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| Numb (Mae) | |
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Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| | | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Sun Oct 04, 2015 10:46 am | |
| Numb... Mae walked silently down the streets of San Malarus after a visit to her mother... She felt a bit empty... Kinaku was going to move on from Azores soon... Oh, how Mae wanted to tag along... But she had important things to deal with here first... And first on her list of things to do was... well... Seeing Rin... Last time they had met, things went pretty badly... So, it was up to her, Rin's closest friend, to keep a watchful eye on the Passive Musician... And there she was... Outside the studio, looking through the glass doors apprehensively before entering... If Mallory was there, she would give her a gentle smile before asking: " Excuse me, Mallory-chan... Is Rin available by any chance...?"
Last edited by Jerry-kun on Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:42 pm; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:30 pm | |
| The studio itself was empty save the secretary and a blonde haired boy sitting on the couch with a PSP in hand. It seemed he was playing some sort of game, though, exactly what escaped the secretary as she watched him from her desk. The days had been slow and, to be frank, scary... The plane wasn't allowed to take off while the storm was as bad as it was... Rin's parents were lucky to have left when she did...
The secretary stayed silent, not even looking up and over to the door when it opened. It was probably Calvin coming back or one of the other musicians stopping by to pick up a piece of equipment or drop off their last deposit... This place was finally being shut down after so long... Huh... Moving away from Azores would be weird, to say the least... Maybe it'd be better for Dustin though... Get away from somewhere so filled with memories..."E-Eh?" the secretary said in a confused voice, looking up at Mae with an equally as confused look. She hadn't expected that, to say the least... She hadn't expected any of Rin's friends to stop by at a time like this... It was a nice change of pace, at the least... Even with Rin in the mood she was in...
"O-Oh, Mae! Ah, welcome... Mhm. Rin's in her booth like usual now a days... You can go see her if you'd like. Just be gentle, alright? She's been... Down lately, as you know..." the secretary said with a weak smile before waving Mae towards the back. She returned to whatever work she had to do before looking towards her son again... What was he thinking...?
Regardless, Rin was still inside her booth, singing away. She would sigh occasionally, sometimes simply listening to the music. It was the song of her soul, in a way... The song of a weak and passive musician... | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:55 pm | |
| So... that was Mallory's kid? Mae looked at the boy playing his game with a curious look before returning her attention to Mallory. She seemed to have been lost in her own thoughts, judging by her reaction... Not that Mae blamed her. She found herself lost in her own thoughts quite often too, so she wasn't in a position to judge.
"Alright... Thanks." Mae gave Mallory a gentle smile before she headed towards Rin's booth... Of course, it wasn't difficult to find... She knew her way around here fairly well by now, considering how many times she had been here over the last couple of months. Walking through these hallways now felt a bit surreal... After the escapade over at the Tower, it was a bit odd to walk down these halls to check up on her friend... Back then, she had seen a side of her friend that she never wanted to see again... Hopefully nothing made Rin snap like that in the near future...
Mae found herself standing outside Rin's booth, carefully listening to Rin's music, making sure she was not seen or heard herself... Right now, she wanted listen to the music for a while... To think that she had such a beautiful voice... And she stuck to being a DJ was quite astounding... "You should use that voice of yours more often, Rin..." Mae said, once her friend's song died down... She walked in, smiling gently towards her friend before sitting down on a chair... "How are you holding up...?"
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| | | Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Sun Oct 04, 2015 5:04 pm | |
| She continued singing, signing until her voice was getting somewhat sore before ending her song. She switched her turntables off and sighed, leaning against her chair. She'd look up and blink, surprised for a few reasons. One, Mae was here... Two, the two way mic was on... Huh... That was unexpected..."I... Nah... I'm a better DJ than I am a singer..." she said with a gentle sigh, spinning in her seat a little. She was tired... This day had been boring... And tiring... It's just lame, really... Though, that's what happens when people like her finally tell people how they really feel...
"... I'm fine... Not really up to snuff... But I'll get better..." she said with a nod of her head, gently huffing as she looked up at her ceiling. At least she had a friend to talk to now... It was getting boring playing the same games with Dustin... | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:59 am | |
| "Heh... If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." Mae said with a gentle smile as she closed the door behind her. "Not that I'm saying you should stop being a Disk Jockey... But don't let that voice go to waste either. It'd be nice to sing along on stage someday." Yeah... That would've been nice... "What do you say, Rin? After all this is over... how about the two of us start a band or something?" It was just a suggestion. Not that Mae had anything against it. In fact, she wouldn't have taken anyone else. Rin was the only one that Mae trusted enough to do something like this with that had any musical talent... "We'd of course need to run it by Calvin or something... Unless, of course, you're going to go back to your parents..." She bit her own lip lightly, looking at the microphone... She really didn't want Rin to leave...
