Henry Mortimier and 8D in: Tragicomedy for dummies.

This is Henry. He's a very cheerful person.
He's also a coroner and pathologist.
At this moment, Henry was simply taking a walk down to the forest with his pet bird, Shirokarasu.
"Ah... ain't nature beautiful, Shiro?" He said to it.
"So full of life... just waiting to end. Ah... the beauty of the natural cycle of life, death, and rebirth. Beautiful, ain't it?" He said to it.
It simply cawed in reply.
"Yup! Thought so!" He said, then he crashed into someone else.
"Oh! I'm sorry! Are you okay? You're not dead are you? I'm always eager for more bodies, but not when i'm on a day off!" Henry exclaimed.

"Yep! I'd say he's dead!"

8D's chipper and well intentioned voice would seemingly come out of nowhere as he stepped out of Henry's blind spot and into view. Funny, wasn't there a second ago was he? The brightly dressed clown looked down at the cadaver that was once a man and shook his head at the tragedy of the situation. The man Henry bumped into was in fact quite old and decrepit, at this point a slight breeze would be all it would take to end the poor man's life-Oh come on no one will get that one.- Henry plowing into the man at full force was more then enough to do the old man in.

"I'd say you're a murderer! I dun seen it yes I did, this old man is dead! Nyuk Nyuk," 8D giggled at the absurdity of it all and at the bemused expression that Henry surely had. "Shame that, I'm sure the old feller wasn't expecting such a GRIM day! Ehehehe OH I shouldn't laugh. A man is dead..." The clown grined from ear to ear and turned his attention to Henry-What?... Where you expecting something else to happen? Ehehehehe-

Henry jumped slightly, and checking the man's pulse, confirmed that the clown was indeed wrong. As a matter of fact, the old man would be fine, having landed on some soft earth instead of hard sidewalk.
He was surprisingly sturdy, for someone his age. He'd be up and at them again soon.
"NOPE! Wrong! DEAD wrong, I should say. Although that last one is kinda funny." Henry said cheerfully.
"Now, if he were, ol' Shiro here would have said something by now." Henry said, looking at his silent pet crow.
"Buuuut it might be best to dash for now. Can't have anyone start asking questions that could lead to an arrest, do we?" He asked him, grabbing the clown by the hand.
"Come on! Let's talk more over there! You look interesting, for a clown that is." He remarked as he dragged the clown off to a bench some yards away to go sit down and talk.

"..." 8D sighed slightly as his mark marched off to the bench. The hand he held was cold, metalic, almost like a dolls hand. Yet it felt almost clammy and spongy, like a fresh cadaver, a feeling he would surely know well. When he got to the bench and sat down he would notice that the odd looking clown was still standing by the "corps" If he looked over the clown would offer a short wave with what appeared to be a stump of a hand. It would take him a good ten seconds of waving to notice however, once he did though he would begin screaming and pointing to the hand that Henry had seemingly pulled off him. The screaming would go on for a bit before he pulled his sleeve up and revealed his perfectly intact hand."Ehehehe, I must HAND it to you, you've got quite the GRIP! Ehehehe!"

8D would wipe a tear from his eye before bending down and slipping a fiver into the old mans shirt pocket."It's alright pal you tried, go hide in the bushes and we'll get the next one, ehehe," The old man offered a quick thumbs up from his prone and dead position before bounding to his feet and rushing into the bushes."You just can't find good help these days..." 8D would chuckle and make his way to the odd man and stand by the bench "Know what I mean? Ehehe."

"Well! I myself wasn't fooled for a second!... Although I was going to ask if you needed a HAND!" Henry said, laughing. "I'm a Coroner and Pathologist, silly. I know my bodies just as well as any other doctor. So I couldn't have pulled off your hand. Unless you were a robot or something with multiple hands. But what are the odds of that?"Henry said, still laughing until the robot finally came over to the bench.

"Although... I do get what you mean." He said, sighing. "Good help IS hard getting harder to find these days... believe me... I know. I'm burying of them! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He said, laughing still.

