The Magic Touch [Gabe/Susan]

OF COURSE he was trying to get a rise out of her, she should not have expected anything less. Especially not after karaoke, he did enjoy plucking at her nerves like harp strings to see how she squirmed. In a good way, or at least a benign way. If she would have thought any harder over this she would have realized that whatever he had in mind was going to bring her out of her comfort zone but she did not expect to get nude in front of people today. As much as he enjoyed himself, which was very fine and good and which kept her on her toes and could be enjoyable in small doses, there were certain lines she was not about to cross. A-at least this early.
"Heheh a little bit...!" her voice cracked along with his own laughter as she pulled him by the arm out of the room.

As he would near the exit Gabriel would profess to this being his plan all along. Which Susan had long figured out but the way he phrased it made her jaw go slack again as she was struck dumbfounded searching for things to say.
"A-ah... you are SUCH a goofball...! B-but I must change now, out you go~!" Her voice was a volatile mix of sing-song underlain with anxiety but she closed the door behind him firmly but carefully. She didn't wish to admit that he just made her heart skip a beat just now. As she shuddered and attempted to regain her bearings he sounded... reasonably disappointed.
"Y-yes, I will do that. Just give me a moment~...!" Susan called with her back to the door. She would wait until she heard his footsteps disappear before finally letting go of the breath she was holding.

"Krrrnnnsshhh... how is he able to do that...?" the flustered woman spoke to no one, holding her hands over her heart. As defiant as she seemed about the entire ordeal she had been incredibly impressed that Gabriel had found a very auspicious middle ground in providing a memorable experience, one that was touching, and one where he could satisfy whatever desires or needs he himself had. And the nonchalance he approached it at, his playfulness... it was all VERY attractive. Susan was not equipped to deal with any of this. Letting her heart get the better of her bothered her to her core, it was not pleasant to feel as if she wasn't in control of her own actions and being guided by reckless, stupid emotions she did not understand. They did not make any sense, she would need to work her way back to control once more.
"What am I even dooooiiiingggg...?" she moaned into her hands. This was normal. Everything was normal, everything was fine. He was her boyfriend and wanted to do romantic things, he thought she was attractive, she thought the same. So this was fine. A-and romantically involved people often did... things such as this with each other. And other things that she wished she didn't need to do but would likely need to.
"Why does this need to happen...? Why can't we just magically skip the phase where everything is uncomfortable and aaaawkwaaaaard...?" The short woman continued to pace and chew her nails and complain to herself as she mentally steeled for what happened next... made much worse with her own predisposition to thinking many steps in advance. It was not just the spa, it would set a precedent for the rest of the relationship and it was a rude awakening that, at some point in the future, she would actually need to be completely naked in front of him. Susan whined to herself.
"Mmmmmmm why does this have to be so ha-a-a-a-aaaard...? ...no, no I can do this. I can do this...! It is easy...! I just... need to approach this as the situation warrants...! ...uuuurgh Susan you are talking to yourself, you need to be normal today. Be normal today, please?"

After chiding herself and relaxing her frayed resolve she would actually make an attempt to change. The selection of robes didn't help her case. There were a few different styles and colors to choose from aside from size, which she would find strange considering that spas normally would be uniform in their dress but this could not be an ordinary spa. It was a couple's spa, centered around fantasy. Spa Castle. Why couldn't her brain have worked fast enough to figure this out before stepping through the doors? This was actually a fantasy become reality. It was a dream come true. She was at the spa with her loving boyfriend sharing a romantic afternoon together.

Just... why did it have to SUCK so hard to actually do?

"Dear God: please give me a heart attack so I don't have to do this, that would be great. Thanks. Love, Susan," she muttered to herself as she pulled one of the robes off the rack and began to change. She'd chosen a teal American style one with long sleeves, that would be most comfortable for the time being. She would open the door signalling that she was finally changed and prepared to endure what should be a relaxing event, it did not take long for Gabriel to show again. Wearing a Japanese style yukata.
"It appears I've chosen wrong..." she commented. Matching robes would be best but playing dress up wasn't something she was comfortable with yet. At least around other people who happened to know her. Perhaps later. She crossed her arms to keep him from staring at obvious places as he spoke about events to come. And mixed bathing. Her eyes widened at the prospect.


He wasn't being unclear in any way, shape, or form in what he wanted which put her into a precarious position. She did not want to be rude or ungrateful and she should open up and act romantically toward him, of course. At the same time she wouldn't be led to do things she was not yet prepared to do, and in this she would need to find the balance between the two.
"I... I-I will think about it." Which was exactly what she meant. It was not a nice way of saying "no", it was a statement that she would need to think about this. Perhaps she would take that risk and perhaps not, but she was definitely not jumping into something that serious without further consideration.
"L-Let's just take things one step at a time, okay...?" she would more or less plead in rising tones. That would likely suffice. She was already moving VERY far, she did not feel the need to throw everything on the table and see where it fell just yet.

Susan pulled her arms from her sleeves to hold her robes from the inside, moving toward one of the tables and speaking at the same time. She wasn't going to completely disrobe in front of him, that was ludicrous. But she had already agreed to this portion of their visit more or less and she would focus on the task at hand.
"We will decide as we go, i-if there is any cost associated to altering our passes or attending any other events I will take care of it. I... want to experience this in a way we can both enjoy and if needed I-I will make arrangements to ensure that." As she spoke she would lie face down with her head to the side, freeing her shoulders from the robe as she waited for Gabriel to do similar. The masseuse could remove the rest of it when it came time to do so. For one there was the obvious, but for two it would be extremely uncomfortable to lay naked on a table for any amount of time. She did not want to get cold. Also the obvious. But mostly the obvious.

"Hmm? No... of course not. I like your robe! As a matter of fact, I think the styles definitely tell a story of our individualities in taste and what we have interests in. However, these similarities in styles and what makes them different can compliment each other in unison. A perfect harmony so to speak, something like cooking. It's always the ingredients you least expect to make the most sophisticated flavor, that's kind of how I see us...we go well together."

