What is Expected [Susan/Julius Lamecia NPC Thread: Afternoon]

It seemed that part of the conversation was over as she sighed. It wasn't a perfect resolution, sure. But it was one that promised progress to a hopeful conclusion. However, it did turn into a whole different conversation hinging on this one Cadet he thought he wouldn't have to be concerned about at least for a long time. Julius thought for a moment, but it wasn't that much of an issue really for what the reason was for the previous Cadet's resignation. "Miss Griva realized our work didn't exactly quite mesh with what she had in mind and found a different vocation. Nothing more, nothing less. The matter has been closed as far as I can tell."

It was a disappointment, but one decision he couldn't force. Sometimes the work didn't just quite fit what people wanted. Everyone made their own decision and it was theirs to make. And quite evidently, Athena Griva chose this. It was good that it didn't affect the state of the Cadets with so many competent ones working under him and even more recruits coming in.

"I take it Miss Griva is related to that someone you cherish?" He cocked his head to the side while gently grasping his chin with both thumb and forefinger in faint interest and thought. It was too much of a convenience that this question popped up. Whatever answer Susan would give, he would drop it. The Prince wasn't one to be involved with his Cadets' personal matters if he could help it, at least.

She merely left. That answered a very important question yet it brought up others. Susan's shoulders relaxed a bit as she breathed out at this news. At least she wasn't bedridden or dead, but the next question nagged at her at why she would leave Gabriel in the first place. Not because she was afraid there were certain skeletons in the closet, he had been more than honest with her. But he deserved some form of answer she felt, for the sake of closure. She knew it would drive her crazy if someone spurned her and she never received a reason for it. This answered another question of hers, though one she did not ever dare ask. What would happen if this did not work out? Despite what the Prince had said, despite how committed she was, she could not deny that she did not fit in with the Cadets. If worst came to worst she would prefer to move to a desk or researcher position, failing that she could go back to work full-time. Which she would not want to do. Susan did not want to admit she failed and she knew people would ask.

He had seen straight through her though, as she anticipated he would. For specific reasons the businesswoman did not want to admit what Athena Griva's relation was to herself. Oh, he is my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend were not words she wished to utter. It would make her seem jealous and petty, and she also did not want to bring up quite personal and unprofessional affairs to her Captain. It was inappropriate.
"N-no sir, not at all," she lied, "I-I found it odd that she was the only other Class 2 Cadet I have never encountered. H-her name is still recorded within the roster so I assumed... I-I assumed she was not dead b-but her status was also unknown to me. I-I had concerns after I... a-after I had been targeted i-if she were to be hospitalized without protection or monitoring, I still have them with her chosen occupation if she is not checking in. I-I would also have liked to have known for... identification reasons... sir. I-In case she was on an assignment I was unaware of." Her last statement echoed from a very unfortunate experience involving herself, the Prince, a delinquent and Director Avaritia. Everything she had just spoken was technically not untrue. Athena Griva did not have any relation to Gabriel, at least not anymore, and everything she had just said was not incorrect. Cadets being targeted alone was a prime concern of hers, specifically for herself but that was the bad experiences speaking. She shuffled uncomfortably where she stood, praying that was an acceptable answer. A pit formed in the center of her stomach. It did not feel pleasant to lie like that.

He continued to look at Susan for a moment. It was a little too coincidental that she would ask such a question, as his gut told him. Lying wasn't something he really liked, especially when he was the one being lied to. No matter how much his Cadet kept claiming it was an entirely innocent wish or desire as part of their duty, Julius didn't quite buy it. Though he wasn't going to condemn her for it, at least not right now. The Prince shook his head at her. "There is no need. When a Cadet resigns, they are given a monitor to have periodic appointments with to check on their current status. Miss Griva is currently accounted for, so any concerns are not necessary. The missions she's taken on are few and don't require you to know much in the near or far future, I'm afraid. But if you are curious of the nature of the missions, which they aren't necessarily classified at this point among Cadets, you may inquire Maria. They worked together in the same tasks during Miss Griva's short time in our corps."

Her heart paused in her chest at the silence. The suffocating, uncomfortable silence that choked the air. Her eyes flitted from his to the ground and back again, meeting everything but his gaze as she shuddered where she stood. She was a terrible liar. What she was truly good at was reading and understanding the intricacies of a situation. So she knew. She knew that he knew, and he likely knew she knew that he knew. This did not bode well. Susan immediately regretted what she had said, she should have been clear and stated she did not wish to reveal the reason and left it at that but now her integrity was being judged. The timid woman anticipated reprimand and a dreaded question:

"Why did you lie to me, Cadet?"

