The Time Flies [Shun]

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

...eh? When did that protective side towards Hyde arise again? Weren't Sharaku the one who always complains about the redhead's overall mood and demeanor? And why defend Naomi? She does even worse, she outwardly despises Hyde no matter his efforts to make amends to the point she even punched him when all the redhead did was show care for her as a friend. But hey, at least she did it right to his face (literally, in this case) instead of behind his back. Right. Another moral lesson, as if the previous reprimand wasn't enough. If he wanted to be scolded like a kid, he'd just stay home instead of leaving and go through the same on what's supposed to be a date. And well, the unpleasant tone in his previous response was just a reaction. Sharaku was the one being impatient first because Shun chose to prioritize his life and the issues that come with that first, instead of risking his butt to save others. Is it a crime to think about yourself when nobody else doesn't? Arrest him for it, then. Speak about his family, a delicate subject he expose in an intimate moment, and use it against the teenager when it's convenient was such a low blow. — Oh? Don't think for a second that I'm scared of stating my opinion right to their faces. You might want to know that, in fact, I did it already. Many times, to all of them. Most of the things I say here about them aren't really "behind their backs". But while we're at it, does Hyde know you were the one complaining about him back when I visited you...? What is it that you said, he doesn't "help at all" and you're tired of him? I bet he would be even more hurt to listen to that instead. — If Sharaku was going to be a hypocrite and condemn attitudes he also shared, then he might as well be reminded of it. In the end, he was no different than Shunnosuke at all. — ...the answer is no. I don't complain about you. End of topic? — Shun said, deciding to follow him to wherever Sharaku's heading to, but at a probably slower pace, not rushing his strides to stay side-by-side with him. Sure, the student has talked about Sharaku before with very specific people he deemed as friends, yes. Never in a derogatory manner, however. If anything, the complaints were more directed to the whole situation he found himself in, not about the man's traits per se. After everything the teenager did and said to prove his good intentions, that kind of question was completely moot and ridiculous. Ugh, the meeting has just begun and they're already arguing with each other. At least, Shun was sure it wasn't his fault this time, though he was starting to regret he left home... — Hm, what are your plans for today?

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Thu Apr 02, 2015 6:54 pm

Was that so? Okay then. In fact, Sharaku wasn't even bothered by the argument anymore. There was no point in it after all. It didn't particularly matter what he said, did it? Shun wouldn't take it positively whether he continued the current topic, or tried to apologize. He knew that well enough. It didn't appear a sorry was enough, even when he was actually honest, because the teen seemed to either doubt him, or not show he appreciated the apology. Besides, he didn't feel like he needed to. His point still stood. Shun had issues with a lot of people, no? This or that, Sharaku still found it ironic. Getting upset about people treating him bad every other moment, but apparently finding a problem with other people on the other hand was very easy. If the teen so boldly complained about every other person, then he should be willing to take others telling him such to the face with the same confidence as well. Otherwise, it was kind of lame. Sure, he himself did point it out when he thought someone assumed stuff quite wrongly about him, but in the end, he would swallow it, rather than whine, and put extreme amounts of importance on it. As for the second matter, it was a moot retaliation. He wouldn't speak extensively about something he did know nothing about. Hyde knew well enough.

That in mind, he would just look at Shun casually, putting his hands in his pockets. No need to keep getting riled up over it anymore. He didn't need to stress himself more than he already was. Not now. It was no use attempting to make things clear to the younger, when he only responded by taking the comments in his own way. Besides, this meant he could state his own opinion as he wanted, no? If Shun said it was completely fine, and that he did it, then he could say what he wanted to himself. Simple as that. ''Alright, fine. I'm just wondering, that's all. Because you seem upset about people thinking of you wrongly a lot. But it appears to me, that you find issues in others a lot as well. Just saying that they could be feeling bad about that as well, just like you are. Nothing more, nothing less.'', he would state, in a laid-back tone. ''Also...No, I do not quote every little thing I say about Hyde to him, that I do not. But, he knows very well about what I think of him and all he does. We've discussed it several times in the past. We have our own opinions about each other, and they aren't necessarilly always positive, but that's just how it is. You can't expect someone to adore you from head to toe. That would actually be quite creepy, to be honest.'' Seriously, it would actually be offputting to have someone sprouting little pink hearts every time they saw you and all. People disagree. That is no newsflash. And as long as the sides involved are rational enough to not let it go to unnecessary extremes, it's just natural. He was trying to work on that. He knew he could react a bit too harshly at times, even though it often wasn't meant in that way.

''If you want to. I don't intend to stress over it.'' Whatever anyway. If Shun didn't complain about him, good. If he actually did despite claiming the opposite, he didn't particularly care enough to cry over it. He could recognize when it simply wasn't worth it. It wasn't like the teen would be the first to be offending towards him and all. He was really stopping to give a damn about it. You can't change a person unless they themselves want to, so what did it matter? He would state his opinion when he felt like it was accounted for, but other than that...he wasn't crazy enough to go as far as risk his sanity just for a futile attempt when he saw a situation as one. In fact, words often meant little to him. Mainly when they, and the actions and all just contradicted too often.

