The Art of Self-Expression (Susan & Gabriel)

Susan had spent her week in a very unfocused state indeed. Her last date with Gabriel had given her a lot to process and she most definitely needed the solitude to do so. It was often she would mentally disappear to think on things for a time, what had happened, the implications, how she had done well and what she needed to improve upon... It was... tumultuous and confusing with her lack of skill in grasping how she felt, in most circumstances she did not even consider it. Underneath her cool, aloof demeanor the ocean waves were rocking. The businesswoman had beaten herself up for not catching certain signals and she was terrified of what he had thought of her unwilling attitude. Though... she did enjoy herself, and Gabriel as well, and wished to spend more time with him. Most importantly is What were her future plans? as she always had the need for one. Susan had her reasonable concerns of course, though she was looking critically and into the future. One of which would be if she could "keep up with him" in a sense. Fun diversions and adventure were all well and good... however she could not do those so frequently, it would wear on her nerves, and if this were to become the serious relationship she was attempting to make it she would need to be able to do something quieter. It had taken her most of the entire week to return to a majorly functioning mindset after that one night where she wasn't biting her fingernails in worry or sighing wistfully as she stared through the walls.

...and afterward she had her own self-induced anxiety in choosing an activity. It would need to be meaningful and something they could both enjoy. She had gathered that Gabriel happened to like emotionally resonating experiences of a novel nature, and she herself wanted to talk about deeper topics. Her ideal experience would be a walk by the riverside, perhaps a picnic, but... she did not think that would be very engaging or memorable, nor grand. It needed to be bold as he happened to be, she believed he would appreciate that. And yet she was unwilling to take risks, which gave her precious few options. Her choices were clear: she could set her own reservations aside and most likely not enjoy herself, she could risk boring him, or she could find compromise. After a few days of contemplation Susan had decided to reserve spots for a painting class. It took her hours alone to work up the courage to actually place the call and she was normally proficient at dealings of this nature, however... it was a couple's class which brought its own concerns.

Did she dare attempt to "label" things, especially so early? P-Perhaps it would not be the wisest idea. However... if this were to be another date of sorts that would technically make them a couple and she could see no issue with that. I-It was only an enjoyable activity to be performed with two people, there didn't need to be connotations associated with it at all. She had nervously started a text conversation with Gabriel asking him if he would be free on the weekend afternoon and informing her of her plans, a few days in advance of course to allow for adjustment.


Well... the day had arrived as planned and Susan was anxious as she normally was. The businesswoman sincerely want this to go well and fretted over her choice. She sat on a bench outside of the studio long before the scheduled time with her nose in her tablet, dressed far more casually in a simple shirt and shorts with shoes she found attractive. Getting paint on any of her nice blouses would be unforgivable yet she opted to dress nicer in more comfortable clothing. She could always purchase new clothes should these be ruined and opted to look her best. As she perused through articles and pecked at side projects and ideas her eyes were barely focused on the computer in front of her, in all reality she was running through possible scenarios, responses, and contingencies in her head before Gabriel arrived. It would not do to be unprepared.

Gabe was rather confident at the success of the date that he had with Susan. They shared a lot together, in the sense of she not liking to sing too much and the sense of Gabe sharing his favorite song with her. After a while, the workload became busy on both ends, so most of the interactions came back to texting. Things were fine, Gabe would sometimes catch himself wondering what she was doing and things of the sort. As a matter of fact, he wondered if he was supposed to be planning the next activity with susan? There were plenty of things that Gabe had in mind, but he had to settle on the idea that Susan didn't have that super outgoing aura about her and he didn't want to give off the impression of being high maintenance towards her.

*Ring, Ring*

Much to Gabe's surprise, He was invited to an outing with Susan, something of her choosing this time.

"Painting huh? Alright...."

---

A few days later, Gabe arrived at the chosen spot.

"Did I keep you waiting too long?"

Overtime the businesswoman would become increasingly engrossed by the screen in front of her, mentally drifting away as her fingers aligned spreadsheets and formatted presentations she was hardly paying attention to at all. Her mind was much more preoccupied with much more important matters, steeling herself for this interaction though she did not know exactly what to expect. Perhaps that was a good thing, it would make the experience a bit more different than what she was used to, she felt that going through the motions would not be good enough and yet this was a quiet and intimate activity, a fitting compromise. She began to think on conversation topics with which to broach and found it rather difficult. Family was out, they already knew of each other's occupations and what they did for fun. They could possibly talk about the present or the future, current events possibly? No, no, that could branch into politics and leave a sour taste. He seemed to be somewhat spiritual, perhaps she could bring up something of a deeper nature? Yes, that may work, but where to go from there? What were her options if that was not a good topic? Susan hummed to herself irregularly with a furrow on her brow as her brain laser-focused on this thought until it was interrupted, causing her to peer over her tablet.


