To Have Loved and Lost [Shi's Epilogue]

Shi pushed her hair back off her shoulders, smiling brightly as she looked around at her siblings. Seeing all of them made her so happy, especially since some of them left to assist their guests. She waved hi to each one as they returned and went on their way, sitting on Igor's table as she looked up at the ceiling. It had been a little bit since she had checked on her guests in particular, but then again, she could just watch over them like she always did. Either way, she felt like exploring a bit, since sitting in the room was getting a tad boring. Waving bye to her master, she walked towards the door of the room and exited into the real world. It was a different place from Ueitawa, but existed in the same universe. Some place with a different event, only because Nyarlathoteps effects on the world could not be stopped completely. Of course that didn't bother her much, since she knew her guests were strong enough to push through and defeat the forces of evil.

Tomoe's sacrifice had changed Shi quite a bit, as her imprisonment never occurred, and she was allowed to grow as an attendant without all the struggle it took her to be accepted. Also with that, her appearance never took the drastic change it did when she became a Nyarlathotep child, and most of the memories from that life were erased from her mind. Of course she wouldn't want them at this point, knowing she betrayed her birthright and gave it up just for love would have made her sick. Either way, it didn't matter to anyone at all. The Shadow Soki was never released and there was no reason for Shi to have met her, meaning her love never developed, never existed. But love was overrated, and wasn't a distraction the oldest attendant needed ever. Though she continued walking down the street, not really looking backwards as she made her way to the nearest shop. Elizabeth had said she needed something from here, but she couldn't remember what it was called. Once she remembered what the item was called, she bought it and brought it back to the room, noticing one of her guests sitting on the couch near the entrance. Her eyes widened as she ran over, blushing like a child.

"Kirto-san! I'm sorry I was getting something for Elizabeth! Is there something you need?" The girl laughed a bit, placing her hand on the back of her head. "You're the one who asked me to take you out to explore; you didn't forget did you?" She thought for a second, placing her hands on her face as she sighed. "I'm sorry I did. But we can go if you came all the way here just for me~" She smiled at her guest, who grabbed the attendant's hand and started to lead her towards the door. Shi followed her for a few steps and slowed to a stop at the door, looking back at the room. She got images of fights, and of a different Shi, using Alice to battle shadows. The image quickly shifted to the image of her fighting with a compendium much like hers but it was black, along side a white haired woman. They were brief, but it seemed to be more of a deja vu than anything.

The guest frowned slightly, stepping into the attendant's view. "Shi? Are you alright?" It took her a few seconds, but she snapped out of it, smiling again. She didn't respond, but she only nodded, and the girl looked her up and down before moving towards and out the door. Shi looked back and sighed, it seemed some of her old memories from the other life were coming back, but then again she had no idea that's what they were. She thought to herself for a second before again shaking her head and sighing.




She laughed slightly, and then began to cry. Shi hadn't cried in this life, not once. So the fact that she was in tears did catch her by surprise, more than she knew it would. "I want to apologize to her, but I have no idea who she is. Was that even real?" She fell to the floor, catching herself with her arms to make sure she didn't hit her head. "Whoever you are, I'm sorry, but I feel like I let you down. I feel like I let a lot of people down, and I want to say I'm sorry but..." What was even happening, was she really apologizing to people she didn't even knew existed? "S... Soki..." She rubbed her eyes, sitting up on the ground as she looked up towards the ceiling. "Soki... Tsurinai..." She wiped her tears away, standing up as the continued to look up. "I feel like I forgot you from a different life time, but I promise I won't forget now. I have no idea who you are, but I'm sure I loved and lost you. Maybe one day, our paths will cross, and I will be able to meet you once more. But I feel like giving up my duties would be a bad idea just to look for someone who might not even exist, so I will stay here for now. Please forgive me for now." She smiled a bit. "But... Know I have always loved you, Tsurinai-san." It was weird, she felt as if these were words she was supposed to say, as if they were in a script and she was reading it. She was sure that was something, and finding out why this happened was the first step. For now she would exit the Velvet Room, to meet with her guest and have her show Shi a good time. No use letting 'old memories,' ruin her day.