Scrambled and Hard-Boiled [Susan & Maxwell]

Susan bit her lip in fierce concentration, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles as feelings of anxiety washed over her. She eased her foot off the gas and then jittered down over and over in her most careful attempt at navigating the country roads of East Eden. Her Audi truly wasn't the best vehicle for this type of terrain, and truth be told she might as well have gone off-roading in it with all the divots and loose gravel. No doubt her car was getting dusty and the kicked-up rocks sounded like rain on her undercarriage. Susan squinted, focusing intently, praying in silence that she wouldn't get a flat out here. A tow truck took over an hour in the city to reach you, Lord knows how long it would take in the middle of nowhere. If she even got any cell service, that is. The unnerving thoughts drove her forward; the sooner she arrived at her destination, the sooner she would stop driving, and the sooner she could step out of her vehicle and take a breath.

It became her mission to reach the farm at all costs... at least that's what she told herself. Thinking of herself as some sort of heroine on an assignment took her mind off of how badly she would be in trouble if her Audi broke down, at least. Come to think of it, her trip was exactly how some crime dramas started. A woman in a suit drives a black sedan over unmarked roads into the rural sprawl. The crime scene: a farmhouse. She would strut from her vehicle to the lonely shack with the rocking chair on the porch, rap her knuckles on the door frame, and produce her special agent's badge to the local yokel dwelling within. They were the only witness to the murder in the barren fields and without a solid lead the trail would go cold. She would chat with the witness, slowly digging out what she needed to know until they dropped a major hint, everything was riding on her shoulders. Her car would nearly collide with the sign out front if she didn't put on the brakes, plowing through th-

Susan slammed her foot on the brake pedal and jerked the wheel hard, coming back to the real world as she almost ran into the sign for the farm house. Quite the feat considering this place was very nearly the only thing on the horizon. The businesswoman clutched her chest for a few breaths, calming down from her miniature heart attack before coming back to the task at hand. With a slight bit of maneuvering she rocked her car back and forth on the path before guiding it down the forlorn road to the townhouse out in the middle of nowhere.

It took her a moment to get out of the vehicle, steeling her nerves for what was to come. It didn't feel as simple as she thought it would be earlier this morning. Now that she was alone and driving a suspicious black car heading to a private residence she didn't have any business being at it become more difficult to go out and introduce herself. But she persevered... after a minute procrastinating and pretending to check her phone. Susan's footfalls crunched in the dirt, her pant legs becoming dusty as she marched hesitantly to the door with her heart pounding like a timpani. She swiveled her head back and forth as she walked, looking for someone already out and about so this would be less awkward but had no such luck in locating anyone. Fine. Looks like this wasn't going to be as easy as she wanted it to. You know, this could be much easier if you could only order home-grown eggs, vegetables, and cuts of meat from local farmers through a phone app or website...

Becoming distracted again, Susan tapped at her phone for real this time making a note of her possible app development idea (app that orders produce/meat from local farmers. Market as eco/vegan/organic. Names? Farmr, MyFarm, Harvestr, Funky Chicken) before making her approach to the door. Timidly she leaned closer and struck her knuckles on the wooden frame three times quite lighter than she should have, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't need to call out to anyone. She half-decided that if no one answered she would consider this field trip a waste and she would head in to work. But.... she couldn't. Susan had already made a promise.

The sign that was spared a chance encounter with the car would’ve indeed been a very sad thing to lose. It was the only “street sign” out here that allowed those that had drifted this far know that there was indeed a small farm or residence in the area. If it had been taken out, then that knowledge would be lost until someone fixed it...and in parts like these Lord knew when someone would do that. That aside, the lone residence at the end of the road would indeed be quiet. The only sounds was the nature around the woman and the soft clucks from chickens in the back along with other animals. When she knocked, she wouldn’t get an answer...or at least not in the way one would expect. She knocked on the door yes, but there would be no movement from inside outside of a cat that was casually sitting on the window sill of an open window, the screen long gone making it easy for anything to get in if they tried hard enough that is. The cat would blink slowly at the woman before looking back at the trees seeming to not care there was some stranger on the porch as it flicked its tail contemplating some unknown thought.

