A day of rocks [Sada]

"No, the desire is always present. However, the reason for it always seems to change. Stronger, more relevant. Is it a valid answer to say I want it so i can have it? Because its something I don't have? Or...i want it for another purpose in my life? It's all of them, all of those forms of reasoning are true, with me I mean. " Sada would then shake his head. "But it in philosophy of destroying something initially, when its built back, is it weaker or stronger? Now don't get me wrong, that's not my only intention with power, but "Destruction" isn't as so clean cut. Even if there is one positive to hope for, it exist, in everything. "

Sada would then tell Sharaku what I want. "What I want is something that I can't obtain on my own. The power to deny equivalent exchange. With everything you have in life, you're forced to give something up in return. I want as much as I can take, everything i desire, hold dear, things or people... and I won't have to give up anything that matters for it. I need power to live my life the way I want, I might even need more than what you have if that's the case.

Sada would then smile at the greedy bastard remark, but listened to the rest of what Sharaku said. "It's human nature to crush the dreams of others in order to get to your own. Humans are despicable beings who would use anything and everything at their disposal to get what they want. However, just because it's morally wrong, doesn't mean its the wrong choice. the concept of morals.... what's considered "right", its only something that this world defined in the way that we acknowledge it as of now. What i believe is that the right choice isn't necessarily the good or bad choice, it's the best choice you can make for yourself. "




Your life is meaningless when you live for others. They will take everything until you have nothing left to give. "

Sada blinked twice after he realized that he didn't clarify something. "Oh, not own people. That;s actually not what i meant to say. When i said people, i meant in regards as to what mattered to me. If it so happened to be a person, it'll be something ill hold on to, regardless of what transpires. Or better yet, maybe i haven't found the right words for it yet. But owning people? Not interested...." Sada cared about his old team, as well as all of the members and the coach. There were people he cared about, people he was determined not to lose.

"So? How cold they be put in a situation when their chances are taken away? It doesn't take a supernatural gift to take away any chance or hope for soemone's future.  You just kill them, ending their lives an any kind of conventional way takes away any sort of future you have in this world, and if you don't exist in this world, you don't have a future. We cant protect or defend ourselves against that, the actions and feelings of illogical fools with a weapon and a chip on their shoulders. That's power isn't it? The power to take a life, all you need is the tools and the will, or even all you need is your will. There is no explanation for that either, right? I never said i was the center, but its a rat race to the top. It always is...."

Sada paused for an abnormal period of time when Sharaku said that he needed someone to show hint he other side of humanity. After a while, he spoke again. "Does a person even exist like that? If they did, i'm almost certain, its because of that philosophy that they already died. They died, and all they left behind is a sea of tears. " Sada would then look at Sharaku.

"You're weak because you refuse to use your power to act on your own desires. You consider yourself a normal human being,  and refuse to wish for anything more than what you see before you. You can end my life, sure, it's easy to do for someone like you. Whats to stop you? Wanted for murder? Can the police stop you? Can anyone? Maybe your idea of power is expressing the caution of using it since you have so much of it? Its bitter sweet, you can have a meaningless life with all of this ability, but you have it as gods failsafe to the world simply imploding on itself. If you had half the ambition as mine, you should desire more.... for yourself... and those who you consider worth something to you.

"Something outside of my own desires......." Good question, that was actually something that Sada never thought about before. It's the same reason why Sada was quiet once more. Was there anything more worth than his own desires? Was it his sport of choice? However, that within himself of his desires right? Was it his coach? The man had no real reason to ask Sada to be on the team and play for the school, but he did. Then again, Sada had no reason to accept either, but he did, and he ended up liking it. "heh..." Sada only ended up smiling in the end.

"You don't consider yourself as a human being and yet you choose to live like one? Such a choice is valid that you would rather live your life in mediocrity? I could care less about who you care about, and im sure the same is for you,. When ideals clash, people fight. Those that go over are the ones who will have their dreams realized over the other. Us clashing is fair, us fighting, one of us dying... its the same as war. If there is something that i truly desire in all of my heart, and you are either the same in wanting, or what i have to do gets in the way of that, you'll try to stop me right? It sounds like a fun game actually, it reminds me why else I want power. "

Sada would then smile to himself. A contradiction in itself, its to beat down those with power that abuse it. I enjoy the look on their face when subjected to the same cruelty they inflict on others, to know how they feel. Question is, what makes me so different? Thats simple, i don't desire your suffering or anyone, i only desire what can truly be mine, and ill see it in any way that i can. Sharaku right? I'll even go as far as to say that your ambition might even be equal to mine if you are so "content and docile".

