Give Me Tendies For My Tummy [Joseph's Work Thread]

Of all the days that had to begin raining, it had to be today. Joseph stared down at the window becoming drenched from the incoming downpour. It didn't seem that bad right now, but at the rate it was raining, it was going to become impossible for the work to continue. Hell, not like that would stop the Kerrigan's. Whether it be rain or snow, the family had the annoying tenacity to work through the elements. This morning, his brothers forced him to agree to help move equipment around at the fire station they were stationed. He would be paid for this, of course. But Joseph didn't give a single damn. He was getting paid more than his dumb siblings were. So why did he have to be a demeaning slave for them?

"It's because you broke my laptop." Josh, the oldest brother, growled as the wheel turned swerving the car around the corner. That night when a piece of electronic appliance broke down caused a painful and ridiculous row among all brothers. But why did they have to indulge themselves in useless arguments? That piece of shit was going a crusty eight years and was going to fail at any time? Why didn't they take his advice to buy a new on beforehand? Why didn't they even bother to save up? Right, because the soulless harpies they call girlfriends kept siphoning their earnings on pitiful dates and their seed. Goddamn he hated this family. Someday he was going to leave this clan of muscular mouth-breathers and protein goblins. This was a fervent promise he was going to keep when he accrued enough cash working as a Government dog.

Parking aside, Joseph gave a weak greeting to every firemen in the station. The garage was wide open and there was a plethora of equipment they needed to clean up. First were the comments and jests thrown about in cordial friendship, but he wasn't here for that. He didn't want to get involved with this mushy circlejerk. However, he dived deep into the conversation from time to time, at least to appear less of a grumpy loner and more of like the rest of the 'guys'. He had a reputation as the only Cadet in the family. They were heroes, but after working in a mission with some of them, they were just a freakshow joke. Half of the time on the job, the Cadet expected someone to pop up and scream "The Aristocrats!" out of the bushes. Maybe it would be easier to cope with how bizarre and of a joke the Cadet corps that way. At the least then, the whole affair would be an actual joke to not care after the punchline and laughing at it. But there was none and he wasn't laughing.

Joseph got grumpier anyway when they began work moving around the equipment. Each piece was ridiculously heavy, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with. He spent grudgingly years to lift weights and exercise to prep himself for the Cadethood. But it didn't make any of this shit any less of a pain or annoying. There was always some chattery asshole trying to get details about the Cadets. Any about the new popular ones recently talked about in rumors and gossip. God, Cadet this and Cadet that... It was going to drive him up the wall if the next person bothered to ask another question about the Government or Cadets. He was already sick as hell of the job, now they wanted to make him vomit? Fuck this day.


Was an answer he gave to another dumb firefighter while slapping the dust away from his palms. He smiled in the face of hope and idolizing. Like an scripted answering machine, the response was boringly pleasant. It was deluge after deluge of pleasantries when he really wished he was back at home. Hell, give him demons and he'll bitch less about this whole ordeal. Those inhuman shitheads made him want to die less compared to this humdrum work. He wanted to call them out on this whole shit, this whole faux camaraderie. Being all tough bastards were fine, but pretending to get along with each other gossiping behind like a bunch of housewives made him question his life decisions. Several pretending to be all friendly when outside of work they were fighting over some vapid bitch who wanted the biggest of the two. Were the rest of the Cadets like this too? Being mostly women, they were probably worse if his brothers were to be believed about their experiences with women. But why do these idiots of his blood and flesh keep trying to mingle with them? It annoyed the hell out of him, even more when they get dumped. Joseph couldn't even smugly say a "I told you so" at their faces.

Thank God time flew fast at times such as these. It was only a matter of answering automatically to the pleasantries and the curious questions and act as if it were no big deal. Losing track of the questions was easy along the way. But eventually, near the end Joseph began cracking out snarky and cheeky responses. His patience was dying, but work ended before he could actually reveal his true self. A fact all of his brothers were grudgingly glad of.

"Thanks." Josh muttered as the Cadet sat in shotgun.

"For what?" he asked while adjusting his seating. His other brother, Adrian sat there last time.

"For behaving. I know it's a pain the ass. But I needed some help and those guys did too. They've been saying you were a great help."

"If you say so."

"Wanna stop at Jakey's? My treat, I know you love those crispy tendies."

The thought of those delectable treats caused him to feel moister on his tongue. Sure he hated his siblings, but sometimes you just can't say no to a box of chicken tenders.

"The hell we waiting for? Step the pedal to the metal."

