People, How Fascinating [Vini]

Subject: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:05 am

Harmony would sigh gently, leaning against his coffin propped up against a wall of sorts. It was a rather busy day in Shanty Town. People were running about, conducting business with each other, obviously the shady kind. It was rare so many faces gathered together in the Slums. Most kept to themselves, little more than the occasional gambler's circle bringing this many people together.

Though, the event had caused quite the stir in all circles of Junction. Harmony had wished he had been there... The fear, the torment, the anguish! The mere idea threatened to drive him mad with envy! A small laugh would escape him, a confused eye crossing his way. Really, he didn't mind. People staring was fine...! All he had to do was stare back with the face of an innocent monster... It was enough for people to know to avoid him. Perfect for simply watching people and studying what he jumbled together as 'humanity'.

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:04 am

Learned my lesson after the first time. Folks around her ain't normal, don't think I can trust'em just yet but hey, what else is news? If we're really in the Nine Hells or the Pit or Super Happy Fuck You Land then I gotta keep on my toes! Just gotta treat this like Port Sweetwater and I'll be A-okay. This place is almost as big as a shithole, 'cept it's missing more hookers. Ya think a place like this would be filled with sluts as far as the eye can see but you'd be wrong. Not that I'm lookin' to catch some crotch rot, but folks usually mind their manners 'round the whores a 'lil better. Less chance of a fight, don't wanna hit the ladies. Say what you want about thugs they can be some proper gentlemen. Chivalry isn't dead, it's just butt ugly and breaks kneecaps to earn a silver a day.

So I'm doin' the smart thing and I stick to the rooftops like some kinda broodin' candy ass. It's safer up here. 'Sides this whole let's give fish a fifth of whisky and have them build the damn city kinda landscape makes climbin' easy. Fun too. I ain't had this much fun runnin' up decrepit shacks since... y'know I never really done that in good circumstances so let's just skip right on by. But I'm sneakin' around, bein' real sneaky beaky like. Best way to map out this part of the city. Makes me wonder if this whole damn place looks like a giant barfed up a toolshed and then stirred it around with his asscheeks to rebuild the damn place. Fuggin' crapshacks and shithouses as far as the eye can see I tells ya, all the way out to the horizon, but I'm startin' to figure my way around. People down on the street ain't notice me either, so I guess they're as dull as the poor motherfuckers back home too. Any devil worth half his brimstone farts would've picked me out of the sky and whisked me away to a romantic candlelit dinner and distended asshole by now if that were the case. So this either ain't the Nine Hells or I'm the luckiest sum'bitch for a nautical mile in any direction. ...nah, can't be it.

And then I make a mistake. I get comfy, I get soft. I'm runnin' around on rooftops havin' a gay old time and I get it in my head that I'm good, so I get brave. And when I get brave I get all kindsa morals and conniptions. Fuck you Olaf, you holier-than-thou piece'a shit fer teachin' me the stupid man's ability to give a fuck about others. So I'm runnin' around, it's still darker'n shit, but I make out shapes. I see a buncha assholes around a lamp post gawkin' and actin' like they ain't bein' watched and I just wanna throw a brick at'em and watch'em scatter. Fuggit, it'd be funny as hell but I just gotta watch. They might be useful later, punks that get into shit know a lot of shit. But speakin'a watchin' they ain't alone and I ain't talkin' about yours truly. Someone else is watchin'em. And there ain't nothin' good about someone watchin' thugs like a hawk. Well I mean I do that but you shut yer fuggin' cock hole.

This chump's riiiiiiight below me, too. And I know this ain't my business but I'm feelin' like I got 10 ton balls of granite. Old Man Grub, protector of the jagoffs dealin' drugs, valiant knight of the burnouts and creeps, that's me. But I ain't lookin' to start nothin'. Sometimes all the watcher's gotta know is that someone out there is watchin' them. So I decided I'm gonna spook'im. I "accidentally" kick a shingle off the roof I'm standin' on, shatters right next to the fucker too. The assholes out by the streetlight jump a fuckin' foot, shit their pants and run like pussies, and I'm just up there chucklin' to myself and glarin' down at this guy like a fuggin' gargoyle or some shit.

