A Charismatic Seminar

Today was a rather interesting day for Raphael, he was going to speak at an open space at his school in order to teach others about good communication and negotiating with others. It was a free event and he had it open for other people outside of the school to attend and come to the small room. But Raphael thought that those who did attend were people who needed to hear something from him.

Regardless of what it was, even minor, he wanted those people to leave with more confidence in themselves from the time that they arrived. It was what motivated him to do this in the first place.

That...and find more members for his club...

But at the time, Raphael was just looking at the people slowly showing up to see what it was about.

At the front of the audience was Eryka. Bedecked in the school uniform, despite honestly not considering herself an actual student, she sat with her legs and arms folded. However, the question we should ask is why Eryka, a notoriously anti-social person, was even the slightest bit interested in a seminar that promised to improve one's communication skills among negotiation skills. Eryka was only here for communication skills but the question, still, was why that was the case?

The answer to that was obvious. She was here to, ideally, learn how to communicate more effectively with people namely her comrades in arms. Outside of that Eryka did not give a single damn about communicating with people unless it was of the upmost necessity. Still, why did she want to learn to communicate better with her colleagues? It was not, as some people may or may not believe, that she had actually developed an interest in socialisation but because Eryka wished to achieve more effective teamwork with her comrades.

A people started to come in and fill up the small area, offered their small snack and water, the doors started to close and Raphael began with a microphone in his hand. From the outfit that he was wearing, Raphael looked pretty casual, but he was ready to go as soon as it looked like he held up enough occupants.

"Alright! Welcome to my Seminar! I'm Raphael Gatsby, head of the Cult of Personality. Now, wait, you might think of the name to be weird to be described as a cult. But in the hands of others, such a name holds power... promise.  A cult is a relatively small group of people that have a devotion towards a practicre that's considered odd to people. I mean, we communicate with each other every day, either passively or actively... but has anyone desired to master it besides the basics?  For the people who are here today, how many of you... WANT to learn how to communicate with others better? To intergrate yourself in any social enviorment, lower the awkardness....or heck.... even making new friends. "


"Humor me...show of hands!"

Get to the point already. That was the chief thought bouncing around inside Eryka's think box. She was not interested in playing along with this man's games nor listen to him babbling about some abstract "power" associated with the word cult. She was here to learn effective, and most importantly practical, advice about how to communicate better.

Eryka's eyes look to her life and right quickly, seeing that only a few (out of the already rather small seminar) had bothered to raise their hands. Hopefully that would be enough for this man to get on with things already. Perhaps Eryka quite simply did not get it but...why was this Raphael bothering to engage with the seminar in the first place? He could simply hand out the advice, get them to practice and that would be enough.

"Ah quite a few of you! Which is exactly why, you people are going to be my very first subjects in a little exercise we are going to do a few minutes from now. "

He figured that those who had the courage to raise their hands while admitting that they needed the help, were those who were on the right track or had the most potential to change. The others needed to open up a little more and be honest with themselves. That was the only way they were going to get the most out of what Raphael had to offer.

"Let's begin with the socializing basics....shall we? Don't criticize.... condemn... or complain....  one of the things that you have to know about being judgmental or critical of someone is that they are..... basically us if we were under the same circumstances. With the situations reversed, we would be that person that we are giving such criticism to. Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes them strive to justify themselves. One of the things about being human..... one of the most humane things about us is our pride, the self-respect that we have for ourselves. When such a thing is challenged by another person.... it hurts our sense of importance..and arouses resentment. That's exactly why i wanted to start off with targeting the bad habits that we all done at least once.... the criticism and judgment of others."

Raphael let that sink in a bit.

"If you are guilty of such of thing, let it be known that we are here to begin the first steps of abandoning such habits and curb our way of thinking towards other people. By doing so, we are already changing the way that we communicate with eachother."

....Eryka resisted the compulsion to roll her eyes. Don't criticise, complain or condemn? Idiot. Not complaining Eryka could agree with (as why complain about a problem when you could solve it?) but not criticising? No. Critique and critical feedback were highly important in all areas of life. To act as if it was a bad thing to do in socialisation simply bred bad habits and let's be frank, there was a lot of bad habits present nowadays.

She also found it equally stupid that this man, whatever his name was, dared to suggest that the party receiving critique would be basically Eryka if the positions were reversed. The idiocy of his points were mind boggling and genuinely just too utterly moronic to fully comprehend; not without abandoning common sense or logic. Eryka rose from her seat and, after locking her eyes on Raphael, began to speak.

