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| Only Time Will Tell | |
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Author | Message |
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Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Only Time Will Tell Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:21 am | |
| - OoC Note:
This thread could be taken as a solo, but I figured it could make for a Social Link too. It's meant to be a sort of foreshadowing for things that will happen once part 2 rolls by. If anyone wants to join, I have some requirements though. 1. Only one person. 2. I want someone that I know ICly well enough. Aka at least several threads in the past. (won't measure by S.L. rank, cause that can be deceiving) Not people that are still more strangers than anything else. 3. I want this to get done, so please, only if you can post actively.
Thanks ~ This…
….was really starting to get…
...out of hand… ___________
‘’It’s starting to get late, isn’t it…..?’’
‘’Is that what you should be caring about now?’’
Logically, no, he shouldn’t. But it was a fact that it was probably nearing midnight by now. At least, it could be assumed from the dark color of the sky. Even though with the current foggy conditions it was sometimes hard to tell for sure. The Shadow was right, however. The time of day was the smallest problem in the world right now. Yet, distractions are always welcome, are they not? As much as they cannot change what is. Or better said, what will be. Actually, perhaps just make it both.
Sharaku laughed under his breath in a slightly raspy voice as he sat on a swing in one of the parks of Penecia. Life can be ironic indeed. The way things were going….They were definitely far from what he expected. Yet, maybe he should have at least suspected something like this was a possibility.
‘’Why now…?’’
‘’You should know that already. Afterall, we are…’’
‘’You needn’t remind me of that.’’
A somewhat exasperated snort could be heard. Oh sure, he knew that well enough. He just wasn’t sure how much he wanted this to actually happen. It would make life harder, that much he could guess already. Then again, when has his life been extra easy to begin with? But he didn’t come here to reminiscence old memories. That was quite useless in this situation. Analyzing the past wouldn’t change the future, not in this case.
‘’On the bright side, maybe I won’t really have to deal with it.’’
‘’You won’t die.’’
‘’Depends on what I…’’
‘’We both know you wouldn’t choose that path.’’
‘’You could at least entertain the joke.’’
‘’I see no audience.’’
‘’That is not the poin-’’
The sentence would be interrupted with a low coughing fit. So much for a comeback. It didn’t really matter, however. Frankly, it was just pointless banter right now. It’s not like they truly needed to talk aloud. It was only a somewhat amusing way to pass time. Although, this would probably seem creepy in case anyone happened to pass by. He was technically talking to himself from the view of a casual person.
A slight frown etched on his face, he would force himself to stand up from his current seating. Only to end up stumbling and flopping down on the grass. Golden eyes flickered, glowing in the darkness slightly, showing some sort of annoyance at the moment.
‘’Having fun..?’’‘’No.’’ | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:53 am | |
| Only Time Will Tell A rather cold wind swept by Mae as she was walking the streets of Penecia, thinking things over... A lot of things had happened to her over the months of August and the beginning of September, it was enough for anyone to feel bewildered by it all. She tried sorting things out by taking this walk through the empty streets of Penecia... The club had been completely wasted by someone not too long ago, so the activity on the streets was pretty minimal, not counting in the strange weather conditions as a factor. People were scared, that much was obvious... But that just so happened to be perfect for Mae's situation right now... - Shouldn't you be sleeping, Mae? - Qilin's voice echoed through Mae's head. // I know... it's getting late... and yet, I have so much stuff on my mind that I can't exactly go to sleep either... I'm just trying to get my thoughts sorted out... // Gonea's loving message hadn't made things any better either... The mother's love and care for humanity was crystal clear and pure... She only wanted the best for them... And by that, she gave them a choice... A choice that was too much for those with the potential to make on