A Need to Slumber? [Grubby NPC Topic]

So's I gots me a conundrum I do. Ain't nothin' can ever be easy, not fer Ol' Grubby. Take a shortcut through the fuggen planes to Crimson Keep, get yer ass stranded in the Plane'a Shadow. Try an' find somethin' to get yer ass off the Plane'a Shadow run into a skeleton-lovin' corpse-fondlin' sumbitch that's been lyin' in wait for ya. Even the mudane shit been gettin' at me. I got my damn nose all bandaged up when I fuggen broke it makin' money, shit's never been this hard before but I'll keep sluggin' at it. We need stuff to get goin' an' that means coin, I can't go 'round takin' shit from who knows fuggen where if I ain't got the ass to back up that boot I'm gonna get. I just didn't think I'd be eatin' dirt to make a damn day's pay. Face fuggen hurts, got me real good shiner, fuggen hurts to smoke too but here I is, walkin' up on the rooftops coughin' up bloody snot with my lips wrapped 'round one'a them stogies what with the chocolate taste. Can't fuggen taste it after sneakin' a big ol' kiss to the ground like I did but I like to imagine it tastes better'n whatever bullshit's leakin' outta my nose an' down my damn throat. You ever get yer nose broke? It hurts like hell the first time then it just gets fuggen annoyin' after a while like stubbin' yer pinkie toe on a chest.

But I gotta keep goin', world ain't gonna stop fer me so I ain't gonna stop fer it I tells ya. Just need to get me some information 'bout this necromancer, got several grievances with that zombie fugger that I wanna carve into his face there. Gonna have to figure out how he operates first, what he does, how he does the dumb bullshit he do. Cuz if I know that I know where he's gonna be, an' if I know where he's gonna be I can be waitin' there with a warm plate'a stabbin's an' a tall glass of foot up his ass. I cough a bit on the cigar I got as I'm walkin' round the rooftops, sure as shit I shouldn't be smokin' this while my face is rebuildin'. ...I know what yer sayin' an' fuck you I like the rooftops. Shit's safe up here, ain't no one to bother ya, an' ya get a hell of a view. Good fer doin' scoutin' work which I technically am 'sposed to be doin', this shit's just more important. Fuggen shit, musta gone down the wrong pipe, coughin' a bit fuggen more now.

"*UuuooHURGH! MmmmruoooHURGHURGH! ha-ACK! ...hooooooOOOOOOOOORK...!*" I lean over the side'a the buildin' there what to hack up all the gunk in my damn lungs when I gotta stop myself. Almost spit on a broad there, she's all lookin' up at me an' everythin'. Man I'd feel like an asshole if I spit on some broad much as I like to hock loogies off'a buildin's at the jagoffs in the street cuz they can't do nothin' but hop around an' shake their damn fists at me. You just don't do that to a lady. I bring my head over onto the top'a the roof an' spit it out over there, but I gotta do a double-take when I'm done noticin' what I see down there. She's got a fuggen hat. Ain't no fuggen regular hat. That broad's got a wizard hat. Think I remember somethin' 'bout some witch down in the Slums what wanders 'round an' takes people away an' whatnot, sounds like a witch to me. An' ain't no normal fuggen person wear that dumb-lookin' hat.

*pthoo* Oi!" I calls down to her from about three stories up, "You be that there alchemist what people been talkin' 'bout down here!?" 'Course I calls'er an alchemist, ya ain't call no lady a witch 'fore she says it herself first. Good way to get smacked 'cross the face even if yer right. Or turned into a fuggen toad but I ain't scared'a that. Skin's already green an' warty an' I'm uglier'n a box a shit, the fuggelse she gonna do to me? Make me jump better? Hopin' I'm right though, could give this job figurin' shit out to Hildebrandt but it'd just take his smarmy ass away from gettin' us a way back home. That an' I ain't want'im to know I'm after a necromancer what wants'im dead, that jagoff's gonna wanna go out an' learn'im a new spell. Hocus Pocus, I'm-a-Cadaver. But I ain't above turnin' to other wizards an' witches for doin' what's gotta get done.

