When a Hoo needs to find a way. [Jack/8D]

Bernard had managed to find herself flapping around that day, after all she was an owl, and therefore preferred to exist outside instead of laying inside all day within a cage. Hoo,Hoo. Hoo.The owl would utter out as she continued to flap across the sunny land, her snowy feathers standing out to anyone that really noticed them. She would perch herself on one of the branches of a tree and simply stare out into the distance, observing everything around her and not really doing much. This was after all the nature of a hoo, to simply look out into the distance and watch. Nothing entertaining had grabbed her eye yet so far, so in a sense the owl could be considered as "bored".

"Uh... Excuse me buddy, but you're ruining my camouflage..." Said the tree as the branch that Birdy McBirdface landed on would shake slightly, clearly tying to get the bird to make like a banana and leaf. "Seriously Birdy McBirdface! I you're gunna blow my cover harder then a 2 dollar, wait... I'm not aloud to do those kinds of jokes?... Alright fine... Like a 2 dollar hair dryer! Ehehehe" Should the buurd not take the hint and fly the coop a very familiar head would burst out from the trunk of the tree that, upon closer inspection, was made of nothing more then paper mache and enriched uranium. The clowns happy grin would shake as he laughed and rose his eyebrows. "Heeeeeeere's Clowny! Ehehehe"  

8D laughed for a good moment before sighing and turning his attention to the bird that had made his costume it's resting place "...Hi!... I don't usually talk to animals but you're a PC so what the heck, hows it going Hedwig?... Hedwig... Why name an owl Hedwig? I mean Hed sure cus it sounds like Head and owls are like ninety percent Head, but wig? Birds don't wear wigs!
Silly Pothead Ehehehe!"

It seemed bernard would attempt to sit down on the branch, and suddenly be interrupted by a shaking sensation. Just what was it that happened to cause that? The owl would look around confused as the branch moved slightly, turning her head around to find absolutely nothing. Hoo?The owl uttered in a confused matter, before a sudden head burst out from the trunk of the tree, causing Bernard to flap up violently and start hooing frantically. Hoo Hoo, Hoo!!!She was now startled and threatened, just what was it about this tree and why was she hearing a voice? Now some strange person that sounded like a guy was referring to her as a "PC" or whatever that was, humans sure had the strangest words to use about things, or people. Hooooooooo?Bernard would visibly tilt her head to the side in a form of confusion, the joke this person had said was rather weird, but it would make Bernard giggle a little on the inside due to how bizarre it sounded. She couldn't reveal that she could laugh however, it would give away too much too soon...Keeping herself now perched on the strange branch to watch around.

"Hey hey hey! Watch that language Owly Mcbeal! Geeze Louise do you kiss your mother with that beak! Ehehehe I swear back in my day birds had respect" 8D laughed and shook his head at the absurdity of it all. Honestly, birds today just dropping F-Bombs left and right... Thinking they were the hot droppings... Spitting hot owl pellets with their Nest Boys. Listening to that Hipity Hop Music with your Swoop Dogs and Other bird puns..."Honestly I expected better Ascended One. But eh, what can ya do when you're talken to a bird. Any Hoo, Ehehe, I do believe I told you to fly on, you're being a real PINE! Ehehehe!" 8D laughed a bit louder at that joke then he intended, drawing the attention of a woman who was sitting on a bench not to far away from his position. A she looke over 8D would let out a small "EEP" before pulling his head back in and staying quiet. Seeing nothing out of the ordenairy, the woman would shrug and turn her attention back to her book and guarding her grocery bags.

"Ya see that! You almost ruined everything!" 8D would say with a small snicker "I've been watchen her for a while... She comes here every week and well... Lets just say I'm aiming to get me a sweet honey if you catch my drift! Ehehehe! Oh who am I kidding, you're a bird, you catch drifts all the time! Ehehe! Oh I'm hilarious..."

HooHooHoo?The owl was even more confused by the strange man that kept speaking to her, yet she was unable to identify who this person was, or where they were. When they started to refer to Bernard as a ascended one, the owl would let out an unusual an dvery strange sound of. HooHOhohohohohohohooooooooo.The expression would come out like a machine gun sputter of an unusual laugh, however it was the only way an owl could biologically """"""""""""""laugh"""""""""". This person was rather ridiculous, who were they and where were they? The owl simply mused to herself as she remained literally perched on the person she was interacting with.

Then came the manner of why the man was there, apparently he was watching a girl that comes here every week or something. Is this the mating procedure for the human species? Out of intrigue, the owl would flap down from the branch to the ground below, and start to harvest a few flowers inside of her mouth, pecking at them one at a time to harvest them out of their little green stalks. Before flapping back to the branch with them in toe and placing them on it. It was a roughly plucked mix of red, yellow and white flowers that happened to be in the ground. Perhaps this would make the person come out of hiding finally if she presented a "gift" to help with his mating ritual.

