Rowing Down the River Way (Cecil/Gabe)

He almost laughed at what he was hearing. The familiar suggestion to focus on the now...but more than that, the thought of finding an inner peace. It was such a far-fetched thing to him, the idea that after all this time he might so easily find his centre on a goddamn boat trip where his mind was screaming at him the ills of himself and the world.
Yeah, that seemed likely.

The boy smiled wryly back at Gabe, grip on the boat loosening a touch. "It's good advice! Very good. Not easy to put into practice, though." He raises an eyebrow, settling in a little better as things turned to a familiar point of contention for him. "It would be great to be able to just let it all go like that, you know? I'd feel so much better. Be able to focus on what's happening in front of my, and just enjoy my life without a half million things scraping at the back of my mind. I've gotten better at that, but I'm still no good at it. And it's not something I've been able to do myself. Always, always always, something niggling away even in my good moments. Just doesn't wanna go away."

He slides his grip along the boat so he can better adjust himself, the constant awareness of the water beneath the boat drifting away on the tides. "It's good advice, it really is. But I've never really been able to figure out how to make most of that work. How do I shunt all these things from my mind? How am I supposed to find that internal anchoring point you talk about with meditation? How do I find any of that? I never really had a good answer. Nothing that completely clicks in my mind for me, let alone when I actually need it."

"Of course it is, I came out here to maybe find a better fishing spot with you as we rowed but finding inner peace in the middle of a river also sounds like a spontaneous sequence of events that I feel as if can benefit the both of us. "

At the same time, Gabe gets to pass on some information and teach what's been holding him together. He listened to his friend's troubles, it seemed as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Your inner peace can be described as your inner life. Think of that one good thing in your life that you have going for you. It can be anything really, picture it and things that emit the same or similar feelings from within, all of that positive energy. Then you are picturing it as an expanding balloon, it takes up so much space that there is no room for the negative things that are bringing you down. Maintain a good position and regulate your breathing."

Gabe then breathed through his nose after putting the paddle down and getting into position. After that, he breathed out of his mouth.

"See? You try.."

"...riiiiight." His...inner life. That was a way of putting it.
Choice of wording aside...this, this actually made some some sense. It wasn't some transient talk about the concept of tranquillity or - whatever, it was supposed to be. Some magic core he was supposed to find.
Just breath deep, close your eyes, and reflect on the good things in your life.

Reluctantly, he straightened up and relinquished his grip on the boat. "Well...here goes nothing."
Closing his eyes, he took the first breath.

Everything rushed in. Or at least, it felt like that. Gabe was quiet, and in this part of the city, things were still. It was a good environment to be alone with one's thoughts, but he'd always hated to acknowledge the things rolling around in his head. It always felt so crushing and overwhelming - something he had to shut out, bury deep, stash away, before it all crushed him utterly. He'd gotten better at that. But that didn't get rid of it, and he was stuck listening to it all now.

One good thing. He just needed to grasp one good thing...

That was...but he couldn't find him now.
...

The moments flit by, one and another. Little personal moments that he felt like he'd not really given proper thanks for before now.

He tried to hold on to them, take in the moments all over again, but they streaked away from him back into the confines of memory. And yet each time, they'd taken a little something with them, carrying along a little piece of his stress in their wake.
A shower of tiny stars that flew between his fingers to illuminate a black sky.

Cecil opens his eyes, still breathing with a steady rhythm, a passive expression taking his features as he processes everything.

Gabe observed as he took the same meditative position that Cecil did, he tried to put his breathing in a rhythm in the hopes that Cecil would mimic him as well. He did notice that Cecil relaxed a little more, but that wasn't enough.

"You are in a step in the right direction, knowing how to center those bits and pieces of light and form them into your sun. All of that fog and mist that clouded your head and judgment, it's dispersing, it's finding it's way out of your body with every exhale that you take. Breathe in......."

Gabe breathed in through his nose.

"And breathe out..."

Ater that, Gabe exhaled through his mouth. It was deep and consistent, really trying to relax his body.

" I want you to remember this, because that sun that you have, no matter it's size, it'll continue to grow as you make more bonds and continue to have more experiences. The negatives have a learning curve of its own, but that's all you'll allow it to be, a moment to learn. Never let it take anything else from you, not your happiness, not your joy, not the things that you hold dear. "

Cecil's breaths fell into the rhythm that Gabe had set, continuing on that way for a little longer before the boy looked up. His expression seemed a little wry, at this point. "You sure do have a lot of words of wisdom to toss people's ways." The blond lets out a little, quiet snigger, before giving a half-shrug. "Where does any of this even come from? You have a habit of sticking yourself in people's lives?"

"Don't know. To be honest with you, I think that the people that are in your life are put in your life for a reason. You live your life trying to find this answer, what am I supposed to learn from this person? Or what am I supposed to do for them? There is never going to be anything that specific, so you do what you can for the people in your life right now."

It's all he could really hope to do.

"Does it bother you sometimes? The way I am.."