She ain't say she wasn't, an' down here in the gutter that's as good as sayin' yes. Means I got my gal. 'Sides, if she ain't it she could point my busted nose in the right direction if'n she knows the spook tale. Personally I think it's a buncha horseshit. Fer one anyone who do shit that shady ain't wander 'round without drawin' up a crowd, considerin' they wander at all. Fer two all the spooky shit what goes on in the bad parts a town's mostly just people blowin' smoke, the scary shit's always normal. The normal shit's what's always scary. Legend 'bout a werewolf what stalks the town at night? Just some stray wolves wanderin' in to get a bite at the flock. Hear some weird gurglin' in the sewer there? Fuggen Illithid invasion. Shit's fuggen topsy-turvy, hand to Pelor. Even if she say she is who she is I ain't scared. I'm a goddamn adventurer, we ain't get kidnapped and ate by no witch. I take one last puff off my smoke 'fore I put it out on the roof there. Can't be smokin' while talkin' to no strange lady, that's just bad actin'. I let the smoke roll while puttin' up a finger to gimme a minute then I get to climbin' down. I get a couple foot drops here an' there but I get down smoother'n milk, only take me a couple seconds.
"Naw I ain't believe'em none," I says as I get my feet back on the stone, "Stories is just all they is an' a story turns into a tall tale real quick like. Yer a person here so I'm gonna treat ya like someone I ain't met yet, ya know like a friggen adult would." I go ahead an' pull my hood down so I ain't seem so scary, most people that ain't used to gobs'd be paintin' their shorts brown by now an' I ain't wanna scare'er none. Got my bald ass head gleamin' in the light'a the damn day, there's a reason I ain't like takin' my hood off understand? Looks like the bottom of a soldier's heel, all round an' smooth an' calloused'n shit.

But I'm gonna turn on what charm an' politeness I got, even fer this ol' salty bastard. I been around, I sweet talked a few broads in my day. Mostly by payin'em gold but I'm still fuggen countin' it. I might be dumb but I ain't fuggen stupid, ya gotta treat a lady with respect if ya wanna get anywhere. 'Cept gnomes but gnomes ain't people, they're fuggen nuisances walkin' around in bags a skin an' bones an' stupid fuggen hair.


Can't rightly ask Hilderbrandt fer this cuz'a reasons like him getting' his fat fuggen head involved in shit that might get'im killed, so's this here lady in the wizard hat's my next best bet if she be who I think she is. Even if she ain't so nice I gots me a plan, everybody turn nice when ya pay'em enough. Gotta grease the wheels if ya want the wagon to go.

So's as soon as I'm pleadin' my case to this here lady I find myself with my pants 'round my ankles, in a fuggen box no less. I'm quick on my feet but I ain't fast enough fer this one, but I'm already movin'. Soon as the walls come down I already got a head start but my fist just punches into the glass there. Should'a known better, fuggit, I did know better'n'a trust a damn witch but this place's makin' me go soft. I scowl at the purple bitch through the glass, starin' daggers at'er. But it ain't do me no good. I'm a patient old man. I ain't gotta be hasty, that ain't do no one no good. First of all I gotta find me a way out. Secondly when I do get out I'm gonna slice this bitch from ear to ear. That's a rule you gotta learn there, son. If ya got a gob in a trap ya better kill'em quick 'fore he gets loose cuz he's gonna fuggen get loose.

Strengths:

I get up from my hunch an' stand real tall, show'er I mean business. I get lookin' around with my arms crossed. Now I ain't bein' passive about this, nosir. Not just gonna get bent over an' let this happen to me, whatever it is she's gonna do. I'm gonna get myself outta this one way're another an' I already tried diplomacy, so's I got two more options on my plate here. Gonna try intimidation an' if that don't work gonna have to use my knife. If it gets there ain't gonna be no more pleadin', ain't no more reasonin', I'm gonna do what I gotta do an' I ain't turnin' away from it so she better open'er fuggen ears.
"Gonna take the high road here an' give ya one last chance to get me outta this here box 'fore I teach ya why they call us rogues 'mage killers'." As I'm talkin' a fog'a smoke comes to my hand an' it turns into my trusty dagger. I turn it over in my hand a bit, trace my finger along the edge. Still sharper'n a fuggen halflin' bard, perfect for turnin' problems into bodies with holes in'em. She's talkin' but I ain't listen more than I gotta cuz it ain't I'm sorry I shouldn't'a done that lemme get ya outta there. Don't right understand what I do hear anyway.
"Yeah, I got this problem where I get a strong urge to stab people in the face what put me in magic fuggen boxes. I s'pose you might wanna be lettin' me outta here 'fore you get put in a box, ya understand?" She can't even help me, she ain't no alchemist, she's a fuggen psionic whatsitcalled. Common mistake, they both do weird shit, I'll let the stories I got slide. But if she ain't let me go I'm gonna get my dagger wet an' leave her in pieces in the gutter.

