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 Shopping for Fools [Alec]

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PostSubject: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:44 pm

((Follow up from this: Thread))

How did this come to happen again....?

Frankly, Sharaku had no idea, but it was a little too late to worry about the possible outcomes of this unusual scenario. ''No.'', he would simply deadpan to the latest question about 'pretty pleases', although he didn't seem to be bothered by it in general. Regardless, the answer on that would remain negative. Commands were a no for the most part, unless one really knew what they were doing, but deliberately glorified begging was annoying as well. And maybe it was simply a result of his currently jumpy mood, thus he wasn't about to be happy with anything. Or at the very least be a little cynical until the other found a way to turn his state around.

He would say no more for the moment as he moved to follow, a small frown on his face. He probably should have thought this out better, because he apparently bit himself a bit too hard. Or so the estimate was, seeing as it didn't exactly want to stop bleeding, trickling down his chin. Such great development, really. Now he was going to drip red all over himself. Not quite the best way to dye your clothes, is it? Not to mention, it was still stinging a bit, even though the pain was hardly bothering him. It was actually kind of nice, and he was honestly starting to wonder what was wrong with him right now. Is that how you go insane for real?

''....''

His moodiness seemed to be taking on a new level right now, and to add to it, he probably looked like some sort of vampire to boot. He would still remain silent however, just walking ahead after the other, not quite interested in being the one to break the stalemate.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 11, 2016 11:24 am

It was kind of odd, having the other agree to come with him and to be honest it was the last thing he expected to happen. He was expecting the other to blow up or potentially walk away, but for whatever reason the guy had stayed and continue to stay after giving a rather negative to response to his earlier question. It was honestly baffling why the other stayed, but even so Alec didn't shun the company...even if the air between them was less than friendly. He wasn’t quite sure what he had done to make the other wired, but he could take a guess that his own moodiness was a big key in the whole matter.

It was odd, by some odd outcome the two males had come to a stalemate of a sort with neither one speaking as they moved down the road. As Alec moved, he would scan the road up ahead looking at the various mum and pop shops that lined the area. These were not his target for clothing, but he did pause at one to purchase a small bottle of water. With that in one hand, he would dig in his pocket with his free hand and pull out a clean handkerchief. Opening the bottle, he would pour a bit of the water on the item in a careful way so no water was split to the ground and the cloth was only slightly dampened.

With this done, he would drop back easily enough as he fell in step with the other. Being careful with his actions, he would offer the damp handkerchief to the other. It was for the blood that was currently coming from his lip wound.

“You do that often when upset?” he would begin his tones soft and neutral for the time being. He wasn’t trying to upset the guy more, but rather try and figure out how they had come to this spot in particular to begin with. He didn’t think himself rude or unfriendly, but something about the guy he was with created tension and instead somehow unearthed his more natural and moody self. As a result, he had said some things he probably shouldn’t have and maybe even stepped on nerves by accident.

It made him feel a bit guilty, even more so when the guy apparently harmed himself due to the stress and seemed to be struggling with his own burdens he did not wish to share. He honestly hadn’t meant for things to go the way they did and now he had to deal with the after math. While he wasn’t sure how to fix it, the handkerchief offer and the words spoken were a small start and a small gesture of perhaps trying to make peace with the other...

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 11, 2016 12:14 pm

For the majority of the time while it was silent, Sharaku would just follow the other, looking around absentmindedly. If nothing else, he seemed to be thinking about something, so he didn't really bother bringing up small talk for as long as Alec stayed quiet himself. When the impromptu stop to buy water happened, he would blink at the guy but say nothing as he waited for it to be done. Whatever it was.

Soon enough, he would get to see the result however, at which he'd raise an eyebrow at first. He'd take it with a faint sigh though, trying to swipe the blood off, ignoring the fact that the wetness only made it sting a bit more. Still better than getting blood red everywhere. His expression would take on a somewhat troubled frown when he heard the question that followed, and he would keep quiet for a moment longer as he considered his answer. Eventually, he would opt to just shake his head. ''I don't know how to answer that, because this is completely unrelated. I hardly do this when I am uspet, but fact is, I am not right now. Makes this correlation a bit moot.'' Indeed, he wasn't quite upset right now. In a perhaps jumpy mood and all over the place, yes, but it wasn't the same as being legitimately upset. He'd most likely be doing something very different if he was. The best way to put it would be to say he was mildly frustrated right now. And a few other emotions mixed in, perhaps, but that would be rather complicated to put into words. It always was. He understood his own state quite well...but explaining it to others? Almost always a fail, or at least some misunderstanding.

He would actually give the other a very faint smile. ''Don't take this personally. I didn't really mean for this to happen, but I suppose I get a bit snappy sometimes, whether I really want to or not.'' Oftentimes, he actually wasn't happy with what he had done, but at some point you kind of start learning to just roll with it and focus more on setting things back on track afterwards. What else could he really do...?

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 11, 2016 6:33 pm

The other followed in silence and when offered the handkerchief, he hesitated for a bit. To the raised eyebrow, Alec would tilt his head slightly at the other and give him a few seconds longer to make up his mind. Just when he was about to drop the offer, the other sighed and took the item, which in turn got a barely visible smile from Alec, his features softening a bit as he turned his eye back to the path. As the other cleaned himself up, Alec let the silence linger between them only breaking it with his single question some time later.

When he didn’t get a direct answer, he wouldn’t push the other to answer. Maybe it was the wrong to thing to ask, or maybe it was too blunt. He wasn’t sure anymore, so he would keep quiet for the moment until the other shook his head and actually spoke. To his words, Alec would listen before nodding a bit.

“Well that is good to know,” he would state his words remaining neutral, yet soft. He wasn’t going to pry any further on that matter. Instead, he was taking the listener approach for now, not really wanting to agitate whatever rested between them... or perhaps just trying to keep his own agitated mode in check. Regardless, he would remain mellow enough as they continued to walk, moving pass another small shop that sold umbrellas. The silence would return for a while as each seemed to remain in their own thoughts for the moment.

When the other gave him a faint smile and spoke, Alec would give him a small lopsided one back. It wasn’t a bubbly one, but more like one given to someone who had already been forgiven a long time ago.

“Nah. You’re fine. We all have our moments to shine. Just like we have our moments to be pain in the behind. Like I said before it's best to get that shi..” he paused and shook his head as he caught himself that time. He would try again. “It is best to get that sort of crap off your chest. Besides, I wasn’t exactly being very good myself. So perhaps it was bound to happen,” Alec would tell him softly as his eyes drifted back to the roads ahead. Shit happened and while those times the bad hit the fan and went all over made everyone feel bad, there was no point in the end to hold grudges over what was going to happen by nature. No it was best to accept what was done and push on through understanding...or at least that is the path he tried to walk. Whether others would do the same was always a toss up.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 11, 2016 7:56 pm

Hearing the neutral response to his statement, Sharaku would focus his sight on the piece of fabric in his hand for a moment, studying the contrast of colors with the red mixed in. Now that they weren't static and moving about, he wasn't quite sure how to pace with this talk, or better yet, lack thereof. Breaking silences with no initial reason for it had never been his forte, and it was much more comfortable to just stay silent until the other side shows interest and initiates something out of their own choice. On the other hand, that happened to get him into neverending quietness very often. At times, he liked that, but not always.

''Maybe it is....''
, he would mutter, his sight turning to a random point ahead, not really paying attention to where they were walking to for real. Not that he would be interested in umbrellas either way. ''You're taking it rather calmly...'', he would add eventually, although there was no bite in his words right now. He sounded rather mellow, if not a little hesitant for whatever reason. He sure knew how to jump moods on spot. Too bad it wasn't all that magical, as it generally just served to confuse people around him. Not like anyone could see into his head, and even if they could, it was a tough game to figure out just what was really going on in there at times.

