A Brief Reprise (Sharaku)

While it was true Oki was not injured from the battle itself in any physical way, the fact remained that ever since arriving back home the being had not allowed itself to rest. The stiffness had started to settle in a day or so back and only got worse the more it stayed active. When it was knocked out mentally from the battle, the body took advantage of the brief moment it had been out and in turn had become too stiff to move. Thus it remained on the ground still watching Sharaku with a sleepy gaze.

“Mmm…” the being would pause as it struggled a bit to get its arms to work again and once functioning it would slid them so that they became a pillow for its head. Watching Sharaku from under dark bangs the creature would continued. “We might not have been pleased, but not surprised either. Sharaku does what Sharaku wants after all. Oki hardly thinks how we feel matters much in that,” the being would say in casual tones before blinking as it heard the last part of what was said. “Then were you gauging us?” it would ask as it closed its eyes in thought for a moment. It supposed the fight wasn’t random. Just like Sharaku staying around wasn’t random either. Still, the creature wondered what the other wanted with it still. After all, it had failed the test no? So what else was the other seeking outside of test results? Curious human.

“Hmph! No Oki did not do so well, but then again. We did not expect it to go well either. We knew there was a reason to be scared of you,” the creature would pause as its eyes reopened. A light smirk would cross its face as its tone of voice remained laid back and causal. ”You may be pretty and graceful, but even pretty things become infuriating when one cannot touch it. You kept defending and in a way taunting us. In the end, we ended up playing a bit dirty to get our way, so we take full responsibility for your pains just this once to make up for it,” the being said as its eyes narrowed with a light grin. The creature seemed to be more amused than upset by the scolding. However, it would become serious as it closed its eyes and gave the other a nod at his question.

“Our plan is simple: dig into the mess, find the source or sources of these problems, and get rid of them,” Oki would say before it paused once more to push itself on its elbows. “Yes. Oki is weak…and we are sure there will be things that will threaten to take us out and maybe even people at your level or higher. We are quite aware of the threat and more aware of it than we like to admit....but we cannot stop in our path. We will simply have to find new ways to get stronger and until then do what we can to keep out of trouble…This be a big task considering we are alone on this path, but then again…This is just like last time when we served goddess. We were alone on that path too and made it to the end by will power and faith in our own strength. We believe we can do it again if need be...” Oki would say as it trailed and became silent for a while as its eyes dropped to the ground. It would let a few minutes pass before blinking and speaking again, this time its words were soft and serious as it kept its eyes on the ground.

“Oki does not want to be erased nor do we want to be alone in this, however, we have no choice in the matter. Even if pathetic, foolish, or what have you, we won't go down just because some force tells us to submit. Not if we can still at least try to do something about it all. We will keep fighting...” Oki would trail off as it balled one of its hands that rested on the ground into a small fist of determination. It had to figure this out and survive for the sake of its own existence and for reality's existence also.

“Why?” the creature would repeat as it closed its eyes with a light sigh. “Because we ceased to care for so long, it has become habit to assume the world and others do not care too. Even with some form of purpose now, the habit is embedded deep. Might be a while before we can unlearn it fully.” Yeah. It had its purpose and while it had its own version of care at play, this did not change the fact that at the end of the day, Oki was still broken and twisted inside thanks to two years of neglect and negativity. The cracks were deep and would not go away instantly. It was these cracks that would twist its usual perception of the world, but even so it tried walking forward again...

“What Oki does…right…” the creature would say the words in an odd casual way that sounded like it was apologizing for the brief forgetfulness. Although its wording was very odd. Perhaps this was a sign of a mind that was not exactly stable at all the time or maybe it was Oki being Oki. Not exactly dangerous at the moment, but a thing nonetheless.

Anyway green eyes would reopen just in time to catch the expression on the other’s face. To the look the being would smile lightly.

“Remember two years back when we were chatting on the bridge and Oki mentioned you were a scary sort of cat? It was not a lie. It is not a look, but rather an energy. It is very faint and we think only our shadows understands or can read it. We think it happens when a shadow is around other shadows for a long time or keeps running into the same one. Or maybe it is beasts in general since this sensation only flared up for shadows and wild animals in the past. Anyway when we met you, the feeling flared up only after a few encounters. It's kind of like a gut feeling,” Oki would say with a light frown of thought. The being had a sense ability that allowed it to survive and avoid danger on it own, but when combined with its shadow the sense became sharper. From what it understood, its shadow could recognize beasts and knew which ones to hide from and which ones it could maul. When it came to people it typically did not read them, but Sharaku? It began fearing him a while back, but maybe that was because much like a beast, the shadow could taste the danger the man's shadow held. It was a curious case for sure, but for the moment Oki would push the subject aside as others moved to take its place.

“Well we weren’t looking to only win. Just survive. Desperation is an odd force. Couple that with agitation and you have something far worse than determination.” The deadly combination left you with a beast that could not be tamed or reason with. Determination could be broken, but a creature fighting to live didn’t go down until it was dead. That was the difference between the winner and the survivor…and unfortunately for itself, Oki fell on the latter end of the pond.

“Hmmm..” Oki would give the other a tired smile as it managed to push itself onto its knee and then finally into a sitting position. It would rub its head, taking note that its hat had fallen off. Eh? Where did it go? “I suppose that cannot be argued,” the creature would say as its eyes drifted across the area for a moment and then spotting its hat a bit behind it, it would let itself flop backwards as it reached for the item just slightly out of reach. The stretch felt good though so it would continue this for a bit before relaxing once more.

“We can understand lashing out, especially if hearing is that sensitive. Honestly, in that moment we weren’t thinking about the consequence of making you deaf. We kind of just wanted you to stop hopping around. Besides we were grasping at straws for a moment, so we did the one thing we hoped worked,” it would push itself slightly to grab the hat before it was sitting up again. It would clip its hat to its belt before it pull its legs towards it with one hand an scratched its cheek lightly with the other. “Problem is it worked too well.” Yeah a huge wave of ice to the face was not exactly what it was expecting….

As for that other question, the being would be silent for a moment as it played with a piece of it hair twirling it around its gloved finger a bit as it thought. What did it fight for?