"...You are a fool. The argument we should not criticise because it is futile on the grounds it puts a person on the defensive is moronic. It's a highly important thing that everyone should readily engage in and learn how to do effectively. Presenting the idea that it's a bad thing to do on the grounds of it putting someone on the defence is a level of idiocy I am genuinely shocked exists. Your perspective breeds a terrible attitude in people." That said, Eryka was of the mind that if Raphael wished to present this matter as being a simple case of a social conversation not being the correct time and place for critique? Then yes, sure that was an agreeable point.

"Additionally, the idea that I would be the same as the person I am critiquing if the roles were reversed is equally moronic." She reached for her prosthetic and, with a few swift movements of her fingers, detached it from her torso. Eryka rested her prosthetic upon the desk and gestured before it, planning to use it as a prop to further argue her point.  

"Me and the person I am criticising are basically the same? That is a joke. If I were to critique you, would your gender suddenly change and would you gain a prosthetic arm like mine? Of course not. Because you're not me." Again, Eryka would have agreed with this incredibly brainless man had he presented the matter as a case of imagining yourself in the other party's position, but he did not. He presented it as a matter of both parties being basically the same which was just simply factually incorrect.

"Unless you have any practical advice, rather than these foolish suggestions and perspectives you have presented so far, then I will be taking this opportunity to take my leave." Eryka had little patience for the stupid and, as far as she knew, this man was definitely stupid.

"You are a fool "

Raphael :
The way that Raphael looked back was almost as if he was saying, "who the hell had the nerve to interrupt him with some bs". However, Raphael was a gentleman! He didn't take offense to this, he took it as a challenge. Resistance, as some would say, is given from people who probably needed the most help. They were making that quite apparent with the current outburst that they had. But instead of interrupting her or going tit for tat, Raphael had a little more class and decided to let her "let it all out" instead of before he retorted. He had a lot to answer for, and that was fine. He believed in his skills and thought he could help the people with what he knew, he just had to be convincing enough for them to believe that.

"Quite the firecracker here, bringing up some good points as well. Why should we not criticize? These emotions that we are coming across here with what I said is probably the end result of how some of you a feeling because you don't understand. So I'm going to get into more detail. From how I worded things, I gave you a disservice with explaining that you shouldn't criticize. I still believe that, but what I should have said that it's all in the approach, the tone of your voice and the words that you use. People aren't creatures of logic, we aren't. We are creatures of emotion, motivated by pride and vanity. Prejudice is the reoccurring nemesis in our nature. "

Raphael paused for a moment.

"It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. Instead of criticizing, you need to approach the...."adversity" you see in front of you with a looking glass that at least tries to understand what that person is saying and why they are saying it, or even doing it. By telling them a better way to do something or another way to think about something, as a suggestion....as counsel... as anything other than ridicule their choice, you are more likely to get the desired result that you are looking for. Or am I wrong about that? Is the purpose of criticism to you an act of receiving self-satisfaction? Or do you desire for something to change?"

It was a simple lesson, just watch how you talk to them. That's all you really had to do, the methodical approach of civility, even a disagreement can end favorably for a person depending on how they went about it.

"Miss, when I said "They are basically us if we were under the same circumstances", I was talking about walking a mile in their shoes. In the current year, we live in, changing genders is possible, that can happen. Losing an arm, that can happen, the method it occurred in for you to warrant a prosthetic, that can vary. Now, the experiences that you been through your entire life shaped you to be the person you are today, and I'm not taking anything away from it. But can you still guarantee yourself to be the same person in front of me if anything significant or dynamic changed in the middle of that path? Different strokes, there are people that might not have it as bad or even worse, but those with similar circumstances are more agreeable with each other than those coming from different backgrounds. Hence the reason why I am saying they are basically us, under different circumstances. "

At that point, he explained himself to the best of his ability.

"You are free to leave, that is the choice that you can make for yourself, and it's a valid one, not to be judged or criticized for. If I may be so blunt myself, you can look at all I said in the last three minutes and say it's all bullshit, you can lock yourself in that perspective and walk out that door. But if you do, I want you to realize something. You were presented with something that stood as an adverse to what you thought or believed in, something that caused you to speak out in the first place, which I appreciate. I would want you to communicate with me, express your opinions, and even obtain clarity through it, instead of walking away with nothing. Because that's why we are here, to do so...as less as learn of other ways to go about it as well. Even if this is the only skill you ever learn, I WANT to be the one to help you reach that potential to empower yourself and change your life. But I can't do that if you walk out that door, which is once again, your choice. "

"If you are not a creature of logic, nor are you striving to become one, then you're a fool." This man talked far too much. He used a lot of words to say very little of any great importance. It was equal part's impatience and disagreement that irked Eryka so much. Impatience because she had little respect for people that could not concisely articulate their point but disagreement as a lot of his points were just so very moronic.

