The Evening Chill [Alec]

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

“Well, I guess my maturity is finally shinning through after all,” Alec would say his voice light-hearted before he was looking over at the other with a raised eyebrow. “Man talk about a bad judge. You don’t appear like that in any fashion.” Sure the guy could hit on some gloomy subjects and what not and yes he was taller than any person he’d ever run across. Even so, 30? That was a little off base even if someone was going from looks alone.

“Maybe I already have,” Alec would respond back as he gave the other a lopsided grin. Honestly, he didn’t know when he was talking too much until the other party snapped at him or something. He never understood why people just didn’t calmly tell him to shut up. Why did they have to wait until they were absolutely annoyed to blurt out the words? Seriously. Was it that hard to stop someone blabbering before it was too late? Or did people let you blab because they thought they were being nice? A mystery of the world for sure, but for the moment Alec would leave it alone. “Much worse than me? Wow. Bravo to whoever accomplished that goal,” The young man would say, his words light showing he meant no harm by them. Still it was kind of amusing think that anyone could out do him in a talking match because he liked to talk…and sometimes a lot. Still if this one wasn’t complaining yet then it must’ve meant he was improving on the rambling aspect. Either that or this one just had a way of keeping him in check by some unknown means.

Oddness aside, the subject would go from light hearted to serious in a blink of an eye as Alec spoke out his fears. “I can’t exactly argue with that, but that still doesn’t shut off the anxiety when I think about it. I know I ain’t perfect, even though I do try my hardest to be that. So I am prepared for falls, but the type of fall I am concerned about? I don’t know if I can pick myself up again if I do that. Still, you do have a point, I won’t get very far if I just stay still and worry about it, so I’ll try to take your advice and reign that one in,” Alec said giving the other a light smile. It may not have seemed much, but those words were able to help lift weight off of him….He honestly did not want to become a monster again to just survive…If he did…No. No. Leave it alone, Alec. Leave it alone.

Pushing the worry down into the depths of his mind, he would let out an light hum to the other’s words.

“While I love my sleep, I honestly can’t make up mind which is worse: No sleep or good sleep. I suppose they each have a perk and downside here and there…” Alec would trail off pondering that. While it was true he was a monster without rest, there was also another factor that played into this whole sleep thing. One that he did not mention out loud, but indeed impacted the way he viewed sleep and defined for him at least what a good night sleep was. Even with this factor there, the young man wouldn’t go too much further into that unless the conversation went there. For now, he left it as it was.

“I don’t know. I am pretty bad at simply ignoring things, so I highly doubt I can ignore the bad or the good. The paranoia is more like an instinct that helps me survive in stressful situations rather than the type that will suck you down or make you irrational. It may sound weird, but that is just how it is for me,” Yeah it was a weird quirk, but it had always been there for better or worse.

“Ah. I see. Well that kind of makes it better. Perhaps the guilt won’t be so bad now that I know you’ll up and leave at any time,” he said the words playful, but underneath he wondered if that meant he would leave those around him behind to. Not that it mattered at this point considering they were still strangers. Still, he couldn’t help wondering about it anyway.

As far as the current situation went, there was not much else to say on it. Yes, they had been fortunate enough to not have anything too bad come out of whatever happened at the church and they were even more fortunate with the whole barrier in play making a safe zone. Even with all this good luck in play, Alec had to wonder if and when it would crash. As much as he’d like to believe all this good could exist with no problems, he knew better than to get on that particular ride with high hopes. There was always a fall somewhere…

“Hm?” Violet eyes would drift over to the other as he responded to the subject of recklessness and heroism. Alec would nod lightly at that. “I can understand being occasionally reckless. That’s something I think we all do at some point in our life even if some are in denial about that. Would be no fun if we couldn’t do that here and there, but much like you I have my line as to where I apply it. Just for fun here and there? All good, but to do it to save the world? Well, I guess I value my own life a bit too much to play that sort of game as often. Maybe I am a bit selfish in that regard,” he would say and then giving a soft chuckle he would shake his head. “Oh good and here I was thinking I was the weird one for wanting to avoid the attention “heroes” get.” Heroes…yeah. Those did exist in some fashion or another; however, the few that fell into that category for Alec weren’t the ones that rushed out to seek glory or was proclaiming they’d save the world. No. The heroes he valued did good in a much more subtle and human way that. They weren’t superheroes. Just people…and that is what made his heroes different than the common perception of them…especially in odd situations as this.

As for the death subject, Alec would give a light nod at that one. “Mmm. It’s not death itself I am concerned about. It’s more like I don’t like the idea of running headlong into its arms when there is another way to approach the problem,” Alec would say. “Heh. Maybe your right. Perhaps I should retire from babysitting.” But could he really do that? Probably not. His heart loved too much to simply abandon those in need. Even when he knew in the end it was probably better just to let it all go to cease the pain that was left behind in the end…Maybe he should consider himself more often.

“Mmm. I mainly find rainbows for others, but here and there I can just see my own peeking out from behind the blackness here and there. The only difference is that mine seem to vanish quite quickly in comparison to others. Kind of like something I can almost grab, but it keeps eluding me. A bit frustrating to be honest, but at least there is a tad bit of hope for actually grabbing it one day. After all, that rainbow keeps teasing me, so that’s something no?” Alec would say as he met the other’s look with a calm gaze. Yes, he worked hard for others, but when it came to his own happiness he mostly kept it hidden or off to the side wondering if he would ever find that certain something that would allow him to grasp that happiness fully. A wandering thought for another time.

In any case, a moment of silence would fall between them in which Chrystill enjoyed a nice petting before relaxing again. The conversation between the two males was kind of odd and didn’t really go far when the other gave a rather final answer to the circle question. Heh, so it was a whim thing then? “Is that so…” was all he said to the comment. It was not a statement to be answered, a fact that could easily be grasped by the way he had said the words in the first place.

However, the situation would shift as Alec pulled a play he didn’t usually play on first meetings due to the fact that no one really interested him in playing such a game. However, this guy for better or worse had Alec’s interest like no other at the moment, so he tested the waters with his words and the reaction to said words?
Priceless.

Alec would let out a light chuckle as the other seemed to be a bit confused. “Oho? Did I make you uncomfortable with that one?” he would ask as he watched the other carefully. Maybe he had gotten a bit too comfortable and slipped up a bit with plays, but honestly could you blame him? The guy was pleasant to talk to and he was good looking to boot. Was it really wrong to poke at him for these qualities? Eh. Well…at least he didn’t seem to take it too badly, so maybe this was good?

Anyway, the good mood wouldn’t end there as Alec kept rolling along with the ball he was given.

“Nah. It’s cool. I get ya,” Alec would say kind of surprised the guy didn’t brush that one off. Honestly the comment wasn’t something to be commented to, but even so it was interesting to see how this one translated things.

“True. We didn’t have those buggers around. Nor did we have barriers and what being thrown up. Honestly, I don’t like where the stuff under the paint is leading. I dunno, but it definitely is a bad rub,” he would say as his drifted to the sky above with its strange shades of purple and also the strange stars within in it. Just what did all this mean anyway?

“It is an unfortunate state of affairs, but I suppose even if the rest of the world ignores me at the end of the day, I still hold onto that hope that maybe one day, I’ll find that one person that doesn’t forget me. A silly hope maybe, but it keeps me going since things hardly ever end pleasant on my end,” he would glance over at the other with a small smile in place. It was indeed a sad case, but people had the tendency to only grasp on when death was right in their face and even then that grasp was a temporary one for as soon as they were safe they would just leave. A bittersweet lifestyle, but one Alec had simply grown accustom to at this point. Ah well…

The small smile would turn into a grin as he shook his head at the other. “Wow. That is some serious tough lovin’ there if that is the case. Surely we can be friends without claws and fangs being dug into me right?” he would say easily bouncing off the words said. Honestly outside of cats, animals were alright in Alec’s eyes. While he wasn’t exactly questioning what was on a cat’s mind, he was seriously beginning to think the creatures just didn’t like him. Well at least the one with them was cool.

“Well, I don’t try and kill them if that is what you mean. Honestly, the games are just more like games of tag or hide and seek with the rules changing depending on who is playing with me,” At least those were the common games he played....he could play another sort, but that type of game he didn't wish to repeat....Anyway...

“What sort of hunting did you think I meant?”

The question was a quiet one that was asked out of concerned for the sadness that he heard there. Had this one been hunted before and that is why he sounded so sad? Or was the sadness from something else? Would this one even let him on such information?

As for what he heard next….

Alec would sit forward and clasping his hands before him as he contemplated what was said in silence for a moment before actually speaking.

“You know. That path does seem like the best plan at times, but honestly I would advise looking at a different plan of retirement…I mean surely there is something a bit better out there for you. right? You know the type where you hide out on a beach and relax? That sort of thing?” Alec would say with only a somewhat light tone. He knew where to play and where not to play…and this was frankly one those places he couldn’t play, so despite trying to cheer the other up, he was pretty serious when it came to the subject at hand. Quitting on life didn’t exactly have the most pleasant of endings with it. Either way, he was open if the guy wanted to elaborate more on that.

Alec would tilt his head at the other as he raised his eye brows slightly amused at the answer. “Yeah. You kind of do,” he would say before pausing and looking up at the other with a faint smile. “Can we say you’re fighting with the life ring thrown to ya then?” Alec would say wondering if the other would understand what he meant by that sort of comparison. It wasn’t a poke in the comical fashion, but rather one of understanding. One of the hardest things in life was to figure out exactly what you were doing both for yourself and with interacting with others.

Alec was quiet for a moment as he observed the way the other reacted to the whole solution thing. To his words, Alec’s gentle smile would remain. “Well, you won't know until you try it out, right?” he would respond back in quiet tones the other, trying to help the other not lose hope in the situation.

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:01 pm

He would give an amused smile. ''Perhaps so. Or I'm just lucky at guessing.'' Sort of. He had still been a year or so off, but regardless. He'd only question himself if he missed by at least 5 years and more. ''Maybe. I do feel old sometimes though.'' That was likely just from too much happening within the last few years. Well, maybe most of his life.

He would shake his head with a thin smirk. ''If you had, you'd know about it already. I can't stand people grating my ears. Alas, it depends on the subject of the talk. I do not mind listening as long as said person isn't ranting in a way that makes me want to just punch them in the face.'' He has had occasions that came very close to that. It was very easy when it was an unpleasant argument, or when the person was so busy talking about their own ideas and stuff to answer anything or listen properly in return. As long as the communication was on fair ground, he was completely fine with listening for a long time. That in itself has never been an issue. ''Well...there was one person that didn't know how to shut up even when you were uncomfortable. Alas, he can't make use of compliments as is.'', he would remark with a somewhat sad smile. ''But yes, I do think there are worse examples than you. I didn't even think about you possibly talking too much until it randomly came up.'' It was hardly that bad. Besides, so far most talking has been pretty much on point, given the subject.

Hrm. ''Falling is always a danger. But perhaps you'd have someone help you get up if you happen to trip? It sure is harder when you rely only on your own strength to get back up. Although, I guess you can't make people help you unless they want to themselves.'' Well, there was convincing, but there's no time for that when you're flat on the ground, whether a real one or a metaphorical bottom. He didn't know what exactly was the other refering to, but he could at least assume that it was something bad enough to warrant an issue. What in particular, he wouldn't try to guess, because his own views on severity could be a little out of the norm. He could be rather apathetic towards things that others would be horrifed about, while worrying about a seemingly useless matter. He would stare out at a random spot. ''I think a bad sleep is worse than no sleep, but I have my reasons for that, I guess.'' There were certain things that could easily make staying awake more attractive. Even of you were tired later. You can just sleep it off next night or so.

