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What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) VmJmf1B
Updated: 8/18/2017

I've come to make an announcement. Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out, and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said that it was "t h i s b i g" and I said that's disgusting. So, I'm making a call out post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. (explosion noises) That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go HIGHER. I'm PISSING ON THE MOON!!! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!

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ViniVidiVicci

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PostSubject: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyMon May 27, 2019 11:54 pm

.......

.............

..................

.......................it hadn't really mattered what Susan had been doing before this moment. And afterward... it wouldn't matter either. But nothing felt real anymore. She had adjusted from one shock to jump straight into another, going to her normal workplace in a desperate bid to latch onto some sense of normalcy, cleaning up her notes at home so she could present them in an orderly manner. It really didn't take any time to write reports now that she could do so in an instant but she still had to organize her thoughts, something which had been nearly impossible. It was tough. She had spent the day mentally adjusting and attempting to pick up the pieces, to find out what she would do. If she could risk herself enough to love him again. If she believed him or not. If she could love a lie. Ironically it was the type of discussion they would have had together. She liked when they talked like that. It only served to confuse her even more.

And she had not even adjusted to this new reality before an even more recent one had come to being. She heard the report already. It was nondescript and obvious. The Cadets would not receive an all-clear from the prison if this did not involve psyche terrorism. And there was only one man that could have been gunned down. Somewhere within herself she did love him, or part of him, or love what he was pretending to be and even if he had stabbed her in the back and pulled her heart out through the wound she could find... closure. Susan had time to figure this out, and to decide what she had really wanted. It would hurt but it could be done. Not anymore. Nothing made sense and she could learn nothing else. She would never know if he was genuine in his feelings or if he was manipulating her. She would never know if she loved him or hated him, or if she should love or hate him. It was a mystery now. These were just feelings that she would never move past until long forgotten. It was a shame she rarely ever forgot.

Susan's headlights shone across the campus building as she pulled into the lot dressed in her tactical gear. "Dressed" be used loosely. Some buckles weren't done and one of her shoes had gone untied, her shirt was pulled through a little askew. She had thrown everything on in a hurry to begin to attempt to deal with the threat, obviously distracted but they had gotten an all-clear. Susan had not taken it off or adjusted it at all. That time was spent sitting on her steps staring into nothingness. Her face was not wet. She had not been crying. It was sad but moreso it was all... empty and pointless.

The businesswoman trudged up the steps and floated inside the annex with a look of what conveyed as defeat across her face. It was almost as if she was on autopilot as she approached Julius's office. Her hand slowly turned the knob and she peered in, though she forgot to knock. The door creaked open and weary eyes quickly scanned the room enough in order to ensure that he was alone. Should he be she would drift toward his desk without making direct eye contact or greeting and gently lay the document in an unoccupied space, or some type of surface she could lay it.
"......I've finished it. The... report..." she trailed off, empty eyes downcast. A shaky, silent sigh vibrated through her.
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Philodai

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyWed May 29, 2019 12:32 am

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) VWB37Ve


These were... trying times.

And that was a serious understatement. If it were any other Psyche-Terrorist, Gabriel Gatsby's capture would've been cause for celebration. Had his old team been the one to nab him, they would be out in the Maid In Heaven and ogling the waitresses while waiting for their orders. But Julius sat alone in his office on his lonesome. There was paperwork to file, reports to be read, and schedules to consider. He had to admit, something about the Psyche-Terrorist Shotaro unnerved him as he irritably broke the nub of the ink cap by accident.

It was only then when a phone call came to interrupt him. The caller ID on his office receiver caused him to take a double take. He could feel his heart thudding harder against his chest. Why would he call him at this time? What could've happened? The thoughts were occupying his skull as he took the call.

"Chief Ihei. How may I help you, Sir?" Julius pleasantly asked over the receiver, his fingers gripping tightly around the plastic against his ear. He barely knew much of the new chief. From what people described of him, he wasn't anything special as far as any chiefs were, save for his work ethic. With the guards from the Sanctity Prison, it should be enough to keep the imprisoned Gatsby. In fact, it should be around this time when the transfer to the Prison for rehabilitation should be over, if everything went without a single hitch.

The hesitation was palpable over the connection, but the Prince was patient. He had to be. "Your Highness... we've had a breach at Gabriel Gatsby's cell. The S.P.G. used lethal force... I'm sorry, Sir. He's dead."

