Morning Light [Mae]

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Tue Apr 12, 2016 11:32 am

''Hm. So you suggest one should decide based on how others would feel? I think that if you're considering such a measure, then what matters most at the point are your own feelings. Would you force yourself to stay alive just because someone else may be sad if you died? Even if it only meant a life of pain for you?'', he'd ask, giving her a wry smile. She had her own point, but one can't always look at how others will react. There are moments when it's justified to be a bit selfish. And not everyone has the luxury of getting rid of whatever is causing their distress. Life can be both great, and cruel. Sadly, you don't always get to pick which side you want to be experiencing, and for how long.

Oh great. Well, this wasn't really all that surprising. She had shown before that she had a hard time moving on and deciding what was it she even wanted. He just hadn't thought it would turn into such a problem. Big enough to cause disturbance like this. This did kind of hurt, but for a different reason. She was trying so hard to keep things going smoothly, but perhaps that was a mistake in itself. He hated taking a stance like but someone had to, and it seemed like it would fall on him. She got herself attached far too easily, and she would likely never say no for real. He'd give her a sad look. ''You say I don't have to, but maybe I actually should....'' Not that it would be easy. ''This isn't about making amends anymore. That will obviously not work properly while you're in the state you are right now. Do you actually think me staying around will help you in letting go? More likely, it'll only make it harder for you to deal with it. You need to focus on figuring out just why is this such an issue for you, but I cannot help you if I'm actually causing it to be worse by being around.'', he would turn his face to the side. ''Unless you're perfectly fine with things like this happening periodically, I suggest you think about this hard. What do you suppose is actually the best for you?'' As much as he didn't like doing this, she had to consider. Did it do her any good to spend time with him when she had such big problems with letting go? This would basically only encourage her to hold onto him in some way.

''Not quite. This is rather different, from what I understand so far....'' They didn't remind him of the Angels at all. There were no wishes this time around. Nor were those guys stuck in one place, waiting to be found. And they weren't here to actually impose some choices onto people, nor to gather plenty allies to serve them. Quite different, in his opinion.

''Heh...'', he would huff lightly. He didn't foresee this as an easy one. She would have to be careful if she didn't want to somehow dig herself even deeper into this, and she definitely needed to learn how to draw a line without always looking back behind herself. At least, not in the way she keeps doing it now. ''Thanks.'', he'd take the glass, staring at the white liquid for a while. Now it was going to be awkward again. But really, could he have expected anything else? Hm...

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:09 pm

"I don't think I could stand the notion, regardless of how terrible my life is, to leave those people I love and care about behind... It would cause them just as much, if not more pain than I would be going through." Mae replied with a sigh. "It's really hard to balance both your own feelings with the feelings of those around you... But I'd never consider taking my own life as a solution." She stopped for a moment, thinking... "If I suddenly took my own life... how would you take that?"

She stayed quiet for a while, letting Sharaku's words sink in for a moment. Her problems had to be sorted out... but... his method of doing so, seeing himself as the source of the issues... while true to an extent, Mae did not really agree with... Taking a short break from eachother wasn't going to solve the problem... Not as things were now... because they might just resurface again when they met up. And being PERMANENTLY separated from Sharaku was a no-go. After some more time spent thinking, she also came to the conclusion that while she was fine with things like this happening... she didn't want the aftermath to occur every time... But one way to deal with a problem was exposure... and that meant keeping this as they were, allowing Mae to learn how to control her emotions that way, and perhaps with enough time, they would cease to be a problem. "...What do you mean, exactly? You touching me? Or the stuff afterwards...? Because... I think I could handle the former. I-I just need to get accustomed to it, that's all!" Her voice was a bit shaky at the start, but it got a bit more confident sounding as she kept on talking... "Now... would you be okay with that...?" She would only agree on it if he did. Otherwise, she would do what he first suggested (as much as she didn't like the prospects of it), hoping it would do her some good in the end...

"Hrm... In what way is it different? Aside from the whole... event thing the angels got going for them." She asked, raising an eyebrow. Well, it's not like they would learn more by theorizing. Asking one of these people would probably be the best way to go about it.

"You're welcome." Mae replied quietly, with a weak smile on her face. At least she could do that... heh. Now, let the awkward silence begin...

