Musings and Messages [Cecil/Tomomi]

Tick. Tick. Tick.
There wasn't a clock to be seen that could have ever made the sound, but in his head, he still heard the sound.
The passing seconds, ticking by, reminding him of every little instant he spent alone and inactive within the confines of his home.
Cecil was seriously starting to wish for the nagging back. This was far more insidious.

Tick. Tick. Tick.
He couldn't study right now. It didn't matter if the information came as a string or a brick - he'd done more than he could withstand for now as it was, and trying to do it any more was only going to tire him out even worse than he'd already managed to do - and that was if the throbbing in his head didn't worsen either. It felt as if his head had been overfilled, forcing out everything that had been stuffed in there.

Tick. Tick. Tick.
Basically anything else he could do right now still failed to get rid of that incessant ticking. Nothing muted it, nothing slowed it, nothing made it stutter or stop. If only anyone was in to talk to, maybe he might get a...
Wait a minute.

Tick...tick...tick...

Maybe there was someone he could talk to.

Tick....

He fishes out his phone.

Tick...

Cecil: Tomomi? You there?

...

Nothing.
Thank god.

A lay in! A day off! With a sigh of relief, Tomomi stretched himself out, yawning, before allowing himself to fall with a little thud onto his sofa – the one that doubled as a bed for him in his small apartment in Little Tokyo. Letting out a light exhale, he began to close his eyes and nap…

Bzzt bzzt

As if to remind him that napping was totally out of his reach, the sound of buzzing brought his attention to the phone he’d set on the table. Sitting up with a slight groan, the boy reached over to grab his phone, looking at his display. Oh! Cecil.

Unlocking his phone, the boy began to text out his reply.

Tap tap tap…

Tomomi: i am now
Tomomi: what is up

A little smile came to Cecil's face as Tomomi replied.
And then he realised he hadn't actually thought about what to say when or if he got this far.
...crap.

CECIL: Just wanted to talk.
CECIL: Haven't managed to catch you again.

Right...that was a start...

CECIL: How are you doing, by the way?
CECIL: Everything alright?

As the next messages came in, Tomomi kept his phone on, deciding that this was something that was worth keeping awake for. So, laying in a more comfortable position after some adjustment, he continued his own reply, deciding that, while he could get up and get some water, such a task would require effort he wasn’t in the mood for exerting. So, instead, he tapped away his own response.

Tomomi: i am ok
Tomomi: got day off so am resting
Tomomi: the weather is really not helping any fatigue I think

After a brief pause, Tomomi continued on.

Tomomi: so what about you
Tomomi: how are things going on your end

...goddamn, his head was pounding. Maybe he could actually get something for it now that he wasn't plagued by the incessant ticking.
As he got up, he noticed his phone buzzing again, messages rolling in.

CECIL: Been studying mostly.
CECIL: Too much, if the state of my head is anything to go by.

No way he was mentioning the being that kicked it all off. Telling someone he was technically a Psyche Terrorist was all kinds of stupid, let alone in a text that could be showed off to whoever if they didn't catch it outright.

CECIL: I'll be fine, anyway.

Looking through, Cecil got some water before downing some painkillers, hoping badly that they'd actually be effective.

CECIL: Say, Tomomi? What do you usually do with your time?

Reading the message, Tomomi felt slightly guilty about making Cecil help him out with studying. Oh well. As he posed the next question though, Tomomi thought through what it meant. Hobbies? He probably meant hobbies.

Tomomi: well i do mixed martial arts focusing mostly on strikes and counters
Tomomi: outside of that i like going for walks and looking for animals
Tomomi: birds are especially cute

After pausing, and smiling while thinking about a little robin he saw the other day, he typed further

Tomomi: what about you

Cecil started walking again, and...god, he could not be bothered to head back up the stairs right now. Better to stay down in case he needed to grab something.
Walking into the living room and flopping onto the sofa, he checked back on his phone to see what sort of a reply he'd gotten.
Hmm.

CECIL: Well...got a certain interest in music, if having earphones or something all the time didn't give that idea.
CECIL: Play fighting games, wander about...
CECIL: Got a bunch of tabletop games I don't get to play as much as I like.

Problem with needing the people to play with, really.

CECIL: To tell the truth though, having a harder time enjoying most of it recently.

...why was he bothering Tomomi with this?
He didn't need to deal with it.

CECIL: ...not that that's any of your problem.

As Tomomi read the latter part of Cecil’s texts, he felt a frown arise. That… Wasn’t a good mindset for a friend to have, right? So, back to tapping away he went, letting out a yawn. He could really have used that nap, but, friendship is more important, at least to him.