Action:

Bitch has got fire in'er. Too bad gobs ain't scared a fire. Y'see, when yer small, yer life is short, an' everythin' an' their fuggen ancestors wants ya dead ya either get scared'a everythin' or nothin' can get yer skin pricklin' no more. I seen my fair share a monsters man an' beast. I lived my damn life. I ain't 'fraid a nothin' no more. I throw my hood back on, ain't concerned about scarin'er no more. It ain't gonna happen. Fuggen shame that. We got a sayin' among us rogues, ya can only intimidate someone with their permission. Then ya gotta use the knife. I step right up to the glass too. I ain't some bug ya can just put in a jar an' shake around. If she ain't know already she's gonna learn if yer fuggen with a gob ya better make sure he can't do nothin' about it down the road, cuz that green jagoff's gonna follow ya to the ends of the earth just to get even.

"Only one here's gonna be behind bars is you when they're pickin' yer guts outta a sewer grate," I grumble at'er.


If ya ain't got nothin' good to say cram it up yer asshole.

Thinkin' about it. So's ya figure yer killin' irons can cut through this here box is what yer tellin' me.

I get to listenin' to'im fer a bit. He's got a plan there. I ain't got no plan yet so's I guess we're goin' with his. This is either gonna work'er it ain't, no skin off my ass either way. If it don't I'll figure somethin' out, always do. Can't be no way outta this here shit stack otherwise I wouldn't a got in here in the first place. I smack my palm on the glass there, up towards're face like. Don't think I'll scare'er but that ain't what I'm tryin'a do here. I'm tryin'a see how much the glass rattles, how much give this box got. Got my breath foggin' up the glass there, got my face reeeeeaaaaal close there.

The voice would come from above and away, almost inaudible from where Grubby stood, fuming no doubt. Yet, the voice would be somewhat familiar someone who's presence would undoubtedly bring as much frustration as Liliana's. Shortly after the voice spoke, a large bowie knife with a long curved handle sailed through the air and embedded itself into the top of the glass box, cracking the area around it and causing a rather loud thunking sound to reverberate within the box.

If ether looked to where the knife had been thrown from they would see, up on a rooftop not to far from the pair and their box, a figure cloaked in a black coat and white mask.


The figure would seat himself on the edge of the roof, looking down at the scene unfold. With a lazy sigh, he ran a hand through his matted and messy black hair. This had gone ass end up so very...very quickly. "Please forgive the good Doctor, Grubby... She often gets a bit to excited and curious for her own good." The man shot Liliana a glare that she could read through his mask all to well.

Gettin' just about ready to break meself outta this prison. Won't be the first time, sure as shit ain't gonna be the last. I take a step backward ready to jump up on them walls but I never get the chance to do what I was gonna be doin'. Big WHUMP hit's the damn box an' I hit spin 'round with my arm coverin' my neck. Feels like the box just got hit by a crossbow. I ain't too far off, I see glintin' steel comin' outta the top, shape of a knife. Looks like I got friends in high places. Hopin' it ain't that 'lil girl what with the blue hair, I already owe'im somethin', I don't need more'a that debt.

Then I listen. I don't like what I hear. Nosir, don't like it a goddamn bit.

I listen to the voice'a that asshole what got me into this mess in the first place. Now I'd say I wasn't happy but that's undersellin' it. I was fuggen pissed lemme tell ya. Pissed'n fuggen confused. Here be the motherfucker I been lookin' all over to carve his face off'n he comes to my fuggen rescue. Means shit's gotta be harder'n I think it is, that right there by itself is enough to get Ol' Grubby in a bad mood but it gets fuggen worse when ya throw in the Warlock. Don't care what he's got on his face there, ain't gonna be no face left when I'm through. I'd recognize that fuggen voice anywhere. Here's the thing about us gobs, ya might think we're dumber'n shit but we ain't forget the ones that wronged us. Got this jagoff burned into my memory.