He would huff under his breath, turning his head to look at the other. ''I don't care if you swear as long as you don't do it all the time.'' It did annoy him at times, but that was mostly due to the intent behind it in those cases, and the fact that it was being overdone. Occasional use didn't bother him as much...well, as long as it wasn't with the purpose of insulting him, because honestly, who would actually like listening to that? ''I...'', he would trail off, pausing for a bit. Eventually he would shake it off though with a light sigh. ''I'm still sorry. You didn't really do anything. I suppose I'm just off my game today. Morning wasn't exactly pleasant...'' It could possibly be that. It's not like that talk with Mae he had not so long ago was very uplifting, and he kind of had a lot on his mind despite how he was trying to keep laidback. He kept having issues with people right away after meeting them after 2 years of nothing, and he was hardly happy about it.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sun Jun 12, 2016 2:33 pm

Alec would continue to trail along side Sharaku taking a turn on the path as the district before them widened out and mom and pop shops began to give way to more main stream ones. They would drift past, a shoe store and even one clothing shop, but Alec did not stop there despite saying he needed some new threads. Instead, he would continue down the path, heading towards the supermarket that marked the end of the area. He still didn’t give a topic to speak on, but at the same time he wasn’t sure where to go after what had occurred beforehand. Maybe if things had gone another route, he could rely on his bubbly nature to carry them through the silence, but now?

Now he didn’t have any of the energy left for that leaving him relatively quiet for the time being as he simply searched for something to say to turn this around….

Hm?

Violet eyes would shift to the side as he observed the other as he spoke his word. When he made his statement about how Alec was handling the situation, his eyes would drift away as he let out a soft snort.

“Calm…Heh. Not sure if that is the best way to describe my state. It’s more like I am not exactly one for refueling things for no reason. Not sure what triggered what back there, but…I for one don’t want to repeat that so soon. So instead, I am trying to figure it out so whatever happened perhaps won’t be a repeated thing. You are welcome to join the fun if you wish,” he said his tones shifting from neutral to soft as he looked back at the other with a gentle smile. His attitude while drained was still kind though why he remained that way after such a rough time was a mystery. Even so his ending comment wasn’t a real invite. He honestly didn’t want to pull another down the rabbit hole with him…though if they came anyway, well what was he to do?

Regardless, he would take note of the mellow and hesitant mood of the other as he continued on.

“Whatcha thinkin’ Sharaku?”
he would ask, his tone gentle and open. He wasn’t demanding an answer nor was he trying to press for the other to share anything, but rather he was letting the other know he would listen if he wanted to place something out there, but in the end, the choice would be left in Sharaku’s hands.

When it came to his the subject of cursing, Alec would look over at the other with slightly raised eyebrows. He had actually been trying to cut back on the cursing for a while now and typically when he corrected himself, people just let him do it. So getting this sort of response from another was kind of welcoming. At least he didn’t have to worry about reigning in himself completely. Good.

“Okay then,” he would say his tone appreciative under the mellowness. He would become quiet again as the other began to speak, but then for whatever reason trailed off. Instead of prying into the matter, Alec would tilt his head slightly towards the other and wait as he quietly tapped the bottle of water against his leg. When the other spoke again, Alec was surprised that the guy apologized again. The act was a bit confusing considering Alec didn’t peg the other to do such a thing, especially after showing how firm footed and feisty he could be before. The repeated apology made him wonder about multiple things about the guy, but instead of focusing on those things now, he focused on the present and what was occurring there.

So the guy had been having  a bad day to begin with huh….

Alec would take the words in and eventually shake his head as he gave the other a small smile in turn.

“You are forgiven, so don’t worry about it,” he would say his tones remaining gentle. He honestly didn’t blame the guy for the situation, so he wasn’t quite sure why the guy seemed to be taking this so hard. It was odd really, but then again maybe…maybe Sharaku had more piled up on him then he thought.

That realization…made him feel even worse for giving him such a hard time. Even so he kept his own emotions in tight check this round as the other’s state of being took priority over his. Remaining aware of the other’s mood he would ask his question.

“What happened?”

His wording was gentle, but not overly so. He wasn’t trying to pry if the guy didn’t wish to speak about it, but even so, he left the option for the guy to talk about what bothered him if he wanted to.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sun Jun 12, 2016 5:56 pm

Sharaku would still simply follow the path, not really caring as to where they were going. And he likely would not until they actually stopped somewhere for real. There was no reason to spend time analyzing the route, so why would he...? Therefore, he would do nothing special until the conversation sort of picked up again, if it could be called that.

Hearing what was said, he would give the guy a mildly questioning look. ‘’…how do you plan on figuring anything out by not getting engaged? I don’t think questions answer themselves on their own. If you aren’t willing to put yourself on the line, what is it that you expect to come out of this?’’, he would ask after a moment of consideration, leaving that hanging in the air for now. It didn’t seem like he was trying to bait the guy into something however. He was simply posing a question. For the logic kind of wasn’t adding up here. How well can you figure out something related to another person when you’re mostly giving them silence? It’s not like Alec seemed to have much of a clue where to tread right now, so how was mulling over it helping any?

‘’There’s too much to say.’’, he would shake his head at the question that followed soon after. He couldn’t possibly describe his current train of thought properly without going on an excessively long speech to cover at least the majority of it. Which wasn’t something he felt like doing either way. That, and he wasn’t going to share just about everything that went through his head. Some things are personal after all, and despite how much the two of them have already said, they still weren’t really close. How can you after meeting a person twice anyway? Would have to be a really lucky meet up for two people to bond as fast as that, wouldn’t it?

He would say nothing for a while after that, just taking in what was happening. This wasn’t really about to change anytime soon. If he received something that warranted no response from him, he wasn’t likely to go ahead and make up one. That would require him to have enough extra interest in the given situation, which was fairly rare for him. Frankly, he had basically not interest in the subject of cursing, therefore nothing more to state either. He had already given his point anyway, and it didn’t appear to be branching off into anything specific.

If only it was as easy as that, eh? You can have others forgive you, but when you aren’t really the type to go too easy on yourself, it’s kind of just half of the entire deal. Sometimes the inside was harder to deal with than any outside influences. At least, he often felt that way. Other people affected him too, of course, but he struggled with himself more in the end. ‘’I can’t…really. It’s fine however.’’, he would half-smile. There was no point. You can’t completely change someone’s feelings by telling them not to feel a certain way. Maybe help it in some cases, but there are always limits. He was quite fine with that though, so it wasn’t like he expected to suddenly feel a lot better thanks to someone. It is not an impossible feat, but it definitely takes some good steps to reach it. With the next inquiry coming in, his expression along with the smile would change into a somewhat sad one.




‘’That….is a long story, I think. Don’t know if you’d want to listen. And…considering how you just recently told me you like me and all that, I’m not quite sure you want to hear about someone who had tried the same before you…’’


He would trail off at that, leaving it to the other to make the final call on this. He wasn’t certain how good of an idea it was to poke into that kind of subject right now, so he would wait to hear the verdict first, if nothing else.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Tue Jun 14, 2016 12:24 am

Alec would continue on his path to the mega mart at the end of the area as he listen to what the other said. To his words, Alec would give a light sigh.

“Mmm. Honestly, I was reflecting on what I did back then and trying to see if from there if it could have been handled differently. Learn from your mistakes sort of thing, you know? Though my silence has more than that one purpose. For starters, how can one engage if they aren’t thinking correctly in the first place?” he would ask as he looked over at the other with a small smirk. Yeah. He wasn’t ignoring the guy or trying to exclude the other from anything, he simply didn’t have the right words to state what needed to be said.

“Besides, I can’t exactly engage when all the weight falls on me alone to start things. True, maybe reflecting on the past alone for answers is a futile endeavor and perhaps initiative is what you desire, but we’ve already seen what happens when I attempt to take the lead, so maybe you should try to take the lead this round. Who knows maybe by switching the roles something that was missed before can be unveiled,” he would say, his words remaining non-hostile or challenging. He was simply making a statement there. He was not looking for push back or anything of that sort from it.