He would look back at the teen as he walked. ''Not entirely sure yet. Let me think about it. Though, if you have a suggestion, feel free to say.'' He hadn't had much time to plan before hand, and he wasn't even sure what to do now. Ugh, he didn't know what to do, to be frank. It was always so hard with Shun.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

To not "stress over it". Alright then, that's what Shun aimed for. Sharaku wasn't right in many of his opinions, there are many nuances to his behavior the older failed to grasp no matter how obvious the teenager tried to make it, but well, whatever. He was the one who proposed them to start over, the teen just agreed to that. Talk about a good way of keeping up to your promise. Shun still felt distressed by the fact Sharaku evoked the family card and shove it on his face to give him an idiotic moral lesson, ultimately swallowing that up and staying silent, something he was not used to do at all. It was for the greater good, he kept trying to tell himself that in order to keep his mental sanity.
— ...huh? — He stared at Sharaku, unbelieving. Really? He invited him and now he "wasn't sure" for what? Definitely not something the teen saw coming. Then, what's the point of sending him a message stating they could meet if you haven't planned that date in first place? Scold him for their clashes of personality? Nah, he was fine without that. Spend some quality time together? He seriously doubt it, Sharaku has proved and said in different manners that Shun wasn't anyone dear and special to him. So...?? The teenager couldn't help but feel confused here. — ...Nothing comes to mind. I'm fine with whatever you make up, not feeling too picky right now. — Shun had his preferences, of course, but...gosh, he didn't even know anymore. Anything was better than entering endless arguments for petty reasons.

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Fri Apr 03, 2015 7:16 am

''.............''

Fine. At least he could save himself from opening his mouth anytime soon. Because the way it was, Sharaku was really losing the will to even state anything. He didn't even have to focus on the younger a lot to know that Shun was probably being his usual upset self somewhere in his mind. Wasn't that what always happened? He wasn't a mind reader, but by now it was rather easy, seeing as the teen always reacted the same. Whether it was said aloud or not, it was obvious he felt hurt for some reason, one way or another. Why should he want to say something? The moment he said something he thought that involved the other, Shun instatntly felt down, cause he was apparently 'so wrong' about him and didn't understand at all. That's the only thing he really got from the way the younger man acted. And he could do nothing about it. When he tried to explain himself, the result was the same. 'Whatever, you still don't get it'. Of course, when Shun said something about him in return, then it was completely okay, and responding to that was kind of futile, because that only meant the teen would proceed to get upset by a different matter. God. Sometimes it felt as if Shun thought that the occassional statements of how he cares were all it was about. But when it came to the more serious matters, it appeared that the teen was only willing to acknowledge that he was right, everyone else was wrong when it came to him and anything that involved him, and obviously not give a damn that when he said his piece in return, the other person did not have to take kindly to it either. Hey, if he was the type, he could have really been upset about how Shun immediately assumed that he did say things behind Hyde's back, without knowing anything at all. Hello, dear, you can be wrong about others too, in case you haven't realized yet. Thankfully, he has learned how to get over it fast, but that didn't mean these little things didn't hurt at all. Of course, it didn't feel like Shun cared about the possible result one bit...only about the fact that he himself was the one that was a victim here. He simply didn't know what to do anymore. What was he supposed to do around a guy that dissmissed 99% of what was said with his name in it as wrong? Sharaku wasn't the one to be sweet all the time, and he would never be. He just felt like he couldn't do anything anymore, because almost everything got Shun to feel like he was trying to mentally slap him.

And obviously, the following reaction kind of suggested Shun was not pleased about him not having detailed plans thought up already. Well, sorry for not being a perfectionist, and feeling like spending his time making up destinations in times like these. Tsk. Fine. He would look back once again, his expression rather blank. He had the urge to ask the teen whether it really all bothered him so much, but he held his tongue...not wanting to just get into another loop as usual. His mood was honestly not up to it. What was he to talk about, the weather? Maybe that wouldn't make Shun hurt. Either way, he would stare at the teen blankly for a few moments before looking back ahead. In case the younger wanted to go complain about silence as well, then he could go fuck himself. It's not like it mattered which way he acted. Whether he was honest or not. Shun simply never liked his words. And if he had a problem with both that and silence, then he could just leave. He really wasn't in the state to deal with that right now. He did not want to stress over it, but it was almost impossible. As much as he was trying not to, he was faliling. He had enough problems on his plate already, and it wasn't his fault that Shun didn't give a damn about what was going on. What? So Shun had his family to deal with first and foremost. He had his own things to do too. He couldn't just jump around on call and be there, remember everything whevener he wanted. He wasn't a machine.

