A hopeless place [Sharaku]

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Another night at a club.
By now, Shun already made it a practice to go to nightclubs every weekend or whenever it's possible during weeknights, with a predilection for the Wave's Peak — that is, when their relatives wouldn't bicker about him getting too late at home. After all, he was still in the sweet sixteens; not only too young to spend his night in such a "violent, inelegant and potentially dangerous place", he should live up to his role.
"Before being Shunnosuke, you were already a Kurosawa". Words of his grandmother, Erihime. "It's too big of a business to put aside for a few hours of fun. When you're older you'll understand. Youth passes whether you want it or not. Your status, your patrimony...it'll only pass if you want. Is that what you want, Shunnosuke?"

To think about that hurts.
To think about that way of asking things as if you doesn't really have any options but to say what she wanted to hear, that way of glaring at you, deep inside of you, that imposing inexpressive face, that authority...
Of course he didn't want his family to lose everything they've strove for, but he also didn't want to sacrifice his identity for a passionate feeling he didn't carry to his core. Call Shunnosuke a bastard, but...gratitude? Honor? Those feelings were unknown to the boy. There's no honor in being born in a family he didn't choose, in the name of people he didn't love to the full extent. Is that an accomplishment? The same goes for gratitude. They are their parents, they shouldn't expect to receive a cookie for raising him, should they? It's their legal obligation, dammit!

...yeah. To think about that hurts. As he sipped his liqueur, he let himself be carried away by the current background track.

"Wasted, waste my life".

...and he smiled weakly. His moves would lose its sharpness just like he'd lose his volition to keep on dancing. The lyrics sort of stuck in his mind as he watched his surroundings.

"Wasted, waste my sanity".

The club was too crowded today, to the point even walking back to the counter would prove itself to be a hard task, despite the relatively short distance between them. Too many people everywhere, dancing at their own will and pace, Shunnosuke had no choice but to open space between the sea of unknown bodies, faces and even stories. The place itself had nothing to be considered "violent" or "dangerous". Perhaps the confusion of lights alternating with darkness and in colors, the different scents and the fog rising from the ground to set up the mood were still a hard scenery for a traditional old lady to digest. Perhaps that's why the boy grew fond of that place quickly.
With some degree of difficulty, he managed to reach the counter, sitting in one of the available benches. The bartender quickly deduced he'd want to fill the glass, to which Shunnosuke made a short gesture and shook his head denying.
Well, that's a first. For someone who sells a precocious image, the bartender was somewhat satisfied to see the young boy decided to refuse another set of beverage. A glimpse of paternalism, perhaps, and gladly he didn't voice any concerns on that matter to repress Shunnosuke's behavior nor made any compliment; everything the boy didn't need was a fatherly (or any relative) figure.

Sigh.
If is relatives found out he was already an alcohol-lover at such young age — and how he managed to get those drinks in first place, making use of illegal ways plus the influence of his notorious family background —, he would have to face hell at home and for a long time, through aggressive and morally abusive speeches he'd rather not remember for now.
Shunnosuke finally leaned his elbow on the counter. Waiting. What exactly the teenager was waiting, not even him could tell for sure...

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:38 am

What was HE doing here out of all the places, he didn't even really know. Maybe it was just that there wasn't anything more plausible in Penecia that was actually edible even at later hours of the day, or Sharaku was just utterly out of concept today. He wasn't truly the type to do this on his own, not without some prompting beforehand. Because...what for? Drinking heavily was something he frowned upon more than not, at least in concern of himself. And dancing as it was didn't provide that much entertainment. That said, he didn't really prefer the kind of dancing most did nowadays either. The point of a club after ruling these two out in some way or form...was a little moot. Though, sitting at the counter and listening to music was acceptable enough, without having any spectacular reason for doing it.