In the end, he didn’t know where to tread with the guy and yes trying to mull over the issue alone could cause problems, but how did one approach something without clues onto how to approach said thing?

He was a lost on what to do and did not hide this flaw. He was blind and had no choice, but poke around until he could finally find something to solid grasp in that darkness. Now how much the other would help in that matter was left in the air. He wasn’t hunting for a hand, but rather just something that hinted he did something right rather than place himself in yet another hole.…The matter was difficult still, but by this point he didn’t know what the hell was expected out of him anymore and so this…whatever it was, was the end result of that confusion and lost-ness.

In any case, Alec would become quiet until he posed his question which the other answered in a short manner. To this, Alec would shake his head as he took off his glasses for the moment and folded them.

“Well... If you don’t want to share that is fine, I suppose. Your choice and all, but umm...” he would hook his glasses onto his shirt. “A little sharing kind of help at times in the engage department,” he would say giving the other a small smirk that seemed to hint at something underneath; however, he would leave the what shrouded in mystery for the time being.

The words weren’t meant as a pry, even if there was just a hint of truth behind them. You couldn’t exactly learn much if one wasn’t willing to share, but on the other the guy had his right to secrets just like anyone else. It wasn’t like they were the best of friends or anything like that and even if they were, the question wasn’t there for the guy to spill all his guts out. It was there to offer the other a way to vent if he wanted to.

In any case, from there the world become silent again as the pair continued to walk. The silence would stretch on until the whole forgiveness issue came up. While Alec forgave easily enough, the other seemed to hold onto the error and not let it go. To his words, Alec would tilt his head as he observed his reaction and felt out the mood around him. To what he saw and felt, Alec would blink as he returned the smile with a slightly goofy one of his own.

“It will be,” he said with a light nod. The words weren’t there to change the other’s mood or mind, but rather there to show in his own way he understood that no matter what was said or done, words wouldn’t change this guy so easily. Sharaku seemed to be a man of action, so perhaps that also meant he needed to work out whatever was going on in him on his own terms. As for himself?  Well, Alec was just going to be there for the guy for now. It probably meant nothing considering they were strangers, but even strangers needed someone to lean on at times did, they not?

In any case whatever mood had come up out of that acceptance was quickly shifted with his last question. As the other’s expression crumpled and became sad, Alec would hear the words said and from there remain quiet as his eyes drifted away from the other as he considered what had been given. After a few seconds, he would speak.

“Yeah. I did say that, but just because I said it doesn’t automatically make you mine all of sudden, now does it? Not that I had a chance if you were already taken to begin with,” Alec would say as a sad smile crossed his face, but why that happened was unknown for now and perhaps would remain a mystery as the sadness melted as the smile changed to a gentle one of acceptance. “So you see, it’s okay to speak on the matter. Besides, if I wasn’t going to listen I wouldn’t have asked in the first place, so go on and tell me. After all, we have nothing, but time if you are sticking around to shop with me,” Alec would say as the first small playful smirk came to his face as they finally came to the mega mart.  

Opening the door, he would gesture for Sharaku to go in first. Once the other was in, Alec would follow as he narrowed his eyes and looked around trying to focus on what he needed to do first. Yes, clothing was why he was here, but…that sale on oranges…and that other one in the seafood section. Did that slight blur say there was a sale on shrimp....

Oh boy. This was going to take a while at this rate, so h hoped the other wouldn't mind this slight detour as he gave him a sheepish smile and wandered over to the oranges on display.

Distractions....

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Tue Jun 14, 2016 5:04 pm

‘’.....‘‘

Right now, Sharaku was half-wishing he had not asked at all. Did there really have to be so much ado over all this? Honestly, he would rather just forget what happened and move the hell on. There’s no point in tugging at it forever. Besides, he did not exactly feel comfortable when someone was being overly cautious around him and analyzing their actions. That would only serve to dampen his mood further. He would wait until the other was completely done, before sighing and shaking his head.

‘’You make it sound like this is some wonder you need to analyze before you can move on. If you ask me, I’m not interested in holding onto every little thing like it absolutely needs to be figured out. Every time something like that happened before, it ended on a bad note eventually, turning into some sort of ‘nitpicking on everything that could be a hint’ game. Can you just NOT?’’

He honestly seemed quite disheartened right now. If there was something he did not want to engage in at the moment, it was some purposeful poking and experiments just because it didn’t go the best before. If you keep pouring salt over an open wound, you won’t really get anywhere, will you? Making it seem like there’s some problem hanging over them that needs to be avoided was only going to make the atmosphere tense to begin with. This wouldn’t be the first time he had gone through a similar scenario, and he had already kind of learned to not let it go too far. It turns sour pretty quick when left to expand, and he didn’t trust himself to keep chill once it reaches a certain point either.

‘’Frankly, if you’re going to get wary and cautious like I’m going to bite your ass when you make a move that I’m not completely happy with again just because there was one lapse before, then maybe you don’t really need to bother at all. Don’t know about you, but I find it rather unsettling to have to reflect on everything and shuffle around as if there were landmines hidden around. Holding back is only a way of delaying what will eventually happen anyway.’’

Seriously though, what does that solve? He’d rather someone be themselves and all, even if it means they will fight due to that than watch said person walk on eggshells and try to adapt themselves to him. How long can one play such game before it blows up twice as hard once some trigger goes off? You can ‘adapt’ temporarily, but you’re still you no matter what. Making changes that are useful for real is no easy task.

‘’Excuse my wording, but pre-planning who takes the lead and such feels forced as fuck. It’s hardly natural, and I’m not quite following this style of approach. At this point I feel like the major problem here is that you’re focusing too much on figuring out what to do to keep everything peaceful rather than letting it be what it really is and moving from there. It does take communication to make things sail along, but what’s the point of turning it into some sort of puzzle that puts unspoken pressure on both sides to perform up to standard?’’

He could sure talk a lot when he had something to focus on, that was for sure. Regardless, while it may appear like he was giving the other an earful or scolding, his tone suggested everything but. Not really hostile or attacking in any way…more like a tired sort of ‘I have enough of this bullshit, can we just move the hell on with life?’ kind. He could enjoy explorations and challenges, but that’s when they happened as a natural flow in conversations. Not some purposeful prodding and dissecting that makes it all feel like a heavy rock sitting on your head. He was very much capable of holding a longer talk when he felt like it was something he could actually end up enjoying somehow. That, and he really preferred a more easygoing atmosphere. Attempts to make some ‘guidelines’ and whatnot in a talk were very effective at killing his drive to engage in said talk.

That said, he would let the guy take it all in, bracing himself for whatever response he’d get to his somewhat blunt opinion on the matter. Whatever it would be, he’d still rather take that than let this spiral into the same old. Besides, he was speaking the truth in more ways than one, even though he did not openly touch upon it this time around. He did not respond all that well to conditioned back and forths. In fact, he was much more talkative and willing to let up when the relations were on the relaxed side without tension inching all over the place to make his mood be on the edge in some way.

He would huff faintly. ‘’It is not that I am against sharing. What I meant is that I am simply thinking of too much to be able to put it into words without it being a novel. I’d suggest bringing up a separate subject in this case, rather than something too broad and general to answer to…..’’ That would perhaps make it a bit easier to get something going. And he didn’t want to share all his random thoughts anyway. There’s always a line.

He would say nothing to the small comment, but he appeared to take it in stride, so perhaps it wasn’t a bad thing. Still, there just wasn’t anything more to say, for it wasn’t a subject that needed to be extended right now.

That so? He would blink. ‘’I guess…I just prefer to be certain when it comes to this subject. Some people don’t react well to potential competitors being mentioned and whatnot.’’ And it wasn’t his goal to inspire something that was largely unnecessary. ‘’Although, no, I am not taken at all. If I were truly involved with someone, I would have shot your attempts down long ago. I’m not the one to go behind someone’s back without a good reason.’’ He would have to really like the person a lot right away, and even then, it would come down to the state of his relationship with said current partner. He wouldn’t be easily convinced to cheat on someone in case he had something serious going on.