"Flowers?... Why, AvianYouFlu! You're a genius! I'll get that Honey for sure with these!" 8D snickered and reached from his tree disguise and grasped the flowers with the passion and heart of twenty water buffalo. Not waiting any time on fevility or going back and making sure he spelled frivolity correctly, which he did not the first time, 8D pulled from the depths of his tree his handy dandy slingshot and loaded the floral payload into the sling. "Fly straight and true..." 8D let fly the flowers of war, which went about two feet before fluttering to the ground harmlessly.

"Bulls eye! Ehehe.... Wait... Hold on just one second..." 8D stared blankly at the discarded flowers for well over a minute before a sudden and startling revelation came to him. "That didn't work at all!.... Aw poo nuggets... Got any other ideas MC.BirdPants?"

The owl would flap her wings in accordance to what Grins would say to her, perhaps the flowers would assist him in the strange human mating ritual that these people engaged in. However the owl could turn her head in confusion upon seeing the flowers get pulled it and the man say something about aiming.Hoo?The owl would hoo in a rather confused manner, before noticing the flowers failing to get launched anywhere and simple being drawn down onto the ground by gravity. Had Bernard met a crazy person or something? Whatever he was trying to do involving the woman, she clearly could not tell outside of what she had originally thought. However the Owl would flap above into the tree they were in and pick out a few leaves, before setting them out across the branch she was on. Hoo, Hoo. Hoo.

"Leaves? You're a Genius Mr.McNuggets!" 8D would whisper shout as he grabbed the leaves and began to staple them together. Where did 8D get a stapler from? Why that's simple my dear reader, ya see he was just walking though downtown one day and he thought to himself "Golly Gee, Ya know what I could use in my day to day life? A letter opener!" So he decided to pop on down to the local office max and check to see if they had any themed letter openers that might pertain to his general personality and interests. Though come to think of it, if he wanted one that was clown themed he would have probably been better served looking for one online... But that's not important to the story. So there he was in the Office max looking for a letter opener when this guy walks up to him and asks

"Hey is there anything I can help you find today sir?" Which 8D felt was a little odd seeing as how he was wearing a clown costume and looking at letter openers. The whole situation should have been really weird and off putting right? But no, here's this guy asking to help him out like 8D was just an average Joe off the street looking for some stationary.

"Uh, Yeah actually, I'm looking for a clown themed letter opener" 8D responded flatly, that's the part that got to him the most. Somehow this clerk had Jedi Mind Tricked him into acting like a normal human being right back!

"Ah, well here is where we have all our Letter openers, so if we have it it would be here, although we are having a sale today, buy any product of ten dollars or less get another item of equal or lesser value free," said the clerk. Frankly, that deal sounded pretty darn good to 8D at the time. Along with a letter opener, the bar's been really needing a new stapler. The one they've been using is really old and breaks more stables then it manages to use.

"Say, now there's a deal. Do you guys carry staplers?" 8D would ask to which the Clerk would nod and ask that 8D fallow him to the stapler section. Once there 8D quickly picked out three staplers of different quality and price, making sure each was under ten dollars, and took them back to the Letter opener section. Ya see, he wanted to make sure he was getting the best deal for his money. Luckily the letter openers were all priced lower then the highest priced stapler. Meaning he could get a really nice letter opener along with a good quality Stapler all for less then ten bucks. Sure neither would be clown themed but at this point the deal more then made up for that fact. So with his letter opener and stapler picked out, 8D checked out and was on his merry way.

And that's where he got that stapler! Once he was done stapling the leaves together 8D would chuck the wad of staples and leaves at the woman only for it to fall short by a few feet."Aw dang it..."

Hoo. Hoo Hoo.The owl would simply hoo. The guy was rather interesting, and bernard had appeared to help out with his shenanigans, but overall she was rather confused on how to feel about the guy who keeps trying to mate with a woman.Hoo Hoo. Hoo.The owl would cry out, as she would stare at the woman, before flapping her way over to gain her attention. She would flap over nearby to the woman and flap her wings while hooing adorably in order to garner her focus on the owl for now.

It was the waiting game, she had to test if this would remotely work out in the first place...

Once Owl finaly did what he was brought here to do and distracted the lady girl-GAH- 8D burst from the tree in slow motion from no less then three camera angles while a sick guitar riff played in the background. Once the special effects wore off 8D would sprint towards the woman screaming bloody murder, which incidentally she would also scream once she noticed him. As he closed, he would leap for the grocery bag and grab it mid flight. "GOT IT! Thanks Birdy!"

8D would hit the ground with a roll and spring to his feet. He would only take a moment to reach into the bag and claim his prize, a brand new bottle of Honey!  "I did it! I got that sweet honey! Ehehehe... Nice gag huh? Ehehehehe!" 8D would laugh long into the night as he ran into the horizon....











"...The fuck?" asked the woman.

Bernard would stare off into the distance, incredibly confused at how the man had just ran off into it after making some form of a tactical get away. The owl would remain confused, as she flapped off into the day, wondering what the hell she had just witnessed.

[EXIT]