"With all due respect I don't need to forgive it nor understand why they're saying it. I simply need to understand what they're saying and then point out why it's stupid, offering instruction on what's a better path if that is requested. The best way to achieve that is to be direct. The only requirement is I effectively provide the critique in a clear manner." Now there was a worthwhile question. What was it that Eryka sought to gain from criticising others? Why that was simple.

"When I criticise I seek to prevent the recipient of my critique from doing something moronic." With that said she returned to her silent listening and...she could not believe the idiocy that she was hearing. Was he really asking if Eryka would still be Eryka if events in her life played out differently? Of course she would be. The individual Eryka was her. The amputee brought her organic limb up to her face, rubbing her temples between its fingers and sighing audibly. Why did people always have to ask such totally foolish questions? Did they not possess basic reasoning abilities?

"An individual is determined not only by experiences but by the physical nature of their form. Even if you were female. Even if you lost your arm and had it replaced in the same manner as me you would never be me. You would not have my parents. You would not have my genes. You would not look like me. As for the question of whether I would still be me if I underwent different experiences while maturing? The answer to that is obvious: yes I would be." She returned to silence, allowing this moronic fool to speak his piece. A part of her wanted to punch some sense into him...but she knew better.

"You want me to communicate? Then I shall. Your advice is abstract and highly subjective with no basis in fact or rational science. You have presented a poorly thought out rational as to why critique is bad. You have foolishly questioned if changes in experiences would render a person not themselves ignoring the value of the physical vessel. You have sought to justify us adhering to the irrational whims of emotional states induced by brain chemicals despite how damaging the results of doing so is." She took a pause there to catch her breath, allowing Raphael to momentarily take in her tirade before continuing.

"The only worthwhile act you have committed is questioning me on what I seek to gain from criticising others which I have answered. Finally, as I said before, provide practical advice determined by a scientific process that can assist me in communicating with my colleagues. Your personal observations are unacceptable without rigorous data collected to either confirm or deny them. What I am here for is practical advice on how to communicate information to my colleagues while maintaining their moral, as proven by rigorous collecting of data." Eryka had little patience for abstractness or philosophising based only on one's own personal observation. She sat down at her desk, arms folded neatly atop its wooded surface contemplating whether she should just leave or not.

"I really don't have time for this right now."

Is what Raphael was thinking in his mind. Going back and forth with this woman was counterproductive to the program and there were other people that had a look about them that voiced the displeasure of the altercation without saying a single word. This wasn't a satisfying outcome, and Raphael had to take control of this discussion once more and direct it to the way that he wanted it to go.

"And you will get that because we are starting to enter the second step. The big secret that you all came here to hear! The secret of dealing with people...

This time, Raphael changed its approach. He let her get it all out of her system and instead of a rebuttal, taking her final statements, he gave her the expectation of receiving the information she came here for. Yes, instead of being discouraged, he could use this.

"Do you know the deepest urge of human nature? It's the desire to be important. The information that you are trying to convey towards someone else, you can tell someone anything and it could go out the other ear. It could end up being meaningless, the action itself and the premises of why you figured they needed that message. If you convey that information with the appreciation if the good that they are doing now, or even the things that they are doing right...even if it's one thing! They are more receiving to the message that you are bringing across. The desire for purpose and meaning in what people do, you aren't just conveying information when you go that route, you are conveying opportunities to them. With your suggestion or even constructive observations, you are giving them the opportunity to be better and you have to tackle it in that fashion. Giving honest and sincere appreciation, even if it's something minuscule that can be overlooked, can arouse enthusiasm within others. It's that little creak in the door that allows you to get your words through when they are usually blocked. "

"I will hold you to that" Eryka thought to herself, silently watching Raphael with a stoic expression. She intensely listened to his every word and honestly? She was actually starting to see the validity of his suggestion. If, and let's be honest it was a big if, Raphael was correct in his statement that making people seem important by presenting information as opportunity was the way to get them to listen then that left Eryka with one question: what was the correct way to phrase information?

"So your suggestion is the best way to ensure information is acknowledged and received would be to present it as an opportunity? Which in itself would make the recipient of the information feel important?" That was the understanding Eryka had taken, but she still had the question of how to actually word it. Hmmm...

"Provide us a demonstration." It may have been yet another interruption but at least this time, Eryka's interruptions were at least contributing to the seminar.

"A demonstration? Hm....."

Raphael could easily use the people who raised their hands before, but he felt as if they wouldn't be up to the task in order to convince this woman of Raphael's methods. No, if Raph was ever going to have a chance of getting his point across, he was going to have to jump into the fire. He would have to use this woman all the way.

"I'll use you then..."

Raphael said to Eryka with an earnest smile.