There would be silence for a few seconds longer, but then a voice would call out to her. “Oh, there really was someone at the door. Ya knocked so lightly I thought I was hearing things,” the voice would say from somewhere behind and above the woman. If she turned and looked up, the woman would find her eyes meeting a strange sight. A head to be precise was looking at her from an upside down position on the roof of the establishment. Dark hair dangling with gravity around strange horn like objects that jutted from the head and a face covered in tattoos and scars with a more or less friendly grin would observe her with quiet amusement.


“Hey there. Did you need something?” the strange person would ask as if talking from someone from your roof was normal these days.

The edge of Susan's nerves prickled as she waited, trying to decide whether or not to try to knock again and get her eggs or to quit while she was ahead and return to the relative safety of the city. Apparently no one was home, which was odd at this hour. It was early enough in the morning that someone should be home, but then again this was a farm out in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps the farmer had awoken long before the rooster crowed to get his work done? Or he had to travel a long ways to the city and had to be there in the morning? It made sense enough. Susan stepped away from the door with a sullen look. Now that she'd gotten more accustomed to the place it wasn't as scary as she thought it was when she walked away from her car, probably because she realized that no one was here. That was the most frightening thing about the situation, that she would have to explain why she was on a stranger's property and hopefully not face down an angry farmer's boomstick.

I think I need to stop watching scary movies, no one acts like that. It's just a stereotype. I-I hope.

Susan wasn't quite ready to head back to her car yet in the off-chance that someone would appear and so turned to the cat she hadn't noticed when her eyes were pressed against her phone. She took a finger under the lazy kitty's chin to scratch its soft fur when she heard a voice react to her knock. The businesswoman immediately shot up straight to a proper posture. She wouldn't want anyone to be mad at her that she was petting their cat without their permission. Buuuuuut the voice didn't come from inside. She had been looking right through the window. Susan spun around looking for the origin of the mystery speaker until she heard the voice once more. Coming from a head peering down from the rough. From something with horns. Yyyyyep.

"........A.....aa......aaah...." her voice cracked, the terrified scream caught within her throat as she stared bug-eyed at the devil staring into her soul. Her body froze, legs locked into position until they began to slip out from underneath her. Susan's legs buckled and she fell backward against the wood, knocking her head a little, the rap against the wall causing her body to be able to move again. She began to tremble and shake like a leaf caught in a hurricane but her body still wouldn't cooperate. She didn't even think it would help.
"...Nn....nnn-no. N-No...! I-I didn't need anything...!" she stammered reflexively, intent on not bothering the horror that was questioning why she was in its domain.
This is how I die. This was the twist to the crime drama, where the agent shows up and they find her in twelve different pieces days later and half of them are in the stomachs of pigs. This is how I die. This is how I die. I'm going to die.
Susan stayed plastered against the wall as if she were trying to melt into the wood, teeth chattering as her panicked eyes hovered in their sockets in a terrified stare. What did it want from her...?

The lazy cat on the window wasn’t like ordinary cats that would scramble at the sight of a stranger. No, the black fluff ball would only turn its green eyes to the woman as she approached and reached out to it. It didn’t mind the petting, the cat lifting its chin and purring at the touch. Perhaps this would’ve been a peaceful moment and maybe the girl could’ve gotten off the porch in peace….that is if the owner of the property hadn’t decided to show itself right then and there. And boy what a reaction the appearance got.

Now the strange being on the roof was used to extreme reactions. It had gotten everything from people running away to people physically attacking, so what it saw was nothing unusual, but still….The creature never did feel good about scaring the shit out of people just for saying hi. This situation was no different. The creature on the roof would frown a bit as a look of guilt and a bit of sadness came to the face that watched the other. “Hey now. It’s alright. I know I ain’t easy on the eyes, but I am not going to hurt you,” the creature would say and then remembering it was on the roof, it would try something else.