“…We fight for an end…” Oki would begin. “Not an end of the world sort of thing though that has crossed our mind as tempting in some cases, but rather an end to this pick and choose sides. Yes, we played puppet back then, but we fought with the hope that maybe if at least one of the thousands of wishes were granted this nonsense would cease. Alas we were too late and now here we are again. Back at square one and being puppet. I want to stop the machine from crushing us, but to do that we have to be in the system to find and destroy the main problem from the inside out. It seems the most logical of solutions when trying to get rid of this issue of gods and goddesses that plague us,” the being said as it let its hand dropped to its leg.

“Our view is limited we must admit. We may not see all the doors and choices, but focus is the only way Oki knows how to approach a problem. You adapt as you move. It is the only course that works when alone. Does this mean run in blind? No, but it does mean that something will be lost along the way as you move forward. Doors will close and things become frustrating at times…however, in the end the job gets done. Shallow perhaps, but what else does one do than what they are already know? As for what is gained.. Rest. Though I am not sure what form it may take…I still want it...” the creature would trail off after that letting the other take those words as he saw them.

Oki would frown lightly as it released a sound that mimicked a purr rather than a hum. It would be silent for a moment as it thought how to explain that one. How did one stop caring?

“It is a mind trick that one grows over time. Tell yourself it doesn’t matter enough times and you actually start believing the lie and in turn, you ended burying the heart under thick layers of ice. The longer the ice builds the harder it is for one to come back to the surface. Two years enough for us to bury the heart to the point where we saw most things as pointless and so not worth it anymore... and honestly we might’ve gone further than that if things that were lost did not show up again…”

Oki would finish as it absent-mindedly studied the ground. That question was a complicated one to answer, even more so thanks to the process working differently for each that it grab ahold of. Still, Oki did its best to explain it to the other from the way the whole thing happened to itself. Did it make sense? It wasn’t sure, but that was how it understood the process when it reflected upon it.

In the end, Oki would shake the thought away as it looked up at the other just in time to catch the blink. Not exactly registering why the blink had occurred, the being would blink back in turn before it was looking away a bit as something shiny caught its eye; however, seeing said object was just a piece of glass, the being would look back at Sharaku as he spoke. When it was asked the question, it would "purr" once more.

“It depends on which half of us you ask. Our human side would agree. Usage does have a big play in things as far as fear goes; however, our shadow side says no it doesn’t matter. A stronger shadow is scary because that means we will be eaten. It makes the answer confusing. Cause it be both yes and no,” Oki would say as it held its hands before itself with its palms open. Its green eyes would gaze from one hand to the other as if there was some sort of choice it had to make; however, being unable to make up its mind, Oki would shake its head as it rested its hands on its knees. “We cannot agree, so we cannot answer that in the right fashion,” Oki would say giving Sharaku an apologetic look. It was unfortunate, but Oki was definitely not as separated from its own shadow as Sharaku was. No. They were meshed together in a fashion that truly made the creature seem mad. Two personalities that shared the same body and face. Both considering themselves one and the same….A complicated and frustrating mess if one didn’t know what to do with it. Hopefully, Sharaku would have patience with it.

In any case, the look would melt after a few minutes as the creature did its strange head tilt as it considered the words the other spoke.

“Then Sharaku would not eat us?” A peculiar question, but one that was asked out of curiosity rather than malice or fun. The creature truly wanted to know just what separated the human from the shadow. Was there really differences? Could a shadow and human share the same body and not end up a tangle mess such as itself? Questions, questions…but did they have answers?

“Neh?” Oki would blink at the other a few times as it gave him a somewhat confused look. “Oki was not supposed to see that as life and death even if it was a test? Then how was Oki supposed to fight back seriously?” It was seriously confused at the logic of the other. All its time of being a lab rat had taught it one thing- test did equal life or death. So naturally it thought in those terms and thus did not quite understand what the other meant. The confusion only deepened as it heard the next words.

“But Oki does live and breathe and normally do not worry much about death, but in battle we kind of need that worry not too die,” the being would pause burying its hands in its hands as it shook it head.

“What does Shaku do with these words?” would be the muffle cry from behind the fingers. The words were a bit distressed, but not in a bad way. Just in the sort way when someone becomes frustrated with a complex puzzle. Clearly, he and the creature were breed in different ways…

In any case, the fingers of Oki’s left hand would shift revealing one green eye that was wide as it studied the other.

“We be glad Shaku be not as evil as that,” the being said as it let its hands drop from its face as the lightest of smiles across its lips. Even if the attack was out of anger, Oki was glad the guy had enough control over himself to not massacre it or others when he did lose his cool. If the tables had been flipped, the creature wasn’t sure if it could do the same with its unstable nature…

Anyway…

“Hmmmmm…” Oki would let out a hum before laying down and rolling across the ground to where Sharaku was. It would end its roll within his space bubble as it rested on its back and looked up at him with bright green eyes. Apparently even after two years, Oki did not learn to keep its distance from things.

“Well, Deva was not about uniformity, but about love really. We don’t think fulfilling her wish would’ve ceased our ability to live how we wanted. We think, it might’ve erased all the hate that causes much of the world problems today. At least that is how we translated her words. It might’ve been wrong path, but it at least it sounded more reasonable than other Wishes we heard. We did not consider not playing by the rule, so that door did not open for us like it did you,” the being would say as it remained where it was for now. “Oho? What would you suggest doing with the problem then, if not crushing it?”

Oki would raise its eyebrows slightly with the question. While it had its own way of doing things that wasn’t going to change any time soon, it was still curious about the other doors this one could see. Who knew maybe the insight could help it find new ways to skin the cow so to speak.

To his next set of words, the creature would close its eyes for a moment. “Mmm. We are different, but we wonder.,..is it that really bad? Do we have to clash because of it or can we perhaps use those differences to solve the a puzzle efficiently?” the creature would reopen its eyes as it looked off to the side thinking about that one. Sure, Oki could bend easily and adapt, but could the other do the same? Would Sharaku be okay with the differences? It was hard to say. Just as the issue of rest was not an easy one to settle.

“See that is just it. We don’t know the how of the rest or when we will get there. We just know that at the end of all this that is where we end up: resting. As for the protecting world thing. No, I don’t throw my jobs away so easily. Not until they are absolutely done. This new job will be no different,” Oki would say its word a bit softer at the end. Yes, it did sign up to help the worlds; however, despite its focused ways it was no machine. If needed it could change its path no matter the price.

