Nadia Protection Squad Assemble (Kendra/Cecil/Nadia/Tomomi)

Kendra was seriously beginning to wonder if the taxidermy shop was cursed. She hadn’t wanted to come back, not really, but Nadia had been gone for three days and enough was enough. Kendra had tried to be supportive from a distance, sending advice to Nadia in how to take care of herself from her phone. But it seemed she was still out, citing the same reason.

”Do you think breaking in would be bad? Because we’re going to break in. Nadia needs us!” The last part was added with force, Kendra eyeing Cecil in particular. She wasn’t alone in front of the shop, after all. Cecil and Tomomi had joined her.

Perhaps Kendra wouldn’t have been as concerned as she was if Cecil  had been able to tell her what was wrong. She had gone and asked, and was stunned to learn that he had no clue. In fact, it seemed he and Nadia hadn’t been in contact for quite some time. It had angered Kendra that Cecil hadn’t even texted about her disappearance, so her plan of action was to force Cecil to come. She had ended up dragging Tomomi along once she discovered he actually knew Nadia, having met the male when he was working at the cinema.

Kendra quickly started to approach the lock, staring at it. “Plan! We either find a way to get in through here, or try through the alley! It’s perfect!” She was confident in her plan, despite the fact they could be arrested for breaking and entering, since she wanted to just bust in unannounced without a key. Really, she just wanted to break the lock, if there was one, and run in. She hadn’t ever tested the doors before during the times it was closed, too freaked out by the shop itself. But no fear was going to stop her from helping her friend, and dragging two people along as backup!

She didn't need to force him to come. She genuinely didn't. It'd been enough to know she was sick to get Cecil to visit Nadia. But of course, Hurricane Kendra cared not.
He had been looking for her through the week. He had noticed Nadia's lack of presence. He just hadn't realised she was gone altogether before he was told - and for that matter, hit himself when it was pointed out he could have just texted her. He felt an absolute moron...and as far as he was concerned, Nadia and Kendra must have agreed on that much.

He looks back apologetically to Tomomi, regretting that the poor boy had to endure all of this, before turning back to Kendra. "We could just, you know - knock on the door instead of breaking in and getting arrested? That isn't even how you get to Nadia's place." Gesturing the two to follow, he moves through the alley by the building and onto the stairs that lead to her door. He takes his position right before the door, and not seeing a doorbell, knocks.
"Nadia? Are you awake?"

There were many things Tomomi expected given his rather unique set of friends. But, when the girl he'd met once at the cinema suddenly grabbed him, telling him that his friend Nadia was missing, Tomomi's mind was abuzz and aswirl with thoughts. He recalled when she didn't reply to his text with anything more than a message saying she was unwell, and recalled the time she sent what he assumed was a drunk text. Was she becoming an alcoholic, and became unwell as a result? Regardless, no news was not good news.

Further that he didn't expect was that Cecil would be there, although in reality it should not have been surprising to see him there; he was Nadia's other half after all.

So, as Cecil dragged Kendra from the wrong place to Nadia's actual house, Tomomi followed along, holding his breath as he crossed his fingers and prayed it wasn't a worst case scenario. He was glad Cecil was here, although regardless, he couldn't help but feel out of place - he didn't know Nadia long, nor did he know enough about her beyond her other life style to know what might have been going on. So, Tomomi waited quietly as Cecil knocked on the door, jacket over his shoulder as usual as he leaned in, voice barely more than a whisper. "Maybe we should... Look for a spare key? Just in case she's asleep or something so that we can check up on her?"

Nadia and death had always had an odd relationship. Especially since leaving home and attempting to enter the world she'd always watched from a distance, she seemed to at once be running away from and toward death. It filled her with fear, but also with a sense that she wouldn't have to try so hard anymore either.

The Inn had been nice, bustling with noise and people, and things to do. It wasn't until she'd moved into the loft above Ars Moriendi that she had really begun to notice how much the quiet bothered her. When no one was around in her dark and empty apartment, she felt suffocated, like the world was going to shadows would swoop in at any moment and devour her. Would they carry her off into oblivion? Would anyone care?

Each day that she went without a message from Cecil, without seeing anyone, that feeling got worse. Now, as she stared at herself in the mirror, eyes tracing the lines of her own face in the mirror, and the reflection of the gun that was pointed at that other face. It was strange how foreign your own face could look if you stared at it long enough. Her darkened, listless eyes were pools of obsidian set into her too-pale face. She had dark lines under her eyes from being unable to sleep, despite having little else to do.