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Tue Apr 12, 2016 1:13 pm

Well, let's see....''Then, what is your definition of a terrible life? What do you imagine when one says that?'', he'd ask, somewhat curious about her viewpoint. After all, there is a reason why some people do it regardless. How well could she imagine the hell one can be going through in the first place? He'd tilt his head slightly. ''Well, I wouldn't like that, no. But it depends on whether you'd have an acceptable reason to do it. If no other option had worked....then well, sometimes you just have to respect another person's choices. In the end, it is one's right to make decisions about their own lives, as long as they are aware of what they are doing.'' You don't have to agree, but you also can't always go and force your views on the person. It's not a light matter, but for some people it may really be better than to keep suffering for ages. There can be reasons, like some dangerous sickness that cannot be treated and keeps getting worse, and so on. Not everything is a temporary problem that can be turned around. ''As for balancing...I can't really say much there. It's a bit different for me...'' It wasn't all that straightforward in his case after all.

He'd close his eyes with a soft sigh at her words. ''In general. But getting used to me does what exactly? It'll help you jack squat, if it just ends up happening with someone else later again. Getting accustomed to something isn't the same as dealing with it, I'd say.'' Sure, he had portrayed himself as the problem, because he currently was one, but her issue was a more widespread one. Focusing on handling him wouldn't change all that much. She may just end up having the same problem with someone else in the future. Other than that, great for her, but not so much for him. Did she even have an idea what was it like for him to watch her fuss about things he did? It wasn't particularly pleasant. And it kind of also felt like she was just finding an excuse to stay around him. Why would less meetings be a problem in the first place? Not all friends hung out every moment they could. ''I don't know....'' He seemed conflicted at this point. He didn't really think what she proposed was the best course of action in general, but saying no wouldn't make matters better either.

''Well, why are you assuming them to be similar in the first place? The Angels were deities that came here to test us in a way. These guys have their own agenda for the most part, and we just happened to be the unlucky destination that got caught in their problems. And one of them is probably actually trying to aid the destruction. The Angels were at least all inherently good, even if their ideas didn't have the best practical application. These guys do their job, and there's no saying how much will they care to respond to us.'' It was hard to say. They may, they may not. But considering the situation, they would probably be tricky anyway. You never know if you aren't speaking exactly with the traitor, even if you meet one of them. Perhaps aside from Oki itself, but as a new member, it didn't really know all that much.

He'd shift a bit with a sigh. ''So?'' Was he supposed to just quietly sit here now? Technically, starting a bout of awkward silence isn't going to help it. It only makes the situation weirder.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:19 am

"Honestly... I don't know..." Mae replied slowly, biting her lip lightly. It just wasn't something she could easily think of, since she hadn't been that bad off in her life even once... But there was one thing... "I guess... If I ever lost all those close to me... I dunno how I could keep on living after something like that... but I also doubt I'd actually have the courage to end it all, even if I wanted to..." Seems a bit strange perhaps, but it was really hard imagining yourself in such an extreme situation it was hard to know what she would actually do when faced with such a scenario.

"It is a lot about respect... Yeah." She nodded. "If there's a good enough reason for it, it's true but... I'd look for other options first, before taking it... I mean, ending your own life should really be a last resort..." Some people wouldn't agree with her, but Mae had a feeling most would. Getting into such a situation where death was the only escape, then she could understand it... like say living a life in a hospital bed for the rest of your waking days, with no contact from anyone else aside from your nurse... then maybe...

"Then... I guess it's better if we do indeed take a break..." She said with a deep sigh. "You're going to leave San Malarus today anyway... so... I guess this is as good of a time as any." Well, if anything, he'd have to be careful. "If you're going alone... Please, be careful... If not for your own sake, then for mine... please..."

"Hrm... Well, we won't learn much about them by just speculating... I'll have a look around San Malarus today. I still need to find Maria..." And her search would keep up today. She had been working on that in segments. 3 hours spent searching, followed up by a 1 hour break to check on the kids, before she took off to search for another 2 hours. At least... that was the plan. If she ran into someone or something during this, then all the better. Not only was she looking for Maria, but other survivors as well. This morning, she'd dedicate her search around the Radio Tower, and the areas around the Music Studio.

"Sharaku... there's something I've... been meaning to tell you." She avoided his gaze, and took a sip of her tea. Kayle, realising the gravity of the situation by just looking at Mae, took her glass, and headed for her room. "Yesterday afternoon... I..." Would she really tell him this now? Was it really a good idea? Well, it did sort of concern him, so... "Charles... called me yesterday." He could see the troubled look on her face. Like she was torn and unsure as to what to do... "He said all these really nice things about me, and... he wanted us to get back together." There, she said it. "I know... I should've told you this sooner, but... I just... couldn't..." She took another deep breath. "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm pressured from all manner of directions, and it's getting to me... I... Really don't want to hurt either of you... I never wanted that. But in fear of hurting either of you, I... Guess I ended up doing what I was trying to avoid." It was her own decisions that had gotten her into this mess in the first place, and now, she was taking the consequences. "I know this makes me look really bad, that I won't deny..." Mae felt dirty... rotten. Why did Charles have to call her the day beforehand in the first place? All that phone call did was cause her even more internal struggle... and it made her relation with Sharaku that much worse.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:19 am