“Perhaps that is because Sharaku is stronger than us in will power,” Oki would respond back in quiet tones as it green eyes drifted from the ground back up to the man. While Oki wasn’t the weakest person around, it had to admit burying the pain was much easier than facing it. It took a lot of work and time for the being to bring itself face-to-face with what tormented it. The demon waiting for it was always too strong for it to handle alone. It was indeed its own worse nightmare; however, that was a story for another time.

Oki would blink and tilt its head at the other’s frown. Its own expression was calm despite the rather odd situation at hand. “No? Then what does it mean if you are not food to the strong?” Oki would ask, its thought process clearly not the logical one a human would take. It was hard to say, but maybe the merging had done more damage upstairs than one could imagine. Or maybe spending two years in a life style where the rules were exactly kill or be killed and eaten were the rules did it. Whatever the case was, it was safe to assume the creature was broken in a fashion that warped how it viewed and understood the world. A problem? Maybe. It would depend on how one viewed its words and how said person handled Oki.

“Mmmmmm,” Oki would tilt back slightly as it let out the sound. “We mostly agree, but sometimes how we feel on subjects differ. We can analyze and not agree in an non-threatening situation; however, when push comes to shove we end up lining up. For example,” it rock forward so it was sitting again. “If we had to decide which to choose in a battle, then we would choose not to be afraid so much of Sharaku. Might seem odd, but despite fear we kind of like you and believes in the end that it be okay to trust you. If this were not the case, Oki would not open this subject to you.”

The creature would say as it closed eyes for a second with a light nod. Its way of thinking was very odd, but in the end when it truly mattered its shadow and itself were one. Sure in a situation where it didn’t feel threatened, they may seem disconnected and split...and perhaps in those spaces they were; however, it seemed the pair knew when to be separate and when to act as one. A strange thing, but that was simply how this dual-natured creature worked.

“Eh?” the creature would let out the sound as it gave Sharaku a confused look for one second as he made such strange faces at its words. It was not comprehending fully where this one was coming from or how cannibalism even had a part in this. Was it not the rule of the world to be killed or not be killed? And if you did get killed, was it not logical to eat rather than waste than kill? Was it wrong in its thinking?

Oki would scratch its head as it absorbed the words said. It was still a bit perplexed about the whole thing, but it tried to see it from a normal human stand point. It was a bit of a struggle considering its mind had been warped over time, but eventually it would simply nod. “We guess we understand…” the creature began, but then became still and quiet as the other narrowed his eyes and continued to speak.

What occurred next was quite odd and in turn would receive a strange reaction. It would start with a female voice that sounded tense and a bit distressed.

“This is weird,” she would say, but then the voice would shift back to Oki’s normal voice. “Yet fascinating.”

The female would respond again. “Perhaps I should stop him.” Green eyes would glare at Sharaku coldly, but just as quickly the expression would change to one of a child looking like it was about to become upset.

“But why? It is fun!” Oki’s voice would say sounding clearly upset before once again the expression changed to a serious one. A frown of disapproval would appear on the pale face as the female spoke once more. “He is mocking and taunting me.”

The expression would become blank as the creature looked up at the sky. “Is he really?” Oki’ voice would ask before the pair were becoming silent for a bit. The creature would lower its head once more and look over at Sharaku. Displeasure was in its eyes as it watched him silently for a moment. “…”

The time would tick on, leaving for the first time ever the shadow of Oki face-to-face with another. While it was true she feared the stronger shadow, she did not appreciate being taunted. Still…Oki did have a point, so she would consider the man before her a while longer…that was until Oki’s voice disrupted her thoughts.

“Well?” Oki would say causing the shadow to look to the side clearly put out. However, the end answer would be directed at Sharaku.

“I am not playing your damn games, so do whatever the hell you feel like doing. It’s not like I am your mother or something,” the shadow would say not really making eye contact with the other for a moment. She was clearly peeved; however, what came out of this would be left in the air for the time being.

In any case, the being would eventually shake its head knocking itself back to its original state of being right between the pair rather than letting one or the other of the personalities take over. As it did this, it would hear the question asked.

“We have never run test of our own. Typically, the test is run on us…and failure always meant death or something far worse than it. In turn, we expect that from tests, so forgive us if we sound rude, shocked, or naive in the matter. It is just what we know…” the being would say as it looked down at the ground as its mind sunk back into less pleasant thoughts of the past for a brief moment. It would eventually look up at Sharaku with an unreadable expression as it raised its eyebrows slightly.

“A game?” it would repeat before falling silent to think on that. After a moment it would shake its head at the other. “No. We were never given that door until now…and even with such a door open we cannot suddenly undo what we were conditioned to do. We are not sure if it can be undone; however, we can try the view and see what happens…”

Who knew maybe it could actually lighten up and not rely solely on instinct to survive a battle. It would probably be safer for itself and the other involved, but could it really learn such a skill? Hmmm…It didn’t know and probably wouldn’t know unless it actually applied the way to its life in some fashion. In any case, it was a thought that it would place on hold for now.

“We have live on the survive or die path so long we honestly could not see it any way outside of life or death. Yes, it may not make sense considering we know each other, but in battle that sort of logic does not apply to us. It is either killed or be killed…though we don’t think we could pull the trigger so to speak even if we did manage to beat you…Still it is a bit alarming when we analyze just how dangerous not being able to separate the method from play and an actual problem truly is. We don’t know how to change that way of thought though…We may be too deep to change….” Was it even possible to change the way one was conditioned to act? Could it really be changed 100% even if it did try looking at battles with the lenses of a game? Or would something linger behind? Would it revert back?

Again the many questions without answers came. The being would frown at the train of thoughts before it was closing its eyes a bit as it heard the next words.

“Afraid of death? No…” Oki would shake its head and reopen its eyes. “We are not afraid to die. In fact, we are more comfortable with it than most would assume. Even so we are not looking to just hand ourselves over to it so easily, so we fight to remain alive. Confidence honestly has nothing to do with that choice. It is simply a given. As to the problem itself…You can say we have unlearned living in that fashion and shelled up….A fear to live....because to live in that fashion would mean facing somethings we carry….and if those thing we carry were to surface again we do not know if we could handle them….” Oki would say as it looked away looking quite uncomfortable as it rubbed its left arm. If it were to live again, would it survive the hell that would be unleashed by taking that step?