For now, he would keep walking ahead, not saying anything. The teen was free to initiate a conversation, but he wasn't going to start one now.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

...now what? He didn't say anything wrong, did he? What's with that empty reaction? Sometimes he wasn't getting Sharaku's behavior, really. More than that, he wasn't getting what was he supposed to do here. He rubbed his temples with one hand, trying to rationalize on this. It wasn't meant to be that confusing... And of course, Sharaku would give him the cold treatment for something he didn't even know why. Pretty mature for a man in his 20's.
— Just in case I missed something, should I have said something different? Your reaction kind of makes me think that I should decide what to do next or at least help deciding. If that's the case, we can just sit somewhere and talk. I doubt it'll get any worse than it's already and we've barely started our little "date" or how you decide to call it. — For once, his tone has mellowed out here; after all they're supposed to be "starting over". Sharaku should be happy and appreciate it, because in other conditions Shunnosuke would just give him a nice and ruthless piece of his mind and leave. Perfectionist as he is, Shun wasn't the one to spare words when he wanted to drag somebody down; however, with certain people, he'd refrain from doing so and act amicable here...as far as amicable goes in this particular situation. At least the teen knew when his words could potentially hurt someone and when to stay quiet on. — Hum... You implied that you know what that person who's after you wants... What is it? — After all, if it's related to the supernatural, he might as well be aware since he's, like the man said, "involved". That and he was worried, of course. Shunnosuke wouldn't stop being concerned about his well-being, no matter how much he wanted to explode at Sharaku at times. Other than that, he didn't know much of what to to say to break the silence. Perhaps he should get used to shutting his mouth too, no matter how awkward it was to date someone and not talk to them...

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:27 pm

Hm. Sharaku would stop walking, turning around to face the teen. No, he had not been expecting Shun to actually choose. He had just given the option because he had nothing in mind. That wasn't the thing throwing him off here. ''No. That is not what I meant by it. Honestly? I just don't know what to say. I don't have to be a genius to guess that you weren't entirely pleased by the fact that I didn't pick what to do beforehand. To be frank, I simply didn't feel like starting another argument. When I think about it, you're not really happy about 90% of what I say. So I figured it would be better to just not say anything. It isn't like I had any specific thought on mind anyway.'', he would sigh faintly, looking upwards for a bit. ''If you want the truth, I simply don't feel entirely comfortable stating anything, when I know that you'll end up getting dissmisive over it because I apparently don't understand anything in your opinion. That is all there is to it. And I kind of think it would be lame to start talking about the weather just to avoid any more loops like those.'' If that explanation wasn't good enough, then he didn't know what anymore. Maybe if he actually knew there was a chance for a different reaction...but that was so low he was having a hard time to make himself bother.

''Anyway. I guess we can go to a park.'' Somewhere outside would do him good at the moment. With that, he would make to walk again, flashing the teen aa glance when asked a question. ''Hm. I don't necessarilly know what it is that they really want out of the confrontation. I'm just pretty sure I know why. You remember what I told you about my past before, yes? Thing is, it isn't like they just let me go out of there. I would probably have been dead by now if I had stayed. I ran away. And I'm guessing they do not like that. In a way, it's my own fault for staying so long in Azores. Made it easier for them to snoop me out, whatever they actually want of me. This was one of the reasons why I never spent more than a while in one place before. But I got tired of running around...so I suppose I'm paying for that now.'' That much he knew. The actual deal behind it..not really. He'd have to see face to face, sadly. Ah well. Despite how distasteful it was, it was his own problem.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Instinctively, Shunnosuke had stopped walking as well. So, that's how it is. There they are, misunderstanding each other again, like in an endless cycle. — ... — He was really, REALLY avoiding this kind of conversation again, but it seems like the student wouldn't just get away from that, would he? So be it. — Excuse me, but of course I won't be happy for you forgetting my birthday and worse, pulling out something I've confided only to use it against me and defend the untouchable honor of your dear friends, that's low even for you, and if that's what you have to say to me, then I'm better off without it....but no, whatever you say is not even close to the real problem. — That's actually a small fraction of the whole issue. Sharaku almost never said anything that could be properly classified as offensive, Shun had to give props to that. The teen was actually more bothered by a number of other factors, as he mentioned. Though his remark had an acid tone to it, his face changed to display another kind of emotion. As if he was...sad instead. And embarrassed, confused, but mainly sad: — ...I wanted you to trust me. I wanted to be considered special, different than the others you've met before... After everything I've tried to do to show you that you can rely on me, you're still wary around me. The more I try to say I'm here, the more you shove it in my face that it was never your intention to get close to anyone, including me, that this is how you are and I'm no exception. Sometimes I hate you and blame you for it... I thought I deserved to be trusted, even though I know trust is not something I should enforce or own, but something I should earn. Still...I don't know why I can't earn yours. And I'm not sure if that matters anyway, I've come to accept that I can't have everything I want already...or win everyone over. It's just for a moment, I thought I could at least be special for you, but I know now it doesn't work like that... — He said opened his case, taking out of there a small, purple velvet box decorated with golden satin ribbons. Definitely something that can be classified as expensive by its looks. Sharaku may not know but that package was brought long before, and Shunnosuke intended to gift him back during Valentine's Day. They didn't go out on the right date, so the package was...just there, gathering dust and making a nice paperweight of itself. For some time, Shunnosuke even forgot he bought it and left the little box on his dresser, until the day Sharaku sent him a message. Shun wasn't staring at Sharaku even once and his voice was somewhat cracking here as he admitted his sense of defeat and selfishness in this case; by trying so hard to make Sharaku think of him as someone worth being considered special, he ended up with the right opposite result, not being considerate of the older's feelings and turning depressed every time he found out he was failing. — I bought this for you...I ordered from a jeweler some time ago. I wanted to give it to you during Valentine's Day. I don't know if you'll like it, but...it has your favorite color on it. — Shunnosuke said, reaching out the little box to Sharaku, without saying anything further. He could open it and see for himself if the gift suits his tastes, thought the younger hoped Sharaku wouldn't do it in front of him. Gosh, these moments are so hard...he was feeling incredibly silly and idiotic here.

