It Was a Terrible Present (Cecil)

He felt the wetness of her tears against his skin as she covered her eyes with his hand. It was such a horrible thought...one that hurt him, one that infuriated him. That they would do that to someone. That it could happen to the people he cared for. It was an awful, horrible fate he couldn't bear to think of happening.
They both knew how terrible it was. Just how much harm it would do, the pain it would inflict. But it hurt even more to give up on ever recovering what was lost.
They were still there. They were still alive.
He couldn't snuff that. And...it seemed Nadia couldn't either.
They had to try. Whatever sacrifice it took.

The blond smiled wryly back at Nadia as she tried to push through the terrible feelings she was plagued with, and went back to working over her scalp, fingers dancing through her hair. "...it's no problem, Nadia."

Nadia wasn't even tired, yet every time Cecil did this to her Scalp, she felt like she was going to fall asleep. She'd take it now, curled up against him like she was. She was more than happy to simply drift off like this. Of course...it was morning, and there was still so much day left, and a busy night too, no doubt. So she chose to take her day off like this, with him, pressing her face into his stomach and smiling despite the wretched turning her stomach was doing.

She stayed like that for a moment, curling up tighter and tighter as if she was trying to be a cat in his lap, but just wouldn't fit. After a while of silence she finally asked. "Why do you do it Cecil? I haven't been a part of it for very long...I hardly know what the true purpose of it is. Gabe's dream, the task that was left over to Trinity, and by extension everyone else under it's roof...What are we doing, and why? I keep asking myself that...because the stakes keep going up and...It scares me a little." she admitted honestly. With the two of them there she could express the frail emotion freely. Would she fight through it if she had to? absolutely. But did that make her any less afraid of the outcome? definitely not.

It was hard to do anything but smile and chuckle as Nadia responded to his ministrations, watching as she pressed into and curled around him. He could feel some of the tension release as her body slacked, not completely dissipating, but still receding a little.
He could have continued doing this for a while, but it seemed like things were still bothering her.
"I mean...I'm relatively new, too. But...if you asked me?" He paused, and swallowed. "I can't stand for what they're doing. I can stand for what they're supposed to be, but not what they are. And I can't stand for how...unrepentant, they are over what they do. Like we should be thankful for it."
He sighs, fingers still idly working away. "Every horrible thing...it was always there. And if not addressed, it'll stay there. Forever and on, for everyone else to suffer through. And...I have a chance at doing something about that. Turning this all into what it deserved to be from the start. Even if the 'how' of it is uncertain. And it hurts more not to take it than it would to play it safe and step away from it."

Nadia turned enough that one hair-covered eye could peer up at him through the veil of black strands, thinking about his words. It hurt that as much as she herself wanted to help the people around her when the need arose, she knew she wasn't as good a person as Cecil was. Death didn't bother her the way it bothered him. The injustice was easy to ignore as just...part of the way things worked. But Cecil made her really think about it, and so did Kendra and Cylla...calling them Heroes.

She'd decided back then that she wanted that. To be a 'hero'. But at the time, she wasn't sure she knew what that meant. Now, after what happened to Gabriel, and what happened to Yuri, it was hard to see a happy ending or even success at the end of the road for them. Nadia knew she'd die someday, but that didn't mean she was eager to run toward it. Not now that she knew she had people like Cecil and Tomomi and Kendra in her life to care for.

The feeling in her stomach was still rock hard with tension, remembering the bodies of the dead men, but she couldn't dwell on it forever. Not even this long. She needed to find out who they were. For the sake of the playhouse, she needed to know. And...she'd heard of a place she could go to learn information...or at least heard rumors.

Seemingly out of nowhere she asked. "Have you heard of the Raidou Kuzunoha Detective Agency?" She asked Cecil after a moment's silence.

While Cecil couldn't pretend he knew exactly what was going on in her head, he could tell his words had set Nadia thinking on things. She'd stilled, looking up to him without uttering a word, mulling over something unknown.
He didn't expect what she said, though. "I...think so? I've heard of it, yeah, but...that's about it."

"She's a detective." Nadia began, voice muffled as she was still cuddling up in the boy's lap. "But there are rumors she investigates the supernatural. I want to find out more about those people who attacked us. Rather than trying online like Yuri did, I think I might go to her and see what I can learn from her..." Nadia said, finally rolling so that her face was upturned toward him. "You can come with me if you want, but I'm planning on going today. This afternoon. I...don't really want to sit still after this. I...want to do something to help everyone." It was true, she was tired of feeling like all she did was let people slip through her fingers. It was time to start acting. If she was going to be a member of the playhouse, it was time to go all-in. The look on her round, soft face was full of determination, a stark difference from the strained and confused face she'd borne when he came to find her outside the Inn.

When Nadia looked at Cecil, she'd see a smile splitting his face. The change that had come over her was one that filled him with joy, a new resolution found in the pits she'd fallen to before. For all the suffering of the day, she'd come out of it with new direction. His green eyes stared lovingly down toward her, drinking in the moment. "I think you'll be just fine with this one."

She smiled up at him, feeling the sensation of his affectionate gaze directed at her. She could feel his regard, and also his resolve. He had been here for her and helped her deal with this thing that - honestly - she would still need time to fully process. But he'd given her ground when she was sinking, and she loved him all the more for it.

She sat up, loath to break their embrace but filled with purpose now, and knowing that if she kept reclining with Cecil here in the grass, they would lose all their daylight sitting and talking. She had plans now, and she'd need to start sooner rather than later if she was going to have information to deliver at the meeting this evening. She turned back to her ever-supportive boyfriend. For a moment she just looked at him.

"You know, Cecil...You're different. When we first met, I told you that you had such deep sorrow, and that I wanted to see what was on the other side of it. I think we may have gotten there without even noticing." She leaned forward to kiss him, slow and purposeful. "A smile looks good on you, Cecil."

"Now!" She said, pulling away suddenly and bouncing excitedly to her feet, "I've got some sleuthing to do." Second-hand though it may be.

He - what?
...the blond found himself in something of a stupor after Nadia broke the kiss, mind racing a thousand miles at the words he heard. He...he hadn't. Had he? He didn't feel any...he didn't feel any diff...e...
...
Maybe he did. The sentiments that plagued him so much before still remained, but they were...suppressed. An edge had been ground off of it, if just for this moment.
He'd...done something good here. Something he could say that maybe, just maybe, he'd done right. That he'd made happen, and made good.
Maybe that was doing it.
It said a lot that he was willing to accept the possibility as the one that was likely here at all.

The blond was thoughtful as he looked up to Nadia. He had questions, but, he...asking them would hurt more than it'd help, and Nadia had her own path to follow. "...yeah. You do that. I'll be waiting for your triumphant return."