Yup [Nico-Work-Afternoon14]

Ayup... It was time to make money for some Pepsi. Nico gripped the stack of one dollar bills with malicious intent. It was never stated the Pepsi would be earned legally. Sprinkling the bills in a trail down an ominously dark alleyway, he hunched behind a dumpster until some dumbass came by and took the bait. Unepicly enough, several minutes had passed with no result, so he cracked open a cold one without the boys. (By cold one, it means Pepsi and not beer.) *Sound of Pepsi being consumed.* 'Damn, that shit's good,' Nico thought to himself. Pepsi is truly the greatest thing ever invented, if anyone disagreed, they had no right to live on this planet. He tossed the empty can in his backpack. If he threw it in the dumpster it was behind, then there'd be evidence he was here. Only a stupid non-Pepsi-drinker would do something like that. After what felt like four hours in what was actually five hours made to feel slightly less long due to the pleasure that was drinking and nice cold Pepsi, he heard it. The sound of a dumbass approaching. “H-Hewwo?” the dumbass spoke out into the darkness. Nico remained perfectly silent. “Is anyone there? Oh, what's dis? A dowwar bill? Oh, and there's another!” As the dumbass was picking up the bills, Nico grasped them firmly and said “Hey... Give me your money. I need Pepsi. If you don't I will end your pathetic existence thirty seconds from now.” The dumbass appeared flustered. “H-Hewwo? Mr. Obama? Is that you?” “Who the fuck is Mr. Obama?” “Have you come to give me a slurpee from 7-11 Mr. Obama?” “No, I have come for your money.” “B-But Mr. Obama, I don't have any money.” “Then you are useless to me!” Nico pulled a sledgehammer out from the inside of his pants leg. “I will end your life!” “W-Wait, Mr. Obama? Is that you for real?” The hammer stopping milimeters from Dumbass's head, Nico turned to see a man in a suit slowly walking down the alley. “Yes, Dumbass... It is it, Obama.” “Mr. Obama, there's a scary man with a hammer trying to take my money!” “And what did you do?” “I... I told him I have none, Mr. Obama.” Mr. Obama crouched down in front of Dumbass, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Dumbass... That is a sign of weakness. You should have killed him.” “W-What? Wait, Mr. Obama, what are you doing?” Darkness consumed the air. It was as if negative light had begun replacing the actual sunlight, creating a darkness darker than black. High pitched shrieking pierced Nico's eardrums, but once it subsided, neither Dumbass nor Mr. Obama were visible. A fat kid was standing at the end of the alleyway, staring at him. “You, there! Kid! What just happened!” The child said “What are you talking about? I didn't see anything. What are you doing back there?” “None of your business!” Nico ran past the kid out into the streets, seeing a 7-11. 'Damn, I can't not have Pepsi. This sucks.' He ended up applying for a job at 7-11, getting hired instantly due to the fact that one of their staff had suddenly disappeared mid-shift. He stole twenty-three Pepsi cans from the storage room on his way home.