I get in a low stance as the two fuggen mages get to talkin' when the witch decides she's finally gonna free me. S'always gotta be fuggen wizards. Ya ain't got no evil barbarians're monks're fighters, always gotta be the wizards. Makes me worry fer Hilderbrandt. But I gots bigger fish to fry.
"Now that wasn't so fuggen hard was it, sweetheart?" I hiss at the witch. I got about half a mind to put some steel in'er but I don't fer a couple'a reasons. Fer one I said if she'd let me go I wasn't gonna do nothin' an' I still fuggen ain't. Fer two startin' a fight on two fronts is a good way to end up in a smaller box'n the one I was in. I keep my dagger high'n close to my face like ya do when yer facin' down a threat as I take some steps backwards. Let'em talk a 'lil, let'em hash it out. What I'm really fuggen doin' is gettin'em on one side'a me so's I ain't got jagoffs doin' shit behind my back. Basics a fuggen fightin' right there, don't get surrounded like a punk ass. But then it's Grubby's turn to talk an' I got shit to say.


I shoot a glance to the witch but I don't turn my body none, still gotta get ready to dodge if I gotta an' ya can't do that if ya throw down yer guard like that.
"...if'n yer fuggen workin' with the Warlock I'm gonna suggest ya reevaluate yer life choices 'fore I gotta do it for ya or we's gonna have a bone to pick later, yer ribcage with my dagger if I'm makin' the choice," I says. I ain't fuggen around here. Now I ain't a violent gob. I like the simple things. I like a good pint a ale at the end'a the day an' a nice hot bowl a stew an' I like it when people do the people thing an' act like people to each other. Cuz when ya get these jagoffs what think they can just go about turnin' good people to goo that's when my blood starts to boil. No, I ain't a violent gob, but I get plenty violent a lot if it means these assholes can't hurt nobody no more ya understand? Then I turns to the Warlock. Oh I already got somethin' goin' on with him. Got some questions, got some accusations, an' I got a hell of an itch in my wrist that wants to move back an' forth with a blade in it.


I ain't gonna lie, I ain't mad. Nosir mad happened a couple'a minutes ago when I was in the box. I'm fuggen furious ya understand? I'm gonna get me some answers an' if I don't I'm pretty damn sure I can still be satisfied with the Warlock's head hangin' from my belt. I start walkin' real slow toward the buildin' he's on. Copper to silver I'm gonna have to chase this jagoff down, but last time he cut my way off. What he ain't got goin' fer'im this time is he's on the damn roof. That's Grubby's house right there. So's he's gonna start talkin' or he's gonna start bleedin', I don't give a damn which.

The man let a haggard breath leave him as he pinched his mask where the bridge of his nose would be. A futile gesture but one that brought some semblance of relief regardless. Though, even at this he couldn't help but find a bit of humor. A dry chuckle was all he could get out though, as it seemed the goblin was none to pleased with his sudden interference. If he was angry before, he was absolutely livid now. Though why he had such a burning hatred was lost on the Traveler. "Working with me?... I suppose you could say that is our arrangement if you wanted to. It wouldn't be correct, nor would it be wrong. It would just be one way you could define the relationship I have with the dear Doctor here. As for belonging to me... Grubby, you misunderstand. You don't belong to me, no no..."


"Frankly it's more that you are in my employ then anything else. As such, should you choose, you are free to leave my employment at any time..." The Traveler's words carried with them an air of finality as he leaped to a lower room and gestured with open arms to Liliana "Merely say the word and the good Doctor will remove your Persona and you will be rid of the responsibilities there in. You will be able to return to the life you had before it awoke. Honestly a Seeker who does not seek is more of a liability anyway...Though I don't see that problem with you Grubby. You're so naturally curious that it would be a shame if you decided to give it up."

With that said the Traveler would leap down to ground level, or at the very least the level at which Grubby and Liliana were standing."But before all that... you said you had a question for me?..." As the Traveler approached, a faint feeling of wrongness would overtake the area. As if something in the immediate vicinity was fundamentally incorrect and it's very existence was pulling the geometry of the landscape in directions that did not exist.

I ain't like that. Not a fuggen bit. I ain't like beein' chosen fer fuggen nothin' but I 'spose it can't be helped, I'm a fuggen goblin adventurer motherfucker some shit ya just can't get away from. If I got chosen fer somethin' I got chose fer it, ain't nothin' I can do about it but do what I always do an' that's what I think is gonna be right. But I ain't gonna let this slide. Not gonna lie, this jagoff scares me. I ain't scared'a warlocks but this asshole's somethin' else. But I ain't backin' down. If it ain't gonna be me it's gonna be someone else an' they's gonna be younger'n have a whole life ahead of'em. This my damn job. I stand up to assholes an' I make'em pay fer what they did in blood. Been doin' this my whole life, it ain't stoppin' now just cuz I'm a 'lil skittish.

