Guess Who's Coming to Dinner [Cecil x Rui]

Rui checked his printed-out map. Rui of course, did not trust this new fangled "Gee-Pee-Ess" invention. He preferred to just print out maps ahead of time and use the paper to guide him to his destination. This of course backfired horrifically if he ever lost the paper, but that's what the goodwill of totally random strangers was for.

In this case, he had actually not lost the paper. He was visiting a friend's house for food and gossip. It was actually a friend he had made at a cosplay event named Rydia. They hit it off due to weirdly similar interests, such as clothing, and even traded a bit of advice on how to torment their respective targets. She apparently had a brother she tormented, while Rui had a rather introverted classmate that Rui figured was being aided by being tormented out of his social shell.

Though this introversion seemed mostly by reputation - Rui actually thought he was rather forward and aggressive. Though maybe this was just something with regards to Rui. Rui had read a yaoi which had a similar character archetype, which inflamed his suspicions.

In this case, Rydia figured they could trade outfits (they were surprisingly the same size) and she was apparently shocked by the fact that Rui actually accepted and undertook her dare. They had seen a "stripper witch" costume being sold at a cosplay event - and she dared him to buy and wear it somewhere.

He actually took her dare and completed it. Thus, she apparently wanted to desperately hear about this, especially because the details he mentioned (such as tormenting that introverted student in question) further piqued her interest. He also had selfie pictures, which was impressive considering his overall lack of technological ability.

And thus, Rui had shown up on her doorstep with a bolo de rolo cake (or something vaguely like it) that he had cooked. Also a jar of the alcoholic tea that he had salvaged from the stripper witch incident in order to gift to the parents if they were there. The vinegar smell had totally dissipated, though the taste remained, albeit partially masked by the fruit infusion he added in.

He rang the doorbell. Not receiving a response, he then clicked on the doorbell three times in quick succession.

A couple seconds after the call from behind the door, it opens to a man in a zipped black jacket and dark jeans, with ginger brown hair and a chinstrap beard. He looks down to Rui with a curious, amused look, sporting a little grin. "So you're the guy Rydia's been talking to. Well, don't just stand there, come on in."
He gestures Rui inside and shuts the door behind him. Off in the living room, a familiar face of orange-streaked blonde hair swivels around on the sofa and smiles Rui's way. "There you are! Took you long enough to get here!" Not a second later, Rydia spots the goods Rui's carrying, and moves to lean over the back of the sofa with a wide grin. "And you brought food! And...a jar of something. What is that?"
"The roll's Bolo De Rolo. Couldn't tell you what the jar is though." He turns his attention back to Rui with a deep, warm chuckle. "Just set those down in the kitchen overrr...there." He points. "I'll admit, I'm curious too. What's in the jar?"

Footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs.

Rui decided to haul the goods over to the kitchen while giving an explanation to both Rydia and her father. "Oh, you mean like this? It's like you know, a kombucha-champagne thingy that I brought for Mr. Daddy. Oh, yes, that means its like fermented tea. But also champagney." He had no idea who the man he assumed was Rydia's dad was, so he became named Mr. Daddy.

How do you describe the taste...? "So...fizzy and boozy? It's peach flavored, so it's like a very vinegary, slightly bitter, slightly sweet champagne. I think it goes well with anything sweet. Or tangy. Or tangy-sweet." He wondered if Mr. Daddy would give any to Rydia. Rui supposed that was up to him.

Rui turned to Rydia, "Oh whoops, sorries! I got lost. Maybe I should have called a taxi. But walking is fun. See new things! Got barked at by a dog on my way here! But I barked him back into submission. Very fun!" Rui didn't exactly bark back, but rather played a terrifying industrial noise out of his body to scare and confuse the agitated dog he had encountered on his way here back into his doghouse. He considered it an industrial bark.