their own... Rin's problems still troubled Mae as well... If her thoughts wasn't on Gonea, Rin was constantly in her thoughts. Considering what Mae had seen that day, and what Rin had gone through, it was understandable that she was worried out of her mind... Sure, she believed in Rin... Believed that she would find the strength to come back like she used to be... But who knows how long that process might take... And whatever Mae did, nothing seemed to help... She had never felt so... powerless before... She only wanted Rin to smile again, like she used to. Seeing her in this state hurt the red-head quite a bit, and the pain was magnified tenfold by the fact that she couldn't do anything to help her friend out... And then there was Charles... He had come back into her life not too long ago, which she was happy for. The way their issues resolved couldn't have been better... And yet there was this... sense of hesitation and regret she felt from Charles which the girl didn't understand... What was he so hung up on? Breaking the news to Sharaku wouldn't be easy, but she would have to do it eventually, no? Finally, there was her own position in all this... Her lack of strength while others clearly showed their own capacity was... discouraging... She wasn't strong enough herself to fight for her own beliefs or friends... She didn't have the strength to stand alongside Jack and fight whatever horrors awaited them next... She felt... useless... Was she even a Ranger anymore? Honestly, she couldn't tell. Jack sure had told her that she still was one of them... But... Mae had her doubts. Sure, she was loyal to her friend, without a doubt... but was she fighting alongside them now? No... So would she qualify for her position on the team anymore? All these thoughts swirled around in Mae's head. Gonea, Jack, Charles, Rin and Sharaku... All of them had touched the very core of her being, and changed it dramatically over the course of time... Mae certainly wasn't the same girl that had arrived on Azores back in January... Mae suddenly froze in place when she heard a voice that sounded awfully familiar to her... What was he doing here?! Out of all the people she didn't want to see right now, it was Sharaku... But... something was troubling him too, it would seem... She listened in on what he had to say, hiding from sight... When he was finished, she would get out of her hiding spot, and ask: " Something wrong, Sharaku?"
Last edited by Jerry-kun on Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:06 am; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Fri Oct 09, 2015 7:28 am | |
| Sharaku stayed sitting on the ground at first, sort of scowling at a random point ahead. He seemed to be thinking about something, although he would stop soon enough, looking around with a somewhat displeased expression. For what reason was a mystery at the moment, and he didn't bother doing more than that. Not before he was interrupted by one pinkhaired girl.
''.............'' His eyes were a bit narrowed as he gazed towards her. Apparently, he wasn't extremely happy about this. Even if it wasn't for that, the fact that she was asking made it obvious enough that she must have listened at least for a while. Otherwise, it would make no sense to assume something was wrong just because he was here. Either that, or someone needs to greatly cut down on worrying about everything and anything.
''Why would you assume something is wrong?'', he'd ask in a somewhat rough tone, glaring at her a little. He had never been a fan of people poking into his stuff for no real reason, and right now, his mood was a bit more volatile than normal anyway. | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Fri Oct 09, 2015 7:41 am | |
| Mae looked away when Sharaku narrowed his eyes on her... It wasn't right of her to eavesdrop on him like that, and She felt guilty for it... "I'm sorry, Sharaku... I heard everything... I know it's wrong of me, and I really shouldn't... But..." She then fell silent, looking down on her own boots... "I just couldn't stop... I was concerned, and I still am..." Well, combine that with how she was feeling at the moment... Well, perhaps she would feel a bit better by hearing out Sharaku first... Assuming he wanted to tell her that is... The silence that followed was awkward... Now wasn't the time to tell him about Charles... That would only worsen the situation... If Sharaku would give her the cold shoulder after this, Mae didn't blame him... She had done something she probably shouldn't have done...
