Once Again [Mae]

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:45 pm

''......'' He would remain quiet this time around. He kind of didn't think that was all there is to it, with he way she was reacting. Pushing the matter wouldn't solve anything, though. He wasn't sure he seriously wanted to know anyway. It still felt weird to be questioned like that, but he would leave it be for now. He didn't want to have this turn around by saying something he shouldn't, which happened often in case he voiced out how he found something to be off.

He would sigh. Honestly, he just wanted to faceplant the couch now or something. In truth she wasn't making it any easier, despite the fact that she may think that was exactly what she is doing. Perhaps it was also his own fault for acting the way he did, but he kind of couldn't help it. In many cases, he was actually a great speaker...but that was when he spoke about...well, basically anything except his own feelings, really. He could speak on someone's behalf better than about himself. It had always been an issue, just with a varying intensity. Regardless, he was bound to hesitate when it was something that obviously mattered, and it had to be about what he felt. Yet, that didn't mean he had no real answer...in his own way. The problem? It was always either or. Either someone didn't know when to quit, and kept pushing him past his limits within a situation. Or the exact opposite. Giving in too quickly, when it wasn't really necessary. And then he kind of didn't know how to approach the situation further, because it was only that much awkward. There were times when it was actually good to be a bit...well, forthcoming with him, if you wanted to get something. He has his ups and downs, really. He could both be assertive and not. It depended on the atmposhere, most of the time.

Complicating the issue further was the fact that....she would probably be waiting forever if she wanted a well thought out answer on this from him. He would never settle on the exact words to say. Perhaps he could be a bit of a perfectionist when it came to this, which clashed against his nature to constantly reevaluate the given situation he was dealing with. This was another reason why he often opted to not talk about his feelings much, unless it was in the heat of the moment, some sort of argument or whatever, where it was easier to just say something without thinking ahead. He approached these matters differently...if he could. Considering what his style was....it was just about never. He would probably always struggle with wording these matters to a degree, no matter what. Only proved by the fact that he could ponder over something to no end..and then would only say a sentence or two aloud. Because it just never sounded right when actually voiced out. So...what to do? For the moment, he looked a bit dejected, but say nothing. He found it hard to go against her when she adopted that kind of stance on the matter.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:10 pm

When he didn't respond, Mae tilted her head at him, with a slightly furrowed brow. Why did he chose to stay silent...? Did she say something wrong...? He looked a bit dejected... Perhaps he didn't really like her answer? Or was he just simply not able to think of something to say in response? Or perhaps he did, only that he was... afraid or hesitant to voice it, in fear of how Mae might react to it? Was that it...?

Her hand would slowly reach out for his cheek, as she directed his head to look at her. "Sharaku... don't be afraid to tell me how you think or feel, even if it may sound wrong, or something... I won't hate you for that... I promise. Just... be true to yourself." She spoke in a very soft, calming tone of voice as she caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 2:11 pm

''..........?''

He would just stare at her for a moment, although he wasn't resisting anything she was doing. He wasn't as surprised as he could be. In a way, she was decently predictable in regards to this, after a while. It wasn't...a bad thing, per se. She was rather soft, which he could come to enjoy at certain moments, but it could also be too much. Surprisingly enough, he was after things that could be seen as sort of opposites sometimes. And he was also uncertain as to whether it would be something she can deal with properly. Her stand towards most matters suggested she was the more mellow kind, first of all. Which could possibly get in the way.

Be true to himself, heh. Were he to truly do that....what would she do? Seeing as she was already a bit awkward when she went out of her way to ask him about the hugging, and stuff like that, he wasn't sure. It wasn't that he was truly afraid. Perhaps there had been a time when he could have said that he was, sort of. But not now. It was more about...prefering to be cautious with certain matters. He didn't want to shock people to the next Monday out of nowhere. And yet, she was kind of asking for it right now. Hm. Should he then..? He kind of had nothing to lose at this point. She would probably keep asking him and the like each time it came down to a situation of this type.