He would frown mildly. ‘’It’s…complicated. Let’s just say that I’ve been pulled around quite a bit by a woman who couldn’t decide which of two guys does she actually has serious feelings for in over two years. Kept going back and forth even after stating she was already over it. I don’t have anything against her, but even now I wonder why she ever thought it a good idea to keep doing it. Considering that I knew of her indecisiveness the entire time and she was very aware of that.’’, he would shrug lightly. ‘’I had a talk with her this morning and I don’t think it went all that well. Seems like she’s back to going after the other guy again though, since she made a point of talking about him in my face. Although I find it mildly amusing since he has no idea she has been trying with me at least twice during the time the two of them were separated. Knowing him, he’d be majorly upset if he found out.’’, he would state, his tone moreso flat. It was true that he never had real feelings for her, but that doesn’t make what happened null. He didn’t have a very high tolerance for being bullshitted. Sure, he took it pretty well for the most part, for the sake of everyone around him, but he wasn’t some stone statue that doesn’t give a damn.

Regardless, he would still just walk along and all. This seemed to be one thing he did not give a damn about right now. He was fine with walking around for however long, and he didn’t have a specific goal in the first place, so what did it matter where they went? He wasn’t the one trying to go after something.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Fri Jun 17, 2016 7:41 pm

“…Can you just not assume that the analyzing is about me holding onto the matter?" Alec would ask his tone chilled as he gave the other a glare. “I told you before I was trying to collect myself did I not? And unfortunately when I have nothing else to focus on I analyze the past to just do that. I don’t analyze it to pick out everything wrong and try to undo it because honestly even with all the branches I could’ve seen myself going down, those are now closed. The event is done and over. I get that, but just because it is over doesn’t mean I can’t reflect on it and in turn get my shit together. Like I stated before, you don’t have to play that route or join in on my reflecting if you don’t want to. I just left the door open if you wanted to chat about something is all. It was not there pick the devil out of thing.”

He would give an irritated huff as he kept moving. Perhaps if he wasn’t already wound up and a bit more stable emotionally, he could’ve taken the words easier, but as he was now? It didn’t take much to trigger him…even if he knew it wasn’t going to help matters. He knew this negative side of him that he tried to keep hidden could always break things between himself and others... thus why he tried so hard to pretend to be nice to get along with everyone, but this guy?

This one not only managed to knock out all his walls of pretend, but he managed to say the just right (or maybe the wrong thing) to keep said walls down. His next set of words only proved how much of an expert this one was at keeping Alec from going back to pretending.

To the first set of words, he was quiet enough, but by the second set the white haired young man had stopped in his tracks as he let the other walk ahead of him as he gave him an unreadable look, his normally violet eyes tinged with a hint of red as a mixture between anger and frustration flowed through him. He looked like he could explode, but amazingly when he opened his mouth, his words would come out calmly enough.

“Alright, yes. I am reflective and do see some form of benefit in examining mistakes; however, said reflection is not why I am being “cautious” or what not. I was being cautious because I was trying not to blow up on your ass to be quite honest.” He would scoff bitterly in low tones as he looked off the side and shook his head, doing his best to keep a lid on his explosive nature before turning back to look at the other. “You say I am trying to do this or that with my wording, but did you not stop to think for a moment that maybe I am trying to figure out just how to do said communicating with you? While I can think of many things to say to you at this moment and many more ways to explode at your words, I am not going to doing my best to not do that. However, understand this. I am not trying to script things or make things perfect just to be nice and peaceful. Oh no. We have gone beyond that point. Way beyond it. So you don’t have to worry about my displeasing nature being a result of that. You say do what I want, but as soon as I do that you think I am scripting and wasting time holding onto the past. I am not perfect and if you were searching for the real me so to speak, then here I am no walls or anything. What else do you want?” Alec would say firmly holding his ground as he watched the other with a heated glare. He was beyond frustrated and confused at this point and while it would seem he was being explosive, he actually wasn't. His tone was more distressed than angry at this point as he tried to figure out what to do. Was something being expected of him and he was missing the cue or what? It was really that bad at this point...and quite frankly he was being worn down by the tossing. "You I say I am nit-picking, but what are you doing with your assumption of my words. Is that not a form of picking?”

He would ask before becoming silent for a while and then shaking his head begin to walk again. As moved his next set of words came out in an exhausted and soft tone as the red slow subsided from his eyes. He wasn't trying to scold the guy or anything, but still...

“I am not trying to make this some form of drama fest or a puzzle for that matter. I am not trying to make it complicated. I honestly prefer it simple, but my nature versus your own is making this more challenging than I thought it would be.” It was the truth. In the in the biting response came from too many emotions running through him at one time. Unlike some, Alec was not exactly his best when he couldn’t bring his emotional state back to a stable order. It was enough to make him cry just to release the pressure that was building up from it all, but for now he did not cry as he instead focused on breathing to try and calm himself as he continued to move.

He didn’t hide that a nerve had been hit, or the fact that he was truly frustrated. He honestly was trying to figure this one out, but every time he thought he found a slight opening or safe ground, the other would unexpectedly do something or say something to knock him right off course. It was truly a stressful thing. Even more so when the other seemed to get all sad about certain matters. Was there really a right way to handle this? He did not know. Regardless, he would stay silent not sure if the other stayed with him or not until some minutes later he took a chance to glance over and found the other was still there. Well at least he didn’t appear to be running away…yet.

“…Hmmm…” Alec would consider the words said for a moment, trying to think through the chaotic swirl upstairs. “Well, what is the one thought at the very front of your mind?” he would ask his tone calmer than before as the heat from earlier died off. Yeah, his question was still vague, but he couldn’t see what was on the other’s mind so he honestly couldn’t settle on one thing or another…and while he could ask the other about his opinion on their current situation, he was not in the mood to attempt reflecting after what happened before.

In any case, he would become quiet after that to see what would be said as he continued to walk along. When they reached their destination and moved into the store, Alec would move over the oranges to pick up a few as he kept an ear open for the other.

“Mmm. Competitors are a thing, but I don’t worry about them too much unless they are after what is most definitely mine. In a nutshell, I don’t see a point in the whole jealousy beef when the one they are after isn’t yours to begin with. That is just as bad as people getting mad with someone for buying a hat or pup you were only looking at and didn’t make your own…Kind of silly in my eyes,” he would say as he picked a few oranges and then tested them for ripeness. Yeah, the guy didn’t have to worry about too much drama coming from him due to that sort of stuff. As for that comment about not being taken…

Alec would give his first true smile in a while, it was a small gentle one, but a smile nonetheless.

“Hehe,” he would give a light chuckle. “You know, I never think to ask the logical questions before attempting to flirt or play with someone. I just kind of jump in forgetting things like: ask if so-so is taken or for that matter is into such things as guys regardless of gender. Maybe I should take a note of from you consideration and remember the my manners,” he said and then becoming more serious he would nod at the last part. “A loyal one, huh? That is good to know.”

Alec would say the comment, but why he would not expand upon as he took four oranges in hand and then got a bag to place them in. He would continue to shop as he listened to the other speak about his said issue.

To his words, Alec would look over at the other with a light frown.

“Well that sucks. Why did you let her pull you around like that for so long?” he would ask quite curious of this as he tilted his head at the other. This guy didn’t seem like the one to let himself get yanked around like that so why did he submit to such torment?

“I am sorry you had such a rough start to your day, even more sorry I am making it tougher on you with my attitude. Now while, I don’t want to add fuel to the flame, I honestly think she shouldn't have treated you that way and at least had the decency to just sit rather think thing through rather than try and juggle you both...especially when she knew you knew her game. I can send this ending all sorts of way, let's not focus on that. It is done now, so all that matters is you…unless she is something that is still in the picture at this point. Might be a stupid question, but how are you holding up? And is there anything I can do to help?”

