Reading is fundamental, like comics ^-^ [Sharaku}

''Too different for comfort, probably. I don't think it's very good when I actually have moments where it feels like I'd be happy forever if I just threw you out of the window or something....I don't know why that happens though. I don't even really like being violent when I don't literally need to..'' That one was actually a mystery, in a way. They were rather different yes, but he had no idea why Hyde agitated him much more than anyone else he knew. It just happened. Maybe they really weren't compatible in terms of personality..or there was something he had not figured out yet.

He would lean against the couch. ''...What did you think, then? I thought it was fairly obvious that I never took well to your attempts of forcing me to be happy..'', he'd ask in a light tone, looking towards the redhead with a slightly inquisitive expression. Which would turn into a slight frown later. Not annoyed...just...Well, he should have known Hyde would go and ask that. ''Sometimes I'm not sure what it means to be happy...but, I just want some calm once in a while. So I can do what I want, and not have people randomly pressuring me to do things I don't like...I'm tired of having to fit in just to make things work the way they should..............''

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

Throw me out of the window? Now there were tie when I talked it you and had some kind of discomfort from the way that you reacted to me, but it was never a response that I felt that should have been met with violence . That’s just an entire new area in general. “ Hyde would scratch his said with a puzzled look as he looked around for any open windows in Sharaku’s house. Maybe he shouldn’t necessarily let his guard down this time around if sharaku felt like tossing him out right now?

“I wouldn’t say forcing, I brought up the idea and I just wanted you to take a liking to it, or even entertain it for a little ntill you found your own liking to it. It never worked though.” Hyde wonders where sharaku was getting at. “Fitting i? besides our powers, pursuers, and all of this spiritual stuff, what makes you so different from anyone else? Wouldn’t considers this down time your heaving right now in your house as a “Calm” ? Or is it diminished once you have company over?

Well...''I do have enough self control to not get violent even when I happen to feel like it. It is unlikely to actually happen unless you piss me off to extreme levels. If that happens I would worry about your safety.'' As said, however, it wasn't very likely for him to snap like that. Possible, of course, but he would honestly congratulate someone if they managed to do that without trying purposefully..if they were in a condition to listen afterwards. ''And I don't particularly fancy telling people outright when I'm in the mood to send them to the Moon. It's not like you had a way to know, unless you were able to tell from the way I act, which, you don't seem to be that highly skilled at.'' And it was generally fine that way. It was only a hassle to need to explain after all.

''And it probably never will. I prefer to move at my own pace. When someone is way too persistent in getting me to like something....I either tune them out, or get irritated enough that I'm only more likely to actually dislike said thing in the end.'' Period. Pushing him into something too fast, and too insistently, only served to get a reaction opposite of the one originally intended. ''It depends on the type of company...but I think I'm too restless to really be calm even on my own. It's not working. I always end up doing something, because I can't stay still for too long. Not without a major distraction.'', he would shrug. ''As for the other thing...it's that, and then the fact that most people are too demanding. They expect this and that from me, when I can't really do it the way they want. And I usually end up being the only one to not enjoy something..which leads to the annoyance of having to try explaining why, because some people can't stop butting their heads where they don't belong...All in all, a lot of things.'' , he would scowl a bit.

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

“I can tell sometimes, but my guesses for you are either you aren’t interested or …..no that’s about it. Mostly being uninterested and skeptical about things, but then I kind of try to look past that and say “but what he’s really thinking is??” but it never turns tout that way. “ Hyde hummed for a second, mulling over what sharaku said. “I don’t know if you have a problem man. Simply relaxing can be hard at times, especially if you find many things around the house or outside that you would have to do.

“As for the demanding prospect… What if they as for the bare necessities. A chance to finally connect with you? IS that end result worth struggling for in your opinion?

Interesting to know. It wasn't often noticeable that Hyde was actually trying to think beyond the basics. Or at least, it didn't seem to show on the outside. ''Maybe that's actually a good thing. I don't know, to be honest. I don't think it would spell anything good if people knew what I'm actually thinking at times...I feel insane enough on my own. On the other hand, I don't enjoy people misunderstanding me. Perhaps there is no good solution for this most of the time..'' Question is, which of the two would prove worse in a long run?

