In Memoriam [Shunnosuke's Epilogue, sort of]

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

It took Shunnosuke a while, but he did it. He found what happened to Hyde's body, the place he was buried... It all still seemed like a dream, a bad lucid dream, to which Shunnosuke couldn't wake up, no matter how much he tried. The memories from he revelation never left his mind, and somehow they seemed blurry, fuzzy, indeed like a dream. Was it due to the vision disturbed by the everflowing tears, he wondered? Shunnosuke never got the answers to his questions, he never got to see Hyde's face again... He was very much accepting the fact he wouldn't come back, no matter how much the teenager pleaded to Heavens, to Philemon, to Israfel, Gonea, or whatever entity out there willing to listen. There was no entity at all. When it comes down to the real deal, Personas can't do anything, that's the truth. His alliance with Israfel, his pursuit for power to be able to do the unthinkable... In the end, it was also fruitless, he knew very well. The cycle of life is such a strange force that no magical powers, no supernatural persona abilities, no surname's influence can beat. He learned that the hard way.

He was a mere human, just like everybody else, no matter how rich, influent and charming he could be.

But there was one thing Shunnosuke could do, regardless of his impotency against life. He was still a Kurosawa, and a Kurosawa always gets what he wants. With a few connections and a few research here and there, the family managed to retrieve the coffin from the cemetery he was buried. And he did it alone. No help from Grandfather; he never really cared to Shunnosuke himself, even less to a second outcast to his home. No help from Grandmother; always a shadow of her husband, bowing down to his every command. No help from Mrs. Eriko and Mr. Leighton; the lady did feel sympathy for Shunnosuke's grieve, and to an extent Hyde's enthusiasm managed to infect her boring life, as well as brighten up Leighton's days as the son he never had. Shunnosuke could be jealous, and he had all rights to be...but it was good. His father deserved someone to be proud of, even if that someone wasn't his own legitimate son. It didn't matter much, because it's not even about Shunnosuke anymore. He wasn't doing this for himself... Or maybe not entirely. Admittedly, part of him wanted to do this for himself. Hyde was HIS friend, HIS best friend, and even more than that. He made a vow he wouldn't let the guy die somewhere without him. The least he can do is fulfill part of his vow, the part that's still achievable. Whoever dared to bury him without his permission could face the consequences of it later, the main issue in hands is: the redhead wouldn't be buried in a low-class cemetery as an indigent. That's an insult to the Kurosawas and to Hyde himself, that someone was so stupid to not consider something that was very clear to the Kurosawas: that Hyde had...

[...]

The funeral happened on a very cloudy, gray weekend. Shunnosuke didn't cry anymore, not in front of others. The breakdown from the day they confronted Mother Gonea was the first and the last time someone would see the blonde in such a vulnerable state. Crying is not a weakness, but he would never allow anyone to see him that way ever again. He had enough.

Whatever the way, Shunnosuke arranged everything on his own to make the occasion memorable, as much as any Kurosawa would have after they passed away. One quality of his is to really set up big events and turn them into memorable, majestic arrangements. It wouldn't be different this time, and likely that was a part of him that wanted to prepare this for himself: he was never the type to be content with less than the best. What was supposed to be a funeral seemed and sounded like a bright parade, matching the former Wild Card's cheerful disposition and sunshine personality. The sun itself was nowhere to be seen this afternoon... As if nature itself was mourning their loss as much as the teenager.

"We're here united today...", the clerk intonated. The cemetery chosen for the occasion was as pompous as the name would indicate: Elysian Fields. Bright, green grass extending to as long as the sight would reach making a morbid contrast with the abundance of the cold black, making everyone wonder if the souls of the deceased went to such a pretty place for their eternal rest. Where would Hyde's soul be right now, Shun asked himself. More questions that would be left unanswered. The clerk's speech, with the sound of loud yet serene trumpets as backgrounds, as well as a whole orchestra group, announced to everyone who would step by that Heavens received another angel. Any bystander would be invited to join if they wanted to; who wouldn't? It's a big event hosted by one of the most prominent families in Penecia. While a little agglomerate formed around Hyde's coffin, including Shunnosuke's relatives, the boy itself was nowhere close to them. He was a bit distant, behind some trees that would make it hard, yet not impossible, for the guests to spot him, even though he was the one to orchestrate everything.

Point is, he didn't need to be there. He knew what the clerk would say, with all his meticulous words, alluring to the ears of those who visited the place enchanted by the grandiosity of the event. Even though he hired this clerk, he knew those words were nowhere as close, as intimate, as significant as the one he's been helding deep down in his heart. The one he had been keeping locked forever.

