Crashing(Sharaku)

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Nozomi had been sitting in the church for god knows how long at this point in time and place really in all honesty. He had been waiting here for a while now. it was as if he had lost track of time right now. Thinking about everything that had transpired between him and Akina. Especially their attempt to rid themselves of israfel failing horribly. Christ things were getting pretty depressing now. The Kichida didn't know what to do anymore. He felt pretty terrible/guilty as well.

After all. He still blamed himself for what happened. Even though he had not said this to Akina he kept it to himself. It was as if he considered himself the direct proponent for the situation that was now occurring to them.

He had seriously lost track of the amount of time he had been here nearly motionless. It could have been hours or days and he wouldn't really notice,but in reality. It had just been 30 minutes.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Wed Sep 23, 2015 5:47 pm

This honestly wasn't planned for. Sharaku had only been passing by the place, originally not even really interested in going inside. Afterall, what for? Not like he was religious or anything of the kind, so it was kind of pointless to do so. He had only cast it a passing glance, sort of. Although, he did remember going in once before. That was long ago, however, and it was mostly because he wanted to know what was the place like.

He did stop for a bit though, when he saw a familiar looking person inside. It wasn't even hard as no one else was really there. People were probably busy with different things during all this craziness going on. Hm. Well...he didn't really have anything better to do..and this was actually kind of strange...

''What are you doing here? I didn't think you were into religious things.''

Guest

The boy would find his depressive state interrupted by sharaku. Why was he here really. It didn't seem like a place Sharaku would pop up in. Then again it didn't seem like a place EITHER of them would really appear in.

Oh hey Sharaku. What are you doing here?I'm not really a religious guy no..The boy would trail off slightly.

Honestly I'm moreso lamenting at the moment. I didn't really expect anyone to come over here.The kichida would reply with in all honesty. That really was kind of why he was there in the first place. Given how damn empty the church was.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Thu Sep 24, 2015 3:58 pm

''No reason. I was passing by, saw you, and decided to inquire as you don't strike me as the kind of person to be in a place like this.'' And it was even confirmed that it had nothing to do with religion. What then...? He found it somewhat unlikely for anyone to have much of an interest in churches nowadays with all these 'God' problems. Was it even worth it to come here?

He would raise an eyebrow. ''Lamenting over what...? To be honest, a church itself already sounds like a depressing place to be at nowadays.'' It was just a not so nice reminder of things. Funny how some deities and Gods were messing with their world, while a church is meant to be a place where people pray to them. Irony? Maybe.

Guest

Oh well Fantastic sharaku. Haha..... A church really is a depressing place to be in. Guess that didn't exactly help the mood out much now did it.It was true that this was probably a terrible place to lament but Nozomi well. He really didn't know.

Well I....I messed up terribly sharaku.. I just,I feel like I let down someone close to me really.He would say lieing over the church benches n everything slanted across them while speaking noticeably slower than how he usually did.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:25 am

''Well, that I do not know. It's your mood, not mine.'' He'd say it wasn't exactly a mood helper, based on the situation around them, but it's not like he knew what exactly was on the other's mind right now, and whether a church was appropriate in any way or form. Then again, it kind of struck him as a bit pointless when one isn't religious to begin with. To each their own.

He would frown. ''Hm. Feeling something, and it being the real deal are two different things. Depends on what it is that you've done, and how does said person really feel about it themselves. Have you asked whether they actually think you've let them down? Just thinking you did doesn't mean it's true.'' Sometimes, the other person didn't really care as much, while you thought you did the worst thing possible. Not always the case, of course...but if you don't know for sure that you actually let someone down, and just feel like you did...there's no guarantee your feelings aren't just a waste. It very well could be. In any case, talking about it is important, is it not? If you're really worried someone is upset with you, then you should ask them about it.

