Old Wounds [Grubby's Shop Restock Thread]

The craziest fuggen thing's been happenin', can't even fuggen believe it. I seen a whole lotta things in my life but this one here... this one takes the cake. I seen men turn to dust, seen men die with a word... I seen men rise from the graves as monsters'n seen'em rise as heroes. But this here's somethin' else.

My shop's actually sellin' merchandise. Holy fuggen bologna.

Can hardly believe anyone wants to buy my crap meself. S'quality stuff there, s'good as a poor ol' gob can make it an' it's useful crap too but bein' a rogue's a dyin' profession I tells ya. Ain't no one got respect fer the classics no more, s'all smash'n grab or sneak'n stab. Ain't a respectable burglar in the bunch anymore. Thinkin' I gotta find me a pupil one'a these days, learn'em the art'a bein' a real thief so's I can pass my skills down. Sure ain't by havin' any damn kids. You seen this face? I seen this face, lemme tell ya it haunts my damn dreams an' it's my own fuggen face. But that's somethin' Ol' Grubby ain't got on his plate yet, gotta finish the first heapin' helpin' a bullshit first.

So's what's this crusty ol' bastard up to today? Well I'm outta fuggen bandages so's I gotta make more. Figure I'll take a stop on by the guild fer a spell, they ain't seen me'n a while now. Got a whooooooole big sack over my shoulder there filled with old shirts'n sheets'n dresses'n all kinds'a cloth. So's I barge in there an' get goin' off to my corner fort with all my damn tools in it. Funny thing is ain't no one here 'cept fer El'Sino'or, sittin' at the bar 're what's left of it after Hilderbrandt fugged up his spell there. I look at her, she looks at me. We do this fer a while. Now we ain't see eye to eye her an' me, she ain't like how I do things. Thinks they ain't fair. Well life ain't fair there buttercup, ya do what ya can about it.
"Where's Hilderbrandt at?" I asks her.
"Out to market. He should not return for some time." She takes a drink of her wine there. Glass'a wine an' an apple. Fuggen elves, amirite? That ain't no breakfast fer people, fer fuggen Azmodeus even I ain't drink this early in the day. Lazy jagoff.
"An' where's-"
"Alabastor? With Hilderbrandt of course." S'posin' that's the smart thing there. Still ain't like getting' interrupted. Still don't like elves much either. I snort an' get on to my corner, I got work to do.

I lay out the scraps I got on the floor there, line'em up all loose like. I pull my knife out the sheathe an' start cuttin'em into long strips. It ain't hard but it's busy work, takes time to get enough an' the right size an' thickness. Ain't all this cloth useful fer it, just some a it. Now I ain't like El'Sino'or but I may as well talk to the prissy 'lil princess, ain't got a whole lot else to do with my time here.
"So what're ya doin' down here, elf?" I call across the broken ass guild hall, "Ain't ya should be out scoutin're makin' yerself useful for once?" She ain't answer me fer a good while, gotta be at least a minute there. But elves can fuggen talk when spoken to, how 'bout that shit?
"I'm resting for now. I've had an eventful evening."
"Well sure ya did," I says, "Gotta be real hard work I bet, that glass there looks real damn heavy."
"And what of you?" she snaps at me. Looks like elves talk faster when ya piss'em off. [color:ae4d=#??????]"We hardly glimpse you at all anymore. Hilderbrandt worries for certain... but he trusts you. Alabastor worries more. I merely hope you get what's coming to you but I tire of it, it's disappointing."

Now I'm a goblin. So's that means I got a special racial talent. S'called don't take no shit from elves.
"Hey El'Sino'or, yer a druid, how's about ya Wild Shape into less of a fuggen bitch fer me?" She ain't say nothin'. I ain't say nothin' fer a long time but I gotta get my ass 'cross the room. Gotta boil me some water to soak these bandages in, gotta make'em clean.
"Been busy. Got a shop to run," I says.
"Gold, of course. I understand."
"Gold I get keeps yer asses stocked up on healin' potions so quit'cher bitchin'. 'Sides, I got me some other things I'm doin'. Got zombies in the sewers I gotta get rid'a."
"And that's more important than getting us out of this place?"
"S'more important than sittin' on my ass drinkin' wine all mornin', in the name'a fuggen Pelor ya movin' yer mouth to practice there're what?" She shoots me a glare. I get done fillin' my bowl from the kettle an' put it over the fire.
"Didn't let me finish. Zombies is a creation of a warlock. So we got that goin' fer us."
"I fail to see-"
"Ya fail to shut yer damn mouth while I'm talkin' is what yer failin' to do, no button yer gatdamn lip an fuggen listen knife ears!" Getting' real sick'a her fuggen attitude, hot damn just let me cut my fuggen bandages in piece woman! I wait fer the boil, but I got a lotta waitin' an' a point to prove.

"He knew my name." Her fuggen eyes almost pop outta her skull.
"You've been giving out your name...!?"
"No, I ain't! He knows we got a wizard too. Must have a scry on us 'fore we set up the defenses. Bettin' he detected the magic an' tracked us down, magic ain't all too common here."
"Does Hiderbrandt know about this, goblin?"
"I ain't told'im a damn thing." She starts glarin' daggers at me. Can't fuggen blame'er. 'Ceptin' I can. Fuggen knife ears.
"You mean to tell me we have gone all this time with our lives in danger?"
"S'why I made the decision to move us, that's the danger there. Good news is he thinks we's fuggen useful so he ain't gonna do shit yet."
"Of all the irresponsible-"
"Ya wanna tell Hilderbrandt?! Huh!? Ya want him to get involved in this shit show an' get hisself killed!? S'at right!?" I raise my voice at her. It shuts'er up good.


I'm breathin' hard. El'Sino'or looks like she wants to fuggen hit me outta fear're anger're maybe both.
"....I'm fuggen workin' on it there. Got somethin' up my sleeve, gonna solve this problem 'fore it's a problem, don't you worry yer pretty 'lil head."
"........you best hope for our sake you succeed. My life isn't yours to gamble, slimeskin."
"Go fug'a damn tree, pixie."
I ain't feel like talkin' no more, don't know why I did'n the first place. Came here to do somethin' an' I'm gonna get back to doin' it. I take one'a the wooden spoons from the bar there'n sift the bandages outta the pot. They's boiled, they's clean, but I gotta soak'em in booze to kill sickness. Figure I'm gonna do that back at my damn shop, get some peace'n fuggen quiet.