And he pretty much guessed that was what he was going to do for the time being. Doing his best to keep a pleasant face as he waded through the crowds to get somewhere less populated, he briefly wondered if it was actually possible to get drunk out of just smelling the copious amounts of alcohol everywhere. Because really, that wouldn't be too favorable. That nonwithstanding, the current choice of musical background was irking him a bit. And he couldn't even pinpoint why was that so. It was just...ugh. Lots of things. And none of them were really what he enjoyed musing about at all. Giving a slight sigh, as he finally managed to successfully ghost through the mobs to where it looked fair enough, he would take a quick sweeping look around to see if he couldn't a place where he wouldn't be possibly bothered too much. No such luck. However, he did find something that was interesting in a rather opposite way. Not that he was sure if this was actually a better kind of luck.....Sometimes, he didn't know anymore.

''I didn't know you were into these things. Is it actually fun?'', he would inquire, a bit suddenly, as he approached the leaning teen from behind. ''Nevertheless, it's a pleasure to meet you here, mister.'', he would pull a faint smile, as he gave his hello. Maybe he should have been bothered, maybe not. But, he already knew in some way that Shun liked to drink from their first meeting, so he took this with a grain of salt. He didn't really feel like he should be telling the younger anything along the lines of a club like this not being for youngsters. Not his job, if he were to say. For plenty of reasons.

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Shunnosuke was moving his middle finger around the glass's mouth aimlessly, over and over again, when he heard the voice behind him. Even though it was sort of muffled by the ambience's soundtrack, he could recognize it without delay and turn his head in its direction.
Sharaku.
In other instance, the teenager would be extremely happy to see him. However, after the last few encounters, he was not so sure anymore. To think about the incident at the restaurant would open some doubts about Sharaku's identity. Who he was, what secrets he has lying underneath that captivating smile and how long that very same smile would last until he felt like exploding and getting violent again were a few questions the boy had in mind since then.
That and the fact he called him "cocky". Call him childish and immature, but Shunnosuke still wasn't over that and while usually he wouldn't care for that word choice to refer to himself, it pained the teenmore than it should for two simple reasons: the moment and the speaker.

— I didn't know YOU were into these things. — The teenager replied, setting his position straight to take a better look at the taller one's face. He couldn't deny he wasn't at least a bit happy (and relieved) to meet a known person and, specifically, that person in particular. — I thought someone of your age was past the time to hang out in nightclubs and such. — "Your age". He didn't even know how old Sharaku is in reality, damn. To think about how little they knew each other would only serve to make Shunnosuke feel even more helpless and in the dark.

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Sun Oct 19, 2014 5:11 pm

Genius. So he was getting his own statement thrown back at him, eh? Ah, well, fair enough. It was probably a surprising thing after all. It was true that Sharaku was not initially the type to do such, so it was normal to be asked. ''Point taken. I'm not really. I just figured I'd try.'', he would explain smoothly, giving the younger a laid-back smile. There was no point in lying about this. It was indeed not something he ever did frequently, and might not start doing so...unless he gets dragged here, that is.

A hopeless place [Sharaku] Tumblr_inline_ndhux7vaXN1sfuld6

The second statement baffled him a little though. Wait, so age was the whole problem? But. Sharaku would give Shun a few silent blinks at first. ''...Do I really look that old, or am I just assuming your idea of proper age wrong?'', he would ask eventually, an eyebrow raised in questioning. Oh, he was well aware he had not told Shun how old he was before, but the teen never asked. And he didn't feel it neccessary to tell if the other didn't inquire. Still, really? Then again, he'd have to know what age did Shun believe to be not appropriate anymore at first. Fact was, he did not think he was seriously older than what Shun had in mind. Back to square one though. Did he really look that old.....? Wow. The things you learn.

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As assumed, Sharaku wasn't the club-goer type. It wasn't hard to deduce, after all. He was pretty formal, gentlemanly and even his attire wouldn't allow any other perception except that's "a man of good breeding". Then again, so is Shun — to an extent — and there he is, expressing his fondness for that "inadequate" ambiance. — I knew it. My grandparents would like you, a seemingly good guy. — He said, after a brief moment giving that sort of blank yet contemplative stare to Sharaku's face. When he noticed he extended his glare longer than the necessary, he couldn't help but to feel awkward and return his sight to his glass.

