Why do we Do the Things We Do?(Death)

Nozomi sighed. He had been sitting down on a bench in San Malarus Park for a long while now. Shit was starting to effect him heavy. He was lieing back on the bench with his hand covering his face in an annoyed and partially sad expression. Things were starting to get to him these days,and he was starting to run out of ideas. He was trying to sort out everything in his head now and all of what he was doing,but to no avail. He found himself mentally struggling with his ideals and what truely mattered to him,Or whether or not he was doing the right thing.

It had hit Nozomi hard and quickly. He had lost track of how long he had been there for a while. It was night and frankly Nozomi just didn't feel like standing up anymore. So he would lie back. Attempting to think of a solution to the already existing problems he was facing and his constantly tested patience

{Death THis thread will be long btw,Dont leave it early]

There are so many things that would make any perfectly sane person crazy. But them, that means that I am at least partially insane right? I mean, no person in their right mind would be able to deal with this shit with a smile. Time to think all of this over now, and what better place than a good scenery of a park?

I went over to the park and started walking around in a sort of half-trance. I can't believe that all of this craziness for me started by mulling over an old newspaper. That angel in the tower was the one who allowed me to get down this supernatural path. The first person I found with supernatural powers was Jack Rannels. But I met him when he was trying to hide his identity as a ranger red.

Though due to the recent rally he showed his identity to the public, much to the chagrin of his father. Oh, did I mention Mr. Rannels is the police cheif? And that I am a former murderer who has been deputized? Yeah, pretty damn crazy, and I still don't know why I was released from prison. Maybe god himself had a hand in it for a chance for redemption?

Oh hey look, isn't that Nozomi right there? I was just wandering around and happened to wander right next to Nozomi, what are the odds? But, it looks like he is being a bit depressed? Hmmmm, I might need to do what bros do and hear him out and comfort him. "Hey, are you ok Nozomi?" I sit down right next to him and stare intently into his eyes.

Oh wow. Hey Tremora.Nozomi would reply half heartedly as he Noticed Tremora approaching and then speaking to him. he wasn't really in his usual mood.You know Tremora. You ever have these moments where you just don't know what your doing anymore?Where you get all confused and have all this internal struggling and shit and everything just feel slike it's going to hell from there.Nozomi's emotions had been swirling with the times frankly,and he didn't like it. He didn't want to start to get moody or anything. It's just I've been in all this stuff lately and I can't help myself but lie back and consider it all you know? I don't know where to go from here.He would say laying back still. His arms at his sides only glancing at Tremora really.

"Oh, that, well pretty much every day in my life, why do you ask? Sooo, you need to consider everything that has happened, want me to talk about it with you? I also feel like reminiscing. .......You do realize that it is completely obvious what we are supposed to do right? Train to defeat the ultimate primordial and possibly flip the bird to the angels?"

"Nozomi, just say the word and I will reminisce like hell to you and give you my opinion of our course of action. Is that okay with you buddy?"

Ha. Tremoras Statements made Nozomi laugh a little. It was like he was trying everything to cheer him up a little.Well Tremora..You know...I did something big lately with Akina actually. See. We went into the velvet room. There was this big place that was the embodiment of everything I.... Nozomi would stutter slightly upon attempting to bring the words out of himself.

Denied. About myself.He would say with emphasis.



It was a strange dungeon that took the form of Nozomi's own subconscious Rejection of himself and various things. He wondered what other horrors he would have been stuck facing in there. It was large you know?Big and foreboding. Don't even get me started when I was stuck facing like. The literal embodiment of everything I denied...Which welll...Looked like a shadow version of me you know?He would trail on towards Tremora. Looking towards him directly wondering what he would say onto him.

"Ohhhh.... Yeah I know how hard that can be. Because I basically show the shadow of myself to anyone I am at least acquainted with. Was it like trying to fight what you think when you know the deeper thoughts are true for you? Nozomi, just saying, you have come to the right guy for that sort of stuff. But, let me first ask this question, and I know it may hurt."

I clear my throat and say, "Could you please tell me everything about your hidden side? I don't really think I can help you to the fullest unless I know what you feel deep down."

[color=#009999]Well Shit Tremora it isn't that simple you know. I just... I just walked in and bam. Me and akina defeated a few shadows and then suddenly we went on this lift like thing you know? And I just walked in with her and saw it standing amongst a flat flooring with a black foreboding Sky. It was freaky you know?It imitated my persona and everything about me. Said I denyed everything and only like to stay in my comfort zone n shit. It just... It had me thinking alot you know? About myself and everything I do. I mean we defeated it. And then I unlocked a new persona within myself you know?The shadow like transformed into IT./color]It was strange. His shadow has become his own newfound persona. It was a rather large revelation frankly. He didn't know what to make of this.

I just don't know anymore Tremora you know?

"If it isn't that simple tell me. Wait, a lift like thing? Could you tell me what your dungeon looked like? Welll, every normal person likes to be in a comfort zone, yet there are those that force themselves to push through. I honestly believe you are one of those kind of people. Wait, a new persona?" I snap my fingers. "I called it Nozomi, I fucking called it."

"Wait, since you got a new persona does that mean that you can't use the old one or you can use both? Well, it is quite confusing, but all we need is a bit of time and some rethinking and we can do this. I think the first thing I should cover for myself is before I joined the team. I believe I was going around the island, doing minor good deeds and stopping criminals, when one sad guy tried to take my suitcase. I had quite a bit of money in it, and I didn't want to give it all to him, but he ran and I called out for a bit of help."