''Doesn't it interfere with peaceful life though?'' Despite a paranoia being somewhat useful to help you survive, it couldn't be good to feel that too often. It's hard to stay calm for a while when there's always something of this kind on your mind, whether it is a help to you or not. Besides, the guy just said it could worsen his sleep habits, so that was already not so good. He would blink, looking at the other questioningly. ''Why would you feel guilty in the first place?'' And how did him not staying around change it, for that matter? He wasn't sure he was drawing a correlation in this one right now. ''Besides, it's not like I'd leave forever. I don't even live on this island, so I obviously won't stay here for days on end.'' That would be ridiculous. He did not mind sleeping outside and all that, but why would he do that constantly? It's not like he was tied here.

A little bit of silence later, the subject oddly turned to superheroes and whatnot. He would close his eyes in thought. ''Well, I won't deny I would maybe do it for other reasons than fun too. It's not that I don't value my life, but sometimes it just feels like it doesn't really matter.'' Right now, he probably wouldn't gripe about it too much. If he died, he would. There was little really holding him here, and those constant clashes and whatnot with people definitely did not count as something to make him want to stay around tooth and nail. He would sigh lightly. ''I find the attention the so called heroes get rather fake for the most part. You don't need to act like a superman for people to respect and like you. That's how it goes in cartoons, but not necessarily in reality. You just risk looking like a complete goof. Besides, it's stressing to have people always rely on you as the one who saves the day.'' Something like that did not seem worthy to him at all. You can do great things without being always in the center of attention, so what's the point?

He would turn his gaze to the sky. ''Maybe so. But how does one know when there is another way, if it seems like there may not be? At times, you don't have the time to decide. It's either go for it and finish it, or hesitate and potentially ruin everything. Still, it's ironic. Human lives are pretty fragile, and yet we are being faced with dangers such as these. Makes it all pretty tough.'' Logically speaking, at least. Humans could die quite easily, and even special powers may not save them from that. Get shot by a gun from the back, or suddenly get run over by a car, and you may as well be done for. It's pretty easy to get killed, without even attempting to be reckless on purpose. ''Hmf. Perhaps. Or perhaps you need to pick people to babysit better. Help those that actually deserve it, not someone who is only mooching off of you. If only it was easier to tell people's reasons though.'' Wouldn't that solve a lot of sadness and grief? Alas, there was apparently no way so far. Things like lie detectors and whatnot were probably not very dependable anyway.

Ah? ''So maybe you just need to seek it harder? Rainbows maybe don't have legs to run on, but they can dissapear on you if you don't reach out in time. Maybe it wants you to actually focus on pursuing it for a while.'' Talking about rainbows felt a little strange, but might as well follow the analogy now that it was being used. Rainbows sure weren't sentinent, but that wasn't really his point anyhow. Seeing potential happiness is usually not enough. You have to actually chase it down if you want to keep it at your side. Somehow. Still, it's lucky if you can at least notice the chance is there. Makes it a little bit easier to proceed. Other than that, circles were sure an odd topic to linger on for as long as that. Not that it had been very long, but still slighty more than one would expect it to last in the first place. He would shrug lightly. ''I guess? I think I already forgot what were we even talking about.'' Circles, yes, but what was that supposed to mean again? He kind of just went forth with it, but now he wasn't sure about the real meaning behind it all.

''....''

He would give the other a mildly awkward stare. That wasn't it. Just. ''I...don't think so. I guess I just didn't really expect that....'' For many reasons, and it would take way too long to list them all. ''...and I'm not sure how accurate that was anyway...'' Take that as you will. He wasn't going to elaborate on that without being asked to. ''Hm...'' Regardless, after that he'd be silent until the matter of differences between past and now came up. ''It being bad is basically a given. Not sure who would even think otherwise.'' Isn't that right. Whether this or that was happening at the moment, it all meant that the situation was bad. Plus, you can't judge the true severity by what you see, so a small issue could actually be the worse one in the end. Contradictions just loved to happen often.

He would look at the guy thoughfully. ''...and then what? Once someone chooses to remember you, what would you do...?'', he'd ask, his tone half contemplative, half inquisitive. Why was he asking that was a mystery of sorts, but where it went would depend on the other man. Still, it was a valid question in its own way. Okay, so someone didn't forget you. Now what happens? It's actually vague to say you'd be happy if someone remembers you. Things ending there wouldn't change all that much, would they? He would cross his arms with an amused huff at the poke towards cats. ''Perhaps cats are just natural sadists. Mine loves pulling on my hair a lot. I swear I have considered cutting it simply because of that. It can hurt pretty badly.'' Although, he probably wouldn't regardless. He had gotten used to having long hair by now, and it would feel awkward to cut it short. Not when it was pretty much reaching his middle back at the moment. That would be a waste, wouldn't it? As much as long hair is a pain to deal with in many cases.

He would smile somewhat wryly. ''I figured you likely didn't mean that.'', he would go quiet for a moment, thinking before answering the follow up question. ''It's...not that. The idea of hunting in general brings bad memories and such, that is all. I never liked the idea much, but I guess it does sort of depend on the context.'' The implications behind that particular word could make him slightly uneasy, but it wasn't as if he'd get mad at someone for bringing it up. As long as they weren't actually aiming for the kill kind. He'd probably have more to say in that case. With the next subject, he would turn to observe the other more closely. Had they known each other better, he would probably have poked the guy physically, but he didn't want to risk trying right now. ''That's why I said 'used to'. I don't plan on doing it, even though I have tried three times years ago. Although it probably wouldn't be all that bad. Maybe then people would actually realize what they were doing...'', he would shake his head. ''Anyway. Beach wouldn't work for me. It just doesn't do anything. I'd be bored or feel like it's utterly pointless five minutes in. I can't lay around that easily unless I have something to keep me occupied on another front. Or unless I'm sleeping.'' He'd last longer if he had something to do there for a while, but beaches and the like often did not offer such opportunities. Swimming was one, but he didn't always want to get wet.

He would shift in his spot. ''Perhaps I am. I don't really know how to call this all anyway.'' Some things just lose value when you try to put a name to them that would describe them. Because a name is simply a bit too limiting at times. As for the rest...he would snort in palpable amusement. ''Now that one sounds familiar. You're not the first one to say that. The last time I heard that was pretty recently, and it ended quite badly not so long after. My attempts at trying seem to be stuck at around a 10% chance of success lately.'' He didn't seem to be overly upset over it for the moment though.

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

Alec would grin slightly at the other before shaking his head at that last comment.

“Man. You gotta take a break from life if its getting you that bummed out. Sure, the world may be a bit of a mess this time around, but I am sure even in this mess one can find a nice spot to simply chill out for a bit,” Alec said to the other, his tone remaining light and caring. He understood that with demons running all over the place and what not it was probably going to restrict where one could go without trouble, but even so there had to be some safe havens out there outside of this one spot right? Well. At least he could hope. The situation couldn’t be that bleak…

A light chuckle at the next words, “Well, I am glad to know you’re direct when it comes to that, but let’s try not to ruin my good looks with fists okay?” Alec would say as he stuck his tongue out lightly as he gave a playful wink to the other.

Honestly, he wasn’t too concerned about annoying the guy that much. Sure, he could talk, but he also knew when to shut up too.

As for the next set of words, Alec would give small nod at the other as he took note of the smile. He wasn’t sure if he should pry on who the person was or not. The smile suggested it might be a bittersweet subject for the guy, so out of respect for the other not exactly wanting to add onto the weight this one carried, Alec decided not to pry into that subject at the moment.

“Well. I guess I am not the motor mouth I thought I was. Not sure if I should proud or not about that one yet,” he said words light-hearted suggesting he really wasn’t thinking on that reputation at all. Yeah, he knew people could probably out do him in a talking match, but honestly he hadn’t met a talker like that face-to-face in a very long time. He would give only a light snort of amusement at the other set of words. Heh. It did come up at random didn’t it? Made one wonder just how they came to that conversation to begin with. Ah well. It was a nice little detour from the serious, so the young man wouldn’t complain. Speaking of serious subjects, the next one caused Alec to give the other a sad smile.

“Nope. I don’t have anyone to pull me back up if I did fall. Guess that is what makes it that much more bothersome. I would have no choice, but to rely on myself if that ever happened,” he would state honestly as his eyes watched the wind play around with a piece of paper. He was truly alone when one got to it. Sure, he was surrounded by people and sure some claimed to be his friend, but in reality that was all a lie. When the shit hit the fan like it had today, the reality of that loneiness was that much more obvious. The weight that much heavier…and yet he’d have to bare it and keep going. ‘Sides it wasn’t like someone was going to suddenly come in and save him from that Fate. No. He had lost that hope a long time ago...

“Is that so?” Alec began as he rubbed his chin a bit in thought for a moment. “Mmm.. I suppose I can agree there though. Sleep is not always pleasant…” he would say in an absent-minded tone as he pondered that lovely aspect of life. It was also probably another reason he was doomed to be alone. Who could understand that mess let alone handle the abuse of having him as a bed partner? Yeah… not going any further down that road. So about that paranoia...

“If it was peaceful, I wouldn’t have to be paranoid in the first place, so try as I might I am just gonna have to put up with my zen being all screwed up until things calm down again,” he said with a sigh already bracing himself for whatever rough sea was ahead. Sure, he could find his safe spots here and there, but the raging ocean would always drag him back until the storm ended. The question was would it end this time? And if so when and how? Did he really want those answers?

“Hm?” he would shrug. “I worry about people in general, so I feel bad enough that I can’t help them all, but if I know a face that guilt rises up even more. I always think there could’ve been something I could’ve done better, but didn’t. I am…my own worse critic when it comes to people. Sure, I understand that I can’t be everywhere or make everything right even so…that voice never shuts up….unless I do something drastic and quite frankly I don’t like to pull those sort of plays often,” he said as he closed his eyes a moment as a thin smile came to his face. “Yeah I get that, but that doesn’t shut up the critic all the same.”

With that said the young man would fall silent again until the subject of risk taking came to the table. He reopened his eyes and look at the other. “What’s making you lose hope like that?” he would ask as he watched the other with a questioning gaze. After a pause had passed, the young man would tilt his head at the other’s sigh when it came to the subject of “heroes”.

“In some aspects that is true and I am pretty sure that the pressure is high for those that would act that way, but sometimes you need a goof to look up to in a dark times. Sure, it may seem comical from a one view, but then again maybe a bit of comedy is what is needed in the gloom. For the people at least; however, as happy-go lucky as I can be, I don’t want that light on me either. While I can’t say if that attention is fake or not, I can admit that as of late there are many who like to proclaim the title of hero or villain easily enough. Kind of makes what was once kind of cool a bit overplayed,” Alec would say in relatively laid back tones as he stretched out his legs before him being careful not to kick Chrystill in the process.

“Alright. You got me with that one,” Alec said with a small snort of amusement as he resettled in his seat. “It’s either ironic are we are all cursed into being challenged the moment we become too idle for who-know-whose liking up there. Not a good way to settle high blood pressure or stress that is for sure.”

Alec would chuckle lightly at the other’s words, the sound was soft and somewhat sad rather than amused. “If only it was that easy to choose or not care,” he would say leaving the words at that unless further prodded. It was a catch 22 situation for him with no clear resolve to make it a win as far as the situation went. It was what it was as the saying went.

“Focus on pursuing the rainbow, huh?”

Well now that was a thought. While it was true the rainbows that he saw just around the corner always tended to fade just when he reached for it, the fact they were there kind of gave him hope for something better for himself. It’s just he never really sat down to take that path that would actually let him finally grab one…and even if he, did would he really reach true happiness then? He would ponder this for a bit more before speaking. “That might be one way to look at it, but I am not so sure about the correct path when it comes to that end. Then again, I do hope to get that rainbow one day. See what it is all about,” he would say with a soft smile at the happy thought. He was pretty curious as to what rested at the end, so it would be nice to finally end the teasing, but when that would occur he didn’t know.

That aside, Alec would let out a small huff of amusement as the subject came to the odd thing that was circles. “Well, don’t look at me for direction. I am not quite sure where that was going either,” he said. Yeah…that tended to happen when went one with the flow and didn’t prod for details. What had potential to have meaning quickly died when the parties involved missed the open doors into other topics. Welp. That happened. Moving along. Wait...what was with that look that look.