"You know, I actually made it myself, and I think it came out pretty go-

"No, no, nonononono-"
Shortly after his appearance at the bottom of the stairs, an incredibly tormented and harried Cecil looks between his father and sister with a look that suggested what he was saying was of dire import. "Don't let him touch anything electronic, he'll ruin it. Actually no, don't let him touch anythi-"
"Cecil." The babbling stopped as a firm tone and a sudden seriousness came over his father. In the background, Rydia looked on uncertainly, confusion creeping over his features. "Why don't you get something to drink?"
Cecil's eyes flick onto the jar in terror, and something seems to click in his father's mind.
"Just get some water. I think you've had enough kombucha." He nods dumbly and moves off into the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

From there, Rui finds himself fixed with an impassive, neutral gaze. "So...that whole affair came back to you, huh?"
"Dad...?" Apprehension creeps into Rydia's posture at the sudden shift in atmosphere. "What are you talking about...?"
"Do you remember when the school called about something that had happened, and your brother came back looking awful and refusing to say what happened to lead to the events I was called about?"
"You don't...no..." Rydia looks to Rui with dawning horror. "He's who you've been messing with?" She looks on a couple of seconds before burying her face in the sofa, voice coming out in a muffed whine. "I just traumatised my brother..."

Luneth simply watched on with a solemn look, before giving a tired sigh. This was just meant to be a visit from one of his daughter's friends, and with any luck, a way to get Cecil to socialise a little more. That said friend was the person responsible for the incident that left his son in such a mess was...not ideal. "Call me Mr. Erinforth, Rui. I doubt Cecil is going to cope well otherwise." Rui finds himself the subject of a thin smile and a stern look. "I don't know what happened that day, beyond you making moonshine in a school and driving my son to drink it-" Rydia groans into the sofa, muttering something about witches and blame. "-but whatever has happened before...don't make it happen again, understood? You're allowed here as Rydia's friend, but I'm not going to stand by if you repeat whatever you did to my son."
He pinches the bridge of his nose. This was really more than he'd asked for. "Just try and make good with him if you can. I'd rather my children be able to have friends by without issues like these." Not that his son had too many friends that he was aware of...
Oh, Cecil...he just couldn't stop having to worry about him, could he?

A weird scowl of confusion rushed across Rui's face. They were all related? How were they all related? How was that po- Actually, upon thinking about it, that actually made a lot of sense. Rui turned out pretty different from his family. Though in retrospect, not that different. If anything, they shared the same base values - they just ended up expressing those values...very differently.

For a second though, the revelation actually stunned Rui. He seemed to actually pride himself on being perceptive, but he just did not expect this development. No matter how much he thought about it, he didn't think the siblings resembled each other. "Rydia was playful, overly energetic, and impulsive. And Cecil was...oh wait." Rui concluded that they really were related.

"Hmm...hmm...that was very impressive. You have to teach me how to do that." Rui was actually marveling at Cecil's father and his ability to calm Cecil, though that might not have been too clear since Rui gave little context.

He leaned forward and smiled, "Oh, well, you probably don't have to worry about Vomit Factory 2.0, Barfing Boogaloo. Mr. Erinforth the Younger probably isn't going to randomly chug a mystery liquid again. At least for a while. Even his ultra-aggressive boldness has to have limits..."

Rui seems to have interpreted Cecil's personality as ultra-bold and aggressive, largely based on his conduct in the oddly high-tech clothing store.

Rui put up his finger up to his lips as if he was thinking, as he tilted his head to the left and made a rather pensive expression, "And if there's no drinking, that only leaves I guess...what else can he do...?" Rui started counting with his fingers, "Hm, smoking. And snorting. And I guess eer, like injection? And no way he can do any of those too fast for me to stop him..."

Cecil had already given off the impression to Rui, probably falsely, that he was exceedingly impulsive. He thought to himself that it seemed like he had been assigned the job of keeping Cecil out of trouble. Yes. That was definitely the dynamic between the two of them. Anyways, his interpretation of Mr. Erinforth's words seemed perfectly acceptable to him - he was always happy to look out for people!

"That being said, you really should try a little of the tea. Just uh, don't try to chug it all at once. Since well, you know what happened to the last guy who tried..."

Luneth stared at Rui with utter disbelief, and Rydia seemed to be extracting her face from the sofa to give a similar look.
"Ultra..."
"Aggressive..."
"Boldness."
Silence hung for a moment before Luneth started to snicker. Rydia was suppressing a fit of giggles of her own, the both of them struck by the sheer absurdity of it all. "I...snrk. Well, those are words I never expected to hear used to describe him." He snickered a moment longer, looking to the door. "Now I really do need to know what happened."

As Rui continued to list things off, things reached a breaking point, and suppressed giggling turned into howls of laughter as Rydia collapsed back onto the sofa. "Injection!? Oh, oh my god - HIM, just -" Laughter overtook her words once more as she imagined the scenario. "He barely lets people give him SHOTS! In...Injec-AHAHAHAHAAA!"
...they'd lost her.