Golden eyes would flicker slightly. ''You sure place a lot of importance on others...'' Sometimes, he had a hard time understanding that. Was it because he wasn't all that close to many people to begin with? It wasn't nice when someone died, but in most cases, it didn't affect him as much as that. Then again, maybe it was just because he didn't normally depend on others as long as he didn't have to, which made him bit less concerned over his own wellbeing in case something happened to them. ''But at least you have some brakes. I don't think I'd have a problem with doing it, were I in a situation where I wanted to.'' Did that mean he had a lot of courage? Who knows.

''Perhaps. Although sometimes it's better than some other half-assed options you'd attempt to take first. Too bad we don't really know what happens after we die...'' Is it just a complete nothing? Guess one never knows until they actually die. Not that he really believed in stuff like ghosts, but it was still an interesting thought. For a while, seeing as it had no real answer, and probably never would.

He'd frown lightly. ''Are you just going to stay here the entire time?'' She did sound like it. Which was odd after how she was all for delegating tasks and whatnot back at that fail of a meeting. He would give a slight hmph sound. ''Meh, if I'm to get into trouble, I will either way. I'm most likely going alone for now, but not like that's something new....'' It's not like he had people check in on him very often, so he didn't even really expect it. He wasn't going to interrupt them much if they weren't showing a lot of interest in him in general. That usually just led to some sort of friction.

He'd shrug. ''Never said I'm only speculating. That acquaintance of mine is their new member, and I have met their 'boss' briefly not so long ago. Although, they sure like to be enigmatic.'' There was definitely more to it than was being shown, alas that was something he wouldn't be able to tell yet. One thing he'd say though, is that they were most likely going to be a sort of annoyance along the way, no matter in what form. ''I have no idea who exactly it is you're searching for, but would they just be at some random place at this point? You should probably just ask someone who knows her, or look at specific places where people were hiding out. Although, it's not like San Malarus is even dangerous right now. There's little point in hiding at the moment.'' Why would someone be missing still? With the barrier, it wasn't a big issue to move around anymore. Of course, unless they got killed by the demons before, but he wasn't going to bring that up.

At first, he would raise an eyebrow as she seemed to suddenly bring up a new topic, but his expression would soon change into a rather flat one as she went through her little speech. He wouldn't interrupt her, staying quiet even a while after she had finished. Eventually, he would shift his sitting position a bit, setting the glass beside him as he crossed his arms. ''Bad? Maybe. Although, I'd say it makes you look more unreliable than anything else.'' After all, how can you actually trust in someone's feelings when they can't take a firm stand on them in the first place? He would scoff lightly. ''My suggestion would be to ignore the pressure. Stop just caving in to whatever people say and getting attached to anyone that is acting nice and pleasing towards you. All you're doing is making your feelings seem fake. Like you're always just leaning towards the option that is currently the most accepting, appreciative of you and makes you feel good. If you can't even make a decision after all this time, maybe you should take a step back and think of why is it that way. Instead of flitting back and forth, basically just cheating on each side.'' That's kind of what she did, no? Trying to get with one person, while still not having given up feelings for the other and then just going back to them....and then right back the other way again. Plus, he was pretty sure Charles didn't even know about him yet. Which made it even more sad. That can easily be classified as being a cheater, and god knows most people don't like being played with.

''If you just indecisively go back and forth, you'll always be hurting everyone, and to be honest, I already don't quite trust your real feelings. You need to find out what you really want first, not just get loopy at every opportunity that comes up. You don't have to always give in. So he was nice and what? Does that mean you have to immediately hop on the train and be lovey dovey over him again? I wouldn't say so. Don't be too easy. Take the time to be sure in your feelings and whether that person is worth it before doing something that could potentionally be stupid. Once you go too far, you may not be able to repair what you broke.''

His tone was fairly firm, but it wouldn't be all that easy to tell just how he felt about it right now, aside from the fact that it probably wasn't the best since he was giving her advice on how not to do this. Luckily for her, even if he had a big problem with this, he wouldn't do anything over the top about it. This was kind of her issue, and while it affected him in passing, he didn't have to deal with it if he didn't want to.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Fri Apr 15, 2016 12:29 pm

"Well... yeah. What would life be if you were all alone...?" Boring, and probably not worth living, i her opinion. Humans were social beings, and thus needed contact with others of their kind to feel at peace. And Mae was no different. "We're all different... I guess I just have a lot to live for, really... That's probably what's going to keep me from doing it, even when everything else is lost."

