Coming Clean with the Past (Akina)

What the hell am I going to say to Akina? I'm a criminal who murdered his girlfriend for no particular reason? *Sigh* I probably should have thought this through a lot more before sending Akina that text. All I can do is think of the proper way to spill the beans about me before she gets here. I mean, I really feel like I should be honest with her when I was honest with fricken Vincent before her.

I just hope she can forgive me for that.

Well, this was odd. For once, Tremora was the one to text her to meet him somewhere. Other than meetings and missions Akina didn't really get much of a chance to talk to Tremora much. Not one on one, that's for sure. When was the last time just her and Tremora had a normal conversation, hm?

Akina really didn't know the answer to that.

Anyway, she arrived, walking up to her teammate with a small smile on her face. "Ah. Uh, hi there Tremora. You...said you wanted to talk to me?" She was curious as to why she was summoned here. It was kind of out of nowhere, after all. "Does it have to do with any...uh...persona-y business or...?"

"Oh, hi Akina. Yes I do want to talk to you about something Akina. It isn't related to personas but it is still very important. When Nozomi confronted your shadow, we learned quite a lot of stuff about you. I kinda felt that was unfair and that you should also get to know me. So, here I am, willing to tell you about my entire past and all the wounds that come with it. So, just say the word and I'll spill my past out like a water fountain."

Now all I can do is wait for her response. I told her to come her, so I must be open about my past. I just hope she doesn't freak out over the part where I am former murderer.

"Uh..." She blinked. Hm? Tremora wanted to...spill his past to her? She wasn't expecting that. Akina didn't know what she was expecting out of this honestly, but it certainly wasn't that. "...Sure. Yeah, you guys did kind of learn a lot...a lot of stuff I'd rather you...d-didn't know," She said with a slight frown. "I guess...if you think that'll make it more "fair", then go for it."

After she responded she would grow completely silent, now she was focused on what Tremora was going to say. Akina was getting a...weird vibe from this conversation already. Was that...dread? She didn't know, but whatever it was she was feeling it. Sure, it made sense why Tremora would want to tell her more about himself when he put it that way, but it wasn't like this was the first time the two ever spoke to each other after her shadow incident. It had been quite a while since then. At least to Akina it had. She wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed since then, but it sure as hell felt like forever.

So why would Tremora decide to open up now of all times? Was there something more behind this? ...Akina was probably overthinking things at this point. Oh well.

"Yeah, I know it's quite uncomfortable having someone know something you spent your entire life hiding. Yeah, I'll make it fair. As it's said, it's good to be fair and square. Sooo, I guess we start on my old life? I lived in the Azores all my life and had a nice family, and was getting educated for a good job. Specifically a course in engineering. I managed to graduate college and get a decent job in engineering."

"Then I found my.... 'former' girlfriend Sophia. We found each other and eventually started dating. Heck, we were even at the point of living together. But for some reason or other that I forget our relationship was a bit strained. I honestly don't know why to this day, but I snapped and killed her." I look Akina in the face with a sad smile. "When I got back to my senses I was horrified and ran, and I ran for 2 straight years. Ironically I tried to recompense for my actions by helping people and catching criminals for those 2 years on the run."

"Finally, on my birthday, I decided to stop running away from my past and confront it head on. To do that I decided to turn myself into the police. I was surprised when everyone I helped tried to testify to my innocence. That the police 'Got the wrong guy' which honestly steeled my resolve to go to jail. I was transfered to the Azores Prison and spent 2 years there as a 'Model Prisoner'. Though for reasons I still can't quite comprehend, I was sent back out into the city to sort of... work with the police. I guess they had the thought in their minds that 'He can recompense through action'?"

"So I was sent out to work with the police but I had to have a sort of tracker put in my right arm. Still aches in cold weather. So I helped the police with some criminals and helped the populace with a budget from the police department ironically. Though when I was in the other worlds they made quite a fuss, but I made sure to immediately report in. Though I feel a bit stupid that I only JUST found out that Jack Rannels is ranger red, and my boss is HIS FATHER."

"Honestly it might explain why they were so lenient on me. Having to deal with a son who was an incognito vigilante who is also involved in supernatural shenannigans must take quite a toll. Sooo, I guess that is it about my past, and if you want to hit me for killing my girlfriend for no real reason.... feel free to." Just mentioning my girlfriend makes me wanna cry.