It appeared as if Gabriel had arrived as planned. It was slightly odd to see him in more casual dress rather than his dapper demeanor, it was as if that man was born to wear a suit. Yet even dressed down he still appeared quite bold, striking, and confident as opposed to Susan who didn't want to draw attention to herself. Her face remained neutral with an empty, dreamy gaze until the reality of the situation and what he had said struck her which resulted in a flustered look from the timid woman.
"O-oh...! I mean, n-no. I-I mean... h-hello Gabriel...!" Susan smiled a panicked, shy smile as she sputtered and began the time-old ritual of sticking her foot in her mouth.
"I-I was... I was not waiting long is what I am failing to say," the short woman jokingly lied. She had been there a while already but not because Gabriel had been late or anything of the sort. Susan had arrived early to ensure that this was the correct location, their class was reserved, exactly what they would be doing, etc. so she would not be taken off-guard and made a fool of herself.

But it had been too late. She was already doing so, without fail. She would love to just relax and begin talking again though she could feel the pressure from having chosen this date, it had to meet his expectations and by proxy she did as well. As with market goals and mission objectives it would not do to underperform on a date.
...o-oh, yes she should probably engage in small talk beforehand. Or any kind of talk. Susan had been nervously chewing her lip unconsciously for a few moments rather than speaking as she thought of what to say.
"I-It is very nice to see you again, Gabriel, it feels as if it has been too long...! How... have you been?" The meek woman was internally kicking herself as she stumbled over her greeting. She did not normally have problems with speaking to others, she could do so very well in a professional or casual setting. And yet... dating was completely foreign territory and etiquette. Relationships even more so.

Noticing that he may have caught Susan off guard a bit by startling her, Gabe smile a bit as he sat next to Susan. He figured that this was the meeting place, but there could be a few minutes before the class starts. It was pretty nice outside, he wanted to enjoy this weather with her.

"I'm alright, I was actually wondering when you were going to contact me. Not to say that I was worried that I gave you a bad impression, but I wanted to be sure that whatever the reason was, it wasn't avoidance due to anything negative that I may have done without knowing. As a matter of fact, your text came at a time I was going to talk to you about that, so it cleared up everything on my end."

Gabe was at least modest about the whole altercation.

"Oh, I also caught a little bit of a cold, or I believe I'm catching something. It's really hard to tell, you know "know", and then the next thing you are trying to do is to drink as much orange juice as you can. I'm hoping it'll pass, I feel fine for the time being."

After saying all of that, Gabe would turn to Susan.

"How about you? Anything new or interesting come along?"

The small woman would scooch aside to allow Gabriel room to sit, dutifully placing her tablet into her bag so she could give him 100% of her undivided attention. It made a soft, muffled clink as she stowed it away in her much-larger-than-usual bag, a far cry from the normal purse she'd carried in the past. Susan had a surprise in store. She... honestly did not care for surprises, they interrupted her carefully structured plans but Gabriel seemed to for what she gathered. The businesswoman had crafted something to go the extra mile this time around, if they were going to have a more laid-back experience she would make it worthwhile through sincerity.

She would listen as he spoke, though she felt a pang of guilt. She had accidentally offended him with her hesitance and slowness to take initiative. This caused her concern, of course, for the both of them as it put a hitch into more of her strategies and pointed out that undeniably and objectively....... she had no idea what she was doing. From what she had read online, how long she had taken to arrange this, her work schedule, and her own nerves she believed a little over a week between dates to be adequate however she was sorely mistaken. This would take more research and organizing to find the "sweet spot" of how much is too much contact and what is too little. Susan chewed on her tongue as she thought of how to respond, should she make up an excuse about work or simply tell the strange truth? .....in no time at all the timid woman had decided that it was better to be honest, if Gabriel could be honest and direct with his own perception of events she should be as well.

"N-not at all...!" she protested, placing a hand over her chest, "You were a perfect gentleman and it was a wonderful evening despite... being outside of my comfort zone the majority of the night, I would do so again. I apologize, I did not mean to be insensitive. It is just..." Susan took a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes. It would be difficult to speak about so plainly but it was something that had to be said, and she couldn't lie to him.
"I-It is just... I am someone who needs alone time to decompress and often more than others would. It was a very exciting evening and I enjoyed myself but... afterwards I-I needed that time to recharge and reflect by myself. I... did not realize you would think anything is wrong, I'll try to be more considerate."