Tomomi: nah were friends so your problems my problems, im pretty sure anyway
Tomomi: so long as you want to share anyways
Tomomi: so with that said do you want to talk about whats got you feeling so down or if theres anything i can do to help
Tomomi: of course if you dont wanna talk about it how about telling me what games you play if you want to let me know since im a bit curious

Aaaaaand send

...
Once more, Cecil found himself taken aback at a declaration of friendship. He always really hoped, but he still never expected to hear it.
He...still didn't like concerning other people with his problems, but really, this was the stuff he was supposed to share with a friend, wasn't it?
He may as well.

CECIL: Guess you're right, huh?
CECIL: Sorry, not used to this.

Felt silly to admit, but it wasn't worth hiding.
Ankou, however...how was he supposed to explain this?
You know, without being sent off to the brainwashing camp.

CECIL: ...not sure how to say this.
CECIL: Hit me a while ago that...I wasn't really doing enough, let's say.
CECIL: That I was just drifting through, I guess.
CECIL: More to it than that, but texting isn't exactly the best way to explain.

Probably would have been easier to talk games, but come to think, it was probably a good thing he was doing this now.
What would Hatsu think about this, he wondered?

CECIL: It was just a little voice in my head before, but it feels like it's taken on a life of its own now.
CECIL: And it just doesn't go away.

Reading through Cecil’s reply, thoughts went into Tomomi’s head. Still, this was his first friend in a long time. He couldn’t mess this up, no matter what. Thinking carefully, Tomomi slowly typed out his reply, a slight delay after Cecil had sent his initial messages.

Tomomi: im not sure I understand entirely what you mean but

Sighing, Tomomi followed it up with a question, hoping this wasn't stressing Cecil out. He was helping... Right?

Tomomi: does this voice hurt you or tell you to do bad things

It was a tense moment after Cecil sent his messages, waiting for Tomomi to reply. He wasn't sure what reply he was going to get, until...
He froze a moment.

CECIL: No
CECIL: Nonononono
CECIL: Nothing like that

...that was definitely an overreaction, but he had no intention of giving Tomomi the idea the rest of the school had gotten.

CECIL: It...just keeps telling me I'm wasting my time whenever I'm trying to relax.
CECIL: That I need to talk to people, study, do something productive
CECIL: That I've always been wasting my time.

He pauses, letting that sink in as he thinks about the whole thing himself. It wouldn't be so bad, but...

CECIL: I don't even think it's entirely wrong.
CECIL: That's the worst bit.

Telling him to be more proactive… That sounds like a fairly big thing. Was there anything Tomomi could do though? He wasn’t exactly a therapist or psychologist, and surely if he tried to help, things would just be worse…

Be there.

… Who was that? That voice sounded… Familiar… Was that…?

Tapping away once more, he decided to follow his… Creepy, omnipotent voice’s advice.

Tomomi: in that case maybe talk to this voice and try to find an even ground
Tomomi: i mean in my opinion the only wasted time is time that you see no purpose in
Tomomi: if you enjoy something then even if you feel unproductive it was not wasted
Tomomi: likewise if you save an entire location but dont feel your heart in it then it may have been a waste
Tomomi: i think

He couldn't help it. Cecil let out a long, dry laugh.
Oh, Tomomi had no idea, did he? Nobody who didn't know about his activities with the playhouse would have a clue just what he found so amusing about what he'd just been told. Hell - just the fact he literally could talk to that voice was funny enough, considering he probably didn't mean to have an actual conversation with it the way he could.
Still. He had a point. It was...worth a try, really.

The abyss had stared him down long enough. It was time to make it the one to look away on their little contests.
However long that took.

CECIL: You know, maybe I should.
CECIL: If it's going to keep going on at me, maybe I should start talking back.

He rang his hand through his hair, his head feeling a little less terrible than it had before. He wasn't sure whether that was more to do with the painkillers he'd just taken, or the conversation he was now having with Tomomi.
They were both doing something for him.

CECIL: What about you?
CECIL: Hardly fair to offload on you without giving you a chance to do the same.

When Cecil returned the question, Tomomi had to pause to think for a while. He couldn’t mention the ghost man that until now had just kind of been quiet, nor could he really talk about how uncomfortable the city could be. Racism wasn’t a very good conversation point either…

Well, as uncomfortable to speak about as it was, maybe he could mention his parents somewhat. It seemed like Cecil had spoken about something personal. Still, it wasn’t something he could just give full details on over text. So, he began typing out.

Tomomi: outside of doing the litter job is a drain on my energy
Tomomi: i guess i kind of just miss my parents
Tomomi: its not the kind of thing i can just say over text tho

As he sent that last message, the boy sighed, leaning his head back against the arm of his sofa/ bed.

...missed his parents...
Did...?

CECIL: ...I think I have an idea what you mean.
CECIL: I mean, it's not exactly the same

CECIL: Probably
CECIL: But it's something.

...
Cecil pushed it down.
Hard.

CECIL: I'm happy to talk about this stuff.
CECIL: If you're up to it, I mean.
CECIL: Maybe save this for another time, though.

A pause.

CECIL: You said you were curious about the games?
CECIL: Did you mean any particular one of those types orrr