"Unfortunately that help came in the form of Jack. When I saw the 'Red Ranger' I talked with him a bit and then remembered a rumor I heard. That Jack Ranells was ranger red, and that some of the other rangers were involved in some weird shit. I talked with him about involvement in the supernatural and I think he told me to mind my own business. As you know, a guy tried to spite mug you, and I gave him some donuts thinking he was hungry. I honestly felt quite dumb when I didn't know who the people of the local crime are ;.;"

"Ummm, I think you also paid for half of the replacement donuts. Yeah, then we all saw the bloody green star and met up to talk and figure things out. Because clearly they were getting out of hand, and even a few people can change things for the better."

Well no Tremora. You see I am capable of using both at the same time strangely. It's basically like...I got two personas now?I like alternate between them basically.Nozomi would then notice that Tremora actually knew that jack was The Red Ranger.Nozomi hadn't talked to Jack much lately at all and didn't really know what to say concerning him and his well being.Well I'm slightly confused over here though Tremora. I mean your kinda basically saying what led you to all of this. I guess your a bit right with the whole forcing myself to push through things. Tremora seemed to go on and on about what he apparently did before he actually met Nozomi. It seemed strange for this to come out all of a suddne,but Nozomi figured to just go with it in reality.

Personally before I met everybody I remember. I just moved into here lately by now a few weeks ago. It was strange how quickly time flew by. Then all this persona stuff happened and everything just changed. I didn't know how to deal with it. I just went with everything as it passed by you know? It was confusing,but at the same time I knew what to do.Contemplating all of it. The boy was right. All this business frankly hadn't been easy to deal with,but he dealt with it anyway.

"Hmm, interesting, being able to alternate personas. I thought that might be what the wild card was all about but now I know. Oh, before you ask where I heard of that I heard it from Aki-chan. Well of course you would be at least a bit confused, I am probably three times as confused as you are. Yes, I am saying what led me to this shit, and yes you are just trying to force yourself to push through. But faults are part of being human, and guess what we are?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, just make sure to deal with it when needed. A few weeks ago? Huh, now that I think about it this shenanigans started around then huh. Sooo, you really wanted to go with the flow then? Ahem, anyway, shortly after the meeting we held I blacked out on my way out of my house. And that is where I met Philemon and he gave me a persona, Prometheus."

"Then we sort of told eachother things that we hid from eachother. Yeah, I think I cried a bit during it. Then I met Aki-chan during my part-time job, and she wanted to go to a resturaunt. Yeah, she still has absolutely no clue about the inner workings of human society. I found out she was a velvet attendant at the resturaunt and talked with her a bit. She also seems to not like animals being killed and she is a vegetarian."

"How odd, I just seem to be attracted to supernatural and crazy situations....... ;.; Nozomi, I think I might be part pedo. "

Hm. Yeah I guess you got a point there Tremora. Being flawed is what makes us Human and frankly. It isn't easy to deal with,but that's why we don't stop pushing through this shit when you think about it. Yeah I can understand you being confused as well. Alot of people get confused in this kind of situation when you consider it haha. Just how damn deep it all gets.He would say looking around slightly and then looking back at Tremora.

Fantastic I guess. Well we all seem to have our own variant of humble Beginnings. Then we all ended up meeting each other. You know I met a velvet attendent too before actually. Though she appears as a little girl for some reason. That I don't seem to get how aging works for velvet attendants... Oh well.Nozomi would be forever confused by the logic of the velvet room but would not question it at the moment.

He would facepalm upon Tremoras comment about being a pedophile.Tremora. Pedophiles are people who are attracted to Incredibly Younger people/Children.

"Exactly Nozomi, we just keep on keepin on. Yeah, so many beginnings that are just so damn normal, except for me, my entire life is an anomaly. Yeah, I guess we were destined to meet but it could also be sheer dumb luck. Wait, you met a velvet attendant? Oh...... that would probably be Aki-chan. Honestly I don't either."

"I know that, and guess who I am attracted to? It's Aki-chan, and guess how old she is? 15! I am seven years older than her for christs sake! If that isn't a case of pedophilia then I don't know what is... except for 70 year old guys and 10 year olds. That is such obvious pedophilia that it hurts thinking about it..... Why the hell am I talking about this? "

Well Tremora. To be fair. She could just look 15. I know one that looks 7 nearly and is nearly like. Above 100 years old. Age over in the velvet room is a strange thing to be honest. Though I stopped trying to understand it however. Though hey...If your gonna go for her I guess your free to try. I mean. I honestly doubt she's just 15.Nozomi didn't have much of a comment for Tremoras ongoing about how he thought he was potentially becoming a pedophile. He really did not know what to say concerning that. All this talk made him think of Lisa. Man. Imagine if tremora met HER. Now that woulda worked out strangely. The young girl was a little ball of energy that stood out in Nozomis life. And was also nearly 10x his age.

"I asked for how old she is and she replied. She said she was 15 years old. I wouldn't joke about things like that, and it's really disturbing me." I start gnawing on my fingernails.

Damn Tremora Um....Well.....He really did not know what to say about Tremora potentially hitting on a younger woman or anything of the sort. Honestly Tremora maybe you should let her go or something. She'll probably find someone around her own age you know? Besides there's somebody for everybody out there anyway. I don't doubt the possibility of you getting into a relationship.He would say trying to reassure his friend of the situation and everything. Lets never have this conversation again.