"..." | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Fri Oct 09, 2015 4:20 pm | |
| Tsk. He would never understand this. What was it with some people and trying to help at all cost? Sometimes it's the last thing a person wants. There's a line between healthy worry about people once in a while, and being actually annoying with it. Maybe he wouldn't care as much otherwise, but she basically even admitted that she had been listening on him beforehand. That's rather rude, even if you say you're doing it out of concern. ''Maybe you shouldn't have. Regardless of why, it's quite rude to listen on people. Not everyone enjoys being spied on, doubly so if it's something they'd rather keep to themselves.'', he'd state, his tone obviously not very pleased.''Too much concern will be your downfall one day. If you make a fuss about everything and anything, you will only end up annoying people to no end. You're not everyone's mom that needs to take care of them.'' Maybe his words were a bit harsh, but he wasn't really in the mood to play very nice. She should have considered the consequences if she did not want something like this. You don't 'spy' on someone and then act like you should solve their problems because of it. And apologies aren't the solution to every mess up either.
He would proceed to pick himself up off the ground, seemingly intending to walk over to her for some reason. However, he would end up simply staying on the spot, slightly bent over. He wasn't completely okay, no, but with the difference that he knew this wouldn't be a problem in the long run. Well, a big problem, that is. He would snort lightly, which only prompted an impromptu coughing fit. And it seemed that he was coughing up..blood? Well, this sure wouldn't help the current situation, but he still didn't intend on letting her meddle in his business too much. Afterall, he did not ask her to. He would get it under control quickly enough, straightening up, though one could hear another voice snickering faintly. Guess the Shadow was amused by this whole scene. Sharaku would just roll his eyes, not impressed.
He would look over to Mae, not moving right now. There was a thin trickle of red dripping down his chin, but he didn't appear to be bothered. As a matter of fact, his expression showed only various degrees of irritation, rather than any pain.
''I think you should consider that people may not be keen on wanting your concern all the time.'' | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Fri Oct 09, 2015 9:55 pm | |
| "..." Mae remained silent, keeping her gaze firmly locked on the ground... He was right... She didn't need to go out of her way to try and help... And she knew that too much of her poking would end up being bad for her at some point... "I'm sorry..." It was all she could say... What more could she do? It wasn't like walking away was a solution either... Not like this anyway. She would have to swallow every word Sharaku said, regardless of how harsh they were... His intention wasn't perhaps to make her feel worse than she already did, but... well, it had that effect on her regardless.
Was that blood? Mae looked up when he started coughing, and make no mistake, she saw the unmistakable red liquid that was now dripping from his chin... He was NOT healthy in the slightest... "Uhm..." Was the only thing she managed to say... Obviously this worried her, but... She couldn't poke much further... Unless this grew out of hand that is... She didn't want him to dislike her more than he already did at the moment. Not that it was easy ignoring the fact that her friend over there had just coughed up blood... "..." | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:28 am | |
| He would keep staring at her, crossing his arms over his chest. Was that all she was going to say? If she didn't have the confidence or state of mind to even stand up for herself in any way or form, then why did she go with her course of action to begin with? She must have known there was a good chance he would not be happy about her little 'snooping.' But apparently she didn't have any sort of plan for when that happened aside from saying sorry. And he wasn't particularly impressed by that. ''Are you just going to stand there now? What did you think before you did this, that I'm going to give you thumbs up for basically spying on me?'' Maybe some people wouldn't care, but it still wouldn't mean that it is a right thing to do. And if you already decide to do such, then you should be prepared for the consequences in some way. Not just stand there like a piece of rock. ''If you don't have the confidence to stand up for yourself, then you are rather weak. How can you even help other people when you let everything hold you down on the way...?'', the Shadow would speak up this time, sort of taunting the girl. Sharaku would just say nothing to that. Technically, he wouldn't really disagree with the statement, although it was quite straightforward. Then again, hiding your tail between your legs like a puppy rarely gets you somewhere.
He'd stay standing in place, only giving her a blank look. If she wanted to stay silent and not really do anything, he wasn't obligated to initiate anything himself. Afterall, she was the one that walked in on him, therefore it wasn't his job to decide what she wanted to do now that she was here. She'd either make up her mind or not, but he wasn't going to make it too easy for her. You need to know what you want if you actually want a chance at getting it. He saw no reason to try and meet her halfway when she wasn't even making a step anywhere. As such, he would keep completely still, doing nothing.