"Some half-assed way...? I'm not sure I follow..." Honestly, one should never look at suicide as ones only option unless everything else had failed, and one truly had given each and every one of those options a whole hearted attempt. That's how Mae thought on the subject anyway. But that's all it was. Her thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Well, I can't leave these kids and my co-workers in harms way, now can I? Sure, the barrier's up, and all that, but... what if it somehow fails? Or someone from the inside tries something? I... have to be ready for anything that might happen..." Sure, she put a perhaps un-necessary shackle on herself with this, but... Mae just couldn't stand the thought of having all these kids die just because she wasn't there to protect them. Her job as a caretaker meant keeping them safe, no matter what the cost. And that was something she took very seriously. "Mhm..." Well, that was unavoidable at this point... wasn't it? Oh well... At least she knew that he could hold his own very well.

"I... guess it does, huh..." Mae replied with an empty stare on her lap. As much as she had wanted to stand up on her own, Mae had found herself to latching onto people way too quickly, even today... What he was saying was true, and it would take some serious thought for her to discard that old behaviour in favor of something new. "You're right... I can't keep doing this..." Well, whenever she saw Charles the next time, she would need to have a long talk with him about all of this... But first, she had to figure out why she couldn't just pick one... Although, now... She kind of had to. And with Sharaku out of the picture, there was really only one option left. Did she have it in her to say no? What did she actually want out of all this...?

"It's just that... I'm not sure if I want to say yes to him... I don't know whether this is him having legit feelings or if it's just him trying to get something he lost back... And... while his words was nice and all... I'm not sure if he really meant it all."

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Fri Apr 15, 2016 1:23 pm

''Who knows.'', he'd shrug lightly. ''But I don't hang out with many people anyway, and there are always new ones you can meet when someone dies. It's not like you're suddenly all alone in that case. Only if you let yourself be.'' It's easy to do that, though, if you're too attached to people you've known well...but still, there are millions of others around. It's not like you're ever completely on your own, even when you think you are or feel like it. Perhaps life would be easier if it were easier to convince yourself that you aren't as alone as it seems....''If you say so. Although, I think it's a minimal influence anyway. It's probably more likely that you'll die of other means before it gets to the point where you'd consider killing yourself. With the conditions we have here, definitely.'' So much ado about how you'd never kill yourself, but you might get killed by something tomorrow instead. That's life for you.

''As in, taking even options that are an almost obvious waste of time just to avoid said last resort.'' There are always some that are pretty much meaningless, even though they are something you could possibly try doing. Point is that going through literally everything you can before resorting to ending it doesn't necessarily have to be all that effective at all.

He would raise an eyebrow. ''And what if nothing special happens? You'll just sit here while everyone else puts their lives on the line? Besides, if you manage to protect San Malarus, while the other islands happen to get demolished, the kids won't have a great life anyway. If we focus only on specific groups of people, can we actually help the entire humanity?'' That, and if she remained here all the time only waiting...well, she would probably not even know what exactly she was defending from. Would people spend precious time on stopping by to report information to her when she doesn't really plan on acting on it outside of her bubble? In the end, it was her choice, but it didn't seem all that viable to him. She could fail protecting them even if she stayed here, in case she got attacked by something powerful and lost, so it's not like it was a failproof strategy to begin with. On the further topics, he'd say nothing as she was obviously not very interested based on the kinds of responses she has been giving him.

He would listen to her with a thin frown before shaking his head somewhat sadly. ''And yet you still are. Does it really all depend on whether his feelings are genuine? Even if they are, that doesn't mean you ought to say yes just because he really likes you. What about your own feelings? Do you truly want him, or are just considering going back to him because it's something already familiar? There are plenty people around that you could try with, instead of getting invested in this emotional rollercoaster over and over again. Besides, he's a robot. Are you even completely sure you would never regret spending all your life with someone who can't give you a lot of things a normal person can? He may resemble a human, and have an ability to process the romantic feelings, but that's kind of where it ends. There's a lot you could think about before you make an actual decision. It's not all just 'does he truly like me?'.''