Alec meet the odd stare with a slight raise of his eyebrows and tilt of his head. Had he said something wrong? He was curious about the silence and the look; however, before he could question it the other spoke up answering his previous question. He would relax slightly at the first set of words. Ah well, that was understandable, but wait… “Hm? What do you mean?” Yes it was one thing to be put into an awkward situation by his randomness at times, but to follow it up with that? Now that was a curious thing. Just what sort of can of worms did he open with that one? Well whatever happened there, another silence would pass between them before chat picked up again.

“Mhmm,” was the soft hum that Sharaku got in response to his answer. Honestly there was nothing else to be said about that. The storm had just begun to roll in, so it could be assumed that just from the start that the back end of it would be the worse and hardest to endure. It wasn’t going to be pretty until the end....And even then, happily ever after was not guaranteed at the end of the road. That was life for ya.

At the next question, Alec actually blinked a few times as he gave the other a stare of mild surprise. He honestly hadn’t thought the other would dive into the subject, so for a moment he was at a loss as to what to say, but then looking away he would actually ponder that as he let the shock where off. When he was composed again he would speak.

“I…I don’t have a word for the relief and joy that would bring,” he would begin. “To not be forgotten and actually connect with another would be more than I could have hoped for. Now don’t get this twisted. I am not talking about that sort of short lived connection you get from seeing an acquaintance again. I am talking about the sort of connections where even when a peace has settled you can still walk along side the one you connected with. Continue to grow and make that connection something more powerful down the road,” he would close his eyes with a light smile and shook his head.

“Heh. Listen to me getting all sappy on ya like that, but honestly that is all I want. A true connection that can finally end this cursed existence of being alone…” he would fall silent for a moment before sighing lightly. “Probably a hopeless dream in the end though...”

Now why did he go and open to the guy like that was anyone’s guess, but the fact remained he had let himself be vulnerable for just a bit around the other. Now whether this would bite him in the ass was yet to be seen. In any case, he would shake off the feeling after a moment more and refocused as the subject turned to cats.

“I can imagine considering your hair is quite long; however, I wish it was just my hair they went after instead of like everywhere,” Alec would say as he used his hands to gesture at his whole body. Cats…he didn’t think he’d ever understand them or why they seemed to enjoy making others miserable with their claws and teeth of love.

Anyway…

Alec would nod lightly at the first set of words glad the guy didn’t react too negatively to his use of the word hunt. When he heard the explanation of why said word had brought up the question, he would close his eyes in thought. “Ah. Well I suppose when you are hunted that can happen. Though, I never had to worry about that, so I can’t imagine living as the prey…” his words were quiet with some form of understanding under it, but why his serious air was there would not be explained unless the other questioned the behavior. In any case, the behavior wouldn’t shift as the other looked over at him and seemed to observe him.

Looking over at the other from behind his red rimmed glasses he would listen to the others words and nod.

“Maybe, but then again maybe not. It depends on who you are trying to teach with that one,” he would say as his mind drifted to a rather darker piece of his life; however, he wouldn’t linger there too long as the seriousness broke with the slight smile he gave as the subject shifted to something a bit lighter in tone..

“Well, what if you had something or someone there with you? Could you do it then?”

What was that? An odd question with some hidden meaning behind it or one simply poking at what ifs? It was hard to say and Alec’s attitude suggested that he was leaving the interpretation up to the other. Where that led he would simply have to see and from there adapt.

“Well, try to hold on a bit longer. Maybe at the end of the rough ride you’ll that something that made it worthwhile,” Alec would say gently. The rivers and their paths weren’t always the smoothest of rides, but sometimes surviving the roughness led to a paradise one could call their own. Now what that actually meant would be left to the one who had traveled to said spot.

“Hmm...if trying is not working for ya, then lets try this. How about we walk down the path way together and just be ourselves? Then from there we can see if we can actually find that happiness for you. Or see if I am really grasping at straws here. What do you say to that path instead?” An odd proportion, but Alec was a firm believer of finding a solution to a problem from different paths. If one didn’t work try another, right?

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:39 am

Hm? He would tsk lightly at the words. He didn't seem to be extremely serious though. ''Well, aren't you taking my words at too much of a face value? I wouldn't necessarily say it's as bad as it sounds.'' Sometimes he really said things just to say them, rather than it being a completely serious complaint. Most people couldn't notice the difference though, or at least, he came to that conclusion after observing the usual reactions he got for some of his statements. ''Besides, I can't. I normally just get restless if I try to 'chill' for a longer period of time. Doesn't work easily.'' That kind of lifestyle was simply not for him. In the right circumstance, he could lay off for a while, but that didn't happen often. Even then, he had to have something to keep him there, like someone else to talk with or such.

He would just tilt his head slightly. ''I wouldn't punch someone for that. I prefer getting direct with words for the most part.'' Violence seemed too severe of a punishment just for being extremely talkative. Sure, maybe he would think of how amusing it would be to hit someone over the head, but those things stayed in imagination unless he was beyond pissed off. And honestly, if you somehow manage that, you might as well try to dissapear from the face of earth for a while. ''Plus, I don't think you'd want my fists near your face for any occasion.'' Getting cut by claws is no fun, and with his powers, he could easily knockout the majority of people by doing so. He sure wouldn't recommend them testing that when he was in a bad mood. As much as he disliked harming someone without a solid reason.

''I say it doesn't matter. As long as you respect the other person's wishes enough, I think it's fine to be as talkative as you want to be.'', he'd remark nonchalantly. Well, for the most part. If someone really hated a lot of talk, then it's of course better to step down and find yourself a different conversation partner. It's as easy as that. Instead of pushing boundaries, you can always turn to someone that can handle you. Assuming there is someone, but that is a variable subject. On that note, he often found that people actually got more peeved when you insisted on not saying anything. Being talkative was more accepted than being silent nowadays. For no one wanted a friend that wouldn't really engage in much.

With the change in subject, he would hum faintly. ''Say. How do you know who would be there for you and who wouldn't? I don't think it's easy to tell until you actually need such help and see how those you know react.'' Was it even possible to tell ahead of time? People are often complicated, and you may never know what they really think. One person may be attached to your hip all the time but leave you when it gets too tough. And another may be around sporadically but will stick by your side when you really need it. It's a tough call to judge those you know before you have some proof. Alas, everyone does it at times. Afterall, it's hard to believe in someone once they happen to let you down once, even if it's only a smaller issue at the time. He couldn't really argue with that, since he didn't trust very easily to begin with.

Sleep could honestly go any way. Also...''It is what it is. Too bad we have to sleep to survive, whether it's nice or not.'' How long could one stay up for anyway? Probably not more than a few days before it starts affecting things rather negatively. He would shrug half-heartedly. ''Well, if you say so. Personally, I honestly don't even know where's the difference between peace and worrying. I feel like it's always both in one, just differing ratios.'' There was no way he'd ever feel like he was completely peaceful, or completely stressed out. There was always at least a moment of the other within it here and there. So he didn't even try to figure out where one started and the other ended in most cases.

He would frown thoughtfully. ''Even if I said that I really wouldn't care whether you worry about me or not?'', he would ask, falling silent for a few moments before speaking up again. ''Besides, it strikes me as a double edged sword at times. Unless one wants to be worried about, they will likely get annoyed that someone is giving them unecessary attention. A lot of people don't like when someone assumes they need to be looked after. Honestly, you may just be worrying for naught most of the time.'' Taking an interest in people's wellbeing was fine, but to the point that you worry that you aren't helping enough and all that? Kind of seems a little too excessive when you think about it. As long as it isn't obvious that you're messing up somehow, there shouldn't be the need to cause yourself stress over it.

Eh? He would huff. ''I don't think of it that way. I guess that's just how I am. It's not really all that much about hope.'' He had an odd way of perceiving matters sometimes, and hope didn't have to be the decisive factor. He was just capable of doing it if it came down to that. It was as simple as that. ''Meh.'', he would snort faintly. ''It depends. If I don't want someone goofing around, I don't. It doesn't always help. Honestly, I've been annoyed to no end by at least two people acting hero and being beyond goofy before, and it did eveything except helping the situation. I say everything should be done in moderation. And most self proclaimed heroes do not know the meaning of that word, or so I have noticed. They think they're funny, but it just sounds like an overdone cartoon show.'' No offense, but there is a difference between positive comedy, and one that just makes you roll your eyes because it's more ugh than anything else. Despite the fact that they could use powers and all that, they weren't in a fantasy show. It's still the real world, and acting almost like it's not only makes you look like a fool. ''A real hero doesn't need to always draw attention to themselves and be a goofy tryhard. It's about what you really get done, not what you present yourself as.'' Flashy crap was for TV shows, not real life. Here it just gets in the way, and you're lucky if it's only that. You could get yourself killed by being too silly.

''I guess humans aren't very likeable.'' That, or it was very bad luck that they were getting targetted this much. Whatever reason, it was a pain. ''Hm....I don't know? I mean, I do care about people, but I don't have a problem like that. If I have a reason for it, I can just not give a damn about someone for the most part. I wouldn't just let them die, but I sure wouldn't assist them with things they could deal with themselves had they tried hard enough. I have my boundaries when it comes to being a babysitter. People need to grow out of diapers too one day.'' He sure wouldn't be everyone's work horse. How about no. Supporting each other a bit, fine, but too much relying was not a good thing. People need to be able to stand up for themselves as well.

Not sure, hm? ''That so? But you will need to make a choice one day, I think. There's no saying which path is correct without walking it.'' It was never too simple. He would chuckle faintly. ''Perhaps it's doing just that. Going in circles.'' Not a very good joke, but guess that would do for the moment. Since the point of that talk was sort of dead by now.

....and that went. He would look back at the other for a moment before just shaking his head. ''Nothing.'' Spending the time asking for clarifications like this wasn't really the way to go. Since he would just bounce off of that, and likely choose not to answer, as there was no pressure for it. Confusion didn't work on him very well when it came to matters like this. If you start something, you're better off following it through without faltering much, otherwise it ends nowehere. Whatever happened there, a period of silence would settle, until his odd question got answered along with some shock. Not that he knew what for. He found his question logical enough. At least in concern of feelings associated with it all. ''So then...you mean like a best friend? Or more in the sense of a romantic partner?'', he'd ask seemingly just curious about the subject. He didn't appear to be bothered by the sappiness and whatnot.

He would smirk thinly. ''Well, I'm sure you wouldn't let a cat rule over you though.'' They have claws and teeth, but surely even a cat knows when it's not a wise choice to pick a battle. Right? He would shrug as he closed his eyes momentarily as the hunting topic went further. ''I don't quite worry about it most of the time. Only when someone actually tries to go and kill me.'' It's fun, really. Thankfully for him, it only happened once so far.

''Either way, I'm sure it's a lesson they wouldn't forget easily. What they take from it is their choice though.'' It was all just speculation however. It's not like he actually planned on resorting to that anytime soon. He would blink. ''Maybe? I don't know. It depends on what would actually go on.'' Company wasn't always the same. Sometimes, it could be as boring as being alone. ''That's sort of irrelevant for me. I'll keep walking anyway, whether someting worth it happens or not.'' He didn't hold onto hopes as much as that, really. There are other ways.

He would furrow his brows. ''I walk wherever I want, whenever I want. I can't agree or disagree with this, because I don't know if that can work out. And I doubt you'd just try to follow me around.'' He wasn't going to just commit to some random path with someone, because he just wouldn't do that. He prefered to keep his options open, and consequently, he couldn't decide for someone else. ''Honestly, I just do whatever feels right at the moment. I don't plan out what to try next, and I probably never will.'' Issue was, he couldn't be made to try something out for sure, because organization was not his strongest point unless he felt convinced about it completely. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. It was up in the air.