The call fell silent. The Chief shifted uncomfortably in their seat as he waited. He knew the Prince was a professional like him. But he was also the son of the Queen. It made him begin to sweat bullets for bringing this failure in his very precinct to the Lamecia.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) AQ8Wblh

"...I see. It sounds like there's more to this. Continue, Ihei."

----------------------

When Susan entered the room, she would indeed find Julius alone in his seat, as if expecting her. He quietly sat there, watching her. His visage didn't betray any emotion. Despite the lack of tears, she definitely changed. Julius only held out a hand towards her, gesturing for the pile of printed paper she so no doubt rigorously manufactured for his perusal. But he also motioned her to take a seat. When it was in his hands, he took a few quick glances at each page before setting it aside to look at her. It was only a slim moment, as if making last minute deliberations.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) BETAYY6

"Do you want to talk, Susan?"

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyWed May 29, 2019 1:43 am

The report slipped out of her fingertips much less was it handed over, her fingers curling back into her hand at their loss. She let her arm swing to her side. Susan couldn't bear to face him much like she couldn't anyone. The eyes were the window to the soul. Someone... important had told her that. And hers was bloodied and bruised, the slightest touch tearing at paper skin. No one could meet her there on the inside, it would hurt more than help and even if the pain meant healing there was only so much she could bear before it killed her. And the only one who could have made this clear, who could have lifted that weight and shown her what she needed to know and understand...

She supposed this meant she would never recover, if she could never heal from this.

The melancholy woman took her seat as prompted, moving like a ghost. Slow. Purposeful. Without any liveliness she lowered herself into her seat. Still she didn't look at his face and give him power over her not well understood. On several levels was she in pain, on a few she was afraid of what she might do with that. She was afraid of opening herself up, of shutting herself in, of being close and near to others. Her heart was like a crying child, screaming and screaming and crying and hurting and unable to communicate what it wanted and no matter what, no matter what she would do it just would not cease. Allowing him to look her in the eyes like this could be devastating. The last thing she needed was pity from someone else, a reminder that even in her last bastion of work she could still be betrayed there as well. Considered "unfit" from this. It was all she could do to hold together what was left and continue to move forward until she finally broke down for the last time like the heartless machine others thought she was.

Susan did not want to talk. She did not want to be. Her only desire was to be left alone for the rest of her days, interacting with no one, separated from the hurt with no reminder or glimpse of hope of "what could be" to taint her and coax her into running herself on a spike again. Still she did not look at him. The businesswoman opened her quivering mouth as if to speak, leaving it to quake before taking a gulp. She took a shaky breath.
"...........whatever would we talk about...?" Her voice came soft and in a rising inflection, a slight attempt at normalcy despite the look of death she wore on her face and the defeat in her posture. But she would not leave it at casual dismissal as she had beforehand.
".......what can possibly be said about this...? It isn't......... going to change anything... nothing can fix it......"
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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptySun Jun 02, 2019 12:37 am

He was afraid of this. Afraid that she sunk deeper into that dark pit by the person she believed in dug. It was one thing for the one you cherished to end up being your enemy to arrest and another when they kept this fact from you, but there was also dying in prison like a rabid dog. The amount of despair and pain she harbored was something he couldn't ever begin to fathom. The lack of prim and proper Susan once proudly wore unnerved him, evident signs that there was something wrong.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) HF1RAX0

"Whatever you want to talk about, Susan. No matter how long. I believe I said before I'm always open to listen to you. I intend to keep that promise." The Prince assured her as he remained seated and engaged. He was definitely not going anywhere. Having already hesitated once, he didn't tarry in his response. He admitted gravely and honestly while looking into her eyes. "Nothing may ever will. You might be right about that. You're in Hell now, Susan. It hurts. The only way out of that pit is to climb out, but you're afraid because it would hurt again and there will be no point. But your only options are to stay in that pit to brave through the pain and reach for a better day no matter how uncertain or to bury yourself in the pit on the absoluteness of no hope or salvation. That choice is yours to make... I believe in you, Susan. Because you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You stopped one of the Jest from causing a train accident, led the Cadets to capture its leader, and you made sure to keep my Sister safe against desert bandits. They're no soft feats, not at all. Make this one another. To stand on your two feet and chin up, to face another day. Not because you work under me or your employer. Because you are Susan Groves, Class One of the Cadets."