The creature’s seriousness would not fade as another question was asked. If anything it became darker.

“….”

It was quiet for a few more seconds making it seem like it wouldn’t answer, but then it would speak.

“Evil is many things. Faces, people, objects. It all these things and more. However for us, evil is killing, but not in the literal sense,” Oki would let out a small sigh. “We told you before that when we failed a test death or something worse was the end result. It was not a lie. We….saw the end results of many tests ran. Saw what happened to the failures; however, when it came to us, we were not granted death. Instead, we were left to suffer in ways we do not know how to describe in words. Being killed slowly by the torture up here,” it would tap the side of its head briefly before letting its hand drop once more. “Evil is taking everything that makes a person themselves, crushing it, and reconstructing it for your own selfish desires,” the creature would give the other a hollowed look before blinking and looking away again. “Sharaku has a heart…so he is not evil…”

The being would say and then fall silent after that. Oki would remain unusually silent as it stared off to the side at the buildings around it. It seemed to be trying to find something it had lost and when it did finally found that something, it would shake off the foul mood and perform the roll. When it was questioned about said action, the being would blink.

“We felt like it and so did,” it would say in response. It wasn’t worried about being injured or getting dirty for that matter as it had lived in much worse conditions in its life time. It was used to a bit of dirt and grim and it wasn’t really harming anything either, so why not? The creature would grin sheepishly after a bit. “Besides rolling is easier than trying to get up and walk the distance at this point…" Yeah, it would be awkward trying to get up after this with stiff legs, but it would deal with that when it when it had to. In any case, the creature would leave the answer at that. If the other wanted the answers to his other curiosities when it came to the rest of Oki’s odd habits, he’d have to probe a bit more for answers. That strangeness aside, the being would stay where it was for now not moving unless shoved away or told to move.

A small frown of thought would come to its face as it considered what it heard. “Shaku doesn’t think humanity would find different values in the new society? Sure, love would be the center, but we don’t think it would consume humans fully like that. We don’t think they were trying to control us in such a restrictive fashion, but offering us various ways to build the future,” Oki would say before letting out a light hum. “Maybe we translated goddess's words wrong, but it didn’t seem that extreme back then…otherwise Oki does not think we would’ve fought so hard to protect it.”

The angels and what they offered was a complicated situation…even more so when the ideas presented were translated so differently. It made the being wonder if one idea could’ve actually won back then. In any case, the different view gave it something to think about for a bit until the subject of solving problems came up.

“What makes them tick…” the creature would mutter the words as it mulled over that option. It had never considered trying to get into something’s head and beat it that way. It was an interesting avenue, but….

“We would need clues to go that route. We can explore on the other side easily enough and thinking on it, if we can make an exit for self then we can probably make exit for others too if needed, but clues may be scattered on both sides. How do we approach that?” Oki would ask looking up at the other for an opinion. Maybe a plan could indeed make this easier. It was worth a try that was for sure and anything to help make this large task easier was welcomed. In any case, Oki left its mind open to other options for the time being; however, how that ended would be up to the other.

“Mmm. We suppose that makes sense,” Oki would say as it rested its hands on its stomach. It suppose one really couldn’t make a judgment call when it came to others and how well each got along with the other. The tide was always changing and with it the people in it. One never knew when that person they hated would become an ally and the vice versus...

Compatibility was a complex question for sure and it probably didn’t have a real answer to it. Still the creature had asked to see what the other had to say on the matter. While the answer could be called disappointing, for some reason the blunt logic was kind of comforting to Oki.The comfort would continue to linger even when the subject became a bit darker as Lady Death was brought into the picture.

“Then we suppose what we desire is unattainable then. While death is comforting thought at times, we are not looking to throw ourselves to it just yet, so we guess we will keep walking until we can figure out how to obtain the unattainable,” Oki would say as it gave the other a small smile. “Oki’s twisted light at the end of the tunnel. We find our own way to it without Lady Death’s help.”

Oki would leave the subject there, letting the other interpret the words as he wanted to. Its concept of rest…perhaps it was something only it understood.

Oki would listen to what was said as green eyes drifted away from the man and towards the ground. Yes, this one was a lot braver and stronger than itself in many ways and perhaps that is why he stood on solid ground and Oki stood something less solid.

“Own up to our feelings…” it repeated. Heh. It wish it had more courage to do that, but if it were to turn right now and face those memories and negative emotions…It wondered would it be consumed by the beast there? Did it really want to know the answer?

“…” Oki would continue to look down as it messed with a string on its pant as it mulled over what was said. Maybe it was easier for Sharaku because he had already learned to face the problem long ago; however, Oki did not know how to do that yet. If it were to face itselt, the task would not be easy. Even so, the words gave it something to think on. The creature would remain silent unless poked further not really coming out of that strange zone until the idea of food and strength came into play. As this new topic got tossed around the creature would look back at the other as it listened.

“No point…. Not food…” Oki would say as it seem to space out for a bit as a gloved finger tapped its chin in thought. It would take a moment, but when the creature did respond, it was not Oki who answered, but rather its shadow.

“I see. I suppose the laws are different here then. How strange,” the shadow would mutter and then seeming to snap out of it Oki would blink at Sharaku. “Well…we suppose that makes sense too…” the creature would say and then nodding it would actually smile.

“Well then, we are glad Shaku chose not to eat us,” the creature would say its voice back to normal. Yeah…its warped perception of the world needed some work, but at least it seemed that even with this strange understanding they were making some form of progress in the logic department. At least it seemed the shadow and human side agreed that this logic was sound.

On the topic of logic, let’s analyze the non-logic of Oki’s brain.

“Both statements are fact. We don’t agree on many things, but most of the time they are trivial disagreements. When in danger we do focus more and sync up better; however...when it comes to outside choices it honestly just depends. Sometimes we can agree easily and sometimes we disagree and take some time to mull over it. While we agree to disagree on trivial matters, we understand that things like people and other choices outside of battle are just as important to make decisions on…We just be less graceful in execution. We think aloud and fight here and there, but in the end…we find what we think is the right answer. Our thought process is unstable, chaotic, and not at all logic or explainable…but when it matters we figure out an answer we can agree upon,” Oki would say as it reached up and scratched its head with a frown. It honestly could not explain its thought process without becoming more confusing because in the end it worked off a lot of contradiction and internal clashes that somehow managed to find a sound end when it counted.

