LIP: Local Investment Plan [Newman and Selenus's kissing booth]

Selenus looked up at Newman like he'd asked if water was wet. "You're smoking. Nobody's going to want to kiss you if your mouth tastes like nicotine and tobacco." he'd comment matter-of-factly. Newman would chuckle and fake a hurt expresion "Hey, I'm sure somebody's gotta be into that. You're right though, we should broaden the demographic." The man would comply, putting the cigarette out and throwing it in the trash before putting a mint in his mouth, chewing it, then finishing up with breath freshener.

"Alright, I think we're ready. Open the gates!" He'd command Selenus in an overly dramatic voice, who in turn would open the folds of their way-too-expensive-for-anybody's-good, jewelry-adorned tent booth. To the side of the tent booth, an embelished sign read:

Normally, Masako was quick to jump into any booth she saw. This one, however, made her hesitate.

"... I'm using my protection," she announced as she summoned her soul-bound katana. Something about this place screamed of shady.

"You're not gonna attack him, are you?" asked a concerned Tatum.

"No, as he has not yet committed a wrong against me. I just don't want to be caught off guard." Was all Masako said as she walked towards the entrance.

"You are a dangerous person, you know that, Masako?" Tatum replied, "Why are we still doing this for tickets? This should be enough, right? Let's just call it a day."

"It's not about that anymore," Masako declared, "There is a thief in the area, a kissing thief. We must visit every booth if we are to have any chance to ambush them and bring them to justice."

"You mean make them apologize, right?" Tatum replied.

Masako couldn't help but appreciate the child's innocence.

"We shall see," she said as she finally entered, pointing dramatically at the host. "I wish to partake in this ritual!"

"Hey!" Tatum replied, recognizing a certain lawn ornament, "You have one too! You really are a billionaire! And we can kiss him?" Without hesitation, Tatum kissed the lawn ornament on the forehead. "My darling prince will now spring forth and sweep me away! And then Masako will think that I'm being kidnapped and rush to my rescue, also like a dashing prince! It's win win!"

"Wh-what an impressive imagination, you have," Masako declared stoically.

"Then came the storm..." Tatum said mischievously.

To both Newman's and Selenus's surprise, their first guest wouldn't come in the form of their targeted demographic, but in that of two little girls. Newman chuckled heartilly at the older one's request. "I'm sorry little missy, but if I were to kiss you I'd end up on the news for all the wrong reasons" He explained to her in an apologetic tone. "You can kiss him though, if you want." He'd say with a smile as he threw his thumb backwards pointing at Selenus.

"Excuse me?!" Selenus would exclaim, shocked."I never agreed to participate! I was only to be your helper!" He complained.

Newman simply pointed towards the sign outside of the tent. "Read the sign Moonshine." When Selenus peeked his head out of the tent, he'd notice the words in small letters: "Or his robot dog. We don't judge." And turn to look back at his master with betrayal in his metaphorical eyes. "I didn't rescue you for this."

While the smaller child of the two pestered Selenus, however, a figure peeked its head through the tent. "Oh hey, aren't you the boy that was running a booth with the pink haired girl?" Newman would greet the newcommer with a smile and a wave of the hand. "What's up? Did you need something?"

Now, Newman was not into men. He certainly had nothing against the people who were, but he himself just vastly preferred women. But Newman Never, and I repeat: Never wasted an opportunity to play Cassanova.

Smiling slyly to himself when the boy asked for his name, Newman extended his hand in the way he greeted any potential victims of his flirting ways. "The name's Douglas Newman, it's a pleasure to meet you." He greeted. "You?"

"My new customer, eh?" He asked coyly "I'd love to get started, but as you can see my hands are a bit full." He'd comment, tilting his head towards the two children present to point at them. "Help me out with this little situation and we can start "talking busines". Sound good?"

Tatum stared a bit as the "lawn ornament" got up and left to read a sign. Then the lawn ornament came back, looking rather displeased.

Tatum was unable to contain her shock.

"It can move?! It can talk?!?!?!"

Well, at least one of them got their kiss. She then said to the host, "It's good that you feel as such sir. I think with Tatum kissing your robot assistant, it's enough. Thank... you...". She just now noticed who was there with them. Hadn't she seen him before? Right, from their first booth.

Wait... did he say...

"Did you just claim to be his customer?" Asked a Masako, clearly too shocked and unsure by this.

Then again, she was one to talk. She had collected several kisses from various women already, though always on the forehead or the cheek. So it was likely to be the same for these two, right?