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptySun Jun 02, 2019 2:56 pm

While his eyes were on hers Susan's were on the corner of his desk and particularly vacant, abnormal to her normal absent stare. It wasn't an inward look or star gazing, it was like stonework. Initially his reassurance to listen rolled off her as such, like rain on stone. It was comfort, pity she should not have needed... but she sorely did. Because he was right. She was human, after all. And thus far it had brought her nothing but suffering no matter how far she struggled against that. This was distressing. She realized that, she recognized it, and it frustrated her that she knew this and could do nothing for it. Try as she might to rationalize it away or change her point of view... nothing worked. Her heart still ached, and it ached further knowing nothing could be done about it. Her method to ease her suffering was... to take away that which was causing suffering. To solve the problem, but there would always be problems and always be suffering she could do nothing about and it added to the weight on her shoulders. She was not equipped to fix herself and did not know what else to do. Nothing worked. He assured her that nothing would. It was her cross to bear.

And yet it was not all stonework, there were cracks in the stone for some things to get through. The mousy woman could register that it was not pity she was receiving, he was telling her to stand up as she had countless times before now and could again. There was no question in that she was capable, Susan had proven she was countless times. Prince Julius was right in his assumption, however. She did not see any point from here. If she were to endure the pain she would be rewarded with more suffering, this cycle would never break. She did not count on luck to save her, it never did. Her mouth opened as if to speak, her eyebrows furrowing in short-lived despair, threatening to cry again like that morning before she closed it. Choking it down she opened her mouth to respond.
"I-I-I... I-I don't see any po-oint, si-ir. Y... You are ri-ight," her voice quavered. Her eyes would flick toward and away from his as she continued.
"I-I can... *sniff* I-I can see thi-ings. H-how things wi-ill go-o. It is... i-it is no special po-ower, i-it is how I... think. *sniff* ...I-I can read into things a-and see all their elements and I make a decision o-on that. I-It is... why... I am good... a-at what I do." The businesswoman paused to wipe her eyes. The more she spoke the further she could feel the rock embed into her throat.

"*sniff* ...I was able to keep up hope after... b-because I could see it... It... I-I could have figured i-it o-out. *sniff* I-If he... l... loved me... *sniff* I don't even have that choice anymore...!" Her voice broke as the stone began to crack. It was only natural after it had been shattered so recently. Susan would look into Julius's eyes with ragged breaths as she fought back tears.
"I-I h-have... always been able to... s-see... s-something... *h-h-hiii-i-i* I climb out every day... A-and I keep fa-alling into them a-again. *sniff* .......it doesn't matter how careful o-or stro-ong I am, I see nothing but pain. Th-there is... th-there i-is nothing else, I do not... s-see any..." She was beginning to cross over the threshold, beginning to cry with her half-sentences and her heart bleeding all over the Prince's nice desk. Susan brought her hands to her chest and faced her knees, withdrawing in her seat.

"............I want to s-stay in the pit... sir........"
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Philodai

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptySun Jun 16, 2019 11:33 pm

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EVZNay9

"Seeing is believing... Yes, your observations and your on-point decision-making are characteristics I admired when you joined the corps." Julius finally remarked and admitted after Susan spoke about her treasured skills. It was difficult, but slowly he was beginning to realize something. To say that there was something wrong with her was truly an understatement. No, there was something more fundamentally flawed much deeper, even far below skin deep. "But seeing has its limits, curbed by the restrictions of what it can perceive and the horrible truths that shows itself to the eye. None of that will help you tonight, it weighs on you. What you need is not your observation nor your clinical decision-making, Susan."

He began to rise from his seat and slowly walk towards her. Yet he stopped near the sitting Cadet. Julius was looming over her, but he slowly knelt down to her level. If she did look up, the trace of a small smile greeted her. Though he wouldn't force her to see his face if the woman refused to.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Zvrne2J

"Giving up here would mean you would never be happy. All you would do is ensure that despair for yourself until the day you expire. Which is why you need to believe in something. Believe that there is something out there even if your odds are unlikely. Because it will carry you even when seeing fails you. Which is what I want to ask you. What exactly do you believe in?"

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyWed Jun 19, 2019 3:42 pm

Of course he did value her ability to put things together as she did, she expected nothing less. He spoke of leadership in their past and how she was valued for that rare ability to take little hints and clues and put together a picture, and then to formulate and execute a plan effectively based around that. But it was not only a gift. It was a curse. She could not help but to see these horrible truths, they would always be present and she could not turn away from them. Her mind simply did not work that way. Ignorance was not a path she was able to choose when answers floated in front of her and the pieces put themselves together automatically. All but what she apparently could not use to solve her own problems.