Amused as he was...the look in Luneth's eyes told Rui not to push it. "Not now, I think." Rolling his eyes, Luneth gives Rui a strong pat on the back. "Go talk to Rydia. I'll check on Cecil." With a nod and a smile, he passes over into the kitchen, leaving him with his still-laughing daughter.

Rui actually seem unusually confused again. It wasn't that common that strange sights took away his overly upbeat and energetic demeanor, but the crippling laughter of the Erinforth family actually made him incredibly confused.

He gave a puzzled scowl at the fallen Rydia on the coach, "Huh? What's funny? wait, we're talking about the same bro right now?"

Rui recalled his memories of the technologically advanced clothing store. How Cecil quickly physically manhandled Rui out of the store. Rui's initial suspicion of Cecil being an outright predator were obviously false - but Cecil clearly seemed like some super aggressive pick-up artist. It was classic "nanpa" as they said in Japanese.

He collapsed into the couch chair right next to the sofa before continuing, "Hey, Cecil may look like a dork, but he's like totally a super pushy pick-up artist. Very very sneaky. He practically grabbed me and carried me away within a minute of meeting me."

For a bit, Rui wondered if Cecil actually knew Rui was male. Or if instead, ultra pick-up artist Cecil was interested in....well, Rui cut that thought short. Largely because he was wondering then again, did anti-shadow lifeforms really have biological gender in the same way as humans? He could actually have his exterior chassis tweaked for a week just to screw with people. And by people, he meant Cecil. Not to mention that his voice was...modulable. Hell, he could even probably imitate Rydia's voice, if given enough preparation.

"Rui, Rui Rui Rui...I live with him. He takes the idea of going and hooking up with someone like it's drinking poison. He wouldn't even get two words out trying to pick someone up anyway!" Rydia looks over to the kitchen with a catlike grin on her face. "It is so, so easy to wind him up about getting a girlfriend. He says he doesn't care about any part of that, but he reacts way too much for nothing to be going on there. I don't think he can even process the idea of someone being interested in him."
She glances back to Rui with a smirk, blatantly up to no good. "...why don't you see for yourself? I've got an idea."


About a minute later, Cecil enters the room again, calmer but apprehensive.
Behind the cover of the sofa, Rydia signals to Rui that now the fun starts.
"So, I know you said how much he liked the outfit, but I have to know..." She leans in conspiratorially, an evil grin on her face as she pretends not to notice Cecil's presence. "You want that? One to ten, where'd ya put him?"
Cecil's already paling.

Cecil wasn't some weird random aggressive playboy? Well, either Rydia would be playing with fire or Rydia was probably going to be excessively cruel. Either way, Rui wasn't exactly quite sure how to address that. In one of those circumstances, his bodily integrity would be in jeopardy. But he decided to trust Rydia. For now. If all else failed, Rui could use Rydia as a human shield against Cecil's lust.

Rui noticed Cecil enter the room and he thought about his response. About how it was time to engage in a grievous amount of friendly fire. "Well, I guess that explains why you recommended witches. A little sister...always masters her brother's tastes." That was admittedly a really weird way to phrase that statement.

Cecil gave off a faux pensive look as he responded to her question, "Well, depends. Do you mean like, you know, objective looks? Or you know, subjective fuckability?" Rui actually didn't curse very often, so he put a particular emphasis on the last word just to make it more jarring. He didn't actually want to answer that question, but he figured he wouldn't have to.

Rydia's eyes narrow a little at that one, suppressing a shudder. "Don't make this sound weird. I don't need someone else starting up on that one."
Cecil starts to choke on thin air as Rui places his emphasis, torn between fleeing to the other side of the planet and trying to rip their tongues out before a killing blow could be dealt. By comparison, Rydia's initially taken aback, but soon returns to form with a vicious edge to her smile. "You know full well what I mean, and don't pretend you don't." With her finger, she gives two impatient taps on the arm of the sofa. "One to ten. How much you wanna hit that?"

Any attempts to curse and protest fail as gibberish falls from Cecil's mouth, gesticulating wildly as he oscillates between embarrassment and despair.

Despite his outward delight in making Cecil miserable, Rui actually sort of didn't want to be too mean to the poor guy. The problem is that Rui's interpretation of how to hurt someone is usually derived on what would hurt Rui, extrapolated onto that poor person. That person in this case being Cecil. Yet, the two of them possibly had slightly different personalities and ways of thinking.