He really did like her outfit, it didn't matter if her choice was a little different than Gabe's or anything, that was beside the point. But there was one thing that surprised Gabe in the sense of what Susan was doing or how she reacted to what he was doing. Even though Gabe proposed to make a few changes to their passes and reservations to what he had planned, she decided to hold off on that. For once, Gabe wasn't prepared for that, figuring he was going to act on behalf of susans best interests and gauge the room, but her wanting to go through as much as she could to see if she would enjoy it or not shed a bit of light on his girlfriend's demeanor.

Respecting her choice, Gabe would join her and disrobe a bit as he laid down as well in the opposite side. He looked to the masseuse and nodded.

"Be Gentle...ok?"

---

The masseuse went to work, the first part was the full body massage that focused on the back and the neck area. The deep rubs of the skillful hands worked effortlessly to pinpoint the sections that Susan had the most pressure in, and relieve them. Susan was soon flipped over and her front was worked on as well, ever so briefly and respectfully.

Little did she know, Gabe paid extra for excellent service, and he was planning on getting his money's worth today. The masseuse paid extra attention to Susan, making sure she was comfortable at all times and communicating.

---

When that was done, it was time to put on back the robes and sit in the chairs from across the room for the face masks and deep tissue massages to be worked on. As it was starting, Gabe checked on her a bit to make sure she was alright.

"How was it, did you like it? I didn't see anything, I promise. "

Always complimentary, he really did always try his best to impress her she'd noticed. Though flattery was a little off course, Susan did put thought into what she was wearing although to the extent of appearing neat and appropriate, to be seen how she desired to be viewed. But funnily enough he always managed to impress her in other ways and often with insights into himself. She had just been thinking the same thing though she did not say as much, the small woman had noted his choice of robe and did what she was best at and automatically: observed and gathered data. What it would mean for him to be wearing that to gauge his interests and experiences. An oriental robe was a very unique choice and paired with karoake for asian culture as an established trend, which would mean he may enjoy a visit to the Little Tokyo festival or another such gesture. And she happened to agree with what he was saying.
"Yes. Like peanut thai chicken," she smiled faintly. Very true, an odd dish with a mix of flavors that somehow worked, though they complemented themselves more than mixed in strange, unknown ways. Gabriel was an insightful, gregarious, warm-hearted and interesting man... and he absolutely confounded her. As soon as she had built a stable profile of his interests and demeanor he would surprise her with something from left-field, she had to conintually learn about him to keep pace. For all it was worth she often wondered what he saw in her. She did not think she was that interesting nor was she even remotely approachable, it was one of the things that perplexed her. She supposed it made him more attractive as he kept her guessing, a veritable puzzle of a man.

She would turn her head away as he also layed himself on the table, giving him a certain level of privacy as he partly removed his own robe. Lord knew she did not want to be stared at so she would also avoid staring. Smaller reality of the situation in that she did not want to be awkward about it but many things were often done for several reasons. She sighed softly at his instructions to "be gentle", he knew that they were aimed toward her. And for good reason, she did have something important to bring up. As the masseuse approached her and she could feel her presence she would need to address her own concerns.
"Please be gentle on my neck area. I have an injury there," she stated clearly. Being strangled by Seshat every night would definitely have long-term effects, she would rather see a professional chiropractor about the matter. She would tense at the massage and eventually relax until she was eventually flipped over to which she'd squeeze her eyes shut and whine quietly. It didn't last long but it lasted long enough to get her to tense again.

When all was said and done Susan would wait for Gabriel's footsteps to open her eyes once more, signalling that he was likely clothed and with his back turned. She would hurry to put her own robe on before gingerly walking to sit next to him. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back with an exhausted look on her face as he inquired on how she was.
"I should hope not. I feel like we'd be putting the cart before the horse..." she remarked, but she was only half-joking. Susan had no problem with Gabriel seeing her... like that. When the time was right and far enough into the relationship but this was rather sudden. It was flattering but... she would rather be comfortable with where they were first.
"I am still thinking..." she hummed, lolling her neck. "...I suppose I didn't particularly enjoy the exposure, but I have an aversion to being touched. It did work some of the tension out of my muscles, I have been running around at night too frequently and this will do wonders for my skin. It does not always matter if something is enjoyable or something you like, but that it is good for you and important that you do so. I am... mentally and emotionally exhausted from this exchange but I cannot deny that this is something I sorely need and I appreciate you taking me here."

Susan would look Gabriel in the eyes as she spoke. She would not lie to him and tell him she enjoyed it when certain things did get on her nerves and she would likely do this again under more relaxed circumstances. But she meant exactly what she said and she was indeed thankful that he had brought her here. The short woman had been neglecting her body lately anyway, pushing herself past the point of exhaustion and moving forward regardless as she was obsessed with proving herself. This was for her own benefit whether she was in love with it or not and she could not deny that.

As her face was done up she would make another statement about how she should be treated in regards to her own injury.
"Please avoid my neck for this, it is injured and I don't want to risk injury." The bruising was still apparent in certain spots, she would definitely need to see a doctor about it. She loathed the thought of needing to wear a brace but she would do whatever she had to.

"Ahh, well, don't you worry too much about it. Once we finish up here, we can head on out to the hot tubs outside. The temperature is pretty decent for things of that nature, and maybe we could find a bathing suit of some sort to rent while over there. I already have a pair of trunks, so i guess you would have a bit of time to figure out what you would want to wear inside of it. But it would be a good followup to all of the massages we've been getting. "

The masseuse was going to wrap up the deep tissue portion pretty soon, so they still had the rest of the day ahead of them in the sense of the rest and relaxation that he promised Susan. At the very least, Gabe kept his eyes open in order to ensure that Susan was still having a good time and that nothing would to go wrong.  It was all for her sake, and the embarrassment of not being able to properly execute a surprise of this magnitude said a lot about Gabe to himself in the sense of his own capabilities and management skills.

Was it pride? No one could really tell.

---

Afterward, Gabe got up and looked in the mirror.

"Not as good looking as the supermodel cadet companion I have with me today, but at least in easy on the eyes. "

Smiling at Susan, he would hold the door for her for them to go to their next adventure. As he took the lead once again, there was a man and woman section that people needed to go through before heading to the outdoor giant hot tub.

"I can wait for you inside of the hot tub, you can take your time to get dressed.  Inside, there is a front section of bathing suits you can choose from within the changing room. No charge, so no worries. See you soon, alright?"

With that, Gabe departed in the men's section to change into his trunks and head to the hot tub. It was in there that he waited for susan to arrive.