All she could do was think. She wanted to stop thinking, stop everything, and she was becoming convinced that if she did, the world around her would move on without worry. That part hurt the most. Not death itself, but seeing in her mind's eye as Cecil looked relieved that he could go back to spending more time on his studies or with Tomomi. Tomomi happily walking away from her collapsed form with his friend. Kendra would be able to spend her time worrying about something that wasn't Nadia.

Her parents would be business as usual. Nadia held the gleaming metal to her temple, still looking at her reflection. If she pulled the trigger on an actual gun, would the sight of her own blood spraying be reflected back to her eyes in time for her to see it before her body fell limp? A strange wonder to have, but it was something that passed across her mind now as the door thudded.

the sudden, unexpected sound made her jump, nearly pulling the trigger. That wouldn't be good. She didn't want whoever it was to hear. If she disappeared, it needed to be soundless, and without witness, despite how much she wanted to be seen. Dropping her hand to her side, Nadia set the gun on the counter and left the bathroom, leaving the light on and the door open as she did. It was probably just a post man or something. Maybe a special customer who wanted to contact Kaska. It wouldn't be the first time.

The look of surprise on Nadia's face as she opened the door and saw not just Cecil, but also Kendra and Tomomi, was almost enough to remove the listless look from her eyes, but not quite. Her eyes traveled from one to another, some semblance of her usual curious gaze was in there, but it was mingled with a deep apathy. She had become so numb over the last few days of knowning and allowing nothing but her own dark thoughts, that at first she couldn't form words or emotions to greet the people she would like to consider friends; or to greet the boy who she considered much more than that.

She swallowed. "H-hello." was the first thing she said, her voice cracking from prolonged disuse. "What are you three doing here?" She asked tentatively, and perhaps a note of something resembling hope had trickled into her voice, as she stood aside from the door and let it swing open the rest of the way, allowing them entry.

If they entered, they would likely see the light from the bathroom, and the door to it still open, but Nadia didn't acknowledge it, only watching the other three with a wary curiosity. What could all three of them possibly be here together for? Where they all here to tell her never to come back to school? did it take all of them to tell her how sick of her pushing and prodding they were? If the look of misery was as plain on her face as it was in her heart, she was sure she looked very small and pathetic with her arms wrapped around herself, looking sheepish as she leaned against the couch.

Nadia would open the door to spot an expression of light concern on Cecil's face.
That, however, quickly stopped being the case, as he seemed utterly distraught at seeing the state Nadia was in. "I...heard you were sick..." His expression twists into a grimace, and he comes in and pulls Nadia into his arms. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry -"
"- I had no idea, I SHOULD have had some idea -"
"- why the hell did I run around the school like an idiot looking for you when you weren't there I have a phone this is what phones are for why did I need that pointed out like a fucking-!"

He continues to babble wildly before squeezing her tightly. His voice shakes as he tears into himself. "I-I, I'm, I'm sorry. Y-You...y-you deserve better." His hold loosens as he opens his eyes and looks her in the face, worried and guilty. "What do you need? What can I do? Anything you need."

Kendra's mouth was open a little, a horrified expression on her face. To her, Nadia was a hero. To Kendra, Nadia was somebody unbreakable, larger than life. To see her like this hurt. It took her a few minutes to find her voice, despite her normal tendencies, even after Cecil had moved into action.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, Nadia. I just thought you were doing better. All of us should've, instead of not showing up when we were needed." She was looking at Cecil now, looking upset. Anger was how she dealt with things best. She was angry at herself, at Tomomi, at Cecil. Cecil mainly. Why hadn't they done more? How could he forget that? Why hadn't she just gone over in the first place?

"Because doing that much is going to make up for not seeing your girlfriend for a long time." It was completely unwarranted, but it didn't stop Kendra from making a comment. "He's right when he says you deserve better. You deserve better everything." She was still glaring at Cecil, trying to make a hole in his skull with her eyes.