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:06 pm

“Mmm. Maybe I did,” Alec would say with a light hum. “Either that or my mind automatically goes to ways to relax and slack off in situations like that,” he said with the smallest of smirks. He would admit it. He could be lazy…like super lazy. Yes, he got his work done and all that, but at the end of it all he just liked to kick back and do as little as possible. It was okay to talk with him, but if left to his own devices, he would either veg out in front of the TV or go find a beach to relax on rather than do anything else. He wasn’t about wasting energy if left alone. Now if he had an active partner in crime that was a different story. In that case, he would roll with them unless he seriously didn’t want to be bothered, but that was just how he was in the end. “Ah. I see. Well, my bad if I stepped on your toes with that one. It was just a suggestion,” he would say his tone light enough suggesting he wasn’t being defensive or anything like that as he remained quite relaxed in his spot for the time being.

Violet eye would drift over the other as the subject shifted to punching people in the faces. When he heard the words, his eyes would drift over the other’s arms and hands taking note of the claws there. “Won’t doubt you there,” he said with a slight chuckle. Yeah, he probably said some things that would get him in trouble and probably even slapped; however, in either of those cases he didn’t have a real danger to worry about unless said person backhanded with sharp rings on or had a ridiculous nail style. However, with this guy’s condition he would probably be shredded if he did tick him off to the point where he was struck. Good thing for Alec he wasn’t in the business of intentionally ticking off people on a daily basis. Besides this guy didn’t do anything to warrant such behavior.

To next set of words, Alec would simply give a light hum and a nod not really having anything to add to that. He agreed that in the end it was a matter of being respectful to the one you were speaking with meaning you’d have to leave yourself and mind open to different things. Sure, it left one more vulnerable, but that was the price in this case if you really wanted to be able to move around the situations thrown at you in chat. The sad thing was most people were too busy trying force their way of thinking on another than to sit back and actually truly listen to what was going on. Sure, Alec wasn’t perfect at the art of listening and sometimes he got the wrong cues here and there, but at least he wasn’t trying to force someone to change or do something they didn’t want to do by guilting them into the position. He simply let people be themselves…and this is turned caused others to think he was being lazy and uncaring when he went with the flow instead of becoming overly passionate about something. Honestly, it made him wonder why some even got into conversation if all they were going to do is throw around bombs. Another mystery of life he probably never solve.

Alec would give a light snort as he shook his head with a slight smile. “That’s the problem with life and people in general. You can spend your whole entire life with someone and then when things go all over the place they abandon you. So I can’t really tell anything. All I can do is hope that the face that is being shown isn’t a lie. If I could see through personas, I would probably have a lot easier life. Alas, I only have instinct to trust and that is hit or miss these days,” he said as he shifted in his spot to lean forward. Perhaps he had a heart that wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt at times and maybe that is what got him bitten here and there. In the past it had been worse for sure, but he had kind of gotten used to the pain of betrayal or abandonment over time. Kind of expected it to be honest. It was kind of like he wasn’t meant to be with anyone…and yet he held onto the slim hope that maybe one day, he would find that one that was truly genuine. Until that time though, he would carry his crosses.

“Yeah…” Sleep was a necessary thing for sure. He didn’t have to be reminded of that, so even if the option was terrible most of the time, it was better to try and get a little than run off of nothing. At least that way he could remain semi-sane. As for that peace vs. worry thing…”Maybe and then again maybe not. I suppose it depends on the one viewing the topics. I am not sure if one can really settle on one definition of the a pair or not,” Alec would respond back with a light shrug of his shoulder. Honestly, peace and worry could be the same in a way, but at the same time the meanings meant something different to each who viewed it. It was a strange point to be sure, but one Alec didn’t see as something that needed to be overly gone over…unless the other actually wanted to dig on that front.

Alec would wince lightly at that one. “Well, yes. Like I stated before I haven’t exactly figured a way to not care when it comes to people. Even if they don’t need my worry or what not, I still worry, but it is not like I am forcing that worry on a person like a mother hen. It’s just how I work internally and the only reason I exposed that to you was because somewhere along the line the conversation led to this point. If it had never been brought up you honestly wouldn’t have known that aspect of me,” he said as he looked up at the other with a casual glance. Yeah, he worried and he also beat himself about not being able to help others more, but that was just the thing. He kept it to himself unless conversations like this one caused that messed up part of him to come out. He wished he could worry less and shut up the critic, but as it stood now this was simply who he was. You either accepted it or not. End of story.

To the next words, Alec would simply nod as he looked away from the other. "If you say so,” he would say leaving the topic at that for now unless revisited. After all there was no need to explore matters that simply were what they were. Especially when the other party didn’t seem like they were interested in a change.

“Heh.” A small chuckle would come from Alec. “That is true. They don’t always get the messages that they need to take it down a notch, but honestly what are you going to do to stop that? I mean can you really do anything if it is in a person’s nature to just do that sort of thing?”

The question, while spoken in more or less amused tones, was an inquisitive poke at a subject that may or may not have an answer. Still, Sharaku was an interesting fellow to Alec, so the young man was interested in what he had to say on the subject. Whatever came out of that would happen if the other decided to answer. “Heh. Well, we are the same boat there. The show is nice and all, but in the end? It’s what is done that matters,” Alec would say with a nod. He wasn’t against acting out and what not. Nah that stuff was entertaining, but that was all it was unless one actually did something to push the act beyond just a show.

“Perhaps not.” Honestly, when it came to the luck that these islands had of late, Alec wasn’t sure if it was bad luck or something more at work here. Maybe at the end of the day something just wanted this place wiped off the earth, but why? Now that was the question, he couldn’t answer. Still it was a big headache regardless of no answer.

“Heh. Much like how relaxation doesn’t sit well with you after a long period of time, I can’t help, but to protect. The weaker the one I am defending is, the stronger the need to protect said person. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I let people run all over me. In fact far from it, but I just feel if they can’t defend themselves then I should do it. Give them a chance at this whole growing thing you speak of. Can’t do that if they are dead.” Yeah, he had a bleeding heart and to be honest he wasn’t trying to convince the guy of his way of thinking. Sharaku had his way of dealing with things and Alec had his. While they matched up in some areas, there were others where their methods differed. Not that this really would matter unless of course the other made it matter by making a big deal out of the differences.

“Mmm. True, true,” Alec would say as a light smirk crossed his face. “Guess, I’ll just keep wandering until I find the end I guess.” Yeah he would have to make a choice in the end, but as it stood now it was too confusing to simply choose where he wanted to go. Yes he wanted to grab the joy at the end of that rainbow, but at the same time had no clear path as to how to do exactly that. He supposed in time things would be clearer, but just not now.

“Around and around on the merry-go-round we go~” Alec would sing softly in response to circle topic as he bounced off the words he heard. They weren’t going to get anywhere else with that and it seemed he also wouldn’t be getting an answer to his question either. A bit disappointing, but he supposed if the other didn’t want to speak further on the subject, then he should leave it alone. So he did for the time being as a silence settled between them until a different sort of topic came up. One that at first made Alec a bit self-conscious as he wondered if the other even wanted to hear all that; however, when the other further prodded the subject, Alec would shift his weight on his arms as he lifted his left hand upward and rested his head in it.

“A best friend is cool and while they could fill in the family part of the equation, I am looking for a romantic partner. Kind of like finding the other half that makes me whole, you know? Family unfortunately can’t fill that space….” he said not seeming to be too ruffled by the pry. It was true, he was lonely on both fronts and while family/friends could indeed lift a great deal of the burden that came with loneliness. Only a partner could fully balance out the equation for him in the end. After all a partner is who you chose to spend the rest of life with, right? So that was kind of a big thing for him.

Leaving that conversation to go where it would, Alec’s quiet demeanor would shift briefly as cats came back into the conversation. As he heard the other words, he would grin as he shook his head. “A cat rule me? No way, man. No one, but me rules me,” he said his words seeming pretty confident and to be frank it wasn’t a bluff. Sure he had his weaknesses and cared too much for his own good; however, that did not mean his emotions ruled over him and anything that for one moment thought they could rule him would find itself in for a rude awakening. He wasn’t one to be ruled no matter how weak or fragile he seemed on the surface.

Anyway…

“Well that’s good to know then,” Alec would say knocking that odd bit of knowledge within in his mind. It was more an FYI than something terrible important with the man, but still it drew a line with how much he may be able to play with the man if things came down to that. After all, he didn’t exactly want to die from his games, so it was always nice to know where a limit was.

“I suppose so…” Alec would say in thoughtful tones as he considered the consequences of someone actually acting upon that. Even if it was just theory or what ifs, the subject still made him uncomfortable to contend with. He would sit up once more shaking his head to clear it before looking back over at the other with a faint smile.

“Ah I see. Well I won’t knock you for wanting to change up things here and there,” he would say. While he could probably out last the man as far as staying in one spot goes, he had to admit even the most beautiful of places would lose their wonder once all their secrets were discovered, so he wasn’t against moving here and there.

As for the last set of words, Alec would let out a chuckle as he shook his head at the other.

“Whoa. Whoa. Calm down. That is not what I meant at all and I wasn’t trying to force you on any path. Here let me rephrase it. Instead of trying let’s just go with the flow and see how things turn out, alright? What I am saying is I don’t want you change. If I am going to try and figure something out I much rather have the thing I am trying to figure out in its natural state rather than hop around holes of pretense,” he said to the other in calm tones. These interpretations of words man.

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:23 am

Oh well. ''Which means our minds go in completely opposite directions. For me ‘relax’ just means more time spent on useless thinking that just makes me go insane. I’d rather have something that keeps my attention.’’ God knows he spent more time in his head even then, so doing nothing could be a complete disaster if handled wrong. On the other hand, he did not particularly enjoy overcrowded activities, so the two views clashed most of the time. There weren’t many options for things that can effectively keep one engaged, but not going overboard with other aspects. Or maybe he just wasn’t thinking hard enough on that particular matter. While he did not enjoy slacking off much, he knew how to procrastinate on things at times. ‘’And I simply said it wouldn’t work.’’, he would shrug lightly. Not sure why there’d be a need to sound apologetic. It wasn’t like he went and insulted said suggestion and all.

Not having anything meaningful to respond towards the punching subject, he would stay quiet, his thought wandering to random other things. He could have tried to say something witty to keep the talk going, but he kind of didn’t feel like it. Besides, he didn’t want to spend too long imagining himself clawing people’s faces apart and anything similar to that. It’s funny as a passing thought, but not so much beyond that. And he didn’t mind being silent in any case. The other would just have to be careful to not let him go silent way too much, because then the conversation would likely get really sparse in general. If his interest wasn’t kept high enough, he wasn’t particularly chatty. He’d just sit, listen, and maybe watch the other person.

‘’So, you let most people try in hopes they aren’t lying? Somehow, I don’t imagine you hanging out with many.’’, he would tilt his head slightly, observing the other. ‘’Speaking of instinct though, what do you think of me then?’’ Most people couldn’t even get anywhere near to figuring him out, so it would be interesting to hear another opinion. Even if only for the hell of it. He’s been called just about anything by this point, therefore he doubted anything the guy would say could actually throw him off. That all aside, he seemed to be spacing off at this point, choosing to not contribute much more to the sleep and worry topics. ‘’Hm….’’ He was never the best at making follow ups in the first place. After a while, going in circles on one subject while not saying anything especially new about it…just got dull. That, and his mind could be jumpy at times when it got to juggling ideas.

He would raise an eyebrow lightly. ‘’So you say. The fact that the conversation has led to this as fast as it had kind of implies it’s not as invisible as you claim. Otherwise it wouldn’t have come up at all. Personally, I think it’s obvious enough if one pays attention, but that’s just me. You didn’t necessarily even have to tell me.’’ Honestly, it was just an offhand observation he made back when the guy offered him a place to stay and all. In his opinion, it wasn’t hard to guess based on that and the general behavior of the other.