He would give her a lopsided smile. ''You're asking for something...that you may not really be expecting. Or actually want to handle. But I suppose we won't get anywhere without this, will we?'' Sometimes you just have to risk it. That's all there is to it. She was kind, but probably not perceptive enough to realize some things about him. And he knew he didn't make it easier by acting the way he often did. He was not as mellow as he may seem due to his more practiced way of behaving, really. ''So then....'', he would smirk lightly, moving all of a sudden, using the moment of surprise to topple her into lying on the couch, leaning over her, his hands on the sides of the couch.

''Play with me.''

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 2:46 pm

"Hm?" Mae looked at him with a raised eyebrow. What was he getting at... Maybe he had indeed taken her words to heart, in a way... Maybe. "What do you me-KYA!" Mae squealed out as she toppled over, followed by a giggling fit. "Hihihi~!" She hadn't really expected this, but... it was a very welcome suprise. Two years ago, she might've reacted poorly to this sudden advance, but now, she welcomed it, in her own way. So, he liked her... He wanted more out of this relationship than just a friendship...

and that was exactly what he was going to get...

Mae wrapped her arms around Sharaku's waist, as she looked him straight in the eyes, with eyes burning with passion. Her timid facade was as good as gone... When she opened her mouth to speak, she spoke confidently a request to Sharaku...

"Kiss me, Sharaku..."

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:22 pm

Eh...? He would blink a good few times, processing her reaction. For one, he didn't appear to mind the touch. It would have been odd if he did, seeing as he was the one to push her over in the first place and whatnot. As for two...well, no, it wasn't exactly what he expected to happen. On the other hand, it clarified some things for him. Which was good in a way. Afterall, he did not specifically state that was what he was after. And while he could see it as a possible angle of view...the fact that she assumed that one to be the intended meaning right away said something. Thankfully for her, he wasn't too startled by this approach. If anything, the direct application of this was something he had more experience with than the cutesy talk stuff. Still.....

He would lean down though, but only to blow some air against her ear, followed by an amused chuckle. ''Getting ahead of yourself, aren't you? I never said this was what I was after, have I?'' He didn't seem to be offended by it though. ''Is that what you really want...? I knew something was off when you kept asking me all those things, but I wasn't aware you were that eager.'', he would tease her lightly. Despite all that, however, he remained hovering over her, fairly close. It would suggest he had no actual problem with the closeness and all, but wouldn't do anything specific for now. Well then, the next move was hers.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:37 pm

Mae puffed up her cheeks, frowning a bit. Not that she was irritated at Sharaku, but mostly so at herself. She had completely misjudged the situation, and that was largely her own fault. "Aww, you tease!" Mae said, crossing her arms as she flicked his nose. "Well, you didn't say anything... at all, so I just... assumed, I guess?" Not a really good choice of hers, but what could you do. At least he didn't seem to be against it... And if he was, he didn't show it. Geez, now she suddenly felt like a fool... She had gotten ahead of herself too much. Bleh.

"Yes..." Mae said, looking into his eyes again. "...Is that wrong of me to want this... Sharaku?" He had always been a good moral compass for her whenever she felt lost, or didn't understand something... And there was something else which now popped up in her head... Did he even feel the same way about her...? Well, there was only one way to truly find out, and that was asking him straight up. Beating around the bushes with this subject would get her nowhere.

"...Are you okay with this? Do you want... me?"

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 5:30 pm

''It's fun.'' Definitely still amused. And he wouldn't deny the teasing at any rate. It was something he liked to do in the right situation, yes. His lips would curl into a smirk. ''I did say I wanted to play. Albeit, that can mean a few things. Kids play too, and they don't do what you thought about.'' Of course, their current position could suggest the not child-like kind of 'playing', but there was still no proof. For all she knew, he could have just wanted to wrestle or something. There were a few possible options once you gave it some thought.

''Hm...'', he would go quiet for a bit at her inquiry. Was it wrong? That wasn't something he could truly answer for her. She would have to figure out whether it was right for her or not, in the end. The concept of right and wrong is rather blurry in matters like these. ''...that is something you should be able to decide for yourself. Think about why do you really want this. And whether the notion you're acting on is one you're sure you wouldn't regret soon after. There's no general right or wrong for this. We are both adults and can make choices for ourselves afterall. It comes down to whether you yourself believe that what you're about to do is right for you. Only you can assess your own feelings towards the matter.'' It was her own call. He couldn't decide what was wrong or right for her specifically. It was her life, and her choice of action. There's no law book for personal relationships, as long as you aren't going against basic human rights. Such as commiting rape and whatnot.