— Aren't you nearly 30? Men around that age are already busy with finding a job and a woman to settle down. The older you are, the more you start to worry about fulfilling the society's expectations upon your presumed existence and less about wasting it with fun, games and whatnot. It's only a natural pattern in our contemporary society. — He continued, shrugging nonchalantly that pretentious analysis off and playing the same way as before with his glass. Sharaku had already his job, from what Shun knew. The "woman" or whatever strikes his fancy...maybe not yet, who knows. He wouldn't inquire about it, though; at least, not right now.

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:30 am

Uh, what did Shun's grandparents have to do with all this? Sharaku had thought this was about the younger's opinion, not his family's. Or did he already loose the point mid-stream? Somewhat confused by that particular statement, he proceeded to stare right back at Shun. ''I shall not ask what your grandparents have to do with all that, but let me just say this; an impression is not always correct.'', he would say rather nonchalantly. After all, seemingly was the keyword here. Truth was, he was not necessarilly your good guy. It was just an act a lot of the time. It definitely made moving about easier in most situatuons. And that was about the extent of that. Eh, and maybe the fact that he enjoyed messing with people at times.

''....30...?'', he would pretty much echo when Shun answered his inquiry. Wait, really? Err, maybe he shouldn't have asked. Oh, looking older than he was could be beneficial...perhaps, but seriously now, just like that? Okay, on second thought, Shun did say NEARLY, but what was that..? 28, perhaps? Even if, it was still a glaring 6 year difference from the truth, and to be honest it wasn't really that little. Especially regarding things that usually tended to matter. And don't even get him started on the rest of Shun's little speech there. There were so many X's in it, that Sharaku didn't even know where to start at first. For a few splitting moments, he would give the younger a blanked out stare. Dear, where was this even going....''Ahem.'', he would clear his throat eventually, shaking himself back into reality. ''I am not even going to inquire as to what your definition of nearly is, for the sake of my mental well-being, but let's put it this way. If we take those 30 as a base, you are a magnificient 8 years off.'', he would smile faintly with that, as while it was a little uncalled problem to deal with, it was still a little amusing in the end. He had never figured Shun thought there was that much of an age difference between them.

''Though, speaking of the whole society thing....It can go; pardon my French if you will; 'fuck' itself, as far as my opinion is concerned. Or put in simpler words, everything you just said, does in some way not correlate with me specifically. Existence on its own can be such a pain in the first place.....'', he would sort of attempt to correct the younger's generalization of his person, his expression resembling one of disdain at that particular moment. After a short moment, however, he would give a sigh, running a hand through his hair, almost in slight frustration at the whole subject matter. ''Is there any reason why would it all bother you in the first place? Not to spoil your views but I've seen 50 year olds attempting this kind of thing. Not that it all matters, but it's probably pretty much a subjective matter.'', he would comment casually, waving a hand in the direction of the crowded dancefloor and all, this time, putting on...a poker face, if you will, almost as if attempting to lighten the mood by that statement. Though, not necessarily very persuasively.

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Shunnosuke ended up letting a deep sigh slip out as Sharaku implied his grandparents had nothing to do with their conversation. Little did he know. They are the very reason as of why Shunnosuke headed to a nightclub in first place. Of course, Sharaku wouldn't know that, it wasn't him to blame for it, and the teenager also wouldn't tell the drama of his life. At least, not now. He did wonder a bit what the man meant by "an impression is not always correct", though.

And then he clearly stated his age, making his lift his eyebrows in a clear surprise. Wow. Did he hear correctly? He didn't expect Sharaku to be so...young. Perhaps it was his childish perception of things, but Sharaku had that...maturity aura around him, from his manners to the way he spoke, even to his towering height, he couldn't imagine they were closer in age than a decade (or more) of difference. Then again, even so, six years difference when you're still undergoing puberty can make one hell of difference in how you perceive world. — The..."sake of your well-being"? What is it, you didn't like being called old? — He snerked casually. Now, Sharaku's reaction to everything, and specially the age discussion and the part where the taller one curses, was incredibly amusing. He didn't expect that from a well-behaved, high-class man. For a moment Shunnosuke would cross his legs and turn his bench to his companion's way so the younger could have a good sight of him. Sure it was a bit bothersome to speak to him due their height difference, but well, that disdainful look on his face was...priceless. Did he really get bothered by that? The teen couldn't help but to smile wryly, almost devilish.