Sure, it was a frustrating process for the other party because Oki did come off as confusing, but that was simply how the creature worked. It was a quirk that one simply had to be patient with lest they go mad trying to figure out its ways.

In any case, the conversation would continue on to more confusing topics that while Oki tried to understand them, it honestly didn’t know if it grasped the point in the right way. However, when said subjects were not revisited, the creature would let the thoughts go before participating in an exchange it honestly didn’t mean to happen. While Oki’s shadow was typically quiet, it seemed that the other’s demonstration rubbed it the wrong way and in turn knocked the creature out of its more innocent mood as a different personality took over it all together.

For a while, the pair would ignore the other as they argued amongst each other; however when they had ended the fight and the shadow took full control, it would see the smile given by the other, but only gave back a peeved glare.

“Mother was just the best comparison I could think of and whether you meant it or not, you did it anyway. You say I am no fun, but perhaps that is simply because you don’t know how to play with me. Typical. Since most don’t figure out the right method until it’s too late and no I won’t explain the right way. You have a brain so figure it out. As for sticks, they don’t belong in anyone’s ass and they are most certainly not in mine,” the shadow would tell him with a frown as green eyes speckled with gold watched him. Yes, the shadow side of Oki was not playful at all. In fact, she was quite serious, easily offended and threatened. She was a hot-head that could come off as a pain in the ass if one didn’t know how to meet her fiery temper. She hadn’t always been like this, but over time she had become quite bitter; however, how the other reacted was up to him, the shadow wasn’t going anywhere for the moment and it most certainly wasn’t bowing to whatever this one was throwing at it.

In any case as time ticked on the moment would pass as Oki returned to itself as the subject moved onto other things that made it think more.

“Hmmm…Perhaps you be right. Though we do not know how to work this way of thinking…Still, we will try and maybe things will change…maybe they break….We don’t know. We cannot see things so well when things go outside of the box we understand well,” Oki said as it rubbed the bridge of its nose slightly to release some pressure there. What was being said it understood to some degree, but suddenly changing? No. That would not happen, but it could at least try something new and see how it worked with its very strange way of thinking. Who knew maybe something useful could come out of it. At any rate, it was something else to ponder upon for another time.

Oki would rub its arm a bit uncomfortably as it was asked a question that required it to go back a little in the past. “They did nothing physical. More mental things that were worked deep in the brain. I think it may be impossible if the mind is too deep in…how do we put it?” it would pause looking for the right words. “Too deep in quicksand to be saved?” That was not the saying, but then again the saying wasn’t the point. The creature would shake its head and continue. “We are not sure if the damages already there can be patched up or not. We can try…but we are not sure that it can be erased. We feel somefink may linger. Thus impossible to fully fix,” Oki would tell the other with a light shrug. Maybe one could lie to themselves about something, but actually fix years of damaged to a pschye that was barely holding itself up anymore? Oki was not sure if it was too late for it or not. Could it really be saved from itself? ….It did not know the answer and at the moment did not have the strength to face it or the next topic.

It would flinch slightly at the questions as it frowned uncomfortably as its eyes looked away from Sharaku. “We…don’t want to be a slave to our issues, and yet we don’t know how to face what is there. We know it is unhealthy, but….” The creature would trail off not really sure what to say any more. It honestly didn’t want this baggage with it, but somewhere along the line its will to fight back was lost and now after resting at the feet of the monster so long not looking at it, Oki did not know how to pull itself from the hole anymore. Where did it even begin with that? How did one actually stand up to something that big?

“Hm?” the creature’s pondering would come to an end as green eyes would drift back to Sharaku as it heard the question. Who was it?

“Oki is whatever the world perceives it to be…at least on the outside. In reality, we are simply ourselves. A creature that exist in a state of internal chaos…” the creature would say to the other before falling silent. It would let the other translate that as he saw fit. It didn’t quite understand why the question had come about and so did not know how to properly answer the question. Still…at least with the answer given it was admitting it was a mess internally and had much to clean up if it truly wanted to be free of its demons….

Strange thoughts and even stranger moods aside, the subject would move to the topic of evil to which Oki would only hum as it thought about what was heard. “Perhaps they are not people I see then. Maybe it be demons wearing a human face. It is hard to tell these days…” Oki would say the words softly as it thought out loud as it rubbed its chin. Evil was a hard thing to define and yet the creature knew it when it was staring it dead in the face. Strange how something with so many faces had such a distinct scent and presence to it.

See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil. Just roll and so too this topic would run its course before Oki changed its position and rolled over to Sharaku’s side. Staying in its resting position, it would blink up at the other at the question.

“No. We don’t feel anything,” Oki would tell him honestly. It really didn’t feel anything, even more so thanks to its now hidden condition. The only way it ever knew it was hurt or tired was when it actually collapsed or someone pointed the damage out. Even when it did see damage it didn’t register pain or discomfort. As for the ground, sure it understood that it was hard and maybe under normal circumstance uncomfortable, but for itself? It just felt pressure against its body, but nothing bothersome.

“Shaku experiences something different from being on the ground?” the question while on topic might seem quite strange…especially if the other didn’t know it lacked the ability to feel normally. Still, it asked the question anyway wondering what others really did experience when they were on the ground or made those strange face when struck by something unpleasant. However, whether the other decided to humor the creature or not, the creature would eventually hum as it considered the words being said by the other. It would let listen to the whole speech, mulling over different points and what if scenarios as it remained quiet for a while. Things could’ve gone many ways back then, but in the end….?

“Perhaps your conclusions are right and perhaps they are not. All we know is that the past what ifs are left up to speculation now considering in the end humanity chose to give the ideas presented the finger and go down a path vastly different from what was proposed,” Oki would say as it continued to let its hands rest on its stomach. It wondered…If an angel had succeeded would the world be like it was now? Would this new problem have even occurred? Would something else have taken its place? Didn’t really matter now did it? Still it was a curiosity that crept up here and there when the chaos within was calm.

Oki would give a light nod of understanding to the other. “We can see what we can find on our end about that and maybe figure out some other things too,” the being would say as it sat up with a bit of difficulty as the stiffness from earlier set in fully. It would have to add this new problem to its list of things to investigate in the future…if it even had time to do that that is….