As for the other one....that was tricky. He would stare at her in consideration. Was he okay with it? Fundamentally, yes. Did he want this specifically? Frankly, undecided in a sense. Besides, he was uncertain about how far she expected this to go, really. He didn't really have a penchant for sudden hook ups. That much was proved by the fact that he hadn't been with anyone, with the exception of a few kisses, for what...5 years by now? And even then, all those years ago, it was mostly a result of curiosity and whatnot. He found out fast enough that it wasn't his thing to just go for that. Well, he could, but it was....different. ''Mm, that's the question, isn't it? I'll have you know this. I prefer to not go too far without it having a meaning besides it being in the heat of the moment. I've not gone past simple kissing with anyone for good 5 years. That ought to say enough. It largely depends on what do you expect this all to lead to.'', he would state after a while, giving her a thin smile, his attitude quite lax for now.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 6:22 pm

"Well, I guess so... Sheesh, I must look like a fool." Mae said with a nervous chuckle. She certainly felt like one. But hey, as long as he wasn't discontent with her, that's fine. "So, what did you want to do? Wrestle?" Mae asked, mostly as a joke, but with Sharaku, you never knew. He was a tricky one to read. If he wasn't, Mae wouldn't be in this awkward spot to begin with. Oy Vey.

Why she wanted this, eh? She had a number of reasons why she would want to. But the biggest one was because she had undeniable feelings towards the man... feelings she had struggled to keep hidden... Mae had seen this as her chance, and she took it, unknowingly that it wasn't really what she thought it was. And although the circumstances could've been much better, she didn't regret this in the end... He was such a wonderful, and nice individual that Mae truly felt like spending most of her time with. Things like that took time, yes... and she had known him for a decent amount of time, and back then, she had feelings for him too... but those were different, and not truly genuine, in a sense. Now, her feelings were different, and much more pure than they had been two years ago. She didn't mind the claws, fangs or the shadow at all. It was the person that Sharaku had become which she liked more than anyone else... "...Then yes... This feels right..." Mae said with a slow, yet confident nod.

She listened to his words carefully. "...I want a happy life together with you... Wherever that takes me, I dunno, but I..." She certainly wasn't out just for the physical pleasures of a relationship. Oh, no far from it. Sharaku was a man that she would wholeheartedly want to live with for a good amount of years to come, if he wanted to as well. If kids happened to get involved at some point in that future... she didn't care about those parts right now... she could worry about that once it became relevant... if ever. She might just opt to adopt a kid, just like Kinaku had. "I want a future with you, Sharaku..."

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:13 pm

''In the end, we are all fools.'' No one hits the target all the time. That would mean you are too perfect to even be an average person. He would give her a laugh. ''Maybe. Maybe not. Let's put it this way, in regards to your original thoughts. I do like physical touch in general. It doesn't have to be that particular type, however. I'm game for anything.'' She was free to take that as she would. He wanted to see what could she come up with anyway.

He would tilt his head slightly. ''Interesting.'' He had not expected such a straightforward answer, seeing as moments ago, she was trying to ask him for advice. Certainly intriguing, in a way. She could be odd at times herself. Uncertain enough to ask, but still seems to have made up her mind quite fast when he said it was her own choice. He would stay at that, until her next statement, at which he would shift, leaning up close, so that they were basically nose to nose. He appeared to be inspecting her, his gaze probing. There was much left to be answered. She was saying that, however...despite his willingness to test the waters as far as this...he could still admit she was making quite the intense decisions right there. They had met only barely two days ago, after such a long break. They didn't even start dating yet, and she was already talking as if she was completely certain she wanted to settle with him. How peculiar. She might have seen more of him than a good deal of people he knew. He wouldn't deny that. But a quick evaluation was never the most sound one. He was quite the high maintenance partner, and not an easy one to handle in a serious relationship. She couldn't know what it all would be like in a longer run. Feelings alone are the first step. But rarely the last as well. ''Such blind faith. We haven't even dated properly, and you already sound like you're almost proposing to me.'' It was almost like he was analyzing her. ''Show me why do you think this is bound to work. I'm interested.'' It wasn't exactly a command, but there was a certain air of intensity around him. Did she have anything to back her up?

