.
"'Less you got somethin' else scratchin' yer asshole this old man's gotta go get his hands on some'n else to smoke an' get goin'. Hidebrandt's gonna drop his fuggen drawers when he gets a load a this here map."

Hearing the man say he had no need for things to be fixed at his shop the little bot nodded before making note the man needed a forge, he may be able to build him one if he needed it it badly, after all he had many left over supplies every day that he could use for such a project, and having a forge in the area my decrease the need for him to help mend broken things as this man could possibly do it? With that thought in his head Tiny Tin listened to the mans rejection of help down and nodded. The Agreement to aid in finding them was also a gesture that Tiny Tin appreciated as the man said he would keep a look out for them, more people looking increased the chances of them being found after all.

The man then mentioned a means to find him and he logged the information, a use of symbols? that seemed to make sense, written directions could be misinterpreted, simply symbols would be far harder to confuse, seeing the man looking for something however Tiny Tin walked to the edge of the building and looked over it with the man "This unit lacks the Tactile functions needed to imitate an itch, however no further issues are needed to be addressed" he answered as he figured out what the man was asking and as he looked over the side of the building he realized what he was looking for as well.

Activating his scanner he looked about the alleyway below and quickly found the item in question, he then pointed to it and used a little laser pointer to point it out better for the man "The object you are searching for is there sir, if you were looking for the stick you had been inhaling the smoke from earlier" he said as he continued to point it out with the laser pointer.

These golems sure take everythin' to heart're whatever the fuck they got in there. I figure they gotta be built that way, I ain't think a wizard could make nothin' too damn wise else he'd be outta a job. It ain't a good idea what to make somethin' that can replace ya, really shoots yerself in the foot there. What do they got in there? I mean I ain't no asshole an' I ain't gonna open the motherfucker up but it gots me wonderin'. S'just a buncha metal or he got some Ioun stones? Fuggit, I'll find out one'a these days. Or maybe I won't, ain't gonna itch my dick none. World's a fuggen mystery an' at the same time it ain't no mystery at all, y'know what I'm talkin' about? The shitpiles stay shitpiles an' no matter if ya call it Junction or Rockport or Illsvale or anywhere else you can think'a. Speakin'a which I gotta find my damn cigar down in that there heap a crap.

I shade my hand over my eyes so's I can look better, bitin' my lip as I get to not findin' what I'm lookin' fer. I still got eyes like a damn dwarf lookin' for gold I tell ya. that's the one thing old age ain't take from me but this thing's buried'n more shit than a halflin' under a Red Dragon. Not gonna fuggen find it up here I'm not. So I get to climbin' down, slow'n steady, takin' it real easy like. I ain't high up but I ain't wanna crinkle the damn map, that shit's gotta look nicer'n a polished silver if we're gonna use it to get us the fuck home. I pad my feet on the ground there an' go lookin' fer it, hunchin' real close to the ground to get me a better look. Fuggen shit I wish I had the back I did twenty years ago. But then all of a sudden I see me a red glow in the rubble there, looks like I didn't put it out as good as I thought I did.

I slink over an' it ain't embers, shit's fuggen glowin'! Got a red spot on it wigglin' 'round there. Now that usually means some magic fuggen bullshit's at work but I really want my gatdamn stogie. I take a whistlin' breath through my nose. I'm gonna pick the damn thing up. When I go fer it the shit's on my fuggen hand! I yank it back, it ain't hurt or nothin'. Don't make no fuggen sense. I go back fer it again an' it's on my fuggen mitt like before. Reminds me'a... stained glass there. I get lookin' up an' sure as shit the golem's doin' it. Magical bullshit, I fuggen knew it. Then it gets talkin' an' I figure out it's bein' a pal. How 'bout that? Magical bullshit what ain't backfire in yer face an' actually fuggen helps people. I should tell Hilderbrandt about that, maybe he'd learn a thing're too.

I pick it up an' strike me a tinder twig, get puffin' on it. Tastes like dogshit like it's s'posed to. Sweet, sweeeet dogshit. I look up an' I wave at the 'lil metal motherfucker. Good 'lil bastard there. I ain't think he's gonna fix up this shithole fast as he says he is but fuggit, power to'im. So's I get on my way with my map in tow. Now that I got what I'm after I gotta get my ass movin' again, it don't do me no good just sittin' 'round like this.