"Well... I hope it gets better... Say... Just for old times sake... why don't we have one last jam session...?" Mae asked. Hopefully Rin said yes... "So... Did you hear Gonea's message too?" She eventually asked, looking back on Rin, with a slight look of worry on her face... Gonea's message had been... interesting... Rin and everyone else had lost their blessings... Well, if the event was going to make a return, Mae was ready for it... No way that she would back down from this a second time... | |
| | | Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Mon Oct 05, 2015 3:03 pm | |
| Those first words felt hollow... Putting her mind to what she did... It didn't accomplish anything, really... It ended horribly... It ended in that snap... The snapping that proved this event had corrupted her... It stunk to be so wrong... Rita read her like a book and it pissed her off... Pissed her off more than it probably should...
"I use my voice in some of my songs... But, not very often... I'm a better musician, honestly... If I sound nice, it's just because of luck I guess... But, I wouldn't mind singing once or twice on my tour whenever that comes around..." she said with a nod of her head, huffing before leaning back heavily in her chair. Boredom was so suffocating... But... She couldn't tell if she was more bored than she was devastated. She still felt weak... Empty... Alone... But, she made a promise... And she'd keep it.
"A band...? I'm not sure, Mae... Statistically, DJ Ri Rain's a solo act... I occasionally have guests join me but besides that, I'm usually alone... A disk junkey doesn't always collaborate with others and... I'm not sure if leaving DJ Ri Rain is the right decision for my career... I'm as famous as I am because of her and my career is still very young... Maybe in the future, I suppose... It'd be fun, you know?" she said in a surprisingly professional voice. She knew a lot about music production and careers in music... After all, this was her life... She took it seriously, though, probably more seriously than she should have... Her emotions were all over the place, to be fair...
"Eh? I... I dunno... I wouldn't mind but..." she'd sigh, hugging herself gently. She hadn't been in the mood to be... Passionate about anything... Dustin was getting annoyed she wasn't trying to beat him at anything... She'd actually been on a loosing streak on Smite as well... "... I guess we can... But... I don't know... I just... Don't feel inspired or anything... You know?" she said with a roll of her eyes, staring down at her turn tables. She hadn't actually played them in a long while... It was like this event had stolen her entire life... And she had simply allowed it to... She'd continue to live for Asha's ideals though... She wouldn't stop...
"... Yes... I... I'm not going to fight her... There's no point in me doing so... I've given up on this event... I know what Asha wanted and no one here wants that... No one wants to think about what humanity wants... And even if I... Corrupted Asha's wish... I know this event can still bring good... But... No body wants to see that... Rebellion... I suppose that's all people want... Rebelling against anything that goes against their views... No wonder we ca-" she stopped herself, realizing her fists were tightly clenched in her lap, her voice had began to get passionate before she looked away, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest. The conductor hummed within her head, gently brushing the edged of her mind with her song... She clenched her eyes shut. She didn't want these thoughts to come back... She didn't want these thoughts to come back... She just wanted to forget about every selfish person she had met here... Hyde, Oki, and Mae... Everyone else saw no compromise... It... It wasn't worth beating herself up over again... "I... I don't want to talk about it... Please... Just... I don't want to remember anything about this event... It's... The... I just can't..." she said finally, spinning her chair away from the window and away from Mae's line of sight. She was crying now... But, that was expected... She hated what she had become... Weak... Weak with no face to hide behind... No facade of strength or spite... She was an empty husk of what she had been... One with only one weak purpose to live for someone that was gone... A wish no one wanted... That was all she was now... | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Tue Oct 06, 2015 11:06 am | |
| "Hehe. Then you have something to look forward to, no? This tour and everything... Where do you actually plan on going?" Mae asked with a bright smile on her face. She had been curious as to where Rin would be going once this was all over... Going on tour, yes... but where?
"Heh... I suppose that was just wishful thinking on my part..." Mae said eventually. She had expected an answer like that... but still, Mae couldn't help but feel a bit dissapointed... But then again, it was Rin's choice, not hers. "Well, after this is all over... I'm probably going to start looking for my real parents again... They are the sole reason as to why I came to Azores in the first place..." There had simply not been enough time for her to go on a dedicated search for them recently, due to everything that was going on... But once this was all over, Mae would start looking again... For her past... Where she came from... "I just wanna see her once, at least, you know? My real mother that is." Of course, she had been speculating as to what her real mother was like on numerous occasions... Over the course of her life, Mae had been constantly chasing after them... She needed to know where she came from...