Susan allowed her eyes to open but cast them down to an empty spot on the bench on the opposite side as she spoke. She was... certain she could be a little more engaging with time, but at the moment she happened to be quite embarrassed.


The finding the activity did not take nearly as long as steeling herself to message Gabriel, she had agonized for days on how to approach it. Susan would find herself wringing her hands but catching herself being melancholic again on a date, a cardinal sin she could not stop repeating, she made an effort to look toward him and lighten the tone... though she did hear of his illness. It took an incredible amount of willpower not to shift a few feet away from him. She was no germaphobe nor did she have a weak immune system, however Susan could ill afford to get sick with her new responsibilities piling on top of her old ones. But she did not, for risk of further offending him and acting rudely.
"I see. Please let me know if you begin feeling ill at all, I have tissues and aspirin in my bag and I may drive you home if you like."

Susan would rub her neck at Gabriel's last question, less so out of habit and more so out of an unconscious tell. Her throat was still sore from being strangled by her Persona during the training session, though the bruising was hardly noticeable anymore and more importantly could be covered up by make-up. She'd make a weak attempt to smile and get outside of her head for at least a moment, but she didn't wish to speak about her government involvement just yet. She didn't want his view of herself altered because of it.
"Oh, you know... the all-consuming eldritch fiend that is Work, Eater of Time and Signer of Paychecks. I've been given an additional job title recently and the responsibilities that come with it, and the end of the fiscal quarter is approaching which is hectic as always. O-oh...! U-um... something that isn't work... ...I've been trying to start my garden again recently...! I'm trying to grow pumpkins and squash so I have them in season for baking."

"Oh, I didn't really notice that quality trait from you. Maybe I blew it all out of proportion, I'll be sure to be mindful of your space next time. Though, I should have thought about the fact that I did take you out of your comfort zone as well, but I won't apologize for that. That part was intentional, I like to possibly add something to someone's life or give them a perspective of something new. I figured that some of the things that I enjoyed could easily be integrated into something that we could do together, which is why I sometimes come off so insistent about things. But, I also like it when i'm taken along for a ride without knowing what to expect, I'm pretty excited for our second date. "

Listening to her, Gabe would cover his mouth with a handkerchief as he let out a small cough. Afterward, he would put it away as he turned to her.

"Don't worry about the whole sick thing, I'll do everything that I can to make sure that whatever I have won't inconvenience you in the slightest."

Even if Gabe was to get sick, he would be sure that Susan won't. In the midst of the pumpkin things, it made Gabe remember the pumpkin demon that tried to kill him a long time ago. It also made him remember one punch frost and how it kind of made him more inclined to rush to the aid of someone if they needed help. That was the only exception of change that Gabe believed a demon could have, the simple fact that a demon saved his life before.

"I have a patch of small land in sunlake palms that i purchased off the local garden field off of a woman named Freya. I managed to grow a pumpkin myself, you are free to use it to grow yours as well, i don't mind sharing."

After that, Gabe would breathe in.

"Is the art studio open yet?"

"Oh I would accept no apology if you had done so," Susan smirked, lightening up a bit, "I understand that was your intention and I do not expect you to apologize for trying to include me in your experience." The timid woman grew more comfortable and confident as her analyses continued to be correct from their last date. It brought her a sort of pride, and as arrogant as it was to admit she reveled in being right. His sharing of his favorite song led her to believe that he wished to "include" her and he was a staunch idealist.
"I-I believe that that sort of aspiration is a positive quality..." she trailed off, wringing her hands together, "...b-but I will make a point to contact you more often, it is only fair." It was the closest she was going to come at this stage in the relationship of saying I love your ambition! But p-perhaps she was being too stuffy and should take the hints to open up further. Rome wasn't built in a day, she would accomplish this over time. At the least she was also pleased that she had planned a surprise and he had just admitted to enjoying surprises, so she had been correct in that as well. What had made her anxious was if her surprise was "good enough".