Weakness:

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Sat Apr 04, 2015 10:29 am

Uhm, well. There wasn't really much to say to the first part...Sharaku often forgot even his own birthday when he didn't focus on it..sp, it wasn't that surprising, and doubly when the world decided to go to hell meanwhile. It was hard to make priorities when there was so much that needed to be kept track of and done. It just wore him out..and he was bound to forget a thing or two here and there, or realize a little later than he should have. You can divide your attention only so much. As for the following...it wasn't that his objective was to defend someone's honor..but really. He had just been asking if Shun seriously didn't know a thing about what went on...and the teen responded by practically dissing everyone along with his answer. How was he supposed to feel about that? It kind of suggests things when you talk that way without even being prompted to do it. Makes one wonder why did he hang around them when he had a problem with each and every one.

And he was going to say something in regards to that subject...But that was before the younger made to continue his talk. Which promptly made him shut up for now. Not because he had no answer to what Shun was being concerned about...but because he..was having a hard time putting it into understandable terms. There actually was a fairly simple and straightforward reason for all that..it took him a good while to figure it out, but that one talk with Naomi about relationships and all (he still didn't know how they got to that, but nevertheless) did make it much clearer after a bit of further thinking. Problem was..what could he do about it..? It could be solved, sure...the problem was that such didn't happen with a snap of a finger..and that appeared to be the issue. Shun had always been expecting results to come in fast...that he would get what he wanted simply by making his attempts. That was hard. Rushing it too fast only made him want to back out more. He already knew that. And frankly..this one here was even more pushed than the norm is. Didn't people generally date first, get to know each other and all that before claiming to love the other person, and the deep feeling jazz, and expecting that special kind of trust? Be as it might, he was kind of unstable even when it came to the slower development...and Shun had taken it quite upside down from the start. It only suceeded in making him extremely uncomfortable about the situation. What do you do when someone you barely know suddenly proclaims these kinds of feelings for you? It depended on the person taking it, perhaps, and sadly, he wasn't the kind that jumped in joy at the prospect.

....in truth, for a while, he sort of wished he knew a magic trick to just make himself poof into the air, and not have to deal with this. Alas, that was not an option. Fleeing was distasteful, no matter how much he wanted to go for it. And God, Shun wasn't even letting him come up with a response like this. He would end up staring at the teen for a while. Ugh, life, why? He would take the offered gift, but follow up rather quickly by grabbing the teen's arm as well. ''Th-..you.....Not here.'' No way he was getting into this discussion in the middle of walking through a street. Whether Shun wanted to or not, he was going to drag the teen after him (of course it would be much easier if the younger simply complied and went along) to a nearby park, which was thankfully not far away from where they were at the moment. For the short walk, he would stay silent, doing his best to not look in the other's direction at all. Whenever they managed to get here (with or without resistance), he would walk Shun over to a bench. ''Sit, if you would.'', he'd say in an even tone, despite the way he looked right now...that is, if Shun bothered to look up at him. Ha, well it wasn't as noticable as it would be on someone else, due to his fairly dark skin...which he should probably be thanking for now. Still, unless one was blind, it was obvious enough that his face, along with the tips of his ears were kind of tinted red. Oh well...