"LOOK, THE THIEF OF KISSES!!!" Tatum lied, pointed dramatically.

"THEY SHANT GET AWAY!" Masako cried out, rushing out at full speed.

"You two can thank me later," the child said, "I've been on the Internet long enough to know when two strapping young men want to be alone." With that, she left after Masako.

It was well and all that the problem had solved itself, but... had that ten-year-old just alluded to watching erotic content on the internet? For everyone's sake, Newman would simply assume she limited herself to news about gay rights on the internet. But nevermind that, Newman had a customer to attend to. Selenus decided to turn off the lights of his visors to give the impression that he wasn't looking, but in reality he was recording this. He would have revenge even if it meant the downfall of the Newman legacy.

"I guess we can." Newman quipped in a sultry voice before grabbing hold of the boy's waist and head, then pulling him closer until the two were face to face. "Care to make the first proposition, or should I?" He asked, relaxing his lips so as to prepare for what was coming.

Confidence was key here, much like it was when dealing with any other situation that involved being flirted with and flirting back. Years of experience being a lady's man had taught him only one thing: Politeness, playfulness, suavity and confidence were the key to anybody's heart in varying amounts for each person. Newman took a deeph breath so as to be able to hide the symptoms of him being nervous at the prospect that he'd be entering new territory here. But, he figured, if he could charm a woman, then he could charm a man just as well.

"Glad to hear it." Newman said with a devilishly smug, yet charming smile on his face before leaning his head to the right and passionately locking lips with the boy (Another thing years as a lady's man had given him: Kissing experience). Midway through the kiss, Newman, determined to give the boy the day of his life, slipped his tongue in and went to work from there.

The whole thing lasted about 8 seconds, and Newman had to say... that it was oddly identical to kissing a woman.

"Well..." Newman began as he wiped the saliva off of his lips with a handkerchief. "I'd say we had ourselves a successful trade." He'd say, chuckling to himself. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." He'd tease, following the business motif of their flirting exchange.

He knew the satisfaction on the boy's face would be gratifying, much like how one of his biggest pleasures in life was seeing a satisfied customer, but the look on his face wasn't mere satisfaction, it was delight. Newman couldn't help but smile himself at the boy's clear emotions. Even after multiple years in prison, Newman still had it.

That being said and the exchange having been done, Newman was still lightly conflicted about how easily the kiss came. He had always considered the possibility that at any point in his life, something could, in all technicality, happen that would change his orientation, but he didn't expect anything to actually happen. He still preferred women, but after this he had to say... men weren't half bad.

"Hey..." Douglas called out to the boy before he could leave. He reached into his pocket and grabbed a piece of card, held it between his index and middle finger, and presented it to the boy. If he were to look at it, he'd find that Newman was giving him a special kind of business card that he'd never given to a man before: One that had his cell phone number on it.

"In that case: See you around, Shun." After waving Shun farewell, Douglas would once again focus on properly manning the booth. Selenus, however, had other plans. "I recorded every second of that." He'd comment in a grim, vengeful voice. Newman simply looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a confused smile. "So? What, do you want a cookie?"

"So?!" Selenus would exclaim in shock (again) "You're gonna make it up to me for putting me through this, or I'm giving this to the press!" Newman, in response, would simply grab a cigarette from his pack, before realizing what he was doing and putting it back in his pocket. "Oh you poor, misguided friend of mine." Newman would taunt his robot companion "It wouldn't be the first time I've been involved in a scandal by far. With how liberal the mainstream media is these days, all you'd really be doing is giving me free publicity." Newman was pretty confident that he'd survive such a scandal. His reputation survived public knowledge of him harboring a PT, so this was nothing compared to that.

Hanging his head in resignation, Selenus would stay silent for about a minute before speaking up again. "You're not actually going to answer his calls, are you?" Newman let out his signature smug chuckle and gave Selenus another inquisitive look "You don't know that." The robot dog would roll his hypothetical eyes "I've seen you turn down millions of women. What would Shun have that would incite you to accept his date proposition?"

Putting a hand on Selenus's head, Newman put on that stern lecture voice he only used when he wanted Selenus to take something important from what he was about to say. "For starters, he's not a woman. Putting my money on him might not be the best investiment idea ever, but you know how much of a risk taker I am: NONE of my big profits have ever been good investment ideas." He'd straighten his tie "You can't deny a business proposal until you've seen all the statistics and probabilities."

"Now." He'd interrupt himself. "It's time to get back to business!"