"As you wish, Gabriel. But please do not push yourself for my sake. If you are not feeling your best I will understand and we may reschedule." Susan was not worried for Gabriel very much, she trusted he could take care of himself and was aware of his own limitations. However, she would feel guilty if he fell ill. She made a mental note to integrate this into her future considerations and immediately began planning in the back of her mind. The businesswoman did crack her blank look of contemplation to crack a sweet smile. She did not pin him for a gardener!
"Hmmmhmmm thank you but no thank you Gabriel, I've already planted them," she chuckled, "Perhaps next season, though I could plant marigolds if you need protection from rabbits." Though she was enjoying the pleasant conversation per usual Gabriel seemed eager to get to task. They would have plenty of time to speak during their activity regardless.
"Yes," the businesswoman answered simply, "I have made certain to check beforehand. Shall we go?"Susan would collect her bag and lead the way in stride, nerves picking at her in hopes he would be impressed.



The studio in question was a part of the Viva La Vista Community Center, a five-story building with multifaceted floors and things to offer from language classes to a public gym area and in their case, an art studio on the fifth floor. Within there would be a plethora of displays and submitted pieces from students. A few other couples with similar hopes milled about until someone who was obviously the instructor, a young man with a skinny build, dyed hair, and peircings would enthusiastically direct the class to take their art supplies with them up one more floor to the roof.

Upon the roof was a community garden, with a proper garden area more sheltered and equipped for growing herbs and small vegetables and a more scenic area meant for sitting and appreciating the beauty of the blooming flowers and gentle shrubs. From here they could also see the city-scape mostly from up above, with the larger monoliths standing out against the late afternoon sun. The class "goal" if it could be said was simple: with a little instruction and easels side by side they would paint something that could be combined into one painting, or one whole painting of two different styles both could contribute to. The roof offered an array of subjects of which they could choose from and there was no hand-holding. Susan would focus on setting up and making certain everything was neatly organized and ready for painting before unveiling what her surprise had happened to be: a bottle of wine and two wine goblets tenderly wrapped to avoid breaking. Of course, this was a paint-and-sip class where attendees could bring their own beverages if they wished Gabriel would recognize this wine as the same variety and even brand of what he had toasted her with on they night they had first met.

Upon making it to the roof with Susan, Gabe would take a small peep at the other things that the community center had to offer. It kind of gave the man an open mind about visiting again if possible. As for the prime location of the painting class, the scenery was quite beautiful. The setup was also something that Gabe found unique, instinctively helh the setup of the items so she wouldn't do it alone. Gabe would have actually set it up all by himself if he knew what to do, but he appreciated the woman's effort and it made quite an impression on him.

[color=#ffccff]"Is this?"

Reaching over to the bottle of wine that was placed nearby, Gabe picked it up and looked at the brand.

"If I recall, we sell this at the lucky clover as well. I think we had our first toast to it. You remember....."

There was a light blush for the sentiment, it looked like Susan really put in a lot thought into this activity. In exchange for something like that, Gabe wanted to be able to paint something pretty nice for her. Afterall, he used to own a bookstore and made his own storyboards. How hard can it be?

"So, what should be our focus of art today"

The businesswoman appreciated the assistance of course, but made no note of it as she committed herself to her task. She could be quite capable of accomplishing anything on her own despite what her anxious nature may lead people to believe but it was still nice to know she didn't need to do all things herself. Even if she would like to at times. She held her breath as he noticed the bottle, doing an unconvincing job of pretending to mix paints as she waited for his interpretation and if he would notice. From the sound of his voice he apparently did and she could almost feel the blush radiating off him as it spread tension to the air. Susan was unsure if this made her more nervous, embarrassed, or if she was pleased. She continued to occupy herself with the paints as she tensed.

"Y-yes, I asked the bartender after you left what it was that you had. I was... personally curious." Her tone of voice remained fairly neutral as did her expression and had incidentally bordered on dismissive, though her posture and the pinkness in her face belied how she truly felt. After a moment of reflection supported by objective rationalization such as her own lack of stutter nor hesitance to speak Susan had discovered that she was in fact happy at this development, though far too uncomfortable to show it outwardly. But... that could be remedied. Susan turned to Gabriel to pull the bottle of wine from his grasp without a word, opening it with a corkscrew from her bag and filled the two goblets, taking one for herself to sip from generously. When his question came on what they should paint Susan froze, lingering with her mouth to her wine.

The small woman blinked.
"I... had not thought that far..." she admitted. The businesswoman had been so focused on staging the activity that she had completely neglected to factor in the activity itself. Her eyes turned upward for a few moments as she thought over the options before her. Personally she would prefer to paint the city. It contained many straight lines and therefore would be much simpler for her to do... though it may not be the most exciting or colorful. The garden was the obvious romantic choice and she could see no downsides. But then there was the impact of her choices and what that would say. How would he interpret it if she wished to paint one versus the other? If she had stated what she wanted, the city, he might see her as cold and unfeeling for its simplistic nature and maybe boring. Yet... he may believe her to have some hidden sensitive side should she say the garden. ...Susan did not possess this side in great quantities, she was a logistician, not some secret tulip afraid to bloom and fostering that belief could potentially be exhausting. She would want to defer to him but if she did so she may seem passive and uncaring but then again it could appeal to him to take charge and as he had said he did enjoy involving people in his interest. But acting independently may show that she is capable of pursing the same line of initiative.

Susan chewed her lip and absentmindedly sipped on her drink. She would make the best decision based on the data available to her. Quite personally... she did not care much about painting, she sought conversation and quality time with Gabriel and painting enabled that. And so the optimal decision would be based around his interests. Susan paled as she realized what this decision would be and lost her cool facade.
"G-Gabriel, w-would you like t... to paint each... other...?" she timidly asked. It was bold, romantic, personal, and memorable. It was also incredibly uncomfortable for her, but success sometimes meant acting outside of your preferences. This would no doubt be an impressive move no matter how she felt about the matter, how she felt mattered little.

Thinking about what she said with the proposition of the, drawing each other, Gabe wondered about his own skills being good enough to be up to the task? He didn't want to mess this up in any kind of way, not if he wanted this to be a decent gift for Susan to keep later on. As a matter of fact, the offer of drawing her made his eye turn rather serious. A smile was on his face, but the look in Gabe's eye said somethiong else. For some reason, he was even more determined than before.

"If I'm given a task, I usually give it my all. But when it comes to painting such a beautiful woman in the midst of our courtship, i can't help but to think of anything other than my success in doing so. However, I refuse to decline such an offer to illustrate the natural form of your peaceful soul in this wonderful photo. I can only hope that the picture will be good enough to be something you will cherish. "

Gabe said this as he sat down on the opposite side of Susan, taking a sip of his wine as he started to paint while occasionally looking at her.

"Susan, as business professionals of our respective craft, i understand that sometimes work and things of that nature gets the better of us to keep us busy. However, I truly wonder why about how someone as special as you ended up without any sort of significant other whatsoever? I have my reasons, situations, excuses xo to speak, but i wonder if its a crime to desire such solitude as we live the lives of humans being sociable creatures. Some men and women praise that form of solitude , a form of empowerment or freedom that's not related to any other significant other. But....believe that with what we achieve or gain, the latent desire of sharing will never go away. Whatever that makes me happy or sad.....or...... ahh.... i ended up doing it again."

Gabe would say this as he peeked over to Susan from his side of the canvas.

Subtle panic would set in the longer Susan had thought of the implications of her request. Yes, it happened to be the most optimal choice but carried with it certain unforseen difficulties. Difficulties such as Susan would now have to spend a lot of time staring at Gabriel which would no doubt cause her stutter to flare up, and now her painting had to actually be good. Or at least adequate. She would be judged on her style to be certain. The timid woman immediately regretted her decision, she wished she could have chosen the landscape of the city as it was something she had experience in. She'd taken a painting class in college freshman year and landscapes were a big part of that, she wasn't incredibly adept at it but she happened to be more than passible. The look hard look he had given her was a-admittedly intimidating somewhat, and she shrank a bit.
"Th-that is... i-incredibly eloquent and flattering, Gabriel..." she flushed, averting her gaze and fanning her face with her hand as her breathing started to quicken.

The businesswoman truly had no counter-remark though she could think of things she could say or would be apt to say... but those would not be true to herself. Save for one.
"...b-but I do not think I can be as beautiful as you say, I-I'm more Helen Sharman than Helen of Troy...!" she tried to deflect, using her own nerdy humor. Of course, Susan did not find herself beautiful. Not that she thought herself particularly unattractive, however she believed herself decidedly average, possibly slightly above average. She did believe she looked young for 28 however she didn't agonize over her appearance as other women she knew. Susan dressed simply and neatly and wore appropriate makeup, but she was far from a model. Moreover, it was never on the forefront of her mind aside from appearing presentable for her situation. The small woman placed little value in her looks, she would rather be valued for her accomplishments or intelligence instead.

Though, she was incredibly relieved that Gabriel had referred to this as courtship, meaning it was in fact a relationship and she had assumed correct. It gave her a little surge of confidence to know that she was at least beginning to get some of these things right. Susan took to beginning her painting, occasionally staring at Gabriel with a focused gaze until she became too uncomfortable with the eye contact though she would improve as time went on. Admittedly she spent more time looking at him when he was focused on painting and not returning her stare. Opposed from him she would remain standing, as she was far shorter and it was easier to reach all parts of the canvas that way. She remained distracted and intent on her task until Gabriel spoke up himself, reminding her that she should probably also engage in conversation considering it was WHY she had chosen this activity. He asked why she remained alone. Other women may have taken this as an insult but Susan found it a funny coincidence, he sounded exactly like her parents did and couldn't help but smirk. She could understand the compliment behind it and a little objective rationale never hurt anyone.

"It is quite alright Gabriel, I enjoy listening to you," she chuckled. She would remain focused on her own painting, slowly taking larger pauses to look at Gabriel while she spoke.
"You are trying to say........ people belong together to share their life experiences, and our purpose on this earth is to celebrate and struggle with our fellow man... is that correct?" she would ask, becoming more engrossed. "I believe there is truth to that. I personally do prefer my solitude, although I would not call it freedom per se though it feels like that at times. It is..... comfort, I would say. It ensures that my schedule is not interrupted, a-and interacting with others is stressful, I am not very good at it. I don't dislike people yet it is draining to involve myself with them much of the time, at the end of the day after interacting with people I prefer to be alone and not be stressed. Though... humans are social creatures, and I do become lonely after isolation for long periods."

As Susan spoke clinically and in a neutral tone, turning focus back onto her painting she would hope that Gabriel would understand. She did not often share this detail about herself to other people for various reasons, mostly because they found it odd, robotic, that she didn't like them or they happened to think she was a bitter woman or some form of high-functioning sociopath for keeping her distance from people. The truth of the matter was that people made her anxious and took a large amount of energy to socialize with. It was an uncomfortable existence, so she maximized her alone time to avoid feeling this way. Of course she wouldn't tell Gabriel exactly how lonely she could be at times. After a solid month of work, long hours day in and day out, coming home to an empty house day after day... As Gabriel himself had experienced she had difficulty maintaining relationships, romantic or otherwise. Most people did not appreciate it or understand if she did not speak to them for weeks at a time, or turned down invitations to go places and do things.

"I suppose it has something to do with my work or predisposition..." she elaborated over the more personal matter, "I am incredibly dedicated to it and leave little time for socializing, and I have few peers. My childhood and college years were also spent in study and I have moved here fairly recently, although some wouldn't call three years recent. I... suppose it is a matter of priorities." The small woman frowned. She could really blame no one but herself that she was almost in her thirties and still by herself, she had personally placed little effort in it at all. Susan had instead sought to create a life and a career before attempting to bring someone into it, though after doing so most people her age were already married or said career stole all her time away. She had been so focused on herself that she missed all her opportunities to involve someone else. But she did not want to be morose, this was a date and she should be pleasant.
"I-It is a very fortunate thing we were able to meet, Gabriel," she sputtered, making a move to take another sip of her wine.

"B-but I am sure you do not want to talk about such things, let's talk about something else...!" the short woman deflected nervously. But now she had to think of a topic, which took her a few moments.
"...what of your own experiences, Gabriel? Where would you say your priorities are? I'm sure everyone has something they place more importance in than others."

Gabe listened to her intently, Susan really came off as a bit of a workaholic. There was nothing wrong with that, Gabe had a bit of those habits when he was making out his storyboards and things of the sort, he understood where she was coming from when enjoying her own company and reaching the limits of that.

"My own sort of priorities? What I consider important.....right?"

Continuing his painting of Susan with long careful strokes, Gabe would let out a silent hum as he thought of what mattered to him.

"Have you ever read a book called "the alchemist?" The artist is  the  Brazilian author Paulo Coelho. It's been translated into many languages, but the premises of the book was a boy trying to find his true obligation in life. Long story short, it spoke of everyone's great destiny, regardless of how different each one could be, with it being our only obligation to search for and to achieve. Maybe i'm looking for mine? My big story in life, following through the things I cared about the most. "

Thinking for a while, Gabe wasn't too sure if he told Susan this yet.

"There's something you don't know about me susan. I used to be a manga artist in the past. The casino owner that you see now, it's the result of having a foster father who owns a conglomerate of them, with a son that took a liking to me. Even though I had a bit of a trip in some cases and instances of my life, I even managed to open a bookstore as well. I have about three different types of manga stores, some more personal to myself than others.  And..... i lost it all. So in the case of..... one's life purpose... if left to fate or chance... do you wonder sometimes if the place you end up ...really is the best for you?"

The businesswoman smiled absently as she listened to Gabriel speak, again about literature. It pleased her to know he was so well-read and cultured, and that he could relate that to his own life in a way with those stories. She supposed she did too at one point when she was much younger, she tried to imagine herself as the heroine of the stories she read and would use that as a reason to press forward, to fulfill that "age old prophecy" that the sleepy little girl could be something great and have everything she wanted, that she could be the Chosen One with a close circle of friends and a happy ending. Though as time went on at a certain point she stopped and began using stories as a form of escape from reality, and eventually she would begin to take the morals of those and use them in a practical way. The dreams would die and from them would rise a more realistic vision of the world with plans and goals to achieve in the world, to obtain her real happy ending. Fairy tales didn't exist, after all, but there was something she could learn from them to achieve what she wanted on this earth. Though... it was nice to see someone else who could dream like she once did.

Susan began to work on Gabriel's hair now that she had a basic framework of his face and shoulders, she planned on adding detail in layers rather than to finish certain parts first.
"Yes, I remember," she spoke wistfully, "Santiago's Personal Legend and his journey of finding his great treasure at the base of the pyramids. I believe that does parallel with our personal journeys and the meaning of life so to speak, that is finding our place in the world. Though most of us aren't aware as Santiago was, I suppose we could call the search for the start of the journey to be a part of the journey. However, it can be said that even without a map to guide us we are all still on a quest. It could be said that faith plays a large part in how we all grow, making choices we have faith in, believing that a certain path is the right one to take..."

Susan didn't really have a point but enjoyed discussing the specifics all the same. She would grow quiet again for his commentary yet he would speak more of his own experiences and past. To be perfectly honest she found it quite impressive that he had sought to and successfully opened his own bookstore and became a publisher of sorts in his personal journey to forge his own story. He was so accomplished and well-read... she almost became giddy until Gabriel's tone shifted. O-or perhaps it was always like that and she had focused on what she had wanted to hear instead. Her expression became shrouded in concern and she remained silent for some time. Her situation mirrored his own in certain ways, although they did not share the same experiences. Susan had never lost anything of the sort, had no set backs, yet she had built a successful life for herself and at the end of it all was... nothing. She could look back to her younger days and find... nothing to reminisce on, nothing eventful, but it all lead up to now. Her career, accolades, accomplishments... and none of it meant anything. Susan had no one to share it with, she never contributed anything of meaning but to herself and in the end it was nothing but a lusterless trophy, locked away in a closet where no one could see it. It was why she had become a Cadet in the first place, she was not satisfied how much she had studied and struggled to improve her own life only to be disappointed on what she had achieved. She had wanted to contribute something meaningful, she strove to continue to better herself and do something worthwhile but in the end she worried if this too was going to earn her another trophy that would sit on a long forgotten shelf, an impressive line in an epitaph that no one would hear. Susan did not know how she felt, regret, guilt, shame, hopelessness, all she knew was it was a negative and ugly feeling... but there was a small clamor of... relief, perhaps. That she was not alone in this mindset, that someone else could understand and had walked in her shoes.

"Yes... oftentimes..." she answered quietly, turning back to her painting with a sad, vacant gaze and a knot growing in her chest. The businesswoman would paint in silence for another long while before speaking again. She wanted to say something supportive but... did not know what to say. It will be alright. Yes, but would it? Could she promise that? You've turned out fine. But did it matter from her perspective? What mattered is if he believed that. Susan chewed on her lip before deciding to relate in her own way.
".......Santiago... he experienced many setbacks on his journey. Many people told him that this was his journey and he himself believed it to be his destiny and so he continued. He was... robbed... but that did not stop him, and he became a crystal merchant to continue his journey and follow his dream. And he became a rich man. Now, at this point he had already gotten what he desired, he was rich, the same as what finding the treasure beneath the pyramids would give him... A practical man would have stopped chasing his dream and settled down yet Santiago pressed onward. He found more hardships but continued to grow and continued to find more and more worthwhile experiences, the attack on Al-Fayoum, Fatima, the thieves and his own enlightement. And at the end of his journey Santiago finds that he could have found his treasure if he had never left home at all, but... he would not have found himself, nor his friends, his lover... He would not be the man he became..."

Susan shifted uncomfortably. Though she wasn't quite being tender it was still... different to express herself in this way. She was slightly embarrassed for certain.
"I-I suppose what I am trying to say... is that... U-ummm... the journey is equally as important as the result and may not be as it seems," she basically gasped, "....ah....a-and your journey is only over if you choose for it to b-be so, Gabriel..." The small woman buried her face into her painting with her face beginning to glow pink. She never was very astute at these sorts of things, though she did  appreciate being able to attempt to relate in allegory it was still made her feel far outside of her element.

"It always made me wonder about the chosen path, so to speak. Is the path that we choose to take the right path because we chose it? Or is there sometimes a path that's chosen for us that we seemed forced or even compelled to walk? The thing about certain pieces of literature that I always seem to come across, they bring about more questions than the answers you expect them to supply. However, there is one thing I do agree with what you said, it's only over unless you want it to be. The Journey that is...."

Resting his finger on his chin as he looked over to Susan, Gabe would flash her an alluring smile.

"This kind of reminds me of a song that I wish I sang for you. A pop artist sang it maybe a few months back, but I think you would enjoy the sentiment. I'll have it in my back pocket for next time. "

As he gave her a bit of a playful tease, Gabe would reach over for his cup of wine and take a sip of it

"The drawing of you is going quite nicely, I'm a little more closer to the finish line than i thought. "

He still took his time, Gabe took pride in his work.

"Here is an interesting question, what is your favorite animal?"

Pink in the face but rather satisfied than embarrassed, Susan was joyous to find that her allegory had connected with him and lifted him out of his mood and it showed with a soft smirk on her largely absent expression. She began to feel confident that she was getting the hang of things, so to speak, even if her ability to relate to others was sorely in need of practice improvement was occurring.
"Oh it is literature's job to supply us with more questions," the businesswoman would bring her counterpoint happily, "It brings us questions we may have never known to ask and it is our responsibility to seek the answers ourselves. From this we answer questions about ourselves, which forms our judgement and emboldens our strength of character. Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers. But first they have to understand that their neighbour is, in the end, just like them, with the same problems, the same questions." Susan would take to quoting Paulo Coelho herself, becoming much unlike her usually reserved self and practically giddy at the discussion as she allowed herself to nerd out even further.

"I am unsure if destiny is decided or not, I would like to believe in fate although it may only be an illusion we allow ourselves to believe. We attribute events to things we already know, we search to find meaning in these and we may find it even if it never existed at all, creating our own meaning. Deciding our own destiny, so to speak. Oh! This does remind me of LaPlace's Daemon that I mentioned the other night, the theory that everything in the known universe is quantifiable and acting on all the other factors. The rotation of the earth and the microgravity on the farthest reaches of the universe affecting on it, the behavior of every electron and every molecule in accordance with each other, if all this information could be known and solved for faster than time which is theoretically possible it would be possible to divine the past or predict the future! Though, this also introduces Chaos Theory and if this is an algorithm that can be consistently solved. Hmmmhmmm, I just find it funny that even the scientific process is unsure if there is such thing as destiny." She spoke animatedly, enrapturing herself in the broader ideas of the nature of everything and getting just a little carried away. Susan failed to notice how she swirled her paintbrush into her wine to clean it instead of her water cup. She peered back at Gabriel around her easel with a returned smile and a rare, engaged intensity to her expression.


It was a very enjoyable and uplifting song by Journey, she found herself thinking of it as he spoke. As she touched her own brush to the canvas a red stain would appear as opposed to the pale eggshell she had wanted to use and when her lips touched her own glass she would discover why. Susan's eyes widened and she spat her wine back into her cup, huffing and pouring the remainder of her drink into the tulips of the garden by her side. She nervously reached for the bottle to pour herself a new glass.
"M-mine may be a bit..." she grimaced in attempt to smile. Susan took a step backward, arms folded with wine in hand as she nursed it with a furrowed brow. She could fix this as long as she was creative, she didn't thinks he could paint over it. Her intense focus almost caused her to miss Gabriel's next question.
"............hmm? ...O-oh, u-umm... I don't believe I've ever really thought about it, not recently. I am a cat person and I take care of one though I wouldn't say cats are my favorite though I do love my Bengal. .......I would... saaaaay......... the rabbit. Rabbits are calm and... soft and very gentle. And incredibly adorable, it's as if they were made to be held and loved, hmmmhmmm~!" Susan would again take a moment or two to focus on her own problem with her ruined painting, hovering her brush over the canvas yet not touching it as she wracked her brain for solutions.
"....what is your favorite, Gabriel? Do you have any pets of your own?"