''...'' | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 8:53 am | |
| "Not really... I was just concerned..." Mae bit her own lip, still refusing to look up at him. "I... Just want to help..." Now, if her help was wanted or needed was a different manner entirely. "I-It's not easy to try and help when all you do is push me away! Is it that hard to understand that I care about you, Sharaku?! Is it?!" She was at her breaking point, her voice was shaky, but still carried nontheless. "Are you really that afraid of letting people into your life that you're willing to keep yourself away from others? Is that what you really want? A life of solitude?" She'd look at him with teary eyes.
"What gives you the right to Judge me?! You don't know me! Yes, so what If I'm weak? Yes, I am weak. I'm only human! I have tried to stay strong for the longest time... But do you really know what it's like? To pretend to be a solid pillar that everyone can lean on?! No, you don't! Neither of you do! And if you don't change, you never will!" Where did his Shadow get the right to taunt her like that? Yes, she fell for it pretty easily, but why should she stay silent? If they wanted to know what she truly felt, then there, they got what they wanted. "I know that things have been hard for you... But you have to understand that you can't live like this... Pushing people away constantly like this isn't healthy! And deep down, you know it too! So stop lying to yourself!" She was probably just speaking to a wall at this point... But she had completely broken down now... As she stopped talking, Mae buried her face in her hands, with the only sound that could be heard was the quiet sobs of a concerned girl... | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:34 pm | |
| Sharaku would blink a few times at her sudden outburst. And he would just snort. He heard what she said, yes, and he could understand what kind of point she was trying to make. But that didn't mean she understood his actions as well as she thought she did. That was what she thought. Didn't mean it was really why he was doing things. For the life of him, he could never understand why people acted like it was all about them specifically, therefore the same in all situations as well. Even if he was doing this with the sole intention of pushing her away, that would in no way mean he's doing exactly the same with every other person he knows. ''No? I have the feeling that you are overexaggerating here. Explain to me what do other people have to do with this. Let's say I was doing this to push you away. How does that mean I'm doing this with everyone?'', he would shake his head. ''I don't know where are you getting that from, but I am not alone. I simply don't have many close friends. I don't need to be a big social butterfly to feel good about myself. Besides, the more friends you have, the less time you have to spend with each one of them. You get stretched around, and it'll only cause you to burn out. I don't feel the need to be close to many people. I never had. It has nothing to do with me wanting to be alone completely.'' So what if he was distant most of the time? It's not like he was completely clueless as to what he needed and what he did not. Everyone has things they simply don't want to drag around, friend or not. He could choose who he'd tell what, and when, because privacy is still a thing. ''And I do understand. But just because I do, doesn't mean I'm going to immediately swoon over it. I don't really like when people get ahead of themselves and push 'help' on me before they even know whether it is necessary, or if I even want it. And then get all upset because I seemingly don't appreciate their hasty sentiments. I don't have to always need it.'' Help is good when it is of use, but people that went around and attempted to be helpful over every damn thing could irk him.
''..............................................'' This was a good reminder as to why he disliked these discussions when at least one party was being way too emotional. For the love of God. 'Judging her?' She just did the same by claiming neither of them know how something feels barely a few sentences later. How the hell does she know? He would stay quiet at first, letting the Shadow speak before him. ''What? I could ask the same of you. What gives you the right to push help onto someone? How can you go around and judge whether they need help simply from hearing some conversation? You can't tell us what is right or wrong when you did what you wanted to yourself.'' Surprisingly enough, it seemed that the two were actually working together, unlike in the past where they argued mostly with each other, first and foremost. Meanwhile, Sharaku would take the time to wipe his face off so the liquid wouldn't bother him. He would give her a slight sneer afterwards. ''Neither of us do, you say? Well, maybe he doesn't, but I beg to differ. In any case, how can you say you're being judged, and then do the same the next sentence? Because I'd love to know just how do you know I don't understand the way it feels. Have any proof? Because I'm pretty sure you cannot claim to know us that well either.''