“Look. Let me come down okay? I promise I ain’t as bad as I seem,” the creature would say gently before shifting a bit to get a better grip on the roof’s edge. It would take some careful maneuvering, but the agile creature would eventually lower itself before dropping off the roof landing on the ground below in a low crouch like a cat as the jewelry, bones, and belts on it clinked with the movement. Straightening out its clothing, the wild looking creature would eventually turn back to the girl on its porch keeping its steps slow so as not to frighten her more. The creature would come to a rest so the girl could see it clearly enough before holding its hands up in surrendering fashion, trying to show it meant no harm.

“See? Not gonna hurt ya. Just calm down. Breathe, okay?” the creature would say its voice soothing as it kept an eye on the girl just in case she became violent or something. Meanwhile the cat in the window would surprisingly stay put as it observed the show on the porch with curious eyes. Apparently it was used to this sort of thing too. How strange.

The businesswoman had no choice but to allow the demon to do what it wanted and come closer as she stood frozen and pressed up against the wall. She had long lost control of her little situation anyway. Whatever was going to happen next she was powerless to stop. Would she become another set of bones dangling off of the beast...? Would her death be swift and merciful or would she suffer for days on end as it toyed with her, torturing her for amusement until it grew bored and did away with her? D-did you still go to heaven if a demon killed you or did it steal your soul...!? Who would take over the Corning account if she were to be murdered!? Jim Turner!? He would mess it up and lose thousands! It was funny what passed through your mind when you knew you were about to die. Here she was about to be a meal for some hellish creature and she was concerned about her job. Susan merely mewled a high-pitched whine as the monster slowly approached her "promising" she would not come to any harm.

And right up until it said something Susan hadn't realized that she in fact was not breathing, even to the point of becoming a little purple in the face.
"Okay... *haaah* o-o-okay... *haaah*..." gasped the panicked woman, heaving with shaking breaths. Something about being told that she could breathe again made her feel somewhat calmer... but not completely relaxed of course. It might have dialed her back from a 10 to a 9 on the Fearing for Your Life meter. The life slowly returned to her face in a warm wash of bloodflow, her senses coming back a little with the oxygen in her lungs. First of all she needed to leave and as quickly as she could reasonably manage. At least the creature was talking to her and didn't start with mauling her face into hamburger, so maybe she might have a chance...

"I-I'm so-sorry..." she whimpered, "I-I'm very sorry, I-I didn't mean to bother you, I should go now, so very sorry, I-I'll never trouble you again, I'm sorry..." Susan's attempts to... talk her way out of her predicament... naturally defaulted to begging for her life in terror. The flustered woman cast her eyes down and away from the frightening beast in a submissive gesture, wrapping her arms around herself defensively lest she offend it by acting even more sheepish than she already was. There was also the added benefit of not seeing her impending death coming. That would not be a pleasant last memory to have flash before her eyes.

The situation was less than pleasant to say the least. While the creature did indeed come down and even moved a bit closer so the girl could see it, the creature did not move to go onto the porch as it stayed at the edge of the small staircase watching the girl that looked like she was about to die from lack of air. Honestly the creature didn’t want to deal with her passing out...because that meant that it would have to take her inside…..and if she was already scared like this, then what would happen if she woke up to see the creature instead? Yeah. That would not be fun.

Not sure what to do to make this situation better, the creature would lift a hand to rubbed the back of its head as a puzzled frown crossed those black stained lips. What to do?

Well, perhaps not panic about her passing out. She at least listened to the advice of actually breathing, so that was maybe a start? The creature couldn’t qute tell as the woman continued to behave as any prey would. It was honestly depressing. Staying away, the creature would eventually sigh as it placed a hand on its hip and shifted its weight to the left a bit as it looked away from the girl on the porch and off to the side with an unreadable expression on its face.

“Listen lady. I know I ain’t the easiest to be around and quite frankly with the way the world is now I don’t blame ya for being afraid and wanting run. If you wanna leave, by all means you can. I am not going chase ya nor stop you. As for being a bother, I don’t see how you are if you never said why you were here to begin with. Though I have a feeling you might not say anything about that at all considering the circumstances. So uh...you’re welcome hang around if you like. As for me, I am going to go take the care of the animals," the creature would say looking over at her and tried to give a small smile; however, the creature gave up after a few seconds of viewing the way she was positioned, shaking its head before moving towards the left side of the house and the gate that led to farm back there. Honestly, the creature saw no need to keep the poor girl petrified, so she could do what she wanted in the end as long as said desire wasn’t harming it or its property that is.