As Nadia opened the door and withdrew, Tomomi felt his heart sink. She looked... Terrible. It reminded him of when he had panic attacks... No, it was worse than that, and Tomomi reprimanded himself for even trying to compare. Then, seeing Cecil go to comfort Nadia, Tomomi decided the best option would be to step inside, and allow Nadia and Cecil to have some space together. While normally Tomomi would call Cecil out on his self depreciation, there was a time and place... This time, he'd let it go. It hurt him to see Cecil talk down about himself right now, but, to speak about it now would be impolite at best...

Yet then Kendra spoke, Tomomi trying to hide the shock on his face as she suddenly tore into Cecil, lambasting him.

No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

This day was going from bad to worse. Nadia, who he thought was just a bit ill, was in pieces emotionally, Cecil was reverting back to hating himself, and now this person who he only met once was tearing into his best friend and likely destroying his self esteem. Quick Tomomi, think, think!

At the sight of the light emanating from the bathroom, a sigh of relief escaped from Tomomi, who had almost forgotten how long he'd held his breath for. Timidly and quietly, he spoke up, moving towards the bathroom, before stepping in. "I'm going to... Turn... The..."

He never finished the sentence however, standing at the door to the bathroom with his eyes wide and seemingly in shock, gulping, before turning around and running over, hugging Nadia tightly, ignoring Cecil's presence there and just silently embracing her.

Nadia was taken aback by the sudden hug and Cecil's sincere admission of guilt and fault. She could hear the worry in his voice, the way he was tearing himself open, as usual. She was numb to it at the moment however, listening instead to the words themselves, searching for the answer she was looking for. "...looking all over the school..." So he did go looking, just not in the right place... the realization cracked the pit in her stomach. She could see Kendra's worried face over Cecil's shoulder, her anger at Cecil, blaming him for this. It wasn't entirely inaccurate, his absence had been the catalyst for her current state, but...it wasn't as simple as that.

As Tomomi came to hug her as well, coming from the bathroom, Nadia blanched, feeling shame. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to disappear quietly into the night, simply slip out of their minds without a trace, to let them live as they should have lived. Now they were all here and hugging her and making her feel so... she wasn't sure. It was a welling up of pressure from her guts, and she felt like she might heave the sparse contents of her stomach over Cecil's shoulder. The world was a blur as her mind tried to process. "I didn't...I wasn't...You all..." She hiccuped once, fighting against a lump in her throat. Now she was causing them pain. All because she had tarried. If she had been more resolute, it would have been over by now.

But did she want it to be over? They looked like they really cared, like she really meant something to them. What if all the misery she'd been feeling was for nothing? Even if it was, she couldn't deny the emptiness still peeling away at the inside of her...She was so confused, that all she could do was pinch her eyes shut as the tears came. "I didn't think...you would come. I thought you'd moved on, Cecil. I...I'm always dragging you around and...you and Tomomi don't see each other much since we met and...you never ask me to go out or...it's just me pulling everyone along always just pulling, not asking if it's really...what anyone wants. When I stopped pulling, you stopped coming."

She pulled away from Cecil enough to look up at him, tears streaming down her face. It was warm in the embrace of Cecil and Tomomi, but somehow she still felt a little cold in her core. The words just started coming out and she couldn't stop them, even with sobs or sniffs, the words just jumped over them like hurtles on a racing track. "But that's okay." She stressed the word, forming a soft, rueful smile. "I'll disappear so your life can go back to normal. I was going to do it quietly, and I knew...I knew that life was going to just keep going without me. I-I don't mind." She tried not to look Tomomi in the eyes, or Cecil either. She didn't know if she could. She gripped the front of Cecil's shirt tightly, her voice going low so it was harder to hear, but Tomomi and Cecil who were right there would be able to make it out. "You won't have to worry about me forcing you to do anything anymore..."

"N...Nadia...?" He barely noticed as Tomomi joined in. Guilt made overwhelming by Kendra's fury at him started to mix with confusion...and then, boil over into something gut wrenching and sickening as realisation dawned.

He choked.
It felt like his throat had sealed up. That his next breath would never come. In truth he still drew air, but it was through laboured breaths that it came, as his body visibly shook.
Something dimmed in his eyes, barely present in the moment. His hold on Nadia became crushing and blind, hands clamping down on whatever purchase they found, and he looked back to Kendra with frenzied eyes that barely saw. "Shut the door shut the door SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR!"