"Hmmhmm, you really did think of everything, didn't you?" Susan gave Gabriel and approving smirk. He never ceased to amaze her, and she began to understand why after today and why she was so attracted to him. They would visit the hot tub, which was an incredible alternative to shared bathing in that it was the same activity more or less but with a little more privacy. He had planned that out especially for her, and would realize that it would be a good activity after the deep tissue massage. Gabriel was not just acting selfless, anyone with time could offer someone something, assistance, what have you. He was cleverly accommodating, paying attention and making intelligent decisions based on what he was presented with. He planned everything out and adjusted the plan in ways that mattered. It often stunned her just how forward-thinking he could be, even if she never truly forgot.
"I would like that."

She had been very glad he had been able to take her commentary well, Susan had been afraid he would be upset and reasonably so. For him to go through all this trouble and for her to act ungrateful. Though she was, even if she was not ecstatic about being touched by strangers. She would be appreciative honestly and completely forthright with him, he deserved nothing less than absolute clarity. The massage would finish and Susan would stand and stretch her shoulders. They did not touch her neck at her request and it felt inordinately stiff, in time she would have it tended to. As she pulled one arm over the other she rolled her neck and caught Gabe gazing into the mirror. The meek woman stifled a giggle. He was likely unaware he was posing but she noticed well enough.
"How vain you are, buuuut... perhaps for very good reason," she teased, plucking at his robe as she drifted past him.

He held the door for her like a proper gentleman and led her further, her heartbeat quickened as they closed to their destination. Everything was all well and good in theory. In theory. Ah yes, theories, the things that only exist in her mind and aren't anything how reality is at all. It didn't remove the impending embarrassment or lessen the impact. Susan gulped.
"Y-yes, I will see you soon..." With Gabe having gone his own way the short woman would hesitate and enter the changing room. She took her time, of course. For one she had to choose the objectively best bathing suit. Something she was comfortable with but was appealing without being risque. With enough time to fret and wring her hands and overthink things too, of course.


It took quite some time before Susan would appear again, an uncomfortably long time. The timid woman had to fuss over every little tiny detail and that took ages. But eventually she would appear wearing something traditional and black, which honestly wasn't a difficult or surprising choice but it still had taken her forever to decide. She stood at the edge of the hot tub for a moment, Susan's face pink and filled with chagrin and embarrassment as she held her arm looking none too confident. Her eyes wouldn't meet his. It wasn't pure hesitation, he wanted to look and comment. She knew that. She would allow it and pretend for a brief moment that she didn't mind being stared at and hesitate a few moments longer before climbing in and dipping her head under the water to get even body temperature, all the while internally screaming at herself that this was technically more preferable to the massage they'd just experienced.

"This is... v-very n-nice..." Susan would struggle to speak. She found it necessary to convey after all she considered that yes, she did appreciate this and made a poor attempt at being more positive. She floundered for more words to engage him with but, completely out of her element, it was not an easy task.
"I have never really done this before. W-with anyone else that is, b-by myself is different, b-but this is... an experience..." she rambled. She was still very unaware of how she felt about the entire thing outside of bashfulness, unfortunately the heart was a muscle she didn't engage terribly often and romance was completely foreign to her, even if this was supposed to be romantic. Everything worked better in her fantasies about things like this where, you know, she never had to actually DO anything and could think about it instead. The doing was scary.

Susan cleared her throat and sank into the water a little.
"Gabriel, what do you think... about all this...?" she began, "Us I mean. I am... I-It is just so... this kind of thing is perplexing to me, I did not underestimate when I told you I was bad at it. ...I-I think I'm doing better at communicating...!" The short woman beamed an uneasy smile as she spoke. At minimum she made an effort to go out of her way to speak to him. Even if it was one text a day. Or two days. Sometimes three if she was caught up in something intense but it was better than a week of radio silence as she'd displayed before. They weren't normally the cutesy couple's text either, or texts just to say hello, most of the time it was random thoughts or questions she felt like sharing or thinking about. And she had no idea if she was doing it right.


Susan ran a hand through her wet hair and looked Gabriel in the eye. If one thing was forever true it's that she was no good if she could not understand something. She needed an assessment and would get one in the only way she knew how to request it.
"Am... I doing good at all? What can I improve on? ...I am not even joking, I am THAT lost, it's almost sad enough to be funny," she spoke bluntly, chuckling a little incredulously. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to admit just how inept she happened to be at something, or to ask for help. But at least that used her head. If she could get a second brain to replace her heart that would be swell, at least she knew how that one was supposed to work.

"Oh, and the woman of the hour has arrived. You look quite lovely in that bathing suit. "

Once Susan reappeared, Gabe did catch himself looking at her suit. She had good taste, along with the suit itself matching the majority of her curves. However, he wanted to keep it to a minimum and give her a little bit of a break. Everything seemed to be a first for her and Gabe wanted her to take it in little bits and pieces. As long as Susan didn't freak out or completely duck out in embarrassment because of Gabe's actions and accommodations, things were going well.

Or better yet, it made Gabe safe to assume that things were going well so far. However, Gabe was curious.

"You know, I really don't understand. Maybe it's because you provide yourself as a career woman, which is understandable. But for the people who did fancy you and wanted to properly court you, you never was able to have experiences like this. I'm now starting to learn more about the "Susan Effect", gauging the levels as if I'm working at a nuclear power plant to ensure that I'm both being mindful and respectful of your feelings, but maybe it seemed to be too much of a challenge for them? Well, either way, i'm glad I was able to meet you myself. "

She was definitely getting better at communicating every day, but Gabe was a patient man. Susan could move at her pace and it wouldn't bother him.

"All I need you to do for me is .... be yourself. These things take time, it's an adjustment. Having a relationship, a companion you can talk to and go through all the ups and downs of life with, it might not be something you are used to. Even me, Something like that... even when desired it with someone...and... it's lost.... self-loathing was the only way I could rationalize it. You become so desperate for everything to make sense that you would seek the nearest possibility in order to resolve that gut-wrenching feeling in your heart. Everything.....happiness..doubt... nervousness..... it's all a product of forming a close bond with someone you care about. "

Gabe then sat back and closed his eyes, letting the steam take over is senses. He still felt like Athena abandoned him and felt like Susan would do the same, but he didn't want to make it show and ruin this moment. It was at these rare times that Gabe found himself trying to make peace, but it was also the moments where he found himself to be the most vulnerable.

