Spiritual Pathways (Nilo, Closed)

Fate has decided to be kind once more to me, Akumu thought as he felt the familiar coolness that came with crossing over into the realm of humans from his own. Much like the incident at the beach, Akumu did not choose the location he came to. He simply went with the flow once he had seen the door and entered the light there. When the flow had stopped and Akumu found himself upon solid ground again, the attendant would remain still for a second as he looked through the swirl of colors that was the world around him.

Ah the place of many spirits, he thought as he recognized some of the blurs from his previous passing through the place as he moved elsewhere to complete duties. This was the first time the doors had decided to leave him here. Perfect timing since spirits were exactly what Akumu was looking to examine today.

Shifting his weight, Akumu began to pull himself from the mist between worlds and step once more into the world he was not allowed to interfere with. As he entered the spacious and mostly quiet building, Akumu’s eyes would drift to the high arches and beautiful details of this place that humans came to at times to worship their gods and what not. This place was called holy. It was a word Akumu did not understand, but he didn’t need to understand it to feel the tug and sway of the spirits that moved here. He did not know why the spirits gathered heavily in this place, but then again that did not matter.

What mattered was that this was the best sort of place to be when the old attendant was lost upon something and needed direction from Lady Fate. She spoke loudest where the spirits gathered the heaviest. While this place was usually closer to home, today it was in this building.

As his shoes quietly clicked against the well kept floors of the large structure, Akumu took in the scents of burning incenses as he moved along the countless rows of empty pews. There were a few people here, but for the most part this place of spirits was empty.  Moving to a row closer to the alter where a statue of a man stood tall with his arms out stretched to either side, Akumu would settle onto the wooden bench as he reached into one of his long sleeves and pulled out an old book being held together with small ropes.

A small brush like pen was tucked away inside of it being used as a bookmark. Flipping the book open to the spot where the pen was, Akumu would gaze around the building again before looking at the blank page he was on. He would touch the page with the tip of his pen and began to draw letting the spirits and Lady Fate whisper to him their secrets and paths they had for him to observe and steer.

Nilo entered the large church, silently awing at its majesty. He loved the building and what it stood for; it never ceased to amaze him. He breathed in deeply the smell of the place before entering the large pewed room. He rarely came here alone, usually coming with his mom to pray. This time, however, his mom had to work a shift and so he came alone this day. He glanced at the people here and there before walking up to the altar. He bowed his head and clasped his hands together in prayer before going to sit at one of the pews.

He noticed Akumu at the corner of his eye, and lo and behold, his curiosity took him over. He walked towards him and went to silently sit down near him. He looked towards the elven-like man, amazed by the strangeness of him. What was it about him? He couldn't place his finger on it besides the elven features... He quickly looked away after his initial wave of thoughts, hoping he wasn't caught staring at him.

Akumu remained quiet on the pew ignoring the few stares of the curious passbyer. The spirits were not pointing to anyone here, so he was unconcerned with humans as he continued to draw a line before curving it to create a petal. Continuing to draw the small flower, Akumu would listen to the spirits chatter calmly enough, but nothing they were saying made any sense. They gave him no direction and deep down this frustrated the old attendant a bit.

It was true Akumu had his own mind and could act on his own more or less, but it was also true that he was a bond by the shackles of the spirits and rules. He could not simply do as he pleased. If his master or the spirits forbid him to do something, then that thing could not be done. There were consequences to be paid for disobeying…especially when one was allowed in the human world. The spirits and his master had allowed him to come here to find guidance, so all Akumu could do was wait for the spirits to straighten their words out and speak in clear tones once again.

Patience, he reminded himself as he completed one flower and began to draw another next to it. The strange man continued to draw flowers until he found himself pausing as the flowers on the page began to rearrange themselves and created a skull. The symbol of Lady Death.

Oho. What was this?

Akumu tilted his head at the drawing trying to understand what the spirits were hinting at. Was there something here associated with this arcana? Or was he supposed to take the literal meaning of the card?

Hmmm...The spirits provided no answer, so studied he continued to do; however, before he could go too deeply into his analysis of the picture, a familiar presence entered the house of spirits and came near. Staying quiet and seemingly focused on the picture of the flowers in the skull pattern, Akumu would allow the familiar presence to rest beside him.

When he felt eyes upon him, the old attendant’s would look up from the picture as he stared forward for a second as a small smile played upon his lips.

“A pleasure see you again, Nilo,” he would say in soft gentle tones before his eyes would narrow and blue orbs would drift to the edges of the painted eyes. He would look at the boy next to him, his demeanor non-hostile and unbothered as he continued on in casual tones. “Have you come to speak to the spirits too?”