At the monster's casual words Susan almost bolted for her Audi right there and then. It said she could leave and if she waited around any longer it might become annoyed at her and change its mind. She wasn't much of a runner but she was pretty sure with all the fear pushing her she could make it halfway to her car in a a fraction of a heartbeat. The anxious woman swallowed hard as it began to move again and completely... ignored... her. Surprisingly enough it calmed Susan down. She was more bewildered than anything else? Why didn't it want to eat her? Was it her? Was she too boring that even the lords of hell sort of... waved her away because she wasn't worth their time? It was... the feeling was indescribable. Susan was relieved but also... slightly offended? Could you be both of those at once? Her expression changed from terror-stricken to perplexed as the demon walked past her on its way and slid herself along the wall to watch it as it went.

Susan peered her head slowly around the wall to follow it with her eyes as it walked toward the rest of the farm. Now that she was beginning to relax she felt more curious than anything, but more than that she had something to do. The businesswoman wasn't about to go through all this trouble of coming out in the middle of nowhere and then almost getting murdered and then being brushed off by her potential murderer to go home empty-handed. She had to ask what she came for. If anything else it would be less awkward that way. Should she dash to her vehicle and tear down the road she would seem like some sort of freak, but she could save this! This could all be a misunderstanding! Misunderstandings weren't... quite social suicide so they were okay! P-probably.

The fraidy cat took another hard swallow for another reason: now she had to think of what to say. But her chance was getting away. If the monster walked too far away it would seem as if she was stalking it and then she would seem like a weirdo. Well... h-here goes nothing! Susan took a few steps from around the side of the porch after the devil before speaking up.
"Eh... eh-eggs," she spoke in a voice barely above conversational, the best she could do at the moment, "I-I wanted to buy eh... eggs from you." Okay, that wasn't too bad.
"I was looking online for places to get eggs because I need to make a lemon meringue but not just any lemon meringue this one needs to be flawless and made with the freshest ingredients because my coworkers are having a baby shower for Megan and we were throwing out ideas and I brought up a pot luck and then someone suggested I bake for it and I couldn't say no and now I need to bake for the office but I can't just go out and buy a lemon meringue because that won't be good enough and I was out of groceries so I thought about doing organic and I came up with the idea to get groceries from a farm but farms wouldn't have their own websites and I had the good idea to look on ChalkMark for farms with signs and... nnnnn..."

...aaaaaaand messed it up. Susan droned on about a whole lot of nothing before trailing away, realizing what she was doing past the point of no return. She went from shyly explaining sort of why she was there with a hesitant posture but at least still acting like a normal person to clamming up and staring at the dirt. Nice one, Susan. On the plus side if this thing didn't want her for breakfast because she was dull it really wouldn't want her now.

Was the creature ignoring her? No. Despite not looking at her directly, the creature was quite aware of the girl and her actions. It knew fear well enough and could read the girl’s desire to escape. A little saddening yes, but what did one such as itself do? It wasn’t a beast looking to harm or eat anyone….and to be frank it took no pleasure in tormenting people either. It was true it was by no means normal and yes it understood that this torment was a choice in life it had placed upon itself willingly. Even so that never changed the guilt there when someone became so frightened of the creature like the girl had. It was a harsh bite from reality, but the creature bared its cross as it moved towards the back gate.

It felt the girl’s eyes on it and heard her move about the porch, but even so the creature would keep its eyes from drifting towards her. Going about it’s business, it would approach a large gate to enter the farm, but just as its hand reached out for the latch to open said gate the girl would speak. Hmmm? The creature would blink as it turned a bit to look at her.

She wanted to buy eggs? Well that was an easy enough thing to….What? The demon would stay quiet as the woman went from requesting eggs to telling it the whole story about why said eggs were needed. More amused than upset, the demon would find itself smiling gently at the other as it turned to face her full to listen to the tale. And when it spoke after the girl trailed off, the voice wasn’t a mocking one or anything.