"Evenin' there longshanks. Were ya gonna fuggem, fight'em, or rob'em?"

I try to say it with a straight face but I chuckled a 'lil at it, it's been a while since I got to really fuck with people. Did I have a good reason? Fuck no I didn't, but if this jagoff just sittin' around watchin' people then he might know some shit. Or he might be some shit. But I was up on the gatdamn roof, the fuck was he gonna do?

Strengths & Weaknesses:

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:38 am

The shingle crashing next to him did nothing for him. Really, the sudden noise only made him grin. He'd lean forward watching the people freak out, their foreheads suddenly sweating, their eyes darting from side to side, then all together they would half run and half leave in fear of being caught! Ah, 'humanity' how utterly predictable! Knowing about their predictability... The easier it was to snap their minds like twigs!

He'd let out a happy laugh, leaning back against his coffin and looking up at the shingle thrower. Such an ugly creature, what tales would he spin? Ah, the anticipation! Would he fall for the Labyrinth like so many did when meeting him? It would be fun to see! Yes, yes it would!

"Aaaah, none none none! None of your answers are the correct one! Kee hee, we were simply watching! Watching and studying, how they act! How they behave! How they fall apart when scared! Such a small noise and yet they scatter like flies! Aaaaah... If only we could feel that fear again... If only we could feel our hearts flutter and our breaths cut short! Kee hee, what a dreamy ordeal." the vampiric man would say in a cheerful voice, a happy sigh escaping him a moment later. No, fear had been ripped from him so, so long ago! He only felt the endless bliss of madness! With a contorted grin, he'd step away from his coffin, spinning in place before returning to staring at the goblin.

"We wonder why you scared them. We wonder if you too relish in fear. Mm, we feel you do not though. We feel you were trying to hurt us! Were they your friends? Aaaaaah, how noble! Kee hee hee!" Harmony would ask with a curious look on his face. He could be actually interesting despite how horrifically ugly he was! Was he too part of 'humanity' in some strange way? Could he broken, driven into the Labyrinth of the Moon? Aaah, one could only hope...

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:23 pm

There we go, the royal we. This guy certainly ain't no local or he's gone and lost his mind, probably both. Dangerous thing about both of those is those types usually belong to those fuggin' doom cults that want to return the Night Mother to the Unholy Sacrement through the blood of the wicked or some kinda garbage like that. But he ain't do nothin' yet, so I ain't worried, cultists are a dime a dozen. Y'think with all that gettin' stabbed in the ass by the good guys they'd do somethin' a little more socially acceptable like taxidermy or some other fucked up nonsense but nope. Gotta summon the Old Ones to purge the unjust. Fuggin' basket cases.

"Nah, ya got me all wrong," I says, heftin' my bony ass to the edge of the crapshack I'm sittin' on so I can kick my feet a bit. Would kick off my shoes if I wore any, cool night like this is good for the bunions.
"If I wanted to hurt ya I woulda aimed about a foot to the right. Also woulda used the brick." I shrug and hold one'a the loose bricks out to show'im that if I was really such a bad guy I'd've painted the street with brain goo before lettin' it tumble outta my hands. Shit drops through the air like bird shit and smashes to pieces on the ground a bit farther than the shingle did. I wave the prissy fuckwit off and go diggin' in my leathers for my pipe, I ain't spookin' the creep so's I might as well enjoy a little chat with the crazies. It might be amusin' fer a while.

" 'Sides, even if I wanted to I don't even gotta" I go, puttin' a match to that sweet, sweet cherrywood tobacco. Righteous fuggin' Pelor that shit tasted like home.
"*cough cough cough* Hrrrrrrnk you keep walkin' 'round a place dressin' all fancy like yer doin' and yer bound to trip and fall on a knife 27 times, catch my drift? *PTOO!" I hock a big loogey off the ledge, big ass piece'a shit, probably had a bit'a lung in it, "but I sorta get the impression you get off on that shit. Yer in the goddamn right place fer it, I'll tell ya that much." Freak'a nature talkin' 'bout how he loves the smell of fear and jerks hisself to the wails of the damned ain't good people in my book, gotta be a cultist fer sure. Probably the Lady of Pain. That bitch was some other whole wacko brand of batshit, gettin' her priests to flagellate the shit outta themselves and wander into fights wantin' to take a nice cold iron to the kidneys. She's kinda hot, though. I'd hit it. I see the appeal.