Nilo quickly looked up at Akumu, hoping he didn't notice his impolite stares. Why did he stare at the man? Sure he looked odd but... That wasn't a good enough reason to stare, right? He didn't enjoy people staring at him and so he felt bad that he had the audacity to stare at Akumu. He simply smiled and nodded towards Akumu, hoping he didn't either mind the staring or didn't notice them. He blinked at the orbs on Akumu's face paint, wondering if it was just a reflection or more. He tilted his head at the spirits talk, looking up at the chapel's ceiling.

"... I suppose so... I come here to pray whenever I can... It helps me feel... Lighter? I don't know... Like there's someone listening and looking out for me that isn't my mother..." he said, trailing off a little into his own thoughts. He looked up after a while, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry... Did that confuse you?" he asked politely.

Akumu noticed the stares; however, the man’s calm nature did not change as he watched the other next to him quietly. He did not mind the stares for they did not give off hostility. They were simply the stares of the curious. Nothing more. Nothing less. As the old attendant asked his question, he would take note that his words caused the other to look at him rather quickly. Had he startled the other? Hmm…He had not meant to do that; however, before the attendant could think to apologize, the child seemed to recover as he pulled his eyes away from Akumu and looked towards the ceiling. When the boy answered his question, the old attendant study the boy for a second before looking away as he leaned back in his seat, balancing his book and pen on his legs as he stared ahead at the cross.

“No. Your words make complete sense. I too often speak to the spirits when I need guidance or a second opinion upon something. While I am not sure how they work everywhere, I can tell you the spirits always look out for those who trust them and exist to help most of the time. I am quite sure they are doing the same for you. Otherwise, you would not feel light after speaking to them,” Akumu glanced back over to Nilo with a light smile.

“I apologize for my rambling. If you don’t mind, can you perhaps tell me what weighs you down and…what was it? Prayer I believe? What is it?”

Akumu's questions were non-hostile and asked out of curiosity; however, as always the old being left the questions open with no pressure behind his words. He was not going to force anyone to say anything. He’d simple take whatever was given or was not given.

Nilo smiled listened to Akumu's words. He enjoyed talking to this man, oddly enough. He felt like they both saw things similarly but differently enough to debate about things. He continued to listen to Akumu's words and would smile lightly after words, thinking out his response.

"You don't need to apologize, you're fine. But um... Something happened recently... I just wanted to clear my head so I can think more rationally." he said with a thoughtful tone of voice. "And prayer is when you speak to God... You can ask him for things or you can just talk to him... I find it very calming." he said with a light smile.

Akumu had spoken and the child listened with a smile. The old attendant got the feeling that the other was just as comfortable around him as he was around the child. Perhaps that meeting at the beach had been much more than a chance encounter with this one, but then again maybe the comfort gained had simply came about because the boy was calm and kind. It was hard to say and to be honest Akumu liked this small blur between them. It was a pleasant mystery he was waiting to see if it would unveil itself in time.

In any case, once Akumu had stopped speaking, the child was silent for a moment before he answered back. Feeling a bit relieved that the boy understood him, the old attendant would give the other a light smile of thanks before tilting his head at the other. There was something about the way the boy had answered that caused the spirits to suddenly become quiet and leave only one spirit behind that lingered around the boy; however, for the moment the spirit kept its true form hidden. Strange. Very strange.

Akumu would keep an eye on the spirit; however, on the outside his observation would never show as his blue eyes watched the child calmly and listened to his explanation of prayer.

“Ah. So you speak to a god to find comfort. What a privilege. This god must be very kind to be so near,” Akumu said with a light nod before falling silent and into thought as his eyes drifted to the ground. He too knew of gods, but unlike the one Nilo spoke of they stayed behind the scenes and only came near when they had to. It was an interesting thing to note, how gods acted, but it was nice to know that there was one a bit closer to the world than others. Perhaps at a later time Akumu would dive deeper into this subject, but for now he’d leave it. After all, there was something much more pressing in front of him. That spirit without a form had decided to reveal its nature as it swirled around the boy changing his aura from curious to something extraordinary. Understanding exactly what was happening here, Akumu would stay silent for a while lonfer before his eyes drifted back to the boy.

“I thank you for your patience with me. It is not every day I find someone willing to help broaden my rather narrow window of the world,” the attendant would give him a gentle smile. “The act may seem trivial to some, but to me it deserves a reward. You said something happened recently that was bothering you? Perhaps you can share with me and I can help.”