I set my jaw there and face the Warlock, but I speaks to the Witch.
"So it's fuggen blackmail, is that right now? ...s'posin' ya get a pass fer that one. But that's gonna be a one time thing, ya understand?" I suck my teeth an' nod a 'lil, borin' a fuggen hole in that bastard's mask with my eyes there. I get it. Not everyone's a fuggen adventurer, they got weaknesses like the rest'a every fuggen jagoff that walks the land. But that's gonna fuggen stop cuz I'm gonna put a stop to it, ain't no fuggen excuses no more. I ain't here to make enemies but if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen. There's just some shit I can't let slide an' I got a real low tolerance fer mages what wanna stick their noses in shit no one understands fer shits an' fuggen chuckles.
"S'gonna be on him what he wants from ya, hopin' it ain't mercy. Ran outta that shit a while ago."

I square up to the Warlock. I got my dagger twirlin' in my fingers there. Ain't gonna be no surprise attacks on my watch even if we's talkin'. That motherfucker makes a twitch I don't like an' he's gettin' one in the damn throat.

"Don't matter who ya are, I don't give a damn. Don't care about what ya want from me neither cuz I'm real bad at followin' instructions. You take from me an' I'm gonna take from you right back but I'm a damn greedy motherfucker, understand? Got a few things pickin' at my brain here, one fer now an' one fer back on the wagon. S'posin' I should ask ya why ya chose my side like ya did now but that ain't what I been lookin' fer. What I wanna know is..."


Now that's the shit that makes my stomach turn right there. I can't stand these cult lovin' baby killin' assholes. He's takin' my guardian spirit over my ugly corpse, gonna have to fight me first an' I'm a sore fuggen loser I tell ya that. My fist clenches 'round my dagger there as I keep talkin'. I ain't one to raise my voice, ain't one to lose my cool, but this motherfucker's been askin' for a stabbin' since he came my way. An' ya don't cross a gob if ya can't finish the job.
"...how many people ya turn to goo? How many lives ya think ya cut short fer what? Bring some god up from the Outer Realm? Raise an army a monsters, make yerself immortal, yer momma an' poppa never love ya what fuggen what, huh?! Ya think cuz yer enlightened an' so damn smart ya can just do whatever the fuck you wanna do, is that fuggen right?! Cuz no one on the Prime can fuggen stop ya! ...well I'm tellin' ya here it ain't that simple. I don't care who ya are, what ya can do, it don't mean shit to me son. You ain't the scariest motherfucker I ever put in a pinewood box. What I wanna know is how many names I gotta carve into yer spine." My ring starts glowin' an' flashin' in spurts a blue fire. The shape of a man gets cast in the shadows it makes, spinnin' a knife 'tween'is knuckles like he's lookin' to use it.

The Traveler laughed wryly as Liliana began to take her leave. At this point it didn't surprise him that she was fed up with the situation. He had hijacked her conversation and gotten in the middle of her work, something that he had learned in the past was not a good idea regardless of the circumstances...However, some resources were to valuable to let go so easily. "Here I had hoped I could defuse the situation... yet it seems I've only made it worse. Liliana... Do take care, I'm sure I'll be stopping by very soon to work out a payment for the damage I have done to your equipment. Though if you wish to speak with our dear Goblin further, my business here is almost finished... perhaps you two can give it another go? After all, we're all friends here right?"

The Traveler's response, however, would be the same whether or not Liliana took her leave, he would curtly nod and turn his attention to Grubby who... Had asked quite the interesting question.


"You see, these souls, these innocents, are nothing more then poker chips I have lost in a game with a man who has stacked the deck in his favor. I am simply attempting to win them back." The Traveler adjusted his mask and held a gloved hand out to grubby... in it a single black sphere, glistening in the artificial lights of the city. "And this... the power of Ego, the power of Persona... you Seekers, are my last chip."

The Traveler chuckled and returned the orb to his jacket..."Though if you're looking for a more literal answer and not for a wiry old traveler to wax philosophic. The answer is none. I did not turn anyone into "goo". That train was empty simply because we were the only two on it. Though.. heh, I did have something to do with the Builder that attacked the train. Or... Well... It was chasing me before I got on and I simply allowed it to chose a new friend to play with. I wanted to ensure you awoke and it was a convenient catalyst."

The Traveler smiled under his mask as Grubby's Persona began to materialize. Should Lilliana still be present he would look to her and nod approvingly."There, does that satisfy your suspicion of me? Or will I get a first hand look at the power you have been given?"