''Mind listening to me for a bit...?'' This was definitely more awkward than ever before, but it had to be done sooner or later. At least, now he knew what the deal here was. ''As for the first matter...I'm sorry alright. I don't always keep track of dates well. 8 times out of 10 I even forget my own birthday went by. In fact, I'm not sure what date it is today...though, I guess that matters not right now. And...I'm not really trying to defend anyone's honor there...but, in concept, it's the same as you did a while ago...you assumed my silence meant you were supposed to pick, because that was how it appeared. I asked whether you really didn't know anything about the current situation...and you responded by talking down about everyone, when I did not even ask to hear that. Sometimes, what you say and do suggests things. It's easy to make it look as if you diss everyone you know all the time, when you do that. But, I'll admit that I perhaps react too sharply when it comes to it.'' He would take a deep breath. Allright, that was the easy part of this.

''That nonwithstanding....'', he would waver a little, ''I'm aware I do that...I've pushed people away since..I don't even remember when exactly...It's always easier that way. I didn't mean to hurt you by it....just...you went for it a bit too fast for me, right from the start..I don't know how to deal with that...you try so hard at times, that it comes out differently than you intend. You see...I have taken time to think this over...and if you want an answer to why you have problems getting close to me, and the whole trust issue...I can tell you. It's actually simple......I..'', he would pause for a moment, gupling dryly, ''I am afraid.'', he would look downwards. ''Letting anyone close..means I'd care...and that gives them chance to hurt me...I don't want that...but, I guess I don't want to do what I'm doing now either...I don't know....''

With that, he would crouch down, picking at the gift box in his hands somewhat unsurely, though not opening it yet. ''...........'' This was going so well....

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...huh? What now? — H-hey! — He replied, his tone rasped in his throat as he tried to cope with the pace of Sharaku's strides. Did he say something wrong this time again?.. The teen didn't even have time to think or offer any resistance, or try to decipher whether Sharaku rushing to leave the street — something he seemed to not care earlier, what Shun said has changed something? — was the shadow of another argument, thought it was hard to assume anything when the opposite part doesn't even look straight to you. Should it be the case, Shun braced himself for what was about to come, his pessimistic side already anticipating.

In any instance, not too long later, they've reached a park. Alright, it was probably a better place to have a conversation of that significance. He was just...not getting what the older wanted to speak about at all. Though, for the first time since they left the street, he could have a better look of Sharaku's face. Was that redness a sign of what he think it is? Amusing, and cute in certain aspects, it was the first time he actually saw the always composed and self-assured Sharaku embarrassed to that level. He decided to not comment anything on this, complying silently to his request and just sitting down.

And then...what he expected to listen was said. He knew nothing good would come out of that. Shun just sighed, tired of endless criticism towards his behavior and deciding to not retort at that. At least he apologized for forgetting his birthday. — ...Is that all? — He said in a low tone. If that's everything he had to say, Shun would then leave. There wasn't much to say, he wouldn't try to defend himself. And his gift was delivered, should Sharaku accept it, so...nothing else to do. Shunnosuke was just there, waiting for him deliver his final blow. After all if Sharaku was hesitating, he had something else to say.

...something he'd prefer to not listen at all. So that's how he was perceived. Saddening, yes, but the teen knew it was true. What to say to that? — Perhaps I don't know how to deal with this either. You are...the first. — He looked briefly to Sharaku's face before averting his eyes to another place, a sad and ashamed look on his expression. — ...I'm aware I came out as desperate. — He released a short, airy laughter. "Desperate". That was a pretty accurate definition, and it pained him to acknowledge it verbally. — When we parted our ways...I realized what I was doing was just enforcing a feeling that won't come that easy. I can't make you like me just because I bought you a few gifts or just because I want you to like me as well... But that's how I viewed things back then. I wanted at least one person in this world to care about me and while I was not searching for anyone in particular, you seemed the right person. I don't know, my friends kind of excluded me of our little group, my parents were getting even more unbearable at home, maybe I was just feeling lonelier lately and got too carried away by the possibility, so I kept trying to matter what... — A small pause to gather himself, his voice was starting to crack again. Admitting he was selfish and too absorbed by his feelings of neglect to notice he was unintentionally putting a weight on Sharaku's shoulders was hard..albeit necessary. It wasn't the man's fault to begin with, it was his...but could someone really blame him for putting his wishes — not a petty everyday desire, but an wholehearted, personal and innermost wish — in the first line for once? Regardless of his self-centeredness, Shunnosuke had always been true about what he felt. — If that's what you're afraid of, you don't have to. I would never hurt you. I wouldn't before, nor now... — He glanced to Sharaku again with a rather unsure smile. Not uncertain of his words, but rather if he should keep this conversation going. This visual contact with the older would only make it extremely awkward...as if the level of embarrassment in that kind of talk wasn't high enough already.

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Sat Apr 04, 2015 5:13 pm

Hm, well yes, that was true. He couldn't say much to it. With a light huff, Sharaku would flop down onto the ground, sitting on the cool grass. Hopefully, it wasn't that bad of an idea to wear white today. It was the last thing he cared about now, but still. He didn't see Shun wanting that as wrong...but it was true that by pushing it, the teen only made himself appear overly clingl. And even a normal person would take a step aback in that kind of situation. Maybe less than he had, but who actually wanted a partner that acted like it was an apocalypse when they didn't get the level of care they were seeking? It probably wouldn't be an easy task to find a person that would be joyous about that, unless it was someone that thought in similar wavelenghts and actually wanted a guy that would hang onto them.