Alec would remain genuine with his words. He was honestly concern about the other’s mood. Even if one was used to being tossed around, being played like that by someone who supposedly cared about you? Well, he couldn’t speak for the other, but from his experience that shit hurt…a lot and without someone there to at least sit the storm out with you? ….Yeah….let’s stop there okay?

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Fri Jun 17, 2016 10:29 pm

Whether it was surprising or not, the reaction received would be minimal at first despite the tone and expression directed at him. In spite of both of them apparently having a certain amount of temper and emotional ups and downs, compared to the other, one could say Sharaku wasn’t all that open about what was really going on under the surface. Not unless he felt like he could trust the other person to not make a big ado about it, or push at it too much. With the exception of certain cases when he was just completely done with it all, and not caring about how would it end. That was far and in between nowadays however, and much less so when faced with the more ‘aggressive’ forms of retaliation on his person. Curiously enough, he found it much easier to wall off blunt insults and direct assaults than ones that were done subtly, or without the clear intention being obvious. Perhaps it was the uncertainty making a difference in such situations?

‘’And that ‘something’ to chat about is? I feel like there’s no point in starting something else when you’re busy reflecting to help yourself as you say. Therefore, I suppose I have no reason to truly join in, but do you expect me to simply float by and do nothing? Though, I’ll admit I don’t even feel much interest when people choose to focus on other stuff while spending time with me, like I’m just some buzz in the background meanwhile….’’

He would just trail off, tilting his head slightly with a momentary frown. It was hard to tell the intention behind his statement at a first observation, as his tone was somewhat flat, but there was certainly more to it than just putting out some facts. In a way, a lot of a conversation depended on how well was the other side capable of reading between the lines, for he wasn’t the best at getting his point across clearly without seeming like he was biting down on everything.

When the other stopped on him, he would eventually do the same, looking back, his expression a bit blank as he listened. ‘’…and the point of that is what exactly? If you’re going to make attempts to pretend you’re cool just to hold off blowing up on me, we’re getting nowhere. I see you won’t hold back for very long in the end anyway, so isn’t that a waste of time to an extent? Maybe it’s just that I don’t care about playing the ‘how to this, how to that’ game so early when I’m just barely beyond being acquainted with someone. When I say ‘do what you want’, I mean it more in the way of ‘don’t try to turn yourself around pointlessly’. If you want to explode, be my guest. I think…I just don’t care anymore. It’s better than watching people waddle and wondering what they might be thinking about me for real. And I know well that I probably piss everyone off to no end with the way I talk, so you’d hardly be the first one to get mad at me when I open my mouth. It’s all I really get, so what makes the difference here? I think I’ve already come to the point where I distaste pretend attempts to be chill more than possible insults coming my way. At least through honesty I know where I stand with that person.’’ His tone was leveled, albeit perhaps a little tense, and he’d close his eyes briefly afterwards. ‘’I don’t know what I want. Maybe I’m already past caring about what I get. Or maybe it matters not what I would want, for it always goes wrong whether I have any expectations or not. I did say that I almost never get along with people for long before, didn’t I? It’s always exactly like this. It’s also why I generally don’t talk too much. When I do, people blow on me as if on cue.’’, he would sigh. ‘’You said you wanted me to take the lead, have you not? Well, now you see what happens when I say something that isn’t just a random comment.’’ He would move to follow again as they resumed walking.

‘’Look….’’, his tone would turn a bit resigned, ‘’If you haven’t realized by now, I am a horrible conversational partner when you want to deal with anything feelings and emotions related on the spot. And if my verbal approach gets you pissed and frustrated easily, then maybe you ought to forget this. I’m not enjoying myself either, and the more you jump at what I said, the worse it gets. This dynamic never works, and likely never will.’’ It only gets to a point when there’s no way back anymore, and he was honestly tired of it already. He didn’t think he could deal with it properly either, since no matter how he tried, it never lasted him long. Besides, he would just be a hypocrite if he called others out on pretending but kind of did it himself as well. There are times when you simply have to bow down to a circumstance.

He would resist rolling his eyes when the ‘edited’ question came…as it was pretty much the same. And it would appear the guy had literally missed the point behind his reluctance. Fact was, the reason why he posed the option of some specific question…was because he did not want to talk about what he was thinking right now. But no, just had to stay right there, eh? His tone would switch to sarcasm for this moment. ‘’Right now? I’m thinking about the fact that I do not want to talk about what I’m thinking.’’, he would click his tongue lightly. ‘’The point of asking for a specific question was to perhaps get to a topic that does not deal with my immediate thought process.’’, he would add after a moment, to clarify.

But, moving on. He couldn’t care less about oranges right now, so he’d just focus on the ongoing talk. ‘’Silly, perhaps. Yet some people think that way.’’, he would retort simply, not having anything important to really add to that part. He would blink afterwards. ‘’If you think so. To me, it matters not. If I wasn’t available to begin with, you would have known long ago. Don’t care about gender either, although I do prefer men for the most part.’’ In a way, it was more polite to at least investigate a bit before dropping the bomb though. At times, he was curious as to how people assumed they had the okay right away, but he didn’t specifically mind that badly for he generally didn’t place a lot of importance on it. He perhaps did have certain preferences, but in the end he could usually adapt. He didn’t go for idiots though. ‘’Figures.’’, he would shrug lightly. ‘’No one actually wants a cheater, I’d assume.’’ That would be rather weird.

He would stop to think for a while when he was faced with the inquiry. Why…? ‘’Don’t know if I can explain this in an understandable way. I…well, I guess I just didn’t really want to make her more upset. I don’t tread well with romance to begin with, so I’m perhaps a bit more forgiving at times to make up for it… It’s a little more complex than that though.’’, he would shake his head. That would probably require explaining more on this particular situation.

‘’She obviously couldn’t figure out her own feelings, and I think she had problems seeing the difference between a crush and love. That isn’t the point in the end anyway. It’s better this way regardless of what she had done. I had entertained her mostly because she at first came to me after getting hurt. And I figured out I had no actual feelings for her quickly enough. I have no reason to be pissed at this. Though, I suppose I’m slightly bitter at the fact that she kept being so flighty until the very end.’’ It was something to perhaps think on, but it’s not like he could be legitimately mad anyway. Not when he was never too interested in the first place. ‘’She’s technically a friend of mine, so I’ll likely be meeting her still. But that is fine. And I think I’m quite okay. I do detest being tossed about even if not literally on purpose, but it is not my place to be truly upset as I never really liked her that way. She was the one who kept chasing after me here and there, getting her hopes high while I was just trying to be nice.’’ She had likely misinterpreted his intentions rather spectacularly, but it is what it is….

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:25 am

“….”

That was the first reaction to the words heard as Alec seemed to close himself off to the other. On the surface it might seemed like a way of running away or trying to block pain, but in reality, he was still wide open to the blow as he continue to walk along side of the other. The silence was just him taking a moment to gather himself enough to speak again. When he did speak, his voice was not aggressive.

“I don’t know. Maybe there was nothing to start a chat to begin with,” he would say his voice surprisingly calm and soft as his red tinted eyes looked over at the at the other catching the frown and head tilt of the other As he saw the action, his eyes would lower to watched the ground for a bit. “However, I wasn’t trying to make you feel like static in the background. So…I apologize for that,” he would say his words hesitant not out of fear of hurting the other or stepping on toes, but rather due to coming down from his heated state. It was taking a bit, but it seemed that something had clicked due to the way Sharaku handled the rather messy situation.
His next set of words only seemed to further lower the heat level on Alec as he watched him.

“Maybe it doesn’t make a difference and it is all the same to you…even so I prefer not to be hostile when it is not necessary. And I am not exactly cool with anything happening here. If I was I wouldn’t have flared in the first place. Though for the record I am not angry just…. very frustrated. There is a difference there...” His voice was drained as he continued to move listening for a moment to what was said before speaking once more.