— My my, did I strike a nerve? You should sit down and take a deep breath, you know. After all, there's no indicative I was talking about you in particular, is there? Wouldn't it be pretty...hmmm...cocky to take my criticism to that personal level? Hm, Sharaku? — Should Sharaku be pretty perceptive, he would realize the hints behind Shun's mildly passive-aggressive behavior. On the boy's side, it did feel good to let part of his frustration out, regardless of his inner feelings for Sharaku.

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:22 pm

Hm, it seemed that Shun did indeed not expect that number from his expression which was something Sharaku had pretty much expected from the way things had gone so far. Shun's snarking comment spoken afterwards did take him aback for the initial moment though. It wasn't that he...disliked it per se, but he did not think being that off did any good. Doubly so in situations like this one, apparently. ''Would you?'', he would throw back at Shun immediately, though following it with an indifferent shrug afterwards. ''I just prefer not to be on too much of a guessing ground in case of that. It does tend to make a difference. I hope that is an answer enough.'', he would add, shrugging the matter off, not really even addressing the well-being part of the inquiry. The whole age thing was not really a good background subject to use for picking such a detail apart.

....That was rather uncalled for. But, Sharaku wasn't going to put it directly against Shun, for the teen had no way of knowing what was he even toying with. However, instead of some sort of immediate reaction which Shun might have expected in return to his jab, he would get completely nothng at first, except for a clearly blank look, almost too much so. ''.....'' After a few moments he would concede, somewhat taking Shun's suggestion to sit down, but still not saying anything.

He would stay like that for an almost painfully silent moment, his expression a bit grim...or was it sad? When he finally turned his gaze onto Shun, he would speak up in a flat tone, though a little shaky. ''Does it....really matter? Be it. I...don't think I really care...........Look, I see you're enjoying yourself with this, and I will not deny you that....but...I don't think I can follow........'', he would trail off slightly. Following it by a slightly broken laugh. ''Don't mind me and all that though........Feel free to have fun...That's what this place is supposed to be all about...right?'' With that, his golden eyes would turn to stare somewhere forward again, seemingly not focusing on any exact point. What was it that he was thinking about right now was a wonder....

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While Sharaku was silent, Shun was feeling...fine. Gloriously fine. He wouldn't stop staring at Sharaku's face with a rather sadistic and wry grin upon his face. So, the guy was speechless now? Serves him fine. He should be thankful Shunnosuke wasn't as ruthless with words when feeling disheartened as he usually is when dealing with people and well, he didn't say anything too severe, but a mere throwback.

When Sharaku sat down while remaining quiet, under Shun's constant surveillance, the boy would just roll his eyes and turn this attention back to his empty, blurry glass. He was still hoping for a comeback, which didn't happen. Well, whatever. It's not like he cared anymore. To ask or not to ask another drink became his present concern.

He'd pay attention back to the man only when if addressed again, should the other decide to break the ice installed between them. It didn't take long to happen, but unlike Shunnosuke's expectations on their interaction, Sharaku wasn't angry or defending himself of Shun's previous bitter remarks. Something about his tone and his facial expression seemed like it really got into him. Shunnosuke should be happy, that's what he aimed for, right?
...he wasn't.

— ... — Somehow, he felt struck by...guilty. Sigh. The teenager wasn't the type to feel guilt over making someone feel miserable; usually they deserved it. Retribution law. Sharaku deserved it. But the more he looked at the man's face, the more he felt the opposite. The more he knew that's not close to how he felt about that man at all and not how he wanted Sharaku to think of him. — When I first saw you, that party was incredibly boring. My grandparents were ruining my day enough...and then you came. I probably looked like a tramp that time; still the next day I wanted to see you again. And the other days too. I hoped it would happen eventually, but I didn't know anything about you by then... — He would get silent for a minute, taking a deep breath and making time to put some actual sense into his words. What a lame situation, this wasn't supposed to be so hard to say. An apology...and a confession. — That's why it...hurt me. I'd heard that word a lot, I am judged a lot, by a lot of people, and expect if from all of them. ...I didn't expect it from you. — He ended it, looking cautiously to Sharaku through the corner of his eyes, only to quickly dismiss the glare and focus on another direction. The opposite, to be precise. He probably failed to express it correctly, but half word to the wise is enough to their understandings.