“Well now, I suppose I can’t say no to ya after hearing what is for. It seems you are willing to work hard to make something divine. I agree. Fresh eggs are the best, but online? Hmmm….” The creature would pause as looked upward at the sky thinking as it tapped its lip with its index finger. “I am not sure if many farmers actually do that. If you want their freshest products you’d have to come their farms, so I am not sure if you’d have the freshest of the freshest if you did find an online vendor. Regardless of that, I suppose I can sell you some eggs despite not being in the selling business. I have enough to spare. Come on, I can introduce you to ladies and we can see what price we can settle on for your perfect lemon meringue “ The creature would gesture with its hand for her to follow before moving to unlatch the gate.

If the girl did follow the creature, she would find that pass the gate was a large expanse of land separated by gates that marked where the fruits and vegetables were, where the chickens were, and the horses, and out in the fields where the cows could graze. It wasn’t a huge farm, but it was enough for one person, but surprisingly enough it did not have pigs. Instead it had another smaller house where fish were kept instead. In any case, the creature would move over to a covered area where some items rested and pick up a basket for collecting eggs for now seeming quite natural and comfortable out here. Maybe the creature was just an odd farmer. Who knew.

The woman squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting a long and grizzly death that never... came... huh. To say the least it was unexpected, Susan had actually stared at the demon with a look of confusion at the fact that it was going to treat this as the normal conversation it clearly wasn't since it began. At least not to her. It made her almost feel guilty that she had treated the creature like a ravenous mass of murder and impending evisceration if it was going to be so cordial. Almost. Susan was still more puzzled than frightened but the fear was still present, if no longer at being mauled then from sticking her foot in her mouth. Her eyes lit up when the creature had agreed to help her, but most importantly at the prospect of business. It was as if the lens cap had been taken off of a camera and her expression became ever-so-slightly more resolute and focused. It was simple to stay on task when her goal was in sight.
"Thank you," Susan would nod slowly, approaching as the beast turned around once more to continue on its way.

The timid woman fluttered to close the distance between her and it taking mindful care not to catch her heels in any lose gravel or dirt. Upon bridging the gap she would follow in step with the farmer, hovering two paces behind like a dog at heel. She had almost felt like giving rebuttal to its comments on how online availability for fresh organic produce and meat would be difficult to implement, she was certain it would work. It wasn't an issue with delivery and freshness wasn't exactly the point, only part of it, the entire premise would be that you could have guaranteed organic fruits and vegetables plucked straight from the ground delivered to your doorstep once a week.
"...it would take a little infrastructure, but it's doable with a third-party delivery... the question of consistent quality comes into play, so might need to introduce processing facilities... that would drive up the cost too much, could be potentially balanced with... no, that wouldn't work... hmm, but what about...?" she would mutter aloud to herself, completely oblivious that she was doing so. The creature was correct, this was not an idea that would work though for an entirely different reason than it mentioned. It could be done, but that did not necessarily mean that it should be done. The cost would be too great for such a niche service without an already existing infrastructure. Susan had, in effect, re-invented grocery stores. But that did leave her with an interesting idea to ponder involving an app that you could order groceries online with, possibly having a default "list" of groceries that would appeal to college students and bachelors since the shopping was already done for them. Perhaps she would call it GrocR...

Past the gate and into the larger area of the farm it was strangely idyllic and serene, strange given the appearance of the farmhouse. Susan would never say it aloud, especially in this close proximity to the owner of the establishment... but it looked fairly ramshackle. It most likely was not its fault, she imagined that a farmer would have much work to occupy themselves with and things such as window repair and coats of paint were on the bottom of the task list. Nevertheless the worn fences, rows of crops, and grazing animals happened to be calming. It was... like morning glories growing overtop a broken bottle, shining in the sunlight's faintest rays. Yes, that was an apt metaphor.
"...you have a lovely farm," the businesswoman remarked vacantly, her attention turned toward the sights around her. A small part of her brain was attempting to monetize this little slice of paradise, as usual.
"Who are these ladies we will be meeting? Do you have employees?" asked Susan innocently. If... whatever this was had employees it would be a small operation and much easier to incorporate into... whatever investments Salem Ltd. would wish to make. Unless its constituents were similarly demonic and hellish creatures, then Susan would be sure to faint instead.