He would roll his eyes. ''Most of the time, I don't even have to do anything. I just do.'' He didn't eve know how to elaborate on that one. ''What is the meaning of bare neccessities in your language? Some things simply aren't as easy as they may seem. Not to everyone. For example, you say you like animals, yes? But if I told someone who is afraid of cats to go pet one, would they be okay with it? I doubt that. Things that appear completely normal to you, may be completely different for someone else. That in mind, bare neccessity is a somewhat flawed concept, in my opinion. Just because you view it as so, not everyone has to feel the same way.'' And some people had a hard time understanding that, apparently.

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

You don’t need a solution for something that isn’t a problem. Maybe you are a little bit on the fence about things, and sometimes your thoughts can be crazy. That’s ok. Were all a little crazy sometimes, I’m sure that you thought I was a bit crazy with what I do. I guess the question is…what are you looking for in another person? Do you want to be understood by others? Or are you searching for something more complex? Genuine?” “ Hyde shrugged. “ As human beings, I would say that our complications should be welcomed. Unlike alphonse, we don’t come with an internal blueprint for others to see regarding what makes us tick, there is nothing practical about our emotions either

Sharaku had him there, but Hyde wanted to get his point across. I only meant that in a way as to an individual looking to pursue relationships with other people, no matter what type of relationship it is. Wouldn’t they desire to connect with that person? I feel as if we can connect on occasions, even though we still can’t figure each other out.

''A bit is an understatement..'' Sharaku would mutter under his breath, somewhat distressed. ''How severe does something have to be for you to consider it as a problem..?'', he'd ask with slightly narrowed eyes. Hyde seemed to take a lot of things very lightly. Always that 'ahh, don't worry, everything will be fine' attitude. If it was okay, just as the redhead was making it out to be, then they wouldn't be repeatedly having conversations like these, and getting nowhere with them. There was a limit even to crazy. Unless one wants to be eligible for mental therapy. ''To be honest, at this point, I think I'll be content with at least the understanding part.'' Somehow, he doubted this would even get any farther than that. Just as Hyde was saying, complications happen, and sometimes, pushing it away and saying it would be okay as it is, is definitely not changing anything. Hell, knowing Hyde for as long as he had by now, things would never change. Despite the fact that he accepted the redhead as a friend in general, he did not feel that much different than he had at the beginning. The redhead kept proving that there was little reason for him to change his opinion. It always went either the same, or almost the same way. The corner of his lips would twitch slightly. ''I am willing to respect that people are who they are, but that does not mean I have to tolerate things past my limits because of it. Am I supposed to happily welcome complications when they're being everything except helpful? I have a certain amount of patience, but there is only so much I am willing to stand until I have enough of it.'' Practical or not, was letting himself get driven insane a solution? No. He doubted that.

''Don't ask me.'', he would frown. ''It was never something I necessarily aimed for. Not without reason, at least.'' First, one needs to consider whether both sides are even interested in a relationship, and whether on the same level. ''I can say this, however. I don't know what it is, but you simply tend to make me uncomfortable. I've tried to ignore it before, but never got far.'' That's just how it was.

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

How severe? Locking yourself in your room most of the time and avoiding communication with others. I guess once that you feel like self-solitary confinement is the only thing for you, that’s when it gets severe. However, you haven’t necessarily pushed me out like that. There is a wall you have, its just a lot thinner now if it was ever bigger before.” Hyde laughed when sharaku mentioned the understanding part. “I want the same thing. And if we both want the same thing, why is it so difficult for us to have it?” That was an interesting question, even if there was no real answer for it. What’s really stopping the fro understanding each other?

Though hyde frowned when Sharaku mentioned that he didn’t necessarily had to tolerate anything and that there was so much that he could stand.” Well….i don’t think I have a comeback for that..” Hyde was dumfounded for a while. Sharaku even said that Hyde ad eh feel uncomfortable at times. ”Why do I make you feel uncomfortable? Personal space? Vulgar speech….ahhh….redish…pinkish hair?