Sada would then snap his fingers at the word "impulsive desire".""Impulsive desire, not sure why it sounds so.... fitting to.. explain what i feel... its like a need i can never satisfy. So maybe i do envy you in a way. but sure... come ... stop me... oppose me... such is your desire to stop me from realizing my own in fear of what i can do, would do, or might do. It is the same, you will crush my dream if you had to, and vice versa for me in the case of anyone else. But its clear you aren't human, how else could you grow to admire them so much when so many of them despise themselves?

"A peaceful war? Can such a thing exist to begin with? The entire concept of war is armed conflict. You are armed with your power to wage war against anything that threatens your livelihood, or your desire of a chosen livelihood. Without war, there can be no peace. Violence gives birth to a new nation, for better or worse. There is nothing peaceful about it, and a peaceful war cant exist coherently, it only stands as a byproduct. "

Sada would then shake his head. "I think the professors at Azores said.... i was... the deterrent degenerate against other degenerates? In the case of "the necessary evil", im either seen as a hero, or ignored because i tend to pick off those worse than me simply by chance. Or maybe im the worst of them all, and they simply never saw me as a threat in they way they pictured it or imagined?" Sada would then shrug."You're a pretty nice guy, forgiveness...its the heaviest word in the English dictionary. As a matter of fact, you consider yourself human, and yet your sense of forgiveness, forgive me for amusing, is actually benevolent in a sense. As long as they can admit their mistakes and stop, they are worth redemption? No matter what they done? Is that what you believe? It's a path of godhood then, your power changed your way of thinking because if i am right, then your mindset is not the same as an actual human being.

Sada would then frown. "Your loyalty is wasted, you deserve better.

Never be the same? The talks of someone who doesn't accept change or welcome it. Why would you want it to be the same as it is? The same as it always is? Is that a life worth living? A life of stagnation? It doesn't need to be the same, it simply cant get worse if we build it back again from the ground up. If it does, we only ignore the mistakes we made originally for it to fall in the first place. "

Sada then shook his head. "I don't consider myself anything of the sort. I'm me, I don't represent any sort of outer force outside my own wants and needs. The notion of good and evil is narrowing down the spectrum of human nature to black and white, when in fact, the gray area is where the majority of the population actually lives. It's an abnormal concept to begin with. " Sada doesn't do colorblind labels like that, it didn't describe him perfectly. "We can also look at it this way, the side of you can be so hateful that you choose to look at life from a different perspective. If you were to give into your true nature, whatever sort of nature a shadow is claimed to have, would things be the same? I actually think that the majority of your effort is living in the sense of normality, its the best you can do, and it's something so simple for other people to do because they don't have what you have, making it their only option."

Instead of giving Sharaku a direct answer, he only replied with a quote "We all accept the love that we deserve. Ever heard that line before? The perks of being a wallflower, watch it. If that applies to love, shouldn't it apply to life? If this is all you accept, my opinion doesn't matter. If you are inquiring to me for specifics, then even if you don't want to admit it, you agree with me.

"Don't worry i'll leave the barebones for improvement if it was up to me. It's better to discard what's not needed, forcefully if necessary. " If it outlived its usefulness, you throw it away. It's the same as how companies treat the employees that worked for years, employees that are then discarded like unwanted pets. "Sounds like a bad deal, it's as if you are renting your body to someone who you wouldn't care for if they just up and disappeared the next day. If your true nature is human and your body is truly yours, why surrender it to the shadow? The fact that you consider it to have its own personality of the sort, it's as if it has just enough of a right to be here as you do, and yet it's a leech that uses you. Watch yourself, not everyone is content with sharing. If I was your shadow, I would of devoured you, and that body would have been mine. Why live life through the sidelines? "

Though, Sada was surprised when the shadow was talking, he even clapped in the end of the small speech. "Ventriloquism, impressive, but my point exactly. Is it as much as you allow him to do? Or did he do it without permission. Once that balance is tipped, what then?" Sada would then shrug in the end and walk towards the exit. "My point of view isn't something as easily understood, im sure you heard it more than enough times that you grown tired of it. But i found what i came for in this cave, a truth. Such a power exists, and now..i have to find it for myself....so you proved useful to talk to in the end. Perfect actually, it was exactly what i wanted. But i will see you again...