Observation and impartial decision-making... they were all she had to lean on. Listening to her heart was not something she was even the least bit capable of doing, it was speaking in another language. Susan did not understand any of the frothing, bubbling, boiling and burning soup of emotions that was sloshing around on the inside and frankly she did not want to; she wanted them to go away and leave her to put her life back together without making it painful. She wanted to be able to focus and make sound decisions about her present and future without writhing around clutching her chest and sobbing, she COULD NOT do the unthinkable which was to submerge herself in that red-hot liquid to find anything at all. She already knew what was there. Heartache. Susan didn't need to subject herself to that level of discomfort to discover that pain hurts, she was vaguely aware of that already. There was a reason that she left her emotions bottled up away from herself and others. They were hazardous materials.

The emotional woman balled her fists and bit her knuckles as he drew closer, giving him no more than a microsecond's eye contact at a time as she tried to quell the heaving in her chest. She could argue she would never be happy anyway and would be saving herself extra disappointment by failing to try but she wouldn't. It did not change the fact that she did not see a way forward. Susan opened her mouth to speak again but her voice cracked and she bit harder into the meat of her finger until she could compose herself. Speaking and communicating had become a herculean task when she no longer understood that which was what she wanted to represent. Yet still she continued to struggle and fight even after admitting verbal defeat; she held on with every scrap of dignity she could muster to avoid, even if for just this exchange, breaking down completely.

That was the problem alright: Susan had nothing left to believe in. That was why she was crying here. If she did, she would have hope and would align herself to that ideal and would choke her pain down in pursuit of whatever that may be. It was so incredibly obvious (to her) but she said nothing, it was nothing the Prince wanted to hear. He wanted something tangible, something usable, something that could be productive. Something. Not a weeping woman at rock bottom with nothing to grasp in that black sea, thrashing as she drowned. The businesswoman sniffled and covered her mouth with her hand to stifle herself, wet eyes scanning the room as if searching for that thing that she believed in. She stopped believing in the humanity of every single person after Infinite Jest reared their ugly heads. Once she had believed in Gabriel but that was a mistake. She stopped believing in fighting for her future after he died, and showed her how futile that was. Even now… she couldn’t be certain after all this time and all this suffrage that she could believe in God either. She couldn’t hear His voice inside try as she might and that made sense, she had started to stray down a cruel path from which there was no return for the safety of her city and against the Apocalypse itself. It was a path without forgiveness or mercy where life had no sanctity, where God was absent and there stood only bad men and those that would stop them at any cost.

And as she reflected on that and clutched her internal wound on the brink of breaking down and giving up she could hear Him again, just as she had realized that she could not.

………………………..I-I believe in this organization… she squeaked through her hand, ”……….*sniff* I-I believe in hah-human ability and *sniff* …a-and I believe i-in our mission and my *sniff!* …my ability to affect change and protect a-and stuh-stop *gulp* …thi-hings like this from happening at all…..! Try as she might Susan was losing her fight not to become inconsolable, wailing her affirmation through her hands as they both clasped over her mouth to hold back… what? The sobbing that was happening anyway? Tears flowed freely down her hands already even with her eyes locked open and straining not to do so. Even at rock bottom and caught in the grip of progressively worst days of her life she wouldn’t allow herself to completely lose it. Not all the way.
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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptySun Jul 07, 2019 1:59 am

She was beginning to break and she was hurting. He could see her struggling to keep afloat and maintain her professional dignity. There was a pride to her. A smoldering flame that was dying into embers by the dousing excruciating pain. But even that was a poison in this night. Her emotional turmoil was on the verge of spilling out, it was obvious. It was one thing to see it from his desk, but it was an entirely another thing when seeing her face to face while shaking under the weight of her pain. And despite it all, Susan kept trying to remain rigid above her pain even if that mask was slipping off. The Cadet would begin to feel his arms around her and his cheek against hers as one hand softly tapped against her back to console her.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Zvrne2J

"You don't have to give me an answer that makes me happy.
I just want you to give me an answer that is true to you.
Regardless of what I dislike. Be honest with yourself and let it go.
You at least owe this much to yourself, Susan. It's okay to cry."