Did she? Because if not, then she wasn't being really fair. Accusing them of something, and then commiting the same mistake right away. ''Besides, whose problem is it, mine? Just as you said, you pretend to be a pillar for people. It was your choice. No one is making you. If it's too much for you, then you can just stop. Complaining or whining about it is moot when you are the one that is causing this to yourself. It's true, only you can change yourself afterall. So don't go telling me to change myself before you've looked at yourself. Because if the matter makes you feel this bad, then you're probably doing something wrong.'' His tone was firm, though he would just sigh at the end. He wasn't interested in an argument. But apparently that is the only way things get solved sometimes. He just wished there was a way to end them peacefully. He'd admit that he did sometimes enjoy a back and forth, simply because it wasn't utterly boring like many other things were. On the other hand, he wasn't keen on making enemies over it.
He would finally walk over to her, standing right in front of her. ''Lying? Am I? You don't know all I do. I may be choosy about who I let closer to me, but that does not mean I simply push everyone away all the time. If I couldn't live the way I do, I'd have gone insane already. Just because I have my own ways of dealing with things, doesn't mean it's wrong. It's only because every person chooses to have their own understanding of the situation. But nothing says what you think about me is even remotely true just because you assume so from the little you actually see.''
He seemed to be mostly calm at the moment. Even though he was still a bit annoyed. The way she spoke to him was as if she thought he was a kid that didn't know better. He wasn't stupid enough to not know when he needed help or some company. | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 1:59 pm | |
| " You're coughing up blood, for crying out loud! Tell me, how is this not of my concern?! I don't wanna lose you, Sharaku! I really, really don't!" But what the rest the two said was pretty true... She realised this herself, now that he spoke up to her about it... " It's selfish, and hypocritical, I know... I..." Now that she really thought about it, what had she done to help the islands... Or anyone for that matter... She spoke on and on about how she was willing to help... And she did, sometimes, but she never realised uptil now that she was really powerless to do anything at all... " I really am pathetic, aren't I? I can't help my friends, my family or even the islands... All I am doing is just holding people back..." - Mae... - " SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear any excuses. Sharaku's Right... I'm only doing this to hide my own weakness... To keep myself looking somewhat decent, while in reality, all I really do is just distract... I've been wanting to fight against the primordials and whatever else comes our way toghether with my friends and allies but... When push comes to shove, I'm just not strong enough... Both in terms of actual power, and mental fortitude... It's too much..." This realization she had come to a while back, but she kept ignoring it, denying it... Watching all of her friends grow stronger, gaining new powers while she stayed behind... It was agonizing... She wanted to fight for a future in which she and her friends could live happily knowing they were all safe... But she was too weak to fight for such a goal... She was even too weak to face Charles for such a long time... And now, the same was happening to the one person she looked up to the most... the one person she wanted approval from the absolute most. Sharaku himself. - Weakness:
—Weakness Name: Emotional Collapse —Description: When things go really sour for Mae, it's very difficult for her to bounce back. She then lands in a deep depression...
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| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 3:34 pm | |
| ''That happened only after you waltzed in. And I will be fine. It's nothing serious. Can't you trust me when I say you don't need to concern yourself with this? People will only feel like kids that need being looked after if you keep trying to be helpful more than it is necessary. Everyone needs to also be able to help themselves on their own terms. Only when that fails, outside help is really appreciated. Otherwise we just become dependent on others to solve our problems for us.'' Which probably wouldn't be a good thing. The more people like that, the less people to depend on. And then no one would even know how to stand for themselves and just be lost. If you offer help to people too much, they will come to expect that all the time, and use you as their crutch, even at times when they could possibly solve their issues with their own work.
