Phile's place to be Herself

Trash taste. Never hurts to prepare though.

actually more like a year but hey who's counting

Just got up from a 4-hour nap. 4 AM now, thinkin' this'll help put my sleep schedule back in some sorta track. Fucking exams looming over the immediate horizon ain't helping my anxiety none. So I think the day's going pretty well. Probably. Is this what fuels RP?

I can't really say what's been bothering me much about the site nowadays. I struggle to find the will to post, even after several times trying to find a reason. I used to love this place, especially back during Azores. I think Grantus did a terrific job for a first-timer when it came to DMing the plot. Sure, he had a few slipups here and there, but I think he still did a great job. The world he made felt very much like a living, breathing thing at times, with how events occured randomly every now and again, which made the experience pretty awesome. Plus, the amount of freedom in pursuing whatever we wanted within the plot was a big contributing factor as to why I liked it so much. The other big thing there for me was the VERY likable cast of characters that people played. They were all so rich and diverse in terms of personality and flavor, it really enhanced my experience. Characters like Sharaku Rikei, Hyde Mizumi, Jack Rannells and Rin Akinyi (to name a few) really stuck with me for a long time, and I'll probably remember them for a good number of years to come. Now, the only thing I regret about Azores was... probably my character, Mae. Or well... My portrayal of her, anyway. It was my first real character I started roleplaying with seriously, and I... I just feel like I didn't do her justice. But aside from that, Azores made me love the site, and the people here slowly became somewhat of a family to me. I know, it sounds really cliché, but that doesn't necessarily make it less true.

The Ueitawa Follow-up was another big part for me on the site. The amount of communication and work the team did in order to get the best ending was really quite inspiring. Sure, we did our mistakes, but the way everything kinda tied together, and how even a Rank 4 Pleb like myself could be useful in such a late-game setting was interesting, to say the least. I'm happy to see things like that, where the members work in such a way that even the weakest of characters can be of use. I hope we get to see this in Endymion and future plots as well. Oh, and a few friendships were forged as well. If it wasn't for Ueitawa, I probably wouldn't be on such good terms with Godai as I am today.

Then came Erisia, and while it ended abruptly, I still enjoyed the little time I spent with the setting. It was a rather nice deviation from the summer-like vacation that was Azores, and the almost post-apocalyptic feeling Ueitawa 2 gave off. It had a lot of potential, and I really wish that Rita could've pulled through with the rest of it. She had obviously put in a lot of effort in making the setting quite rich for a side plot. Hopefully we'll see more of it in the future, be it an actual plot, or just something smaller. Plus, Moonie and a few other people I met during that time were all pretty great, and in Moonie's case, he's still pretty great. A good guy I can bounce ideas with.

Endymion... has been a struggle for me. Not necessarily because of the plot or setting itself, as I really like the concept of NC's being seen as the good guys while the PU's are the bad guys. An interesting spin on the whole Nyar/Phile conflict. As for the setting itself, Endymion certainly is diverse. Maybe not as diverse as say Azores with all of it's islands, but still, it's pretty cool. Had it not been for the whole Divide thing and demons running about at night, Endymion is actually a place I could see myself living in. My character here, Batilde, is someone I actually adore. The way her persona and she interacts makes for good writing material, with Astrape being very sassy and headstrong, while Batilde's more calm and collected. Out of all the characters I've made, I feel like she's the best one I've made thus far. Hence why I'm struggling with figuring out why I'm not enjoying the site as much as I used to. Is it just because I'm burnt out, or is there something else? Sure, staff's been a bit... off at times, but after a bit of thinking and self-reflection, they're really not the issue here. Sure, they could do a bit better, but the same goes for all of us. No-one's perfect. We can't demand perfection from anyone.

I'm most likely going to stay on the site for a good long while, even if New Arcana or my passion for Roleplaying might be dying. I've made too many good friends here to just up and leave. My time here over the years has been absolutely magical. My posting may be slow for now, but I'm still trying to figure out why my drive has been waning away, and hopefully, I can reignite my love for Roleplaying again soon enough. Until then, I hope you all can stand with my slow posting regimen.

Thanks for taking your time to read all this. It's quite a big wall of text which I'm not even sure where it came from. I think I passed my three year anniversary on the site like two weeks ago too... Kinda crazy now that I mention it. Anyway, enough of my rambling. You've probably already had enough, lol.

Cooongrats on the anniversary and yeah, pfft you're preaching to the Queen when you're talking about burned out. There's so much stuff going on in life, Roleplay takes a back seat for the most part.

What fuels RP. you ask? My child, the drive to be creative and make something for yourself. Though I just got home from work and roleplay is the laaaaast thing on my mind.

Trash Waifu. Needs more Gaifus.

Husbandos, Phile. Not gaifus, husbandos. And that's cool. I figured a lot of people about our age are starting to feel burned out regarding RP. I'm the same. I most likely won't RP anything after Endymion. It just happens, really.

Hey, y'know what we should all stream watching anime together at some point. Y'know for once as a site. I guess. No, guys. I'm totally not shilling again this time.

Jesus fuck Godai stop the shilling.

Iunno, whenever I feel inspired to RP something it's usually after some heavy emotions. But I guess that goes for writing as a whole. I wanna ask, what got you into this in the first place, Phile? Of course, if you don't wanna answer, that's 'kay.

also if gaifus are gay waifus, is Shiina not enough?

I still come back cause I do tabletop with a group on here amd a group irl. Keeps my mind fresh with new ideas. I got super burned out after Azores though cause back then that was literally all I did in my free time outside of work. Lol.

I guess everyone hits that point in life sooner or later. I still love writing. Always have, always will... probably. I guess there's some truth to the whole emotions thing. I got on here the first time during a quite rough time in my life when I wasn't sure what to do with myself or where to go. Now, things have stabilized and I actually feel somewhat content with what I have.

Lol, I guess I just needed to get all that out of my system. Sorry that post was so long. ^^;

I'm fairly new to the site, but I've felt that burnout before with RPGs. I'm just doing my best to hopefully give you guys someone to RP with. You guys are all fantastic, and I hope to keep this site alive and well.
Besides, I would be too lonely without you here, Jer. Lui needs his partner in crime.

I hope everyone had a nice Father's Day and if your Father isn't there a Mother's day and if your Mother isn't there, a YOU day! I'm finally back home from a crazy adventure I'm too lazy to talk about. Went to work together... ugh, I'm spent..

What's everyone been up too other than waiting for mah posts fufu

I've mostly been working my ass off on two places. My actual daytime job, and hosting online tournaments for another community. Aside from that, I've had a friend visit too. Played games, watched some movies and bought some Manga from the local nerd shop (no Vol. 1 of Berserk so sad! Babyrage)

Decided to open up Devil Survivor 2 again since I'm working on that project. Got Jungo killed, which is nice. Nothing really much, to be honest, just had to pick up my sister from the airport on Saturday who'll do nothing, but watch Netflix for the next two week before flying back for summer school.

And I forgot it's Father's Day. I have dishonored my family. That's also great.

Exaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaams... And napping when I'm not studying for those. You coo, Phi?

Sweating my life force away working as maintenance for the local parish. Other than that, just finding times hear and there to get with my pals. Also trying to squeeze last battle out of the dash.

I've been wasting my time on tabletops instead of actually posting for people cause i'm le trash man