"Oh you're no fun," 8D chuckled at the man's seeming indifference to his attempted jokes. Honestly the guy should loosen up and not try to see the wires, life was a lot simpler when 8D could do that. Hell he would go back to that way of life if he could... But such is life! Why this guy consciously chose to not play along he would never know... He would however chuckle at the man's reuse of the joke 8D had made a few seconds ago."It's all up the sleve my friend! A bit of slight of hand and a bit of trickery is all it takes, ehehehe, though a coronor is quite outside what I was expecting, ehehe. Your skill caught my little pranks DEAD in the water! EHehehehe!"

8D would wipe a tear from his eye before continueing, good laugh, goooood laugh. "OOOoooh, You have some good jokes yourself do you! Eheheh! That was a rather good one! Unfortunately I don't think my companion hiding in the bushes may become one of yours here pretty soon, Ehehehehe!"

"Sorry. I'm trying hard not to CORPSE though. Even though I caught those jokes DEAD on, I probably would have dropped DEAD of laughter myself if it weren't funnier to me to just constantly keep a straight face. That, and you could blame my facial paralysis... if I had any, that is." He said.

"But thank you, though. Your companion did his part well. I actually thought for a second there it was an accident, not someone setting me up to FALL for it." He said, gracefully accepting the clown's praise... but not without leaving a bit of his own remarks on it.

"Say... what's your name anyway? I'm Henry Spica Mortimier, M.D. in Pathology. And believe me when I say that when you're writing a thesis, you really do have to practically work yourself to death!" He said, laughing at his own joke.

"Snrk... Pfft..." 8D held it together for a few moments... It was all he could really do... Despite all his willpower and strength he burst into a fit of hysterics and laughed long and hard at the jolly death man's puns. He wasn't to half bad! Though it seemed like he did have a bit of a sctick with the whole death thing but that could be forgiven quite easily. After all he did manage a triple pun (Using the same one twice dose not count, so the two "Dead" puns count as one) Though he did well all things considered, Bravo!

"OH my good man of death you are quite the jokester! My name is Grins, Grins the clown, charmed!" 8D would offer his hand out to the man with a bow and a small smile"Thank you for your kind words about my assistant, he is trying his best but the poor man's age is getting to him. Perhaps he may die durring the course of the day! How might I contact you if such a tragedy were to occur?"

"Oh, here's my business card! I forgot to mention, I own my own funeral home in Sunlake Palms, the Mortimier Mortuary! Best present I ever got." He said, handing the clown a business card.
"And how can I contact you, in the event I find him? I need to know if his job has any DEATH benefits, after all." He asked the clown, slightly more serious than before.

"Ah Very good! I shall keep this on hand in case I come across any dead bodies in my day to day activities! Do you offer bulk discounts? Ehehehe!" 8D happily took the card and slipped the card into his pants and produce one of his own."AAAAAnd here is mine, please do call me if you need a clown for parties, bar mitzvah, and birthdays! Ehehehe" 8D would bow and chuckle. Hopefully this would lead to more business

"Now my good man, unless you had need of my services in the immediate I must take my leave, I think my friend has found a new mark."

"Mmm... we do! But we gotta do it while they're still alive, and it's only for the funeral plot. It'd be a GRAVE mistake not to do this kind of stuff beforehand. Trust me, you don't know how bad it gets when they don't" Henry said. He then took the business card, and put it into his pocket.

"Well then, if you must go... see ya!" He said, waving goodbye to the strange clown.
Exit. Grade: S. Superb!

Soundtrack:
Opening theme (s-links)/Macabre Man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om3W3GFu9LY

8D's Theme (Henry)/ Drop dead with Laughter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijrzwMLd218

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» The Madness of Henry Mortimier (For Masako)
» What a Beautiful Day (Henry)
» Henry's Compendium
» Henry's Social Links.
» A Simple Task [Henry's Awakening]