"I don't want you to rush anything... I want you to not live by my expectations...but...... to observe my examples and come up with your own answer... that doesn't even have to be equal to mine or what I do just.... an answer of what you feel like you should do and could do more... something that comes to you as a realization of what you believe you can be as an ideal partner. Whatever you come up with is what I'll accept, that's what it means to accept all of you as an individual. Or... that's what I believe anyway."

Just as predicted Gabriel had a compliment at the ready. She knew that he would, he always did. Susan met it with a small thank you and dismissal of the topic. The businesswoman never really liked acknowledging her body or looks even if complimented. She was confident in things she was astute at and unconfident at things which she performed terribly and honestly her fitness had huge amounts of room for improvement. She hated exercise, couldn't stick to diets (surprisingly enough), and struggled with her weight... though, she was losing more recently. Mostly because of Cadet mandatory training and running for her life every other day. Sad to say but it was impressively effective. Nevertheless, even if they were true, she was horrible at accepting compliments.

Gabriel was... shockingly frank in his assumption. Which was refreshing. Not that he never was but most people never were that up front about what they thought or believed. It was an interesting and unique insight, especially when he put it like he did.
"I am very glad to attribute being picky and distant into a scientific term," she smirked. Susan wasn't offended, rather it was amusing to her. "That may be, honestly I didn't often consider potential relationships in the past or seek them out. Part of it was work but it is a two-way street. I have... not very often taken advantage of any offers like that and not out of ignorance, though I'm sure others may have approached me in the same way. Priorities, just as I may not be worth the trouble to some people others have not been worth my time. I am a very choosy person." Most of the time Susan was content to be by herself and live the life she carved out for herself all alone. It took a rare and particularly noteworthy individual to make her endless peace and solitude and independence seem like the sub-par option. And Gabriel happened to be that individual. He was interesting, smart, ambitious, gregarious, patient... it was perplexing why he had gravitated to her, as dull as she was. She would not complain but she would likely be confused for some time.
"Me too. I am very glad to have met you, Gabriel."

Susan would lean back as well, halting at cowering underneath the water at least a little bit as she listened to him speak. Even if it was melancholy and a bit uncharacteristic it relaxed her somewhat. The adventures, the compliments, the romance and tension, of all of it all she had really wanted was to hear what Gabriel had on his mind. It was a very beautiful and complex mind, laden with hidden sorrow and even tenderness to that sorrow. His optimism wasn't a façade, it was a core to his being and she admired that he could find such meaning in his own turmoil. All Susan ever found was emptiness in hers. The short woman would stay silent for a time, feeling more content in the silence with Gabriel than words could ever serve to describe. She was not sure if she agreed to his point of view, to accept someone wholly and completely on who they were, as an individual. Because individuals could be terrible, evil beings capable of grand harm to everyone around them. But... she could understand and could feel the same. To accept someone who strived for their ideal self, who could believe themselves capable of  achieving their full potential, not only that but to actually work toward it. It was a difficult question to answer, he countered her realistic question "what can I do" with philosophical "what do you think you should do?". It may have been aggravating if she didn't see the purpose behind it. Sometimes the simplest step to doing something was just to do it.

"............I should be more considerate and less self-involved. That is the root of my misgivings. That is what I will do." It was clear to her when he had put it the way he had, well, nearly the way he had. She had to connect some dots first. But he was bending over backward for her, being attentive, having her temperament in mind every step of the way... and Susan was not. Because she was not used to needing to consider other people in her routine, especially how they felt. It would be uncomfortable. She would sacrifice her time. But that was the correct approach to what she wanted. A partner. An equal. The businesswoman did not a lover or a protector nor a hero nor idol, but someone to share with. And Gabriel had shown his excessive dedication which meant that she was falling behind, not that she was meeting his expectations but failing her own. And she could offer what she did best, which wasn't a trophy or fangirl or seductress. Susan was a problem-solver and Gabriel had problems that needed to be solved.

The silence hung as Susan processed what everything meant and let the heat of the spa wash over her sore muscles.
"..........I accept you," she breathed, as direct and up front as he had been. Even if she could not completely understand where he was coming from, his temperamental values, she admired them and she admired him for who he was. So perhaps he was right and she hadn't gotten the memo yet. But she was not finished being blunt.
".....did she hurt you? .....or do you miss her?" It was easy enough to see exactly what was bothering him, at least to her it was. Unlike anyone else it wasn't a trap or trick question. It was a question and one she didn't think anyone had asked. A simple question, nothing more, and they would work from whatever his answer would be.

"It does take a while for someone to grow into the person that they were meant to be. You have to remember my dear Susan, I was a hustler after the great divide occurred. Before I started to run the casino, I was the one at the tables, doing everything I could in order to win big and get out as fast as I got in. You can tell that I probably didn't think that far ahead, so many things occurred and I felt like I wasn't given any choice on how to live. Well, the higher up, the man who adopted me and the real owner of the lucky clover conglomerate...he gave me a choice. What I'm trying to say is that it takes....getting to meet that right person or special person in your life that bring about that change in yourself. I don't know what kind of man I would have turned out to be if it didn't happen, but all I know is that it didn't happen instantly."

Maybe Gabe should go into more detail?

"Let's say that you met me during those times and we have known each other from then until now? Would you still see me as a child? Or as a man?"

Gabe chuckled a little as he let her think on that scenario for a bit. But he did hear the conclusion that Susan came up with when Gabe tried to make it seem like he would rather it be something that she naturally came to conclusion instead of him pressuring her.

"As long as the way you came about it with nothing behind any sort of negative feelings of you not doing enough, I wouldn't want that to be the reason. Everyone tends to live their own lives in Endymion, just the idea of making it was probably keeping us going until we found a fulfillment in our lives that correlated to this new reality. Even with the years that went past, I wouldn't be surprised if someone felt like they couldn't share those moments with other people. But that's only a small windowed perception of how I see things at a time, doesn't necessarily means it has to be true. "

But when Susan mentioned "The one before her" the playfulness stopped as Gabe's face froze in a serious expression.