One side being completely invested doesn't make the cut. She would have to be too, and doesn't loving someone mean accepting them with both the bad and good? She already pushed away before when things didn't go right, and she seemed to have the tendency to start sniffling about when something doesn't work out. But a genuine relationship is about working it out by effort and being able to stand beside your partner even through the bad parts, not just the happy and fluffy moments. If you give up easily and doubt yourself and your feelings towards someone quickly, then perhaps you don't really love that person all that much.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Fri Apr 15, 2016 6:11 pm

"I... Didn't necessarily mean becoming alone by... you know, people dying. I was moreso referring to being secluded from society in other ways." What ways specifically, she didn't really care for. It could be anything really. Things that made Society look at you with a raised eyebrow and say "No, I don't wanna deal with you". Mae nodded. "Yeah... As morbid as it sounds, you're right." Despite the dark subject, Mae managed to squeeze out a light chuckle.

"Ah, that makes more sense." She nodded in response. "And yeah, I guess that's true..." Well, they were obviously different, and not everything worked the same for everyone. It was very much up to the invidual how they handled stuff like this when faced with it.

"...Are you saying I should go out there...?" Mae asked him, before her gaze traveled towards the window... beyond these concrete buildings... should she really leave San Malarus...? Hoping that the barrier would stay intact? "If you put it that way... I guess it's kinda selfish of me to stay, huh...?" her friends were probably out fighting right now. She should be doing the same, god damn it. For the sake of these kids. So they had a home to return to once this catastrophe was all over.

"I..." Mae stopped herself, for a moment, thinking heavily on the subject matter at hand. "It's... too soon to tell. Sure, he's a nice guy and all... but I'm not sure I share his feelings anymore. At least, far from the way he does. He was... ehm... quite verbal about it." Should she even continue on...? "I guess a part of what he said creeped me out a bit too... Like... he seems obsessed all of a sudden. Saying things like "I've fantasized about your beautiful hair." While charming... it feels a bit much for me." That honestly was pushing it. Sure, she had her fantasies about Sharaku too back in the day, but she never talked about them openly for one, and two... even if she did, it would send the wrong signals in the first place. And then there was the whole robot matter. She had said in the past that it didn't matter much to her... but now, when she thought about it further... that meant no kids... none of the things a normal, human relationship had. And even if Mae would most likely adopt a child herself if she never got together with someone, she'd still like to pass on her genes to another generation at some point in the future. It didn't have to be soon, or far away in terms of time... The prospect of having a daughter or son to truly call ones own was something she was... enthralled by.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Fri Apr 15, 2016 7:12 pm

Other ways? That didn't really help, as he wasn't even sure what she actually meant by that. Being stuck inside four walls or something? ''Is that remotely possible? To be completely secluded by the entire society sounds like a grave issue, seeing how big it is. I'd think there are always some people that don't care about a given standard.'' He usually didn't for example. Then again, he himself often didn't fit in, so he wasn't as bothered by some pointless issues, unless it was something personal. ''I guess everyone's going to call me that now....'' He didn't seem very bothered though. He never had a problem with just discussing those so called dark subjects, and it's not like that was about to change now.

He would just tilt his head lightly. ''Does talking about this bother you?'' She didn't seem particularly enthusiastic over it, so he was probably right to an extent, but might as well just ask. It's not like she was giving him much to go on with at the moment anyway, so he'd have to steer the subject on his own right now.

''I'm just saying that I personally think it might be more beneficial in the long run. The choice is yours though. To me, it feels like such a narrow focus doesn't really give a higher chance either way. You could stay here and happen to lose to a threat that comes up, failing what you hope to accomplish anyway. Besides, no one's saying you'd be leaving forever, although I am not sure just how that barrier really works when it comes to passing through it.'' In the end, he was just saying. He'd probably go his own way regardless of what she chose to do on her end, unless she'd want to follow after him, but based on what she said so far, he found that unlikely. He would shrug lightly. ''I guess it can sound that way. But I'm not going to say selfishness is always a bad thing, so the decision is yours.'' At times, it might even be better to focus on your own goals instead of sacrificing yourself for everyone, so he couldn't go and bash on it, really.

He'd listen, blinking a few times before just giving a huff. ''Well, I don't know about you, but I find nothing charming about that. Not when you aren't in a serious enough relationship yet or at least agreed that such displays are okay. Either way, to me it sounds like he doesn't have a good filter on his emotions. If he's indeed obsessed with you, then I'd be careful with him. I honestly don't know how his kind really works though. Not when it comes to relationships like these, as they aren't made with that in mind to begin with.'' He had his own moments of being emotional and whantnot, but he still had enough self-awareness to not blurt out something as creepy as that, even if he were actually thinking about it. Definitely not when he was serious about that person. Most people would likely find that decently off-putting, unless they like being idolized like that by someone they aren't even properly dating at the moment. ''Regardless, you shouldn't really be relying on my opinion too much. I am not you, and I can't tell you what you really want. You have to figure that out yourself. Everyone has different needs when it comes to a romantic partner. I for one, wouldn't even really consider him if he acted this way, on top of what he had done in the past. That's just me, though.'' He could talk all he wanted, but she had to fight the issue on her own.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Sat Apr 16, 2016 2:23 pm