He would tilt his head a bit. ''No. There is always something one can do. No matter what. Just because you have a weakness in something doesn't make you automatically pathetic in said activity. You just need to work on finding what plays out the best for you, despite anything that might be trying to hold you back. We can't be the best at everything, but neither should we give up after making some mistakes.'' Maybe she messed up at times, but so did he or anyone else for that matter. He could be a bit harsh when trying to reason with people over something, but he didn't really hold it against them in the long run. Not unless they continuously kept proving they weren't worth the time. Or were simply unbearable with some of their habits. And in many cases, he kept poking at such simply with the intent of amusing himself by their reaction.
He would attempt to flick her forehead lightly. ''Then how about you just face it? If you keep believing you are weak and hiding it, then that is what you will always be. Because you'll hold yourself back by your own perception of yourself. I'm sure many people don't think you are useless, but it isn't like you'd know if you hide the way you feel from them, as they have no reason to prove it to you specifically. You're not dead yet. That means you can't be all that weak, doesn't it?'', he'd say, smirking thinly. The final choice was hers though. | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:04 pm | |
| " Has... this happened before?" Mae asked carefully. If it had happened before, then perhaps he knew the cause behind it... Which meant he could deal with it... " I... Suppose I could do that..." The girl sighed deeply, sitting down on one of the swings. Her expression was rather lost... She didn't really know what to do with all this... " Sharaku..." She looked up at him. " I really am losing sight of who I am... What my purpose in life is... I suppose in one sense is to keep people happy... But in times like these, I really don't know what to do... It's hard to get out of this once I've gotten stuck..." A wry smile made it's way across her face. " I look up to you, ya know... You kept on fighting, being strong and coolheaded regardless of what was thrown at you... Kind when needed... All of that was something I aspired to be... I wanted to be strong enough to stand proudly by your side as an ally to face the darkness that's coming to the islands... but I just never got there..." She'd pause, kicking some sand with her left food mindlessly before continuing. " No matter what confused me or gave me any doubts as to what I was doing, you were always there, in person or not, guiding me forward... You've been my beacon of light shining down the path in front of me, guiding my way through the darkness of uncertainty and doubt... Heck, even now, when I've done something quite... dumb to be frank, let's not beat around the bush, you still find a way to be that ray of light." She would look back up on him. " If I lose you... I will lose a part of myself... I wouldn't know what to do or where to go... I know, depending on someone that much is rather foolish, but... I can't help it." "Am I useless, Sharaku?" | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:35 pm | |
| Sharaku would shrug. ''Not really. But I know why, and it's allright.'' And even if he was not fine with this, there was not much he could do about it without making it a real problem that would actually do him bad. Even less that she could do. This was his own problem to deal with, and there was really no point in other people butting in too much.
He would scoff. ''That won't do. You can't just live to help others. What kind of an existence is that?'' No one was born to be a rug for others to use when needing help. That was stupid. ''How about you think of yourself more, girl? Other people and their lives are not all that matters. You'll just make yourself into a tool for others if you act like your only purpose is to help people be happy. Get your own backbone instead of making everything circle around some other person.'' Looking up to someone a bit is one thing, but clinging to a vision of what you think you should be is too much. He was far from great, and there was no real reason for her to want to be more like him. She should focus on finding her own self, and be strong through her own means, instead of trying to live up to her hopes she made up.
He would shake his head. ''I'm afraid you are right about one thing. That kind of approach is foolish, yes. Regardless of what you think of me, we are two different people. There is no reason why should you want to be like me. You are you. You need to find your own purpose in this mess. Your own way to be strong, not cling onto some sort of fickle hope. I'm not going to be around forever. If I don't die, I could simply leave somewhere. Or end up in a position where we won't be able to really meet. You can't hold onto something like that forever. Find your own strength, and do what you're good at, instead of crying over the things that don't work out the best for you.'' It was hard to not look at one's own failures. That much was true. But the moment you let them literally weigh you down, you most likely won't even be able to make actual use of your good qualities. Because you'll just be a mopey mess and trying too hard to make yourself look useful. Not like he hasn't been there before in a sense.