And perhaps that kind of relentless caring would also be the guy’s downfall at times. It’s great to not want to inconvenience someone by being nosy and whatnot, but on the other hand, you don’t always get somewhere by being too benevolent in your ways. How odd. Usually it was a person either being too much of a meddler, or being too passive about most things. He didn’t think he has ever met someone who could handle both in a balanced way and not seem forced or weird. Regardless, he really had no words towards a bland ‘if you say so’, therefore he’d just shrug it off. He would frown slightly. ‘’Well, one option is to simply not hang around them. Still, nature or not, they should at least be aware of what their actions are evoking and try to consider the consequences. If I felt like it really mattered to me, I’d try to get that through their skull, although I have found that most of them literally do not get how their actions are being disruptive no matter what you tell them. At least, until it’s too late to do anything about the damage that has been done.’’ Which was kind of sad, but what can you do? Everyone has at least one annoying quirk, and whether they can manage it or not is kind of up to them in the end. ‘’For the most part. It doesn’t excuse horrible showing off though. I don’t really believe in the saying that ends justify the means.’’ In most cases, he could really do without lame ‘shows’, for they just made it harder. The end mattered the most, but how you do it makes up a lot of the impression too.

Hmm. ‘’Well, I’d say that the weak shouldn’t just be defended, but also be taught how to defend themselves. They shouldn’t rely on a stronger person all the time, just because there is always someone with a soft heart to be found that will stand for them. You learn by trying yourself, not by being shielded from the bad. As long as it doesn’t outright kill them, I guess.’’, he would shrug lightly. ‘’But I suppose your ways are your own. Personally, I would help them figure out how to do it, rather than playing a protector as they watch me save them. I find it more beneficial. That’s just me though.’’ He was just saying though, not trying to make this into an argument. While he was willing to be helpful, he disliked having to do the same over and over. You either learn how to take the reins yourself, or fall the next time. Can’t always have some good soul saving you while you wander around as you please. Perhaps it was just that he had a very limited patience for bullshit, and he would not want to protect someone who is weak because they are wasting away instead of actually working on getting stronger.

He would snort. ‘’Right. Well, you still have plenty years for that, if nothing else.’’ Although some kept wandering their entire life and did not find that kind of end before the literal end of their life. And that thought sounded way too loopy. Too many ends and lives. Anyway. He would blink. ‘’Hm?’’ The singing response surprised him a little. ‘’Is that an actual song?’’ Was it? He had no idea, but he felt like asking, so might as well. Since this topic was going nowhere otherwise. Honestly, maybe he would have answered something proper had he known what the other meant by the vague questioning….but he really had no idea what this was about anymore, and he did not want to try a ‘hit and miss’. Because squares and consequently circles didn’t really mean anything at base.

Ah. ‘’Do you believe in soulmates then?’’, he would ask, half serious, half joking. ‘’Anyway, I can’t really say much on the subject, I’m afraid. I may be older than you, but it’s not like I can say I’ve ever even had a more serious date. Utter failures don’t count, I suppose.’’ When it came to this particular aspect of relationships, all he could really do is make jokes on it, really. Or make it look like they all sucked thanks to the fact that he could only talk about issues for the most part.

He would raise an eyebrow humorously. ‘’Should I try and challenge that?’’ He was just joking with this, unless the guy interpreted it otherwise. He wasn’t very interested in ruling over anyone. He could boss around when he actually had to, but it wasn’t a first go to for him. On the other hand, he did like playing around in the right circumstance, and power plays didn’t actually bother him as long as they weren’t taken too far. A bit of a push and pull was a good way to get some entertainment going.

He would remain quiet for a while, not having a reason to speak up to statements that did not invite a response. Though he did wonder what the guy thought when he under that ‘suppose so’. Alas, it wasn’t important enough for him to pry. Honestly, he brought up what ifs a lot, and they didn’t even have to mean all that much. He simply liked to consider possibilities. A lot of the time, there wasn’t a meaning beyond wanting to see where a what if could lead in theory. Not in reality. He would hum in thought. ‘’Maybe…not so much change. I don’t want my life turned upside down every moment. Still, I’d rather explore than sit around.’’ Or have a mental conflict about what is a better option. Change or not change. The answer usually varied based on the situation at hand.

Staring at the other for a few moments, he would eventually just give a laugh. ‘’Have you not? My answer is still the same regardless. That’s the point. If we both go with the flow, what comes out of it? We may end up walking paths that are completely opposite of each other, unless you dedicate yourself to following me, which wouldn’t be ‘being yourself’ anymore. How well can you figure me out if we both do what we want? We could even become enemies or such as we go. That’s what I’m talking about. I’ll do what I want. However, that lowers your chances of being able to observe well enough.’’, he’d state, seemingly amused.

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

“Useless thinking, huh?” Alec would fall silent for a moment as he pondered that. Maybe there was a point to be had there, but then again maybe not. It was true when left alone or not distracted the mind did wandered to places it shouldn’t go. Ask questions you didn’t want to answer. Pull up things you rather stayed buried. He understood that too much idleness was in the long run probably unhealthy, especially when you had a lot on your mind; however, he wasn’t exactly one to be overly active either. Unless he was interested in something, he was fine simply chilling. With said distraction being TV or something else that involved minor movement. He was good at sitting still and could even mediate for a bit without much trouble; however, it would seem this one was a bit more active than himself. A nice compliment if they were perhaps closer to each other, but alas they weren’t and he wasn’t about to knock someone for differences….or translations which they both seemed to be bad at from time to time.

He would close his eyes with a small smile. “Yeah okay. I hear ya,” he would say softly not arguing the case. There was no need to really. Just like it was no need to try and fill in the silence about punching and slashing. Sure it would give them something to poke at, but the poke would only go so far before becoming boring…and boring was the last thing he needed. Besides the silence was kind of a nice break between the chat to give the voice a bit more time to rest and the mind some space to think a bit.

“Hmph,” a small smirk would cross his face as his eyes opened again. “Yes. I do give people the benefit of the doubt and to be honest the few I have tried to go a bit further with have always kicked me in the end, thus leaving me in my current position of simply being around people for now to not go insane, but to say I have true friends and the like? No. I honestly don’t. Haven’t for oh man….I lost count of the years, but its been a while,” he would say. A semi-lie, but one that he wasn’t ashamed of. Unless the other could see through everything, perhaps he wouldn’t catch the hidden meaning under that….and if he didn’t catch it all the better. While Alec liked the guy and the conversation had gone well so far, there were just some things that he wouldn’t allow out in the open at this phase of the game.

“Hm?” Alec would look over at the other as he took off his glass for a moment and observed him with narrow eyes. After a moment, he would nod as he placed the glasses back on. “Well let’s see. You seem well mannered which is a plus and a pretty neat guy; however, under that I see someone who is not all he seems to be. You’re a complex individual that has much going for him that perhaps the world will not truly get in the end. As a result of this, you seem to collide with things here and there making your path rougher than you’d probably like it to be. Even so you’re the sort that push forward anyway and try to find your own truth in the matter. At least that is what my observations and this conversation says of you. I could be way off base, but that is simply what I sense off ya,” he would say as he tilted his head at the other.

Heh had he lost him with that one or the topic that followed? The guy seemed to space out so maybe he didn’t care at all about the answer or maybe Alec was just that boring in the end. Offended? Not really. Kind of his lot these days. He would watch the other for a moment before blinking and looking down at Chrystill who still slept. His mind was drifting elsewhere in the silence, but soon the other would become active again causing the young man to glance over at him. To his words, he would simply shake his head.

“Well if that is so, you’re the first to ever pick up on the details. Most just take what they see and assume nothing is wrong with me. You’re the rarer of the folk in the world that is for sure…” Alec would trail off after that. It was funny a stranger could read him better than anyone else could. Everyone else gave him one look and assumed he was the happy-go-lucky guy he was and left it at that. He helped them with their issues and then when they didn’t need him anymore, they would go back to ignoring him until they suddenly remembered him again in a crisis. He never turned them away or said anything about it…and maybe that softness was his down fall in the end. Sure, he wasn’t a push over, but he couldn’t deny that he was often kinder to the world than it was to him. Yet he simply went with the flow and never challenged it. But one had to wonder did he do it because it was indeed just a kind heart or was it due to the fact that the beating kept people around him? A twisted form of reality perhaps, but that is simply how he knew how to live. A depressing thought that he would soon push away in the face of a different sort of topic.

“So you’d try to save them only when it mattered enough to you? Then are you saying the so called heroes of the past didn’t matter much to you? Did you try to stop them?” Alec would ask his tone quite calm despite his curiosity.

He wasn’t dismissing the guy’s feelings or anything like that with this one. No he was simply looking at the problem from an observer's standpoint for the moment trying to see this issue from another angle and in turn gain a different insight on the subject. Those who thought themselves heroes were always a mixed bag of extremist with only a few pure ones showing up here and there. A sad case, but for whatever reason people liked to chase that light and have it shine on them. He just wasn't one of those people or a believer in that life style.

“Oh. Then what words follow what you believe in?” Alec would ask as the other mentioned showing off. Yeah, he could agree with him to a degree that the show wasn’t the best in the long run despite its entertainment value, but even so it also depended on what was showing off and what appeared to be showing off, but was actually hard work in one's mind. Sometimes the line became grey in between the areas and didn’t show up until the end was reached and explained the actions. But…if this one didn’t believe in the ends justifying the means, then what philosophy did this one run off of?

Curiosity aside, Alec’s eyes would eventually drift to the ground. As his earlier gentleness melted somewhat.

“Yeah, but unfortunately you can’t teach those that don’t want to learn and prefer to hide behind you instead. Perhaps I should tell them to just leave me the hell alone, but I can’t. Annoying, frustrating, whatever you want to call them. I want them to live, so I fight even if in the end it may seem like a pointless or foolish thing to do. That is simply how I am,” Alec would say to the other. Overly attached to people much? No, but to life? Yes, he was one to highly attached to that, but maybe that is what happens when you sit by and watch lives being snuffed out for so long. A tough burden, but he’d carry it until he couldn’t any longer. Now was he trying to convince the other of his ways or argue with what had been said. No. He simply stated a fact. A fact that wasn’t going to change. Sharaku walked to his own drum and he walked to his own. Now whether this was a clashing point or not was yet to be seen. Either way like most things with Alec you either accepted this or not. He wasn’t trying to sway others of his ways and he wasn’t bowing just because someone did something differently. He was his own person even if on the surface he appeared weak or too compliant. He took a stand his own way and honestly didn’t give a damn how it looked as long as it got the job done. He wasn’t perfect, a hero, or any of that. He was simply him and there was no changing that. He did not conform. Ever.

To the snort, he would simply shrug. “Believe what you want,” he would say with a light shake of his head. He wasn’t offended or anything, but he didn’t see a point in trying to explain that one further. Why should he? You either found what you were looking for or didn’t in the end right? What else needed to be said? As for the singing, Alec would look up at the other slightly with a small smile before his eyes drifted downward again.

“Not a common one, but rather one from a story my mother use to tell me when I was younger. The line just kind of stuck in my head is all and I sang cause it kind of fit the whole circle thing." His tone was soft and somewhat quiet as he let his mind drift just for a few seconds into more peaceful days. Back when he didn’t have to deal with the stuff on his plate now. It was a nice memory, but something he didn’t elaborate on at the moment. To the soul mate question, he would give the other a light hmph before sitting back with a smile.

“I actually do. And you? Do you believe in them?” he would ask his tone light suggesting he wasn’t bother by the half joke. Sometimes people believed in the stuff and at other times they did not, but since this one brought it up why not ask the question? He seemed pretty cool with small pries so far anyway, so surely this one wouldn't break him right?

“It’s alright. At least through the bad you can find what you don’t want or need, cruel as it may sound.” Besides his track record wasn’t great either. Everyone he had given a chance to always trampled his heart, so yeah…he had nothing, but sorrow on one end, but on the other, he kept up the hope that he would find his other halfone day. Surely, there was someone out there that could handle him, right? He couldn’t be that unnatural….could he be?

Oho? What was this? Alec would narrow his eye as a michievous grin crossed his face.

“Do you really want to test your luck with that sort of game?” Alec would say as he bounced off of what he heard. He understood the words and actions as a joke and so played back. After all he didn’t mind a poke here or there and perhaps a little push on occasions didn’t bother him either as long as the other doing the pushing didn’t take it to a level where he would fight back. He was all up for games, gambles, and challenges; however, if one wanted to go there with this young man then you had best know how to play because one screw up could turn fun to something far from it. Regardless, the words didn’t seem to hurt anything as Alec watched the other with an amused gaze. It wasn’t often that one would start a game with him, so the change up was nice.