Guest

You know Right yeah it is my mood. Though... Sharaku it has to do with this whole situation you know?I hope you don't mind me just coming out to you like this cause I do not want to force this onto you or anything...The kichida would say hoping he didn't really force his issues onto sharaku with what he was about to say. He didn't want to seem like he was desperate for pity right now or anything of the sort. He wasn't really that type of guy in the first place. Though his recent failure with akina was kinda hitting him hard at this point. So he might as well just bring it out then.

Well you see Sharaku....Remember when I said to you I joined israfel with a friend right...? Later at some point I kinda understood the full intentions of his wish. So me and my friend akina attempted to rid of his essence from inside of ourselves. Only it failed horribly and now we're kinda well....Stuck with this.I feel like shit man.Nozomi really did feel terrible at this point and felt as if he had screwed over pretty much one of his greatest friends over to boot as he would lie back straight on the church bench. Sighing a bit and looking un alert,far different from how he usually did.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Sat Sep 26, 2015 5:09 pm

He would sigh a bit. ''It's fine. I've listened to plenty of things by now, so I don't really mind...'' That wasn't really a lie. He usually didn't ask for it, but he has had people giving him such talks several times in the past already. For some unknown reason, as he probably wasn't the best choice for that..? Or so he'd say. Then again, it was up to people to decide whether they wanted to try or not.

Hm. He would frown a bit, tapping his fingers against the bench. ''Hm. I'm not sure why should you feel like you screwed your friend over. Were you the one that forced her to join Israfel? If not, then she must have accepted it of her own will. In which case, it is mostly her own fault if she simply went in blindly after you, not considering the possible consequences of the action. Just because people are friends, doesn't mean they have to always do the same. She could have said no to joining him, but she hadn't, right? So it is not your fault that she's stuck. Not really. Don't take blame for something you didn't really do. Otherwise you'll feel bad for just about everything that happens.'', he would state somewhat thoughtfully, before shrugging a bit nonchalantly. ''Besides, why get so upset over an Angel? You already know you're not going to let him control you. What does it matter beyond that? I'd say they aren't worth feeling terrible over.'' Frankly, the Angels were annoying him lately. In general. So whatever. It's not like humans needed to really give them the time of the day. He himself was kind of with an Angel, but that didn't have to mean anything in the end. It's not like he would give in if they tried something on him.

Guest

Well thanks for hearing me out on that. I feel a little better saying this to you.In truth Nozomi really did. He felt a bit better having gotten this out of his system. The guilt from it was starting to eat at him in a sense.

Yeah I didn't force her to join israfel at all....Though it was the aspect of why she joined israfel in the first place that was eating at him.But I...Was the one who convinced her in the first place about it. Which.... Is why she ended up joining him. She's like. My greatest friend pretty much...True she could have said no. Though she had found herself agreeing with Nozomi in the first place. Was that truly her fault or his own?Perhaps a mix of both given the circumstances behind this occuring really.It's just....Fuck. Yeah he can't control us or anything,but....

I'm a little scared as to what this implicates. I feel like a goddamn fool sharaku.He would say looking utterly downwards disappointed.This wasn't exactly his brightest moment right now. He didn't force her at all to follow him,but he still felt this dragging upon him from the inside. Like he had essentially pulled her down with him and now they were both stuck in this situation. Thankfully Vincent hadn't gotten pulled into this. Nor Tremora. Otherwise it would be even worse now.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Sat Sep 26, 2015 6:24 pm

''You're welcome.'' Not like he would die from some listening. As long as it wasn't listening to extra annoying people or speeches. Such as some of Hyde's or Jack's rambles that simply made no logical sense, or were just too childish for a normal conversation. He sort of didn't tolerate 'stupid' for too long. Because it was honestly dissapointing to hear things like that. On top of it being naturally irritating when taken too far.

