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| | Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete) |  |
| | | Author | Message |
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theevilgood
Posts : 46
Join date : 2015-12-31
| Subject: Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete)  Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:33 am | |
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Jack, the Modern Knight
“Truth cannot be changed. When all the flowers of the world are dead, there will still be a true thing that is a flower.”
― Clara Winter, Tintagel
The Biography
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Birth Name: Jacques du Lione
Aliases: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Birth Day: June 6
Arcana: The Tower
Place of Residence: Some small apartments near Vista Square
Evoker: Mental Shackles
Academy Semester: Graduated
Class: N/A
Sorority: N/A
Part/Full Time Job: Military Police/Cadets. Jake will be starting as one, and moving to the other once he awakens his persona. Additionally, Jake volunteers wherever he can to help people, whether the job is paid or not.
I've been asked to explain this, so I will. Despite the fact that NC controls the Cadets, Jake doesn't really know the implications of this nor anything about Persona before his awakening. Unlike most Endymion residents, he is only vaguely aware of what a persona is. Additionally, as mentioned in his bio and personality, he idolizes knights, who typically serve the lord of the realm. I'm not saying he'll always stay there, but the government is who he's chosen to place his trust in at the start because he's bought the "land of freedom" thing wholesale.
Appearance: Jake stands an impressive 6'3" and clocks in at a not-too-shabby 200 pounds of lean muscle. Because of his former military service, Jake does his best to disguise his heavy scarring. For the most part, he can do this simply by wearing long sleeved clothing. The most obvious of his injuries would but the large scar that runs the length of his chin. Because of this, he keeps his facial hair scruffy to cover up that particular scar. His hair is shoulder-length and blonde. His skin is relatively pale but not pasty. His eyes are a pale blue. Although he is not blind in his left eye, he has developed light-sensitivity and typically wears an eye-patch to cover it.
Alternate Appearance: His persona mask manifests as a solid black balaclava. The balaclava represents to his persona precisely what it does to military service. His persona is a tool to protect him from the harsh world, and to conceal his broken nature to those around him.
Personality: Jake is a man scarred, both physically and mentally, by his sense of duty. His former military service has left him with an intensely honed combat sense. At the same time, his proactive attitude continues to drive him towards an active and charitable lifestyle. He's always admired the mentality of the romantic knights of medieval lore, and thus tries to emulate their regality and loyalty in whatever ways he can.
He tends not to stay in one place for very long. Previously, this has manifested in his travelling from France to America and finally to the town where our story takes place. While he has no intention of leaving soon, he does not tend to spend much time holed up in his house. Thus, he'd rather be out moving or doing something with his time. Spending time along with his thoughts disturbs him. Therefor, he tries not to do it. He sees his persona as an opportunity to once again take up arms and make a difference in the world.
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The Potential
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Strengths:
—Strength Name: Firearms Training
—Description: Jake has official military training. Because of this, his penalty for attacking with Assault Rifles is reduced to -10%
—Strength Name: Combat Sense
—Description: Because of his extensive training with the military, he is adept at pinpointing battlefield strategies to deal with human opponents and exploit their flaws. When it comes to flanking, disarming, subduing, or eliminating an enemy VIP, he's your man.
—Strength Name: Empathy
—Description: Because of his own emotional scarring, Jake is particularly attuned to the emotions of others. It takes someone with training in masking their emotions to be able to trick Jake's sense of others' emotions. If he can see you, there's a chance he knows what you're feeling, even if not specifically what you're thinking. He needs a clear visual of the person's face to do this.
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—Floating Strength Name:
—Description:
Weaknesses:
—Weakness Name: Physical Numbness
—Description: Because of his numerous combat injuries, his aptitude with physical weaponry has decreased. Though he can still swing as hard as ever, he suffers an inherent -20% accuracy with physical weaponry.
—Weakness Name: Specialized Training
—Description: Jake has never dealt with anything quite like a shadow before. His military training only helps him in the traditional sense against this kind of foe. Jake can't spot the weaknesses of non-human enemies unless the enemy shows physical signs of weakness.
To clarify, this refers to combat weaknesses, not elemental weaknesses. It's meant to be a foil to his Combat Sense strength, which allows him to quickly devise tactical solutions against human enemies. It refers to the fact that he's at something of a loss against shadows because they do not display emotional weakness in the same ways humans do.
—Weakness Name: Battle-Scarred
—Description: Jake's psyche is not entirely whole. If something triggers a particularly bad combat memory, it's possible that he could relapse into his own memories and lose himself in a combat haze. If this happens, he won't have the sense to know his own limits, and will likely just charge straight into enemy territory.
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—Floating Weakness Name:
—Description:
Soul Bound Weapon:
Weapon Name: Dight
Weapon Description: A simple, black-gripped combat knife with serrated teeth and a curved edge. As a remnant of his old life, this weapon has bathed in just as much blood as he has. The blade is roughly four inches in length.
Weapon Image:
Weapon Attack Type: Slash
Weapon Element:
Side-Arm Weapon:
Side-Arm Name: FN SCAR-L
Side-Arm Description: The SCAR is one of the Assault Rifles wielded by over forty countries around the world. It is fully modifiable. Although Jake's is mounted only with an underbarrel grip, a reflex sight, and a suppressor. As a member of a foreign military, he kept his rifle after he left the service. When he signed on with the Military Police of Endymion, he pulled his rifle out of retirement as his primary weapon of choice.
Side-Arm Image:
Side-Arm Attack Type: Gun
Side-Arm Style: Machine Gun - Muti-Round - Accuracy is decreased by 10% (per strength). Consumes 3 types of ammo at once to fire -must be same type of ammo.)