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:48 pm

....What...? Wait a moment here, like right now. What in hell did insipre this all of a sudden...? Sharaku would not say a single word during Shun's talk, for several reasons, actually. First of all, he was WAY too confused right now, because nothing was following at the moment. Second, he wasn't sure he even knew how to feel about this, and last but not least....Why? He didn't really get it. Yes, he wasn't going to lie...the fact that Shun held some sort of interest in him was obvious after some time period, but..He had no idea it was like this, and no idea as to why even. He was capable of charming people when he put his mind to it, but he had never really attempted it with Shun...not in all seriousness, at the very least. This...anyhow, Shun was right about one thing...He did not know anything about him by then...and problem was, he still pretty much didn't. And for a moment, he had the urge to actually say that aloud, but even he knew that was REALLY darn stupid to do in this situation. Which is why he ended up literally biting his tongue. ''Ow.''

A hopeless place [Sharaku] Dgm_207_poster__tyki_by_maverickhunteraxl7-d48wfp0

Well, that wasn't the smartest thing either. But, at least he didn't say a complete idiocy right now. And, it did serve a good purpose as well. Nothing like a little bit of pain to clear one's mind. He did have to say something after all...Though, he was still at a bit of a word loss. ''I....'' Damn. He really had no idea what to say. He almost felt stupid for struggling with this like that...but it really was kind of complicated...but, when was it not? ''I shall...admit that I did not realize. But....it's just that....I mean, you are right about not really knowing me. Because I think that may be where the problem lies.....I am...most likely not even who you take me as. I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't know how much would that even mean...'', he would shake his head, somewhat sadly, though giving Shun a faint smile.

''I suppose I could try to explain, if you so wish. But, it won't be a fun talk. I'll let you choose.'', he would sigh a bit. ''If you decide to, maybe we can work this out. I, however don't want to make a conclusion beforehand. You may change your mind about all you said after this. Your call.'', he would finish, leaning his chin on his hands a little, sporting a more level-headed expression now. Though, truth was, he still had no idea where this would even lead to....

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For a moment, he didn't anticipate a reaction, let alone a response. In Shunnosuke's mind, the conversation would end right there and Sharaku would leave. It'd be okay, perhaps that was indeed the best situation. Honestly he was too ashamed to even look to Sharaku in the face...that is, until the older one decided to release a painful interjection, making the boy immediately look back quirking his eyebrows. Is that due to something he said...?

"[... ]I'd say I'm sorry [...]".
"I'm sorry."
Everything he said was very hard to swallow, but those are the words that stood out the most. In Shunnosuke's mind, the only possible interpretation was it's another of many cases of unrequited love.
"Love". He avoided using that definition. He couldn't even think about fostering this kind of feeling for anyone, for two reasons: his family wouldn't enjoy the notice and the boy himself wasn't the type to easily feel interested in another person — at least, not long time, past the "toying" and "flirting" games.
— Whatever you decide, Sharaku. It's not like I have hopes up or am aiming for something bigger, I only told you this because you seemed too depressed all of a sudden. — He shrugged, with clear hints of resentment although trying to not show on the surface he was too upset about the outcome. Talk about being prideful enough to not admit it. Still, it was partially true; in a normal situation the teenager would never confess what he feels, whatever it is...or should the occasion be favorable, he would. Argh, Shunnosuke didn't even know anymore. All he knew is that was, undoubtedly, a bad idea. — And well, my night wasn't fun way before you appeared, I doubt what you have to say would make it any worse. — Shunnosuke punctuated, unconcerned. As much as he had low to none expectations at all, he was still curious enough to allow Sharaku to break that mystery aura that surrounded him most of the time.