"Not necessarily being shut away physically. I mean... think of it this way. What if society hated you for what you were? Think Racism... or something along those lines... getting to a point where society looks at you as something hideous." Mae tried the best to explain it. Sure, being physically isolated was prolly even more severe, but that was pretty much impossible in today's society, given the popularity of things like Social Media and the like. Mae often found herself using Twitter quite a bit when she was bored. "Hey... I wasn't calling you morbid, now did I?" Mae replied, flicking his nose lightly with her left index finger.

"To be honest... yeah. I'm not too comfortable talking about things like suicide..." Mae said quietly. It made her uncomfortable. Especially considering they had brushed upon Sharaku's thoughts on the matter... how little weight he put onto his own life was distressing to a degree.

"I... I'll give it some thought... What you're saying does make sense..." Yeah. She'd consider that option for now. Hopefully the staff here could hold the fort for a while. Besides, she couldn't really just let everyone of her friends do all the fighting, now could she? Mae was a capable persona user in her own right, so sitting here, rolling her thumbs was a waste of that. Surely Qilin and Tenryū would agree with that. But for now, she'd give it a little bit of time before she made a final decision. She'd give him a weak smile in response to his words about her being selfish. "Thanks..." It made her feel slightly better about having stayed behind the barrier all this time.

"Mhm... It just feels awkward and weird..." Mae bit herself in the lip lightly. "I dunno when I'll see him next, but when we do... we're gonna have a long talk about all this..." Or not, depending on how he took what Mae had to say. He did mention loving her even if she would reject him... so what she'd do about that, the pinkette had no clue. All this oozed trouble. "Don't worry, Sharaku. I'll form my own opinion once the time comes. I have to see his side of things too, before I make a proper decision..." Of course. Mae would at least give him a chance to explain himself... why he had pushed her away earlier, and now was all huggy-lovey suddenly. He got his chance earlier... why didn't he take it then? If he had, then this whole mess wouldn't have been a problem to begin with, now would it?

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Sat Apr 16, 2016 5:50 pm

He would give her a somewhat questioning look. ''I don't think my answer changes much with that. The society is hardly one unified mass. Not everyone will hate you for who you are. Some may, but even if the majority does, there will always be those that don't care as much. Besides, if they think they can just hate you for no serious reason, then you can go and prove them wrong. Having prejudices against a person doesn't make you better than them.'', he'd huff faintly. ''I think racism is stupid anyway. How does a different color make you a worse person, I don't know. The lack of any meaningful logic in that is rather baffling.'' He could understand slight judging based on a person's appearance style perhaps, but not when it comes to the parts that you can't control. It's not like you can make everything about yourself be the way you want it to. He'd scrunch his nose lightly at the touch. ''Well, you called what I'm talking about morbid. Seeing as I was the one saying that, I'd guess it does apply to me in a way.'' No? He was the one keeping that topic afloat after all.

''...well, it happens a lot anyway. I wonder what is the meaning of life if so many people actually consider dying instead.''

He seemed to be in thought about something for the moment. Regardless, she didn't really have to continue that talk if she didn't want to, although he'd say that not talking about it doesn't make it dissapear. A lot of people do kill themselves, no matter how uncomfortable the subject is. What does it say about the world and society if this keeps happening?

''As you wish. I can't make you do anything, and we'll be parting anyway. I doubt you'd follow the same path I will.'' They might meet up again, but he wasn't sure how often would that happen during this situation. They didn't work together last time either, but it was also a little different from this. ''I guess you're welcome...'' He didn't plan on passing much judgement over that in the end. If she wanted to make some change, she'd have to do it herself either way.

He would frown lightly. So wait, he told her that stuff, and didn't even try to meet her? ''...you don't know when. What kind of a guy is he? Telling you he fantasizes about you, but isn't even trying to have a proper talk with you about it. He should be putting in some effort too, unless he thinks things fix by themselves, which is somewhat childish. I'm pretty sure just confessing like that doesn't make the cut in a relationship.'' Honestly, that was kind off...not very nice? She already had her indecision problems to work out, and Charles was hardly being helpful by being skittish and not pulling through with his own stuff. You don't just fling something like that at a person and then leave it be indefinitely. Hello? At least trying to be more thoughful and considerate wouldn't hurt. Avoiding that can easily ruin things. He knew that well enough...