— ...You know, I met the girls we used to study with the other day. I didn't tell them, though. They don't have to know... It wasn't supposed to happen, anyway, but we met by chance when we were at the mall. They were staring at some store's showcase. Checking their makeup and such. — He snickered a bit at how silly it was, sitting down in the grass, leaning his back against the trunk. — ...Remember when you told me that I should give them advice to help them find their inner beauty or something like that...? I...did that. They were surprised I decided to give them the time of the day, I could say they were a bit scared...but in the end, all went well and they became happy. We said we'd hang out together another day and I'd assist them with the makeup. — In his hand, one little box Shunnosuke had been keeping deep down, in a long forgotten part of his extensive closet. A box he decided to take off for a walk this day. — You probably don't remember that...but I do. — His fingers rubbed the box's surface slowly, eyes flickering showing some hidden emotion inside. — I should be angry with you. You had no right to do what you did, without telling me, without saying goodbye... How dare you... But...in the end, we're no different. You didn't know, but I also planned to leave once this all was over. — He bit his lip this time, thinking of a way to continue talking in a tone that only he and Hyde, wherever he was, would listen. — ...I intended to move out with my father. You know how he never adjusted to our family, so I convinced him to divorce. And I'd go with him, to make him company. He's just like you, an "outcast". And I guess I have a penchant for sticking to the outcast's side... — A sad chuckle twisted his lips upward for a moment before returning to the mellow, mourning expression. — You know... When I was dumped by Sharaku, he asked me if he was the only reason I could find to stay in Azores instead of going with Dad back to England. Back then, I thought so... I wanted him to need me, I wanted it so bad that nothing else really mattered to me back then. — His fingers would slowly open the box in his lap, albeit stopping along the way. Thoughts running as fast in his mind as he tried to hold them. — ...He criticized me for it. And he was right. He had always been. In the end, I wouldn't go with Dad if that meant leaving you behind... — A moment of silence, a small pause. — I was selfish and blind by it, but... You were always there. When I came back that day, after he was so harsh to me, the first one I found right after was you. The only one I wanted to see...was you. And you were right there. I knew you would stand by me, and stay by my side no matter what. You were also the only one who noticed I changed my hair that day... — A silly smile would come up, as silly as sad. — ...I really wanted to leave everything behind and ignore all this crap, but... You were a reason for me to stay, right in front of my eyes. And now you aren't here anymore... — One drop. Two drops. The box's cover was starting to get wet again, and Shun didn't want that. He quickly rubbed the tears away and finally opened the square box, revealing...a cape. No real cape, but his cape. The cape from when he first met Hyde, the cape the redhead was awarded with by his former deceased friend. The cape Shunnosuke was awarded with by his former deceased friend. His fingers squeezed the fabric, as if recognizing it, feeling it. The smell...it never faded away. It was the same smell from him. Did he ever wash that cape, he wondered? It didn't matter. It was probably better this way. — ...Why did you do that? Why did you exchange me for the world, Hyde...? How could you do that when you knew how much I...

Another moment of silence. A deep moment of silence where Shunnosuke brought the cape close to his face, burying his nose on it...closing his eyes... Images forming in front of them...

— No, that's not what I want to say. I won't be mad at you. You probably did what you had to, and probably did it for me as well. You were always like this, jumping to the danger without thinking about the consequences while I had to pull you back to reality. You're the muscles, I'm the brain. In a sense, it was good for you that I wasn't there to prevent you from committing the most stupid thing in your life. I know you very well to know that you'd be frustrated if I tried to. — This was getting harder the more it passed. — ...You never knew this, but you are the reason why I sticked to the end. You are the one who truly made me feel appreciated and desired when no one else would. I feel ridiculous to think that you're the one who prevented me from committing a major mistake... Remember the Silent Festival? Yes... I wasn't really willing to do it, but I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind. If you haven't showed up, I... — "I could have killed myself"? — ...Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had looked to you differently since the beginning. You know what I mean, don't you? And the moment after I realize that... — He gulped hard, opening his mouth to say something... Something that scared him to admit, something that he has realized for a while, and that haunted him and would keep haunting for the rest of his life. — ...it doesn't matter anymore. Time doesn't come back. You're not here.... You're gone. What I could have done for you, I should have done it while you were still here. "While your lips are still red". And I didn't... Not a day goes by without me hating myself for losing my chance. I lost Sharaku, and now I lost you too... — His voice gradually got hoarse, weak, cracking, spaced between syllables. Was he sobbing? Would the others listen? — ...I've always admired you. You loved everyone too much, you gave yourself too much. You were always true, you were always so good it made me envious and sometimes angry at you... But I also admired you so much I wanted... — The phrase would be left incomplete. "A word to the wise is enough", they say. — I promised myself that I'll be different. Now I promise this to you too. I'll live my life as I want, just like you lived yours to the fullest. I'll value what I have next to me. I'll value who I have next... I'll cherish every moment I can, because it's one time only. You taught me that. When I joined you to save Azores, I remember I acted like you needed me, like you loved me so much. And over time I realized...it's the other way around... — His arms embraced the cape, as if he was embracing Hyde for the last time. By this point, tears were flowing out of his control, wetting the fabric. Shun knew, but did he care about it? — ...if you ever come back...your room is there. It's the same since the day you left. The same mess, as if a tornado had walked in there. — A short laugh amidst a long cry. — ...And if you don't...one day we'll meet again. Just wait, alright? Please...wait...

A bit away from there, the clerk kept his fiery speech about all of Hyde's virtues, followed by Leighton and even Eriko made herself heard. Somehow, the redhead was able to touch the lives of most of the Kurosawas. His presence definitely made life fun, worth living. And his absence somehow made the world too much of a burden to carry, a place too heavy to live at. In his gravestone, a single sentence:

"Hyde Mizumi Kurosawa.
Your home awaits, and your family will forever miss you."

Hyde always wanted a family and Shunnosuke never understood why it meant so much to him. Until recently, he still wouldn't get the fuss the redhead had over being part of one. But...whether the redhead knew it or not, he had one. For a short while, perhaps, but he was part of it. And for the rest of eternity, he would be one Kurosawa.

*

» A Different Sort of Customer (Jack)
» Knights of Arcadia! ... sort of... ( for 8D )
» It sort of looks like history (Sharaku and Rinna)
» A Different Sort of Hunter (Gran-Chan)
» In Mei Memoriam [Cyrus Abaddon/Kira Kira :: Flashback]