He would quietly wait for the bulk of her pain to recede and when the sobs began to decrease in number before retreating back to kneeling near her while still having one hand on her shoulder. The Prince quietly continued to examine her before heaving a small sigh to himself, as if trying to search for anything or anyone that could possibly help the sorrowful woman. His eyes meandered about to the side at the carpeted floor before finally looking straight into Susan to speak. "Even if you don't have anything to believe in to keep you going, that's okay too, Susan. Not everyone has it. You can take the first step to finding it and it's not impossible. It will be difficult. But I promise you that when you find it, it'll become your strength and your guiding light to be happy. And like I said, I'm open to help you when you need it. I want you to think about it... Can you do that, Susan?"

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyTue Jul 09, 2019 6:18 pm

A breath held itself in her throat as the Prince held her. Her arms tensed in the air as he consoled her, unknowing what to do with them. She had always shied away from human contact in the best of times, she thought it uncomfortable and awkward and was not aware with how to deal with it. And she had always pushed forward and thrown her sorrows over her back that she could continue marching because the world would not stop and she had to move with it. But all those had collected and festered and weighed her down as they began to drag her into the mud. Susan had never felt it had ever been okay to cry and she had never truly wept. Much less had she ever been told it was okay. And in his embrace Julius's lesson had finally sunken in.

She was only human. And people needed human contact. And they needed to cry. And that was okay.

"*sn-sniff* Hi-hiii...! .....Hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-h-h-h....!"
All remnants of her composure shattered along with the floodgates of tears. The tiny woman pressed her face into Julius's shoulder as she sobbed, heaving with uneven breaths and hiccups with her arms wrapped around him. The weight of the world had brought her into the dirt and she needed this. She needed to sob and bathe in anguish and feel pitiful about herself and curse the world for what it had done. Bottling it all up this long was like water in her lungs.
"I-hiii it's nuh! Not fuh! Faaaaaa-a-a-aiiiir...!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cried out enough for the moment but still shaking and looking and feeling like a miserable wretch she took herself away from him to wipe her face. Her tears were still running but she felt... uplifted somehow. Like a subsiding chest pressure. She wasn't hopeful nor did she learn how to better deal with this situation but crying her eyes out lifted some of the weight from her. The moment of letting go left as easily as it came with his hand upon her shoulder. Her hands now rested clasped in her lap to herself and she felt... an odd mix of relief and shame. He still asked for his reason. She had given it. Yet she was still suspecting he was right, it was not good enough. She could not subsist alone on the want to accomplish and do good, she had done so up to this point and suffered an embarrassing emotional breakdown. However, if he had asked then she would continue to keep looking. He did not give up on her and he dealt with all of the ugly fall out. She had failed. She did. She failed to keep herself together. But he did not count that against her and as long as he did not she could find her legs to try again.

The distraught woman gave the Prince a pained, tearful frown and a trembling nod.
"*sniff* I will try sir... *H-hiii...* ...I will try..." Susan turned her eyes away and looked to her knees, the floor, she bit her lip. This is why she refused to accept that it was alright to cry. She was embarrassed and useless and pathetic like this and it was not worth the indulgence. The short woman swallowed and gasped. She had to move forward.
"I-I apologize that I-I *hi-hiiiii...!* ...th-that I am always cry-ying around you. ...*sniff* I am really not like this. I duh... don't know what overcomes me." She summoned enough strength to look back toward him and shake her head, "I don't mmmm-mean to be a burdern sir, this is *sniff!* guh, this is not... acceptable, you have your o-own pr-... problems and I..." she trailed off. Susan did not know where she was going but felt compelled to apologize for this. She should grow up and act like an adult. Her make-up had run into the shoulder of his uniform even, the office woman was only causing problems being mopey.

Susan grew more animated and leaned over to grab tissues Julius had had on his desk since last time, likely expecting this. Unprompted she hovered to dab at the stain she left.
"*sniff!... I'm so sorry sir I have ruh-ruined your co-oat..."
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Philodai

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyFri Jul 19, 2019 2:49 pm

Susan would feel his hands patting against her head and her back as she let out all of that pain into the bare openness of his office. He patiently waited for her sorrow to finish spill out and didn't say a single word. As much of an amazing individual she was with her organized and structured mind and her powers, she was still a person who held her own experiences dotted with triumphs, failures, strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. This was why he could never truly find himself condemning anyone. People needed to feel they were worth salvation. In its own way, it was pitiful as it was understandable. He warmly smiled with approval as she made that one step to try. It was all he asked and probably what she needed at this moment. Susan would feel a finger on her lips to shush her and keep her in her seat while he reached for the tissues himself to dab away.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) JixpcCl

"Don't apologize, Susan. This is only natural, I like to help my friends.
If I can't help them with their problems, I can't call myself a good leader, can I?
But, never mind that... How are you feeling?"