The creature would ponder this for a bit more as it sat next to Shaku facing the opposite way the man did. However, it would let out a light snort of amusement at the next comment as it pulled one knee upward and lean forward to rest against it.

“Can you really box personalities?” it would ask not really expecting an answer from that. Sure boxes make the world much more orderly, but also less logical. No personalities and what they were compatible with were too varied for that. If they were to box said personalities, the boxes would be too weak to hold their energy.

Heh. What an amusing thought. Exploding boxes…He. Heh. Hehe. Hehehe.
Wait...

What were talking about again?

Luck?

Eh?

Oh yeah! Got it.

“No you cannot secure anything, but that still doesn’t stop us from trying to get to a certain point in life. Not a full focus lest we miss something in the now, but at least it is something to work towards,” Oki would say to the other with a small smile on its face. Yeah the world had a way to toss ya about, but that wouldn’t stop the creature from believing in something better.

Green eyes would drift over to Sharaku as it took in the words it said. Well, he had a point, but…
“Yes. Some do paint the world with pretty paints and perhaps others like ourselves do fight with each ourselves more than we like to admit, but tell us. How do you accept the bad self after running for so long? How do you stop and face the beast?” Was it really not being itself by running from emotions?…Or was the act of running in fact a reflection of what it truly was underneath? It was a complex question that did not seem to have direct answers. Even so, Oki seemed to have its own form of understanding of what was being posed, but at the same time it was at a loss as to how it could actually face itself. It highly doubted that it could be explained, but then again that wasn’t the point of the question posed to begin with. No. It was looking for something else with its inquires. The real question was could Sharaku figure out what said something was?

Oki would let time unravel that mystery as its mind shifted a bit with the subject. Flipping briefly between its own personality and its shadows, it would mull over the topic of food taking note of the silence that was given until the very end. To the words spoken, the being would blink in a sleepy fashion as it watched him with a serious expression.

“To be devoured doesn’t necessarily mean to be eaten in the literal sense. It is a form of destruction yes, but sometimes the eating comes in the form of collecting pieces of the defeated and show casing them to the world. Being eaten means you cease to matter as the strong dominates the world. That is the basic rule of my world. Intelligent or not, the strong always remain on top and the weak either perish or quietly submit to their fate of being on the bottom rung. Survival is the rule of nature that I thought applied to all species, but perhaps humans are more different than I first observed,” the shadow would say her voice calm and actually civil despite her moody air. Was she actually taking the time to understand a species different than her? And if so why? Did she just want answers? Or was this a sign of something else? It was hard to say and if she was poked on the matter she more than likely would not clarify.

Neh? Oki would blink at the other a few times before rubbing its head a bit. “We…” It paused, shook its head and tried again. “…I did not realize the impact that had upon a person or how that made them think about our..no myself….Try…I will try to fbe more aware of that, so confusion is lowered,” Oki managed to get the word out with some difficulty, showing that maybe underneath the agreement the pair had to use the royal we there was still a bit of the old Oki underneath. A sign that perhaps the true source of the problems it had was indeed itself. It had been running so long, it had unintentional buried what made it itself. A fact it had been in denial about for a long time until now. It was a hard fact to face and to be honest it wanted to shy away from the flaw, but…it could not if it wanted to fix itself. So despite the discomfort, it let the conversation continue with this ugly fact leering at it.

Discomfort would eventually go away as its shadow took over and started throw her moodiness around. It was enough to make a weaker person cry or maybe even become angry, but Sharaku?

“…”

A blank look, a low non-hostile growl, and a blink. For a moment, the shadow did not respond to the man as it simply considered him with gold speckled eyes.

“Oho. Should I?” The tone used was amused rather than snappy as the creature’s moodiness would take an unexpected shift and turn into something similar to pleasure? Yes. The creature did seem pleased, but why? Huh. Did she perhaps appreciate him stepping up to her? Hmm… perhaps the mystery would never be explained for just as suddenly as the shadow seemed pleased, the amusement would fade as it settled into a much more mellow mood.

“Mmm. Figures of speech. That is a strange name for such sarcasms and games,” she would say as she closed her eyes a bit thinking. Yeah…Oki’s shadow was an odd and unpredictable mess, but it seemed that under it all she could be reasoned with…if calmed that is. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she seemed. Maybe…

Now where we? Oh yes. Boxes.

“Yup. Yup we have many boxes. We stack ‘em all over the place to keep sanity…Though Oki’s box be broken a bit methinks,” the creature would say with a hum before it considered the next set of words. “Perhaps Sharaku has a point. We cannot say, for we have yet to try anyting. Hrmm…”

While it was still uncertain what it would do along the way, it supposed it had to start its path somewhere. Who knows? Maybe trying would actually get it somewhere nicer. It wasn’t sure. Even less sure when forced to examine said thing that held it back.

“Well we suppose so…” Oki would say trailing off as it continued to hold its left arm in discomfort. It didn’t want to admit it, but the guy was right. It was kind of running from its own self a task which was ironically impossible to do. It just couldn’t face the pain. No….it was too weak to do that….and yet…

Green eyes would drift back to the other as he spoke on strength causing the creature to look off to the side once more. Did it really have this strength he spoke of? If so then why couldn’t it face its demons? …Was it really a matter of can’t anymore? The creature would stay quiet and simply absorb what had been said. It wasn’t offended or anything like that. No far from it. It just had a lot to think on at the moment. In any case, it seemed for the time being the creature would not go any further on this topic. Maybe it had settled that this was just something it had to sort out on its own.

….

“You see?” Oki repeated with a tilt of its head. “What were you seeking?” it asked quite curious about the odd question that started this whole leg of the conversation. Why had the question of who been posed and why when answered Sharaku was cryptic about the end result? Did he like being confusing or was there something else involved in this? Had it even asked the right question to get said answer? Curious, curious.

Oki would play with a piece of its hair absent-mindedly as it ponder the next question. “Sometimes it is and at others it is not. Many things get clouded the more complex the thing hidden is,” the creature would say its tones soft as it ponder the various classifications of evil and demons for a while longer. That was a complex subject with no direct answer considering like with many things it was left up to the perception of the one viewing it.

