Can't run from fate [Shun]

Subject: Can't run from fate [Shun] Tue Feb 16, 2016 8:06 pm

There were times when Sharaku wondered just what was he doing with his life. Then, there were times when he wondered just why was he doing some of the things he did. Like right now, for example.

For unexplainable reasons, he found himself at one of the local parks. Entertaining some young kids by doing flips on the swings and the like. Why? God knows, to be honest. It just happened, and he couldn't really say no. Okay, he could. But he wouldn't do it, and it didn't even pose a difficulty to him to do what he was doing to begin with. Yet, it was odd. He was alright with kids, but it wasn't everyday that he would go out of his way to do something like this. Maybe it was a result of boredom. Or maybe he felt like being exceptionally nice today. Regardless of the background motives, it happened. For a while, at least.

''Alright, run along now. Your parents will be worried if you stay out here for too long.''

Thankfully, he didn't get ignored. Which was probably a good thing. He needed a few moments away from loud stuff anyway. As much as being a clown for kids could be fun, he could use a break too. ''Hm, times change, don't they....'', he would mutter to himself, as he proceeded to stand on the swing, moving back and forth slightly, now that he was apparently left alone (he wasn't really paying that much attention as to whether he was or not). Well, as much as he could. Being as tall as he was, it was a challenge to not hit his head on the metal part the swings were attached to up there. That would certainly hurt quite a bit. Yet, he still opted to stand instead of sitting down. He'd say it was easier to think that way...

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

It was sure getting late. Since Shunnosuke returned to Azores that week, he was not used to go out often. That is, he did try. One incursion in the former hot spot of Penecia, the famous nightclub "Wave's Peak", one tour in the Museum, a few trips here and there across the islands... Most of the time, these small tours were just his way of spending free hours while not assisting his family in managing the Kurosawa group. However, he still felt...different. There was something different about the islands. Or perhaps, was there something different about himself? In any event, it would be visible for anyone who knew his former self that his return definitely made the young heir uneasy. And when this feeling struck him hard, he considered it was for the best to take a walk to the nearby park. The same high-class park to where he was taken as a child by his father, the same park where he met an acquaintance from two years ago, the same park where he vented and cried his sorrows to his heart. That park for sure has seen a lot of him.

And apparently he wasn't the only one. There was...someone else. Perhaps familiar, perhaps not, perhaps someone who had moved recently but...why was there someone else in the place he has become a regular at? Was he a vandal? Judging by his odd behavior to stand on a swing seat instead of actually sitting, he might very well be one. Not that he did mind, anyway, the stranger wasn't the owner of the environment, was he? And in the remote case he was truly an up-to-no-good vandal, he hardly would do something to Shunnosuke, considering the latter's fame in Penecia. So, the young one could very well take a (swing) seat for himself if he wanted to — which he did — ignoring all the previous and potentially dangerous possibilities of dividing the same space with this person.

— Excuse me. — He said, taking the nearby available seat and quickly holding onto the chains that made it hover in the air. Of course, he avoided looking straight to this man or whatever, he didn't want to give any chance for an interaction to start, nor did he want to associate with the likes of him. Someone who feels entitled enough to stand up on a place where regular people sit is definitely not worth his time.

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Tue Feb 16, 2016 9:19 pm

Sharaku was lost in thought for a good deal of time, and while he would sort of register the sound of someone walking over, he wouldn't really snap out of his pondering until the few words were spoken. Because that meant said someone was right next to him, which was not something he could ignore on purpose, unless he wanted to be an asshole for whatever reason. Which was certainly not on his agenda today. ''Mm...'', he would hum softly in response before turning his head to look at the newcomer. He had no real issue with someone being here besides him. It's not like he owned this place. It was a public park to begin with, and he was perfectly aware of that fact.

