The One Who Runs: (Ready to be graded.)

To be completely and entirely honest, adoptable characters should be characters you planned on using yourself, but had to drop it for a variety of reasons and give people a chance to use it themselves if they wished. Not just make it and drop it in front of everyone while hoping someone might use it.

Also you need one more combat weakness. That's all, I hope.

Fixed.

*Ahem*

By the temporary mod powers bestowed to me by moderator Notre Dame, I shall now grade certain aspects of your character, at your request. First off, I can't help but notice you left in the text for alternate appearance despite him being a cadet. You should probably get rid of that, unless you plan on making him a Terrorist.

Now for my first real concern: You're not really describing anything about his personality. In fact, you went on a mini-history rampage here. Re-write this completely, and don't mention his past, only his behaviour in the present. All you're stating is his motives. Tell me about what he likes and dislikes, how he acts around other people, his mannerisms, all that good stuff. You mention he has a very specific philosophy, but you don't mention what that philosophy is. Keep, however, the mentions of him being dedicated, hard working and always striving to improbe. Go into a little bit more detail about those traits if you can. I'd also like to know more about how he hides his real personality under this mask of charisma. In this case, the more tiny details the better. One thing you might want to do is incorporate personality traits mentioned in his strengths (For example: If his mind is always moving fast like strength #1 says it is, then mention in his personality that he doesn't live in the present, and worries more about the future and/or always having something to do.) And the same goes for how his dream is to motivate people. Add that in here as well.

In terms of history, I see you jumped straight to his life in the immediate time before the Eternal Divide. Take your time and tell me a little about his childhood. You don't have to give me his whole life story, just give me the basic summary rundown. "He was born here and spent his childhood doing this or that and maybe he looked up to this person or had this friend..." stuff like that. Now, in terms of the basic meat of his story, everything seems to be fine, but you should remove the part about joining the cadets. He hasn't joined them yet. And that last part, about his powers catching up to him? Please specify what you mean.

Also, I notice you keep alternating between the spellings "Axel" and "Accel" throughout the app. Pick one, if you please.

Anyways, with that said, I leave the strengths and the other things to Jerry. Moonie out.

The Strengths Check out. But there are three weaknesses which seem to contradict eachother in terms of reasons for being weaknesses. He's a freaking coward, yeah? A yellowbellied coward who ran away in the face of death. Why would he prioritize fighting the demons that are seemingly the cause of his supposed cowardice? Heck, the name of the Coward Strength (just a minor nitpick) seems to suggest he is not only aware of the fact that he's a bloody coward, he accepts it. So why would he get furious over someone calling him out on being a coward? It makes little sense to me.

So, I'm asking you to give me explanations on why these weaknesses are even there.

Personality and background are fine now. Just fix the titel, remove the unneccesarry texts (like alternate appearance and the "Quote, etc" before the quote, and you have my half of the approval.


*1/2 approved*

Alright, this looks fine, but I'd limit the being forced to guard while inflicted with an ailment to either random chance, or to ailments that aren't rage. If he's more susceptible to going into a flying rage, why the heck would he guard if he loses it to insults and other stuff. Just a minor nitpick.

Approved