"Friends don't exist 'round these parts, numbnuts. Only people that wanna bash yer face in and take ya fer all you got and those that don't. And those change on the fuggen bell. Ain't make me a damn bit of difference what a bunch of shit eatin' gutter trash do in their spare time, smoke dope, get their heads cut off, that shit ain't my problem. But I happen to see someone that don't fit the picture and I get a 'lil nosy. Maybe wanna introduce myself." Now I'm the first one to admit that's a fuggen lie straight through what teeth I got left. I ain't no bleedin' heart like Alabastor is but I got some kinda soul livin' in this meat sack. Most folk would turn a blind eye to what mighta happened next, a bunch of worthless human trash sluggin' it out with some psycho motherfuckers. Win fuggen win, right? I'm better than that. In my humble old-assed opinion bandits are people too, they got mouths to feed, they can up and change their ways if ya scare'em enough or just beat'em the fuck up with a vengeance. But cultists? Too fuggen late. That crazy train left the damn station.

But I ain't start shit, I finish it. And right now this ain't no shit and I ain't plannin' on makin' some. Fuggit, gettin' nice'n friendly with the cuckoo motherfucker might lead us down the way to the spell components that Hildebrandt's dumb ass forgot to bring.

People, How Fascinating [Vini] Maxresdefault

"Name's Grubby. Can't wear it out cuz it already is. Kaaah hah ha- *cough hack*!"

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:06 am

Ah, he was indeed a spinster of words! The tales he was spinning, how intriguing... Harmony would look up at the ugly thing with a toothy grin. Oh, he wondered what thoughts were being thought about him! Aaaah, was he a freak? Monster? Probably disgusting? Oh, one could only wish...

"To be done in by a brick! Aah, we must refuse. A brick would do little to harm us in this form. Kee hee, we hope this doesn't stop you from trying though." he'd state with a light laugh, quick steps walking back to his coffin as he hoisted it over his shoulder with the use of the straps attached to it. He'd gently sway as he walked back into the street, spinning ever so gently to look back up at the disgusting creature. He wished to hear more! Ah, so much more...

"We wear what we like. People tend to avoid us because of it! One with cops, one with the nobility! Fools they are, we live here within the shadows." he'd say with a small bit of intrigue to his tone. So, he was one who lived here as well? Or was he simply a common visitor? Ah, those who dared come down here... They made the best prey. "We enjoy pain, this is true. Knives driven into our gut? Don't tempt us with such tantalizing ideas! Ah, we would much prefer doing the stabbing ourselves. Never to kill, killing ruins the enjoyment." he would say with a happy sigh, he'd lower the coffin back on the ground, a tilt to his head as he watched the disgusting creature. Smoking? Ah, what a waste of perfectly good prey. Tainting one's body with such substance! It ruined the blood, clouded the mind! One could never be tortured properly with the use of such revolting substances.

"Oh? You wish to know of us? Kee hee, we find you a liar. We revolt people, scare them away! You wish to study us like we study 'humanity'. Aaaaah, to be lied too... It brings us no pleasure. We ask you study us better, peer into our hearts! Kee hee... Would you even do such a thing?" he'd ask with a softening face. He didn't usually talk to people, not those without being lost in the Labyrinth of the Moon that is... His sister, his closest friend... They were exceptions, to speak to someone who he would never hunt. It was an odd thing he didn't initially know how to approach.

"We are Harmony. Please, study us to your hearts content! Kee hee, the questions you may ask... Will they be worth it?" he'd introduce himself with a gently nod of his head, the madness returning to his eyes. He didn't know if this conversation would prove beneficial in the end, but there was always the chance one of them would slip up, mess up, fall just a little further into madness... That was all he could hope for now.

