Back-Briefing (Susan & Haru)

So much data to parse through. Things to understand and make sense of, but most importantly put to good use. Not all knowledge was important as sad as it was, some was more valuable than others and knowledge for knowledge's sake was an effort in futility and a complete waste of time. And with an immense sum of data that needed to be picked through, pieced together to separate the wheat from the chaff and discover what could be utilized to gain a strategic advantage in some way, shape, or form. And that was what Susan was doing. Rather, what she would have been doing should she find a prudent place to begin.

The small woman had many thoughts as she sat in the rolling chair before on of the computers in the Bibliotecha with the cursor flashing on an empty document save for the header with her name and date. Not all of these ideas were useful. Not any of them were. Some of these were just statements of fact about the Psyche Terrorists that could not be used, though argument could be made they would become useful later. She was not even certain what she should be writing down given what she knew about the situation. This latest secret had been concealed from them on purpose and she would not repeat it. Some things should not be known. Yet she had come to know these terrible, terrible things that no person should know. It weighed on her, it brought new meaning to her station. Before this exercise was one of self-improvement but that was not the case anymore. Infinite Jest. They would bring about the end of the world as they knew it. Again. And so this was now a war and the stakes could not be higher.

The businesswoman took it especially upon herself to put this information together and to form it into the spear that would stab at the heart of these fanatics. She could not suffer this again, would not suffer this again. So much death... It would take her and her specialized skill set in analysis to uncover the root of this and a plan of attack and that would take thinking. Thinking and effort. She supposed she would begin with the obvious and that was what was known about the enemy. The empty Bibliotecha filled with the sounds of keystrokes as the woman worked at a lone terminal.

After the whole ordeal with the Jest, Haru wasn’t sure what to make of life anymore. He used to be clear on what he wanted, but with the way the world was going he often wondered if being a Cadet and protecting the world was right thing to do or was it better to let them all burn? The dark thoughts pursued him through the night and caused him to miss the examination that was held for the Cadets. He was feeling quite drained as sleep seemed to visit him less and less these days making him wonder if it was all going to drive him mad. It didn’t help that his mother wanted him to continue to perform at 110% either.

With everything in life pulling at him, it was a wonder he was able to even get out of his bed that morning and do a bit of training before fighting with his mother about taking a haitus from work. She fought against him for few hours before finally giving in and letting the idol do what he wanted to for once. He wasn’t feeling well and he just couldn’t continue to please his fans in his condition, so he took the break he so desperately needed. After the fight with mother, he was able to leave the house and go where he wanted, but instead of going somewhere relaxing he found himself going to the school and to the rooms designated for Class Zero. He would make his way through those halls and rooms until he found himself at the Bibliotecha, a place full of information. Information that would bring him no comfort as he made his way further into the place, trying to sort his thoughts out in the silence of the place. He would continue to walk further in only stopping when he heard the tap, tap, tap of keys being pressed on a keyboard. There was another here?

Curious who it was and finding something to set his mind on other than the dark thoughts running through it, he would drift towards the back where a lone terminal stood, his foot falls soft despite him not trying to sneak around. He would continue the walk until he was a safe distance away, his head tilting a bit as he took in the woman that was there, typing away. Half of him wanted to interrupt, but the other half told him to leave her be leaving him for a moment in a strange position of debating internally as he looked off to the side, thinking for the time being. He had no idea what to say and if he were to say something what to even talk about. Maybe he should’ve just left the library instead.  Hmmm…

The businesswoman found herself covering down on the obvious in her report.
Everything that was covered in that meeting the other day. That is,
everything of note about the enemy, their tactics, number, abilities, what
they new, et cetera. She would include her own supposition from "T"'s
statement and what could be obviously known but would remain blank on the
true reason. The vision of madness each of them had bore witness to. It was
not something the newer Cadets should know, their Captain had only told them
after "T" had forced his hand.
...perhaps that was what he had wanted, and it was covered in that meeting
but again absent from her report. Susan would need to speak to Julius about
potentially compartmentalized information or clearance levels in order to
restrict access to things not all Cadets should know. It did not serve Class
Zero to know this information as they did. All they would need to know is
that they were in a new war on terror and should treat it as such. The price
of failure happened to be the lives of everyone all over again. She would
ruminate the deeper implications she could not vocalize publicly by herself
in the bath. For the time being she would take a record account of the
attack and all its factors.

And Susan continued to draw blanks and find difficulties. Her mind was
similarly distracted not from what was right or what this enemy meant but
the horrors that would visit her. The children burning, or were they
children at all? How many were killed? Did they kill them? Susan assumed not
but... she could not be certain. Were they men or demons? Everything she
could remember happened in pieces, a blurred cinegraphic of fighting
desperately and viewing what should not be viewed by people. Death.
Immolation. Suicide. Even after Prince Julius's affirmation of events the
memories still ran together like mottled paint. The woman would find her
breath quickening and her eyes widening as she silently relived her own
personal Hell before she had to push herself away from the screen. The weary
woman drew her hands down her face and moved to stand up to stretch before
finding a silent figure that had crept up on her.

"Ha-aaaaa...!"
She gasped loudly and nearly fell from her seat in a look of pure terror.
Susan panted for breath as her heart threatened to explode in her chest. But
it was only Hatsuhara. Someone she recognized. His pale skin had given her a
shock, quite a serious one at that. She found her Soulbound crook in her
hand, having summoned it on instinct. The fearful woman swallowed and tried
to quiet her ragged breathing as she dismissed her Soulbound with a wave of
her hand, placing a palm to her chest to quiet her heartbeat.
"Y-y-you-ou sur-ur-pri-i-sed
m-m-m-me-e..." she hyperventilated, closing her eyes to make
more attempt to gain her composure.
"H-how ca-a-n I he-elp y-ou
H-Hatsu-h-hara...?"