What did concern him, was the fact that the person looked familiar. Sharaku was not the one to forget people as long as they weren't utterly insignificant for some reason. And while Shun had changed a little and grown up, it wasn't enough to make the younger man unrecognisable. That, and Sharaku couldn't say he even knew many people with that type of appearance at all. If there even was anyone besides Shun himself. He was not a huge people person, so his closer acquaintances were limited to an extent. Hm. For a short while, he would simple observe the other, before choosing to speak up. He usually wasn't a fan of awkward silence when he already had some sort of company. And he was decently curious. ''Didn't expect to see you here after all this time...You don't look to be happy though...'' In a way, he was still sort of in contemplation mode. Nevetheless, he was addressing it towards the younger. Would he get a proper response? That remained to be seen.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Okay, so the "Hm" was a consent hm or a "whatever" hm? Either case, Shunnosuke sat down, minding his own business. There was oddly so much to think that his mind somehow felt like a blank state of mind, as if it purposely shunned every concerning topic and devoted itself to a drowsy state of "no thinking, no trouble". Would that make sense for a regular person? Maybe not even to Shun himself there was sense in this, but this is how it worked tonight. Until the stranger's voice come out clear and crystalline in the evening's silence.

— ... — He opened his mouth to say something but the shock, damn, the shock braked his impulses. The man looked...different. Eerie, if he would find a suitable adjective, something feral about him, maybe, but it was him. That tone, it was definitely him. And urgh, how he regretted to be there at that day, at that time. — I should have guessed.... — He should be used by now that destiny had a penchant for screwing him, but THIS? May the cosmos have some mercy, THIS was too much. He had barely returned to Azores, WHY did they put, of all people he could meet, THIS man in his path again? What the freaking hell was this supposed to mean? — I have a home here in case age is getting to your memory, and I don't think you know me well enough to evaluate my current emotional state just by looks, thank you very much. — He answered, mildly harsh and defensive. If that was a cynical, sarcastic response by the older, it was good to let Sharaku aware he was not up to this type of chit-chat. Not that day.

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Tue Feb 16, 2016 10:04 pm

Hmm? Guessed what? Sharaku was tempted to ask about it, but it was likely the response would not be a favorable one, would he choose to do so. That wasn't the way to go. He understood this wouldn't be an easy conversation to handle the moment he started it. Therefore, it would be a better choice to not dig into things that could be left as they are right now. Despite the curiosity about them. He would have to be at least sort of careful here, even though he knew caution was a little overrated. There was probably jack squat he could really do if Shun wanted to be negative towards him. There was always something the other could throw against him, no matter how would he approach the situation. And he knew that. So his best bet was to simply bear this calmly, and see what it leads to. He already started this, so might as well see it through to the end. Sadly for Shun's efforts, he wasn't a man that gave up easily when he made up his mind about something, and thus, crude and sarcastic remarks would not get him anything akin to a quit.

He would crouch down on the seat, so that he would not need to look at the younger from so high up. ''You indeed do. But you have not been around for the last two years, have you?'' He did not seek people out, but he would have at least noticed a trace of Shun in case the other had been here at all. They even lived not too far away from each other, so unless Shun learned how to turn invisible, he'd say he'd be able to deduce well enough. He would smile lightly. ''One does not need to know a person inside out to be able to pick up on someone's emotions. Yours show easily enough. I could be a stranger and be able to tell at least the basics.'', he'd respond. His tone was calm and relaxed, not showing any hostile reaction towards the fact that Shun was trying to repel him, pretty much.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

Hm, Sharaku did have a point. It wasn't hard to notice the young guy wasn't around because, well, he was noticeable, wasn't it? They used to live in the same neighborhood so likely they would stumble upon each other at one point or another. Still, what was he trying to accomplish pointing this out? — Indeed I haven't and now I wonder if that's a rhetoric question to which the answer is obvious or a silly attempt to be courteous and say you missed me for once because, if I do recall correctly, you were previously aware I'd move out for some time. — He said, keeping his austere expression forward to a remote point in the park, perhaps bushes or trees or whatever that's in his sight. The second option Shunnosuke quickly discarded, though, and in any event, when he heard he was easy to read, he just closed his eyes slowly, feeling a degree of anger building up inside. For he knew that, whether Sharaku aimed to provoke him or not, he nailed it. — I'll take it as a compliment to my honesty and transparency. Too bad I can not say the same the other way around. — He answered, slowly opening his eyes and staring at the same distant point forward. — Anyway, what do I owe the pleasure of this meeting..? — In other words, "what are you doing here at this late?"