''Anyhow, as long as you don't base your decision too much off of what he says....After all, you have to consider yourself in the picture as well.'', he would shrug slightly. It was her call, but he still stood on his opinion that she shouldn't just be waiting for what he'll say next. By now, she should already have a basic idea of how he acts, and if she can't start making an opinon yet, will that help her any? ''Though, if you're not sure now, will you ever? If whatever you feel for him was actually love or going in that direction at least, would you bounce around and hesitate on things as much as this even after knowing him for a good while already?'' Love maybe takes time, but this just seemed off somehow. At least, to him. If this is how fallings out and conflicts between the two go now, what about in an actual relationship? Would she be willing to go through periods of this anytime something arises?

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Sun Apr 17, 2016 10:29 am

"Well, yeah... but what are the chances of you actually meeting those people?" Mae asked again, with a light shrug. "I mean, you're probably right, honestly." It all really depended on which society you lived in. Because some socitieties could get really judgmental in certain areas. Just look at Homosexual Marriage. That was hardly accepted everywhere... and in those few places where it was allowed, some people just frowned upon the idea anyway. Mae was all for it though. Everyone should have the same rights regardless of who you are and what you believe in.

"Oh... well..." Mae fell silent. She honestly didn't know how to respond to that. So she just let it be for now. "I dunno... it's a sad world we're living in, I can tell you that much..." People just needed to look on the bright side of things a bit more. But it was hard when everything else around one was utter chaos, and just bad things in general. "...All the more reason to have good friends, no? A group of people that will always stand by your side, no matter what happens." Not necessarily always being around them physically. It was more of a... social thing, in a way. Like, knowing that no matter what, your friends will be there to support you emotionally when the times get tough. Just like how Sharaku and Mae had supported eachother over time.

Yeah. In the end, it was her choice... And as he said, Mae would probably not be going the same path as he did... unless fate had other plans in mind. There wasn't much else to say about it, really.

"Well... Considering the circumstances... with what's going on here, and what not, I can't say I didn't expect him to have something planned. The way I caught on was... probably un-intended. Before he told me all that stuff, he was talking to Jack... and by the time I picked up, he mentioned something about just that very thing... I asked him to elaborate, and well... the rest you know." But Sharaku did indeed have a point. Charles should've at least made an effort to at least plan something. But no... all he did was blurt out a bunch of very flattering, yet somewhat creepy, words before hanging up. Maybe he had gotten so flustered about all that to the point where he couldn't talk with her anymore. In which case, yes, that's a very normal reaction.

"Of course I will." She needed to know herself if she did indeed share his feelings on the matter. "Well... given that he isn't human, this is all so... odd and baffling to me. Sure, he confessed before, and back then I accepted it... Probably moreso out of sheer... shock? Maybe? And then I just grew accustomed to it, I guess. And what's even stranger is that he's... and I use these words very loosely, "sexually attracted" to me... A robot with those kinds of feelings... I don't know if I'll be able to handle that." She bit herself on the lip lightly. Why was this happening now of all times? Couldn't it have waited until... you know, the threat to Azores was dealt with?

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Sun Apr 17, 2016 11:17 am

''If you look hard enough, you can usually find what you seek.'' Even if it meant moving away from a place, as annoying as it is to be forced to actually go as far as taking such measures just to live a normal life. In today's world though, you either help yourself, or get kicked down by the opposition. You can't expect to get good things by not doing anything to further that goal yourself, and sometimes it gets taken to the extreme. Which is sad, but what can one really do...? On your own, you can't change how people view things. Not at such a broad scale.

''Maybe....assuming you can actually trust every friend you make to be there when you really need them instead of just talking about it when the times are peaceful.'' People come and go, and sometimes even someone you though of as a good friend would leave you in the dust during a hard time. So many of them bark but don't actually bite. It's one thing to talk about how you'll always help, and another to prove that you truly won't chicken out once the time comes. Most people couldn't handle him well, so he tended to be slightly skeptical when it came to relying on others' help. It often ended in a mess that was bigger than the one beforehand. ''In the end, you can never fully tell who you are dealing with, and a friend could easily turn out to be a traitor. Not that it always happens, but there are many different kinds....'' It made it harder to decide who to really trust in the end.