“Maybe it really isn’t you that is the problem, but perhaps it is the one viewing you. You are a challenging person.... your personality unlike anything I’ve run across even on a bad day. Yes…you do piss me off and frustrate me to no end and the whole ordeal does seem to be a land slide, especially when you already come into the ring expecting this sort of battlefield. I can see why you would actually start blocking the shit out...in your own way. And to be frank, I am not trying to make this hard for you…I really am not. But much like you understand your ways are gonna trigger people, I too understand that my own nature is probably gonna do the same in a different fashion...” Alec would sigh a bit. He wasn’t aiming to make the other miserable, but his behavior wasn’t exactly helping the case now was it?


“I can’t take back what is done, but I can try to do a bit better….”

Alec would say the words as he gave the other expression that was slightly hard to read. While his face didn’t show it much, his eyes did hold a number of things there. He kind of was beginning to understand the guy a bit and by calming down, he was able to see where he had unintentionally harmed the other in some fashion. He didn’t like it the mistakes, but what was done was done. He could apologize for it, but in this case this simply wouldn’t do, so he had chosen a different approach as he observed the other from a different angle. He wasn’t going to run or storm away from this one. No…he would try to weather the storm this round. Besides…the guy really didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. In the end, it was just his own mood that had made things more negative than they should’ve been.

As for that sarcastic remark well....  

Violet eyes would shut for a moment as a small tired smirk crossed his face. “Well, I suppose we could speak on this matter of me constantly missing the mark with these things,” he would say, his respond back half-truth, half-jest. He probably deserved that, but his brain was fried at the moment making random topics and questions a bit hard to come by at the moment.

Even so, he took the bite well enough and in time this too would pass as other topics took its place.

“True.” That was the only word that escaped his mouth when it came to the subject of how people typically reacted to competition. There was really nothing to add to the matter outside of that.

“Hmph, well…maybe the matter is trivial in some cases, but I think if maybe I slowed down a bit sometimes I could avoid some pitfalls here and there,” Alec would say as he scratched at his cheek a bit with his free hand. It was a truth about his nature which was more react first think later….a nature that seemed to get him tangled here and there when it would’ve been better if he had just thought things through in the first place. In any case, he would tilt his head at the other statement about his preference in gender.

“Is that so?” he would say with a light raise of his eyebrows. He could run with that one, but didn’t as the expression soften as he moved along in the store. “I am cool with either as long as we are compatible,” he would say. True he hadn’t been asked anything, but at the same time he found the exchange a natural one, so he did it without a prompt. Just as it was natural for him to chuckle at the cheater comment.

“Isn’t that the truth? Even the cheaters themselves don’t seem to take kindly to being cheated,” he would say as they drifted from the food section to a book section. He was looking through the books that lined the shelves, but paused as he tilted his head at the other.

“I can understand not wanting to hurt another, but being yanked along I don’t get. Even if something isn’t your forte…I don’t suggest letting people play with you like that. I don’t care how much you don’t want to hurt them.... just don’t…” he would say his tone serious as he gave the other a small frown of disapproval. Yeah… maybe he was more jaded in some areas due to experience; however, he wouldn’t go there for now as he shook his head a bit.

“However, maybe I am not understanding your reasoning just yet. You said it was more complex than just that. How so?” he would ask prying a bit at the subject, trying to understand rather than go back to a loop of assumptions and in turn bared fangs. Better to get the whole picture if the other would share. Though he wouldn’t push this too far considering the other had made it quite clear how far he would go when they were only acquaintances. Either way the door was open there if he wanted to go further.

“That is understandable in a way. I mean you did go out of your way to help, but instead got paid back with being toyed with. It is…never a pleasant feeling to be sure. Though I am kind of amazed you can actually forgive her for that and say you’re her friend. Maybe the bond goes a bit deeper than I can see from my perspective…either that or I am just harsh in the forgiveness category….”

He didn’t hold grudges, but he did not forget what people did to him and in turn would not trust so easily when he had been burnt already by said person; however, that story was for another time. Alec would shake away his own view of the situation as he refocused on the other.
“Well, if you are okay with it all, then I suppose that is good enough,” he would say as he gave the other a light nod. Though he was accepting of the answer, if the other did want to share more he was welcomed to do so. He wasn’t barring him from that.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Sat Jun 18, 2016 8:39 am

For a moment, the quiet would settle in. The style of his previous words notwithstanding, Sharaku wasn’t trying to actively provoke the other, and thus he would simply wait until he got some sort of response in return.

He would give a half-amused smile. ‘’I probably shouldn’t be bothered anyway. I end up that way a lot, which is likely my fault for I don’t go out of my way to talk much unless prompted.’’ Or there was something intriguing enough. Either way, he kind of played the role of random static a lot, mainly in a group setting with people focusing more on each other than him majority of the time. At times he was mildly bothered by the fact, and during others he just shrugged it off. He didn’t always need to be the center of attention, but it could be a bummer to silently tag along for too long in certain cases.

‘’Mmm….’’, he would look off to the side for a moment, thinking. ‘’You do not. But can you say bottling up your frustration makes it all better…? I’ve done that myself before, and I always ended up blowing eventually, sometimes even out of proportion. Regardless of which one exactly it is, negative emotions are not easy to play around with.’’ Why would they be? Anger and frustration may be different, but they often manifest in a similar or even the same manner, no? And oftentimes, it’s the serving that matters the most, not the initial trigger that caused it.

He would pinch the bridge of his nose at the next set of words. At times he really wished he knew how to explain his reasoning better. ‘’I am odd…I know that. Although…in a way, expecting it helps me. I don’t actually get pissed off that easily when I’m not on cloud nine and thinking all is great. I block out of habit nowadays. I honestly don’t even get ruffled by it much anymore. Disappointing, maybe? However, I am not angry or anything at all. I figure this is most likely harder for you than me. I’m used to this enough to make it seem normal to me. Until it goes off the handle…’’ He indeed sounded rather calm even after all that went down moments ago. Even when he had a brief annoyance spark, it wouldn’t last him very long. Anger and the like even less. In the end, he felt nothing of the sort.

‘’No matter. As long as we don’t keep arguing.’’

The rest, he’d be fine with taking. There’s always a way to make it worse after all, and this was hardly equal to the head butting he had previously managed to get into with other people. Thus, he wasn’t even truly disturbed by it. Just mildly unsettled maybe, but even that would pass.

‘’Maybe it’s destiny.’’
, he would huff lightly. Was it even possible to get everything right? He had never really encountered such a phenomenon yet, so he wouldn’t bet on it. And suppose as long as it isn’t really hurting anyone, continuous little mistakes are sort of silly in a way. That is, until it starts crossing into the stupidity territory…

He would half-shrug. ‘’Don’t know, maybe. I normally don’t really initiate anything, so I wouldn’t know just how bad it is to miss the mark. Although, I’ll admit certain forms of rushing can turn out to be irritating. At least based on what I’ve experienced being used on me in the past.’’ When it came to the matters of preference though, he wasn’t really sure how bad it was to not ask and be wrong. People can always just enlighten you right away to avoid extra awkwardness. ‘’Technically speaking…’’, he would hesitate for a moment. ‘’I can go both ways, but I find it harder to be interested in girls physically. Not sure why.’’ It kind of just happens, and he didn’t have an explanation for it. Compatibility is great, but sometimes it is not the only thing that matters. Of course, that’s why he said he tended to have a slight preference in the end, even though he was still hanging somewhere in the middle ground, generally speaking.

He would cast a brief glance at the books. ‘’Serves them well though.’’ If you’re willing to cheat yourself, it’s a little redundant to expect complete loyalty from others. It should go both ways, not only one.

When the other tried giving him some life advice, he would at first blink, then chuckle, ending with a light laugh. ‘’I’m…aware of what I’m doing, in a sense. I don’t let people mess with me unless it is by my own choice. At some moments, it stung a bit, but I knew what I was getting into either way….’’ He appeared to be mostly unbothered by that fact. He had his own history of being jaded, don’t get him wrong on that. Yet, he still proved to be showing a lot of leniency in these matters.