Akumu spoke the words kindly enough and while he already could sense what had occurred, he found it easier to guide when humans or spirits told about their experiences or worries themselves. It made it less awkward to transition into any topic for both parties, but he wondered if this one would share or perhaps shut himself away. Hmmm...Time would tell.

Nilo listened to Akumu carefully, and returned his gaze skyward after he offered help. He heard her murmured humming in his head... The aery song resonating in his head, instilling that ever present fear but an implacable peace. Her song never made sense to him, but he hadn't tried summoning her sense the Awakening... He thought about the other him... The terrible monster he turned into and his last dying breath. He looked towards Akumu and decided to give into the man. If he didn't know about the Persona, he would, hopefully, understand to some extent... His oddness made Nilo believe he knew of something...

"... Do you know what a Persona is? Maybe a shadow? Or um... Who 'they' may be...?" he asked with a sigh, looking down to the ground. "There's another world... Worlds... And... I saw myself in one of them... He transformed into this monster... It hurt... Then he died and... She was formed... She hums a lot..." he said with a light smile before frowning again. "You probably think I'm stark craving mad... Ahem... Sorry... I'm sure it was all a livid dream and the humming is an after effect of it..." he said a little hastily.

He knew it wasn't a dream though... He felt the sand... The sun... He knew he came out into the school with out his jacket... He knew he came home with a flustered mom fussing over him. He felt the girl's presence within him... He heard her humming as clear as day... He didn't know why he felt her fear, but he knew it to be his now as well... These where all truths Nilo knew, and he knew there was logic to this madness. He hoped that Akumu knew something about this... He needed answers.

Akumu remained quiet as he observed the boy’s attentive, yet troubled nature. He had offered to help the other, but made no effort to push whatever troubled the boy out into the open. No. If the child wished to share, he would and if not? Well that was that then. There was not much else to do about such a decision. In any case, Akumu’s eyes would linger on Nilo for a while longer before blue orbs returned to the book and the picture of flowers there. They were still in the skull position, but why was…?

Akumu’s thoughts shutdown as he heard the boy’s words and processed them. He would be still and quiet for a moment as he finally understood the skull and why he was here. Collecting his thoughts once more, Akumu would eventually speak again after a small pause.

“Mad? No. I don’t believe you are. Neither do I believe what you told me to be a dream either,” Akumu would turn to a blank page of his book and began to draw a picture.

“Personas and shadows are something I am quite familiar with. They are forms that are created out of the spirits that linger between reality and non-existence. A shadow….” Akumu would draw a picture of an oriental lady dressed in a kimono. She would appear happy as she held her umbrella overhead. As Akumu moved his pen and began to draw a road, the woman would begin to walk along the road on the page. Her walk would be peaceful, the scenery changing to a road lined with cherry blossoms. The picture would reach up for a petal, but then quickly draw her away back as fear clouded her features as Akumu drew a strange large bird made of the darkness itself. The bird swooped down upon the woman attempting devour her whole. There was a brief struggle and then the bird would win and feast upon the dark energy flowing from the woman before the picture became still and lifeless once more. Akumu’s eyes would remain on the bird as he resumed speaking.

“Shadows are entities created from the negativity of human hearts. When the negativity in a human builds to a bursting point, the shadow leaks out and consumes the flesh leaving behind different forms of darkness that seeks out other negative energy or weaker shadows to consume so it can grow stronger. In this reality, they are not seen unless a leak occurs at the seams between realms, but in the “other worlds”, they roam about quite freely. That is why those with potential are given a special sort of gift,” Akumu would pause and draw another lady, this time a warrior. She held a sword in her hand and faced off a strange hand like shadow that sought to destroy her. As the shadow came in, she summoned from herself a great cat that destroyed the attacker before fading.

“Persona,” Akumu said as the picture said. “They too are shadows, but unlike the ones that attack, these are tamed shadows under the control of their wielders; however, to wield such power, there are tests that occur in various forms. One such test is facing one’s own Shadow,” Akumu would glance over at Nilo. “Shadow Selves look like us, pretend to be us, but always when faced with the original shows the worse parts of us to the world. They are our negativity placed before us as a test to see if one is worthy of commanding the Persona. If you accept what it is saying as true, then you need not fear it. Your shadow will bow to you and reveal itself as a persona that obeys and protects. If you resist…well…that never turns out pretty. Typically,  denial cause the shadow to react aggressively and you must fight it. If you win, do not think the battle is over. As long as you deny the darkness, the Shadow Self remains strong and in time destroys the one that denies it. Hmm…do you follow thus far?” Akumu would ask as he tilted his head at the boy sitting next to him.