Akina had listened intently throughout the whole explanation, and when he had finished her eyes were wide and she was sort of gaping at him. He...killed his girlfriend? Tremora? Wow, this was unbelievable. But of course Akina believed her teammate. Why would he even lie about something like that? She slowly lifted a hand towards Tremora- was she actually going to hit him? But no, that hand landed on his shoulder. What was this gesture even supposed to be? Comforting? Maybe. Probably. Akina herself didn't even know.

Anyway. Akina decided she'd been silent for long enough. "...W-Wow. Um. Hey, Tremora, I'm not going to hit you over something like this," Akina assured with a slight smile. "To me, the emotional pain you're feeling from this is enough. I can just see it in your face. You look pretty sad. But who could blame you. It's pretty clear you've been through a lot. While you may not have had a reason...people can be like that sometimes. Sometimes we...don't need a reason to do unwise things, or to make stupid choices. The most regrettable things done in one's life can easily be those that didn't have any reasoning." What wise words coming from Akina, of all people. Akina was clearly choosing her words extra carefully here.

"Tremora, I want you to listen to me carefully when I say this, alright? I don't want any doubts..." Her voice was gentle, but firm. "I'm not going to, you know, hold this against you or anything. We've all done things we regret in the past, though some more than others, of course. The fact that you faced what you did instead of running forever is something I can respect. Admire, even. That isn't something easy. And the fact that you've clearly made efforts to redeem yourself is even better. Um...t-thank you. For telling me all of this. Though I do have a question..." Akina took a deep breath before asking. Wow, this conversation turned into a deep one really fast... "Do the others already know about this? Like Nozi and Vince?"

"Huh?" Wait what? I thought she would punch me in the face. This.... isn't really in character for her. What is she thinking? ".............." She's trying to comfort me, but saying I'm like everyone else. But she is wrong sadly. I can't even pinpoint why I killed my girlfriend, and I've been trying to find that out for years. "Akina, you do realize that people do horrible things always for a reason right? No matter how obscure or horrible, there is always a reason for it. I am not like other people Akina, I have been searching the depths of my soul for years about why I did it, but nothing comes up!"

"Akina, I regret this more than you will ever know. Imagine taking what you love more than anything else, and destroy it without a second thought, only to have what you just did be realized after the fact. That is exactly what my felt, my love, gone, for no reason. Yeah, but that just proves how unusual and abnormal I am. Every sane person would run from something horrible they did, and if it was like mine, probably forever. I just waltzed into the police station on my BIRTHDAY of all days. I honestly feel that I'm sick in the head one way or another."

"Heh, it's natural for a human to try to clean up a mistake instead of making sure it never happens. I didn't do anything unnatural, I even think that half of those that could stop running would be doing like I did. *Sigh* Honestly, I wish I didn't even have to tell anyone this, but my crime is public knowledge so I always have to do it. Oh? Wellllll, ummmmm, I kinda talked to Nozomi a long while about this and Vincent just a few days ago. Sorry I left you out of the loop about this. ;.;"

"Did you really expect me to hit you? I mean, sure I'm not magically okay with the fact you killed someone, but I'm not going to just punch you in the face just like that." She'd sigh. "Look, I know I can flip out and get all pissed over stuff, but it's not like that's the only thing I do. I'm not just gonna go around beating people up if they do stuff that's wrong." Well. That was debatable. But in a situation like this, where it was serious and the person was just trying to be honest with her, she wouldn't.

Akina wouldn't lie, the fact that Tremora had done what he did was making her feel a little uneasy, but Tremora was her friend. If he was coming to her to confess this to her, then she would do her best not to like hold it against him or anything. Like she said before.

"Also, sorry if I somehow offended you in my attempts at comfort. I'm not the best at this, haha," She'd smile a little sheepishly. But then she'd frown slightly. "Oh...so I was the last person to find out, huh? That's what I feared..." She sighed again. "Even Vincent...?  You guys just met him...how come you told him before me?" Akina was just wondering out loud at this point. But the fact that even Vincent was aware of this before her kind of made her upset. Why did he take so long to tell her? Did he not trust her or something? She kind of needed to know now.

"Kinda? *Sigh* I honestly thought you were the type of person to freak out over crimes. Guess I was somewhat wrong about that? Wellll, I kinda thought that you would be very touchy about this subject. And Vincent, well, he really is an understanding guy. Bah, what am I saying? I am pouring out my entire life to some teenagers that I don't really know."