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Wed Nov 08, 2017 10:40 pm

Flowery 'lil fucknugget, ain't he? Dancin' and twirlin' and carryin' on like bottom of his shoes ain't covered in shit. Probably not dog shit neither. I knew my gut was right, always is, this bastard's gotta be part of some kinda death society. The hee-hawin', the sadomasochism (no, don't tell me how I know what that word is), and most importantly the heeby-fuggen-jeebies pricklin' on my ball sack. If you looked up cultist in the dictionary... it'd probably have words in it, I dunno, I don't fuggen read books. But this guy might as well be covered in severed ears for the fuggen sake of Azmodeus. That's the thing though, he probably don't have to hide it. This is his house which has gotta be why he's so apt to have a pleasant chat with a talkin' cucumber with an ass fer a face. I know what monologues are, I been around the block, kiddo.

"*Rrrrrrrrugh-huh-heh-!*" I hack, chokin' on a lung full'a the good shit. Well right now it's good shit. El'sino'or says I gotta cut it out cuz I'm destroyin' my lungs but hell, what've my lungs ever done fer me lately?
"*ack hack...* Mlem... Now I get why you'd call me a lyin' two-faced inbred shit-fer-brains sonuva bitch and you wouldn't be wrong but ya ain't exactly right this time around." I stand up and put a hand on my hip, blowin' smoke rings outta my pipe fer dramatic effect or some shit. Gotta show'em a 'lil flash before you take the cash.
"See if you's live in the shadows, the way I see it is yer seriously encroaching on my territory." I lean down on the edge like a fuggen gargoyle again. What? It's the only metaphor I got, the fuck would you call this face?
"I ain't so sure if you realize this but there's more than one monster that lives under the bed, and you can torture and maim all damn day but when it comes down to it I don't know a damn thing yer capable of and you don't know a damn thing I'm capable of except... sneakin' up on ya. And when yer in the shadows ain't no one gonna see what happens next if I ever do it twice."

I kinda feel guilty about that one. The guy was all creepy so I turned on the spook, but I ain't lie about a word'a that. The people if you'd even call us that who skulk around in the night all gotta get a bead on each other and do it quick 'fore you become just another murder victim or cult sacrifice, gotta establish boundaries. This place is too close to the shitshack my brothers are holed up in, come hell or high fuggen water this place is in my boundaries. Gotta get Alabastor to sanctify the damn place, reminder fer later.
"So let's do each other a favor, yeah? You don't step on my toes and I won't step on yours. Easy queasy nice'n greasy." And I'm hopin' to Avandra that I don't dick this up. If I ain't manage to scare this guy off or get'im to like me I'm gonna put the whole damn crew at risk. Guess I can't go back to the hideout fer a while. Not like I need to go back fer a change of clothes and a toothbrush.

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Thu Nov 09, 2017 2:12 pm

Oh? This conversation indeed seemed to get interesting. To be threatened by such an ugly creature... It sent a small chill down his multiple tiny spines. He'd grin gently, his eyes glowing a quick flash of white before he'd let out a happy laugh.

"To be threatened! Aaaaaah... We were not aware the ever changing maze of the Slums had territory... We did not mean to cause strife between us. Kee hee, those here make for poor prey, we would never hunt those of your ilk as well. We lay in wait for those from the above. They make such wonderful prey... Oh the maddening tales they spin after we are done with them... Kee hee! Aaaah, to be young within one's madness again!" he'd let out another happy laugh, this one verging on madness. Though, he'd compose himself, looking up at the disgusting creature with an almost childish look on his face. He was curious now, intrigued even! To be threatened... When was the last time he was faced with someone who would actually hold up on that deal?

"We find you interesting. To threaten us and mean it... We wonder what else you are capable of. You are not like most, we like it. Perhaps you are one with 'humanity'... Kee hee, we wonder if you can fall into the Labyrinth of the Moon like we have..." he'd muse to himself, loud enough for the disgusting creature to hear. Really, he was not one to hide his thoughts. Anything he said he said loud enough for the other party to register. It was how he talked, there was no such thing as a filter with him.

"Grubby is your name, yes? We will remember it. Kee hee, one who threatens and means it... Is this a form of observation for you? To see how we act? Aaaaah... Will you even tell us? Kee hee..." he'd say with a still childish look to his face. He was curious, something he was most familiar with. Curiosity always led down deadly roads... And death had a specific madness to it that was as addicting as the substances those down here partake in... Kee heeeeee...