He would give a light ‘hm’ at the confirmation question. ‘’It is. I do not know how to explain it however. It is the way I am. I don’t think my reasoning matches with what most people would perceive as usual or normal…’’ It was a tricky situation, in all honesty. He didn’t always operate in patterns that would be expected by the majority, so he naturally came off as a bit weird.

He would scratch the back of his neck. ‘’Well…everyone makes mistakes. I know she didn’t do it purposefully, and she knows she had messed up. And…people can change for the better as well. I do remember what has been done to me, but I prefer to not hold onto it too tightly, unless I know the person had done it on purpose and has no regrets…’’ He did not trust easily after being bitten himself, and it surely showed, but he did not write people off either. He couldn’t stay truly mad at someone for very long, and so he let go a bit more easily than some. On that note…

‘’I think there’s a simple answer to this. He’s a fool.’’ Sharaku would frown a little at that. ‘’I didn’t ask for your lovely input.’’ ‘’What, it’s true. You know that.’’ ‘’Not always.’’ ‘’I’d beg to differ. Yo, wanna hear a story, pal? I bet you’ll agree with me after that.’’ The Shadow would address Alec this time around.

‘’…is this what I think it is…’’

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Mon Jun 20, 2016 1:46 am

Alec would give the other a small smile as he heard the words the other said as far as being static goes. It still made him feel a bit guilty for doing that, but at the same time he wasn’t going to drill apologizing into the ground either. Instead, he would take a different approach to the situation.

“Ah. So you’re the quiet type. Well that is not so bad considering on the flip side you could be me and talk too much,” he said his tones light, though not in the fashion of play. Just in a way that showed he was at least calming and settling into the peace that seemed to be trying to come between them once more. He would continue to move along giving the other time to expand on that subject if he wanted to or not. Whether he did or not, the small smile would stay as Alec shook his head to the words spoken.

“No, they are not easy to deal with. Quite the headache actually and while I understand it is not good to bottle it all up either… whether I explode now or later someone always ends up getting hurt and typically when I am outwardly explosive it leads to arguments rather than chats to figure it out. And to be frank, I think we are both a bit tired of the arguments. So most of the time, holding back seems wiser. I just deal with my own shit later and in my own way,” Alec would say in calm tones to the others. He understood the pro and cons of both sides, but sometimes inflicting the pain on yourself rather than another was just the better route…or at least that is what experience had taught him.

“I don’t find it odd you can handle stuff being already grounded enough to not let the little things derail you. It’s pretty impressive to be honest. As for myself, you really don’t have to worry much about me stress wise since its not just you that triggers me. You’re fine despite what my blow ups suggest.” Yes. He was going to react, but in the end…he wasn’t so much upset with the other as himself for various things. In a nutshell, the reason things were so hard for him wasn’t so much the person with him, but rather the fact he stressed himself out. Granted, people could fuel his nature when handled wrong, but this guy? It seemed it wasn’t so much bad handling, but rather bad translating of words. Alec was kind of happy this one was willing to at least attempt to work some things out despite what had occurred before. It was a bit of relief considering the common response was typically more negative than this.

The man’s calm approach counteracted the fiery nature and explanation (bad or not) helped the young man adjust and reconsider his approach on this. Maybe this was all that was needed to help them get along…at least a bit better than before. Even if it wasn’t perfect and things would probably get rough at times if they did decide to hang with each more, at least this here was some form of hope that maybe things wouldn’t be so bad in the end. Moving along…

Alec would give a nod at the words heard agreeing he didn’t want to keep arguing as they continued to walk. From here, the familiar wash of silence came between them once more. However it didn’t last too long as the other responded back to his half-joke with a huff and short answer to what was heard, Alec would close his eyes for a second as he let out a light hum to that.

“Maybe so…or maybe my skills have just gotten bad over time,” Alec would say in light tones that suggested he wasn’t looking for a true response to the words. Nor was he using the words to pull the situation apart. It was more of a light joke in the situation. Even so he wouldn’t go too far with it as his mood remained calm.

“Mmm. It can sting pretty bad. Some are okay with correcting ya, but some aren’t so friendly on that front,” Alec would say and then nodding he would continue. “Can’t really say for sure how irritating it can be to another as only one type was typically used on me in the past. Mostly one that rushed me to make a decision. That is a bit annoying when I need a bit of space to think at times. Outside of that, I can’t say I know of folk rushing me in other fashions, but then again maybe because I have the tendency to leap first I may be blind to some of those ways.”

A small truth of a flaw within, but at least he recognized the flaw and sought to bring it under control more for his own sake than others. He didn’t like falling into the same holes over and over again after all; however, that matter was for another time. When the other began to speak on preferences and in turn seemed to hesitate, Alec would glance over at him with a calm expression as he nodded.

“Well, if you prefer other features physically there is nothing wrong with that. I say go for what you like instead bending to a norm and do what society wants us to do. Though to be honest, if I had to choose between the two, I prefer the guys personality wise since they tend to be less dramatic than girls…most of the time, but look wise I am pretty flexible. As long as something is appealing I don’t mind the gender so much. Just have to find one that can seriously tolerate the true mess I am,” Alec would say with a light chuckle as before glancing back at the books, still aware of the other despite his browsing.

“Mhmm. Can’t agree more there,” he would say in regards to cheaters. This was a subject that was rather sore to the guy considering how that event was a bit nearer than some. Even so, he was better off in the end without the other hanging about, so instead of picking old wounds apart he left them stitched up as he picked up a fashion magazine and began to flip through it searching for the latest trend to bend to his own will.

He would pause his browsing when the whole life advice bit came up and the other chuckled at his words. To this, he would tilt his head lightly to the side at first a bit confused as to why the other found what he said so amusing and then hearing his words, he let out an amused “hmph” as small lopsided smile crossed his face.

“I can’t say I understand that way of doing things, but if it works for you I guess I really can’t say much. I guess I am a bit more…particular about those sort of things. I tend to…” he would hesitate as the smile crumpled and he looked off to the left a bit thinking and then deciding on something continued on. “…veer off away from that sort of stuff and do my best not to set myself up for being trolled too badly….Can’t always avoid it, but I don’t go looking for that sort of stuff no matter how much I like or care about the other. Guess you can say I have rode the pain train once too many times in my life to deal with that…” He would trail off as he turn the page in the magazine not really taking in what he saw there as his mind drifted elsewhere for a second as a bit of sadness seemed to linger on him. To the words that followed, he would shake his head as he gave the other a sad smile.

“Mmm. I can see wanting to forgive, but..I think after being bitten one too many times, I’ve kind of unlearned the skill a bit. It’s not that I am holding a grudge though. No..I don’t hold onto the issue. I can let it go easily enough, but I can’t be fully kind to the offender either…Even if they do change, I can't chase away the feeling that they might slide back and repeated it all over again. Sometimes, having the other party say sorry and watch them change is not always enough to save them from being a beast in the end….”

And with that Alec sighed as he shook his, trying to clear it a bit. He would close the magazine and put it back on the shelf as pieces of his past did their best to haunt him; however, he would push the memories down as he glanced at the other books for a moment and then losing interest decided to move on; however, before he could take a step, he heard the change in voices and in turn looked back at the taller male as he..no they spoke amongst each other.

The chat got some strange looks from passbyers, but Alec didn’t bat an eye at the strangeness he had encountered before. He wasn’t sure what triggered it or maybe there was no trigger and the shadow randomly piped in. Whatever the case was, Alec would watch the two speak quite amused until he was asked a direct question.

“Hmm? A story?” he would repeat a bit knocked off guard by the sudden offer. He understood the shadow wanted to tell him a story to prove his point about Sharaku being a fool, but at the same time he was a bit uncertain where this was going…especially with the man’s last words; however…he did have a weakness for stories.....

“I don’t see Sharaku as a fool, so I am not too sure how a story could change that. Even so, I am all ears if you want to share,” Alec would say his voice calm and respectful of both parties as he shifted in his spot and began to walk again.