"With all of the comments that you made, what I appreciate the most about your point of view is that your desire for practical advice is a rather selfless endeavor in order for you to communicate with your colleagues. In order to do so, in order to get that information out of me, you must be objective and critical with your responses, even though you risk to be offensive by doing so. That is bravery in the eyes who can't speak up for themselves. By not being afraid to do so, I can see that you are a crucial coworker in your group. "

That was buildup, the genuine compliment, something Raphael could say with the utmost honesty without it sounding disingenuous. Because she dared, such bravery in the workplace is commended in some aspects. Raphael openly accepted that fact about her, and he was hoping he was particularly receptive to what he said.

Now, it was the steer.

"I do believe that as you continue to grow, Incorporating new methods would be more sufficient to have the same result with less work. Another way to disagree with a point of view would be to understand the effectiveness of what is being said, even if there is only one singular point, and adding it to a way that a way that not only would be useful to me, but the affects the way I would operate and communicate with other people in the future as well. With that being said, is there one thing you could genuinely think of saying about what I spoke of this evening that you agree with? And in addition to that, What do you believe I can do to improve?"

It was the essence of showing how the lesson could work, he was teaching Eryka that she could do everything she spoke about with fewer sentences and exact the same changes with how she began to approach in the first place. This was an example, but only depending on how how she saw what Raphael was doing.

Of course this ever so irksome man would decide to single her out for the purpose of this practical demonstration. She sighed, wishing that she had genuinely bothered attending this ever so irksome event. She listened to his compliments and found the urge to roll her eyes rising but she resisted. Raphael's compliments were obvious, see through and nothing but transparent attempts to butter her up.

Once Raphael finished speaking Eryka rose up and decided that if this ever so weak man wanted advice on self-improvement she would give it. She did also plan to come up with something that had been said she could genuinely approve of. She paused for a few moments, racking her brain for something but...nope. There was nothing, at this stage, she could genuinely approve of. Time had not proven the effectiveness of Raphael's advice so Eryka couldn't approve of that yet.

"In all honesty as none of your advice has been proven to be effectiveness I can not say it's worthwhile. Beyond that there is nothing else worth declaring my approval or disapproval of." That would have most likely stung and rankled the pride of a more prideful person but, of course, Eryka was totally unaware of that possibility. Being aware of the social norms was not one of her strong points.

"As for improvements... exercise more, don't waste my time with hollow and uninformed compliments, speak more directly and don't waste time." Eryka could tell this man, as soft looking and lacking in musculature as he was, did not exercise anywhere near enough. She also did not see the need in this man wasting time buttering people up with compliments. Simply tell them the advice, make it seem as an opportunity and move on. Speaking of which...

"Greater levels of exercise would improve yourself stamina, strength and aesthetic appeal immensely. Speaking more directly and using your time effectively will allow you to achieve more." There. She made her advice seem like an opportunity, pointing out how it could only benefit Raphael. She hoped everyone in the entire city would take her advice. She could not stand the majority of the civilians being unfit layabouts.

"Right....well then.... a breakthrough nevertheless. "

Checking his watch, Raphael figured that it was time to wrap up this little event and send everyone off on their way. It wasn't exactly how he wanted it to go, but it would be much more of a fantasy land if things were to always go your way. At the same time, Raph felt that he could of at least been spared a bit of the woman's attitude. Oh well, Raphael could have easily used some sort of admission fee as a takeaway from all of this, but he figured that a free event such as this isn't useful for people who thing it wouldn't help them. He wanted to help them, but whether he should or if it was his place to was an entirely different story.

"That's all the time for today, but for next week, we should definitely start with that small exercise I wanted to show you. Till then...."

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It was pretty much over at this point and Raphael stayed around in order to clean up the room he borrowed for the sake of keeping his end of the deal. Deals were sort of a sacred pact for him, which is why he never liked agreeing to anything unless he had the intention of seeing it through in some way, shape or form. He did have his dishonest moments, but at the same time, he valued a handshake.

"Man...."

A few others stayed around while Raph was cleaning up, mostly to talk amongst themselves and even how he may have met his match with another patron that attended today.

Eryka was a little surprised that the talk was just ended like that. She had been expecting this man, as annoying as he was, to critique her attempts at meeting his request but no. He decided to end it here and now. Eryka shrugged and rose from the desk, making a direct beeline for the exit. She had no more business here and as the entire event had been nothing but a waste of time she wished to take her leave.

Eryka supposed the reason why Raphael wanted to end it so quickly was because he was quite frankly too irritated to continue the seminar. The amputee was aware her behaviour may have caused frustration but if Raphael couldn't handle that? Then he was a weakling barely worth Eryka's time. People who succumbed to their emotions and let them dictate their behaviour were simply little more than a nuisance. Eryka walked out of the room, hopped on her bike and rode home.