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Sat Nov 11, 2017 5:58 am

Okay so he likes me. I think. He either likes me or he's pullin' my leg and I'm gonna end up in pieces in a gutter somewhere as soon as my back is turned. Knew it'd be a good idea to promise him a bad time. Fuggen maniac. ...shit that makes me feel dirty and I smell like someone took a shit in an ashtray and washed it out with cow piss. I'm disgustin' is what I'm gettin' at, you get the picture. So's this guy gets a stiffy from huntin' down poor motherfuckers and makin' their lives worse and then over. Fan-fuggen-tastic. Not the kinda guy I need to be associated with but I known more horrible people I called friends. 'Sides, this ain't about me and it might be a good thing to have the crazies on yer side if you get in some deep shit. Long as he stays on his side of the fence and don't cross over into mine, that is. I ain't lookin' to spend an evenin' pullin' the organs outta some orphan to make some freak call me his brother, that shit's fucked.

"Everywhere got territory, longshanks," I says, wrappin' my chapped lips around my pipe for another hit'a cherry dream. I tell ya, if this shit came outta a dick I'd suck that thing dry, it's good shit.
"*Phew...* ...anywhere some asshole's got a dagger and some balls, he got territory. And when you got two assholes you got twice as much shit, get it?" I lean down on the rain gutter with my hands on my knees, lookin' at the bastard closer. He's greener'n an orcs virgin taint, I can tell. Any rogue worth his salt knows how the game is played, where to hit and where not to, where yer welcome and where yer gonna get yer cock slapped. Come to think of it, I ain't see no thieve's runes fer all my time here neither, and that shit's every fuggen where in the poor side'a town. But yeah, he ain't know the game, makin' me sold on my suspicion that he's some psycho fuggen organ tickler that prays to a squid in space or some stupid shit like that.
"So's ya gotta draw the line somewhere or someone's gonna be installin' a few new holes in some poor fucker's neck but that guy owed this other jagoff some money and this and that and it gets fuggen stupid real quick, lemme tell ya. So we'll just say this 'lil spot's mine... and about 3 blocks up there... 20 blocks down that'a way... and fuggit, we're goin' with a dozen in either other direction. Pretty much anywhere you see my ugly mug you keep that thing in yer pants," I says, gesturin' in a couple different directions.

It's true, I been markin' this place in thieve's runes every few blocks I go. Ain't no mistakin' it's me either, I mean I ain't no artist but the shit looks like a fuggen gob with a hook nose. Ain't too many of those civilized enough to read'em and certainly ain't fuggen here. I might be the only fuggen green-skinned 'lil shit dick in this place, which won't bother me too much. Fuck those dumb turd burglars. Anyway's so I can't help but notice he mentions "the above" and I ain't think he's talkin' 'bout waitin' in the wings. Makes sense, that shit in the sky's gotta be somethin' more than just a fuggen eyesore. Might be a way to get up there, I gotta check that out sometime.

" 'Humanity' ain't got nuthin' to do with it, chat'oor," I hiss at Creepy McSadist. Now I been fuggen around fer a 'lil while but I ain't gettin' called human. Yer pasty ass gonna insult me yer gonna get insulted back. Fer fuggen Azmodeus if you'd'a said that in the coven you'd be grilled extra crispy and served on sticks. I suck on my pipe like its fuggen tit milk, blowin' a good bit'a smoke out my nose 'fore I answer the bastard. I could use a bit'a the calm to keep me from goin' off and pullin' my dagger. 'Specially when I ain't brought it with me.
" 'n I can fit my ankles behind my ears but you gotta ask real nice fer that one. Keh ha- *cough wheeze*... gatdamn... If you ain't notice yet from the green skin and the ass where my face is 'sposed to be I'm a gob, not one'a you longshanks, 'n this fuggen moon maze is only interestin' if it's got somethin' shiny at the end of it and not some sacrificial altar where ya stab babies or some shit," I says. Labyrinth of the Moon sounds like a dungeon enough, but like one'a those cultist dungeons with the creepy mishmashed animal people that somehow manage to be uglier than I am and rotatin' axe traps and all that malarky. Unless Hilderbrandt gives the go ahead to search it fer some of his spell juice I ain't steppin' two feet in a place like that.