"Also, it isn't the fact that you weren't good at comfort, it was just I sort of expected a punch in the face from you. And when it didn't happen I tried to be a bit stubborn, like one of those bloody dwarfs. Also, just saying, Nozomi knew my past months ago. I believe I was crying over it all and he just helped me through it."

"L-Like I said...I'm not really just okay with it either. I mean, that's to be expected. You...killed someone. That's...pretty serious. It's not okay, after all," She said, looking down. "You weren't exactly...wrong about that. But...you're coming to me right now to like confess it and stuff. How bad of a person would I have to be to just flip out and make a scene when you're trying to be honest and tell me this serious thing about your past?" Akina wasn't even sure if she was reacting the right way here. Was she supposed to be really pissed? Was she supposed to hit him? Ugh, this was a really unfamiliar situation to her.

"Oh. At this point, you sound like you wanted a punch in the face..." She tilted her head. "Then again, you did say you were expecting it. And yeah, you may be pouring out your life to some teens, but considering we're all a team and we're involved in this seriously life-threatening stuff, maybe that's not a bad thing. I doubt we'd like to somehow find out for ourselves, then it would just be you hiding something serious from us."

"And that definitely sounds like something Nozi would do. You know, help you through it and stuff. I would expect him to be one of the first people to know, so that's not too surprising..." She smiled lightly.

"Heh, I spent a large part of my life brooding over the fact that murder is wrong. I think I might know what you are saying better than many people in the world. Yes I am confessing this to you, strange, isn't it? Ummm, you'd be a pretty normal person to flip your shit against me. I mean, almost everyone who doesn't like me hates or pities me, you know, ex criminal and ex murderer and all of that.

"Exactly, I was expecting it, and you really seemed like a person who would do that sort of thing. Yeah, maybe it isn't that bad a thing, but then again who knows?" I start to smirk. "Yeah, I have heard many a time that when someone discovers someone elses secret that it is usually put in the worst light and also taken as a sign of distrust. Yeah, Nozomi really isn't an ordinary guy, or maybe he is and that's why he is so good at this shit."

"A good ordinary person would pretty much be somewhere around where Nozomi currently is. So honestly I say that he is a good guy and that he is definently our leader."

"Well...I never said I didn't like you, did I? Tremora, you're my friend remember? I don't hate or pity you. I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to this if I'm being honest." She shrugged.

"See, learning this kind of thing might bring distrust but it's not really having that effect since you're confessing it yourself. If anything, the fact that you'd be honest like this might make one trust you more. I...can't really explain what I mean very well. But it's not like I just found out after you didn't tell me about it." She said with a tiny smile.  "To be honest, I doubt Nozi is just an ordinary guy, and in a way that fact makes him so good at this. He's just Nozi, and he's a great leader. But if we're talking about ordinary, I honestly don't think any of us are just ordinary...I mean, with all that's been happening to us, that's very unlikely."

"Yeah, I guess you are my friend. 'Bulbasaur'. I guess it's sort of the thing that if someone trusted you enough to tell you something that if found out publicly would make them the laughing stock of the town. Then you can feel the trust and you feel it's also all right for you to trust them. I know he is just Nozomi but he somewhat reminds me of Durnik from one of David Eddings' series. He is ordinary, just a special ordinary."

"Now before you ask why I said Bulbasaur, it's Japanese name can literally translate into 'Strange isn't it?'. So yeah, funny little nerd reference to catch you off guard."

She nodded, but clearly looked confused when Tremora randomly said bulbasaur in the middle of his sentence, but she didn't question it. "Yeah, I guess it's sort of like that. Trust is kind of a weird thing when you think about it. Like, it can be so hard to actually get and then really easy to lose. Nozi, a special ordinary? I guess you have a point. That does sound like him."

"Ohhhh," And there goes her confusion. Good thing she didn't ask since he was going to explain it anyway. "'Strange isn't it?'...is that really true? I didn't know that. That's pretty interesting, actually. I was a little confused since you just randomly said a pokemon's name but now I understand."

"I think the reason for that is that it's so easy for people to see the worst about you. I have personally felt the results of that many times, so it gives me a unique perspective. Of course I have a point Akina, otherwise I wouldn't say something like that. Yeah, I know that it's very confusing but it's true. Also there are two more important things." I take a long pause.

"I caught you off guard and my crime has already been public for a long time."