It felt like time stood still, Gabe's silence seemed to bring about a particular aura. He was confused, he didn't know what to feel, but he felt like it was right to express it the best way that he could.

"I don't know. Should I be hurt? I was wondering if the justification of holding things so closely is reasonable? Maybe my search of reason in all things is unreasonable? Maybe you don't need a reason to disappear, maybe I'm wrong to feel something. If it did anything, it reminded me of how you can lose things immediately, without question and without warning. With any sort of pain that it may have brought, I refused to let it overshadow the lesson I decided to learn from it, to cherish the people in my life and the special moments that we share with them. A good way to live on is to think positively, to look forward towards a positive future. But as much as I want to wish and dream for it, reality can be less than half of my expectations. "

Gabe then looked up at Susan and smiled at her.

"With every moment that I spend with you, I feel myself grasping onto it in my mind and replaying the scenarios. I'm not saying you ever will without notice, but if you ever did, I don't want to forget anything. And..... i'll... try not to cry...."

He breathed out, this was alot harder than it looked.

"Do I miss her? Yes, I am concerned for her wellbeing. Romantically? I might understand the job and career of a person, and maybe it's selfish of me to thing so, but if I wasn't worth enough to even say goodbye... it probably didn't matter to her. I might even go as far as to say as I probably didn't matter to her. I could have been a trophy of looks, wealth, status, maybe my young age to top it all off adds value. All of these materialistic things we feel like we need, it becomes our persona, and our true selves are only in the shadows of them. But I'm not my wealth, it's only a reflection of my effort. My charm is an evolved form of communication associated with my survival, my status is a result of expectation behind my hidden reluctance of paying an eternal debt for the man who raised me, regardless of his shady past. I'm not ungreatful...no... but not too long I had a book store and three published manga novels of different genres, it's all in the past now, with my present being my second choice."

He said a mouthful, but he felt he could conclude it with this.

"My life was spared by a demon, I got to grow up and overcome the poor health I had in my childhood, people denied that i'd make it without special care. My original career perished, but my secondary rebounded it to be something far more than I could have made...money wise. A girl I cared for walked out of my life, and the person who walked in... I grew to have an undeniable admiration for than ever before. My entire life Susan, Gabriel Gatsy... is a man made of second chances. "

That was right, he was a gambler at some point. Which was... surprising? Perhaps so, perhaps not. He did have an abundance of charm that she'd noticed and a powerful personality, he could be very forceful at times. It left her guessing at first if it was genuine or just a personality quirk to get what he wanted and get ahead but that became irrelevant overtime. She had seen past the charm already and behind the compliments was someone interesting, generous, and ambitious who deeply cared for others. Part of it was impressive, he really did need to survive on his wits for so long, and his experience ran opposite of her own. He had doors opened for him from his existence. Hers had only closed as far as she had seen it. But perhaps again that was all a matter of perspective. And he posed a very unique possibility.

Susan placed a finger to her lips as she thought on his question.
"...hmmmm......as a man who grew up to be a boy. I honestly can't fathom how you have so much energy, and this... wanderlust I think is a good word. It's actually quite impressive." That was another thing she admired. He had dreams. He had seen how terrible the world could be and he was still able to dream, to reach undeterred for limitless possibilities. He could see the innate good in people no matter how small. That part of Susan had long ago died. Gabriel could see in color what hers was only shades of monochrome.
"...I can't say that I've been in similar situations, most of my life post-Divide was mundane. I've... never really had someone like that before, as an influencer that is. It would be more apt to say that it's less that I haven't found one yet and more that I haven't decided to look." It was true, she couldn't recall anyone such as that in her own life. Most of hers had been solitary. There were not lucky breaks, quite the opposite, everything she had achieved she had fought tooth and nail for with no one at her back. And here she was much less enraptured with the intricacies of life than he was, likely because of that fact. It was difficult to tell whether she simply never noticed those opportunities or never needed them at all but it all lead to this road as it were, one where she could have everything she strived for and still feel hollow and where he could be more than satisfied with his own personal fortune.

There was really nothing before this, at least in her eyes. At least nothing she wanted to share as openly as he did. Everyone had their moments during the Divide, they did what they could to survive. Her experience had been fairly mundane. She went to school. She got a degree. Then she got a job she excelled at. Everything else was... a little extreme and not a good bonding experience. So he was exactly right, especially about being so focused on her own life.
"Nono, this is my decision. I can't sit here and preach about time investment being a sign of personal investment without, y'know, actually investing any," she reassured. It wasn't apt to say that she felt guilty about it, but she wasn't meeting her own standards she set. Which she should be doing. So being more attentive was simply the right thing to do, guilt played no part in that.

It did play a large part once her sharp words cut into him however. She had taken a perfectly good moment and needled into it until she destroyed it again. This hurt him. She knew that. He had brought it up more than once, she could tell that it weighed on him but also that it was a weight he bore alone. She didn't think he ever spoke about this to anyone else, her intention was to be that outlet. But it seems she ripped open the stitches instead. Susan chewed her lip and remained silent as he spoke about his pain and how he tried to embrace it and learn from it. She never tried to embrace it as he did, she donned stronger armor instead, took more steps to prevent the pain. He was so much stronger than she was. She could identify with it, at least somewhat. Not his specific heartache but his drive for achievement and perhaps that was what she had seen. Did she appreciate that he was accomplished. Yes. But only in that it meant that he was capable and had the drive to reach those heights. She tried herself all the time and made that shadow. Her accomplishments were a testament to all she wasn't just as his were, a result, not the actuality. A heart beat beneath the money and the success... for both of them. And they found themselves looking at the same window from different sides of the glass.

"I... don't intend to disappear..." That was all she could promise. She did not plan on abandoning him but there was a reality looming in that she was a Cadet. There may come a day when her life might be taken. She would fight with every inch of spirit she could muster to avoid death but in the end some things could not be prevented. She stared at the water as it frothed beneath them. She felt terrible for opening closed wounds like this and felt she would apologize. But she wouldn't, as was her weakness in being insensitive. Susan wanted to help, and sometimes a deep wound required disinfectant and open air. She remained quiet as she searched for the words but eventually they would come.
"I.... don't think you need to be justified to feel hurt. It is not something you are able to control, not always. I know... I know that this hurts you. I can't feel it in the same way but I am aware that it bothers you, and I... assumed you were not speaking about this to anyone else. It is very... like you... to take something so painful and try to look for the bright side, you always do that with people, and I might be intrusive but I just wanted you to know that...... I have noticed. I'm aware that you're struggling with it and I could never truly understand but... I... thought it would help you to know that someone knows. I don't mean anything by it I just... know that it is eating away at you."