"Nah, I ain't smart enough to do none'a that recon shit. I'm just a gob with a pointy piece'a metal and a strong dislike of goin' hungry at night," I tell'im, an obvious lie. That's part of the game, kiddo. He knows I'm lyin', I know he knows I'm lyin', and he knows I know he knows I'm lyin', y'know? I been judgin' this jagoff since before he ever seen me and that ain't gonna stop, that's just how you play. And the loser gets a knife in his ribcage a week from today, that's how that shit goes. It's an arms race, I give threats, he backs off, but I ain't go too far or it looks like I'm an ornery 'lil fuckwagon that don't know what he's doin' and he'll take advantage of that. Balancin' act, whatever ya call it, but ya both gotta stay on yer toes.

I take one last long puff from the pipe 'fore I step off the roof without warning. It's a good drop, over a story 'n a half, any human woulda broke his damn ankles from a fall like that. Anyone that ain't a rogue anyway, we're better than that. And I'm a gob, falls like that don't do shit to me, I just slink with the fall and I'm sittin' pretty like a godddamn cat.

Racial Strength:

I blow all that smoke out my hooked nose, lacin' the air in a sweet-smellin' ash. That's that cherrywood, buddy boy. Most smoke smells like cooked dog shit but cherrywood's a real dream, lemme tell ya. I stalk over to the fuckwit, 'lil out in the light fer my likin' but it's not like I wasn't on the fuggen roof anyway and I'll be back up there in less than a minute. Holdin' out my hand, I hauk up a huge as loogey and spit it in my palm.
"*HoooooooOOOOORK! ...Ptoo!* But anyways, it sounds like we got an understanding, Harmony." The name sits on my tongue like bird droppings, such a goddamn noble's name. Almost feel sorry for the poor asshole. Ya need a man's name, like Chopper or Sleaze. Or John. I always liked that name, y'know cuzza the toilet humor. I extend my calloused-assed mitt out to the bastard, smilin' with all the charisma I got in my beady 'lil eyes and smoke-stained teeth.
"Shake on it?"

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:25 pm

A grin, a gentle laugh, a maddening gaze. Harmony would shake his head, a contradiction in logic! He may be completely insane, consumed by the Labyrinth of the Moon... Aaah, but he observed humanity. He knew what they were made of, how they acted, what they did... He was clearly talking by the skin of his teeth, was he trying to intimidate again? Aaaah, if only he could know...

"Kee hee, then what if you arrive on our front door? Within our favored hunting grounds? Would that become your territory then? Aaaah, and then, what if you were not here just now? It would stop being your territory! Your words are hollow. You wish to scare us, threats of murder... Yet we said a brick would be incapable of doing us in... What makes you think a knife would do anything? Yet, as we said before, we wish not to hunt you and your ilk. You seem rather dense in that area... A person who wishes no harm, and yet you still try and intimidate them... Kee hee... We wonder what you are thinking..." Harmony would say with a childish tone to his voice. He was curious, somewhat annoyed, interested in this new aspect of 'humanity'. He made little sense, was disgusting, and whose blood was surely tainted... Yet he didn't want to leave just yet, no! He wanted to talk, to play this game they were playing! Aaaaah, his hearts would pound in unison... He was excited.

"Oh, you think we are of humanity? Aaaaah... How wrong... We hunt humanity, we never associate ourselves with it. Though, that would be a lie for us. We study humanity, we adore what strangeness they get too... It is because of humanity we are like this, lost forever in the Labyrinth of the Moon... It is not a place, it is what drives one insane. The maze in your mind, twisted, corrupted, plunged into darkness. The Labyrinth of the Moon emerges when you loose yourself to the ecstasy of insanity." he'd state with a happy grin, it was weird how he kept mentioning his pants. As if he had anything there... Kee hee, what a strange, strange being this was.