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Wed Feb 17, 2016 8:53 am

Ah, the bites. Perhaps he could say he missed those. But that was a very bad idea, and he knew that. The moment he'd resort to throwing sarcasm and the like right back, he'd lose. For that would only make it all escalate and blow up, as it always had in the past. Nevertheless, it was rather tempting to jab back somehow. However, unlike Shun, he would be doing it in a joking way. Yet, he was aware that the younger would most likely not take it in that manner, so the option was out of question. No time to be foolish right now. ''I think it's neither, really. I was responding to what you said, that's all. I did not consider the secondary meaning you are searching for just yet, if I am to be honest. Feel free to take it as you will, I guess. But yes, I do remember you saying you were planning to move away.'' He really hadn't. He was just trying to respond to the whole memory comment without turning it into something bad. Then again, it seemed Shun knew how to assume a lot out of whatever he said, regardless of the real intention behind his words. Hm, talks were never easy.

He would look away briefly at the second answer. He didn't want to say this, really. But perhaps he had no choice. Shun wanted him to be honest with what he thought...? Well, he thought that the younger would not enjoy actually getting what he wished for. Still, he could do that and see where it got him. His aim was not to be a liar anyway. ''Transparency and..honesty are not the same, are they? You may be transparent, but I don't feel like you are honest. For sharp words and stingy remarks are not honesty. That's an attempt to hide what you truly feel. In my personal view, at least.'', he would mutter thoughtfully, before looking back at the younger. ''As for myself...? I know how to be honest. But you see, the majority of people does not take well to my honesty. I'm almost sure that what I said a moment ago is not what you would really like to hear from me. Thus, I'm often better off not saying what I really percieve.'' Well, that's that? Let's see how this goes through. He was still calm for now, so all good from his side.

''Mm? I don't know. I got caught up entertaining some kids in the park and stayed behind once they went off home. Then you came by and sat down. Chance? Fate? I don't think that's up to me to answer.'' That, and he honestly did not know. He didn't plan for this, and he was sure the younger had not either. He simply went with the flow since they were already occupying the same space.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

"I don't feel like you're honest", huh? Well, he was. Of course sharp and stingy words might not be the best way to come across, but it could be worse, and they weren't a synonym of non-honesty at all. Shunnosuke could indeed fake some degree of pleasure upon that meeting, which he didn't the slightest, so how could he not be honest? Frankly, it seemed as if Sharaku was nitpicking. One thing, however, he disliked more than the meeting itself: Sharaku's penchant to analyze and read him as if he knew everything about the young one.

— ...Not that I have asked your personal views about me, for they matter just as much as you, and while I do think that yes, you're better off keeping your lovely mouth shut...I'm just intrigued on what makes you think that you know enough about me to tell me "what I truly feel". What did I give away? — For once, he wanted to know. One could say it was one chance for Sharaku to turn a despicable and unfortunate event of their accidental meeting into something less similar to a cantankerous bickering. Ignoring all the conversation about "chance" and "fate" that seriously made the younger roll his eyes — he'd rather use the words "disgrace" and "misery" —, he was more interested in knowing for sure if he was all that transparent and easy to read. Ultimately, it's a flaw and an offense he'd have to work on from now on to not repeat the same mistake. Oddly...it was not the first time he heard something similar, and from an equally despicable person in his eyes...

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:05 am

Frankly, Sharaku disliked getting confrontational most of the time, and he would really love to avoid that right now. But it would seem that Shun wouldn't really listen to him otherwise. Of course, he was always risking that it would only make the younger play the 'hate' card more, but standing down would not bring him any clarity either. The only thing he could do at this point is try to walk the dangerous road, for the safe one would not have any effect anymore. In the end, it was a simple win or lose, right? He did not like the latter possibility, but...in truth, it would be a loss for the younger not him. Because fueling misery and hate was not the way to live. That's a way to make your life even more miserable through your own actions. It's a loop that's hard to get out of if you don't realize you are only tripping yourself up by what you do, not what others are doing to you. And he couldn't force Shun to stop. Not unless the younger wanted to do something about it himself.