Though, he was a little unsure on what kind of caring Shun actually wanted. He was sure Hyde was always trying..was that not enough to matter? If he wanted to be painfully honest here...it was partially Shun's own fault. When you want people to not disregard you, then you shouldn't do the same to them. Wasn't that only logical? In case Shun spoke the same as he did a while ago about Hyde, Naomi and Sentinel when it came to other people...would it be hard to imagine why his other friends excluded him? Not everyone would bother swallowing insults, even when they were subtle. Of course, he had no way of knowing whether the younger did so... but it would explain a lot.

With a deep breath, he would look straight at the teen. ''..That's true. Yes. Simply wishing, or spoiling a person with gifts is not the best way to get someone to like you in that manner, unless they think on the same wavelenght as you. However, there are other ways. Sometimes, a smaller amount accomplishes more than a bigger one. Perhaps quality over quantity actually speaks volumes. It's okay to want to try when you wish for something..I don't blame you for that. Yet, trying way too hard doesn't guarantee that you won't be lonely any better than a different course of action. I do understand where you are coming from...there were times when I wanted that as well..and this is where it got me.'' He would pause for a while to pick himself off the ground, and move to crouch closer to the teen.

''...and before you start thinking that way, I am not saying this to make you feel bad about what you do. Talking about this is uncomfortable, yes, but being close to someone also means understanding more that just the matters that you are confident about. Besides, I believe we started this all from the wrong end. I already know all those big things, like your family problems...but the basic stuff just flew somewhere. If someone were to ask me, I probably wouldn't be able to name your favorite color, what you like to eat, and all those simple things for sure. I don't think I even truly know what you actually enjoy doing, because I probably wouldn't have that much trouble picking what to do today. And I'd say the opposite is the same. You know more about my past than you do about me in general. That is most likely good way to make the situation unstable.'', he would shift a bit, placing one hand on the bench, next to where the teen was sitting. ''I know you mean what you say...and I don't think you would actually hurt me...but fear is not easy to just ignore. I'm sure you were scared before...'' It's easy to say it. But the rest...It's like when you're afraid of spiders...does someone telling you they're okay make you want to cuddle them..? No. You can try to face it..but at any rate, it won't just dissapear right away.

''I think we just need to take it more easy. Do what feels right, but not overdo it. A slower pace, perhaps. Otherwise, we're just both taking a recoil blow from this.'' With that, he would smile thinly, letting the teen say something in case he wanted to. No, he did not forget about the gift yet, but he'd rather deal with that part after this calmed down. One step at a time.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Contrary to Sharaku's expectations, he wasn't really feeling bad. Whether he matured or not, Shunnosuke knew that was something he had to hear from someone else, even if it isn't something he wanted to hear in first place. By now, the teenager understood there are things that must be done regardless of your enjoyment. Facing himself was one of them. It was never easy, and changes, should they be necessary, won't come from day to night, but...he somehow was glad he was having this kind of talk with a considerate and gentle person such as Sharaku. The older may not know, but the admiration Shunnosuke felt for him only grew stronger. That said, the younger stayed silent for the whole time, taking his time to let everything sink in. "Basic stuff". It's not that he doesn't have anything to say about him at all, but...what? He never had this kind of introductory conversation before, most things people know about him are merely intuitive, a knowledge acquired by observation. Where to start? Shunnosuke thought repeatedly, lengthening the quietness between both. Hm, that is even harder than admitting his own flaws. — ...it's pink. I've always liked pink and I think you know it already. — He broke the silence for the first time, with an embarrassed chuckle that lasted so little. Sharaku would understand what he's referring to, or so Shun hoped. What next? It was hard to think of things to say about himself, he surely wasn't used to being inquired about traits of his. — People seem to think I'm into sweets, meringues and créme brulée, or even traditional japanese sushi and whatnot, but what I really like is spicy food. And alcohol. I've been taking piano classes for all of my life, but I'd like to learn to play bass one day. When I graduate, I plan to study overseas and be a fashion designer. Though I'm not sure if I'll ever do it, there's my family's company to take care of. — That could be a problem, eventually. Somebody had to inherit his grandfather's business, and it wouldn't be Shun's father, for he wasn't asian, or even his mother, who showed little interest nor discipline to live up to the role. Being still a sophomore meant he should not worry about it until two years later, when he graduated, yet visionary as he is, the teen couldn't help but wonder if he'll ever break free from his. Meanwhile, all that's left is to dream. — I like watching horror movies. Mainly to study the special effects and the details in the actors' makeups because, seriously, the plots and acting are usually pretty stupid and too nonsensical to even catch my attention. Aaand...I'm afraid of dogs. When I was a kid, two stray dogs ran over me, and I remember I tried to flee but stumbled and fell on the ground...It's been 10 years already and I still have the scars on my right knee and my elbow. — That's the first memory of fear he could think of the moment Sharaku said he had been scared before. It was odd to think about how he was okay watching horror movies but the mere sight of a dog, no matter how tiny and harmless it could be, was enough to make Shun feel uneasy and nervous. — Is that enough? — He looked back to Sharaku when he was done, a bashful smile upon his face. It felt awkward and the stupidest thing to do at first, but as time went on to make him open up to Sharaku, it definitely gave rise to another kind of emotion. As if he was blank and empty when that conversation started, but slowly progressed to paint his own colors and became, how they call, a real person. Whatever it is he was feeling right now...it was definitely fulfilling and joyful.