“Ah. Exploring. Now that is something I like to do. What do you prefer to explore? The world or places around ya?” he would ask quite curious at about the other's taste, but why was a mystery. Maybe he was just trying to continue some conversation or something. Who knew?

In any case, the conversation would take a slight detour as the guy actually laughed at what was being said. Not expecting that after the other had been so gloomy and serious a moment before, Alec would look him up and down for a moment with a confused expression, but then hearing what he said Alec’s confusion would turn into an amused grin.

“And here I thought going with the flow was leaving the door wide open for you,” he said teasing the other a bit, but then settling again he would tilt his head as he considered what the other said.

“Hmmm..true, but I wonder what you would say if I really could dedicate myself to studying you. I mean, yes I would be restricted in some fashions by committing to that path, but I highly doubt I would lose 'being me'. As I stated before I am not easily ruled and despite my bleeding heart I am not swayed to change who I am just because I am walking along the path with someone. Nope if you want me following you around, you're going to have to deal with me being me like it or not. I won’t sugar coat, you and I have some difference here and there and I don't expect everything to go all smooth; however, I am can commit myself to things if the other other party is in an agreement with the path. I can’t say what will come out of such a path and in fact, I try not to guess all the roads coming off the main path because I can’t in the end. Becoming an enemy or veering to different paths will always be threats whether or not we are together or not. Now you just told me you won’t be forced onto paths and quite frankly I gave you the option to go with the flow; however, if you truly think you can handle me then sure, I can follow you and see if being near ya would help me better find a solution than simply going off at random.”

The tone that were used were light and seemingly amused; however, the gaze he was giving the other was one of curiosity and study.

“I guess what I am asking is: How do you want to approach this Sharaku?”

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Mon Apr 04, 2016 7:23 pm

Well, maybe not always useless, but it’s not like it did him good to spend way to much time thinking instead of acting. Aside from occasional exceptions, but they tended to be far and in between. ‘’Quite.’’, he would shrug lightly. ‘’If I’m not occupied well enough, I can space out easily.’’ That, and when he felt like he didn’t need to really contribute much to what was being said. So, either when he was alone, or for the most part in groups, as he would let everyone else talk while he’d just sit there and listen. Of course, it could happen in a situation like this one too, but at least the chance was lower than in other circumstances.

He would look at the other, almost as if he were about to say something, but opt not to do so in the end. He didn’t feel sure that it would go through well, and it’s not like it was even important. It felt like the guy wasn’t one to be very fond of back and forths in general, and while it was tempting to poke, he wasn’t in the mood to push his luck for the moment.

He would frown a little, mostly to himself. ‘’Does it make you happy to simply be around people?’’, he’d question, focusing on one point for now, leaving the rest float. He did catch the slight inconsistency at the end, but currently felt no need to ask. Saying you have no real friends and then talking like you once had was a bit suspicious. Where did they go then? He could have inquired, but did it even mattered to him? It can be interesting to hear some things, but he wasn’t that badly interested in the history of people he just met. Not for no good reason.

‘’Hm.’’, he would raise an eyebrow slightly. ‘’Not necessarily the kind of observation I was looking for. Either way, you sound rather general. It’s not like anyone is just what they seem to be at a glance. Whether it’s a good thing or not, people are complex by nature.’’ There was more he could say to this topic, but they’d likely just end up talking about stereotypes that way, and he wasn’t aiming for that, really. Technically, it’s not like the guy had been wrong for the most part…but, that could probably apply to many people. Everyone had things others didn’t get to see right away, and their personal struggles here and there. Some maybe worse than others, yes, but no one out there really walks on a royal red carpet all their life.

A moment of silence past, the talk continued, surprisingly still of a similar nature. ‘’A lot of people are superficial when it comes to assumptions. It’s nothing new. As for me, I prefer to examine others, so maybe that’s why. If I’m already entertaining a company, I want to know who am I spending my time with.’’ As long as he cared at least a little. And wasn’t in a completely foul mood at that moment. Oddly enough, he tended to be on and off. He could both not really care, but also pick a person apart at the same time. Perhaps it was just a force of habit by this point, and he did it without thinking.

…honestly, the matter was quite complex. Sure, he cared about people. On the other hand, he had his priorities, and saving everyone’s sorry ass was not one of them. Not really. He’d extend a hand to those that were close enough to him, and perhaps someone that was in the area at the time when he felt like it, but in general he’s always had a more narrowed focus. He was hardly the only person in the world capable of being helpful, so why should he tear himself apart, trying to save every poor soul? Surely, there were plenty others that could step up and do the job, and frankly, people sometimes needed to move their asses more than they do. ‘’I have my priorities. I won’t go around saving someone’s sorry ass unless they truly deserve it, or I care enough to put my hand in fire for them. I’ll tell then when they’re doing something stupid, but if they choose to not acknowledge my words at all, why should I waste my time on them further? I don’t like breaking my neck for someone who can’t really appreciate it, and I have my own problems to deal with as well anyway.’’ Frankly, he was a fairly dangerous mix. Both having a good heart, but also being too much of an individualist to conform to others just for the sake of it. Most of the time, he was really just stuck on the edge between being nice, and telling people to man up themselves and grow some balls of their own.

‘’None. At least, nothing specific. You can’t apply one philosophy to all aspects of live, and I don’t even try to.’’ He decided based on what was in front of him at the given time. Sure, he had certain principles he’d rather not break, but he wouldn’t bind his actions to some saying or philosophical statement. Felt a bit too limiting for comfort. Sometimes, it could be applied well, and then another moment, it was just bullshit.

Hm. ‘’Well then, I suppose we can’t agree on this.’’, he would state simply with a faint frown. Honestly, he would love to continue this but he could see it ending ugly if they kept clashing, thus he would let it stay at agreeing to disagree. Even though he found the kind of approach the other spoke of foolish indeed. In his opinion, people that had no interest in improving at all just deserved a kick in the butt, not free protection. Letting them get away with being lazy asses only allows pathetic people to thrive. Does that help the society? Not at all. All you do is encourage them to just find a wall to hide behind instead of bettering themselves. They don’t need to be the greatest ever, but they shouldn’t be getting away with leeching on others. Regardless, it would seem the guy was much less proactive than him when it came to these matters. He liked safety, but not at the cost of letting slackers have their way. He’d be rough if need be.

Eh. He would just sigh, leaning back in his seat. He didn’t have it in him to try and explain what he had meant right now. Nor did he trust himself to do it in a way that wouldn’t make the matter worse instead of helping it. Statements of that kind could easily rub the wrong way, and while he did generally believe what he wanted to…because, who didn’t, really?....he did not like someone telling him to do so, like rubbing it in mattered any. In any case, he’d probably do good to temper his tendency to fight against what is being said anyway. It didn’t feel any better to turn away, but at least he’d avoid some stupid argument. Neither option truly appealed to him, but the latter was a better choice in regards to his sanity, if nothing else.

‘’I see….’’, he would mutter, somewhat sadly. Family wasn’t a topic he was the most eager to discuss in most cases. It reminded him of things that he’d sometimes rather forget, and while he wouldn’t turn the subject away, it wasn’t an easy one to go through. He’s learned that already after having to face the pressuring from Shun not so long ago. Plus, he didn’t enjoy pondering over the past more than it was necessary. It only makes you feel stuck when you think about all that could have gone better than it had.

Shifting in his seat slightly, he would look up at the sky thoughtfully at the question. ‘’I’m…not sure. Sometimes I kind of want to, but then again, it’s not only about who is destined for you. Relationships require some sort of work and effort to maintain their excitement. It isn’t like there’s this one person who will eventually fall into your arms and you’ll automatically be happy forever because they’re your soulmate. That definitely makes it much less magical than the concept sounds when you heard it.’’ There were likely many people one could end up with, were it to work out properly. Whether it’d be the right timing, right approach, or even a combination of several factors. In the end, it wasn’t like there was only one special soulmate for you, that you had to wait for like a damsel in distress waiting for her prince. ‘’Alas…I don’t think that’s my problem….’’ As it was, he knew quite well what he did not want…just…

He would tilt his head slightly, his expression seemingly quite calm in the face of the grin he was receiving. ‘’Do you really want to try playing a game with me?’’, he’d counter right back with a question of his own. If the guy was as perceptive as he appeared to show being, he might realize that he is possibly playing with fire here. The execution was laid-back, and unthreatening for the most part, but a smart person could notice that there was more to it than that.

‘’Anything that appears interesting to me. I don’t set specific boundaries.’’ What mattered most was how entertaining or intriguing the subject of exploration was to him. Its nature was the second factor involved, and generally mattered less than that. ‘’Although, if I had to pick…I prefer exploring people. Take that as you will.’’ Apparently, he was choosing an option that hadn’t been offered, but he was going to leave its supposed meaning up to the other’s imagination.

Well. ‘’It is, but it will also get you nowhere.’’ Most likely, at least. Regardless of that little fact, he would listen to the other give a prolonged speech, closing his eyes afterwards, remaining quiet and still for a while. Eventually however, he’d make up his mind, looking back towards the other. ‘’Then we would only clash. You don’t like being ruled, and nor do I. This will likely not work properly either way. I like my privacy and all, and so I don’t quite enjoy having someone tag after me all the time, unless I really like them a lot. On the other hand, going with the flow means a minimal end result. There are people I’ve known for a few years, who I only meet here and there as it comes, and neither of them truly know me enough to have any kind of ‘solution’.’’, he would flash the other a fanged smile. ‘’The issue here is, I do not want a personal therapist. That is not what I’m looking for at all. I may have my problems, but in the end, I don’t think I’m looking for someone who can ‘fix’ me. This is also where we differ. You’re a tryhard when it comes to helping people or protecting them when they appear like they need it, but I do not seek someone who dedicates themselves to helping me out. When someone fusses over me like a babysitter, it only annoys me to no end. They never do it in a way that truly helps. Likely, they are the ones that actually need more help than me in the end.’’, he’d click his tongue lightly before continuing.

‘’I think the real question here is, how well could you handle me?’’, he’d ask with a narrowed look, golden eyes flashing a bit. He was no puppy, and he certainly didn’t want help in that manner. Being tailed by someone that is soft enough to protect even the fools didn’t feel right. Honestly, he’d probably destroy the guy. On the outside, the two of them may share similarities…but on the inside, he was much harder to pacify than one would guess. There was a certain sense of intensity around him, and the other could probably feel that now. All in all, he did not dislike the other, really, but the guy gave off the vibe off being too lenient to properly handle him in the long run.

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

“Hmm.” Alec would give a light hum to the subject not having much to add onto the short words given. He supposed he and the other had different ways of viewing idle time. While Alec could indeed sit it out for a long period of time, this one seemed to be more active in his thoughts and ways. An opposite, but how bad that really was he couldn’t say from a first meeting. Still it was an interesting thing to take note of.

In any case, Alec’s eyes would narrow slightly at the other as he seemed to say something, but for whatever reason didn’t. It wasn’t the action, so much as the pause that got the narrowing of the eyes. Alec may have seemed like the just roll with it type and the one to avoid stepping on toes, but in all honestly that was a surface appearance and not exactly truthful. If you wanted to play. Play. If you had something to say. Say it. What was the world afraid of huh? Just do it. Though…perhaps he would let this one slide. The guy didn’t seem to be highly energetic at the moment, so he wouldn’t pressure him this time as his observation ended and his eyes drifted elsewhere.

He wouldn’t say anything more until asked a question to which he would simply sigh before answering.