Sharaku would sigh tiredly. That was a little extreme already, no? In his opinion, that would be a bit above just a problem. ''I do occassionaly feel like doing that, but there is honestly little point. I can't stand being inside all the time, and when I go out, I am bound to at least run into someone, whether I want to or not. We don't live in a ghost town afterall. And frankly, seeing how much trouble you're having now, you definitely wouldn't have wanted to meet me a few years ago. I would probably have introduced your face to the pavement on the first meeting.'' Sometimes, he felt like it would be satisfying to do even these days, but the fact that he did dislike unreasonable violence held him back well enough. Theoretically, he could find a reason, but it just felt like too much of a hassle to bother with. Hyde would most likely not even get the point of why did he do it, if he went ahead and did it.

''Why? I am not a psychologist, so I do not know. But I am pretty sure we at least have a different understanding of the word 'understand' in the first place, or are simply on completely different wavelenghts when it comes to it.'' Because, to be honest, he rarely felt like Hyde was putting a lot of effort into understanding the situation. It usually seemed as if the redhead just jumped the first option he instinctively felt like trying. And sadly, Sharaku often did not understand that notion. Mainly when it was a risky matter, that could be solved by using a brain, for example. It would just take a bit more effort than rushing in with the first thing that pops up in your mind.

He would furrow his brows. ''Comeback? I thought the point of this was to have a discussion, not keep coming up with things to oppose each other. I am not talking with the intention of proving what you're saying wrong, just stating my opinion. Which is apparently opposite of yours more than half of the time, I suppose.'', he would shrug nonchalantly. He didn't know why he even felt like being nitpicky about wording at times. ''Personal space? Sometimes. Vulgar speech? I don't care as long as it is not thrown into my face repeatedly in a short period of time. Haircolor? Feel free to dye it neon yellow for all I care.'' For some reason, he wanted to facepalm. ''It's...I don't know..generally the way you act, and your attitude towards what I say and such. It's hard to put it in words...''

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

“oh? I guess we both were undesirable people to meet a few years ago…. Would you say that means we changed for the better?” Hyde would say as his voice trailed off. He was so timid and suspicious of everything. The word “relax” wasn’t in his dictionary at all. Though, hyde continued to be puzzled by the end of this. “In comparison with the relationship that you have with me and everyone else on the team, how does that fare for you? Are they just as difficult or troublesome in your book? Or am I the only one in this case?

Sharaku would shrug vaguely. ''Maybe, maybe not? There is no clear saying what classifies as better sometimes. Besides, I can't say anything about you. I have not met you in the past, so I can't even try to compare it with now. For all I know, maybe I would have gotten along better with old you. Life knows how to joke at times.'' It felt that way. And he wasn't lying anyway. How could he know? He was different than in the past..but whether it was actually better? Most likely yes, but there are always people who would claim otherwise. As for Hyde, that was something the redhead should try answering for himself. He wasn't around in the past.

It seemed he was apparently confusing Hyde or something. Which shouldn't be a good thing, but he couldn't deny it was sort of funny to watch the redhead grab at straws. For whatever reason. He would whistle lightly. ''You ask amusing things at times, you know? Does that matter? They are different than you, so naturally I'd get along with them on a different level. That much is obvious. But since you ask...it varies. I get along well with one, moderately with the other two, and you are probably the worst when I look at it from an objective standpoint. Even if only because we still haven't truly moved much after all the time we've known each other.'', he would answer nonchalantly, not mentioning names exactly, however. He'd rather not drag the others into this personally, seeing as this wasn't really supposed to be a discussion about the team.