"Ah... I see..." Mae said eventually. "We don't have to if you don't feel like it..." She looked at the microphone... Oh how long it had been since she had used one... Maybe soon, she would pick it up again...
"I'm hesitant too... I don't really want to fight her, if I can avoid it... She seems so kind, and only she only wants the best for us... Why would I fight against her? I don't have a motive to do so... At all..." Of course, the very thought of fighting someone else wasn't a pleasant one for the girl... if she could resolve things peacefully, then she would do so without question... "I dunno if rebelling is the best way to go about things... But right now, I feel like taking down Thesis and whatever else threatens Azores should be a priority. At present, the event serves only as a distraction..." And that's not what they wanted, now was it?
Mae laid a hand on Rin's shoulder. "C'mere... Just let it all out... No need to hide anything from me, Rin..." Her voice was calm and reassuring. "..." She fell silent for a moment, waiting for Rin's reaction... If she was truly crying... Mae wouldn't stop her... Sometimes, you just needed to let it all out... | |
| | | Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Tue Oct 06, 2015 9:25 pm | |
| ... Was the tour even happening any more? They were supposed to leave months ago, in all honesty... Her tour had been delayed time and time again because of this event, trapping her on these islands like a prisoner... It had been so long, too. So long sense her mind was focused solely on her career and spiting her parents... Who'd have guessed she'd ever end up like this? She hadn't... Not like this...
"Um... It was supposed to be a bit of a 'world tour.' We'd go across Europe, Iceland, and then Australia... From there, we would wait to see where my popularity took me. It's not to exciting... I mean, not compared to the world tours some musicians get... But... I don't know if I'll even be going on that any more... It just depends on what we decide to do now... As a family... Calvin, Mallory, Dustin, and I..." she said with a gentle sigh, shaking her head gently. This was her life right now... It'd get better, of course. She was going to go on that tour sooner or later... It was just... Right now, everything seemed impossible...
"... Well, if you need a head start, I'll be in Iceland for at least two months as soon as this all stops..." she said as she waved her hands lazily at the ceiling. This event ruined a lot, really... It ruined so much... Could it bring good? Yes... But not with those it chose to participate... A doomed experience from the start...
"Maybe later..." she said quietly as she rubbed her hands together. She just... Didn't feel motivated for anything... She just felt sad... Sad and alone... Alone even with all the people that were with her right now... She just... Couldn't help but feel empty...
"... I don't want to talk about it... I really don't want to talk about anything else that happens... I won't participate in it any more... This event... It's all just a bad memory now... Let it rot away to die... It brought out the inner demons out in all of us... Gonea made a mistake... Humanity isn't ready... It never will be..." she said between gritted teeth and tightly shut eyes. She was tired of crying about this... This wasn't why she was sad... This event corrupted her... It was all her fault for even thinking humanity was ready for something so stupid... So life changingly stupid...
"... No, stop... I don't... Just stop, Mae. I don't need you to comfort me... That's not what I need... I don't want pity... I never did and I don't want to start having it. I'm weak... Pitifully weak... Don't insult what little strength I have left with your pity..." she said coldly, going to shake Mae's hand off of her... It was cold and harsh... But it was the truth. She would never get stronger with everyone doting on her... That wasn't what she needed... People knew that, and that's why she was alone these days... She needed time to herself... Time to be pitiful so she could get up one day and be strong... | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Thu Oct 08, 2015 12:14 pm | |
| "Well... Whatever path you may choose to go down, I wish you the best. And remember, if you need anything at all, or just someone to talk to, I'm just a phonecall away." She'd smile warmly at Rin. So, she really was leaving huh...? She wanted to beg and plead her to not go... but that would accomplish nothing... Mae knew that... Sometimes, you just had to let things play out. Maybe this world tour would do Rin some good?
"Iceland, eh? Sure, I suppose if I can catch a break from my studies, I'll swing by." Of course she would find the time. Mae would jump at any chance she had of seeing her friend by that point... Seeing as they probably wouldn't see eachother for a long time after... Not until her tour was over, at least... "So... W-Will you ever come back?" The girl asked in a somewhat worried tone.
"Alright... I'll shut up." She said, backing off a bit. She really shouldn't be pushing that subject any further... It just hurt her more than it helped... Ugh...