He made a few dabs off his uniform to make it at least somewhat presentable, but it was clear with how deeply set it was into the fabric that he opted to just ignore it after flicking a few of the tissues away into the nearby trashcan. Julius studied her as she regained her composure. She seemed better, less tears streaming out of her eyes at least. It didn't mean she fully recovered from the pain, no one ever could. But at least, she can find closure somewhere in all of this. "Susan, I will have a meeting in the morning about the recent events. If you want to rest, I understand. You have my permiss--"

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) ToTr3f6



"Goshujin-sama~ You have a call~ Moe moe kyuuun! <3
Please take it for looooove! Or we're gonna punish you! Tee Hee!~"

Julius froze, as if he wasn't expecting the ringtone to go off in the middle of something important.  The ringtone continued to utter its singsong tone before the Prince stoically drew out his cellphone to view the Caller ID. He grimaced and gave an apologetic glance to Susan before raising the receiver to his ear. The calm of his voice can be heard as he recognized the other side of the receiver. "Julius, speaking. Serenity? Yes... Very well, I will head over as soon as I finish the paperwork. Yes. I haven't forgotten. I will see you soon."

He heaved a sigh the moment the call ended. The phone was set aside without fanfare as Julius addressed the Cadet, "Apologies, I... I could've sworn I changed the ringtone last week."

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyMon Jul 22, 2019 4:46 pm

This was a bittersweet feeling. Human contact was a very powerful thing and as antisocial as she was Susan couldn't deny that being held and cooed helped, despite how worthless and pathetic she felt for needing it instead of being able to handle herself. She was not a child. She should be able to tough out "bad feelings" and continue onward with her life as if they were not there and she wished very much to do so. But she had been envenomed and misled and stabbed in her weak spot this time. The mousy woman had not been held like this since him, and there came the bitterness. The feeling of uselessness. She had needed it that time too and could not help but draw comparisons. The comfort was laced with painfully nostalgic memories of a sugar-coated lie.

But it did help.

Her brow furrowed in concern with his finger to her lips as His Highness took to blotting his coat himself and what he had said struck a negative chord of which she could only find with all of her flaws and insecurities withering in the light of day. He had said he had wanted people who could lead and good leaders were devoted and kind and she knew that. He had demonstrated that. And it was where she was failing. Yet she had promised to try and do her best. Truth be told Susan was never good at answering the question "How are you feeling", she often did not know or could not articulate it... but at this moment she had felt at her lowest.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Tired11

"Sss-ss... sad.
Lll... Like a failure. .....A-and an-nnn idiot."

Control over her words was beginning to come back and the speaking was difficult but her chest was no longer heaving even if her voice was croaky. It was much easier to put things simply and analyze what she was going through, to take away the power her emotions held over her. If she could name the woe and find it's intricacies and roots and all she could understand it... and no longer need to feel it. A pain you had braced for was one you could endure. The businesswoman began to shake her head at the Prince's next words, telling her to rest. She would insist that she was much happier with something to wrap her mind around and besides there were important things that needed to be tackled and discussed but it was interrupted by... the strangest phenomenon.

Susan froze with him, her brain unable to comprehend the atmospheric shift, the unfittingly upbeat music, the cutesy voice speaking the most cringe-worthy thing. And the way he just... answered his phone as if this was a normal everyday occurrence that wasn't embarrassing at all. The entire thing was so... ridiculous!
The Prince would see Susan, likely for the first time he ever had, crack a smile before covering it with her hand. When Julius addressed her he would find her stifling giggles.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Elated10

"Mmmhmmhmm! I w-won't- I-I won't tell a soul, sir. Mmhmmhmm!"

Just as quickly as it came would it vanish as Susan took great pains to bring back her neutral expression. She slid her hand down her chin with a shaky sigh to regain her normal blank composure, save for the red eyes and damp cheeks that pointed out exactly what she had been doing minutes earlier. However, she didn't have anything immediate to say despite feeling as if she should. What could you even say after sobbing on your boss's shoulder as he held you? "Thanks"? The awkward woman became visibly uncomfortable and her eyes began to wander.
"R-right... U-Umm...!" she sputtered in a vain attempt to lead somewhere.
"...I-I will be at the meeting tomorrow, despite how... I-I am feeling it is imperative I be there after... ah... a-all that has happened. Follow-on action must be discussed and I will be important for doing that."