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 7:30 pm

"Oh, really?" Well, she learned something new... so he liked physical touch in general... that sounded a bit odd, but Mae was never one to judge others based on what they liked or disliked. In the end, that's all it was, opinions, and while they were a part of what made someone into who they are, they hardly defined a person as a whole on their own.

When Sharaku moved up face to face with Mae, she smiled a bit awkwardly as he looked her in the eyes. Was he scanning her? "Oh Geez... You misunderstand me, Sharaku... that's the end goal. Of course I wouldn't skip the dating aspect, silly." She chuckled gleefully as she poked him on the nose. "Show you...? Mind elaborating a bit...? Just so I don't misunderstand again." She scratched the back of her head, with an apologetic smile on her face. "Well, I'm not out for a one-night stand, if that's what you think. Hmph." Mae said with a light huff, as she crossed her arms. Oh dear, how was this going to go...?

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:06 pm

''Yes.'' He wasn't sure whether she realized what he was even talking about though. Seeing as she was asking like that. He knew he probably sounded a little odd with that, but there was a reason why he said so. She probably wasn't following his train of thought right now. Then again this was probably putting some late notice pressure on her, seeing as she hasn't seen him act like this before.

He would pull back a tiny bit, puffing up slightly. ''I'm silly?'' Was he? Well, he could get caught up in the moment sometimes. Still, there was no denying that she had originally worded herself in a way that made him want to inquire further. He would guffaw lightly. He had been asking her to show him in her own way. He had no rule for that. As long as she didn't hit something he disliked a lot, he was game. You have to speak for yourself, right? Dictating what he wanted would not really do. If she wanted to make a proper relationship to work, they would have to be able to coexist, while still being themselves. Telling the other person what exactly you want might make them do things that aren't quite genuine to themselves. It's not like he had been mad about her original misunderstanding. He took it as it was, settling things on the go. ''You ask too much. Do what you want. I'm looking for your stand on this, as an individual. Not to make you do exactly what I expect. I won't bite your head off.'', he would drawl, somewhat teasingly. ''I don't quite think you are. But I'm still curious.'' She didn't appear to be the type to go for that. Besides, from what he knew about her, he didn't think she had even done this before. It would be odd to give it up just like that.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:28 pm

"Heh, alright then... That explains things..." It certainly did. From all that she had been doing uptil now that involved physical contact had met no complaints from him. So, he liked that stuff, eh? Well, that was certainly interesting news. As to how she would go about using it, she had no clue yet... but at some point perhaps it would be appropriate.

"Yes, you are. We both are, to a degree." Mae replied with a light chuckle. Admitting that she was a bit silly herself was true... "Just look at us, for christ's sake." Yeah, if someone walked in on them now, that would've been awkward to say the least, as this could be taken in so many different ways. "My stance in this...? As in how serious I am...?" She replied with a teasing smirk before she kissed him gently on his right cheek. She would then move away slowly, without breaking eyecontact. "You're very important to me, Sharaku... don't underestimate your own value...." Her right hand would slowly search out his left one, resting it ontop. "We'll have to see that for ourselves, no? We can't know anything for sure unless we take the plunge, now will we?"

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Tue Feb 23, 2016 9:22 pm

''I would hope so.'', he would remark languidly, choosing to not ask what exactly did it explain for her. He would probably see eventually, was she sure of whatever her current realization was. He could live with the mystery for a while.

Hmmmm? Yeah, he was looking. And what of it? ''I'm not seeing anything too out of ordinary. Is our current position meant to be silly?'', he would ask somewhat curiously. It was perhaps out of place in case someone saw them right now, but was silly it? In all honesty, he didn't really care what people would think. It's not like he was doing anything legitimately inappropriate right now. He wouldn't stoop as low as that. Not without an agreement on it in some way or form. Even then, there were things he wasn't quite interested in. He would give an amused chuckle at her actions. How cute. Hopefully, he wouldn't overdose on the sweetness and die. ''That almost tickled.'', he would stick his tongue at her. Serious or not, he couldn't keep up the face right now.