Still not much smarter at all. He would roll his eyes slightly. ''No offense, but if he didn't want something like that to happen, then he shouldn't have been rambling about things while calling you. Surely he isn't dumb enough to not consider that you could pick it up at any time.'' If so...then who's problem it really was? ''..as for that...well, even if he was taken by surprise so badly, it has been a while since then already, yes? He should have calmed down since then, and if he's serious about working it out, then he ought to at least let you know. That's a polite thing to do, since he already put you in such a situation due to his flailing around.'' You can do that much when you mess something up.

He would sigh lightly as he gave her a look. ''You aren't weak, are you? What are you afraid of? Even if he does feel 'that', being a robot, he can't quite act on it for real beyond the most basic things. If this is how you feel, then tell him to his face, or at least make a stand somehow in case you can't meet him personally. He ought to know there are some boundaries to one's behavior, and he won't learn anything when people just dance around him, passing over his mishaps in hopes that they'll clear up on their own. Don't do anything, and he'll think all this is completely okay. Sometimes you have to be firm in your approach. That is, if you're truly determined to make something work out here. Maybe you don't need to just 'handle' it, but actually deal with it head on.'' If she wasn't comfortable with it now, she never would. Thus, she had to get it through the guy's thick skull first. Then consider any further steps. The more leeway she gave him, the more he'd do whatever. Not even humans always realized on their own, and being a robot made it only worse. In case she wasn't willing to assert herself more, then it was probably pointless of her to try with him.

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:03 am

"That I think we can both agree on. As they say... "Where there's a will, there's a way..." It's remarkable how true that saying is, even in today's society." And that was a really inspirational one at that for Mae. It told her to keep going, and she would eventually, with enough effort and dedication, she could get anything she wanted.

"Mhm... Well, take me for a fool if you want, but I'd rather trust people than doubting them..." That's just who she was. Casting doubt on others without a solid reason just didn't make sense to her. "Mhm... I doubt any of my friends that I know today would betray my trust though..." Then again, she could be wrong. But she wouldn't get anywhere doubting her friends now.

"Y-Yeah..." All she could really hope right now was that nothing had happened to the android. "...What if something has happened to him...?" Lover or not, Mae was still concerned, damn it. He was a friend, much like Sharaku, Jack and everyone else she had met on these islands. And nothing would change that fact right now. "Well, yeah... that was a little bit silly..." That she knew very well. Not that it changed the situation much for her. Silly or not, it had put her in a very awkward situation.

Sharaku's words gave Mae some confidence. "Yeah. I'll have to be straight with him." Her expression was determined... Not that she had an answer for Charles already, but damn it, she'd have one for him once they saw eachother again. He owed him at least that much after he had poured out everything for her. She didn't want to take the cowards way out. Not anymore. "...I'm going to go look for him..." She stood up, looking out the window. He was out there somewhere... and Mae knew that Charles was rarely one to look for her if he was embarrased. As awkward as their meeting would be, she'd look for him. Wherever he was.

Charles deserved to know...

Subject: Re: Morning Light [Mae] Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:57 pm

''Maybe. Sometimes the requirements are downright ridiculous though.'' The fact that it applied was great, but when finding said way made you do things that weren't even completely worth the final result, then it wasn't all that effective. Today's society could really have outstanding demands for certain accomplishments to get properly done.

He would shrug a bit. ''I never said I don't trust anyone. I just don't like handing it out like free souvenirs. I think that trust should also be earned, not just blindly given all around.'' Honestly, it was something in between. It wasn't that he literally doubted the people he met, but he did take some of their words with a grain of salt until he felt like he could just trust them without considering the possibility that something is off about their words and actions. ''I wish I could have that much faith in humans in general.'', he'd comment with a faint sigh. It depended on the given situation, but either way, no matter how close you were to a person, there could always be something that might tempt them to trick you. Plus, his relationships with people have never been very smooth, and that didn't contribute to his idea of trust all that much. As it was, he was fairly open-minded, but he would watch his back still.

''You mentioned he was with Jack, no? I doubt those two would get themselves hurt very easily. Doing something dumb, maybe, but I'd like to think they aren't as weak as twigs.'' He didn't know about Charles, but the guy was a robot, if nothing else. And he has seen Jack fight before, so he had an idea about that one. The one thing he'd be worried about in regards to this particular duo is the amount of silly behaviour. They'd probably get themselves in trouble for that first. ''Only a little bit?'' She sure had some tolerance. Or maybe she just didn't know how to actually be harder on people.

''Good luck then...'', he'd mumble lightly as he shifted a bit, wrapping his arms around his knees. There was not much more for him to say, was there? Technically, he kind of disapproved of Mae going in circles with her dating life, but it's not like he could tell her what to do. It didn't quite matter for him in the end. It was the same with anyone, really. If she wanted to spend her time chasing after Charles then so be it...

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