Solemn as it was she did not want him to suffer with his dilemma alone. Even if she could not empathize with this situation he was wounded by it and she took notice of all things. Susan was no stranger to being unaware of how she should feel about things and talking it out rarely helped her personally but she couldn't sit idly by watch him deal with it by himself. He had revealed a lot about himself to her in his life. His past debts to both life and upbringing, his career, and the pattern of compliment she had caught.
"You have accomplished a lot to be here today," she mused, as close to accepting the compliment as she would get. Other than revealing a little of herself.
"...I wish I could see things through your lenses, and be grateful for what I have myself but... I have not been for a long time. I haven't had any second chances myself, just contingency plans. I... wasted my childhood in study instead of making friends or finding any meaning as to why, I can say similar for college. I'd even switched my major to something more realistic after the Eternal Divide happened. And my career... the accolades don't mean anything to me, my next choice was the Cadets where I could do something that matters but that comes... with... its own issues..." Susan sighed as her eyes darkened. That was something she would not speak of. She could not speak of it to anyone. Not Cadet. Not civilian. It was a festering would she would need to hide from the world.

"This is... a first for me. Us, that is. I am very happy because I am... *haaaaa...* I am personally sick of my own second chances, reminding me of how many broken dreams I've left on the way here. ...I want to hold onto this one." As always she couldn't stop herself from having the melancholy brought out of her around him and dampening the atmosphere. One day, after he could make her heart beat long enough, maybe it would do more than bleed. Susan blamed herself for having someone to open up to and only having the worst to put on display. She blinked before deciding to acknowledge it and break at least a little of the tension.
"......poor moment. It never stood a chance.... I am sorry Gabriel, I really don't mean to do that every time."

Hearing Susan say that she did not attend to disappear was reassuring. He didn't quite knew of the complications that would cause a person to disappear beside death or kidnapping. But since she was with the cadets, it crossed Gabe's mind of coming to get her if anything was to happen to her during those missions. But what of his standing with the rest of the terrorists? Saving the enemy? That's all they would see while Gabe knew that she meant much more to him. He felt the same about Athena as well, it would have been difficult to fight against her, and fighting the urge to lash out against those who wish her harm would have been the challenge he needed to face, the challenge he now has to face with Susan in the event that a time like that does come.

What would be the situation or opposition in that case? Would there be something that Gabe would be capable of doing at the time when it came to preventing the worst-case scenario? Leading a double life, or even having the second life weigh in on the first was difficult to juggle.

"It does help to talk about it sometimes. I wasn't expecting to, I think I was going to just put it off and simply abandon the notion of speaking about it. The time dedicated for it could be used to comfort others or becoming that pillar of support for someone else. There would have been so many other things I could have done instead of dwell upon my own weakness."

However, Gabe did end up laughing when it seemed as Susan went on over to a moot point.

"No need to apologize, looking at my life, a life full of second chances, must be meant to tell you that things such as this are the opportunity to rekindle the dreams you thought you lost all those years ago. Another door will present itself and if I am that door, I will do what I can to help make those dreams a reality."

He was lightening up it seemed, even after her melancholic intrusion into his comfort zone. A little thought nagged into the back of her mind that this was his reaction so such things and he may still be upset, but looking on the bright side of things as he had shown before. Everyone had their preferences when they were in dire straights. Some became angry, others despaired. What they shared in common she believed was that they both clung to hope, despite appearances to the contrary. Gabriel always faced himself to the sun, she herself refused to admit defeat. Both very different and yet both sides of a sense of optimism. Even in his own pain he still put others above himself. Susan frowned.
"Gabriel... you must take care of yourself. It... is not weakness to be hurt by this, it is human, and terrible things happen that you cannot control. It isn't selfish to think of yourself, people care about you too and... neglecting yourself can affect them as well. You cannot support anyone if you are in no good condition to do so, it concerns me. Think of it as... taking a day to have ten more." She surprised herself with how positive that came out but it was honest. Perhaps there were precious few things in the universe that inclined her to be so heartfelt. It was odd and uncomfortable however small doses should be fine.

Susan breathed out as she sunk further into the water. Many people had been telling her the same thing she had told Gabriel just now but she did not practice what she preached, even if had been taking baby steps into doing so. This wouldn't be easy for either of them. And she had to disagree with him, though not for pessimistic reasons. As inclined toward effort, status, and success as she was... she did not compare herself to other people. At all. Everyone was fundamentally different with different experiences and, for the life of her, many of her dreams would stay dead and lifeless. Sometimes there were second chances, sometimes not, but they had an expiration date and certain things were just not possible or even what was desirable anymore. But that was not inherently a morbid train of thought.
"No, unfortunately I would say not," she began in disagreement, "That was a long time ago and rare is the fruit that ferments into wine after it has fallen to rotting off the tree. Some of those things I simply cannot do, some I don't even want to anymore.

...but that isn't to say that I can't have new dreams."

Her head perked up a little, even if she wasn't smiling it was a more interested neutral expression. Not one of sadness, one of thought and function.
"That is all in the past now, you said it yourself. It does no good to live back there, I frankly don't see the benefit of agonizing over something that has long since stopped existing. I have many broken dreams and it has been tiresome... and disappointing... but I will not let that stop me at all. I would rather make new dreams as I go." It was strange indeed, they were in perfect agreement through saying similarly opposite things. A candid unagreement. It was refreshing. Susan smirked.


........Susan did her absolute best to hide how stupid she felt after that left her mouth. Well he did say to be herself even... if... she probably went a little... overboard...

...why did this have to be so difficult...?

"I guess there are some things you should teach me as well Susan. Maybe I give more of myself to others while you mastered the method to effectively put yourself and your wellbeing to the utmost concern. There are times when I can even catch a cold and ignore it for the sake of work or fulfilling my obligations, as you can see. I mean, most importantly fulfilling my obligation to you, there was no way I was going to miss our date. This might sound a little cheesy to you but I wouldn't miss it for the world. "

Whenever it was the time for Susan and Gabe to hang out or meet up, it was one of the most exciting things for him to do in the sense of spending more time with her.