The information given was truth, but quite a bit to swallow. Akumu knew this and had seen many become confused as he shadowed the one who taught him all he knew now regarding the shadows, personas, and other worlds. If Nilo had questions, Akumu would try to answer and guide the boy as he was designed to do.

The whole while Akumu had talked, Nilo was writing down every word in his book. Its worn leather cover and yellowed pages would reveal its age but the smell calmed Nilo… And apparently she was calmed by it as well as her humming lowered in volume. After he had finished copying word for word what Akumu said, he stopped, looking up at Akumu confused. Yes, this was a lot to take in, but… What did he expect? He knew this was going to be complicated and so he fought through his confusion, simply putting everything down as fact. However…

“You state that once one confronts his or her Shadow Self… They either accept them or deny them and if the latter where to happen, said Shadow Self would transform into a true shadow and try to devour their real counterpart… But…” he became quiet, flipping to his book and landing on the page where he had detailed out the entirety of his Awakening in much detail. “My shadow neither show cased any suppressed forms of my emotions nor did I deny or accept them… I mean, I did the latter indirectly once I saw him dying… The only thing we shared where faces and that pain…” he said wistfully, remembering the whole ordeal as if it was a dream. It was so surreal and once he finished retelling his events, she began her humming again.

“… Who are ‘They’ though? My Shadow said… ‘I got a chance, but it looks like they favor you more…’ What does that mean?” he asked as he looked up at Akumu. He seemed to be taking this information well… After all, he was used to reading novels in a day and retelling sections word for word… He couldn’t allow himself to fall into folly and not take this information to heart. And so he awaited Akumu’s response to his questions; and maybe even more answers to the mysteries he still held.

Akumu talked and the boy wrote. The light scratching of his pen against paper easily mingled with Akumu’s strokes upon the pages of his own book. The sounds came together to create a strange melody that the spirits seemed to like. Perhaps he and the boy were more connected than Akumu had first thought. Regardless of this, Akumu would pause in his speaking to see if the boy had gotten lost anywhere.

While the child did have a look of confusion upon his face when he looked up at the older attendant, it seemed the child was swallowing the information quite well. Impressive. However, as impressive as this was, Akumu’s calm nature would not change as he listened to any questions the boy had. When the boy spoke on his experience with his shadow self, Akumu nod lightly at what was heard.

“Shadow Selves react according to negativity. The more one hides the negativity, the more time the shadow self has time to potentially gain power from taunting the original, who gives it strength with denial. If your Shadow Self reacted differently, then perhaps it is because it did not need to work so hard to pull your negativity out. There are some cases where the original wears their negativity so openly that all the Other Self has to do is simply come in contact with the original to react. If this is the case, sometimes the Shadow Self does not taunt, but simply tries to consume the original. After all, there is only one you regardless of if you are good or evil. Shadow Selves hold on to this thought pattern tightly. Naturally, they seek to consume what threatens this thought pattern and so they lash out at the original. As for the outcome, well that is left to Fate and Chance to decide. It appears that the pair favored you and so you were able to defeat and in your own way accept what was before you. An impressive feat indeed,” Akumu said as he gave the child a small smile of praise.

Whether Nilo saw this or not was beyond Akumu. The child seemed to be lost in thought, but at the same time still seemed to be listening. When the other turned the subject to the more vague ‘they’, Akumu would pause for a minute as he pondered this before speaking.

“ ‘They’ can refer to various things when it comes to the Other Side, so it is often hard to define what ‘they’ means. It could be referring to the two gods that even Fate and Chance bow to,” Akumu said as he flipped backwards in his book to two pages of a god of light and another of darkness.

“Philemon, god of light and Nyarlathotep, god of darkness. They have been around for many years and it is not uncommon for them to have wars between each other. The Other You could’ve been referring to this, or perhaps some other mystery that has yet to unravel itself,” Akumu would turn the page to a single page of just black. “Your Other Self could’ve been hinting at another party involved in this chaos. Much like the gods themselves, it is not uncommon for those with power or access to the other worlds to abuse such a privilege,” the old attendant said with a light sigh. “However, with so many lose facts and rumors floating about, even that is frustratingly hard to confirm. I am afraid to find the truth one would have to dig even deeper into the chaos and into the worlds not native to this reality.”

Nilo continued writing down everything Akumu said, his eyes glancing over what he wrote to make extra sure everything he wrote was correct. He stayed quiet as Akumu talked about the extra information on Shadow Selves, not even quavering at the mention of Philemon and Nyarlathotep. The only thing that bothered him was the contradicting evidence on Shadow Selves... He looked up at Akumu after he had finished his revisions on what he wrote.