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:22 pm

...and Sharaku would wait in the same spot as Shun took his time thinking in silence. That was okay. He'd rather wait a bit than have the teen blurt out the first response that came to his mind, possibly making it more complicated again. He would blink at first, when the younger finally broke the silence, cracking a faint smile at the comment about pink. In a way, he suspected, but it was hard to be sure when Shun always acted somewhat displeased when he pointed it out in some way, whether intentionally or not. It had always been the most likely, but he didn't take it for granted before.

To say the truth, he was fairly surprised about this. He had not expected Shun to start telling him all this. In fact, he had meant it as a suggestion of what could they perhaps do later...but now worked too. Therefore, he would fold his arms over his knees, simply listening to what was being said. ''Yes, I think that is more than enough to start with.'', he would chuckle faintly, pushing up to sit next to the teen. If he stayed down there like that longer, he would just get cramped up. ''Maybe I should be glad I don't have a dog...then again I never liked them that much.'', he would rub the side of his face. ''I think you're probably still better off than me...I run from people, but I'm not afraid of stuff like dying. That's kind of lame.'', he would laugh under his breath in slight amusement. There were times when he even considered killing himself, and you couldn't really be scared to be able to accomplish that.

Other than that...''Hm. I guess it's my turn then, yes?'' It wasn't planned right now, but it wouldn't be fair to have Shun talk, and him say nothing. Not that he knew what to say. ''Ah well, since you said you bought me something in my favorite color, I'm guessing you know that already. Though, I have to say I didn't expect so. I rarely even so much as wear purple. Most people say black or white when they have to guess.'' Hey, even Naomi thought white back then when they somehow stumbled onto a conversation that involved colors. Not that he corrected her. It would be funnier to watch her keep guessing until she got it. ''Hmm. I wouldn't say I really prefer any kind of food. I don't even eat much in general..maybe that's why I look like a street lamp at times. Though, I guess I'm not too fond of take out meals...and I like mint or lemon flavoured things...'' Damn. This was hard. He usually didn't pay special attention to what he actually liked. Which was rather funny, seeing as he was the one that suggested this in the first place.

''I guess it's good that you at least know what you want to do. I'm not so sure as it is. I tend to jump from one thing to another. You already know that I was considering to learn how to play the piano..but I don't know what I'd do with that. I did play when I was younger, but I stopped because I got tired of my classmates making fun of me. Apparently, to them, it was girly. I still don't know why. Other than that...I like to move around? I mean, sitting home all the time is boring. I guess I'm good at stuff like gymnastics, but I don't do that often.'' Erm, that was that for now. He would give the teen a contemplative look. ''I bet you think I like cats, right? While yes, I sure prefer them over dogs and a lot of other animals, they aren't my favorite. But it isn't as if I could have a pet butterfly...Well, not really.'' Eh, he wasn't really upset about that...Hopefully Shun wouldn't laugh at that. That was probably a rather weird choice...

''Did I forget something...?'', he would ask, a sort of rhetorical question, as he looked at the teen calmly. For now good. They weren't arguing. That was a step up.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

While Shun was still moderately embarrassed by all of his confessions, he slowly felt at ease there when Sharaku started pointing out the little daily things about him as well. Which is good...great even. He'd definitely feel more idiot if he were the only one blurting out things about himself here.