"Whatever your new dreams are, I would like to be a part of them...or...I hope you would let me tape part in the vision you have laid out in your head. As for the whole secret agent gimmick. Wouldn't it be nice right? You are more of the secret agent than I am, but i'll keep what you do on the "hush hush" in public places, privacy, and whatnot."

Gabe gave her a little wink and smile as he looked at his hands for a bit. They started to prune, which made him feel he stayed in enough for a while.

"Though, the whole roleplaying bit, you definitely gave me another idea to explore.........for another time..."

He wondered how "THAT" would go along with her.

"Should we head out soon? Is the heat bothering you?"

Certain people may have been insulted at the phrasing of that statement, making it sound as if one were self-absorbed or narcissistic. Susan was not one of these people. She only found it moderately inaccurate. Yes, she could be admittedly selfish but did not see that as a negative thing in proper measure. Selfishness meant you wanted things for yourself, anyone who was never ever selfish at any time in their life would be a penniless doormat or deeply unsatisfied with their position in life. She would rather consider that... she had a more well-defined view of what she could afford to and was obligated to give. Her time, her effort, her attention, her actions, and everything else. People had an expiration date and limitations to what they could do, frittering it away was irresponsible. ...but she was guilty of doing it anyway.
"I, umm... wouldn't go that far," the short woman grimaced sheepishly, "I'm... not exactly an expert on following my own advice all the time." Susan would do much the same as Gabriel, extend herself to her boundaries for something external to herself. She had been sleeping poorly after joining the Cadets because there was so much that needed to be done. Reports to write, training to undertake, patrols to make, people to impress and all of it had spread her thin. Whenever anyone had every asked her if she needed help or that she needed to rest the Cadet would smile, nod, and shove her nose to the grindstone again as if that conversation had never happened. Which likely stemmed from where her priorities lay, sometimes people were unaware of just what they were asking her to hold back on. Though he had been certainly correct, what he said was a little cheesy. She was at a loss at how to respond to it, the touchy-feelies didn't come naturally to her. She wouldn't say the same, that she wouldn't miss it for the world, but only because that was a very unnatural thing to come to mind. She had taken great pains to ensure that she was here today and had set aside other important engagements to do so, it was higher on her priority list than most anything else. All things considered I would not miss this for anything and everything else I can think of is not as important are close enough. Probably. God was she terrible at this… "I am... very happy I could put everything else aside to be here for you today." There. That was appropriate. ...Right? She'd just said she cleared her schedule for him, that should convey the importance of this event shouldn't it?

"It is a very... tumultuous time in my life right now, but I am optimistic," she answered with a smile. It was hard to have a set dream planned when you could not even figure out what "now" was. She had joined Class Zero, had started dating, had learned to shoot, had seen the fate of the world and what lay beneath the surface of Endymion's orderly clockwork for the demented villains that sought destruction to not only it but the end of everything. Safe to say more things in her life had changed in the past few months than... in her entire rest of her life, to be honest. But she had her fantasies. She fantasized coming home at the end of the day from work to have someone there, and he could be that someone. Yet it was not complete. This fantasy had to be tempered with reality. To make it achievable. Dreams were nice, but Susan would like to live her dreams and that meant realistic expectations. A puff of air escaped her nose as her smile widened when Gabriel talked about secret agents and the like.
"I think of myself as more of a soldierly Ghostbuster than a secret agent!" she nearly laughed, ""But I wouldn't mind a laser wristwatch communicator. I don't mind if you talk about it at all, Gabriel, but you're right. It is really no one's business." Mostly she didn't want the attention or to be treated differently because of it. She didn't try to hide her standing within the government, but at the same time she had no desire or reason to bring it up and start conversations she did not want to have. She was not just a Cadet: she was her own person, and she would like to be treated for who she was first before her standing unless she presented herself as that with purpose.

Aaaaaaaaand he had sent her another one from left field that left her shocked and sputtering. True, she had been feeling too comfortable and enjoying this too much. He hadn’t shook her guard in nearly half an hour, it must have been eating away at him. But it left her gaping and choking for words, it was not just the implication that he presented but everything in the future. This could someday be reality which meant that certain things would need to happen and she was embarrassed and scared for that which had not yet come to be.


Susan’s cheeks were rosy and not from the heat, though he did have a point. And another thing to focus on than sexual innuendo, thank God. She was loathe to leave the hot tub because of the waiting cold and abandonment of this conversation. But… her muscles were soothed and she could not spend all day in a hot tub. Unless she bought one for herself. The short woman mad a mental note to look into having one installed before the temperatures dropped, it really wasn’t her style but she could not deny how enjoyable this was.
”I-I am fine, I’m a admittedly a little afraid of the chill from leaving the tub but… I guess we can’t live our lives in here, can we? ...Yet. I will get back to you when I find a way.” She caught him looking at his hands, he was done which meant that so was she. The businesswoman hesitantly climbed out of the hot tub to begin shuffling back to the dressing room where her robe was instead of having it in reach like a sane person would. Lack of thought made life terrible, words to live by. Her legs were shaky, hard to believe her muscles needed THAT much relief but she’d been running herself ragged for weeks now.
”.....I’ll meet you on the other side, s-sweetheart,” she stuttered, taking thought into dropping the pet name before she did. He had already called her “My dear” a few times, Susan only hoped choking on her words didn’t give her away or turn it into a big deal.
”I need to gather all my things. My robe is this way, my shoes are somewhere else, my pants are in another room… I’m not sure I remember where I’ve left everything.”

"Can you imagine living your life in a hot tub? You won't have to worry about any kind of weather change because it would be a weird kind of summer...but a lot of water...if that makes any sense? Then there is the fact that you wouldn't have any need for clothing because you would be naked all the time. So you know, living your life in the hot tub is living the life of a nudist in some kind of way as well. But some of the downsides is the pruning and the bath water so to speak, so maybe it's great that we stand as land animals. Ahh... I'm rambling again..."

Gabe let her get up so that he could meet her later after getting himself settled.  However, he did notice that she tried to use a descriptive pet name. It didn't flow as naturally but she was trying, and Gabe did appreciate it. If she never did, that was ok too, maybe it was something he could have a talk with her later?