All she said was true and her reason yet still... yes that was right, he had something to be doing. She should leave. Susan stood and began to collect her report from his desk.
"Y-you are probably going to be busy. Thank you for your time sir, I will see you tomorrow morning." Susan only managed one step before her brain engaged. She gave him the report when she walked in. The businesswoman stopped to look at him and sheepishly hand it out for a second.
"U-umm, this is yours." ...before pulling it back and placing it on his desk where it was.
"U-umm..." Susan planted both hands behind her on the desk and pursed her lips, staring at the Prince looking just a little bit lost.
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Philodai

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyTue Jul 23, 2019 2:05 pm

At first he was half-expecting her to claim that she was alright, but yet she subverted his expectations. The answer she gave felt like it was the more truthful ones than claiming that they were fine. It was going to be a rocky road to wherever she was going. But, maybe she might just be alright and he would be there when she needed it. It was at that the Prince nodded with a sign of relief on his face as she finally began to be honest with herself and acknowledging it to boot. He ruefully smiled at her as he leaned back against his desk. "You might be sad, but I can affirm you are not a failure and an idiot, Susan. I can promise you that."

Of course, all of that vibe just had to be ruined with that damnable call. Try as he might to remain composed with all of the decorum of his station, the phone call was the instantaneous death knell for all things serious, even despite clearing his throat after all of that. In any other situation, the Prince would mentally groan to himself about the embarrassment. But, it was okay. Because for once, he managed to see her smile genuinely as she struggled to keep the mirth down for all that she was worth. Though her insistence on coming wasn't something he would've liked, but it wouldn't be like as if she would listen and having her input on this was always welcome. He merely nodded, knowing she would go anyway no matter how many times he would insist otherwise. Though he found himself raising an eyebrow as she began to collect the files as a small amused grin flitted up. "Good night."

But she did realize her error and awkwardly gave it back before standing around awkwardly. He grasped the report and bid her farewell.

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Zvrne2J

"It's alright, Susan. You may go. Get some rest, you earned it."

When she took that cue to go, his eyes were glued on the door that closed behind her. Then he broke out into a small chuckle before shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you...?"

----------------------

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) RpppwvZ

Julius Lamecia of the Tower and Susan Groves of the Priestess have strengthened their Bond to Rank 2!

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PostSubject: Re: What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL)   What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) EmptyWed Aug 07, 2019 2:48 pm

That's right. She was leaving, that's what she was doing. The momentary distraction made it easier to push her distress under the waves of apathy again where it could not be seen although it caused confusion on her part but she was leaving, he was busy.
"G-good night," she choked out a flustered reply, struggling to retain her composure as she quickly shuffled toward the door. Susan's mind was abuzz with all forms of chaos and uncertainty. How did she proceed from here? What would she do tomorrow? How did she even react to now? She couldn't honestly be expected to know how to deal with this! How do you even act after sobbing on your boss's shoulder after...? The businesswoman felt pathetic and she only knew how to be apologetic about the situation, this should not have happened. She was expected to be more mature than this.

As he bid her farewell she made her leave... but hovered at the doorway. Susan gulped. She should say something, but what was even appropriate anymore?

What Is There Even To Be Said (Susan & Julius Lamecia NPC SL) Tumblr_ok2hjyUSKY1tydz8to1_540

".........Thank you...!"

...it came out as more of a gasp than anything else. And she continued to stand there for a few moments as her brain decided what it was doing.

........well? What was that? What are you looking for, closure? You have closure. You should not have said anything, it is becoming more awkward. Leave before you make it worse.

A subtle shake back and forth belied how she was dealing with things and she started off once more.
"Have a-a good... night sir..." With her finally gone, she took a deep breath and ran her hand along her face. The sadness was... there. It went back to being numb now but it was there. However Susan had a plan now. ...or rather, she had a... goal...? "Believe in something." It wasn't very convincing but she had said she would try. Her tennis shoes squeaked as she dragged her feet toward her car. There wouldn't be any rest this night but she had to at least try to pick up the pieces again.

~~Exit~~
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