"Rin..." Mae looked at her friend with a sombre look. "I'm sorry... I'm not doing this because I pity out at all... I'm concerned... But if you don't want me to try helping you as a friend, then I'll stop." She felt quite helpless herself right now... "What kind of a friend am I...?" She whispered to herself, looking down on her own feet, away from Rin's view. Why couldn't she help? What was she doing wrong? It hurt seeing Rin like this... But perhaps... it was just better to leave her be... As much as it pained Mae to even consider leaving Rin alone in her state... but what other choice did she have? | |
| | | Lost
Posts : 2048 Join date : 2014-11-21 Age : 26 Location : Nowhere
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Fri Oct 09, 2015 3:12 pm | |
| She'd stay quiet, shivering as she held herself. Her eyes were shut tight, her hands tightly gripping to herself. She was tormented by these thoughts... She didn't want them... She never wanted to think this way ever again... It was a side of her she would hide... Hide for forever and never see again. It could rot in the pits of hell for all she cared... Azores had destroyed her... She didn't even know who she was any more... This event... All it was was hell...
"... I-I'm sorry, Mae... I... Forgive me..." she said after a while, seeming to calm down from her fit. She had been having these break downs so often... She just wanted to forget... Why couldn't anyone let her forget this horrible ever happened...? Why couldn't it just go away...? It was so persistent and so clingy... Like it was glued to her side!
"... I just want to forget, you know? But... How does someone just forget something like this...? I... I don't even know who I am any more... I just wish I never had came to Azores... I wish I never became a DJ... If I didn't... Then I'd be off in some opera house playing piano, or living with my mom and becoming a business woman... But... Now I'm here... And I regret it... There's so much bad that happened... Asha's wish... A wish like that was bound to fail... Just look at me... I failed everyone..." she said with a weak laugh, bitterness in her eyes. She spited herself... She just wanted to leave and forget this ever happened... Just too disappear... Just to vanish and be forgotten... To forget her pain and suffering...
"... I let down my parents, Calvin and Mallory, Asha Vatishta, my friends, you... I'm empty... I don't have a purpose any more... It's like, once Asha disappeared, all my will went with him... My passion, anger, will power, spirit... I'm just... Empty now... People like me, all we do is cause problems... We get in the way with our weakness and burden everyone... We know it too... I know it... I just... Forgetting this will mean I forget my weakness... And forgetting that you're actually powerless... That's a mask I'll hide behind for an eternity... I sound like a mad man, don't I? Heh... I'm like some kind of fairy tale character... A hero who devotes themselves to a cause only for their cause to drive them absolutely insane..." she said with a bitter laugh, rubbing her arms gently. She was tired again... That was the only time she wasn't plagued by all these horrendous feelings and thoughts... Sleeping was a wonderful escape... Didn't make you feel as awful as alcohol or drugs did, too... Oh, how she had fallen... It didn't even surprise her... It sure as hell didn't surprise her parents...
"... How's everything been going for you...? I... Haven't asked you how you've been holding up in... So long... Heh, some friend I am, huh?" she'd say as she turned her chair to look at Mae. She'd lean back heavily in the seat, seeming exhausted as usual. She was quite short... Though, this was a raised chair... | |
| | | Rumi Forum Moderator
Posts : 3307 Join date : 2014-06-04 Age : 30 Location : Sweden. Undisclosed Apartment
| Subject: Re: Numb (Mae) Sat Oct 10, 2015 2:18 pm | |
| "Don't worry about it, okay?" Mae said with a faint smile. "Take all the time you need." While it pained the redhead to say this, perhaps it was just better in the long run to let things have it's course...
"I don't think you're asking the right person for that, I'm afraid." She said, frowning a bit at Rin's words. "What about me then? Or any of your other friends here? Had you not come here, we would never have met... Has our times together really been that trivial to you...? I... Dunno what to say about that..." She really didn't... But if that was what Rin truly felt, then... that would explain a number of things that had happened...
"Rin... At least you've been fighting... Fighting for your ideals... Look at me. I've lacked the strength or resolve to fight for my own goals or ideals... I... can't even protect those that I hold dear... No matter where I look or who I turn to, Rin... I feel left behind... I'm just.... not needed anymore. I'm only a friend in their eyes now... Not a comrade who is willing to fight to the bitter end for the sake of everyone else... At least you were fighting..." Why things had turned out this way, she had no idea... The world was slowly leaving her behind, just like her biological parents had left her behind... And she was left alone to find them herself... Not event the reason why she was on this island to begin with was anywhere closer than it had been back in January... "I'm just a steppingstone, Rin... Think about that for a second..." | |
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