Howdy. [Update]

*Sigh* Where to begin? Howdy, y'all. It's me. So y'know that what people think can get through to me pretty quickly... yeeaaahh... you've got someone to thank for actually getting me to write this. Long story short, a flame needs oxygen to keep burning, and it seems mine has long since consumed every ounce of it.

I wish I didn't have to write this, I honestly do, but I couldn't handle the expectations imposed on me when I took up being a DM. What I wanted to consider a fun pastime turned into a job that I didn't enjoy doing anymore, and for... well, quite a lot of reasons, actually. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, but I'm young, I'm fresh, I'm immature. I can admit that, there's no shame in it. They say hindsight is 20/20, and... I think I can see that now. But that's enough rambling.

For around a month now, I've been feeling incredibly sluggish when it came to this site in general. I stopped enjoying making plot posts, I stopped enjoying playing characters. In fact, the only posts that have been any fun to write for this past month or two, even, have been the ones with Mir, as a player. But even that has lost its luster. When I applied my plot to be a DM, I wasn't expecting it to turn into something like this... and hell, maybe that was erroneous of me. Then again, the idea that came to my mind was also fairly huge, as opposed to what a Side Plot should actually be, huh? But that's no excuse. It's time to own up, because apparently you're pissed and I dunno how true that is.... eh, not like my mind's working at full speed right now, it's late.

So, point I'm trying to make: I'm slow, yes, and I've always liked taking my time with things. I tried to be faster to match up to people's expectations, and that was a mistake. So, right now, I'm going to say there's a... slim chance I can continue, not really as a DM, but as a player. I... don't look forward to Philemon seeing this at all, but hey, it's taking every ounce of my courage to even write this, what can that fact add to it...?

Plainly, I wanted to let you guys into the full story, because I've been quiet in fear that'd only rile you up more, and frankly... that quiet will only get me so far. I rambled a lot because I'm still fairly unstable from the talks I've had with people over this, so... all this, what I wrote, may be slightly confusing. Apologies if that is the case... I just wanted to get something out there.

Rita? I feel this, I did the same thing not a week ago. So yeah, don't worry, your supposed to have fun and if you aren't, you can take a break. You aren't one of those people dedicated to maintaining websites and making amazing and engaging plots, your a normal person, like the rest of us, who wants to have some fun. So stand by your decision, and if you decide you want to come back and have a different way for fun, then good for you.

So, hope to see you again someday, Rita!

It's allright. Everyone happens to take on something that they can't handle at least once, and DMing isn't the easiest job as people expect a good deal of dedication out of you. Which can be hard if you simply don't feel it for some reason.

Yeah, it's a bit sad, but it's probably for the best this way if that's how you feel. At least now everyone knows, instead of being confused about why are you taking your time so much. I hope it'll get better for you in time, so that we can have some fun RPing again in the future. ^^

It happens, and I do believe it won't be the last time something like this happens. I'm glad this was simply a side plot and not a huge plot, cause that would have been pretty scary. If you need a break take it, and I am sure the rest of us can pick up where you left off. Hang in there.

I get where you're coming from, and honestly, it's brave of you to come clean with this. I think most, if not all of us are happy that you told us the truth... It was fun plot concept, and a bit of a shame that it had to end like this. I'm not gonna be a dick about it. You tried, and it just so happened not to be your thing. You learned something from it, right?

I give you credit for trying Ritz. That was indeed a big step; however, DM or not I like to see you guys having fun and in good health than having some awesome plot to go with. If you need a break go ahead and take it. We'll be here to give you hugs and lots of love when you come back love. ^^