He would click his tongue. ''Not much different I'd say. Unless she's the type to go with almost anything, she must have agreed with the idea at least decently regardless. At the very least, I don't see why would someone let themselves be convinced if they simply did not like it. Assuming they have some sort of backbone and can stand by their own ideals.'' Sure, one would listen to their friend...but still, you aren't obliged to follow them just because they are trying to convince you into something. Not unless you yourself agree with said idea. What is fine for one person, may not be for the other. ''Though....if you really turned your view of the situation around this fast, then both of you may just have misstepped in the first place. What did you really think? Doesn't seem to me that you thought a lot before joining Israfel if you're so horrified all of a sudden. They always speak the same. If you use your brain a little, it's not hard to tell what their Wish is mostly about. This is what you get for jumping into something headfirst.'' Was he wrong? He couldn't be completely sure...but if Nozomi really took the care to think over what all Israfel's Wish could imply before deciding to go for it...then it would be unlikely for him to be freaking out just a while later. That kind of did not go hand in hand. Usually.

He would smile thinly. ''We're all scared of something are we not? But that doesn't mean wallowing in self-blame and all that will solve your problems. You'd just make it worse than it really is. All people make mistakes once in a while.'' And one mistake wasn't going to kill you unless you let it. There was almost always a way out somehow. ''You can always stand up and fight, whatever happens. Or do you intend to let the Angels have the last laugh just because you may have made a wrong move once? They can already be condescending enough. No need to give them a reason to really believe we're spineless.'' What result would that have, he didn't know. But he'd guess nothing very positive.

Guest

She isn't exactly the type to go for almost anything... We have known each other for a while and did put some good thought into this at first. Just the...Alterior way this wish would be executed and the real premisis behind it came a little uh. Late. I ain't a fan of supporting a guy that wants to brainwash the entire world into well. Nearly killing each other over who's the strongest to rule really.That part was true yes. Nozomi and akina found the idea pretty preposterous. The angels were really extreme in their ideals judging from how sharaku had described the others and what he found out from israfel speaking directly had just about justified this no?Ha.He would chuckle slightly about it. Guess he was a real knucklehead joining israfel so quickly.I guess I really did misstep into this considering it. Fantastic...He really had done himself in now. Though. Was he truely restrained to it if he was capable of resisting or atleast TRYING to resist the angel and capable of TRYING to throw his essence out of himself. Even if that failed horribly for the time being right now. That was a point. Nozomi wasn't down for the count yet. Things just looked bleak in reality.

Yeah...We all have our own litle fears and frankly I had mine this entire time that I slowly started to get over as things progressed. I just... I guess I just couldn't handle fucking up and especially a little badly for the first time.Though Nozomi would raise his head up from his down state the minute sharaku mentioned the possibility of standing up and fighting.

"You can always stand up and fight".

The words would ring out to Nozomi in an echo nearly.N-No!
The boy would say standing up a bit proudly now. It was...It was as if Sharaku reminded him about something. Where was the Nozomi that always stood up for his friends and himself. The Nozomi that helped get everyone together. Now....Sharaku had made him think of well.

The guy he really was. He would stand up confidently all of a sudden. Facing torwards sharaku and no longer really.... Looking depressed clenching his fist with a slight yellow radiating off of it almost.

You know you got me back up again Sharaku. I know this is uh. Pretty sudden but You...You reminded me of who I actually was saying that. I can't believe I...Forgot about myself almost and was just gonna give up like that. I know exactly what to do now.

...Thank you.

He was grateful for Sharaku having without intention maybe reminding him of the guy he really was,and not the guy he was acting like right now.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Sat Sep 26, 2015 7:32 pm

''Everything has its flaws. You can't really get something without giving up something else to a certain extent. There isn't really a way to make all humans follow one mindset coming from a Wish without having to force the majority of them into it some way. At base, some of their Wishes may sound acceptable...but only on paper. I don't think it can really be done fairly, and also work. Because if they did not force some people that way, then the ones disagreeing would just rebel, and possibly sabotage the Wish in the end regardless of whether it won or not. And the Angels surely don't want that happening.'' It was logical in some way, yes. But that still didn't make the Angels justified to do it. Who says they even need to make a dumb choice out of those Wishes in the first place? They had their own minds.

