Wallace Pendleton's Fanfiction Theater

Posts : 967 Join date : 2017-05-16

"As I deal with writers block, an idea hit me! Most great writers find inspiration in others work. So...that's what I tried.
But on the internet I found a collection of works that were just...well,
disturbing. Today I'll be looking at chapter one of a story called...
My Immortal."

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

"As you can see here, the writer's spelling and grammar are terrible. She has someone else helping her with general corrections, though the end result is still...well."

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!).

"Get used to this. The Author is clearly quite...gothic, as it appears, but she tends to tell people with differing interests to stop reading. It's also very bad storytelling to have authors notes in the middle of a paragraph."

I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen).

"Here we start to see some more problems.
One, Ebony is totally obsessed with someone named Gerard Way.
This person will continue to be mentioned for at least the next ten chapters. I haven't read past that point. The OTHER problem is she doesn't seem to actually know the lore of Harry Potter.

I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

"Another thing to get used to. Ebony will change outfits every chapter, and you'll get a long description of what she's wearing. Every. Chapter. That outfit doesn't even sound like it would look good.

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Ebony has a tendency of bullying other Hogwarts students, and no, she never gets in trouble for it, from what I've seen."

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

"Meet her first out of character love interest,
Draco Malfoy."

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

"As you can see, that conversation was completely pointless. Get used to it."

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

"And...that's chapter one. If you'd like me to continue, or have any suggestions for other stories, let me know...there are at least forty chapters of this garbage...I hope it doesn't get much worse..."

Posts : 967 Join date : 2017-05-16

"Welcome to Chapter Two...let's just get right into this mess."

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.

"Yes, as you can see, Ebony is a vampire. Sadly,
she doesn't preform the scrape and lick. She just drinks it out of a bottle."

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas.

"Again, the combination of Hot Pink and Black is used. For someone so...er...gothic...I would expect Purple, or Blue.
Maybe she only wants to believe she's a goth."

Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

"This transformation sequence is actually short,
compared to some of them. Also yes, Ebony is a satanist."

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

"Oh no."

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson

"Meet Ebony 2, Gothic Boogaloo. She is the same character as Ebony, but different, but not at all."

t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.

From this, I guess you're supposed to assume that she's one of the 'friends' that called Ebony away, in chapter one."

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

"Pretty sure you have to be alive to blush, but whatever."

“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

"So either the Slytherin Common Room exits right into the Great Hall, or Willow spent the whole walk across the school asking that question."

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Of course he did..."

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

"This is THRILLING dialogue. I wonder what's going to happen next."

“What?” I asked.

"Ughhhhhhh..."

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"MCR is My Chemical Romance, by the way.
Don't expect it to be called that very often."

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

"And so we have the set up for chapter 3...if I resist the allure of Bleach that long..."

Posts : 967 Join date : 2017-05-16

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

"Trust me, not even an all cleansing fire could erase this..."

odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

"Oh, right. This chapter is totally a song fic.
Except terrible...so really, just a song fic."

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.

I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

"I suddenly feel as though I lot of people in this city follow Ebony's fashion sense."

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.

"Doesn't Malfoy hate muggles? And probably muggle technology?"

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too)

"If it's not What's New Scooby-Doo I'm not interested."

, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

Wallace Pendleton's Fanfiction Theater WD4hGv6

Wallace Pendleton's Fanfiction Theater WD4hGv6

"I DO feel cool now."

“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.

"Aren't you in love with him, or something?

“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)

"Not a valid plate number..."

and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson.

"You're listening to Good Charlotte...on the way to listen to Good Charlotte."

We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

"Oh wow. Real cool."

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"Mosh pits are still a thing?"

“You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

"Really? I just assumed you were their manager."

“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"His sadness fuels me...I'm starting to sound like one of my own monsters."

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

"Draco you could do so much better..."

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

This is so OOC it hurts...whatever happened to Pansy?

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

"Blondes hate yo-wait, isn't Malfoy Blonde?"

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them.

"Oh, so you had backstage passes or?"

We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!

"Please...feed her to Aragog..."

Posts : 967 Join date : 2017-05-16

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK!

"Well, you heard her. Her name is Enoby now.
Don't address her as anything else."

DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"Yes, Draco and Enoby have some form of unexplained backstory.

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“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

"Yeah Draco, what ARE you doing?"

Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"Because THAT'S what you do in that sort of situation."

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Ebony?” he asked.

"ENOBY, Draco."

“What?” I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts)

"Yeah, I'm not going that far for a joke."

which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.

"So I'm going to have to skip the next part,
but it's extremely poorly written NSFW...involving Enoby's apparent boy-thingy. I'll leave it at that, and skip past the NSFW."

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!

"Oooh. You're in trouble..."

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