His head snapped around to Nadia again, whipping his hair about so that it haphazardly settled on his face. "I'm not letting you go. I, I'm not letting you go. You can't go, you can't leave, you can't go anywhere if I don't let go. You can't disappear. You can't go. I'm not letting go. You can't leave. If I don't let go, you won't disappear. I won't let go..."
Nadia in a vice grip, he continued to talk in circles, barely receptive to the world around him.

Kendra's face changed from one of rage to one of horror rather quickly after she finally noticed what was in the bathroom. At Cecil's prompting, she ran towards the door, slamming it shut. That was a gun. Nadia had a gun. How could Kendra all of them let this happen? She was at the point where she had a gun in the bathroom.

"None of us want you to go!" Kendra began to tear up a little. "I don't want you to go! You're cool and amazing and you're my first real friend! Dont say that! A-And Cecil needs you! And you're a hero! And Tomomi needs you, right? So, you can't disappear!" She was just listing reasons at this point, frazzled and unable to really think. She just needed to prove Nadia had to stay.

The tears started to openly pour after that, reality beginning to really hit Kendra. She had been about to lose Nadia. She was about to lose somebody she cared about. What if she had waited a day later? Nadia would've... Nononononononono! Kendra rushed forward to join the hug, ignoring Tomomi and Cecil who were already there.

As Kendra evidently misunderstood Cecil's instructions, slammed the bathroom door shut - without turning the light off - and ran in to join the hug, Tomomi let out a silent sigh beneath his breath as he slipped out of the hug pile to make room for Kendra, looking around thoughtfully. "I... I'm going to go do some sorting out, and pour some drinks... Afraid I'm not a good tea maker though." He muttered, first going over to the open front door and gently closing it shut, before walking back over to the bathroom, bracing himself before opening the door, turning the light off, and then shutting the door again, doing his best to avoid looking at the gun - he'd recently offered Cecil to shoot him with the gun, and so to see someone else be willing to press the steel to their head and let it end... Made him shiver, even if he'd recently learned from Cecil that it wouldn't have killed him. Because it meant the willingness to die was there in Nadia at least to some degree.

Light turned off and door shut again, Tomomi went over to the kitchen area, trying to think back to when Nadia had invited him in. When she was pouring the tea, she went... Right, the cupboards! So, as if trying to mimic what Nadia had done prior, Tomomi moved around, before collecting a few different glasses, going over to the sink, and pouring some water into each cup. He tried his best to look normal, and in control of himself, trying to keep himself busy while also allowing Kendra, Cecil, and Nadia to have some space. He wanted to protect and help them all, but, he just didn't know how. So, he would help as best he could in a different way. They could provide support for Nadia, and he'd... He'd try to create as much support for them as he could.

So, he took another quick look around to see what else he could do to help, before spying a jar of hot chocolate mix and getting an idea. He returned to the cupboard, taking out a kitten mug he had spotted prior while collecting the glasses, and also a plain, oval tray from nearby. There, he set the glasses of water on the tray, before going about making a hot chocolate. As the chocolate drink began to heat up and he prepared it, he looked around for whipped cream for a moment, before realising that doing too much would be intrusive. Still, hopefully he didn't mess up the hot chocolate too badly...

As the hot chocolate was done, Tomomi placed it upon the tray, carefully carrying the drinks over to the others and setting it down on the nearest table, trying to offer a supportive but fragile smile as he spoke, his voice shaky, yet clearly trying to stay strong. "I um... I made some drinks. I mean... I-it's just water, but, um... I got you some hot chocolate Nadia? A-although, um... I apologise if it's not very good, because, I um... I'm not very good at making hot drinks... Or drinks at all. So, um, y-yeah, if anyone wants me to hand out drinks, please let me know, okay?"

Nadia's legs were weak, and she felt like she might fall to her knees if not for the crushing force of Cecil's hug. Her hands, which were on his chest, were pressed hard between them now, and she moved as best she could to slide them around to his back. Everything was happening so fast and she still couldn't keep up. Cecil was yelling, Kendra was crying and hugging her too, Cecil was clutching her desperately, like she might vanish if he let go. Like that was something he didn't want. It should be clear to her, through all this, it should be clear. Her heart, which before had been trying to decide how it felt, finally settled on shame. She had caused all this trouble by trying to find out what her life really meant.

This was her answer.