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping for Fools [Alec]   Mon Jun 20, 2016 5:14 pm

Well, there was no refuting that. He was indeed more quiet than not in most cases. On the other hand, it wasn’t always literally a given and he was capable of being more talkative. Just not for absolutely no reason. He was not the one to talk loads into the air and basically about nothing like some people do. Never-ending tirades, yet at the end of them you have literally no idea just what was the point of it, or what exactly was even said at all. Those are the ones he’d gladly leave to the types that liked ranting just for the sake of keeping their mouths open nonstop. No guarantee he would hang around to listen to such though, as he had the habit of filtering out the useless parts…and when everything is pretty much useless, what’s the point of inducing yourself with the headaches?

‘’I just…don’t find the need to talk when there‘s no reason or meaning to it. I don’t entertain pointless small talk very well. I wouldn’t say I’m always quiet. It depends on whether my opinion matters  any to begin with.’’ When he opened his mouth in a situation where he technically needn’t, or didn’t have all that much interest in said situation…it was very prone to turning sour fast, whether it be due to his own style of addressing it, or other people making an ado about what was unnecessary.

He would frown faintly in thought. ‘’Perhaps I am. Still, I prefer solving problems as soon as possible instead of letting them drag on.’’, he would smile somewhat wryly. ‘’You see, you holding back doesn’t mean suddenly no one can tell there’s something wrong. Call it intuition or whatever you want, but I can usually tell when someone I’m with is busy fuming on the inside in any way. Maybe my logic doesn’t appeal to most, but I’d prefer people don’t hide things from me, basically lying about how they really perceive the situation. If you have an actual problem with me or with what is happening, either do something about it and tell me, or buzz off. I think I’m more tired of playing pointless guessing games about potentially serious stuff than the actual arguments that sometimes happen by confronting it. Although I suppose I’m not good at addressing it, so there’s that.’’ Perhaps he didn’t always deal with said confrontations and mild arguments in the best way possible…but he still found it to be a better option than beating around the bush constantly. Or at the very least, don’t be obvious about your distress if you want to keep it secret. But then don’t go around whining later that you were treated badly when you could have opened your mouth early on and dealt with it properly. He was willing to work and improve on things, but that’s when he was aware what the problem was. You can’t solve anything correctly without knowing at least basic details of what the actual issue is. Maybe he could afford to be softer on this, but he has already been proven a few times that the people who put on nice faces in front of him to avoid starting conflict are usually the ones that cause the most mess later on. He wasn’t even trying to ask for too much for the most part. He’d be fine with being told the most basic info so that he knows at least…

On an unrelated note, the fact that he was saying as much as he was proved he wasn’t as quiet as it could sound at times. He just needed to have something to say for it to work. ‘’I…well, I’m not saying it doesn’t affect me at all. I just think that I’m better at handling things with a cool head than letting myself get caught up in some emotional blow up. Sometimes I do fail though…’’ It wasn’t all that common, however. He had to be seriously stressed out for that, or let up on it by his own choice. Oftentimes, even when it appeared he was upset, it was moreso just a vibe than anything else. He took things pretty well, which on one hand was a good shield against emotional bullshit. On the other, it made him a bit less likely to understand when people were throwing tantrums and whining to an extreme, for he kind of wasn’t getting what the damn deal really was as he needed more than that to get truly distressed. Even then, he wasn’t likely to act very childishly. ‘’I think I simply just shut off when someone tosses too much feelsy mess at me, so I’m not really sure how well I can say I actually deal with this.’’, he would shrug vaguely. He could take it in smaller doses, but too much at once and he was kind of ‘wtf do you want me to do about this now?’. And while he gave tries when he cared about the person in question, it was probably missing the mark half the time. Some would surely know.

Small silence later, the atmosphere somehow turned towards slight joking. ‘’Maybe you should dust them off and get some practice going then. Always helps.’’, he would comment with a thin smirk. Maybe he was serious with the suggestion and maybe not, but it would appear that he was keeping it in the general terms of a joke for now.

He would scratch at his cheek. He understood well how easy it was to get a bit turned off when faced with misunderstandings from others. Still, your preferences and dating status were hardly written out on your forehead, so it was all about blind guesses unless you went and asked flat out. Some people based it on looks and personality, but he didn’t think those things were really the best indicator for stuff like that. ‘’Well…they don’t have it spelled out on their foreheads. If you aren’t rude about your advances, I don’t see why should someone be hostile….’’ It’s not like you’re being jumped and surprise kissed out of nowhere, right..? He would smile thinly, a contemplative look on his face. ‘’Then we’re the opposite. When it comes to relationships, I don’t like to jump too fast. Other things maybe, but not this.’’ It just wasn’t like him. Sure, he’d hang around to get to know a person better and all, but he wouldn’t declare feelings obviously right away. He’d rather be sure of what he really felt first, rather than sprouting something he would later regret dearly.

‘’I was just saying. Never said I’m conforming to anything. In fact, I would think that conforming would go along the lines of being straight as an arrow just to avoid any extremists who have a problem with everything else.’’ That, and it’s easier to get by with that. No one will give you looks for assuming they are straight for the most part when you’re out searching for a date, unlike the opposite where you could possibly hit a wrong nerve. He would chuckle lightly though. ‘’I’ve seen men who were more of a drama queen than any woman, so it’s hard to say.’’ And it could easily be plenty worse.

After that, he would stay quiet through the short responses, absentmindedly staring at the books, even though they were the last thing truly on his mind right now. And another subject came up soon enough anyway. ‘’Perhaps I just handle it better than most. I don’t know. It tastes bitter for a while, but I can imagine worse things happening to me than dealing with a bit of that.’’ And he kind of drifted around most of the time regardless.

He would frown.  ‘’It may not be enough. But I do have my own limits. If they don’t stop after a certain amount of time, I will simply ignore them from then on. It varies from person to person. I suppose I just like knowing the situation better before I make a final judgment. Assuming they let me try to figure it out…..’’, he would sigh lightly. ‘’Though…sometimes we simply need to trust in others. As hard as it is…but there are plenty who do truly change and never go back to the things they’ve done wrong in the past….’’ Not saying that he found it any easy to truly trust someone after they messed around with him. Not at all..but he did at least attempt to take a neutral stand towards them if he could, and move from there. For as long as they didn’t blow it too far. And assuming he did not have better things to focus on than them at the moment.

His train of thought would be broken before he could dig into the issue deeper however as he’d find himself in a back and forth all of a sudden. The Shadow would laugh when hearing the man’s response. ‘’Okay, maybe fool isn’t the best word. How about idiot?’’ Sharaku would just sigh at that, not seeing it worthy of a response, resigning himself to his fate. He was pretty sure he knew what this was about to be, and it wouldn’t be a pretty one…not at all…

If the Shadow had a face, he would probably be grinning at the moment, alas that was not possible. ‘’Let’s make it an interactive story, k? That way it’ll be more fun.’’ ‘’You’re just aiming to torture him now.’’ ‘’Shhh, it’s in the name of science.’’ ‘’Is that so?’’ Yeah, something was likely to be odd about this ‘story’, if Alec was perceptive enough to catch on based on their conversations. ‘’Ahem, so. Several years ago, in a place far away from here, there was once a Shadow with bad luck who managed to get captured by a bunch of stupid scientists. Sadly for them, the Shadow was anything but tame, and would not let anyone approach him without killing them on spot. Poor scientists were a bit hopeless, but they still wanted to somehow use his power and so they kept trying to find a person who’d be able to survive in his presence. For a long time, it was to no avail and the Shadow killed everyone he was let close to….’’ ‘’…..’’ ‘’One day, he was faced with a bunch of older teens at once, and the same as usual happened, until only one of them was left standing, about to face the same fate…’’ He would pause for a bit, as if for dramatic effect before addressing Alec once again. ‘’Say, what would you have done were you the one in that situation?’’ Oh dear? Meanwhile, Sharaku would just keep a blank face at it all, staying quiet unless spoken to….

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