''Perhaps so. But we can always learn from our mistakes, yes? I'm sure it can be fixed in some way eventually, with the added bonus of you knowing that it might be a good idea to be more careful next time.'' If nothing else. Experience was always helpful. And you can't always have a good one, can you?

He would blink at the sudden change in mood. Now what? He would take a few moments to process what was happening before sticking his tongue out at the other in amusement.

He would laugh faintly. ''I didn't do anything, really. Only you alone can truly pick yourself up. Making a realization or a change is something that happens only when you let it afterall. If you intended on denying the possibility, my words would have done nothing.'', he would state in an airy tone. He knew that well enough. If a person wasn't interested in getting help, then it was equivalent to talking to the air. Someone who doesn't want to listen and do something about it won't do it.

Guest

Well. Flaws are what make us human right? Yeah... I guess I Just. Had a hard time accepting my own these days. If we all follow one wish. It screws everyone over in the end. Then we potentially lose our free will. Get forced into you know one ideal and thats about it. As nice as some of these sound. I'm glad to say I pretty much fully resist all of these. You know it's kinda funny. Using an angels own power to resist the wishes n everything. I wonder if they'd finally remotley decide to take it away haha.He would laugh a bit. Though great. It'd be a funny thought. Using israfels own power against him. Imagine actually defeating him with it. Woo. Would that certainly be a little ridiculous.

I definently understand I should have put more thought into my actions to change this,Atleast now I understand well...What I need to do. Fine then haha.If you wanna say that you didn't really do anything. Looks like I let your words let me well. Get a come back time in me again. Sharaku's words did serve as a catalyst yes but the Kichida had to accept that in the first place. If he didn't he would have just denied it and remained the same no?

Damn. it really was pretty empty in the church.

Subject: Re: Crashing(Sharaku) Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:59 pm

Well. ''Accepting your flaws is never easy. I can understand that. Everyone would rather always be the best, or at least appear like they are.'' That wasn't really anything new. Generally speaking, people didn't truly enjoy having their bad sides exposed, regardless of the fact that they would be there no matter what. ''Well, there may be a few that could be happy with a certain Wish. But a lot more people would want something else. There isn't really a way to pick a golden middle road between the choices we are being given. Plus, the Angels aren't willing to compromise in anything, really. I sort of tried already, and I'm none the wiser in the end.'' Deva wasn't all that helpful in the end. Sure, he got a few things somewhat clarified, but some others got shaken around as well, so it was just about on equal terms there. All in all, he was still in square one. He would hum. ''Maybe it is possible. You can certainly use it to fight the other Angels...and who is to say one could not defeat them all, and then turn on the one they joined? It's not really a nice move to pull, but they are the ones asking for it.'' Who played by the rules once it got this bad anyway? The Angels were being rather arrogant with their ideals, so maybe they did deserve to get shown a bit of reality. Assuming there would be a chance for that with the Primoridals on the loose.

''You asked me to listen. I did just that. The fact that it apparently helped you is an added bonus, I suppose. I couldn't have known what you wanted to hear afterall. So it's more of a stroke of luck than me doing anything.'', he would state in a laidback tone. Partially, it was true. Although, he did know what he was saying. But it always depended on how the other side interpreted it, so there was never a guarantee for anything.

''Anything else you want to say....?''

Guest

Yeah shit man. Me I'm not happy with... Well. ANY wish haha. I get the feeling thats the same for several people now. Yeah haha.The boy was filled with newfound hope and resolve now in a sense. All he had to do was take the necessary step forward and start actually taking some initiative in all of this. He couldn't afford to sit back now. Or really mope or anything of that sort right now.

Well....Yeah Sharaku. I really do appreciate the fact that you heard me out and had yyour own stuff to say on that. Well...

There's not really much I have to say on the matter but, What about you?Have you ever felt down like this?

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