"I'll meet you at the lobby, but before you go, I wanted to tell you something.  I know I do say a few things here and there, little pet names or phrases of affection, but let it work itself out naturally. If that's not your thing, I'm perfectly fine with it, ok? No pressure at all, the point here is to get to know the real you. If I was to not hold anything back, you might be taken back a bit. However, it's the adventure of truly experiencing the presenting personality of a person you are interested in that really makes it all the more worthwhile. "

Gabe wanted to reassure her, he hoped that it helped.

---

He fixed himself up, took a little shower to get a bit of the chlorine off of his body, and he got dressed back in his garb. After that, Gabe waited for Susan. It was a lot easier and quicker for him to get dressed, but he knew he should give her a little time. Dating could be hard at times, but it can also be worth it.  A part of it was patience.

"Yes....... like the Phillipines! In a way..." It was the closest she could equate to environment that was so wet and hot, a tropical swamp of sorts. It wasn't CLOSE but it was the closest she could physically come to what was essentially living in a pot of boiling water. But it was an interesting topic, even if inane.
"But I believe you're right, it would be nigh impossible for us to live like that. In fact I am pre-tty sure it might kill you. Imagine that kind of pruning but severe and everywhere," she began, noticeably beginning to backpedal when she recognized how dark a line of thinking that may be,
"F-filters that can sterilize the water may help but I don't believe that humans can be subjected to that length of time in the water, you would need a special suit to allow your body to retain the dryness it needs at least some of the time and allow your skin to heal. Not to m-mention what the rise in ambient t-t-temperature might d-do. I-it would be like... almost l-l-like l-living on J-Jupiter, a-at that point wh-wh-why even do it?" Her stuttering hadn't come from nervousness but she'd found herself shaking and holding herself in the brisk air unconsciously. However Susan had likely the largest grin Gabriel had seen on her today, her need to continue this conversation trumping that of getting out of the cold until she'd realized.
"It is alr-r-right G-Gabriel, I like our r-r-rambling convers-s-sations," the short woman shuddered. Susan wanted to encourage this, her therapist had said that she should be more vocal about things than she was and it made enough sense to condition a desired result. Even if she was a quack and wanted her to self express more often or something pointless like that.
"Y-Yes, I am s-s-starting to f-freeze, I-I will s-see-"

Though she was a bit animated and willing to continue onward he had caught her attention and stopped her. She stood shivering in silence and... possible confusion. Or chagrin. Or relief. She wasn't exactly positive. Susan had not expected him to notice and certainly had not expected him to call her out on it. He had been INCREDIBLY patient with her and she was aware that he was holding himself back so as not to overwhelm her. If she were forced to move at his speed for too long she would quickly exhaust herself and learn to dread that time spent together. But the reverse was also true. He was right, she was not one for pet names of any sort, not that she didn't care about them but it was... just strange for her to say. Susan was quite familiar with the fact that she was as warm and affectionate as dry ice. But she didn't believe him. Somewhere within herself she believed he did care, he was too much of a romantic not to. And that's where the confusion entered. None of this was familiar to her, she was finding things out as she went along. Susan had never been in a position to use pet names before, it was unknown to her whether they would ever be natural among other things. How seriously anxious and afraid she was most of the time, how in love with solitude she was, they certainly didn't mesh in that regard and existed in this... uncomfortable sort of middle ground where they were attempting to coax and reassure one another. Gabriel and his patience, she and her declarations that yes, she did not look enthused but she enjoyed present proceedings, she would not be spending her time doing this otherwise. But there were glimpses of magic from time to time where everything clicked and it was wonderful and that is what had confused her: if she should listen to Gabriel and let go of her predispositions in how she presented herself of if she should trust her instincts and continue along while modifying her behavior and approach until she could guide the both of them to a more comfortable part of this middle ground.

Should she act with her heart or act with her mind? She would gravitate toward the latter. It's what she was comfortable with and something she was not hesitant to do. Her heart was a frightening organ that made her act in unpredictable ways, she was scared to let it take the reigns. But the switch to approach, over time she could learn to show it in short bursts after more of it had defrosted. In any case he was observant and correct. It was unnatural for her because everything about this was.
"O-o-o-k-k-kay..." she nodded nervously with her teeth chattering. Susan hung there for a bit just to contemplate before reality raked its spindly claws over her spine again and she remembered she had a body that was about to catch hypothermia.
"I-I a-am f-f-freezing I-I will s-s-see you s-s-soon." With her announcement she shuffled quickly for the dressing room, furiously rubbing her arms for friction heat.



Gabriel was right again to give her more time. She'd wasted a bit of it both cooling down her mind and nerves while trying to warm up her body in the dressing room. Afterward she had to go on a scavenger hunt for all of her articles of clothing. Shoes in one room, coat in another, pants and shirt in a third, it was anarchy and all the while her legs were exposed in her robe. It felt good to feel the comforting warmth of pants again, it boggled the mind how some women actually went through with wearing dresses or skirts in the cold. Quite personally she would rather donate bone marrow before waltzing around in even autumnal weather without anything to block her legs from the unforgiving wind. She tried to sneak around the facility unnoticed as much as possible, to be honest without Gabriel accompanying her she was embarrassed to be seen in her robe alone. But she managed, and managed to acquire a few for herself at the same time. Robes, that is, in the same style and color as they had used today. And a few beauty products she could use for bad days, regrettably she didn't take nearly as good of care of her skin as other women did even if she was not a complete and total shrew about it. It would be nice to have options and a cleansing face mask meant a dedicated 2 hours where no one could reasonably expect her to do anything in public.

Susan appeared in the lobby after a little while without much fanfare and with her hair still a mess from the hot tub and a large paper bag alongside her. She'd neglected to think about it, finding her clothes took priority. Though she wore her normal blank expression the businesswoman seemed a tad more alert and comfortable, perhaps even more confident.
"I hope you weren't waiting long, I believe I have everything of mine. Are you ready to go, sweetheart?" She hadn't stuttered this time but she bit her tongue and her eyes hardened a tiny bit after she spoke it. It... felt more natural but she was still nervous he would take notice to it. It was just something she would need to get accustomed to, but she would not keep saying it if she did not want to. Just... unlike her, is all.