''If I truly don't matter to you, then you would not bother saying a word to me. You could easily just stand up and walk away instead of humoring this conversation to begin with. And if that is the same as how much an opinion of your state matters, then it's not completely hopeless, is it? You say it is, but your real actions seem to hint otherwise, in one way or another.'', he would smile sadly. Someone who truly does not care at all would not be interested in responding. And even less in asking any questions back. Speaking of the given question....He really wondered why did he always have to answer the hard ones. This was something a person that operates differently most likely would not be able to grasp. Not how it really is. ''Mm, well. I'll have to refer to my original response here. In reality, I do not need to truly know you to figure out what you feel. Yes, having some knowledge to build upon does help, but in the right circumstance, it would be possible even when observing a complete stranger.'', he would pause a bit, scratching his cheek in thought. How to even word this. ''...it's hard to say. I don't truly know. You could say I rely on my intuition. It's everything you do, and also nothing. The way you speak, the tone of your voice, what you say. Or even how you appear, your expressions, and the vibe you give off. I cannot explain in comprehensible terms as to why and what. I just know. And I'll admit sometimes I hate it myself, for I can hardly explain when someone asks me where I'm coming from.'', he would say as he finally sat down on the swing, as it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable like this.

''You may say you'd prefer me to keep my mouth shut, but you still asked. And I shall answer, even though you claim you do not want to hear it. It's win or lose for me anyway. I can't force you to think differently about me unless you allow yourself to, and I won't try to do that. But I can still say what I think, if nothing else.'' It was worth a try in his book. ''I may not be able to list off exactly what you feel. I'm not the best at actually naming feelings properly. That's a flaw I'll admit. I probably worded my last statement a bit wrong. It is not that you are outwardly dis-honest. Because you are actually making yourself believe what you say, are you not? You drown in negativity to justify how sad or hurt you feel by something, because by believing everything and everyone around you is the source of your hurt, you can at least feel at peace about who to blame for your misery. But your own enemy here is yourself. Because you are tricking yourself into actually believing this is the right way to act and feel. I'm not the one doing anything to you. You are the one destroying your own life by not willing to fully admit what you feel deep down. Of course you are refuting what I claim. It's because you don't want to realize you're only doing your best to cover up for what is. Albeit I have to say I do not know what that really is. I cannot figure out the concrete reasons without being told.'' It was actually easier thanks to the fact that he had known Shun for a good while in the past indeed. He had already seen how Shun reacted to his life turning around, thus it was easier to make the analogy. But it wasn't only that anyway. He's seen something like that before. Plenty of people do similar things, and he himself had acted similarly before as well. Not to this extent, but he had. And it sucked allright. ''You're free to not listen to me if you want to believe that I am completely wrong anyway. I can try to help someone, but I cannot force them to accept help. The first step is always up to you in the end. There's nothing I can do in that regard.'' Now to wait for the reaction. It was surely bound to be grandiose, based on what he had just said. Or maybe he would just get the cold shoulder. Who knew.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

And, for the first time, Shunnosuke listened and looked back to Sharaku, not only with his senses but...wholeheartedly. There was something in this whole situation and in his words that made the tight grip on the chains loosen up.

He got it right, as figured. And Shunnosuke might not admit it outwardly, but he did admit to himself. At least to an extent. On one hand, one expected answer arose. There were a few things wrong, however, one of them being the statement in regards to Shunnosuke destroying his own life. Where did that come from? How could Sharaku deduce such thing based on one single unexpected meeting? His life was fairly well, thank you very much. He was able to end the vicious cycle in his family and assume his prestigious position in his company as well as join a renowned university, his mother followed on with her life, his father found his true happiness... His life was fairly well, wasn't it? But...it didn't quite feel true and ugh, thinking about it pains him and maybe that's part of the reason of his currently melancholic state, but Sharaku wouldn't know. At least not now when he didn't feel at ease to speak about it. Then, there's the crucial happenings from two years ago he still haven't gotten over and probably never would. The soon-to-happen meeting with a certain special someone that has been haunting him since the possibility of returning to Azores was a mere idea, then the prior meeting with Charles, as well...he'd rather keep things in line tonight and not have a second outburst in a public place.