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The Background
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History: A black-armored knight extending a hand to him as he lays crying in the underbrush. This is the only dream that Jacques du Lione remembers of his childhood. It was an inspiration to him then, and yet felt like deja vu every time he had it. He'd always admired knights, perhaps this was just a manifestation of his subconscious.
Jacques took this dream as inspiration to join the Armed Forces. Straight out of school, Jacques joined the French Army. He displayed exceptional prowess with a rifle and, subsequently, was recruited by the GIGN as a marksman. It was during this time that Jacques learned to specialize in negotiations and marksmanship. Things went well for Jacques until his final mission with the GIGN. Misinformation leaked by terrorists earned Jacques a knife in the jaw and two of his team mates killed. The other would never walk again.
It was at this time that Jacques decided to retire from military service and move to America for a new start. For a time, Jacques actually managed this. He met a girl, got engaged, and lived a peaceful live. Or at least, he did. As was typical of Jacques' life, things took a sudden and violent turn when the local town found itself under attack by a radical group of terrorists. Remembering how his indecision had cost him while in the GIGN, he picked up his trusty SCAR-L and gunned down those who were threatening his peace.
Yet, when the dust settled, Jacques was not greeted as a hero. As it turned out, the terrorist group had been composed mostly of the disillusioned youth of the town. While the courts found that his use of force was justified, no one (not even his fiancee) was willing to look him in the eye anymore.
At this point only vaguely aware of persona use as a concept, Jacques followed the rumors of a "town a freedom" where one could live a life different from anywhere else in the world. He eventually found his way there, any immediately enrolled in the Military Police. If he couldn't protect anything, he would protect his new home. From whatever threats awaited in the night. He would be different here. He would be neither a soldier nor a killer. He would change, this time for the better. He would be a knight.
As he steps foot outside his new apartment, an elderly man smiles at him. "I haven't seen you around before," the old man muses, "What is your name son?"
"My name is Jake."
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Last edited by theevilgood on Thu Feb 04, 2016 5:18 am; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | | Snow
Admin
Posts : 2254
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 37
Location : Somewhere past Pluto
| | Subject: Re: Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete) Tue Feb 02, 2016 5:58 pm | |
| For place of residence where are these apartments located?
- For job you mention: Military Police/Cadets – if you are speaking in general this is fine; however, if he is working for the government then I’d ask for this class be changed to a Nyra Child app as they work for the gov. Granted if you can explain why a Persona User works for the government, I can let this go.
—Strength Name: Firearms Training
—Description: Jake has official military training. Because of this, his penalty for attacking with Assault Rifles is reduced to -15%
As far as I understand we do not have guns as weapons and the side arms offered comes in three flavors as listed on the app. Please edit, so this understood to apply to the side arm weapon.
—Weakness Name: Physical Numbness
—Description: Because of his numerous combat injuries, his aptitude with physical weaponry has decreased. Though he can still swing as hard as ever, he suffers an inherent -30% accuracy with physical weaponry.
Perhaps lower the percentage to maybe a 10% or 15%. 30 is a bit high.
—Weakness Name: Specialized Training
—Description: Jake has never dealt with anything quite like a shadow before. His military training only helps him in the traditional sense against this kind of foe. Jake can't spot the weaknesses of non-human enemies unless the enemy shows physical signs of weakness.
I am okay with this. Just be aware that no one can see weaknesses of enemies with out the analyzing skills listed in the persona skills section of the site.
For your weapon, how long is it? Also, how is a knife doing pierce damage? Is this a stabbing type knife? If so please specify that so it won’t be assumed it is a slashing weapon.
Side-Arm Attack Type: Gun
Side-Arm Style: Machine Gun - Muti-Round - Accuracy is decreased by 15% (per strength). Consumes 3 types of ammo at once to fire -must be same type of ammo.)
I would suggest not adjusting the numbers stated in the descriptions. Calculations are done during battle to compensate for strengths and weaknesses.
History: This is just minor things, but:
“Misinformation leaked by terrorists caught Jacques a knife in the jaw and two of his team mates.”
What exactly happened to his team mates? The sentence seems incomplete.
“At this point only vaguely aware of persona use as a concept…”
How did he become aware of persona? Please expand.
Outside of this the app is fine. Edit or explain what I have asked and I can approve it.
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| | | | Grantus
Posts : 6498
Join date : 2013-07-06
Age : 30
| | Subject: Re: Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete) Tue Feb 02, 2016 6:23 pm | |
| You can be someone who works for a government and is a User according to Phile, so this is fine. That said if someone wants to handicap themselves with a weakness then that is alright for them to do. 15% is not applicable cause we go by 10s, 20s and so on when it comes to hit and missing. So if you get 15%, you round down to 10 on here. The history is probably fine cause in Endymion pretty much everyone knows that Demons and Personas exist, since in the Government the Cadets are granted that power. Everything else is fine. Add a height/weight of the character and dimensions of soulbound and everything else should be fine. | |
| | | | theevilgood
Posts : 46
Join date : 2015-12-31
| | Subject: Re: Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete) Thu Feb 04, 2016 5:21 am | |
| Updated.
I've addressed a couple of concerns in underline. I just went ahead and added the height and weight and weapon dimensions. Additionally, I changed the accuracy stuff in his strengths and weaknesses as per your suggestions. Firearms Training now reduces his Firearm penalty to -10% instead of -15%, while Physical Numbness gives him a -20% accuracy for physical weapons as opposed to -30%.
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| | | | Snow
Admin
Posts : 2254
Join date : 2014-10-28
Age : 37
Location : Somewhere past Pluto
| | Subject: Re: Jake, the Modern Knight (Endymion, Complete) Fri Feb 05, 2016 6:52 pm | |
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