This chick was interesting to say the least and kind of a roller coaster ride on the mental side for the creature. On one hand, the fear the other displayed was a heavy weight to bare though the creature would do so without showing a sign of just how heavy it was. The creature remained calm with its head held upward and its body language relaxed. Outside of the frowns given when it was trying to figure out what to do, no one looking at it would know of its mental struggles when it came to the situation. That aside, it seemed things would change when the girl on the porch finally realized or maybe accepted the fact that the creature was not about to harm her. The factor that somehow saved the situation? Eggs and apparently views on business too. Strange, but somehow those two things focused the girl and unfroze her from her spot.

As the woman said her thank you and decided to follow, the creature would find itself highly amused. Before the girl wanted to keep away, but now she followed only a few steps behind. Interesting how she suddenly didn’t seem too bothered by being close to it. A good thing considering it would’ve been a pain in the ass to do anything if the other remained terrified. That aside though, the creature would catch wind of her words and in turn respond to what it heard after a few seconds of thinking.

“You say its doable, but at the same time you have other issues outside of costs to worry about. The first thing you’d have to worry about is if the farmers will even agree. Some may flat out turn you down and even if some may be yes at first the moment that you tell ‘em their products will go through a processor of any sort, you might get those that will challenge the logic behind the vegetable being fresh or true to what you are selling then. I am not saying don’t go for it, but don’t you think need to get a feel for what the ones you’ll be getting said product from actually want to do? See if it is even worth moving forward with?” A good idea was a good idea and perhaps if you were doing it for yourself then yeah by all means have fun with it, but when said product was suppose to involve multiple hands and consumers? Well pushing forward the idea became a bit more complicated didn’t it? Well whatever came out of that only time would tell.

In any case once they were out back, the creature would get the collecting basket and let the other look over the place, not seeming to mind the action at all. When the creature heard the comment, it would give the other a lopsided smirk. “Heh, you think so. Well good cause I’d be pissed otherwise. It took a lot of hard work, sweat, blood, and tears to get this place up and running. Now the only big thing to tackle is the house.” It was a work in progress, but in time the creature planned to make it nice and even more functional too. One thing at a time though, yes? Now then. Eggs.

With the basket in hand, the creature would lead the way to the hen house answering the other’s question as they moved. “I have no employees. I work my ass off to keep the place up and running, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do ya know. And honestly I like the job, so win-win there. As for the ladies,” the demon would open a door and enter the small cozy home of hay and bird feathers were four fat hens were, two on either side. The hens were rather calm as they looked up at the creature when they entered and then the guest that followed. Moving to the center of the house, the demon would introduce the “ladies” to the girl by name. "Annie, Mary, Lily, and Beatrix,” the demon would point to each ending with the only pure black one in the house with a pleased smirk.  “These are my gals that keep me supplied with eggs and then some,” the creature would chuckle softly before moving over to begin looking for eggs for collection. As the creature worked, it would talk. “Speaking of names, I forgot to give you mine's earlier. The name is Maxwell, but you can just call me Max. What’s your name?”

Susan stared at the odd creature as if it had grown another head. What on earth was it talking about? Farmers? That wasn't...
Oh. Susan had neglected to remember to inform the other party in her largely one-sided conversation that she had moved on with her idea. She digressed, she could have it done. Those that would disagree could be persuaded with enough money or bought outright, as for processing of any kind it was no one's responsibility to inform the supplier what Salem Ltd. intended to do with their product. They would deliver it, Salem would pay, and then Salem would leave with its product. End of story. For everything else there were contracts that could be greased and levied. With enough planning and liquid assets Salem Ltd. could accomplish whatever it set out to do, the issue was making a profit. And that's what Susan was hired to do, turn profits. Nothing in her offer letter described delivering a quality product or an honest one, just that the products sold and continued to do so.