...but that never came and that was just as frightening. It was ominous. She had slighted him, openly and brashly sought to deceive him and he knew that. He would hold her in bad favor and this would affect his decision-making, at some point in time this would come to haunt her but what she didn't know was how harshly. For now she could only rely on his understanding. Hopefully he could see the intent to her lie, that some things should remain private and he could trust her not to bring harm with her bold-faced lies.
"Th-that is excellent sir, I-I will review them sir," she stuttered, eager to be given the task and move past that uncomfortable strangling feeling of silence. "I-I had assumed she would be, it follows what I have learned. I-It was my every intention to ask her b-but I understand she is occupied a-and we would be speaking regardless." Susan fidgeted more. She had placed herself in a precarious position and she was no closer to learning anything meaningful. Athena had left Gabriel but she was not dead or undercover, which meant she should not feel guilty about being with him but she still did not know the true reason. It could ease her own mind but she was not asking these questions for herself.

...and then the silence settled in again. She had once more taken her inquisitive nature and ran over all the speed bumps with it. Her fingers tensed on her thermos. Susan wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear for eternity rather than endure Prince Julius's intense judgmental stare. The short woman had taken his kindness for granted and lied to him just as she had done Gabriel, had spit in the face of his benevolence.

Julius quietly observed her behavior again and contemplated to himself. He would have to mind Maria the next time they meet in case if Susan did inquire of her about Athena. When Susan asked for any more topics, the Prince shook his head again. "Not in this current moment, Susan. You may be dismissed, unless you have any other issues you wish to bring up."

The air was tense still. Susan had truly up-ended this situation and had shifted against herself with her own selfish inquiries. He had professed faith and confidence in her ability as a leader and she had shown him exactly why he shouldn't. But she would do that for him. For Gabriel. He deserved to know more than she deserved to lead. This was simply trust she would need to earn back, only she could learn the truth for his sake. In time she would right this wrong but for the moment she was doing just as the Prince had asked her to. She was focused on the person in her life that mattered most to her.
"N-no sir, thank you sir," she gave a nod stepping backward, fumbling with her things in her arms to get a hand free with which to open the door. She turned and stepped quickly which was her way, Susan was never very good at things like "sharing feelings" or "handling emotional moments", she'd honestly have rather been reprimanded to a degree. At least improving her behavior was something she knew how to do, listening to her heart was not one of those.

...but she was being too hasty and defaulting to her old ways simply because she did not know what to do. She had been given instruction and she should follow that. Even if it was forced Susan would need to somewhat emotionally open up. Perish the thought. As she tenderly pulled the door open she would halt before moving all the way through it.
"Sir...?" she called out hesitantly, "....th-thank you for listening to me today. No one else knows how... I a-am dealing with this, I believe that may have been important to say." That was what she had learned anyway, that talk therapy was effective. As far as if she wanted to speak to someone about it she was still conflicted. She could never tell anyone the full extent of her problems. Her boss would find her unfit, her peers would ostracize her, and her lover couldn't know what she dealt with for breach of national security.

And now she was at a crux. She was thankful for his understanding. Probably. She still wasn't entirely certain, that would take days to sort out but she couldn't just pay lip service after lying as she did. And she wasn't ready to reveal the truth of the matter either, it was no one's business but hers and she didn't want to be looked down on for asking her Captain what had happened to another Cadet that was once involved with her boyfriend. That would be incredibly unprofessional. But at the same time the guilt was piling up on her chest and there was only so much of this she could deal with. She despised needing to deal with this and how she could be driven by fear and some undefined aspect to lie to him. And to tell the truth. It made her feel as if she wasn't in control of her actions as her emotions would get the best of her. For the moment she would choose the middle ground. He knew. She knew that he did, and he knew that she knew he did. Likely.

"S-sir I...... I deeply apologize for lying to you, it is a private matter, I-I do not wish to say." And she closed the door quickly behind her to protect against retort or being called back in. She walked swiftly through the annex building praying her phone wouldn't ring and she be demanded she explain. She loathed that fear was still guiding her actions. But certain things would need to be kept private and this was one of them. Perhaps she would admit this one day, perhaps not, but for the moment she would keep this to herself if she could manage it. She hoped beyond hope for more understanding in this matter.

And so, their conversation ended. It didn't quite get the effect he wanted, the actual resolution. But they were at least on the track to doing so in the future. It was good, really. Sometimes people can be so tight-lipped. But thankfully Susan opened up enough to let him learn more about her to help her. Julius smiled as she gave her thanks. "It's part of my job, don't worry about it. I'll keep it between us."

Though he blinked at her admission. After going so far to be kind enough to not broach any further, she was willing to admit that much. But he allowed her to leave, at least for the moment. It was a discussion for another time and as the footsteps walked away in the distance, Julius sighed and wondered what was the next step to take...

SQ Gained: