A Break From Everything (Susan & Gabriel)

Despite her insistence of being more forward, as she had warned Gabriel before Susan did not contact him later that day. Nor did she the day afterward. However this had nothing to do with her need for isolation or suddenly becoming very busy as she was want to do. Well... slightly the latter fact. Susan was incredibly occupied having the worst day of her life thus far.

The businesswoman arrived at the Lucky Clover in the afternoon, still in her suit from work. She'd managed to slip away from her job for an hour for lunch and wanted to spend that on something she had promised she would do: devot more quality time with Gabriel. His reaction after she had basically ignored him for a week reminded her how rude she could be perceived to be and sought to fix that, however she did not seem completely as herself the few days before. Her suit jacket remained unbuttoned as she had nearly another inch altogether to disrupt her tailoring: the bulletproof vest worn under her shirt. It was discreet enough to be worn in public and she made an effort to don it when going to a public place lest she be attacked. Her shoes were similarly her pink running sneakers, giving her a certain informal look. She had already been targeted once, anything could happen and she would not be caught off guard. Responding to an emergency situation trumped formalities and she had a better excuse than anyone else. Though what made her look most informal were the wounds she bore.

Susan still had a minor gash on her right temple with a smal stick-bandage covering it, poking out from underneath her hair. Her collar remained open to display the bruising on her neck as well, what she had learned online and experienced first-hand was that keeping her collar buttoned would aggravate it but not much else could be done about this. Her wrists held this same bruising but weren't nearly as visible with her long sleeves. The businesswoman walked with purpose within the casino, her blood pumping slightly faster and her eyes scanning the room. Crowds were... never really a place of comfort for her, even more so after her incidents. She did not appreciate the clamor of public places before however it was not until recently that she felt afraid of them. Susan carried with her a sense of unease but also an insulated lunch box and a thermos as she hesitantly made her way across the admittedly less-than-busy floor. Casinos weren't exactly known for their popularity during the daylight hours, after all.

Spotting someone at least vaguely familiar (and well dressed, which was a sure sign that they worked there) the businesswoman would approach them.
"E-Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mr. Gabriel Gatsby. Is he available by chance?"

The waiter would look at Susan with an alarmed look, the distress on her face somewhat seemed as if she had a complaint about the establishment or anything of the sort. But looking at her face for a few more seconds allowed the woman to place two and two together. It was actually the female waitress that was present when she was talking to Gabriel.

"Oh, it's you again. Miss Groves right? If you are looking for Mr. Gatsby, he should be in the office over there. "Pointing to the upper levels of the Lucky Clover casino, Susan would notice a side of the area that seemed to have monochromatic like shine to the outer section, quite possibly used to stop people from seeing inside. "It's usually where meetings are done with shareholders, but none are scheduled today. "

After giving her directions to get there, the waitress would return to her duties.

---

If Susan was to go straight there. she would notice that the door was a crack open and realize that Gabe had a few files on the table.

"Yes, I am she," the skittish woman clarified. She did not expect to be remembered but the Lucky Clover did indeed have attentive staff.
"Oh, yes, I see. Th-thank you." Susan gave a respectful nod and hurried on her own way to the office as she came face to face with one of her hated foes: stairs. The steps were always so much larger when you were short and her body ached from the few nights before and earlier in the morning. But she grit her teeth and scaled them, feeling the aching throb racing through her calves. Susan made a point to keep attending Maria's training sessions even if she did not enjoy them, she desperately needed conditioning.

The businesswoman approached the door and stopped when she found it slightly ajar. She had heard otherwise and assumed otherwise but it would make her feel rather guilty if she interrupted his work. Susan herself would not wish to be interrupted, kind sentiment or no, she should have called ahead instead of attempting to surprise him. But it was too late now, she wasn't going to come all this way to leave nor was she about to stand awkardly by the door until he noticed her. A-at least not all afternoon, the businesswoman fidgetted and clutched her hands together for a few moments before deciding to rap lightly on the glass.

knock knock

"Huh?"

Looking up, Gabe noticed a sight that he wasn't expecting for a while, or even at this point in time. "Susan? Is that you? To be completely honest, I wasn't expecting you to come here or to hear from you for a while. Not to say it's not pleasant, but unexpected. "

Checking his phone, Gabe wondered if he missed a call or text message from the woman. When he found out that neither happened, he had a small look of confusion on his face.  Was there something that he forgot to do today? Did they have an agenda that Gabe promised to take off work for or even leave early?

"Come in.."

Gabe got up and Greeted Susan at the door, closing it and bringing over to the elongated couch on the sides.

"Should I send for a drink of some sort? It's not every day where I get pleasant visits like this, but you don't seem too "there", if i may say. Is something wrong?"

The businesswoman let out a held breath. He did know her all too well and this was very out of character, to not call or give notice before appearing as she did. And yet a relationship was a series of compromises, despite her insistence to have her alone time she knew that Gabriel craved spontaneity and togetherness. It was her decision to surprise him, she would have preferred to do so the day before when it would have been more meaningful if he was feeling under the weather but life did not pan out that way. But this was something she had wanted to and said she would do, she would invest more time into this relationship and that meant foregoing the comforts of solitude at times.
"Yes I... I-I wanted to surprise you," she spoke unconfidently. Susan tried her best to look happy about it, honestly she did, but the best she could manage was to maintain her usual, unlit stare. A step up from her expression lately, it was better than appearing wary or on edge or morose as she had been the past few days.

The short woman replied with a small Thank you as Gabriel led her in, placing her lunchbox and thermos on the table before taking her seat on the couch for pleasantries. Immediately he had noticed she wasn't acting as herself and he should, this was a very odd visit and especially so for her. But it placed her in a Catch 22. Susan chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment, she would like nothing more than to be open and honest and have someone to vent to. She had been keeping this all to herself for the most part, which she was accustomed to, but could realize when she needed assistance in managing her emotional state.

...yet this was not the purpose of her visit. She needed to stop making things about her and her needs, this was not what compromise was about. Susan had come here to have lunch with Gabriel and spend time with him and that is what she was going to do.
"Th... N...no, I am just thinking about work is all," she lied poorly, tugging her sleeves farther down her arms to hide her wrists better. Though there was little she could do to hide her neck while he was looking at and speaking to her, but there were other ways around that. Susan did not sit on the couch for long with Gabriel, instead she rose to dig through her lunchbox as she spoke to him. It would help her change the subject as well.
"I know I should have called, that was careless of me, but I did want this to be a surprise. There is no need, thank you, I wanted to bring you lunch today and I have brought everything already," the businesswoman explained, focusing on neatly laying out tupperware containers and a few glasses. There was enough for the both of them and two of each item or enough for two courses.
"I know you were not feeling your best the last time we met, so I put this together focusing on wellness. I did not want to make the standard things you would typically find so... I decided to get creative. I've made a spinach stir fry with garlic, peppers, ginger and salmon for nutrients and to fight infection. I have carrots and blue cheese to satisfy the need for something crunchy while still being healthy and honey lemon green tea in case your throat is sore. Oh, and ice pops for the same reason, I made them from a blueberry smoothie." Susan's tone would uplift as she spoke more about the lunch she had taken time and careful thought into organizing even if her facial expression didn't change at all. "I've also packed acetaminophen for a fever and a multi-vitamin to promote recovery." The multi-vitamin in question was a small bottle of Pebblestones Gummis. While normally apt to choosing a more "adult" vitamin Susan had done her research and there happened to be functionally no difference between the gummy vitamin and something in a horse pill, but the gummy vitamin was more palatable and could melt in your mouth. It also happened to be cute, which influenced her decision slightly.

As the businesswoman dug through her lunchbox her brow would furrow. She would stick her nose inside and burrow deeper into it before turning it inside out with a look of disappointment.
"Haaaaaa... and no utensils...." Susan sighed and pushed her hair back, defeated. The bandage on her temple became clearly visible as she did so. The meek one shuffled over the couch again and gently set herself down.
"I-If you could please send for some forks I would very much appreciate it. I-I will remember next time." It all came to her now in a brief flash of hindsight. Susan did not want to keep her forks in the fridge and make them cold so she made a mental note to put them in later. Which never happened because she had slept through her alarm that morning and awakened 30 minutes later than she should have. It was a minor miracle she had remembered to bring the food to work with her, though she should thank proper planning and the sticky note she left for herself on her doorknob.

Slightly saddened at her inability to execute this perfectly and in the way she thought it would go, Susan would attempt to shake off her misgivings with conversation. She turned to Gabriel with her usual neutral, empty gaze as a thousand worries flew through the further reaches into her brain.
"So, how is your day? ...I am... not interrupting anything important, am I? Y-you appeared to be working."

"Suprise me? Well, if that was one of the main points of the visit, I must say that you have definitely succeeded in surprising me. "Gabe would say this as he sat right next to her, Giving Susan his full and undivided attention. There were some things that needed to be done, but they could wait. There would always be time to work, but he figured that there would be some kind of special occasion for the girl that he was dating at the time to visit him at his place in work.

Susan then revealed to Gabe that she had a full platter of recovery essentials in the form of food, drinks, treats, and even some multivitamin gummies. It wasn't too long ago since Gabe wasn't feeling well, and he thought that he would just have his body fight off the cold itself. But all of this would definitely help.

"You are right on that note..."

Getting up briefly and going over to the phone at the desk, Gbwe would make a quick call to the buffet area. "Send some utensils to my office when you get the chance. " After hanging up, Gabe would sit back down with Susan.

"Nothing important until now. I would consider that the time that I spend with you is important. But I wasn't working on much. I took a few days off to stay at home and even though my stepbrother was offering to help with the workload, I feel like I couldn't impose on him too much. "

With a knock on the door, Gabe got up and unlocked it, with a tray being sent to the room with a few small plates, forks and spoons. The two staff members of the casino would then bow and proceed to exit the room. "Well, the utensils are here. Let's eat...."

However, he felt that more should be discussed. " Are you sure you are alright? I think people seemed a bit stressed out when those terrorists made that broadcast. I'm not too sure if that affects you in any way, you have a kindred spirit and I fell like sources of stress may hit you harder than most. "

Gabriel was sweet and understanding as he had always been toward her. It did make her feel guilty that she couldn't present a happier countenance and at least look as overjoyed to see him as she was, though hers wasn't something of sunshine and gumdrops and more of comfort. Not that she could help it at all, the cracks could not be masked from her facade since the chain of incidents began their steady decline and it took large amounts of effort and willpower to maintain her neutral expression rather than appear miffed or terrified. In his presence she appeared to be sad as she relaxed her guard a little.
"Y-you are very flattering," the businesswoman stammered simply, more of her nerves than shyness. The timidness around him was beginning to dissipate with time.
"That is good, I am glad to hear you can rely on your stepbrother when you need him, though don't be so hasty to turn down offers of help. I am sure he is showing he cares." Much like she was now, she did not want Gabriel to strain himself if he were sick. Fortunately she did not appear the few days prior unannounced, she would have wasted her time.

When the utensils arrived Susan would stand silently and begin to vacantly set places as was the polite thing to do, though Gabriel was keen to speak during that time. It made her feel... guilty to a degree. She had been nothing but a wet blanket since they had met, dragging him down with his concerns and problems and insecurities. He could see anyone he wanted if he truly wished it, Susan wanted to be something that was valuable to him and not one of his unnecessary problems. But she would be honest, and to no one but him.
"I-I am........ n-no I am not..." she spoke in hushed tones, setting down the flatware for a moment. Her eyes cast themselves into the ground as she wrung out her hands. He would never be aware how true it was about the broadcast.
"Th-that is not it. I-I am having a rough time right now-w... I-I was... I-I a-am having a difficult time adjusting to work a-and I had a mish-hap..... *sniff*...I-I was assaulted at work a-and my personal computer was hacked in... i-into a-and I've had an awful few days..." As Susan spoke her voice would break and she would rub at her eye, sniffling.

It truly did appear that she had lost a fight though the truth was much more surreal. Susan could not tell him everything and she hated presenting him with all this to deal with but... he was one of the few people she could speak to about this. She would not show this weakness to other Cadets, she did not fit in, they would not understand. Gabriel had been wrong about her in his assumption, Susan was not very strongly affected by stress. Her problem was in letting it go. She kept everything in and bottled up so as not to appear deficient or show she was incapable and rarely ever did she vent. More often than not she reacted by adapting to the stress, which meant she would expect more of it and eventually it would pile on until it ground her down from the inside out. So she found herself shivering and sniveling before one of the few people she could present this weakness to.
"....Gabriel, may I have a hug please...?"

"What?!"

Gabe couldn't necessarily tone down the reaction, his girlfriend just told him that she was assaulted at work. What dis she even do again? It seemed that the company that Susan was involved with wouldn't have those kinds of dangers and problems, but Gabe was wrong. Was he supposed to notice sooner? Why didn't he notice anything about the troubles that was happening at work?

"Who is it? Who did this to you?! Did you back up the files?! What's going on?"

Gabe sounded even more alarmed and concerned as firmly placed his hands on his shoulders. "This isn't the image I had in mind we first spoke about your job, I thought these people at least had some class and decency. But to think that you were going through all of this and I..... was.....stupid....."

Gabe hugged Susan close, Giving her a kiss on the side of her forehead.

"I'm sorry Susan....I wasn't paying attention....We haven't got that far and I already failed....."

She flinched at the exclamation, bowing her head like a beaten dog.
"I-I did not-... Th-this i-is not wh-what I-... I-I did n-not mean f-for..." Susan stammered as she attempted to deal with the rapid-fire questioning but the words would not come. The timid woman could not look Gabriel in the eyes as he took her by the shoulders. It was shameful. Not what had happened, that was a series of unfortunate events, but it was shameful that she had arrived to spend time with him and decided to give him this worry instead of what she had come here to do. Susan did not know what she expected to happen when she had told him, it was not her intention to do so. But he had asked so she had spoken up and then she could not prevent her troubles from spilling from her lips.

As Gabriel embraced Susan he gave her a kiss on the forehead as he held her, like a parent would a child. She could not remember the last time she had been held like this, let alone held in any comforting way. The small woman took sharp breaths as she leaned her head into his chest and wept. It was the first time she had cried since the incidents had started and the dam of her own personal pain broke as she sobbed in his arms. Susan did not cry because she was sad, or miserable or depressed or for any other personal reason that involved self-values. Susan cried for very basic and raw reasons. She was afraid and presented with trauma, in physical and emotional pain. Susan cried because she was in distress and did not know how else to deal with that.

As she wrapped hesitant arms around him and her sobs began to quell and become under control she would mutter It's not your fault, it's not your fault through sniffles and hiccups. In time her sobs would become more infrequent, dying off to the odd sharp inhale and sniffle. But she would not remain in his embrace. Susan would tug at Gabriel's arms to free her so she could separate from him and take a seat on the couch. It was not about comfort nor closeness. She had to stand on her own two feet. Susan clasped her shaking hands together, staring into her lap as her chest continued to rise and fall erratically with phantom sobs.
"Nuh-none of this is yuh... y-your fault..." she explained, taking a quivering breath to center herself.
"Th-this was- *sniff* ...i-it was everything at wuh-once, i-in one day. *h-hiiiii!*......I-I am sorry, I usually do not get thi... th-this emotional."

The meek one wiped at her eyes as she struggled to contain herself and keep her detached facade up. It was especially difficult considering her red, wet eyes and pitiful expression. Susan shook her head.
"N-no one could ha... h-have seen this coming. *sniff* ...n-no one could h-have done anythi-thing about this. I-I... *hi-hiiiii* I-I h-have just had a rotten few d-days." There was guilt in adding to his problems, this was not about her or why she arrived today. She would admit that, having said it aloud, this was a much more grave circumstance she found herself in than she realized... and perhaps she did need help. But she would receive help on her own volition, not waste Gabriel's time by adding to his problems.

Susan stood shakily and returned to the table so that she could finish spooning stir fry onto plates. A menial task would serve to distract her and help her remain disciplined.
"...I-I appologize Gabriel, I-I did not wish to bring this- *hmm-mrm* I-I did not mean to b-bring this up at work, I-I came to see you well, not to give you any d-distractions." She would speak no more, setting herself to her simple purpose and occasionally wiping at her face. If she were asked she would speak more about her experience but was not inclined to. It had happened already, it was over, and she should take that life lesson and move on instead of letting it impact her. But it did not dispel any of the guilt for making this Gabriel's problem.

"I have to be honest with you Susan, as a casino owner, I never knew that the goddess of luck could react in such an opposite way for all of this to happen in one day.  The odds of it all almost looks like you were targeted, which makes me wonder if you had something on the computer that a rival company wanted. Was that the case? Either way, it's still unacceptable that some like that could happen to you. "

Letting her go and giving her some space, Gabe felt like there was more to this story than she was letting on.

"Let's start from the beginning, what exactly happened? Is there anything I can do to help?"

The businesswoman remained at least a little demure. It was frankly embarrassing to act the way she had. She was a big girl, not some sobbing child, and Gabriel was not her personal therapist but it was already well established that she was destined to put her foot in her mouth whenever he was present. But rationalizing everything calmed her down a bit, as well as the prospect of talking it through to understand it. Susan had never gotten the chance to take everything in and it was something that kept her in a state of malaise, being assaulted by one thing after another with no rest and no time to deal with the previous problem. It was the best approach, to sit down with someone else and simply... get her thoughts together.
"Yes... yes, w-we should start from the beginning..."

Susan slid Gabriel's plate aside as if to signal she had set it, but did not feel like touching hers yet. She unwrapped her ice pop instead. It would be nice to have something else to focus on and she didn't want it to melt. The timid woman sat in silence for a little while as she contemplated everything, lethargically licking her popsicle for little other reason than something to occupy herself with. She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again, thinking for another moment before answering.
"I must..... I must preface this by saying that... I am a Cadet. I-I'm aware that that would have been an important thing to tell you a-and I did not mean to deceive. I... I-I did not want your opinion of me to be colored by it." Susan cloistered up on the couch, fidgeting uncomfortably.
"I understand that... there are certain views about the Cadets that people tend to hold. They are respected for their heroism or... or feared for the power they wield, how strange and foreign it is... I-I did not want you to think of me any different for it."

The businesswoman shifted as she thought about what she could say and how. Most of the information pertaining to what she did was classified, no matter who he was there were certain things she could never talk about with civilians. So as truthful as she was being so far, Susan decided she would need to lie.
"There was... an attack... a few nights ago. D-demons, w-we had found a nest of them on patrol. I was... I-I was injured in the fighting and my life was put in danger several times..." Susan closed her eyes as she spoke and her breath started to quicken. She could see it all again. The burning children and the man who was laughing, she saw her team go down more than once. She shuddered when she heard the gunshot clear in her mind.
"I-I... I-I was scared I would die and-... *sniff*... You can do this, Susan, get ahold of yourself... ...th-the mission was successful and the area was cleared, b-but I keep remembering it a-and I have not been sleeping a-and I find myself startled a-a-and... I am afraid of public places."

Susan placed a hand to her chest to still her heartbeat. She was safe here, this was not a place she would be attacked in. She had to convince herself of that. The short woman would turn to look Gabriel in the eyes with concern.
"I am sorry, I-I did not mean to bring this on you..."

Gabe listened intently and quietly, letting Susan spill the beans. However, his facial expression changed quite a bit when she revealed that she was apart of the government. But it wasn't just that, Susan was a cadet. She was the very same bearer of the power that was in line with the likes of the district leaders and maybe take orders from them. If not, she saw them as equals, but who would want to see such a human being that misuses their abilities in such a light as one of the same. If that was the case, was she also the same?

"......"

Maybe that wasn't fair, Gabe dated Athena for a while and she told him first hand about the job she had. The only difference was the fact that she didn't tell him any details about what occurred. During that relationship, Gabe didn't know if he truly had feelings for her, or if he bore the desire to spy on the government? It was always the former before he knew, and he was afraid of changing because of it.  Does this warrant such a change from him?

"........"

As she spoke, Gabe gently held her hand as he nodded, taking in all of the information. He wasn't sure who she fought, It seemed like she had a rough time with a demonic nest of some kind. If such a thing was trouble for people who did have the power to fight back or protect themselves, letting skelker win was the same as ending life as they knew it for the second time. People may want to take their chances outside the walls of Endymion, there would be no safe space possibly.

---

*Inside Gabe's Head*

Spoiler:

---

Gabe was somewhat lost in thought, but he was still sympathetic to what occurred with Susan. It almost tipped into contempt after thinking about what happened to Selenus, but hearing that Susan almost died stirred his heart into anger towards those who harmed her in the first place. This wasn't Gabe, this wasn't what he was about.

"It's fine Susan, and maybe it's time that I tell you something as well. Not to make it about myself, but it's important that you hear this, because it definitely concerns us."

Taking a deep breath, Gabe started to let Susan know about the last relationship that he had.



"Susan, I've dated a Cadet before. Athena Griva, it was the person I was courting before I even met you. The reason why this matters is that she told me that she was in class 0 right off the bat, the only thing is that I didn't know exactly what occurs during those times.  She left, never spoke to her again, saw her again, I've been completely crossed out of her life as if I didn't exist. Now that you told me what you experienced as a cadet, the things that you had to go through. The troubles, the extent that one's mind can be put through to go through such things in order to protect the lives of others, I almost want tom to ask why in spite of knowing the reason. After college and working, having a secure job, why do this then? What could have been missing for your life to choose the path of being a Cadet? The queen is basically the government here,  acknowledging that should be enough, but you went above and beyond in order to put your life on the line. Why do this when you know I'll mourn for you if something were to happen? The feelings of your family, friends. If this is an average night for you, then everything is not as it seems."

Letting go of her hand, Gabe rubbed his temples.

"Maybe this is why she cast me aside, who knows? Maybe you'll come to do the same, knowing that I can't do anything for you when you are out there. If knowing that there is something to come back to, to survive at all costs to return to is all that you need, the support and to lend an ear, the comfort.......then I'll give all of what I am to do so. But if you feel resentment because I can't do the things that you can do....."

For that last part, Gabe felt a tear fall from his eye.

"Then....it's ok...if after hearing all of this, you would want to end things with me before it goes further."

He remained silent as she spoke, yet shocked. Susan did not mean for any of this to occur, she could not help it. This was something that weighed heavily on her as some things did yet she never spoke a word. She did not believe it relevant, she did not wish to appear as if she needed special attention... but when the walls came down and someone who would not judge was able to listen she had found herself sobbing. It surprised even herself. She could not be capable of this, she could not flit from her stoic and neutral demeanor to weeping at the drop of a hat. If anything she frightened herself of her shaky grasp over her own temperament. When he grasped her hand he would find it cold and clammy, trembling at his touch. Her wrist remained limp as he held her hand, focusing on explaining her troubles over existing in the real world.

She was worried she was laying too much on his shoulders, and when he finally spoke after this long time she was hesitant. It was supposed to always be about him, that was her purpose for meeting him today. But she did not know what he would say and it concerned her in relation to the own revelation she brought to light.
"Y-yes...? What is it...?"

Everything he had said was a bitter pill to swallow, one that stuck in her throat and left a pit in her stomach. Susan absentmindedly nibbled at her popsicle with her teeth seeking something to grind. Athena Griva... Someone from Class Zero, but someone she had never encountered nor heard of. The logical and morose played in her mind, one just couldn't disappear from Class Zero without a trace. The most logical conclusion was... death. She could think of no other reason. He feared it was his fault for existing in this capacity, that someone would cast him aside. A very noble if naive take on things, that someone would leave to protect him. That was what she enjoyed about Gabriel. He always tended to see the best in people.

Susan would not voice her assumption. That was not a conversation she wished to have. Nor would she engage on why she joined the Cadets. It was not the first time someone had asked, it would not be the last. But he knew her all too well.
"What could have been missing for your life to choose the path of being a Cadet?"
He knew she did not do it for pride or patriotism, nor something to prove. He knew something was missing. Susan had joined to fill the empty void in her life, that perhaps she could start over after having wasted her life reaching a conclusion she was not happy with. Success, wealth, prestige... and nothing to show for that. A lifetime of awards and degrees to put in places where cherished memories would be. She would not speak of this reason, it was not one to be visited now.

Susan tensed and took a shaky breath. Her posture became straighter as she took on a more confident tone.
"Gabriel... I-I can do this," she shuddered, "I know you mean well, b-but I do not need a protector. I-I am a big girl, I have gotten this far all on my own and... a-and this my own decision, I will endure it as such. I will survive, as I've survived wh-when-" ...survived when she was attacked at college. Survived the assault on the television studio. Survived T's barrage that eliminated her team quite nearly. Susan shook her head. It had never crossed her mind that she would be worried over, it did not register. She had no friends, none that would care for such matters and her family did not know for the same reasons Gabriel was speaking of. They would not approve of her endangering herself.

"I... I have already made my decision, if I were to abandon you I would not be here. Th-this wa-was..." Susan could feel pit grow in her stomach, her forehead start to hurt, her eyes become wet yet again. She sought out his hand to squeeze it.
"*sniff* I-I did not come here for this, I-I'm sorry. I came to bring you lunch a-and help you with your cold. I-I... I-I'm sorry, I never meant to tr-trouble you like this. *sniff* I-I am not your problem. I am not your responsibility, I-I *sniff*...it is not your job to take care of me, I did not mean to trap you in this. I-It is not fair to you, I have not been fair, I-I'm sorry." She regretted telling him. Susan regretted causing him pain, for accepting her problems as his own. What was worse was... that was exactly what she wanted, deep down. Someone to come home to, someone to understand and listen... he knew what she wanted better than she knew herself. And to her credit, despite her contradicting speech she would not leave. Her hand shook holding his as her shoulders slouched.

"I-I do not need a protector. I do not need a guardian or... o-or a confidant or a therapist o-or someone to defend. I will- *sniff I-I will not ask you to be anyone for me, i-it is not fair. I-I... I do not want anything else but a partner, someone to share with a-and... I-I am sorry, I-I did not mean to bring this on you a-and it was selfish of me, I-I should have never said anything at all, you are at work a-and I understand i-it can be inconvenient a-and..." Susan had to flat her hand over her chest to quiet herself down from her rambling. She felt as if she were going to cry again. The timid woman stayed silent as she tried to swallow her emotions, to drown them and bury them and encase them in concrete so they could no longer run amok. Swallowing down her budding tears she would speak again after a time.
"...th-this is your decision, Gabriel. I have already made mine, if I felt that way I-I never would have spoken to you again after the first time......... I-It is only fair that... you have a choice in this matter. A-After I had been dishonest. I will... I-I will not impress anything upon you."

Independence was definitely a thing that people held dear, Gabe was hoping that he wasn't imposing on Susan's right to make these decisions on her own and he wanted to ensure to her that he only said those things because he was worried about her. But what Gabe did in this situation a lot more than simply speaking and whatnot was listen. He listened to her, he listened to what she had to say. How was she to convince him? Was he being hypocritical due to his own actions at night that may have contributed to what Susan does all the time?

"No, what I'm doing is different..."

Or that's what Gabe wanted to believe at least

"Survived when....... "

She didn't finish, and that was ok. There were still things that they were starting to know about each other and Gabe didn't want to push too hard. When it was all said and done, Gabe held her hand firm and smiled at her

"I'm glad you spoke to me Susan. I'm glad that you told me what was on your mind. I'm glad that you would have even told me what was going on in the first place, it was also your choice to keep things as they were without me knowing nothing at all. But you didn't do that, and you didn't ruin my day or anything by telling me this and not worrying about my health. I think I'm quite strong. "

Gabe would then playfully Flex for Susan in order to make her laugh.

"See, even the presence of all that you brought for me is speeding up my recovery."

After dropping the pose, Gabe Looked into Susan's eyes.

"All i have is appreciation and admiration for a very beautiful woman that I was privileged to meet. I was worried at first, only because of what more you could have sought in your life that I may have not been able to fulfill. You didn't speak on it, but that's a conversation for another day. I do believe in your strength Susan, I'm sorry if it looks like I doubted you."

The timid woman sat shivering as Gabriel squeezed her hand. Her eyes were closed as she listened. Processed. She wished she could be more forthcoming with him, she did not in fact tell him everything. She couldn't. No one could know about the events shortly after the Divide, no one could be privy to the attack on the television studio the past few nights. The religious extremists that threatened Endymion with Armageddon would need to remain tightly under wraps lest it unravel everything they strove for. To reveal that would incite a panic, playing right into their hands. And she could not speak to her fellow Cadets about her troubles, for they would take pity. The must not know how exactly how difficult it was for her. They could not ever find out how close to the end of her rope she really was, and that the mere mention of these circumstances transformed their stoic tactical specialist into a sobbing mess of a woman.

...but Gabriel did his best to lighten what burden he could. As was his nature. He was such a kind and compassionate man she did not believe she deserved all to herself. Gabriel put his heart into everything he believed in, in upholding the golden ideal of what it means to be a true human being. A man of passion and culture, one willing to fight for his ideals and come swiftly to the aid of others at the faintest sign of trouble. It weighed on her that she could not offer him more than Pandora's Box but... something about him could pierce through her strong facade every single time and dismantle the walls she built around her bleeding heart to offer a bandage. It was... conflicting, to sum it up succinctly.

His carefree gag had worked and disarmed her of her dark premonitions, allowing her to reset and take control of herself again. She laughed. Weakly, but she laughed.
"Ahehmmhmm... oooooooh... yes, I see that you are after all," she perked up, taking a deep and quavering breath as she breathed out the last of her emotional outburst.
"I am... also glad you would be honest with me. A-about your past relationship. I do not think it is a big deal, you are your own man and have a history all to yourself but... I appreciate that you would be concerned... and that you would tell me about your own worries." Susan held her other hand over his. "I understand what you mean Gabriel, you are not the only one with your own worries. I did not believe you ever doubted me at all, but... I know you want to help everyone, all at once. You already carry the weight of the world with you, I want to be compassionate by not giving you mine if that makes sense. I will carry on, for better or worse, that you've offered to help is enough."

For once since the incident Susan felt... calm. Carefree, as if someone had taken away the sword hanging over her head. She smiled lightly.
"I would not abandon you like that, if anything I'm direct. I would likely write you a formal email beforehand, hmmhmm!" she laughed again. The humor was a little dark, moreso to her than to him from what she presumed, but it poked fun. Susan collected herself and began to look a little worried, but at least the mundane sort of worried as  she fanned her face with both hands.
"I have... haaaaaa, m-my makeup has run all over the place, I will need to reapply it. O-oh, ummm, our lunch will get cold, we should likely attend to that. This is my lunch hour too." Susan began to dig into her purse for her mirror and some moist towelettes, busying herself in her vaguely distracted manner as was her default mode of operation.