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

“Not to say that I was a bad person in the past, I just didn’t talk too often. I was jumpy, couldn’t necessarily stay in one spot, my favorite places to sleep was inside of a tree or a really hard bed. It was much like the child solider scenario, you’re never forced but you’re only left with a few choices in a world like that. This place is just different, or It used to be.” After remising for a bit, Hyde took Sharaku’s words into account. When you say moved much, what exactly is that supposed to mean? Move….barriers….. move hearts… you sound like friendship comes with some sort of objective for the two people involved when you put it that way. Unless you just men move forward, and I thought we had, but I’ve been wrong before.

Hm. Sharaku didn't really see much difference there. The only actual turnaround was, that Hyde could barely keep his mouth shut these days. He still jumped around a lot, even if in a somewhat different way. And it was not hard to imagine the redhead sleeping on a tree or such either. If there was someone who would do something as out of context as that, it was Hyde. ''Is that so? From my point of view, I don't think you changed that much. Except for the talking part, since you occassionaly talk too much these days. The rest isn't very far off. That's just how I see it though.'', he would state flatly, watching the redhead with a narrowed gaze.

''Moving forward can do. Or making progress. Call it as you want.'', he would shrug slightly. ''And it depends on the angle you look at it from. We did at times, but I never see it lasting for long. You always bounce back to what you've been doing before, so how can it be called moving forwards? We move somewhere, but you always go back after a while, as if you simply forgot. That's the impression I get from you most of the time.'', he would roll his eyes, and snap his fingers.

''I do enjoy playing a game, but replaying the same sequence several times gets annoying, wouldn't you say?''

Posts : 4801 Join date : 2014-01-13

Well , we can’t know for sure. I feel like I changed a lot to be honest but everybody has their own opinions about things. As a matter of fact, It’s hard to see you even more grumpy than you are right now. “ Hyde would say as he stuck his tongue out playfully. Though it might have been an ugly site to see a younger sharaku being a super jerk to everyone. He might even be worse that Naomi. “…..” no there’s nothing worse than naomi right now, all she does is punch Hyde and refuse to give him the time of day, and they are supposed to be on the same side.

"Now it seems like we never make lasting progress and for one reason, it falls down to me. Why am I the person that needs to change so much? Did it ever occur to you that this is just as your fault as it is mine? Maybe the reason why I keep going back is because you give off the indication that you aren’t willing to move forward with me. The Meh Noncholraku attitude could be it as well you know?”

Grumpy? Was that so? A wonder where that came from. It wasn't neccessarilly the truth, but Sharaku honestly did not feel like bothering to correct Hyde anymore. Maybe if there was something in it for him, but it just felt like a drag by now. What did he ever gain by explaining himself to Hyde? A few hours of it being slightly better, but by the next time they met, it was like the redhead dusted a good half he had been told off. So what was the point? ''Grumpy is not the right word, but I digress.'', he would state in a calm tone, keeping his gaze on Hyde.

Reading is fundamental, like comics ^-^ [Sharaku} - Page 4 KAEKKXw

He would give Hyde a mildly blank look, leaning his chin on one of his hands. ''I'm not even going to ask what that weird nickname is, but let me put it this way. How can you even properly assess my 'indication' as you call it? When you do act a little differently, it never lasts for more than that one hangout. Next time we see each other, it's pretty much back to old, or at least partially. Can I even develop an opinion in that amount of time? I don't do things at the speed of light, like you do, apparently. I can't change my impression of someone if they don't keep it up for longer than a few passing moments. That's not my thing. You're just proving to me that no matter what I do, or accomplish with you...won't last longer than a while anyway. I don't feel like trying anymore. Maybe that's why you're getting that attitude from me. In the end, it's all the same, so I'm not even inspired to react to begin with.'' His interest was indeed low when he saw no plausible outcome from an action. Why waste enegry and breath on something that won't truly matter in the long run? There were a lot of other things he could be doing instead. This wasn't even fun to compensate the other downsides. ''...and I had changed since we met. But it doesn't seem to work when I'm around you. I've tried before. It's fine for a bit, and then you go do or say something, and I just feel like I want to be somewhere else at that moment. I don't know what it is. They say that opposites attract, but perhaps it is the other way around for us...''

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» Afternoon Reading [Lumyr/Ray]
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