So as a result, Rui was in a bind. Well, he had two, both very unappealing options. The first option was that he ranked Cecil too low and this blow to Cecil's sexual self-esteem would mentally damage him too much - and he would run upstairs and fatally jump outside of the window. Rui could clearly visualize this scenario. Even if it was just a "joke", Rui was imagining Cecil not believing it and being permanently mentally traumatized. Good thing Rui has never traumatized Cecil before.

The second scenario was that Rui gave him a very high score. This was also problematic, because Rui didn't 100% believe in Rydia. If he was wrong, he would be placing himself in physical danger.

He decided to take a third route and reply to Rydia in a way that hoped would tease Cecil without ruining his self-esteem or driving him to commit a possible crime. While still teasing him enough to mollify Rydia.

"Ooooh, you know that's just too cruel, asking that with Cecil in earshot. Rui feigned wiping away tears with his overly long sleeve. Then he gave off a fake sigh, before turning towards Cecil with a tired looking smile that was in reality quite malicious, "Cecil sweetie, Rydia told me all about how she didn't reciprocate your 'interests'. But don't worry, I guess um, I'll be willing to play your mommy today."

He made a 'come to me' gesture with his hands, as he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt - not enough to reveal anything, but enough to make his dialogue even more terrifying by making it even more obvious what bizarre fetish was being imputed to Cecil this time, "You can come to mommy now..."

Cecil settled on despair at that moment. Nausea surged within him at the memories arising as he started to back out of the room. "No...no more crazy fetishes...why are you so perverse?! Stop it already!"
He dashed back to the kitchen in a burst of speed, and soon afterwards, the (familiar to some) sound of vomiting could be heard.
Rydia looked slowly back to Rui, conflicted. "I knew he wasn't going to take that well. That was...way too forward for him, to say the least, but...I didn't think he'd take it this badly." She glances about for a moment, looking torn, before turning her attention back to Rui. "...what happened with you two?"

Rui gave a bashful shrug, "Honestly, I didn't either." Rui was expecting some modest personal denunciations and maybe a groan from Cecil. Not uh, uncontrollably vomiting. Then again...what if Rui's joke...was right? Accidentally so.

"What if uh...that actually was what he was actually into. Uh, you know! Just guessing!" Rui very gingerly conjectured before he moved quickly onto another issue.

"But uh, I really dunno. I guess Cecil's pretty strange. Like uh, in a good way. Last time, I was just making some booze and he just ran in and started chugging it until he blacked out. It was actually kinda cool. Oh, I was also wearing the costume you dared me."

Rui heard another retch, "Uh, maybe we should let him in on the joke now..."

Rydia looked at Rui unimpressed, eyebrows raised and voice thick with sarcasm. "Sure. Everyone responds to their dearest fantasies with revulsion and uncontrollable vomiting. The fact they don't hate it that much must be a good sign."
She delivers a sharp poke to the boy-bot's fore head. "He's not into it, Rui. He's the opposite of into it. I can't believe I have to say this when he's vomiting in the kitchen!"


Rydia listened, and a smile crept onto her face. "I can't believe you wore that in a school to make moonshine. I seriously hope you've got pictures." Her face fell into a more neutral expression. "Bro doesn't really drink, though...I mean, Dad offers him a beer or something sometimes, but he doesn't usually have any. Definitely not more than one if he does." She sighs. "He was definitely being strange if he was trying to get blackout drunk, alright."

As the sound of vomiting dies down, Rydia puts on a smile and stands up, gesturing for Rui to get up too. "Come on, do your shirt back up and let's go check on him." She glances quickly over to the kitchen, and then leans over to whisper. "If Dad asks, he's not feeling well. I'll make sure he doesn't say anything."

Rui made a little pouty face with his cheeks blowing out a little as Marta poked his head, but otherwise didn't say anything, probably the best signaller that he thought Rydia was right. Probably.

Rui nodded at her query, [color=#ff99cc]"Oh, I'm not a selfie-no-jutsu expert, but I tried my best!" And yes, he does awfully get strange around me. I just assumed he was like this with everyone, but maybe he does have the...[/color"] His voice trailed off.

Rui nodded again at Rydia's suggestion. He buttoned up his shirt all the way up and decided to follow her into finding Cecil. He felt that maybe it would be better left to Rydia to explain - just because everything she had told him suggested that she was a battle-hardened veteran of teasing Cecil. He was a fresh newbie compared to her eminence.