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:29 pm

'.....' Really? Is that something you'd tell to a person when they look depressed to you? No offense to Shun's mind processes, but wouldn't a confession like that possibly only add more trouble.... If someone feels down, is it really a smart thing to give them more to worry over? Though, he wouldn't deny it had a bit of a different effect on him than that. Still, there was a point in that. Smoothing out a bit of his attire thoughtfully, he would lean against the counter before responding to Shun's explanation of reason. ''A litte stingy, aren't you? I didn't even say an exact 'Yes' or 'No' yet. Though, word of advice, if I may. If you can't decide whether you seriously want it or not, then maybe hold off before you make up your own mind.'', he would say, giving the teen a slightly pointed look during his last words. But, really. First he says he's interested, and then immediately goes all 'Oh, I'm not really sure, I just said it to...what? Make you feel better?'. How about..filter it through your head first? ''Because, if I am to be honest, most wouldn't take that kind of comeback well, depressed or not. You're lucky I'm cynical enough to pass by it.'', he would detail, lips quirking in a slightly wry smile.

At Shun's second declaration, he would shift in his seat a little. ''There can always be something worse.'', he would say, with an almost inaudible sigh. ''Answer me a question, if you will. What do you think about Shadows?'', he would inquire eventually, attempting to at least poke at the general standing they had. He had a feeling explaining right off the bat would not be a good idea in case Shun's views on certain things were....too negative in a regard.

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— ...what? — He kept his jaw partially dropped with a not too pleased countenance, words wouldn't just come out to his mouth. Seriously? Was there any trace in Shunnosuke's face that made he seem indecisive and "stingy" at all? Where did Sharaku get that "confession" (or excuse of a confession) was professed only to light up his mood? That was downright misjudged and underestimated. This time, however, Shunnosuke wouldn't give his piece of saddened mind and run off, though his honest desire that time was to just end that damn moment and leave it at that. Giving it a second thought..."stingy"? Cocky and stingy, is it? Shunnosuke was just furious! — The shadow subject will wait. — It was noticeable by his sharp yet composed and imperative tone that the teenager was completely displeased by the way he received his response. — You know, you are soooo intelligent and such a smooth-talker, yet you got it all wrong, that's not even close to what I truly meant! — The more he spoke, the higher-pitched his tone would increase and he would lift his finger to Sharaku's chest. One thing that would seriously hurt Shunnosuke and anger him was to be misjudged and have his ego hit by harsh, and maybe truthful, words. — I didn't say it out of pity, you don't even deserve it. Do you want to know why? Because you don't seem to know what you say can be hurtful because it's you, despite the soft talk and the euphemisms and the "please", the "thank you", and while I was trying to make you realize how disheartening it was for me to see you the way I just did and how much I love and care for you, what you do is to just interpret it at your own volition, in the most horrible way! What kind of person do you think am I? What do you want me to say, then?? Seriously!! — By the end of his venting speech he was hyperventilating considerably and part of that is due to the celerity at which the sentences were uttered with virtually no pause; the student's face would probably get redden moderately, out of anger, yes, but also a diametrically different kind of feeling that made that raging look in his features soften. Shunnosuke would stay still, experiencing the abnormal sensation of having his heartbeats out of rhythm, almost as if the boy's heart would jump out of his mouth. He said it. He finally said it, with all the letters. Darn, that was not the wisest word choice and he could perceive it immediately but well, too late to get it back. The boy's tone would get way more calm, almost submissive, and the way he stared at Sharaku was no more of hostility. It was sadness. — I...I just told you, can't you just take it right instead of making it any harder for me?...

Weakness:

Subject: Re: A hopeless place [Sharaku] Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:07 pm

Was....that so..? Not going to lie, Sharaku was taken aback by Shun's sudden explosive behavior, gritting his teeth as the younger boomed that he wasn't getting his words the right way at all. Not neccessarilly out of anger...for he knew that..well, he wouldn't put it as 'getting it all wrong', but moreso, that he just didn't truly understand the core of the whole thing. Of course not. He's never really been in a serious relationship with anyone, nor had he even had a crush on someone..ever. Because...when? Sure, he could have made an attempt through the last 4 years, as he was actually free to do what he wanted in that time, but he had plenty of reasons to distance himself from something that deep. Don't get him wrong, but he just couldn't tell some things about himself to everyone, and...what would be the point of living a life of pretend even with a partner? There was no single point in that. For hell's sake though, he didn't even understand the whole teen hormones part in this thing, of course he would easily take it wrong unless he was told directly. This just wasn't his field AT ALL.