"You disappoint us, to let go of such a generous opportunity... We suppose you are an oddity... Shake? For us to avoid you, and for you to avoid us... We simply can't agree with that. We wish to meet you again. You fascinate us, kee hee... This may put us at odds we are afraid... You have simply come across as too interesting to pass, Grubby." he'd say with a childish grin that soon took on a different meaning. Madness was swirling in his eyes, he knew something great could come out of their understanding of each other... Aaaah, even better if they could never see eye to eye! To be lost in insanity, to be mocked, taunted, threatened! He was too valuable to forever avoid...

Subject: Re: People, How Fascinating [Vini] Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:56 pm

I don't like this guy. I really don't like this guy. The gauntlet has been thrown, yessir, no turnin' back now. I don't even think I had a fuggen chance to begin with, just what I get for lookin' out for scumbags. Thought I could be "friends" with the jagoff, let me be a freak alongside'im but nooooo. Guess I should never pretend to be somethin' I'm not. But I can always be somethin' I am and that's a tough old bastard and a pedigree thug. Like I said before, come hell or high water I will protect this territory fer the sake of my brothers and sister and if you fuck with me or anyone I care about I'll show ya what a monster really is. Won't be the first time, with my luck won't be the last neither. But I press my luck, it's what I always been good at and so far I'm standin' on two legs and got two eyes in my head so I'll keep fuggen doin' it 'til it stops fuggen workin'.

"Yer doin' me a real insult by not shakin' my hand, longshanks," I let'im know, tiltin' my head down with a two-faced toothy grin that ain't friendly no matter where you come from. I don't wanna be on this guy's bad side. I don't wanna be on anyone's bad side but I don't make the freaks of the wheel we call Life. But I know what he is now and he's fulla himself so I tell'im the score.
"Y'see the handshake's an official courtesy of ours in the dark, I don't just wanna touch yer hand cuz frankly I got no idea where the fuck it's been. No but this here handshake signifies a truce between us. I'm a scary guy, you're a scary guy, so let's not try to shit on each other's pancakes, aright? You don't step on my tulips and I won't shit on yer lawn, just common manners. But now your goin' on an' sayin' things like It ain't your territory when you're not here and I don't think you can stop whatever I wanna fuggen do and that's makin' me think that you don't wanna be friends with ol' Grubby or you don't know how this shit works yet, so I'm gonna give you the benefit'a the doubt and put my least ugly foot forward here, be the bigger man. Cuz if I were to assume the other thing it sorta sounds like you don't respect me or anything I got goin' on and I'm tellin' ya right now that better people have counted a gob out and wound up face down in the gutter before sunrise."

Like I said and I'll say it til I'm fuggen blue in the goddamn face, I'm dumb but I ain't stupid. I know what he is. Not human, hunts humans, cryptic motherfucker, likes pain, longshank-lookin' ass, lives on the Plane'a Shadow. Jagoff's a vampire, no bones about it. Now can I take on a vampire by myself? Probably fuggen not but he don't know that and I'm at least gonna ruin his day. Besides... it ain't me he's gotta worry about. I'm just the messenger, the Prince of Fools of my merry band of motherfuckers. It's the wizard and the paladin he should be scared of. But out here on my own I ain't callin' for big brother to fight my battles. It's me and it's him.
"Now I ain't mean to threaten ya and don't get me wrong, that ain't what I'm doin' here. I wanna get us off on the same stroke, ya get me? But this is the greetin' we do when two motherfuckers that call the shadows home meet face to face: Hi, I don't wanna hurt ya or nothin', but all this stuff over here is mine, including the whos the whats and the wheres and I understand that all'a that stuff is yours and I ain't gonna fuck with it. And just like you would I'll let you know that if you fuck with me I will destroy you and e-ver-y fuggen thing you ever held dear and I'll have a ragin' stiffy the whole time that I do it. Now you can come and visit, shoot the shit, catch up on old times over on my side'a the house but anything you'd call fun you do over in your spot, everywhere but here is yours but this place is mine and mine alone and I can't trust a word you fuggen say until we reach an agreement. So whadda ya say?"

I jut my arm out again, emphasizin' that it would be a pretty damn smart idea to shake my hand as my "nice guy" grin turns into an ugly frown. And ugly by my standards. I blow some smoke outta my nose from the pipe sittin' in my mouth.

"Put'er there, pal."

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