— ...If even you can say that you hate yourself, I feel much better feeling the same. — He smirked, almost as a shy mutter, deviating his sight from the man's face to another place. Any place. Maybe the ground was more interesting to look at. He didn't feel comfortable knowing that he was subject of analysis by, of all people, this one in particular and everything about his behavior was noted. He felt like a lab rat and honestly this was far from a pleasing experience. — I'm not asking for help... You don't need to bother acting as a friend and, as you said, there's nothing you can do. — He answered, still a lost gaze to the ground. What lies in his mind as he gained a thoughtful posture remained to himself for the time being. — There's nothing anyone can do, but me... — That said, his legs would begun to move back and forward without removing his feet from the ground in a soft motion. Maybe the movement would shake the thoughts away?

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Wed Feb 17, 2016 12:37 pm

Wait, how did that even make sense? Why would him admitting that he- ah. In any case, that wasn't very relevant right now, was it? Or maybe yes. Eh. ''...it's not really that bad. If cursing me out helps you, go ahead. I don't mind.'' Well, it did not feel nice, no. But in this particular case, he could accept it. Perhaps it was his stand with Shun being rather specific in a way, contrary to most relations he had with other people. He could already expect insults and prepare for them ahead of time, so despite the fact that they could sting, he would be able to swallow it. There was little he would actually not be able to at least vaguely expect by this point. Hopefully.

He seemed to be getting a bit restless though. Too much thinking at short notice. At times he almost felt like sitting around was killing his brain cells. It was probably just a very subjective notion, however. He would shift around, eventually settling on standing on the swing again. Just...upside down. Yes, he was basically doing a handstand on it. Why? There was probably no logical reason for what he did, really. The logical part of it was that it would hurt if he fell down at any point. But perhaps viewing things upside down would help? No? Well maybe not. ''Yes, I know I do not need to bother. But that's it right? I still can. What if I simply just want to? If nothing else, I can at least try. It won't kill anyone. There are a lot of things we needn't do, and yet we choose to do them.'' Plus, why would he back down after all this? It's not like he was doing all that bad, since Shun wasn't yelling at him just yet, or telling him to go die for what he was saying. Some things take time.

''Perhaps. It is you that needs to choose to do something, but it doesn't mean you have to deal with everything alone. Say, what are you doing? Could you say you're happy with how your life is going now?'' This time he would opt to ask more than talk. He couldn't really say much more than he already had without seeking a response first.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

He didn't have to deal with everything alone, hm? Mayhaps. He did feel the best was to accept help and let his barriers down, but...here? Now? With him? One could say he was scared of trusting someone who in the past gave him little in return, but that's not it. Sure he was wary around Sharaku, even if his current behavior was less defensive and more pacific towards him, but the issue here is more that he didn't want to overexert himself, and others. He had been thinking about over and over again and...

...and what in heavens was Sharaku doing? As in, all of a sudden? His eyes widened, as far as it's possible for one of japanese heritage; he didn't know if he should be amazed by Sharaku's balancing skills or weirded by his high level of boredom to the point he decided to do a handstand on a swing seat. — Well, what I'm doing currently is thinking you look ridiculous right now and praying to Lady Gaga to make you fall so I can laugh to all hell. Nothing would make my life happier. — With a snicker sound, he placed one hand in front of his mouth, drawing himself something close to a shy mocking smile in the middle of the gloomy pale face. He sure didn't want Sharaku to suffer from such disgrace but boy, wouldn't that be just hilarious.

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Wed Feb 17, 2016 1:36 pm

Ah? Well, that one actually was a little unexpected. His original intention wasn't to be a source of amusement, but it seemed to actually be working well enough? Sometimes, life is just too odd. The least likely actions prove to accomplish more than any others. It wasn't the first time, but it would always be surprising. Mmm, now what. He could stay like this a while longer, but his arms would start to hurt eventually. His good balancing skills aside, he was not a macho guy, and could hold his own weight continuously like this only for a certain amount of time. Perhaps he should start working out on top of acrobatic skills. As much as he wasn't sure whether he had enough body mass to even make it work. He wasn't weak, but extra muscles don't materialize from thin air, and he did not fancy the idea of gaining weight too much. Which is what he would have to probably do to even progress anywhere.