He was looking off to the side for a moment, lost in his own thoughts and what he should do now that he had found Susan here. He could just leave. After all, the woman probably wouldn't notice as she seemed way too busy with whatever she was doing. So maybe walking away was probably the best thing to do. Yeah....

The idol would shift quietly in his spot his plan to leave right away; however, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Susan seemingly struggling with something mentally. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he thought to say something or reach out to her, but that is when she decided to move and noticed him. As he startled her and she screamed, he would've moved forward to at least attempt to keep her from falling; however, the sight of her soul bound made him hold his ground as his body tensed as he watched the woman with a concerned expression. When she had calmed down enough to at least dismiss her weapon, the idol would relax slightly.

"I apologize for that. I didn't mean to do that," the idol would say as he shook his head a bit, kind of kicking himself for not moving a bit faster. As for that question...He would shake his head again. "There is not much to be helped with. I was just looking for a quiet spot to think, so came here." He would begin before hesitating and looking over at the woman. "Susan...are you okay?"

The businesswoman would continue to breath heavily, clasping her hands over
her heart in a vain attempt to calm herself. It was Haru. Only Haru. Haru
was someone she could trust, he was her friend and teammate. He was not some
crazed psycho sneaking up on her to slide a knife between her vertebrae. She
had to convince herself of that. But her breathing would slow and she would
regain some modicum of control again. His calm and chilled, professional
disposition helped in that regard. Susan gulped and shook her head, boring a
hole into an imaginary spot on the floor.
"N-No. I-I mean, y-yes. I-I-I am
fine...! E-everything is just fine...!" she would gasp,
nearly sounding as if she were attempting to convince herself instead. The
timid woman bit her tongue and squeezed her eyes shut.
"I-I... do not enjoy b-being
surp-prised. I-It is not your fault, I-I should have been paying
attention." It had caught her off guard herself but it seems
the fear ran deeper than expected. She assumed she would feel safe within
the annex of Class Zero and yet expectation that could still be shattered
suddenly. Her nerves were frayed from that night still, no matter where she
went she could not escape herself.

Trembling from the aftershock of her scare Susan would half-turn back to her
terminal to resume work or at least the illusion of it, yet she would still
face Hatsuhara. It troubled his mind as well, that much was obvious. The
event weighed heavy on most and in all different ways. Cecilia was horrified
at what she had done and what her ideals meant. Frost had been noticeably
colder, at least in what she witnessed. She herself had been heavily
affected. But in what way Haru was affected from what broken ideal was yet
to be seen. He was not his typical cool and playful self for certain, it did
not escape her notice.
"How... are you dealing with
it?" she asked, skipping the obvious question. She was well
aware of what he was thinking about. It was what everyone was thinking
about.

Haru was no fool. He could see clearly that the woman was beyond shaken from a minor scare. She was dealing with something else too. Even though she said she was alright and even tried to play it off, the idol found himself frowning a bit with concern as he watched the woman go through all of this. "I probably should've said something sooner than standing about," the idol would say as he raised a hand to to rub the back of his head a bit. Maybe this could've been avoided if he had. Well what was done was done now. He'd just have to deal with it.

That aside, the idol would find himself at first caught off guard by Susan's question his eyebrows raising slightly at the question as he kept silent and studied the woman. How was he dealing with this? That hell they had been through? He looked off to the side considering the question with a light frown before sighing a bit and shaking his head.

"Not that great to be frank with you," he would say not giving her anymore than that for now. "How about you?" he would ask looking back over at her with a calm gaze.

"Nonono, y-you are fine...! E-everything is... *haaaa...* everything is just fine..." she sighed. Susan did not wish to make him feel guilty about any of this, it was not his fault she was a mess with problems adapting to combat stress. But that was to be expected, ordinary people were not expected to experience what they did. She could only wish she wasn't affected by it as she was, it caused her grief by forcing her to act in ways she could not control. It was not a pleasant existence being frightened of public places or feeling your heart race every time you walked past a mirror or heard someone laugh from far away, though she would do her best to ignore it and act as normal as possible so she would not be considered inferior for it.

Hatsuhara admitted difficulty in handling this circumstance which was... surprising? She had not known what to expect. Obviously most had been effected by the other night but she did not expect him to be so open and blunt. Was she surprised that he chose to be honest about it? Susan did not know, she had no idea. This was not something she had to deal with before. Perhaps it would benefit her to read up on how people deal with trauma to notice behavioral changes in her teammates and subordinates in order to make judgement calls.
"At least you are honest about it. I have heard that is a good thing," she commented dryly. Susan did not personally believe it was a good thing, at least not toward everyone. She did not want the attention from it nor the special treatment. Or the stigma. She would keep her own problems to herself for the time being, no one needed to know that she was a nervous wreck and frightened of everything. Susan turned back completely to her terminal, resting her fingers over the keyboard.
"I am compiling reports over the events of that night and what we know about the broadcast and a slew of other incidents in order to track them down, I believe their goal was to shake our resolve and if we allow that to happen, they win. I will not allow that to happen." The businesswoman answered the question more literally than what Haru had meant, being what was she physically doing to deal with it, which she deemed more important. Though she realized it was an odd answer after she spoke it. But she wouldn't dwell. Susan did not feel comfortable sharing her feelings, she did not understand them.
"...it makes me feel more comfortable when I can do something about it. D-do you have any major observations, Hatsuhara?"