He would step back a bit, a laidback grin on his face as he put a hand on his hip. When he spoke up next, it seemed that he and the Shadow were talking in sync. Both of them saying the same at the same time.
''We refuse to answer that. Your own usefulness depends on you, not what others think.'' | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sun Oct 11, 2015 6:39 am | |
| "Well... I hope it gets better... Will it pass over time, or...?" For coughing up blood, he was being awfully casual about all this... Then again, if he was dying, he probably wouldn't be standing around here... He'd be seeking medical attention. "As long as you don't neglect it..." She sighed deeply. After all they had gone through, he better not die on her now.
"Then... I dunno... I suppose I really should start trying to figure that one out, huh? Who I am, and what I want out of my life..." She had never really sat down and given this subject a serious thought beforehand. There had always been something else distracting her in one way or another, which was really unfortunate. She gazed up at the stars above them abscentmindedly. "They are out there somewhere... My real parents that is... I promised myself that I would find them... I want to know where I come from..." She sighed again... "You know... there's something which as been bothering me for a long time now... Why did they leave me at that orphanage in the first place? What caused them to leave their daughter behind like that? Was I not wanted?" Well... there was the source of all her doubts... The fact that she didn't know who her parents were was painful... Seeing people with their parents still there for them made her feel more lonely... The reason why she had been sticking to friends as close as possible, trying her best to help them out whenever possible was to fill that hole which her real parents had left in her... Sure, Kinaku and her band was pretty much family, but... there was just something missing. Not that she didn't apprechiate what they had done for her. Given her a home. A home which she never had. And now, her friends were there for her too... They were truly her own family. "What I'm good at...?" She said thoughtfully... This would take a lot of time on her own to figure out... Perhaps some soul searching was due soon... She needed to find her own purpose, rather than existing for the sake of others... She needed to carve her own path in life, rather than following someone else's shadow...
"I... I need some time to figure this out... I can't say I'm completely useless... I've saved a good number of people over the course of this event..." Mae closed her eyes. The event... Without being a part of it, she had still been affected by it... "Hrm..." Yes, some time was necessary for her to figure this out on her own... "So... You're leaving when all this is said and done, right?" She asked, looking at him once again. She needed something else to live for... but what? | |
| | | Huayan Admin
Posts : 4919 Join date : 2013-09-06 Age : 28 Location : In front of my computer.
| Subject: Re: Only Time Will Tell Sun Oct 11, 2015 7:09 am | |
| ''Yes. I'm fine.'' He didn't seem to have the intent of explaining it to her right now, therefore he would just repeat himself, no matter how many times she asked the same thing again, just in different words. To be honest, he didn't feel like talking about it after all this. For how she was trying to be helpful, the only thing she did was turning it around. Now he was the one listening to her problems apparently. And as much as he didn't want to, it did irk him a bit. It's like she came here to tell him confessions or something, even though she claimed a completely different intent in the beginning.
He would just look at her blankly. ''Why does that matter so much? Your parents don't dictate what your life will be. There's little use getting hung over something that already happened. Even if you knew, it wouldn't change anything anymore. It's not like you are badly off now. Nor are you alone.'' Yes, one's parents were important, but why bother over it so much after all this time? It doesn't do you any good. From what he understood, she never actually knew them, so she couldn't even have any kind of real bond with them. Technically, her parents were just some other people on the earth. Didn't those that stood by her now matter more than someone she probably didn't even remember at all?
Yes, she did. And she sure didn't need him to do that. ''Then do so on your own. I'm sure you don't need me for that. Or did you come here to talk about yourself? Because that's almost all what we've been doing despite how you claimed you came over because you were concerned about me. And I'm the one helping you instead.'', he would state, almost grumbling a bit. Just because he took the time to speak to her about it didn't mean he had to also like the way it was going. Because at this point it just felt like he was here to entertain her personal problems more than anything else, after she impolitely spied on him and all. He didn't ask for this when he came outside.
''No. I don't think I'm going anywhere yet. Why?'' | |
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