His smile would broaden when Sharaku said he was sort of impressed that he managed to guess his favorite color without asking. Black and white do suit him, yes, but purple was, like, all over his place when he stepped in his apartment, it wasn't really hard to deduce, considering Shunnosuke had always been pretty attentive to Sharaku since their early meetings. While the teen was somewhat worried he'd sound like a creep stalker, Sharaku didn't seem to mind at all. — Mint and lemon. Got it. — Pretty easy thing to lodge in the back of his mind for future reference. — Butterflies, eh? It's a pity they have such a short lifespan. — Definitely a pity. Now giving it a deeper though, yes, he thought Sharaku was into cats, but a butterfly pet wouldn't be bad...if they lived longer, were overall bigger as birds and could communicate or form a bond with humans like cats and dogs do. — I don't know when people started assuming abstract things as hobbies or even clothes have gender, such narrow-minded views. If I were to bother about what people think of my sexuality by the way I act or the things I like, I would be a completely different person. I bet most people think a guy who wears skirts or is able to sew can only be gay. Well, may them be pleased, for I'm all of that. — He shrugged, nonchalantly. His family and coterie in general fit that description: old-fashioned and narrow-minded, yes. Not that it would prevent Shun's individuality to stand out, anyway; that's probably the only thing he didn't brake to please others' expectations upon him, no matter how much he was threatened for it, even if "others" meant people who retained some degree of hierarchy, influence and importance over the teen's life. All in all, he could understand where Sharaku came from; however he had a different approach in the matter. — ...I can still teach you. If you want me to, that is. You'll do good, you have good hands. — With so many confusions, misconceptions and arguments between both, the piano teaching kind of stayed on second plan. It would be awkward to teach him when they barely even would talk, unless it is to yell at each other. That said, he realized how inappropriate his comment may have sounded. That's even more creepy than observing this person to guess his favorite color. — ...alright, not the right thing to say. — He released a self-conscious and a bit more open laughter, and though his face gradually assumed a red tone to it, Shunnosuke didn't avert his eyes from Sharaku this time.

Subject: Re: The Time Flies [Shun] Sun Apr 05, 2015 2:10 pm

Hmn, maybe. He still had his magic butterflies, so it was fine as it was for now. Besides, the normal ones were too easy to squish, and would just fly away, no matter how long would they live by base. So it was kind of pointless anyway.

Sharaku would lean back against the bench as Shun talked about differenced between genders and the like. Well, it has always been that way to some extent. And he didn't particularly care right now. ''I think that always happened. But I don't really care nowadays. Besides, whichever side they pick is alright with me...therefore, there is no point stressing over it. Though, I can see how it can be annoying for those that are assumed to be what they're not all the time.'' Shun had it fairly okay still, since when they assumed, it was the truth. It would be much worse to be seen as gay when you are not. Thankfully, it didn't matter to him, since he was okay with both ways....of course, there were still things that crossed the line, like animals. But people that would say that about someone were probably hit over the head in the first place.

He would blink a few times, chuckling faintly, as he observed his free hand. ''Depends on what meaning you said it in.'', he would look over at the teen with a think smile. ''But yes, I wouldn't mind. Eventually, perhaps. I think I'll have to focus on staying alive after the next few days pass first, I guess.'' That was a big dent there. He couldn't really promise he would take the offer, when he didn't know if he'd be around for it. He wasn't planning to die or anything, but you never know what actually happens. He wasn't completely omnipotent. In case he was faced with something he couldn't handle...well, there wouldn't be much to do, would there? ''Ahem, anyway.'' He would rather not discuss a depressing subject for too long right now.

''I think I should probably look at this before I forget I'm even holding it.'', he would state in a somewhat amused tone, finally getting to that box he had in one of his hands. Hmm..soo. ''Well, I guess I can look like a girl now myself.'' Not that he minded that....It was interesting, okay. He would lean over to lightly flick Shun's cheek. ''But I like that. It's cute.'' Hmm, if it could handle his hair, that is. Ah well.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

"Focus on staying alive". The younger didn't have an immediate response to that, and he wouldn't anyway, as Sharaku quickly dismissed the topic. His words stayed on Shun's head, lingering... What if Sharaku died? How would he react? More like what would be of him if they never see each other again? That was a terrorizing thought, and he couldn't do anything about it but too feel impotent. And if he weren't completely distracted by dwelling on the subject, he would have noticed Sharaku opening his gift little box when it wasn't too late. Urgh...Shun really cursed the heavens and their mothers for not having told Sharaku to open it when he's not around. in front of him! His eyes widened in silent expectation, just like his heart raced in the last minute. Probably he realized that moment Sharaku was right about knowing the small stuff before the biggest ones; how could he be sure the man would enjoy his gift? — ...Did you really like it? — His expression was mixed between a blank stare and an embarrassed self due to Sharaku's little good-tempered gesture to his cheek, which made his entire face burn and flinch. Way to make the teenager disconcerted. Now..."cute"? Alright, that's a good sign, isn't it? Though Sharaku said he'd look like a girl, which is the main reason of why he stopped playing piano...so...did he or didn't he? — It was not supposed to make you look girly, I'm sorry about that. You were right, without knowing the little things about you, it was hard to come up with something to gift you. Back then, I was just focused on the idea of giving you something, no matter what...and well, I assume you're fond of your hair, it will at least help to keep it trim and not entangled. Trust me, you wouldn't want to go through that. — Shun said, in an almost apologetic tone trying to justify himself. He could tell Sharaku probably enjoyed his hair as much as him, and it has grown quite a lot in the last few months since they've met. Therefore, a hair accessory seemed like a good choice. Now he wasn't sure anymore, gee...

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