"... Okay... I just... I don't know if I really understand everything about Shadow Selves... Could you possibly elaborate more? Or... If you have no more information... Could you possibly elaborate more on Persona?" he said, sighing slightly flustered. He couldn't place it... But something just felt off. He smiled through it though, looking up at Akumu in thanks.

"Thank you... This is very helpful, regardless... Oh, um... Is it rude to ask how you know so much about this?" he asked, seeming less flustered now. He hid what inner turmoil he had, letting her humming distract that part of his thoughts.

Akumu explained what he knew, the scratching of Nilo’s pen against paper never bothering the other. It was impressive how studious this one was, but he wondered as he watched the child from the corner of his eye, how well written notes would aid him in the end. Hmmm…it would be a curious thing to watch indeed. In any case, the attendant would fall silent after a while and let the other finished what he was writing and reviewing.

As the child worked, Akumu would take to observing the large place of spirits again. His eyes would wander to elegant details of this structure. He would admire the handiwork of humans for a while longer before his eyes would drift back to the child as he began to speak once more.

To his words, Akumu would nod lightly.

“Shadow Selves are much like Originals, complicated creatures that work on a much higher level than the lower ranks that work off their desire to survive,” Akumu said and then tilted his head at the boy. “What would you like me to elaborate on regarding the Shadow Self and Persona?” the old being asked, preferring to be directed in some fashion rather than simply rambling off information now that the basics were mostly covered. He could tell the boy was flustered, so perhaps by letting the child direct him would help with the already confusing situation. After all the spirits had seemingly given him plenty of time to spare for this occasion. Good.

When the boy looked up at him with a smile and appreciation, Akumu gave the other a small smile in return as he heard the words spoken.

“It is my pleasure to serve,” he said and then paused as he thought how to answer the other’s question. Keeping the book balanced in his lap, he would fold his arms as one pale hand came up to cradle his chin as he thought.

“It is not rude at all,”Akumu said as his eyes slid back to the other. “I was taught well by a master in the subject. I am afraid my skills are not as good as my teacher's, but I try,” Akumu finished with a light smile as he thought for a second about his older sibling that had taught him what he knew before vanishing back into the sea of souls. He wondered….when whatever task he was placed here to do was completed would he too vanish? Hmm…a curious thought, but not something to ponder while he had a child to attend to.

Nilo nodded and absent mindedly started humming along with her. He re-read everything he had written so far and wrote down the little Akumu mentioned about Originals. He didn't need much information on them as he was sure the Originals where him and the others who received the power of Persona. He really couldn't place his finger on what else he wanted to know about Persona and Shadow Selves. Everything he already knew seemed to answer a vast majority of his questions... So what else did he want to know? He sighed and listened to Akumu's explanation of his teacher, smiling lightly at this.

"Are you my teacher now, then?" he said with a light smile, seeming less bothered by his thoughts. "You've helped me out so much already, thank you." he said, smiling lightly in respect to Akumu. He continued his humming as he began to re-read again what he was taught. He wanted to make sure he had this memorized, just in case.

Akumu had asked the boy his questions in hope of getting some direction as to what the child wanted to know regarding Persona and Shadows. He had a wealth of information, but without some sort of focus, the information would be a ton to swallow and perhaps even more confusing than enlightening. In any case, instead of receiving an answer from the boy, he heard him begin to hum a tune. Staying quiet, Akumu would listen to the tune for a moment curious as to where the sudden song had come from; however, before he could ask anything regarding this, the boy was looking up at him with that small smile of his as he spoke.

To his words, Akumu nodded lightly.

“If that is what wish, then I will be more than glad to perform to duty and aid you,” Akumu said as he returned the other’s smile. It was true that Velvet Room Attendants were designed for various duties, but one thing they held in common despite their specialties was that they could also become guides to those who needed the guidance. This situation was no different. All that was needed now was for the boy to agree in some fashion to the pact being offered. If he did this, then the pair would be connected in quite a different way than strangers crossing paths. Akumu would have another to serve outside of his original masters.

A burden? Not really. It would beneficial all around; however the choice was left in the child’s hands.

“I do my best to assist,” Akumu said in response to the last words the boy spoke. When he heard the humming come from the child again, his eyes would close as he tilted his head slightly in the direction the boy was in. A light smile remained on his lips as if he was enjoying the song for a moment before he spoke.

“Is that “her” song?” he would whisper before he became silent again to await an answer.