“Mmm. We don’t feel pain. We feel pressures or weakness when things are strong enough or even bad in a way. For example, I am laying on this ground, but the hardness is not hurting us. It’s just pressure that is not going to help us in the long run here, but that is beside the point. Same applies to if you were to cut us. We would not feel the pain associated with it like normal. It is another piece of Oki that is broken, we think,” the being said with a small frown. There wasn't really much else to say about that. It was simply what it was. It just didn’t feel in the normal sense of the word. Thus it found the answer given about the ground a bit fascinating. Huh, so some people would hurt after a bit while Oki simply had to worry about stiffness? Intere- Eh?

It would blink as it saw the poke coming, but didn’t move as it allowed the action to occur. It felt the pressure associated with the poke, but that was it; however, this trivial matter was far from its mind as it looked to the spot that had been poked. Was it injured or something? It didn’t see anything that suggested such a thing, so….what was the poke for? Oki would look back at the other giving him a questioning look. It didn’t quite understand what had just happened there.

“Perhaps not. It is hard to say without being able to ask one, but maybe being unanswered is best in this case,” Oki would say as it watched the clouds for a bit.

When it came to the angels, there were a lot of what ifs left behind. What ifs that were probably left best for the imagination to play with rather than gain any form of true answers from. What if the truth was a lot worse than they were even thinking? Heh.. Another what if.

“Heh,” the creature would begin as it struggled to get into a sitting position. “We didn’t need your permission for that.” Oki would get into a sitting position with a light huff from the struggle before it looked over at the other with a small grin. It was poking the other lightly with its words, but in the end the creature would look into the matter. After all...it wasn’t just for Sharaku’s sake. If they were going to figure this mess out, then it would be kind of nice if everyone could move about both sides and not worry about getting stuck. On the other hand….that could make a mess. It would be kind beneficial to know the ends and outs of this travel...and also if there was anything else it needed to concern itself with.

“Oh? Figure out the ticking of the creature and you figure the creature out? Well what happens if what you think makes them tick is wrong? What if the ticking is out of sync? What if psychology fails?” The creature would rest its head on hand as it looked over at the other with a small smile. It wasn’t exactly shooting this idea down, but it had to wonder if the human mind could really be figured out like that. Sure some things could probably come from examination, but would that be enough to truly figure out said thing that was being examined?

For example, could he figure out what made Oki tick?

After Sharaku had spoken and started studying the creature, Oki would meet his gaze evenly before blinking as it shifted in its spot and leaned over toward the guy to give him a kiss on the cheek. Provided the guy didn’t do a palm block or something, the kiss would be a small one that held no romantic ties to it all. No.

This kiss was something different, but what that was Oki would let the other figure out if it was successful. Regardless of what happened, the creature would eventually lean away from the other observing him for a bit debating if it really wanted the answer to the other’s study of itself now or later. Hmmm….

“Mmm…” it was a light groan of discomfort moreso than anything that escape Oki as it heard the answer given. It kind of figured it was going to end up that way, but at the same time it was kind of hoping for some sort of guidance on how to even step out on the platform to board such a horror ridden boat. Was there really a right way to approach it? Everyone said one had to figure it out by themselves, but how? It was quite frustrate…huh?

The frown and thinking that had been caused by the statement earlier would cease for a moment as Oki focused on the question posed. What made it deny parts of itself.  

“…We suppose we are afraid to see what is there and even more so now that we are actually considering trying to face it. We…don’t want to be crushed by it…Fail and become something much worse, then this sad state,” Oki would say as it gave the other a small frown. It wasn’t that it was trying to use Sharaku as a scapegoat for its own problems. Far from it to be honest, but even so that did not change the fact that this issue had made it much like a child quite lost in the chaos with nowhere to turn or any guiding light to show it the way out. It was scared of itself and alone in the mess…and maybe if this conversation had not come to this point the creature would still bare that uncontrollable hell in silence. However, Sharaku was asking questions that made it pause and reluctantly turn to face things that it was running from. The affair was…highly uncomfortable and yet….some part of Oki needed kind of needed something like this to occur.

Even though it asked odd questions and sought out help maybe what it really needed was someone standing on solid ground to stand firm and push back a little when it was falling apart. It was odd, but somehow the calm from the other gave it a bit more strength to stand....even if it still flounder around a bit.  Regardless, the creature at least seemed to be slowly attempting to figure out its way, so it was perhaps a start.

“I have never questioned the way our particular kind work. The breed of shadow I come from has always been like this, so we do not know if it was fear or not that made the ones who were strong behave that way. I always saw it as pride and confidence and the fear part being fulfilled by the ones that lost or were weaker. While I do share a body with a human per se...I never took a moment to actually consider humans as nothing more than simple beings; however, you prove they are more complex and confusing than I first thought. You have all these rules that do not cross my kind’s mind. Your kind is very strange to us. Very strange indeed,” the shadow would say as she took in the words spoken as a contemplative look crossed her face. She honestly did not understand how humans worked and while the conversation here was shedding some light on the matter, at the end of the day her view would remain twisted to her own understanding and logic in some fashion, but even so. At least she was being slightly open-minded by at least considering a different view than her own. Maybe she could learn a bit and change. Who knew?

Oh dear.

“I…” Oh screw it. That way of speaking required too much thinking.  It would try again. “We were trying to be serious and more solid in our decision. We figured maybe it would come across better with the use of singular instead of plural, but it came off more awkard than we expected. We understand what you are getting at and like we said we will try to do better as far as making our answers more solid. Try not to think out loud as much or…what it is called? Baffling…no…babbling. Maybe that will help to make things clearer," the being said as it returned to its natural speech pattern. At least this time around it sound more sure of itself than before when it stumbled over words. As for that comment that followed. “Well we started talking to ourselves when we were alone and agreed that we was better to sum us up. So it stuck after a while,” Oki said to the other as it gave a light shrug. That was…really all that was to that issue.

Speaking of odd issues, just what did Sharaku think that he was doing now? He had managed to tame the beast in some fashion only for a second later taunt it with a challenge? Was he trying to make the shadow mad or was he simply testing his limits? It was hard to say, but whatever had caught the attention of the other. The shadow would glance at him with an unreadable expression before it would grin through Oki revealing sharp teeth within the pale mouth. From there the body would shift in its spot as it the creature scooted closer to the man watching him all a while.