Words: 1029

+3000 VC for word count.
+300 VC for good grammar.
+300 VC for being an interesting read.
3600 VC total. Translates to approximately 69 GBP. Mommy is proud.

This was going to be great.

Never mind the goddamn tendies. Never mind lifting miscellaneous useless crap in the fire station. Cleaning out barrels and gun parts was the shit. Hah! As if. It was like watching paint dry on the picketed white fence. He always wondered what it was like being a pack animal, but he didn't think the earlier morning and the next afternoon was going to be that day for a lovely experience as this. It was going to be a few hours before he needed to run out of the house for the nightly patrol with the team of drooling weirdo morons. It wouldn't be so bad if it were just a gun or two, but everyone in this damned family needed one.

Why the hell did Mark need one when he was some doctor cutting people up? Was he going to implicate someone in a murder or something? Joseph grumbled angrily when he cocked back the slide after reassembling the next pistol. This whole affair was going to be as mindless as the last. He even tuned out the entire news blaring in the background. "...idol groups from Suzie Q have been reported missing as of yesterday. Law enforcement is still on the lookout for each member. Cedric Trent, the group manager, reported their recent disappearance hours after their last performance. He is currently under custody. This will be the..."


Great, more disappearances. Hasn't there been more of them in the previous month? What were the cops doing? Scratch that, what were the Cadets doing? As much as Joseph hated the corps, the organization was still rife with considerable mystery. Even when he swore to himself that he'd raggedly drag himself up the ladder, there was still a lot he didn't know about the Cadets or the Government. They were the top dogs here in this godforsaken urban shithole. But he always felt there was a sense of secrecy after the T dungeon. Now, that was a shitstorm all on its own.

His shoulders and spine shuddered at the memory. It was somehow annoyingly frightening. Their stupid giggle and laughs ticked him off to no end. But this "T" asshole, holy goddamn. He frightened him down to his very bones. Even barring the whole secrecy about the city's true self, the entire battle was a cluster of close-calls and frightening twists and turns that kept threatening not just their mission success, but their survival. There was a scary thought lacing through his skull. What if they failed and lost to him? Would they also be laughing like him? Like the rest of them? Like Serah?

The lead bullet fell with a dull thunk on the hardwood mahogany flooring. It caused him to jolt and hiss at such a simple mistake before roughly picking it up and jamming it inside the magazine. Who the hell was he kidding? Losing to a gigglefuck like that dude? That would be an entirely horrid joke. It was already bad enough he got out-played by some dumb mutt with a Persona. How the hell did that shit even work? Weren't humans supposed to be the only ones to summon them? Man, maybe he should've stopped by for class. It might be boring as hell, but at least he'd learn something new and relevant. Not like that boring drivel his teachers droned out from their flabby lips like some human caricature of an automaton. Shit happens. There's always those lonely and empty monitors at Bibliotheca to hit up later.

Each and every firearm were being put back into the cabinet piece by piece when he was finished cleaning and assembling them back together. It really sucked to live with a gun-toting family sometimes. Looking back, it was stupid to agree to that dumb proposition by his oldest brother for this arrangement in return for tendies and a new console. But it was also equally just as worth it. Too bad, he had to miss out on the latest releases and pre-orders working day in and day out. Was this what it was like to be a wage slave with personal responsibilities? Damn, he promised himself he wouldn't be like that.

The clock ticked and began to ring with gravity back in the family dinner table. The grandfather clock heralded the fifth hour of this pain in the ass afternoon. It was around about time to go and Joseph was going to miss out on the fifth session he was supposed to have with his friends. This sucks real bad. If this was what being an actual adult was like, according to his brothers, he might as well just live like a NEET. Man he couldn't wait until he could move out at his own place with his own stereos, plasma screen t.v.'s, and gaming rig. It sounded like heaven right now and a better reality than having to be a slave for his brothers and do Cadet patrols every night.

"Be patient, you goddamn ass," Joseph muttered to himself. No need to rush it over like an overreacting monkey injected with enough roids and cocaine to make an idealized and caricature of a Nazi ubermensch with down syndrome. There was time to enjoy playing his rig and consoles. Now was the time to gear the hell up tonight. It was going to be a full moon judging by the calendar and there was something different about it. He couldn't put a finger on exactly what. But, hell, who gives a shit? It was just going to be another patrol like usual. More dumbass demons out in the woodwork? Dead as fuck, simple as that. He was Joseph Kerrigan, not Mister Mook # 1571917 in Class Zero, to hell with these fuckers. No one was going to stop him from having his NEET paradise and the pinnacle of the corporate ladder.

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