"N-No," she hesitated, making eye contact with the ground, "...you are correct. It would never work." The businesswoman would acquiesce yet not explain further the why it wouldn't work. For one if it took so much infrastructure that was a problem and this problem was obvious. For two she wasn't one to let anything about her ideas slip. Well... at least anything concrete. And definitely not on purpose! Susan would continue to follow in-step with the horned one, further entertaining her real idea before slowing to a halt when it "joked" about being angry with her and how she had better like its farm. After which reality came crashing down around her ears and she realized that she was buying eggs from a demon and talking about app ideas in the middle of nowhere like a crazy person.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply- I mean I would never imply-" she began to stammer out.

But the demon had left her. It had entered the chicken coop crowing about its prized chicken. It was the place of Susan's demise. Dirty, smelly, and covered in feathers. Huh. If she'd have had to guess when she woke up this morning if she were to die today how it would be she would have guessed checking her phone in traffic and slamming into a guardrail. But one thing was for certain and it's that Susan needed to leave immediately. Her curiosity was sated and the priority of the lemon meringue was now outweighed by the threat of grizzly dismemberment in hillbilly hell. Literally hillbilly hell. Shrinking back in fear Susan looked at her phone as if what to do before getting an idea, and placed the phone to her ear in a mock conversation.
"Yes? ...I see. No, it's no trouble, I will be there as soon as I can." With her hands shaking Susan hung up her "phone call" and turned to the creature with an apologetic-yet-frightened look.
"M-my name isn't that important, b-but I have to run! I'm so sorry I don't have any t-time left, I'm being called into work. It was nice visiting you and your farm, Maxwell, have a pleasant day!"

The cowardly businesswoman had called out those last words over her shoulder as she more or less scrambled to get back to her Audi, back to safety and normalcy and not-dying in a chicken coop. She feverishly fumbled for her keys before finding them in the nick of time and...! Cautiously backed up her vehicle in a responsible manner. If she hit the sign like she had almost done the first time it would only make the beast more furious with her and if her tire blew out then she was a sitting duck. Fast and smooth and smooth was fast. It was only after a little over a mile toward town did she realize one of her sole mistakes.

Crap... I didn't even take any pictures! No one will believe why I'm late for work... nnnmmmrrgh...

The creature honestly couldn’t figure this one out. One minute, the woman was mumbling about how this and that wouldn’t work, but then as soon as it had made mention of potential push back, the girl had agreed and left her topic at that? Hmmm...One had to wonder what was going through the girl’s head. Was she perhaps keeping things to herself? It was a mystery, but the creature wouldn’t poke into the matter further as it led the way to the hen house. Last thing it wanted was to make this already shaking situation bad.... However, it was on the trip to the hen house that things would exactly turn that way and start sliding down hill.

The creature did take note that the girl did halt when it joked a bit with her about liking the farm. Its eyes would glance at her as it tilted its head a bit when the girl began to stammer out apologize. The creature opened its mouth to say something, but then deciding against it the horned creature would close its mouth and shake its head before looking over at the girl with a soft smile. “It’s fine. Come on.” The creature tried to keep its voice soothing and gentle though how well that worked? To be frank the demon wished it knew.

You see, despite its best efforts to keep things on a calm level, the hen house was the final straw for the skittish woman with it. The creature had told the woman the names of the chicken, but instead of a response the girl would back away in true terror? The creature would frown at this one as it watched her perform her actions, perplexed...and slightly peeved. That phone….it never rang. It probably never even vibrated and yet the girl was still putting it to her ear and using it to speak to an invisible friend. Oh yeah. The creature wasn’t dumb and it knew technology well enough to know when someone was faking a conversation or not.

Even so, the demon wouldn’t fight this truth as it heard the woman address it after her so called phone call was over. Addressed it and was taking off...without her eggs. The creature could facepalm right about now at the situation, but didn’t as the frown became a bit distressed and saddened as the girl began to flee. She moved so fast that it didn’t even really get to say good bye. The creature thought to follow her, but then seeing what a bad idea that was, the creature sighed as it looked at the ground a bit. “Yeah see ya lady,” it would say softly to a person that was no longer there. Guess it should do some collecting since it was here anyway….