“What if I am?” it would ask its voice quiet and yet not exactly hostile. While it was true Sharaku was sticking his hand in a fire so to speak, it seemed the shadow was trying to feel him out in her own way. Unlike Oki, the shadow did not exactly know the man outside of observations and now that he had caught her attention, she was quite curious as what he would do now. Maybe she liked his boldness. Who was to say? Regardless of wherever that went, the shadow’s fiery nature would cool slightly when the subject of metaphors and figure of speech came up.

“We never took them into consideration like that. We simply use them when no other description works for us,” she would say and then to the question, she would glance at the other. “A fox is a common animal. I am kitsune, a long distant cousin to the common fox, but vastly different,” the shadow would answer and then tilt its head. “And you? Do you have a natural form?”

It was an odd question, but the shadow figured that with the man would be able to figure out what she meant. After all, he had already proved himself adaptable, but how quick he was on his feet was still being tested. Regardless if the other humored her or not,  the conversation would move on to boxes.

“Erm…” Oki would look up at the sky in thought as it tapped its chin with a gloved finger, trying to find a way to explain it. “We suppose it’s like placing real items in a box. You pick up things and place it in a box label it and then place in the attic in its own spot. Except we file thoughts instead. Some are better at it than other and Oki is so-so at it, right now, but it helps keeps us focus. Even if broken it keeps us from wandering to far….without boxes we think we would get nothing done. Too easily distracted from tasks we would get; however, we also suppose it depends on what works for a person. Some like boxes, others no like them. We kind of need them to make sense of upstairs…to a degree,” Oki said with a small shake of its head. If it weren’t for it keeping boxes, it would surely be mad at this point…and no one wanted that…

“Hmm. We suppose that is true,” Oki would begin before giving the other a nervous smile. “But we are not exactly going to be jumping for joy here. This stuff be a bit much all at once, but we are going to try and swallow it.” Well the beauty of that statement was at least it sounded calmer than before, so something was working here.

Hm? Oki would blink at the chuckle its head tilting slightly with the perplex look it gave the other when it received the short answer to its inquires. It wasn’t sure what all that meant and while it wanted to pry further for the time being it would let the curiosity drop. It wasn’t sure, but it was thinking that if it tried to dig further it would get nowhere and maybe this was one of those case where it was okay not to know everything. Sure the vagueness was bothersome, but Oki didn’t sense any deceit out of it, so maybe it was okay...? Maybe. It was hard to tell.

From there the creature would fall silent. A small nod was the only response the other would get when he responded back to another piece of the conversation. With such a simple answer, Oki understood that the subject matter was being dropped and so did not try to force the subject any further. As for the topic of pain…

Oki would blink a few times at the first set of words and then hearing the second, the creature would close its eyes as it finally understood what was being asked. “Mmm. Let us rephrase. We do not feel the sort of pains that harm the body on a physical level,” the being would say as it shifted in its position so that it was able to lean against Sharaku…if allowed that is. There was a high chance that he could push the creature away or react negatively, but unlike before where it was joy that had caused the creature to give the other a hug, this particular action if allowed had a different meaning. Whether or not the action was allowed, the creature would speak.

“We have emotions…as much as we try to block them out we feel them quite well daily. Sometimes we feel too much and at others just right. For example, this here. Being in space bubbles, hugging, and even act of leaning on you occassionally. When I do these things to you, I feel safe in a fashion. Safe and grounded," the creature would say in soft tones before moving to away slightly to observe the other. “Kind of like family with you…at least on my end that is how it feels.” The creature’s eyes would narrow slightly with the small smile it gave as after two years it let a bit of the pain come forward.

It was a lonely creature these days and while it did not seek pity, it had to admit having Sharaku here now was something that needed to happen. Even if they did not agree or butted heads. The meeting was a necessary step on whatever path it was heading down. In any case, the creature would let that subject run its course before focusing on another that came up.
To this other topic, Oki would let out a sigh of thought. “Mmm. Well, we like to dig so perhaps if we dig far enough we can find solutions to the issues at hand. I am not sure if the angels had anything to with now either or if they were just a thing that happened and pass at that particular moment in time. What I do know is things have seemingly gotten a lot more chaotic and confusing without them there. I sometimes wonder if they were perhaps barriers to certain things,” the creature would say as it pinched its chin lightly in thought. Did the angels have anything to do with the current mess? And if so what was the connection or meaning of that? Would it ever really know?

To the calm expression and simple words given back to its slight poke the creature would close its eyes with a faint smile. “Yeah we know,” it would say in soft calmly showing that despite the poke it was being serious about the situation. Yes, it played and grin, and maybe at times the simple act of smiling might make one think that Oki was far from serious; however, to make such assumptions would do no good. The creature always had a line between fun and trying to smile through something tough. The poke from earlier was simple one of the latter examples. Unfortunately, Sharaku was more stern and did not seem to take well to the poke, so Oki backed off for now as it fell quiet until the subject of ticks and people came up.
As Sharaku spoke the creature would take in the words as it leaned back on its hands with a light hum of thought. “Alright we can see that logic. We suppose we just never stopped to observe those sort of thing. We have the tendency to react and adapt to what is thrown at us in the moment rather than stay back and study the pieces presented. You pose an interesting view though we are not too sure how it really works. On the surface it seems not very practical, but maybe we miss the point,” Oki said and then blinking it would glance over at the other as he asked his question. “No it is not and I suppose there is three true fails. One: You fail due to simply quitting. Two: Your task drives you over the edge.  And three: Miscalculation leads to death. Outside of that, I suppose you don’t fail as long as you get back up again and keep at it,” Oki would say and then tilting its head at that last part, it would blink once more.

“Hm? What you mean?” Oki would ask not quite following the comparisons that seemed to jump from one thing to another. What was up with that? Was he trying to confuse it or was he making a point? It was hard to say as the creature kept watching the guy in silence for a moment longer.

Things would remain quiet until Oki decided to kiss Sharaku on the cheek. The other didn’t react to it at first, but then slowly, but surely he would ask a simple question to which Oki would close its eyes as it leaned forward with a slight smile on its face.

“It is a way of saying thank you for putting up with us. You may not realize it, but this whole encounter has kind of helped us figure a few things out. It was the best way to we know how to express it the gratitude,” it would say softly before snorting lightly as it re-opened its eyes to roll them. “Yes. We probably should’ve warned you or something, so sorry about that,” the creature would say as it remained leaned forward, its head resting against its knees it had drawn up to itself as it let the other take the matter as he would.