“It’s bittersweet. On one hand yes, it does make me happy because things can keep me occupied and people are the most entertaining creatures here. It keeps away the boredom and loneiness, but in the end? Happy? Did you actually miss the part where I said, I hadn’t grasp the rainbow that thrills everyone so?” Alec would say as he gave the other a sad smile. He wasn’t asking for arguments with that one or anything, but it was the truth. At the end of the day, people were just that. People. Things that filtered in and out of his life just as quickly as the things in his shop left. The only time he had gotten a small taste of that rainbow was years ago, but since then? Heh…Best not go there at the moment.

Anyway…

Alec would smirk at the words the other spoke when he did his observation of him as he shook his head.

“General? What the hell did you want then? Like you said we’ve just met, so what did you expect outside of general?” he would ask the other not exactly mad with the man or anything like that, but more curious and perplexed at this one’s way of thinking. His words suggested he was taking everything at face value on one hand and then on the other not. It was indeed a confusing situation that one; however, it didn’t seem to bother Alec too much as he remained relatively relaxed in his spot observing the other for a bit.

When the silence hit, he would let it pass with no complaint before tilting his head at the others words.

“An observer of humans, huh? Interesting position to take,” he would say before hearing his last words. “Oho? And what happens when your company isn’t what your observation suggest they are?” he would ask the question curious what this man had to say on the topic as his reasoning behind this question remained hidden. Maybe there was no reasoning at all behind this. Perhaps it was simply just that – Curiosity. Who knew?

“I see,” Alec would say with a nod, but for the moment would not go any further with the subject. Yes, he could see some of the man’s point, but in the end, he didn’t think that he would ever see eye-to-eye with the other on the matter of people and why they should be saved regardless of how powerful they were or not. Sure, the strong did survive in the world and seemed to do better, but who were truly stronger? The ones that fought their way to the top and continuued to be able to stand tall? Or the cowardly ones under them that did all they could just to survive? It was hard to tell and it was that point that kept Alec defending the weak. Yes, the weak were pathetic, but without them could the strong truly survive? He thought not. The weak made the ground stable again…no matter what others said about them. In any case, the point would not be won in any case so Alec opted not to let that one get into a heated debate. Like the man said, he had problems of his own and well quite frankly so did Alec. The difference was, he didn’t put them out in the open so easily.

As for the philosophy thing, Alec would simply give a light nod accepting the answer without really having much to give on that one. He supposed if that is the way the other wanted to live then so be it. It wasn’t his job to change it.

“Mmm. You catch on quick. Very good,” Alec would respond back to the comment about not agreeing. He wasn’t being sarcastic about this point at all. No, he actually appreciated it when someone recognized and acknowledged that a pain point was pointless to beat in the face. The only thing further digging and bashing did was frustrate both parties and created a blow out. And blow outs…never made for fun endings, so it was nice to see this one knew when to hold his tongue on a matter. Sure, it could be revisited if one truly had to have that blow out, but meh. It was over now, so the young man would brush the topic aside.

As for his small pries here and there it seemed that not all would be humored. No biggy. If the other was bothered by something or didn’t wish to explain then he didn’t have to. Alec wasn’t going to pry and poke only to get answers. Nah. He wasn’t looking to stoke agitation or fires so he let the other be when he refused to answer. Just like he would let the simple comment to family slid also.

It seemed like that was a topic that the other did not wish to delve into either. Whether the topic made the other uncomfortable or not was something Alec didn’t really question. Family was a sore subject for him anyway, so he didn’t mind not talking about it when he didn’t have to, so like with most topics this one would be pushed to the side too unless revisited.

“Mmm. Just because I said I believed in them doesn’t mean, I don’t recognize the price to gain it and keep it. I am not as oblivious to things as I sound,” Alec would say giving the other a tired smile that betrayed the bubbleliness he had shown thus far. Even so, the smile would fade as he blinked at the other’s other words. “Then…what is the problem?” he would ask his words careful despite their curiosity.

However, cautiousness would be turned aside as the conversation took a rather odd turn. It started with the questioning of games. As he saw the calm expression and watched those gold eyes carefully, he would not flinch in the face of danger. In fact, a cold steeliness came to his eyes as his grin remained in place. “What would you do to me if I did take the risk?” he asked the other his tone, calm and seemingly light, but behind that was a wall of ice and defiance. He didn’t back down from challenges and he most certainly didn’t bow to fear. If the other was trying to make him submit in some fashion he wasn’t going to do it and he wasn’t going to run away. He was no fool and knew very well what he was dealing with was a dangerous subject; however, he would remain strong nonetheless. Now where that got him in the end? One would just have to see.

In any case, the tension lightened only slightly when the subject veered back slightly to exploring. “Hmph,” he would smirk at the words as he looked away closing his eyes as he thought for a moment. Exploring people…yeah the mind could run in many directions with that one; however, he wouldn’t let any of his wandering thoughts show as his eyes reopened and he continued on. “Alright if that what works for you,” he would say relaxing for a bit…until the other flared up at him.

As the intensity went up to a level that probably would’ve sent most cowering, Alec simply watch the other with wide eyes and stillness for a moment as he listened. Even when the other had stopped talking, he would remain silent and frozen until unexpectedly his body would slouch in his seat and the friendly air he had before completely shut down as something more complex, confusing, and dangerous washed off of him as his counterpart remained sleeping on the ground.

“Your whole issue is that you’re one big contradiction. You seem like the type that looks at all the angles, but as soon as someone offers you a path or a new way to look at things, you shoot it down by explaining how it won’t work or how it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. On top of that you make a shit ton of assumption based on words. How long have we been sitting here? An hour or so? And already you peg me as some sappy little puppy that is trying all so hard to appease you and the world,” he would pause as he clasped his hands together and gave an impression of an innocent looking child with the only desire being to please the world as he batted his eyelashes up at the other; however, the act would last for a second before he was back to pure seriousness as he gave the other an icy glare. “You don’t know shit about me and quite frankly I don’t see a point in explain myself or what I do to you either. I told you before I was what was, didn’t I? It wasn’t a lie. As for your question? I deal with stuff as it comes and it either work or it doesn’t it is as simple as that. Also I wasn’t offering you therapy or babysitting with my words and I sure as hell am not trying to "fix" anyone, Sharaku. I have my own shit to deal with too you know and I am not looking to you or anyone else to come rescue me from my hell. Nah,” Alec's icy eyes would drift back up to the other as he tilted his head lightly before continuing.

“I don’t think it is a matter of me trying to handle you, but you trying to actually handle someone else. Can you really do that?” Alec would finish his words calm and non-hostile, but holding an iciness that met that the intensity given off by the other unafraid. Sure, he seemed like a weakling at a glance, but those who rolled with that assumption always opened a door of pain when he turned out to be nothing like what the pamphlet advertised him to be.

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Tue Apr 05, 2016 8:46 am

Well, he wasn’t going to introduce a random topic all of a sudden, so silence it’d be. He had his moments of being outspoken, but initiating conversations was not really amongst his major strengths. He was always more likely to choose being quiet instead of coming up with something to say. That is, unless he had a good reason to bring a matter up, in which case he’d find a way to do so.

‘’I didn’t….’’, he’d trail off, as if he was losing the motivation to continue on the subject. Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be easy to figure out just by a look. In any case, no, he hadn’t missed that. But did that mean he shouldn’t ask a follow up question just because something has already been said? It may appear slightly illogical to some, but he usually had his reasons for asking things, even if they were ones that he couldn’t properly explain. On the other hand, maybe it was better to just stop and leave it be before he dug himself somewhere he did not want to be.

He would just look down with a slight sigh. ‘’Never mind me then.’’, he’d shoo the subject off. It probably wasn’t hard to guess that he wasn’t quite satisfied with how it went, but nor was he eager to try and argue the case. Sure, maybe he had his own expectations. He wouldn’t deny that. However, when it was rather clear that the other side was on a completely different page, or even resistant to the matter at hand, he just wouldn’t press in further. It’s better to be disappointed a little, not twice as much when you push and find out the full extent of it. Or with his luck, get into an argument of sorts over it, which was admittedly the least favorable option out there. Whatever it was that he actually wanted, he wouldn’t just ask for it after getting chided for apparently expecting too much.

‘’…but also sad.’’, he’d remark, mostly to himself. Whether the guy wanted to comment on it or not was up to him. Observing people could indeed be interesting, but it came with quite a lot of trash one doesn’t ask for as well. ‘’Depends on how it goes. But life goes on either way. We all make mistakes, regardless of how sure we may be of our abilities. I can’t say what exactly happens, because that depends on just how drastic the supposed difference ends up being, and on their stand towards the situation as well.’’ It could end just fine, or it could end in some sort of clash. A solid pattern was hard to come by, as occasions were often highly situational, even if there may be certain results that show up quite periodically.

More moments of stagnating conversation would pass, and he would only react by frowning slightly at the ‘catch on’ comment. It wasn’t that. True, he was aware of the possible consequences of pressing the matter further, but he wasn’t necessarily doing it mainly to make things better between them or anything. He was technically avoiding something else here, but that was not what the guy needed to know just yet.

‘’Still…the soulmate trend runs on the idea that there is only one special person for you out there. Would you believe that you need to find that exact one with how many people there actually are in the world..?’’ That’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. You can possibly click well with several people when things go right…so, which one of them would be your ‘soulmate’ then? The one you decide is? It’s hard to actually define the term when you look at it more closely. Although, the initial application sounds very pleasant. Having dreams is always nice. He would look away briefly. ‘’Me?’’, he’d state in an ambiguous tone. What exactly was he implying with that was a bit of a mystery, but surely he didn’t say that for no reason.

He’d watch the guy for a while, as if taking his time to decide, before just hmphing slightly. Oddly enough, it would appear that he was having a sudden bout of disinterest in the banter. Maybe he had a reason for drawing back, maybe not. Either way, he wouldn’t tell. ‘’Undecided.’' How strange indeed. From an observer’s angle, it would seem like he was alternating between hot and cold quite frequently. Quite smoothly no less, which only made it that much more weird to watch. Oh, he could be dangerous, but when he wasn’t interested….he simply wasn’t.

Moving past comments that didn’t need a response…

He would give the other a sort of…blank stare. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect this…but..sometimes he wished people wouldn’t go and butt heads with him in this manner as the first reaction. Frankly, he didn’t need to be reminded of what he already knew. He could see the problems easily enough on his own, but knowing how much something was wrong and sucked did not change anything like some magic trick. ‘’I’m…not sure why you go and make the point how I don’t know shit and immediately follow by how you don’t plan on explaining yourself. I guess I’m supposed to know better by looking at you then….’’, he’d say a bit tensely. Intense indeed, but it wasn’t anger he was directing towards the other, or even anything of the kind. Right now, he just seemed to be distressed in some way or form.

‘’If all you’re going to really do is point out how much I suck then you can save it…You’re not telling me something I don’t know yet. You’re not really making yourself seem that much better by saying this anyway. Telling me how I’m wrong with what I said about you, whether or not you even took my words as what they truly meant, but technically doing the same by ‘summarizing’ what I’m doing as if you had an idea as to why I do and say what I do, or what it means.’’ These kinds of clashes just succeeded in making him feel sick. You manage to say something a bit over the line, and you basically get the same in return. Isn’t it always the same way?

He would give the guy a dull glance. ‘’Do you want the truth? Fine. This isn’t about me handling someone else, or you handling me. I can deal with that. But I can't handle myself.'', he'd state in an oddly empty tone. ''Take that as you wish. It doesn't matter anyway. Just forget what I said. I don't even really care about half of what I actually said back then....'' The question here was...how much had he even meant what he had said...? Something wasn't quite right here, but what was it?

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

The silences were longer as certain subjects began to shut down. Alec wasn’t sure if he was saying the wrong things or if they were simply running out of things to say. The man next to him seemed either be getting lost in thoughts or shutting down. Alec admitted he could be a bit straightforward and he would also admit he probably did unintentionally step on toes; however, if the other party didn’t let him know in some way that he was doing something wrong, the young man was often left a bit stunned when the said party unexpectedly blew up.

Now for this guy with him, Alec picked on various signs that perhaps what he was saying was not going according to whatever the guy was looking for. It was a bit distressing to see him putting more weight on the other and as a result, Alec would glance over at the other with a tilted head and a small frown asking without words what the problem was; however, whether the other would even take note of the look or answer the silent question was left up in the air.