''Mmf? Am I doing that? I wasn't aware of it.'', he would state, flicking her nose lightly. He was just saying? He wouldn't think his personal value had much to do with the fact that he had wanted her to do her own thing. Not as long as he didn't think that way. He would hmph faintly, closing his eyes. ''Right. Right. I know.'' And yet, talking about it wasn't easy. Perhaps he was just indecisive in nature. He wouldn't confirm something like that too ahead of time. Not obviously. He'd test out if it felt okay, but as flexible he could be, he was also elusive to an extent. Getting a full confession out of him towards such important personal matters was a lenghty process, really. Maybe it was even best to not ask too much. He'd come around at his own pace, was he to decide he wants to. One needed to be able to read between the lines when it came to his stand at times.

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Wed Feb 24, 2016 5:39 am

Mae chose not to reply to that one... it would be a bit more difficult to explain why she thought the way she did to him. Out-of-place most certainly. Mae chuckled gleefully in return. "What so funny? You said I could do what I wanted." Yet she did restrain herself a little... perhaps moreso for her own sake than Sharaku. She didn't want to take things too fast, as last time it didn't work... and it was better off this way. Well, he certainly was amused by her course of action, if nothing else, so that was a plus, right?

"You're important to me... more than perhaps you could imagine." Indeed, he was. Out of all the people she had met on Azores since she had gotten here, Sharaku had been the one she was the most fond of, for a variety of reasons. He was a nice man, who always had the focus on bettering others than himself, which was very noble, and something she could relate to. His general wise insights on problems and solutions was always welcome to her, and despite him being a bit rough around the edges when it came to communicating, she could see his intentions were pure. He didn't mean to cause any harm in the first place, even though his wording might suggest otherwise. She knew he wasn't the best at formulating himself at times, and it often got him into arguments... Knowing how he thought about things made her understand Sharaku a bit better. "Call me foolish, or whatever... but it's your caring nature, putting others before yourself and your personality... it's attractive to me." She said shyly, squirming a bit where she rested. "You've always looked out for me... regardless of how I might've treated you in the past." And that would probably never really change, now would it? "So... Sharaku." She gave him a determined look. "Do you wanna go out with me...?" Someone had to take the first step, and since Mae had brought up this conversation to begin with, it was only right of her to be the one to ask...

Subject: Re: Once Again [Mae] Wed Feb 24, 2016 6:36 am

''That I did. Doesn't mean I can't be amused. You act too cute for your own good.'', he would chuckle lightly. He had no actual problem with that. It was just that tickly touches were more of a source of amusement than anything else. He certainly wouldn't mind a rougher approach, that is, generally speaking. Not any particular things in mind for that, for those with a dirty mind. Too much softness was hard to swallow at times. He'd do things like cuddle and whatnot, but he wasn't really a teddy bear. And he didn't always like feeling like he was being coddled either.

He would just huff lightly. It wasn't that he didn't believe her. But he could still have his reservations towards some of her statements. They haven't been in contact for two years. It isn't the easiest to go and claim how someone is so important, when you probably wouldn't have talked to them again, if it wasn't for the coincidental meeting. That, and perhaps he just had a tendency to be skeptical towards big amounts of sweetness. Yes, perhaps he had a hard time imagining it. ''Well...I can hurt people too. You haven't seen me fight yet. I don't always have to be nice..'' It wasn't a habit, no. He certainly didn't prefer to act in a negative way, but he was quite capable of it in some situations. Even if only due to his Shadow's nature. He could always turn around. It just wasn't his normal state. ''You could say I'm a walking contradiction of sorts.'' He really was, on many things.

He would hum lightly as he straightened up for a moment. Leaning over like that constantly was starting to cramp his muscles. ''Well, you don't pay for a try. No guarantee how this goes, though.'' She would have to be prepared afterall. He wasn't certain on what he truly thought as of yet. And while he knew what kind of impression he had of this, that was not something to use as final judgement. Not just yet.