Tears were drying on her cheeks, her listless eyes were still wet with them, wide and curious and disbelieving. Still fighting to find words, Nadia reached a hand up to twine her fingers through Cecil's hair, fingertips sliding along his scalp comfortingly. Her other arm pulled back and found it's way around Kendra's back. Her body shuddered with a deep sigh before she burried her head into Cecil's shoulder. "I'm sorry..."

When Tomomi came over with drinks, the look Nadia gave him as she looked up over Cecil's should was filled with apology, sadness, and thankfulness, but she couldn't find words for him. It didn't seem like Cecil was going to release her yet, but if he did, she would take the cup without argument.

Things happened around him. Voices spoke. They weren't important. He has to keep her here, make sure she stayed, guarantee she'd never go anywhere...
...hmm? This was...that felt...

As Nadia's fingers ran across his scalp, Cecil's hold loosened. His head pushes back gently into the sensation as his babbling slurs to a halt, replaced by slow, shallow breaths. Still...his eyes still seemed dim.
One arm slid up to rest on the back of Nadia's head in turn and he looked sullenly down to her. While no longer so painful, his hold remained firm on her
"You shouldn't apologise for my own worthlessness. This is my fault. All my fault. My fault I let this happen. Drove you this far. Shackled you to something so hideously pathetic." He lets out a quiet, empty laugh. "I knew I'd drag you down...I just never imagined to these depths."
Cecil lets out a long, listless sigh. "I don't want to let go. Guess that's why you had to go this far to get away from my bullshit...I should have learned after the first time that I do this to people."

Kendra was shaking a little, still crying. It was still hard to wrap her mind around the idea that she could've lost one of her heroes. It was a real gun. She had seen Nadia fight, seen her be strong, seen her wield a gun, but the idea of her on the receiving end of one? It scared her greatly. The feeling of Nadia's arm on her back reassured her it was real, and Nadia wasn't dead.

"Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry!" It came out more forceful and angry than she meant it. "It's our fault. We should've done more. I.. Cecil should've been more present, but I had been texting you and I... I didn't show up! I'm the worst friend ever! I need to show up sooner! I should've realized something was off! I'm sorry! We're all sorry!" Kendra felt guilty. Guiltier than she had in a long time. She had nearly let this happen. She hadn't gone over sooner. Maybe she could've prevented it somehow.

She wasn't going to let go. She wasn't going to risk it turning out to be an illusion. She was scared still she had been too late. Nadia might be dead, and this might be all Kendra got.

As Nadia, Cecil, and Kendra all apologised to each other, Tomomi felt tears well in his eyes, before silently swallowing them back. No, he had to... He had to be strong. They needed someone right now, and while he didn't deserve the position, he had to try so they could have their moments. He'd just panic about it later, there were no problems there. Nadia fell quiet, while there was Cecil blaming himself, and Kendra blaming him as well. He... Didn't know what to do. But, he had to do something. So, for the moment, he stood there watching as they hugged, before shaking his head, and gentle as a feather, placing one hand on Cecil's shoulder, and the other on Kendra's.

"Hey, both of you just... Take a breath. I think... All four of us need to... Um... T-t-take a step back right now. Let Nadia have some room to breathe. Y-you um... Can't blame u- yourselves. We don't know what Nadia's thinking yet, so, we can't just blame each other... Let's just, um, sit down, and talk about this, okay? We've got some, uh, drinks, so, um... S-sorry for using your glasses and things Nadia, I can pay you back for it later if you want. Then, we should, um... Wait, and, Nadia, you don't have to respond, okay? B-but, um... If you need to go rest up, we can go grab a blanket or something, and just wait until you feel even a slight bit better okay? We don't need to talk about anything you're not ready to talk about, and we're here, so, just... Um... Try to drink the hot chocolate before it gets cold? Cecil, Kendra, um... Please just, step back for a moment... Cecil, you can't predict everything that would, um, happen, so, um, please don't drag yourself under the train for not texting Nadia? W-we can just wait for Nadia to be ready to speak, okay? And um... K-kendra, please don't blame Cecil or yourself. W-we all can say we should have, or c-could have, but, t-that's not in the matter yet, and we can just use it to h-help Nadia better in the future, okay?"

Having rambled long, Tomomi let out a heavy exhale, flopping down heavily on the ground, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide how much they were shaking. It was moments like these he didn't hate his panic disorder. It made it easier to know some things to do and say in this situation... Things he would like when he's at his worst. So, having flopped down, he offered a weak smile to the dysfunctional trio.