In any case, the mood did not lighten as the other made a comment about people observing making it seem that he did not take any pleasure in act at all. As he heard the words and the ones that followed, the young man would fold his arms as he bowed his head in thought. “I suppose so…” he would say before trailing off a bit. The guy had a point. One really couldn’t tell what was going happen with another and the at the end of the day everyone was left to adapt to what may come. Whether things went well or not, things always changed.

From here the conversation would be on and off for the most part and even when the other gave a frown to a particular set of words, Alec did not push for the why behind it. It wasn’t that he was trying to be anti-social or not nosy, but rather he found that at this point some things had met their limit and unless the other was commenting or questioning it, the subjects at hand could be left alone for now. Besides, sometimes silence was better than poking into something that could potentially be uncomfortable or not exactly best to share at the moment. So for now, Alec let the silence stay.

Ah. Yes. Soulmates.

“No. I actually don’t see it that way thanks to the fact that there are so many people out there. If you’re focused and locked onto one road looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect For Me, then you’re automatically setting yourself up to fail. You could be sitting right next to your soulmate and not even know it with that narrow sort of view,” Alec would say as his eyes gazed out at the city around them; however, his eyes would return back to the other as he gave a simple answer to the whole ‘what’s the issue” question when it came to dates. At first Alec thought to say something about this, but for the moment he held his tongue finding the timing for prying just not right for some reason. Instead, he would observed the other for a moment in a calm way leaving his thoughts a mystery to the other.

That was until of course the other seemed to flare up a bit when it came the subject of games. They would have a stare off, defiant violet eyes meeting those fiery golden ones. He would keep the gaze unflinching and unblinking waiting to see just what the other would say. When he finally did get an answer a bit later, Alec would finally blink as the other looked away. “Uh-huh,”

The response was simple and surprisingly calm suggesting that either Alec was not afraid of what was to come or perhaps he had lost his own version of interest when the other decided to chill out. After all, what fun was a game if the target of said game was going to let themselves be easy prey? Yes, Alec could be quite the handful and even cruel by some standards, but even so he still had some rules that kept him in check.

Speaking of checks and balances…

When it came to the other’s reaction to his words, the young man remained in his relax state as he listened to what he heard. As the other ended his speech, Alec would let out a low hum that seemed to release some of his tension and annoyance.

"And yet you do the same." Guess there was no true control of instinct was there? Alec would take off his glasses and fold them a bit so that he could hook them easily enough to his shirt as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"No, observing won’t help you figure me out any better; however, I don’t exactly see the need to open up when I feel like I am being attacked. Yeah sure. You might’ve meant it in another way or what not, but that is not how I heard it. On instinct, I retaliated back. Honestly, if you want a better reaction and actually want to know me perhaps not seeming so aggressive can help a bit. It’s just a suggestion, but the more gentler approach sometimes works better. Especially when you come across those like me that will lash back. I give you what you give me,” he would say before pausing as he let out a lighter sigh and sat back seeming a bit tired. “…Sorry if I caused you pain with that one….” he would say after a moment in calm tones as the coldness around him melted.

People were a tricky thing and while Alec could handle most, he simply did not know how not to trigger that this one. It seemed that no matter what he did, he would only fall into a hole. Maybe even the apology was a mistake. He didn’t know anymore. What he did know is that it left him conflicted and very unsure of what to do anymore…But then again maybe that is where the other wanted him to be...

The guy didn’t make things any clearer or easier with the look given or the words spoken. As Alec heard the words, he would be silent for a moment as he observed the other with a unreadable expression as he kept his arms crossed. After a moment, he would begin to speak.

“If it really didn’t matter so much then I think you wouldn’t have started it at all,” Alec would lean his head back and look back at the sky. “Look. I am sure whatever I say or do won’t matter….and to be honest, being a stranger I wouldn’t blame you for just walking away at this point; however, if you have stuff weighing you down and want someone to listen then just let it out….”

Alec would finish his voice trailing off at the end. The words were spoken in a soft manner that suggesting that despite what was going on, the young man was truly being genuine with his words. He wasn’t trying to hurt the other or force him to do what he didn’t want to. He just…Heh…Did it even matter anymore?

Subject: Re: The Evening Chill [Alec] Wed Apr 06, 2016 6:48 pm

Well, whatever the other was thinking, this wasn't really about the conversations doing something wrong. It was just a combination of the fact that he was not the most talkative person in the world to begin with, and not finding any reason to truly respond to topics that were starting to sound very vague. It felt redundant, and even sort of uncomfortable to try and keep them going by some random insert, thus he would rather choose to be silent. It's not like the other guy couldn't have attempted to keep the talk afloat despite that, but he personally couldn't bring himself to stir things around just because right now.

In lieu of the questioning frown, he would simply shake his head. Making it seem like something is possibly wrong would hardly inspire him to talk more. Likely, he'd just get even less outspoken. Was that a form of defiance? Who knows, but he could honestly see enough wrong himself, and it never quite pleased him or made him feel better when someone tried pointing at it too. Makes for a reminder that he would gladly pass on most of the time...

The next time he'd speak up would be towards the topic that was still going decently. ''Perhaps. Although, narrow view or not, you could always end up not noticing the right person even when they're under your nose. Sometimes, the timing just isn't right for it to work, even if it could have in different circumstances.'' It's easy. All it takes is a wrong take off and first impression due to whatever reason, and it may just never get back on the right track again. Admit it or not, everyone considers the person based on the impression they happened to form of them to some extent.

Since he wasn't really in the mood to pursue the 'game' further at the moment, he wouldn't say anything towards the sound he received. What was there to say anyway? It didn't feel appropriate to do it in any case.

The corner of his lips would twitch slightly. ''Who doesn't. I think everyone acts like a hypocrite sometimes. I don't think I've ever met someone who hadn't....'' Still, it was a pain when it came out in negative lights...which it often did during any kind of argument or clash. Sadly, he could say he had the experience to claim so. Which was likely nothing to be proud of. He would just look away from the guy. ''Then this probably won't work...'' Sure, he knew his approach was kind of the problem here, but he wasn't quite capable of changing that on spot. Just like the guy said, acting on instinct goes a long way. He was far from a good match for someone that would lash right back instead of having some patience with him, at least. Likely, he would always calm down eventually, even if this happened...but when the other side immediately turned to somehow fueling the situation, it wasn't bound to end all that well. That was a no brainer.

''I don't even know. I think I'm already fairly numb to this kind of pain...'' He was saying the truth for the most part. He wasn't happy about this, but pain wasn't the right word either. He wasn't literally hurt...and even if he were to call the emotion that, it actually had little to do with the other anyway. He was probably hurting himself more than others were.

He would just bite his lip lightly. That wasn't quite it. ''It matters, but not in the way you perceive it....'' The kind of 'matter' that didn't really have to mean anything to the guy. They were still just strangers that met a while ago at this point, and maybe wouldn't end up meeting again anytime soon, so there was honestly no need to get ahead of what is. Perhaps that was also one of the reasons he just felt naturally uncomfortable with where the conversation had been heading these last few exchanges. He did give the guy the benefit of the doubt by stating he was free to try....but to say the truth, it didn't make him any calmer when someone had this stubborn insistence on being helpful in some way. Not when it comes from a person he hardly knows. Not like this. He only felt more like a fool when someone else was reinforcing the point that he needed help. Honestly, he just felt worse when people were expressing anything akin to a sort of 'pity', and being straightforward about it like this only underlined the point. There was a bit of truth to his little outburst there. He did not want someone that was tagging along with their reasoning for it being that they want to 'help' whether it was the main or just a side reason.

He just...didn't deal well with types that thought putting it out in the open like this was doing any good. It didn't. Not until he himself wanted to talk about it or even deal with it. By his own choice. Not through someone else's constant nudges. Maybe if it was done just right, then it could have a positive influence, but what was the chance of someone being aware enough to tell where the boundaries lie...? Even he knew that he can't truly expect someone to know just right without telling them. Alas, he was not good at talking about himself. It was quite the struggle unless he felt comfortable enough at the moment. Pressuring him to make a stand in the wrong way only turned things for the worse.... He was actually quite capable of making an unwavering decision, however, he had to come to it himself for the most part and at his own pace. Outside intervention that assumed trying to speed it up when he wasn't too open to the idea was the way to go was walking on thin ice and was likely to fail, often spectacularly.

He would flinch lightly. ''...you see, that's it. I don't want to. I get that it's your thing to try and be helpful, but being poked about it doesn't work on me. I normally don't talk about things even with people I know fairly well, nor do I accept 'helpful' suggestions on spot. All you do by trying to make me talk or decide how to deal with your ideas is make me feel worse. I can't dance when I'm told to, unless it feels right to me.'' That strategy would just not work. He did like nice people, but much less when they made it glaringly obvious that they thought he needed some helping. That wasn't the kind of support he was looking for.

He would shift, picking up the cat still dozing in his lap and putting it down on the grass next to the bench. With that, he'd stand up as he looked towards the other. ''....I'm not mad at you, but you're right about one thing. I should go. Right now, I'd rather think than talk, and this is really going nowhere. Maybe things will be different if we ever meet again, but right now, this is just turning all sorts of wrong and I'd rather not fuel it further....'' Regardless, unless he was stopped somehow, he would eventually give the other a nod as a farewell, before walking off into the distance.

~Exit?~

Posts : 27 Join date : 2015-09-01

In the moments of silence, Alec would take to observing the city not really thinking much at first as he simply let his eyes take in the scene. It wasn’t until the silence began to tick on a bit longer than anticipated that he began to worry that maybe he had said something wrong; however, as he gave the other a questioning look and got the head shake in response, the worry would ease up a bit as he gave a light nod. Well at least he knew it wasn’t something he said. Maybe the conversations were dying off because neither one of them was making an effort to continue the ones dying. He wasn’t sure what the other was thinking, but he sure didn’t want to continue things that he wasn’t sure if the other was even interested in. That just ruined conversations worse than being quiet, so for the moment he was okay with the silence.

When the conversation did pick itself back up again, Alec would go with it easily enough. “Well that is true, but then that makes me wonder. If you can’t wait for them to come to ya and can’t recognize them at all, then how did one figure out they had a soul mate to begin with?” Alec would pause and look up at the sky not really expecting an answer to that one. He would let the idea play about in his head for a moment longer before letting it go. Maybe it didn’t really matter if one was “destined” for another or not. In the end, if the person made you happy and complete then that was enough right?

In any case, the situation went from alright to just plain confusing as everything said was either left in silence or countered in an odd way that left Alec more and more baffled the longer he listened to the guy. First it was the hypocrite comment and then the whole thing about things not working in general. Not really sure how to respond to that, Alec would frown as he scratched his head quite perplexed. On one hand, the guy seemed to be reaching out for something, but then as soon as one thought they figured out what said thing was, the guy would turn around and say something that would completely unravel the theory. It made it hard to figure out just what to do with Sharaku, but then again maybe that was the point to his earlier question about handling him. Perhaps he couldn't be handled...or rather maybe the current technique just didn't fit the bill. It was hard to tell and even harder when one was already confused.

For the most part, Alec would remain quiet as he listened to each response given and watched the reactions. He had to admit it wasn’t a pretty sight and when the other decided to leave, he didn’t feel any better about what had just occurred. He couldn’t really say anything that could make things better without digging a hole even deeper than the ones already there, so for once he didn’t say anything as he watched the other for a moment before getting up himself and moving to go in the other direction. He didn’t even attempt to say a farewell that time because honestly with so much whirling in his mind he didn’t know what might come out. So letting the guy go his way, Alec would go his own way.

As Alec moved away, Chrystill would lift her head watching him go one way and before looking the other way and watching Sharaku. She would tilt her head at him as if observing him for a moment and then with a light huff, she’d get to her feet and move to catch up with her master….

For now it looked like the meeting had ended….

~Exit. This thread has ended~

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