Still, Shun's next words were...a bit more than he had expected, even after admitting to himself that he may have been wrong. And...he had no idea what to say, think even. Alright, fine...he could be insensitive at times, but he didn't do it on purpose...not 90% of the time. It was a stupid habit...he just couldn't see some things the way others did and it knew how to complicate his life from...many angles apparently, as discovered right now. What was he to do though...? Explaining...would be hard if Shun reacted like this to half his words, and it wasn't like he could just mend what he was saying mid-sentence. For he usually didn't realize he was saying something stupid until he was reminded of it by the opposite party. By that time, it was late already, no? This was bad, and he knew it. Damn it. For the whole duration of Shun's rant, he couldn't bring himself to do anything except staring at the younger in complete and utter...what was it even..confusion? ''I...actually...wish I could..'', he would start, addressing the completely last sentence of Shun's speech. He did...But to take it right, he would have to have a semblance of at least a decent enough understanding. He would trail of rather abruptly though when he realized...or moreso felt something wet dripping onto his white coat. '...??!...'

Nh, What?! 'Why am I...' Indeed, good question. Why was he even crying..? He wasn't...sad. But. What even? He would shake his head a few times in confusion, but leave it at that, as he wasn't low enough to attempt wiping his face into his clothes yet. ''Look.....It's nothing against you...if you'll even believe me, that is. I just don't know. I'm TRYING to understand allright? But, I don't know if I can. Call me however you want..this is simply how it is, and it's not like I chose to be such a mess.'', he would say, doing his best to not look away, though it wasn't easy. ''I don't think bad of you at all....I'm sorry if I make you feel that way....'' He would sigh, shifting about in his seat a bit. This was...just so stupid. Why did it have to happen...? Damn.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

...What? Sharaku crying? That Sharaku? That wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to release that outburst of indignation. They weren't supposed to explode and say harsh words to each other. Sure, Sharaku provoked when he underestimated his feelings, and one of the many things Shunnosuke has no patience to deal with is when he's lessened regardless of the way; still...to see that apparently helpless and fragile Sharaku right in front of his eyes, instead of the calm, composed, ever-smiling Sharaku tore the boy's heart apart and evoked in him emotions he barely held for anybody: remorse. He was never good with comforting someone without making use of rough, stern speeches...and then, he quickly regretted his words, despite not having said the whole extent of it, the bad names he thought of using against him, the curses...

— No no no, please nooo...d-don't cry, I... — The teenager said in an apologetic and almost desperate tone, leading his hands of thin, arched fingers to Sharaku's face, tenderly drying the tears away with his thumbs. Oh God, it was getting even more complicate and all he wished for was it to be simple. Pretty simple. In his mind, he would tell Sharaku how he feels, Sharaku would say yes because, well, what is there not to love about Shunnosuke when he put so much effort into being loveable? Or perhaps he would say no, his childish and inexperienced side couldn't help but to think the possible negative output about it all, then each other would go to their respective homes. But he never imagined they both would end up expressing emotions they didn't think they had in first place. Oh, darn. As the boy kept his remorseful silence staring back at Sharaku, he slowly opened his mouth to voice something...and nothing would come immediately. He just...didn't know what to say. — ... — It took him a tiny moment to process everything and finally utter something useful. — I believe in you...I didn't mean to... Look, I don't want to seem pushy, we can forget I told you everything of this, ok? Maybe get back to the shadow subject if you want, though I don't really know what I should tell you about those disgusting creatures. It's not like I've met many but I guess I've met enough for a lifetime. — A frail smile was sported with that sentence. — Or maybe not, since you said it's not a fun talk... We don't have to do anything or talk about anything that can make you feel worse...ok?

» Another Place to Rest [Sharaku]
» Back in this place, for the first time. [Sharaku]
» Need a place to try something out
» Hey! This place is legit.
» Phile's place to be Herself