He would chuckle softly. ''I quite like my ridiculousness. Glad to be of entertainment. It seems I'm at least doing that well, if nothing else. Do I make a good clown?'' If that's what it took, fine with him. He would shift slightly again, taking a moment to stand on only one hand. He was totally going to regret this later, even if he did not fall - which he probably wouldn't, since he could just flip over if he felt like he was about to fall. Well, unless Shun decided to do something to make him fall, for he wasn't a superman either. Ouch though. He did not want to think about that. Bruises hurt.

Posts : 1664 Join date : 2014-05-22

No doubt he was talented as a clown, who'd have thought? Or maybe Shun's in such low spirits that anything out of the ordinary would seem endearing or entertaining enough to extract a few laughable reactions here and there. — In the pejorative sense of the word, yes, you're A+. But I guess you qualify, though. You did say you're capable of entertaining children. Then again, who isn't? Kids laugh at anyone for any reason. As for me... — He kept looking at Sharaku for a while, again thoughtful. This time, however, he wasn't pondering over any existential crisis or some deep, philosophical epiphany in regards to the course of his recent actions. It was...something else. Something much more related to his nature to act mischievous. Something like...tickling the right spots just so his prior desire would materialize in a real hilarious scene he diabolically longed for. And so, should he meet no impedances at all, that's what he do: tickle carefully Sharaku's armpits to purposely make the other lose his balance. Let's see how well Mr. Know-It-All handle this.

Subject: Re: Can't run from fate [Shun] Wed Feb 17, 2016 3:14 pm

''They probably wouldn't laugh at someone being gloomy though. People only laugh at things that are at least decently funny, no matter what age they are.'', he would mumble contemplatively. It wasn't always that easy. Kids were finicky. Some were okay with him. Some would be afraid of his appearance. And some were actually not hard to entertain when he tried. It came down to their personality too. This and that, he was pretty much thinking about pointless matters in the end. Didn't he always? But at least it filled the space in his mind. He hadn't been paying much attention to Shun's current actions. Perhaps that was a lucky thing for the other. On the other hand, the younger was still taking a gamble here. There were people who weren't ticklish to begin with, in which case something like this could end in a very awkward stare off situation. In his case...?

...it was something in between. He would have to admit that he never had someone try to tickle him before at all. And in regards to that, it felt odd. Very odd. It didn't really make him want to laugh or anything. Nor could he just ignore the feeling, even though it was not that unpleasant. To be honest, Shun's best bet would probably have been to try rattling the swing he was on. That would almost surely make him reconsider his position. Still, coupled with the fact that he did not think the younger would approach him for real making this a bit of a surprise, and his arms already starting to complain about having to carry his weight without a break, Shun would partially get what he wanted. ''Mmph....'' He still had enough grace to not simply dump himself on the ground though. Bending his arms at his elbows, he would just flop backwards off the swing, down on his back. He wouldn't be able to flip on his feet like this. That would require him to keep his arms outstretched and have some momentum, which he didn't really have the time for right now. And his height made it hard in general. The swings weren't very high above the ground. Well, okay. It would have been easier had he chosen the opposite direction, but then he would risk going flat on his face, and that was a worse outcome than his back, really. Precaution all the way. He would be somewhat sore from this anyway, because the ground was hard, no matter how small of a distance he had to 'fall'.

He would just huff like a deflated balloon, staying down on the ground, closing his eyes. He didn't even feel like getting up right now. He wasn't particularly hurt or anything, but suddenly the ground felt more comfortable. Maybe he should sleep outside tonight. He did wonder though. Regardless of the real outcome, was Shun aware what he had been doing? Sure, it may not appear like it, but it was still possible to get badly hurt even by falling off a swing like that. Hit the wrong angle in surprise, and you could even break something, or dislocate a joint, etc. What would the younger have done, had he actually hurt him badly enough by accident?

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